The Offer (2022) s01e10 Episode Script

Brains and Balls

This is what it's
all about the excitement.

You got 300 people
all watching the same thing,
reacting in real time,
just feeding off each other.

I mean, that's magic, baby.

I need to be in the movies.

Why are we here, in show business?
Because this is the life
that we've chosen.

We all ran away from home
so that we could join the circus.

Bob, what are you doing here?
Well, that's not the greeting
I was expecting.

- I'm sorry.
You just
- Is there somebody in there?
It's McQueen, isn't it?
What happened with Ali?
She's gone.

I was thinking
about what I want to do next.

And I'm thinking of maybe
becoming an agent.

- Why an agent?
- I really like actors.

I mean, they're delusional.

They have to be
if they think they're gonna
make it in this business.

This movie cannot be longer
than two hours.

A normal two-hour movie
can run five showings in a day,
but your masterpiece can only run three.

Guess what.

We're going with a longer cut.

- That's great news.

- Lapidus wasn't wrong.

There are huge risks to doing
it the way we're doing it.

With a longer cut, there's no
way we're ready for Christmas,
or even a month later.

Audience attendances drop
like a fucking brick.

Francis, what are you doing in here?
I can't watch them watching it.

What happened to "I'm not nervous,
I'm proud of my work"?
- I lied.

- Well, listen, buddy,
you got nothing to worry
about they're gonna love it.

Well, this is a first.

Director and producer
of highly anticipated film
spend premiere in the john.

It's a bold choice, boys, but I like it.

A dozen spots either side,
and you come stand next to me, huh?
I didn't want you to feel lonely.

What about you, Francis?
You're feeling left out, too, huh?
Come on, pal, saddle up.

I don't understand
how you're so calm, Evans.

I'm always calm.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Motherfucking "Cabaret.
I thought it was pretty good.

- I like the dancing.

- Oh, well, of course you do.

The man who created a comedy about Nazis
loves the musical about Nazis.

I mean, are you sure
you're even Jewish? Huh?
I'm sure.

Look, I don't know why
you're so worked up about "Cabaret.
- They open way before we do.

- Yeah.

On Valentine's Day weekend,
officially the last fucking
gasp at getting an audience.

Opening "The Godfather" in March
is gonna fuck us big-time.

We've got a great movie.

It doesn't matter if nobody sees it.

If "The Godfather" doesn't open
big, and I mean big,
Bluhdorn is gonna literally eat
my heart for breakfast.

Well, it's a good thing
Bluhdorn loves "The Godfather.
Oh, Bluhdorn loves money.

If it works, he's a hero.

If it tanks, it's on me,
and you by association,
because your cute little tuchus
is hitched to my wagon.

No, no, no, no.

If "The Godfather" is gonna
stand any chance
we got to do something different here.

Like what?
You know, if you hadn't been so obsessed
with the editing on this
We both need this to work.

I said that we should use
the shorter cut.

I did.
I said,
"Let's use the shorter cut.

We can have this movie out
by Christmas.
Why? Because Christmas is the best time
- to open movies, isn't it?
- Yeah, I know that.

Christ, you're really
enjoying this, aren't you?

Oh, maybe a little.

I may have underestimated you
in the past,
but right now, I need
your amazing business brain
to go off the edge of the graph paper
and think outside the box on this, okay?

Well, we're too late
for this year's Oscars,
and we're too early for next year's.

There's no big holiday weekend left.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What was that?
It's crazy.

Crazy's good.
I like crazy.

It's never been done before.

Well, now I'm tingling
with anticipation.

I'm practically erect.

It's too risky.

Nothing good ever came
from playing it safe.

Come on, Barry.

Pitch it.

How quickly can you come
to New York City?
I read the Mark Zuckerman script.

- What'd you think?
- It needs work.

- You read it?
- Hard pass.

Sue Mengers had the one that
About the couple in the beach house.

Yeah, no, thanks.

I still have nightmares
from her working with Francoise.

Oh, God.

We need to get something going and fast.

Francis is already shooting
"The Conversation.
Bob's got half a dozen movies going.

Even Puzo's fielding offers.

What am I doing?
Running in fucking place.

So what's the play?
If the agents aren't sending
us good enough material,
then we create our own.

A treatment?
"By Albert S.

God damn.

I loved it.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

When did you get this idea?
Had it for a long time, actually.

That was the first thing
I wrote after I sold "Hogan's.

A team of misfits tries
to make the impossible happen.

That sounds familiar.

That's it.

Bettye, I need you to apply
your talent brain on this
and think about who could star in it.

I'm gonna meet with Bob as soon
as he gets back from New York.


Send Tweedledee and Tweedle-dumber in.

Yes, sir.

Bluhdorn will see you now.

Yes, thank you, sweetheart.
We got it.

- After you, Barry.

- Thank you, Bob.

See you got some new clubs.

Oh, what do you want?
I'm busy.

Well, come on.
What is it? Speak.

We feel "The Godfather"
may need some help for the opening.

Oh, you think so?
Well, you're opening in fuckin' March.

Whose idiotic idea was that?
Doesn't matter because
Barry's got a brilliant idea.

We block book.

Usually we'd book
just a few specific theaters
Yeah, I know how the business works.

- Don't tell me what I already
- Listen!
We block book a huge number of theaters.

300, at least.

We spend an unprecedented
amount of money on the prints,
but we make that first day a juggernaut.

If we release it
in that many theaters at once,
everybody will see it at the same time.

It's all anyone's
gonna be talking about.

We get more bang
for our initial ad campaign
and we front-load sales
like never before.

It's a brilliant idea, Charlie.

There's already a huge amount
of buzz about the movie.

It'll create headlines beyond "Variety.
Think about it.

"Forbes," "Wall Street Journal,"
"Financial fucking Times.
What if no one shows?
Well, then we're out a shit ton of
your money on the spend, Charlie.

But if it works,
we make film history.

We reinvent the distribution business.

The idea of losing money
gives me a rash
But do it.

Now, get out.

Thank you.

And, Evans
You know who I want at that premiere.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you, Barry.

Son of a gun, Barry.

I love it, baby.

Who is he talking about
for the premiere?
Huh? Oh.


He's a friend, but what Charlie
doesn't seem to grasp
is that the Secretary of State
might have slightly more
important things on his agenda
than slumming it in Hollywood.

Yeah, well, good luck with that.

Hey, win or lose, Barry,
it's a hell of an idea you had in there.

Yeah, well, thank you.

Well, just Let's see what happens.


Do you know what they say
the leading cause of divorce is, Bob?

I've been married three times.

Did you know that?
I did not.


My first wife, she just gutted me.

Got the second wife to try
and replace the first wife,
but that didn't stick.

The trick of it
is you got to find something
you love more than her.

And for you,
the third wife was the charm?
No, money was the charm for me,
but the third wife's a close second.


- Hey, Sheila.

- Hi, Bob.

Ali is on line two.

- Huh?
- Ali, line two.


- Sheila.

- Hi, Al.

Oh, give him a sec.


How's his mood today?
Uh, I'll tell you in a minute.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a nice surprise.

Sorry about the article.

They told me it was only
gonna be about the movie.

So it's not true?
It's complicated.

Well, I appreciate the call.


Can I come over sometime?
I'd really like to talk to you.

Yeah, no, I-I'd like that.

- When were you thinking?
- Tonight?
I know it's last minute,
but I can come by the house.

Tonight's perfect.

I'm looking forward it.

- See you tonight.

- All right, bye.

Sheila, call La Scala.

Tell Jean Leon I need a favor tonight.

- Mood is good.

- Mood is good.



- How was New York?
- Well, Lapidus' idea is crazy,
but it might just work.

Why play it safe when
we can crash and burn, right?
Hey, you want to play it safe?
Go back to programming computers.

Fair enough.

Listen, Bob, there's something
I want to talk to you about.

It's a new idea
that I'm very passionate about.

What's America's favorite pastime?

No, football.

I've got Bluhdorn on line one.

- I'll be right there.

- So
He wants to know
if you've spoken to Kissinger.

Oh, fuck me.
It never ends.

Look, Ruddy, I want to know
all about your life
Who you're dating,
what you had for lunch,
what kind of underwear you have on,
but right now I can't.

Bluhdorn's still using my ass
like it's his own personal jungle gym.

We'll talk about your idea
another time, okay?
Charlie, what's going on?
I-I have left messages all over town.

If he's not gonna listen to my pitch,
then we need to get a star
that Bob can't say no to.

Who are you thinking?
We know he's got a hard-on
for Nicholson.


What? Jack's a great actor.


But you need somebody
big and strong and sexy.


Like who?
Burt Reynolds.

That's a great idea.

Call his agent tomorrow, set a meeting.

With pleasure.


How we doing?
Everything is ready, Mr.

The Beef Wellington will rest here.

You can serve in 25 minutes.

Oh, I got it.

Nicoise is in the refrigerator.

- Dressing is on table.

- All right, you're
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Use the back door.

- It was a pleasure to help
- No, I know.

I appreciate it.
Go, go, go, go.

Oh, hang on.


Did you lose your key?
You don't have to knock.

I don't live here anymore.

Come in, come in.

Wow, you
- you look fantastic.

- You too.

Thanks for making time
on such short notice.

Well, I'm glad you called.

You've been on my mind a lot.

I was hoping
that we'd have the chance to
I want this to be easy.

I swear that when you called today
even though we haven't spoken
for a while
It's like you were in the room with me.

I could paint your face
with a blindfold on.

The biggest mistake of my life
was letting you slip away.

And I know, I-I let my job
take over my life,
and I don't have to do that anymore.

I mean, I'm a different man
than I was even six months ago.

I don't have to prove anything
or or be anyone.

I know that I can have both things,
a career and a life.

And that's what I want, to do both
With you.

You can't, Bob.

It's not who you are.

It's one of the things
I love the most about you.

I've never met anyone who loves
what they do more than you.

I'm worried that I can't do it
without you.

You already have.

Which is why I had to leave.


Well, I guess this, uh
I guess this means
that you won't be joining me
for "The Godfather" premiere.

You really want me there?
Or just the version of me that
lets you say "fuck off" to the press.

Sadly, it's the former,
but I would really enjoy the latter.

I'm sorry this went down the way it did.

I'm sorry, too.

Be good to yourself.

You know me.

Bye, Ali.

Goodbye, Bob.

Okay, your itinerary is inside,
and it's just you and Evans
on the plane.

Good, I like a captive audience.

How are we doing setting
that Burt Reynolds meeting?
His schedule's tight, but we'll get him.

- As soon as possible.

- Mm-hmm.


Good luck.

To the both of us.

Car's here.

Ruddy's meeting you on the tarmac.

You all right?
I'm fine.

Yeah, well, the premiere
tickets are in here.

The limo in New York will pick
you up at 7:00 sharp,
so that should give you enough time
to shower at the hotel.

Bob Evans' office.

Uh, yes.
Yes, of course, sir.

It's him.
It's him.

Him who?

Henry, bubbe,
did you save the world yet?
What's the emergency?
I was in a meeting
with the Joint Chiefs.

Just a front-row ticket
to the hottest movie
the world has ever seen,
"The Godfather.
I need you there with me
at the premiere, Charlie too.

I wish, but I'm supposed to fly
- to Moscow tomorrow.

- Ugh.
Can't you delay?
Seriously, Mother Russia's
not going anywhere.

Oh, I don't think I can.

Please, Henry.

I could really use an ally tonight,
and I'll owe you, pal.

I'll try, Evans, but no promises.

All right.

Thanks, Henry.

Don't pity me, Sheila.

I'm not.

Car's waiting.


You know,
I have this recurring dream
about "The Godfather" premiere.

I got Ali on one arm,
I got Kissinger or the other,
and it's a perfect night.

Sounds silly, I know,
but I've had it in my head
a really long time.

Doesn't sound silly at all.

This is gonna be huge, Ruddy.
I know it.

Tonight's premiere
is just the beginning.

And with Ali gone,
I'm doubling down on it all.

I want to talk to you
about the next one.

So I'm meeting with Burt Reynolds
as soon as we get back
to talk about that project
I mentioned to you.
He's really into it.

- Ruddy
- And I'm thinking
Hear me out
We get Francis to write and direct it.

I know you don't immediately think
of Francis Coppola and sports,
but he's he's the guy.

Ruddy, your little movie's
gonna have to wait
'cause we're doing
"The Godfather" sequel first.

Francis is right.

We can't wait on this.

Bob, we don't even know
if this one's gonna be a hit yet.

We can't be banking on a sequel.

And I know it's just
a treatment right now,
but this little movie's
starting to get a lot of momentum to it.

And I think if we can get it
off the ground
while "The Godfather" is rolling out
Ruddy, there is no other pick right now.

This is it.
There's more of a meal here.

First rule of Hollywood
Never leave anything on your plate.

Look, if this thing hits,
it's the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow
and you and I are sitting at the end
like a couple
of good-looking leprechauns.

I need your full attention on this.

It's important.

Do you understand?
Do you ever wonder why
they fly out all the way over the ocean
only to turn around
and head the other way?
I know that you and I haven't
always agreed on everything,
and, fuck me,
you did some pretty dubious shit.

But for the most part, I think
you did a really good job
producing your movie.

Our movie.

It's our movie, Bob.

It's your name on the poster, pal.

To "The Godfather.


Uh, what are you doing here?
I'm giving the press
something to write about
one last time.

Thank you.

We love you!
It's the producer, Al Ruddy.

- Ruddy!
- Al! Al Ruddy!
Thanks for coming.
It means a lot.

- Thank you.

- What's up, Al?
There he is.

- Mario Puzo.

- Hey!
Hey, buddy! How the hell have you been?
Oh, you're not gonna believe this.

I wrote a treatment for Warner Brothers.

A treatment.
For what?
"Superman," all right?
It was one page long.

Guess how much they paid me.

A million bucks.

Get the fuck out of here.
For one page?
They wanted a say from
the author of "The Godfather.
Well, they got off cheap, then.

Hey, let me finish this,
and I'll see you in a sec.

- Yeah, you got it.

- All right.

Excuse me.

- Evans!
- Henry!
- Bubbe, you made it!
- The Russians can wait.

Hey, Charlie.
We're finally here.

That son of a bitch, he did it.

He really did it.

Evans actually got Kissinger.


See, I told you.

I got a good feeling about this movie.

- Congratulations, Al.

- Thanks, Barry.

Henry, thank you so much for coming.

- Evans, you did it.

- You remember Ali.

- Ali.

- Charlie.


How are we feeling? Are you nervous?
Not at all.

No, I'm very proud of my work.

So am I.

Go ahead.

Look after my princess now.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- I'll be fine.

Thanks so much for coming.

- Barry! Barry.

- Good to see you.

- You look spiffy.

- Congratulations.

I love this.

- Look at us, three musketeers.

- Hey.

Hey, what the fuck? Wh where's Puzo?
- What's going on?
- Mario.

Hey, can I get a shot of you guys?
Yeah, why not? Why not?
- Hey, the brothers.

- Come here.

There he is.

Francis, what was it like
adapting the book?
Oh, I had a wonderful time
working with this gentleman right here.

What are you working on right now?
I'm working on a treatment
for Warner Brothers.

Bob, what's up next for Paramount?
Well, uh, we have a wonderful
picture, "Chinatown,"
which is in pre-production
starring Nicholson.

And then we start shooting "Serpico"
with Al Pacino early next year.

And after that, God willing,
"The Great Gatsby,"
written by our very own Francis
and starring
Robert Redford.

And, Al, what's next up for you?
you know, the Corleone story
might not be finished.

There's a lot in Mario's book
that we haven't even touched yet.

The team's all in place.

I mean, what can I say?
We got lightning in a bottle.

Evans, can you confirm
that Paramount is already planning
a sequel to "The Godfather"?
We're jumping the gun.

Let's enjoy this moment
because the world will never forget it.

Couple of photographs,
then we'll get in there.

Come on.

It's so quiet.
It's not a good sign.

Francis, relax.

You're making me nervous.

But that's it.

That's it.
That's the ending.

They hate it.

I told you we got it.

We got it.

The audience, fine,
but what about the reviews?
Okay, we got it.
Thank you, thank you.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
You read it.

I-I-I can't.
You read it.

What does it say? What does it say?
"'The Godfather' fans
Brando's old flame.

"The old irresistible magic is revived
"in Paramount's 'The Godfather.
"The immensity of the project
must have been staggering.
Stop it.
Thank you, thank you.

Well, thanks.
It's very kind of you.

"But producer Albert S.
"director Francis Ford Coppola,
"and screenwriter
Mario Puzo with Coppola
make it seem easy.
"Elements of excitement
and suspense are sustained
"in the high peaks of the story.

Gangland strategy, vendettas,
violence, revenge.
Beautiful, thank you.

Hey, Al.

You need to look at this.

Fucking Waldo Salt.

"'The Godfather' is
a stunning production.

"There never has been
and probably never will be
"an ending as wondrously wrought
as the unforgettable climax
of 'The Godfather.
Son of a bitch.

You wrote this?
I did.

But that's just a treatment, Burt.

So he's a coach?
And he's a quarterback, Burt.

Can you throw a spiral?
Yeah, sugar, I can throw the ball.

I thought a sports movies
scared everybody.

Well, this one's unique
because it takes place in prison.

- What?
- Yeah.

The guy breaks up with his girlfriend,
steals her car,
does 18 months down south.

I wish you would've told me that before,
I could've saved you some time.

I don't want to do a prison picture.

Well, this movie isn't about prison.

It's about a guy
who gets one more chance to get
the dignity back in his life,
and he takes it.

It's an underdog story.

And honestly, Burt,
I think you're the only actor
alive who can pull it off.

Al Pacino told me about you.

What did he say?
He said you were relentless.

Told me how you went to bat for him.

That there's no one else he'd
rather have in a foxhole with him.

You sign on, I'll be with you every day,
every step of fucking the way.

And I will kill to make sure
the integrity of this movie
is something that
we can both be proud of.

Come on, Burt.

Can't believe I'm about
to say yes to a prison picture.

"Part II.
We're calling it
"Part II.
Well, I love it.

Sells the saga.

So, come on,
what what are you thinking?
Vito Corleone is not dead.

I'm sorry?
They put him in the fucking ground.

What are you talking about?
Is he a ghost?
'Cause Brando will not
Will not play a fucking ghost.

The old man is dead,
but the young man
who first comes to America
is alive.

It takes place turn of the century,
young immigrant Vito,
who, with a sense of justice
and brutality,
becomes the feared
and powerful businessman.

It's still a commentary on capitalism.

Ruddy doesn't like it.

You don't like it?
No, no.

I think everything you guys
are saying sounds great,
but, uh, I mean, no Michael.

No Michael? Of course, Michael.

He he's the Don now.

Oh, thank fuck.

Takes place in the two time periods
so we can play the juxtaposition
of Vito Corleone building up
his family, his empire,
while Michael watches
his family fracture.

It's just like this country
as it hurdles toward the '60s.

Well, I can see you haven't
given this much thought.

No, none.

Come on, keep going.

You got me.
I'm interested.

Many of them leaving a year to the day
from the time they arrived.

Ruddy, the TV's here.

- That's the fireplace.

- Elizabeth Taylor.

Oh, I love Liz.

That was a fun night.

You know, I saw her one time.

It was right before
I pitched "Hogan's Heroes,"
and she took my breath away.

Feels like 100 years ago now.

Well, that's because
you're not on the outside
- looking in anymore.

- Oh, come on.

You never get used to Liz Taylor, right?
That's right.
You never do.


But before we tell you
about the sunny
Southern California weather,
let's find out which pictures
were nominated
for this year's 45th Academy Awards.

Gigantic long shot.

- Doesn't even matter.

- Not at all.

Biggest box office of all time.

We already won.

First up, the nominees chosen
by members of the Academy
for Actress in a Supporting Role.

Here's to 11 fucking nominations.


- Oh.

- Oh, now, that is nice.

That's a 1954 Macallan Single Malt,
aged in God's finest barrel.

Special drink for a special occasion.


I'm only gonna say this, Ruddy.

I want this so bad,
I will fuck the entire Academy
if I have to.

What happened to "we already won"?
Sure, sure.

But there are other prizes
to be had now.

You're still talking about the Oscars?
Hey, I got plans.

I've just been waiting
for the right time,
and that right time is coming
soon to a theater near you.

Thank you.

And for you, too,
Oscar changes everything.

You're in a different category now.

This is your moment.

And when they call the
nominations for Best Picture,
it'll be your ugly mug on TV,
not mine, you.

Unless, of course,
I'm sitting next to you,
which, by the way,
I'll be sitting next to you.

Oh, shit.

People are gonna start
promising you things.

They're gonna wine and dine you.

But between all the glamour
and all the bullshit,
remember, you hold the keys.

It's what you want that matters.

Trust your gut.
It's what got you here.

I told you once,
some people have brains,
some people have balls,
but you have both.

Don't forget that.

- Salute.

- Salute.

Stevie Phillips wants to set up a call
to discuss talent
for "The Godfather II.
Um, Stevie Phillips
is gonna have to wait.

I'm a little slammed today.

You also have a call set up on Monday
with Francis and Mario.

They want to pitch you some new ideas.

Burt Reynolds also called.

He wants to know
if you found a writer yet.

He says his window is closing.


We're gonna find a writer, Al.

It's not that.

I'm just afraid the sequel's
gonna kill my other movie.

I don't understand.

You know how it goes.

If I do "The Godfather,"
it's gonna take up
every aspect of my life.

And then I got to wait, what?
A year, year and a half until
I can get my own movie going.

I'm gonna lose Burt.

You can do both.

Producers do that all the time.

Well, not this one.

I can't do something halfway.

I know.

Oh, hey, before I forget
Meet me at this address today
in Beverly Hills, 2:00.

You got it.

Al Ruddy?

My name's Eddie Kurland.

I'm sorry to be approaching you
like this.

It was just the only chance
I could get to talk to you.

Your secretary's really tough.

You a caterer?
It's the only way
I could get on the lot.


I want to do what you do Make movies.

Here's some advice, kid.

Do something easier.
Trust me.

Yeah, I would if I could.

I've seen "The Godfather" six times.

It changed my life.

I read about the sequel,
and I want to be a part of it,
any way I can.

You got any experience?
I've seen a lot of movies.

Not the same.

You didn't have any experience.

You were a programmer
at Rand Corporation
when you sold "Hogan's Heroes," right?
Tell you what
leave your name and number at the desk.

If anything comes up, we'll call you.

Thank you, Mr.

You won't regret this.

Regret what?
I haven't done anything yet.

You will.

Eddie, this is where
you get out of here.

So what does this mean?
You you're quitting?

Well, what does he mean?
I don't understand.

I think what Bob is pitching
is he remain the head of Paramount
while also enjoying a five-picture deal
as a producer.

Did I get that right?
- Nail on the head, Barry.

- What?
That's that's
You did it, Bob.
Charlie's speechless.

That's two jobs.

How are you gonna do two jobs?
That's unheard of.


No? What do you mean no?
I can't get him to shut up.

Now he's giving me one-word answers.

Again, what Bob is saying is
it's not unprecedented.

Darryl Zanuck did it at 20th.

Oh, now he's Darryl Zanuck.

You're Darryl Zanuck.

There's a difference.

Darryl Zanuck didn't develop
the highest-grossing movie of all time.

What do you got to lose, Charlie?
I'll make you money in both roles.

I double down, you double down,
and what's the worst that could happen?
It doesn't work out?
You get the pleasure of killing me twice
instead of once.

You picked Oscar night on purpose.


Why do you want to do this, Bob?
I want my name on the poster.


What's with all the secrecy?
You about to tell me
you're part of the CIA?

This looks like a place where
they bring you to kill you.


Okay, I give.

What are we doing here?
Is this your new office?
No, it's yours.

For your new agency.

You deserve to get your shot.

Ruddy, I can't afford
to rent a place like this.

I know.

That's why I paid your rent
for the next two years.

I can't take your money.

You're not.

It's an investment.

Thank you.

Do you think I'm crazy for doing this?

It's what you want, right?
I mean, it's a lot,
walking away from a paying job
and going out there on my own.

I get it.

But at least this way, live or die,
it's on your terms.

You know what one of the hardest things
I ever had to do was?
Telling you that I wanted
to become an agent.

I really love working with you.

You're my family.

But still, I had to do this for me.

You understand?
I get it.

No hard feelings.

Okay, come on.

Let's go.
We got to get you ready.

Oh, yeah, about tonight,
I need your help with one other thing.

Is it legal?
Stop asking me that.


Excuse me, miss.

I'm looking for Bettye McCartt?
today is the one day
I'll allow you to open my door.

You clean up nice.

Not so bad yourself.

I believe this is yours.

I didn't think secretaries
went to events like this.

Oh, Bettye, you were never
just a secretary.

Nominated here this year
for the best achievement in directing,
they are
Bob Fosse for "Cabaret.
John Boorman for "Deliverance.
Jan Troell for "The Emigrants.
Francis Ford Coppola
for "The Godfather.
And the winner is
Bob Fosse for "Cabaret.
You'll get it next time, Francis.

Next time, my friend.

For the best screenplay
based on material
from another medium.

And the winner is
Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola.

Come on!
I told you.

I told you, didn't I?
Those nominated
for Best Performance by an Actor are
The winner is
Marlon Brando from "The Godfather.
Accepting the award for Marlon Brando
is Ms.
Sacheen Littlefeather.

This should be interesting.

To present the award for Best Picture,
Dirty Harry himself, Mr.
Clint Eastwood.

These are diverse
and distinguished pictures.

Let's go.

Are you crazy? This is the last award.

It's "Cabaret's" night.
Let's go.

No, I put on a real dress.

I'm not leaving.

"The Godfather,"
an Albert S.
Ruddy production,

And the winner is
Albert S.
Ruddy, "The Godfather.
Brando, Pacino,
Caan, Duvall, Keaton, Cazale.

Now, with an incredibly
talented cast like that,
it's no wonder
that we're here celebrating
Best Picture of the year,
"The Godfather.
Now, it takes an incredible team,
an incredible team to make
a classic motion picture.

And I'd like to start
by thanking the man,
who in addition to suggesting
the visionary Francis Ford Coppola
Thank you.

Also had the wherewithal to option
an unpublished 60-page
treatment by Mario Puzo,
which turned into one
of the biggest-selling novels
of all time.

People are looking at me
right now, but I'm saying no!
Hell, no!
Please, and I mean this,
raise your glasses, the unsung hero,
Peter Bart!
Without whom none of this
would be possible.

I want another round of applause.

Peter Bart!
And last but by no means least,
the man I made an offer
he couldn't refuse.

Al Ruddy, stand up.

Producer, my friend,
Al Ruddy!
You did an incredible job.

Incredible job.

And everybody else, save the date,
'cause I've got a funny feeling
we're gonna be right back here
celebrating the success
of "The Godfather Part II,"
coming to a theater near you soon!
So, as my Italian friends like to say
Cin fuckin' cin.

All right, have a great night.

All right.

You are a mensch.

- I love you, bubbe.

- Love you more.

You deserve the earth.

I'm gonna make sure you get it.

You know, I think surprise of the night,
Brando's acceptance speech,
or lack thereof.

I thought that took balls.

I was surprised that they booed her.

I was surprised Pacino lost.

I thought he would've been a shoo-in.

You have Duvall, Caan, Pacino
all nominated
in Supporting Actor category.

What happens? They split the vote.

You know, if not for that, we
would've ended up at the top.

We would've, but we didn't.

- So you better pay up, baby.

- All right.

Maybe we should double it.

Next year I don't pay you now,
but I'll pay you
Oh, excuse me, sorry.


Thank you.

What happened to you?
What do you mean?
Someone turned you into a real girl.

You're funny, Charlie.

Cin fuckin' cin.

- Francis.

- There you are.

You were robbed of Best Director.

Get off.

Fosse was wonderful.

And "Cabaret" was "Cabaret.
Never seen it.

Don't intend to.
Not joking.

How's the script going with Puzo?
- Some things never change.

- Hey.

It might be better than the first one.

That's my boy.


Al, Al!
All right, come on.

Come on, hand it over.

Oh, you beautiful
androgynous god.

I think he's sexy, even as a eunuch.

I didn't look.
We're just friends.

- Best Picture, bubbe.

- I know.

- We did it.

- I know.

This is just the start.

We'll do it all over again
with "Godfather Part II.

I need to talk to you about something.

Oh, come on, look at you.

You just won the Academy Award
for Best Picture,
and you look like someone
pissed in your corn flakes.


I'm not doing the sequel.

You're joking, right?
No, I'm not.

What the fuck are you talking about?
You put your blood into this,
and it paid off.

This is gold.
Sure thing.
Easy street.

Well, maybe easy street's overrated.

Oh, hang on.
Is this about money?
You're gonna hold me hostage
- for more money on Oscar night?
- No.

- Come on.

- Come on, Bob.

This has nothing to do with money.

I want to make my movie.

Oh, my God.

The the the football movie?
It's a story that I have to tell.

Why? Tell it later, down the road.

No, I-I can't.

The opportunity to make that movie
is right now, and I'm taking it.

Look, the sequel's gonna be great.

The cast is in place.

They're working on a great story.

Al, you've got the rights
to what's gonna be
the most anticipated sequel of all time.

And you're gonna You're gonna what?
- You're gonna throw it all away?
- No.

No, I don't want to
throw those rights away.

I want to trade them to you
for a green light on my movie.

Look, Bob, I will never forget
what you did for me.

And Francis and Mario.

I mean, you guys are my family.

My fucked-up, dysfunctional family
that I love dearly.

And you took a chance on me
when no one else would,
and I will never forget that.

But this is something I got to do.

Right now, on my own.

I don't understand that.

How can you just walk away?
Because I can, I guess.

I'm trusting my gut.

That's what got me here
in the first place, right?
Look, you do this,
but you fail
it's all yours.

That's the only way I want it.

- All right.

- Thanks, bubbe.

- You're a class act, Bob.

- Thank you.

Thank you for everything.

Hell of a run.

It was a hard choice to make,
but it's the only one I could live with.

Still think you made the right decision?
Time will tell, Burt.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Sir, uh, we're about ready to roll.

"The Longest Yard," scene 52, take one.

Roll sound.

Previous Episode