The Orville (2017) s01e06 Episode Script


1 Okay, let's hear it.
How did you dump him? Everyone wants to know.
There's nothing juicy to tell.
I just told him that if he couldn't get comfortable with our differences, then there was no point dragging this out.
And by "differences," you mean the fact that you could bench press him with one arm.
Apparently, having a girlfriend with ten times your physical strength makes a guy feel emasculated.
Wow, you're just gonna have to date Isaac here.
ISAAC: I am fascinated by the interpersonal behavior of biological organisms.
I would be happy to attempt sexual relations with you, Lieutenant.
I'm actually just sort of working on myself right now.
Um [CLEARS THROAT] but thanks.
Lieutenant what is that? What, you never seen sushi? It's a regional dish from Earth.
Raw fish.
You want to try it? - GORDON: No, wait, that's wasabi.
- JOHN: Wait.
Whoa! You got to be kidding me.
He just - You just ate the whole ball.
- Dude, are you okay? I am feeling no discomfort.
How? If I ate half that much, I'd be throwing up and crying in it.
The Moclan digestive system is quite resilient.
Because of our planet's harsh climate, my species evolved to draw nourishment from a wide variety of organic and inorganic matter.
So you can eat anything? I can eat many things.
Can you eat this napkin? Ooh! [BOTH LAUGHING] Hang on.
Hang on.
One cactus plant.
Can you eat this? Oh, come on, Gordon, don't He's gonna hurt himself.
[GORDON AND JOHN LAUGH] Come on! No way! What about this glass? Oh! Oh! Oh, this is gonna be fun.
This is Ew.
This is gonna be a new fun thing.
Hang on.
I'm gonna find a bag of nails.
KELLY [OVER COMM]: Bridge to all senior officers.
We're receiving a priority one distress call.
Report to the bridge.
We're gonna come back to this.
How long before we arrive at the colony? About two minutes out, sir.
Still no other Union ships in the sector? Negative, Commander.
Coming into scanner range now, Captain.
One Krill battle cruiser detected.
Kastra 4 has pretty weak planetary defenses, don't they? They're a brand-new colony.
Damn it, this is the third Krill attack in a month.
I have visual contact, sir.
Aw, man, they're getting clobbered.
- Ed, there are families down there.
- I know.
There's probably a lot of single people, too.
Sir, the offensive capabilities of the Krill ship are significantly superior to our own.
Alara, open a hailing channel.
Attention, Krill ship, - this is the U.
- Oh, uh, I haven't done it yet.
Okay, you're on.
- Now? - Yeah.
All right.
Attention, Krill ship, this is the U.
Cease fire immediately, or we will respond.
In the history of space battles, has that ever worked? They have ceased firing upon the planet.
I stand corrected.
Yeah, I, uh I don't think it worked.
Deflectors down to 87%.
Return fire.
Direct hit.
No damage.
Somebody put that out! What happened to automatic fire suppression? That's the panel that caught fire.
- Ed, if we stay in a pounding match - We lose.
I know.
Gordon, can you take us into the upper atmosphere of the planet? Just skim the surface between air and space.
Captain, that'll create a lot of friction.
With the deflectors low, the atmosphere Can you do it? - Yes, sir.
- All right, take us in.
Bortus, prepare to launch all plasma torpedoes simultaneously.
Sir, that will leave us virtually defenseless.
Follow my orders.
Gordon, how close? Entering upper atmosphere, sir.
The Krill ship is continuing weapons fire.
BORTUS: They seem unable to lock onto us.
You're throwing up a smoke screen.
Their scanners are blinded.
Gordon, on my mark, take a straight shot upward, and I mean hard.
Aye, sir.
Fire torpedoes.
[EXHALES] Alara, hail the colony.
You're on, sir.
Kastra 4, this is Captain Ed Mercer of the U.
What is your condition? [PANTING]: Captain, this is Mining Chief Leidecker.
We got hit hard.
There are dozens of casualties.
19 people already confirmed dead.
All right, stand by.
We're sending help.
Mercer out.
Bridge to sickbay.
Finn, assemble a medical team.
CLAIRE: Aye, sir.
To the victor go the spoils.
Captain Mercer, this is a game changer.
An intact, functioning Krill shuttle.
Every once in a while you get lucky.
It was just floating out there in the wreckage.
ED: I imagine the Union engineering corps is gonna have a field day pulling this thing apart.
I'm sure they would.
But we have a different plan in mind.
Despite all of our engagements with the Krill, we've only managed to gain a few scraps of intelligence regarding their culture.
Generally, when a civilization becomes more technologically advanced, their adherence to religion declines.
But the Krill are an exception.
They've clung fiercely to their faith, even into the age of interstellar travel.
All we know of their religion is that it places the Krill people above all other forms of life.
When they attack a colony for its resources, they don't see it as an evil act.
It's their "divine right.
" God created plants and animals solely for the use of man.
We can't reason with them.
And if we went to war, they'd see it as a holy crusade, which means it could last decades.
Well, we also can't just sit by and do nothing while these attacks continue.
We need to understand them.
Find a way to communicate in a fashion that resonates.
We need to obtain a copy of the Anhkana.
What's the Anhkana? The Krill Bible It determines their code of conduct in all matters.
It would go a long way toward helping us find an inroad.
How do we get one? Union intelligence believes that every Krill ship has at least one on board.
Well, you're not gonna find one out there That ship is decimated.
You're going to find one.
S Sorry, uh so sorry, what, now? You and your helmsmen are gonna take that shuttle across the border and infiltrate a Krill vessel.
You're going to obtain a copy of the Anhkana.
Admiral, there has to be someone with more undercover experience.
What? You want to risk death on a Krill ship? No, but y-you also don't have to make me look bad with company over.
OZAWA: We have a window of opportunity to make use of the shuttle before they know we have it.
The shuttle is here, you're here, and we all know that Malloy is the best pilot in the fleet.
Get prepped, Captain.
You got the job.
Kitan to shuttle bay.
We're approaching the border of Krill space.
You almost finished? Yes, sir.
The shuttle is ready to depart.
Grayson to Mercer.
The shuttle is prepped and ready to launch.
Move! ED: Everyone just stay calm.
If we do what he says, he won't hurt anyone.
What do you want? Which one of you is Bortus? I am Bortus.
I want you to eat my weapon.
What? [BOTH LAUGHING] - Oh, man! - Oh, my God.
- Your faces were freakin' priceless.
- That was great.
What the hell's going on here? [WHIRRING] Gordon? Dude, that was hilarious.
They're miniature holographic generators, courtesy of Isaac.
We can fool their eyes and their bioscanners.
Ed, they're sending you into enemy space, and you're acting like it's some big joke.
My God, if you are discovered Look, Kelly, why do you think I'm trying to lighten the mood here? I'm scared off my ass.
Just do me a favor, okay? Be very, very careful.
I will.
I promise.
[COMM BEEPS] Grayson to bridge.
Stand by to launch.
CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL: Shine the light on me GORDON [SINGING ALONG]: Let the Midnight Special Shine the light on me Let the Midnight Special Shine the ever-lovin' light On me Hey, do you mind turning that down, please? Better yet, off? [TURNS OFF MUSIC] What are you reading? It's the intelligence briefing the admiral prepared.
You should be reading it, too.
Well, just summarize the important parts.
Listen to this.
Apparently, the atmosphere of the Krill home world is permanently shrouded by a dense cloud cover that obscures 96% of the sunlight from the planet's surface.
A world existing in perpetual night.
[SCOFFS] No wonder they're so cranky all the time.
Oh, crap.
You know what we forgot to do? - What? - We forgot to come up with Krill names.
- Oh, my God, you're right.
- Yeah.
What do Krill names sound like? I don't know.
I don't think anybody knows.
Probably exotic and alien.
Probably, yeah.
Like Quarz noth, like that kind of thing.
Zang uh, tozon.
- Probably not "stein.
" - No, not "stein.
" Like a Haj valorp.
- Haagendazs.
- Yeah, see, any one of these could be right We don't know.
[PANEL BEEPS] There's a ship approaching.
A Krill destroyer.
Oh, man.
This is it.
All right, switch 'em on.
This is the Yakar.
Identify yourself.
Yakar, we are a shuttle from the Krill ship Kakov.
Request permission to dock.
[RAPID BEEPING] They're scanning us.
We're about to find out whether or not these things work.
You are clear for docking.
[SIGHS] You ready? Yeah.
Hey there.
How's it going? Come with us.
The captain wishes to speak with you.
Welcome, brothers, to the Yakar.
I am Captain Haros.
This is our High Priest, Sazeron.
I'm Chris.
And this is Devon.
Those are strange names.
Oh, yeah, not like Haros.
ED: Hey, listen, thank you so much for rescuing us.
We've been through an ordeal.
What happened to the Kakov? It was destroyed in a battle with a Union ship, the Orville.
We were the only two survivors; We barely escaped - with our lives.
- Yeah, they must've had a crazy good pilot.
I mean, the moves on this guy.
We we just never had a chance.
Strange that you were the only survivors.
Well we were conducting maintenance on a shuttle at the time, and when the Kakov was destroyed, the shuttle was thrown clear into space.
Seems you were unusually fortunate.
Well Devon and I prayed that we would be rescued, and here you are, so Can't can't do that in these.
We are pleased to be the answer to your prayers.
Don't you agree, Sazeron? The Anhkana teaches that all Krill are brothers in the Great Crusade.
Ah, the Anhkana.
That-That's my favorite book.
Since you have had a close engagement with a Union ship, perhaps you have information that could be useful to our present mission.
What mission is that? I'd like to hear about it.
It is time for services.
HAROS: I always look forward to this time of day.
It is a welcome break from our duties, and a reminder of our place in the universe and in the eyes of Avis.
Avis? Yes, I agree.
I find services to be a great source of comfort.
Yeah, y-you know, it's also kind of fun to see how your coworkers dress when they're off the clock.
You know, 'cause I think everybody's got their own style that they don't really get to to show during work hours.
I think it's great to see people get to really express themselves through fashion.
Like, you really get to see the person inside.
- You know? - Indeed.
This chapel is a recreation of the one in which I worshipped as a child.
Well, I guess it's true what they say: Rank has its privileges.
I have never heard that aphorism.
Who says it? Oh.
I I guess it's me who says it.
It is a wise observation.
Take any place you wish.
We will speak later.
I am Teleya.
I have not seen you at services before.
No, uh, actually, we just got here.
I'm Chris and this is Devon.
We were on the Kakov.
You were? My brother was on the Kakov.
I'm I'm very sorry.
He is now at peace in the arms of Avis.
Should we tell them their god is - a 20th century car rental company? - Quiet.
Perhaps you knew my brother.
He was the tactical officer.
His name was Arnak.
Yeah, no, I Great guy.
Then you were friends? Um we were, we were.
Yeah, really tight, me and that guy.
Buddies for life.
Devon and Arnak.
"Darnak," they called us.
Strange he never spoke of you.
You say you were close? Oh, man, yeah.
Yeah, we we used to take baths together.
I'm really gonna miss him.
As am I.
I do know that he really loved his sister.
That is good to hear.
I know Avis will protect his eternal soul.
Yeah, he's he's got the gold membership now.
- Shh.
- He's not waiting in any lines.
Going right to his car.
[WHISPERS]: For God's sake, shut up.
[BELL CLANGS] [BELL CLANGS] A blessed evening.
Temeen Emideen.
OTHERS [IN UNISON]: Temeen Emideen.
Katniss Everdeen.
Let us now cleanse.
[GASPS] This human was captured during the taking of the colony on Chara three.
He believed his people had claim to its resources.
But he is not Krill.
And Avis has touched us with his divine hand.
Hail Avis.
Hail victory! OTHERS: Hail Avis! Hail victory! Temeen Emideen.
OTHERS: Temeen Emideen.
SAZERON: Temeen Emideen.
[STABBING] Temeen.
Temeen Emideen.
Temeen Emideen! Temeen Emideen! Temeen Emideen! Temeen Emideen! I enjoyed sharing worship with you.
Perhaps I shall see you again.
Yeah, this is, uh kind of a crazy week for me, but we'll-we'll figure something out.
Come on.
Dude, that was the sickest, darkest thing I've ever seen.
I thought I was gonna throw up.
Let's go.
By the way, Chris and Devon? Look, it just slipped out.
I had to think of something.
Let's just focus on our job, okay? [CAMERA BEEPS] [CAMERA BEEPS] [CAMERA BEEPS] That is a lot of pages, man.
Yeah, well, the sooner we're done, the sooner we can get the hell out of here.
May I help you, brothers? Sazeron.
We simply wished to seek further guidance and comfort from the Anhkana for our, uh, grief over the destruction of our ship.
Oh wise and powerful Avis, cover the loss of our vehicle.
And have you found the wisdom you seek? - I think, I think we did.
- Yeah, I think we did.
- I think we did, yeah.
- Definitely.
I-I know, uh, for me, man, whenever I'm having a bad day, all I got to do is crack that baby open to any page and it's just, just like a back rub for the brain, man.
It just hits the spot.
So, yeah.
I think we're all set here, yeah? I think we are.
I think we're done, right? I think I think we're-we're, we're just gonna go on and, uh, check-in with the, uh, "Capitan.
" And, uh, thank him again for his hospitality.
So, we'll see ya.
These quarters are like a dungeon.
How can they live like this? Well, just be glad it's not a dungeon.
The Captain trusts us for now.
Oh, God, their literature is gruesome.
It's like a Bret Easton Ellis novel.
How much longer? ED: The ship's night shift began two hours ago, so we should be safe.
[GRUNTS] What the hell's the matter with you? I was trying to tip-toe.
Don't walk so close behind me.
That must be Avis.
Man, he's a real dick, isn't he? Let's do this fast.
My lord.
I request permission to place a guard on the chapel.
For what reason? I do not trust our visitors.
Chris and Devon.
Why not? I found them in the chapel after services.
They seemed unusually interested in the Anhkana.
Is that not a good thing? Perhaps.
But I am not convinced their intentions were holy.
You have always had a suspicious nature, my friend.
But then, you have earned that right.
If it will set your mind at ease [COMM BEEPS] This is Captain Haros, place a guard on the chapel.
Thank you, my lord.
GORDON: The Union anthropologists are gonna be digging through this for months.
Maybe years.
[CAMERA BEEPS] My comm scanner's acting funny.
I think it Gordon.
The emitters.
Dude, you look like you.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
Try yours.
[INHALES SHARPLY] Oh, thank God.
What the hell went wrong? Looks like some kind of electromagnetic interference.
Try adjusting the frequency on your emitter.
[SIGHS] There we go.
Oh Wait a minute.
Interference from what? Whatever it is, it's two decks below us.
Giving off a hell of a power signature.
This is the source.
I'm reading high levels of neutron radiation.
Well, that doesn't look friendly.
It's not.
It's a bomb.
We have the Anhkana, let's just get the hell outta here.
That weapon generates enough neutron radiation to wipe out billions of people.
We have to find out what they're doing with it.
Well, how are we supposed to do that? [SIGHS] This is very kind of you.
I have not shared an evening meal in some time.
Well, you're kind of our only friend on board this ship.
We just thought we should get to know you better.
A wonderful idea.
Sorry it smells like dudes in here.
TELEYA: Thank you, Avis, for this, our sustenance, that it may provide strength and perseverance.
Would you like to say a blessing? W Um Avis.
We try harder.
I'm sorry again about your brother.
It is difficult.
But in his death, I have found further confirmation of my faith.
In what way? TELEYA: The Anhkana teaches that that which is not of Krill is without soul.
The truth of those words was reinforced when the Union killed my brother.
We will be carrying out the will of Avis when we destroy Rana three.
Yes, I've been told of our holy mission.
The bomb is very impressive.
Devon and I were wondering how it works.
We've never seen anything like it.
It is a prototype neutron field generator.
It can destroy all life on a continent in a matter of minutes.
Rana three will be the first test.
Rana three is a farming colony.
They have no defenses.
An ideal site, yes.
We got to warn the Union.
We got to take the shuttle and get the hell outta here.
They wouldn't be able to send help in time.
We're here.
We have to find a way to stop this.
This wasn't part of our mission, Ed.
We were literally just sent here - to make Xeroxes.
- I know that! But there are over 100,000 people in that colony.
We can't just let the Krill murder them.
Well, what are we supposed to do? The default frequency of our emitters operates on a similar wavelength as that neutron generator.
That's why we got the interference.
So? What if we turned it around? Create a feedback loop, and use our emitters to activate the weapon.
We could trigger an overload.
And we'd be able to do it remotely - from the shuttle.
- Exactly.
We came here to try to find a way to make peace.
And now we're talking about killing everybody on board.
If you have another answer, I'm all ears.
We'll need tools.
Are you busy at the moment? Well, we were just on our way to get our chin horns waxed.
Would you mind taking a few minutes to speak with my trainees? - Uh, no.
- Uh, yeah.
No, sure.
Yeah, we can take a few minutes, yeah.
Follow me.
Trainees, to attention.
Children, these are the brave soldiers I told you about, Chris and Devon.
They are here to tell you about their battles with the Union, and to answer your questions.
How many humans have you killed? Uh, you know, that's a really good question.
I would have to check my notes and get back to you.
Why doesn't the Union believe in Avis? Well, they worship their own god called Hertz.
Do humans have souls? Of course not, Coja.
Then how can they talk? Or make spaceships? A computer can talk.
That does not mean it has a soul.
Remember the Anhkana.
"Judge not a stranger by his sheath but by his sword.
" Wouldn't you agree, Chris? Yeah, that's what my tramp stamp says.
You know, I just remembered, we have some work we have to finish up.
Is it okay if we come back later? Of course.
That is fine.
We'll see you then.
Krill or no Krill, I'm not gonna kill - a bunch of kids.
- Well, what about the colony? I don't know.
But I do know that if we destroy this ship with those children on board, then Teleya's right We have no souls.
There are kids on Rana three.
ED: Coja.
- What are you doing here? - I have more questions.
Look, this is not a good time.
You're gonna have to I want to know where the humans come from.
[SIGHS] Earth.
They come from a planet called Earth.
- But, listen, Coja - Where is it? [SIGHS]: Well, it's it's really far away.
See that bright star right there? Right there.
Well, if you looked to the left of it with a really powerful telescope, you'd see the star at the center of Earth's planetary system.
How come humans don't look like Krill? [SIGHS HEAVILY] Well on Krill, it's really dark.
Right? And that's why we all have very pale skin.
But on Earth, it's different all over the planet.
In some places, where there's a lot of sunshine, they evolved special cells that produce darker skin that protects them from ultraviolet rays, and Coja, I'm sorry, but you need to go now.
But I want to know - how the humans get - Later We'll talk later.
Okay? Go on, go on.
Go play in traffic.
If we could access the internal power grid, how much do you think we could turn up the lights on this ship? Well, if we could induce a power surge, probably as much as you want.
Why? Sunlight.
For a species that evolved in darkness, sunlight would be deadly.
You remember when we fought the Krill on Epsilon 2? They wore helmets.
We always assumed it was a military affectation, but it's not.
They were protecting themselves from sunlight.
Oh, my God.
They're space vampires.
Exactly! We could amplify the UV end of the spectrum, they'd fry, and we'd just get a bad sunburn.
But what about the kids? We could blow out the lights in the classroom.
We just have to make sure we do it when they're all inside.
Dude we're vampire hunters.
Let's go.
Hey, you know what'd look good on this wall? A black velvet painting of Avis.
That would be good.
This is excellent.
[QUIETLY]: Gordon, what's your status? Ready when you are.
I can set the timing of the surge on your mark.
I'm outside the classroom.
The kids are all inside.
Give us ten minutes to be safe.
As soon as the surge is initiated, meet me at the rendezvous point.
Mercer out.
Mercer here.
What is it, Gordon? Sorry.
What's the rendezvous point again? For God's sake, the bridge, Gordon, we meet on the bridge.
Oh, right, yeah.
Got it.
Brain fart.
Hello, Devon.
I hope I didn't interrupt a private conversation.
You've returned.
Yeah, you know, I felt kind of bad about leaving so abruptly before.
Well, your timing is excellent.
I was just about to let the class go early.
No, no! Don't do that.
What I mean is I want to make sure I have time to answer everyone's questions, about the battle.
That is very thoughtful of you.
[CHUCKLES]: Hey, one of the good ones right here.
This guy.
Perhaps you wish to explain why you are in possession of a Union device.
It's, uh it's a toy.
- A toy.
- Yeah.
I'm part of this cosplay group, and my friends always make me play the human.
Search him.
And what is this? That is a pepper mill.
Got it for Christmas.
Kind of a crappy gift, right? Yeah, my family sucks.
Sound the alarm.
Find the other one immediately, and bring this one to the captain.
Wait a minute.
Teleya, where's Coja? Uh, he requested a pass.
He said he wanted to go look at the stars.
What's the matter? - KRILL VOICE: Intruder alert! - [ALARM BLARING] Intruder alert! Find and detain Officer Chris.
Chris, what are you doing?! Teleya, listen to me.
I need you to keep the kids in this room until I get back, okay? Why are they looking for you? What have you done? Just please trust me.
On your brother's honor.
Keep the kids here until I return.
Will you do that? All right.
[QUIET CHATTER] Where is your compatriot? I don't know that word.
Why are you here? - What is your mission? - Look, dude, we just came here 'cause we were trying to find a way to make peace with you guys.
Hey, we thought maybe if we read the Anhkana, we could find some common ground.
You lie.
You're after the neutron field generator.
I mean, yes, it sort of became about that, but I swear to you [SCREAMS] Damn it! That's a brand-new leg! Sir.
We are entering orbit around Rana three.
Prepare the weapon.
[GRUNTS] We will let the human watch.
Captain, please listen to me.
There are over a hundred thousand people down there.
They've done noth [SCREAMS] It is the will of Avis.
Oh, crap! Coja! Chris, I think I can see Earth.
We can see Earth later.
Come on, we got to get out of here.
Come on! Where are we going? Come on! [BEEPING STEADILY] The weapon is ready for launch, Captain.
Go, go, go, go, go, go! Fire.
Ed, are you all right? Yeah.
I'm okay.
So are the kids.
[PANTING] What's going on? Who are you? Okay.
Now, don't be mad.
Commander, there is a ship closing on us; It is a Krill destroyer.
Deflectors up.
Charge all weapons.
They're hailing us.
Put them on.
Kelly, it's us.
Please don't fire.
Ed? God, am I happy to see you.
Well, the feeling's mutual, trust me.
What happened out there? [SIGHS]: It's a long story.
Hey, uh, if somebody could get ahold of about a thousand pounds of aloe vera, that would be terrific.
Well, I'm happy to say you're perfectly healthy.
There's no tissue damage and no signs of UV exposure.
Doctor, if you're through with your examination, I'll take her to the brig.
I was wondering if you'd have the courage to face me again.
I'd like a moment alone with her.
Captain, I think I should stay.
It's fine, Lieutenant.
Wait outside.
I'm sorry.
We had no choice.
Where are the children? Arrangements have been made to return them to their families on Krill.
And what about me? I don't know.
But I can promise you that you won't be harmed.
You will forgive me if I have difficulty believing that from the man who just killed my crew.
Our mission was in the interest of peace.
But your crew was going to murder a hundred thousand people.
What the hell else could I have done? Why did you save the children? They're kids.
With their whole lives ahead of them.
They're not my enemies.
After what they saw you do today they will be.
They will be.