The Other Two (2019) s01e06 Episode Script

Chase Shoots a Music Video

1 I don't think this is a good idea.
Cary, you're gonna be on TV.
You can't have little tufts of hair above your crack.
No, I mean, I don't think I should do the show at all.
What? You got asked to be on "Watch What Happens Live.
" Jesus, it's the best show on TV.
Yeah, but I got asked to be the shirtless bartender.
I just stand behind the real guests and laugh at their jokes.
I thought we were gonna stop being snobby about things.
They saw you in Chase's video.
They asked you to do the show.
You do it.
I guess it is good to be seen or Plus you can make connections.
Andy Cohen gets legit people.
- Meryl Streep did it.
- Whoa, really? Yeah, she was on with one of Lisa Vanderpump's dogs.
I wonder who my guests are tonight.
I'm already looking it up.
Okay, your Meryl is oh, Patrick Wilson.
Oh, cool, he was in "Fargo.
" I love him.
You know, I actually went to the same theater school as his cousin.
Okay, and your dog is children's book author Pat Dubek? [door rumbles] Guess who's gonna be on "Watch What Happens Live"? I love my year of yes.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
Okay, everybody, listen up.
Gather round.
Hold the work.
The director would like to say a few words before we start.
Oh, hey, gang.
Uh, sorry I can't be there.
I'm in Hawaii directing the new "Jurassic World" movie.
But I fucking love money, so I'm also gonna direct this little music video real quick.
Let's get the product placement stuff out of the way first.
Okay, we need ChaseDreams to set.
Anybody have eyes on ChaseDreams? Come on, eight.
Come on, nine.
Push it, baby.
You are a god.
Come on.
This is Chase's assistant.
I'm I'm bringing him in now.
Oh, we need two more minutes.
We're trying to get his pecs to pop.
He's 13.
I don't think his pecs can pop.
And why does he suddenly need pecs? Because, Brooke, look, we did sweet.
We did gay.
- Now he's a fuck boy.
- Ew, don't call him that.
Come on, clench.
If you crap, I want it to have to fight its way out.
Come on.
Ugh, this guy sucks.
I can't believe I have to have sex with him.
- You don't.
- No, he's very Dom and very hot, so, unfortunately, I do.
Good, all right.
Guys, we need ChaseDreams.
And make sure he's wearing the bracelet.
This is Chase's assistant.
I'm bringing him now, and we actually decided necklace.
- Okay, here we go.
And five, six - I love having a walk.
Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, whip, pull, yes, yes.
Oh, shit.
Awesome.
How you doing? You excited? Oh, I'm so nervous I could barf.
- I just hope I don't mess up tonight.
- Don't be nervous.
You literally can't mess up "Watch What Happens Live.
" Yeah, well, at least I'll have you next to me.
Well, behind you, but yeah.
It'll be nice to hang out.
I feel like you've been so busy since you moved here.
Okay, I gotta run.
Ugh, you're so lucky you don't have to wear clothes tonight.
Yes, I feel very, very lucky.
Hi, um, I'm looking to get jacked fast.
Do you have a gym membership? No, uh, but it's kind of an emergency.
I'm gonna be the bartender on "Watch What Happens Live" 'cause, just it's good to be seen.
Okay, yeah, no, totally.
I did that last week.
Oh, are you an actor too? Yeah.
Well, no.
I met Andy at a rag & bone and he just asked me.
Oh.
Good, good, good, good, good.
Okay, you're chillin' on your car.
Good, yeah, you're loving your watch.
Put it a little closer to your face.
Okay, like, but do it naturally.
Hold it like you'd hold your watch close to your face on your car.
Good.
Even the walls should stink Oh, my God.
Brooke Dubek? Genevieve Kim.
We used to dance together at SAB.
Oh, hi, yeah.
Are you dancing in your brother's video? I thought you stopped after you broke your ankle - a long time ago.
- Yeah, I did.
I, um, I'm actually here because I'm I'm his I'm his manager.
Yeah, I'm a really big-time manager now.
- That is so cool.
- Yeah, my life is very cool.
We need Chase's assistant to set.
We've got a snack emergency.
Oh, I don't know why they gave this to a manager.
[radio clatters] Anyway, how are you? I saw on Facebook you did a gig in Paris.
- Yeah.
- So fun.
I bet it was really rainy, though.
No, no, it was really, really sunny.
Anybody got eyes on Chase's assistant? I repeat, we have a snack emergency.
Where is this dumb bitch? Brooke, why is your walkie on the ground? They're calling you on set.
We have a snack emergency.
I'm gonna head back to holding.
The choreographer is a disaster.
Just be glad you don't have to deal with that anymore, right? [laughs weakly] "Be glad you don't have to deal with that anymore.
" Asshole.
- [intense music] - [exhales] Pardon me, sir.
Nope.
I think this one's broken.
It's been one minute? You have a great day as well.
Finished already? Huh? No, uh, no.
No, I just thought there might be some, uh I thought there might be heavier weights out here.
Hi, hello.
Um, but I'm just gonna make do with the lighter ones that are inside.
[clears throat] You hiding from the weights too? - Care bear.
- Lance? Okay, we don't know what some of these products are actually gonna be yet, so just pretend you're watching the coolest movie that you've ever seen.
Now it's a scary movie.
Now it's a funny movie.
Now it's a dating website.
Now it's a Christian dating website.
Yep, all right.
Now it's "Chicago Med.
" Now "Chicago Fire.
" Now "Chicago PD.
" Good, one of those should work.
- [bell rings] - God, I love money.
Check the gate on whatever that was.
Turn around.
Let's get Chase to wardrobe.
[laughs] Excuse me, Genevieve.
Oh, hey, Brooke.
I was just telling the girls how we used to dance together.
I know what you were saying, that you're so much better than me because I'm my little brother's assistant and you're still dancing in Paris while it's sunny.
Well, guess what? I might not be a dancer anymore, but I'm happy, yeah, because I have purpose, I have direction, and most importantly, my toes are back to normal.
- So you take your - [sobs] Oh, my God.
Your toes are that bad? Okay, you know how people always talk about how they want to look like a million bucks? Well, now you can also sound like a dollar.
- Oh.
- You see? - Whoa, cool, very cool.
- Come on, man.
Hey, yo, your mom texted me.
You got asked to be on "Watch What Happens Live.
" - That is dope, bro.
- Yeah, yeah.
That's the best show on TV, I feel.
That's what a lot of people keep saying.
- Um, wait, you text my mom? - All the time.
Yo, did you know that she wrote a children's book? I feel like your mom is really making the most - out of this Chase sitch.
- Yes, she is.
I'm trying to as well.
I guess I just I'm not a "shirtless on TV" type of guy.
- What? - That take a lot of Care bear, come on, man.
You sexy as fuck, dude.
- No.
- Come on.
Come on.
- Do a spin for me.
- Huh? - Get up and do a spin for me, bro.
- I really I'm fine.
Get up and do a spin for me, seriously.
- [scoffs] - Come on, let me see this.
Okay, okay.
Give me a little of this.
Uh Okay, you're thin but you're tight.
Thank you.
Now if you shave those little butt tufts, I think you'll be good to go.
Oh, yeah, uh, Brooke got most of those, and I think she shaved off a mole.
- I've been bleeding.
- All right, man, listen to me.
[whispering] You are a beautiful man and your body is tight.
Say it.
I am a beautiful man and my body is toight.
Good.
And, listen, if you're really not feeling yourself, just do what Brooke does before every vacation: say you're gonna work out for two months and then just get a haircut and a spray tan on the way to the airport.
Later, Care.
[funky music] Andy Cohen's got the 411 King, king of midnight fun MC AC Hey, everybody, it's Andy Cohen.
I'm here in the Bravo Clubhouse with two guests who put the dish in distinguished.
He's starring as Lord Licorice in this summer's biggest blockbuster, "Candy Land," Patrick Wilson.
Whoo-hoo.
Hi, Andy, how are you? Great to see you.
And she's the mom of ChaseDreams and the author of the new children's book "DolphinDreams," Pat Dubek.
I'm so excited to be here.
Hi, Andy.
I'm so happy to see you.
I got to say, I am obsessed with your son.
The two of us should collab.
You should.
On what? Speaking of sons, your other son is bartending for us tonight.
Say hi to Cary Dubek.
Hi, I'm an actor.
And what have you got for us tonight, Mr.
Actor? Oh, uh, I didn't I didn't really prepare anything, but I guess I guess I can do "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
" We must be born with an intuition of mortality.
You know what, I actually meant what cocktail are you serving tonight? Oh, uh But that was still very good, honey.
- Yeah, that was great.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I like your fancy new hair.
Oh, no, the this isn't new.
This is this is just my hair.
I know, but I saw you this morning.
It definitely looked different.
Oh, my God.
It's like I'm still living paycheck to paycheck.
I can barely pay rent.
That gig in Paris, we all had to pay for our own travel.
God, I love hearing this.
I mean, oh, girl.
And my feet, they are bad.
Every time I post a fun pic of them by the pool, it gets flagged as inappropriate content.
Oh, sorry, that's me.
It's just that, um, your toes aren't supposed to point at each other.
And I'm 30, which is, like, you know, old for a dancer.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
W-w-what are your passions? - I like to travel.
- Okay.
Maybe I could travel across the country, be a travel agent travel writer travel photographer.
Now, Patrick, I heard on "Candy Land" you had sort of a running prank with Margot Robbie.
Yeah, yeah, okay, so Margot, she plays Princess Lolly.
- She hates sour cream.
- Uh-oh.
So anytime she left her coffee out, I'd put sour cream in it.
- [laughter] - You little prankster.
What? Uh, uh, you you little prankster.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yes.
I am.
Now, Pat, let's talk about your book.
I have a copy right here.
Oh, no, that's not my book.
Oh, wait, yes, that is my book.
I'm sorry.
It came out great.
Now, what's the book about? Well, Andy, it's seven thick pages.
It's about a little dolphin from Ohio who posts a video on DolphinTube and then becomes a famous dolphin singer.
Ooh, is it based on anything? Why, yes, Patrick Wilson, it is based on my son Chase.
I know, I know.
I'm just I was joking.
Oh.
[laughs] - That's funny.
That's really good.
- What? Um, nothing.
It's I was just trying to connect.
Okay, when we come back, our guests are gonna take some audience questions.
Ooh, fun.
Even Cary? Uh, no, just the two of you.
Oh, sorry, honey.
- It's - We'll be right back.
Or maybe I could be in the music industry.
I could be a rapper.
You know, like a rap critic.
Oh, my God, is this what I sounded like? You know what, I can do anything.
The world is my oyster.
I'm gonna try oysters.
They are delicious.
They're fine.
They're bad.
Listen, Genevieve, you don't have to know exactly what you want to do, like, in this car.
But if you want to make a change, you should.
Starting over at 30 is scary, trust me, but it's worth it if you're not happy.
And, hey, I'm here for you.
- Really? - Yeah, well, right now, I am.
I don't want to exchange numbers or anything.
You know what? You're right.
I am gonna change my life.
- Yes, girl.
- I'm gonna start over.
Uh, slay, bitch.
Thanks, Brooke.
Tell them I left.
Wait, what? Okay, um, I'd kill Evans, marry Pratt, F Hemsworth.
Okay, our next question is from Angie in St.
Louis, - and it's for you, Pat.
- Oh! "Hey, Pat, how do you juggle being a mother and an author? Is there a Mr.
Dreams to lighten the load?" - Do I look in the camera? - Sure.
Um, no, um, he actually passed away kind of recently.
He had cancer.
- Oh, fuck.
- I am so sorry to hear that, Pat.
Well, uh, that's all the time we have.
Thank you to Patrick Wilson.
His movie's out Friday.
Pat Dubek's book is on shelves now.
- And our bartender, Cary.
- Hey, hang on.
- That's it for us, everybody.
- Hey, hang on, Andy.
Cary, you're an actor, right? You got anything you want to promote? Oh, uh, thanks, Patrick.
Um, n-nothing right now.
But that was very sweet of you, Patrick.
All right, that's it for now.
Good night, everybody.
[cheers and applause] Okay, dancers up.
Where's the last dancer? Someone said she quit to be a rap critic.
Well, why don't we just do it without her? We can't.
She's right next to the fuck boy to Chase.
Okay, is there anyone else who can fill in? Seven is an unlucky number.
Can we find someone to fill in? Ugh.
- I can do it.
- I can do it.
- Oh, sorry, I just - Oh, sorry, I thought I would I watched rehearsal so I know, like, the moves.
You know what, Carl? I'm gonna take this one.
Brooke Dubek's gonna dance.
[overlapping chatter] Hi, Cary.
Wasn't that so much fun? Oh, don't forget to give them your mic.
They didn't give me one.
Mom, why did you say Dad died of cancer? What do you mean? That's what we decided to tell Chase.
Yeah, Chase, not the whole viewing audience of "Watch What Happens.
" Well, I just figured Chase is gonna be watching it later so - Did I mess up? - [sighs] No, no, it's fine.
The show isn't really live.
- I'll figure it out.
- Okay, great, thanks, honey.
I really have to run.
I have a very big meeting with Chase's team to talk about my next book.
You have another book idea? Yes, it's gonna be about a dolphin mom who goes on a talk show.
Bye.
Okay, shit.
Okay, all the dancers set? Track, please.
And Mahalo, dude.
And action.
Dance all day Dance all night Dance until we don't smell right Dance until we stink, stink, stink, stink Ain't a party till you reek So dance until you stink, stink, stink, stink Make your jeans smell for a week Dance until you Even the walls should stink - Never take - Cut, everybody take five.
[bell rings] Thanks, bud.
- My, Brooke, I'm impressed.
- Thanks.
[winded] I was, like, as good as them.
Sure.
I'm surprised you volunteered.
I thought the video was "too sexy.
" Well, at first, I was a little worried because it's called "Stink.
" Then I saw the choreography and I was like, - "It's not that bad.
" - [chuckles] Yeah.
Okay, dancers, let's change into second looks.
Time for the hardcore grinding shots.
What? [knocks on door] Hi, um, I was wondering if we could edit a small thing out of tonight's show.
I can't edit out your nipples, kid.
No, I wasn't, um I wasn't talking about my nipples, although now I am worried about them.
Listen, we can't edit anything without Andy's approval, and he's already in Barbados.
How? It's been 20 minutes.
He just is.
Okay, gosh.
Hey, how'd it go? - How was Andy? - He was nice.
He told Mom he and Chase should collab.
- On what? - That's not why I'm calling, though.
Mom said Dad died of cancer.
- On the show? - Yeah.
Okay, don't worry about it.
- I'll take care of it.
- How? I don't know, I'll figure something out.
It's what I do now.
How was bartending? I think bad.
I just stood half-naked behind mom all night.
Yep, can't imagine what that's like.
All right, let's do the grinding.
Cary, I gotta go.
Okay, cue playback.
And action.
This goes out to all my stinky boys and stinky girls If you're stinking with me, put your hands up - Awesome.
- Oh, my God.
Your body is too stinky - Love the way - Jesus Christ.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Yep, he's 13.
He's 13.
He's 13.
Ain't a party till you reek So dance until you stink - Oh, hey.
- Hey, fun show.
Yeah, yeah.
Thanks for trying to include me at the end.
I felt so stupid back there.
No, no, no, come on.
We're all actors, all gotta hustle, right? Totally, yeah.
Uh, this is crazy, but I think I went to the same theater school as your cousin.
- Really? - Yeah.
- [elevator dings] - Small world.
Yeah.
Oh, crap, you know, I forgot my headphones.
- You take it, though.
- Okay.
- Nice to meet you, though.
- Oh, yeah, nice to meet you.
[sighs] Oh, God.
Now, Patrick, I heard on "Candy Land" you had sort of a running prank with Margot Robbie.
Aw, look at your little nipples.
- You're so cute.
- No, I'm not.
Okay, I know you're not gonna believe me, but you come off very endearing.
- Mm-hmm.
- No.
Also, you look hot.
I mean, you're literally up Patrick Wilson's ass, but - He was actually very nice.
- He was.
Oh, my God, I'm so sore.
Did it make you sad that you weren't still dancing, Brooky? Um, no, actually.
I like what I'm doing.
Plus if I had kept dancing, I'd be starting over now anyway so I guess in some ways, I got a head start.
- That's beautiful.
- Thanks, Mom.
No, I mean the top that I'm wearing.
I chose the right one.
Yeah, you look great.
Oh, and I guess congrats on the book that appeared out of nowhere.
Oh, thank you.
"How do you juggle being a mother Oh, no, this is the part that I messed up.
Is there a Mr.
Dreams to lighten the load?" Um, no, um, he actually passed away.
Well, uh, that's all the time we have.
- [gasps] - Thank you to Patrick Wilson.
Oh, Cary, you fixed it.
Thank you so much.
Oh, no, don't thank me.
Thank Brooke.
I told you I'd take care of it.
Um, but, Mom, I think maybe now we should talk about Dad.
Yeah, Mom, maybe it's time to tell Chase the truth.
Oh, yeah, yeah, but not now.
I'm just guys, I'm so tired from my big day with Andy.
[yawns] Hit the hay.
But soon, yeah.
Okay, good night, guys.
[kisses] I love you.
Okay.
How did you get that edited out? Well, Andy wanted to collab with Chase, so let's just say I found a way to make that happen.
Good night.
I do look hot.
[languid hip-hop music] Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man Bake me a party as dope as you can I've been a lot of places Partied in Miami, Argentina, and Ibiza too Never leave the dance floor Always find me sweating till the morning With my whole dream crew We dance all day, dance all night Dance until we don't smell right Dance until we stink, stink, stink, stink Ain't a party till you reek So dance until you stink, stink, stink, stink Make your jeans smell for a week Dance until you No need to drink Just dance until you Even the walls should stink Never take a shower Don't have time to wash my body When I'm twerking all night long And, man, I'm getting sour But the ladies love it When my body smells all jank and wrong My pits smell wrong My neck smells wrong My whole body smells wrong That's because I Stink, stink, stink, stink Okay, as we all go up, let's just remember that he's 13.
Just think of him as your little brother.
Okay, well, your family is not like mine.
Does this make you uncomfortable? Okay, good.
Hi, everyone! Thanks for joining us, this is what is it called? The Other Show.
[upbeat electronic music] Hey everyone, thanks for joining us on "The Other Show".
Today we're talking about episode six.
And we're here with Helene and Drew as always, - and Molly Shannon who plays Pat! - Hi, Molly.
- MOLLY: Hello, so happy to be here.
- [all laughing] This is so This is like my dream of being an actress, - like, on a show - What do you mean? - With a couch, talking.
- [all laugh] [Sarah] That's why you got into this.
- Yeah, kind of.
- [Sarah] To sit on a couch.
[all laugh] Guess who's going to be on "Watch What Happens Live"? I love my year of yes.
Was it weird to, like, shoot "Watch What Happens Live" in character, or no? - Uh, that was a little weird, - CHRIS: Yeah.
It's interesting, because I've hardly ever done that, - CHRIS: Yeah.
- So it's very strange, cause in real life I get nervous as myself, if I do a talk show.
That does feel strange, cause you're not yourself, - So you don't feel as nervous.
- CHRIS: Yeah.
And you're sitting next to Patrick Wilson, - playing himself, - [Sarah laughs] but you're in character? - It's bizarre! - So weird! He was really nice.
Hi, um, I'm looking to get jacked, fast.
Do you have a gym membership? No, uh, but it's kind of an emergency, I'm going to be the bartender on "Watch What Happens Live", cause, just it's good to be seen, Okay, yeah, no, totally.
I did that last week.
You've been on Watch What Happens Live, too, - but as the bartender, right? - Yes.
- You have? - Yes! - But you weren't wearing clothes.
- What? I was wearing clothes.
I had, like, on a jacket, like buttoned up to my neck.
Like, I was like [yells softly] I could not remember that Guildenstern, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern line, because I was so nervous, like, it was just like sense memory of being behind the bartender like thing again, I was like oh, I'm nervous again! [laughs] It was very funny, cause even in between takes, when people would be talking, or giving notes or something, you were always just standing back there, by yourself in a little bow tie, - just still there.
- [all laughing] Yeah, I was trying to conserve warmth, and also, like, you had said, like, hey, we don't have much time in there, so any time we're in between, - just like - No, I wasn't rushing the actors.
You had all the time in the world! How you doing, you excited? Oh, I'm so nervous I could barf! I just hope I don't mess up tonight.
Don't be nervous, you literally can't mess up "Watch What Happens Live".
Molly, your character in particular, is like super starstruck, I guess.
Like, are there people, to this day that you, Molly Shannon, would still be starstruck around? Or no.
- Yes.
Definitely.
- There are? - Oh, yeah! - That you haven't met, or you've met them and still like I met them and I still feel starstruck.
- CHRIS: Who? - Like, Angelina Jolie.
- And you've met her? - [all laughing] HELENE: You've met Angelina? Every time you're around Angelina you're starstruck.
And I get starstruck for Housewives, too.
Like I said, like, I bumped into Shannon Beador at the LAX Airport.
And I was like [gasp loudly] It's like the gates opened up, [laughing] like I get very excited! I'm obviously a big Molly fan - Yeah.
- and I was like, if if during the pilot when we were filming, I was like, if it ever looks like the person acting across from Molly - is just a big fan of hers, - [laughing] - and is smiling huge, just tell me.
- [Molly laughing] Cause I felt like I was just kind of like Dance all day Dance all night Dance until we don't smell right Dance until we Stink, stink, stink, stink Yeah, I, uh, I was told that there would be dancing in this music video, and they were like, there's going to be a rehearsal, and it sort of sounded super casual.
And so I was like, um, okay so, I guess I have to learn this dance, and they weren't really telling me the time, they made it seem like it was going to be nothing.
And I showed up for the rehearsal and I was like [gasps loudly] this is real! And then all of the girls that did that music video, all of the dancers are so good, Yeah, they're amazing.
And I was like, God, all of you guys are so good, I feel like I'm in a Beyoncé video, and Cat, the choreographer, went, Oh, these girls do dance for Beyoncé! And I was like [groans] and I walked out one door of the rehearsal room, and like, came back in the other door and was like, I'm ready to start again.
Did it make you sad that you weren't still dancing, Brookie? Um, no, actually, I like what I'm doing.
Plus, if I had kept dancing, I'd be starting over now anyways.
So, I guess in some ways I got a head start.
- That's beautiful.
- Thanks, Mom.
No, I mean the top that I'm wearing.
I really am like Pat.
Let's be honest, - Are you? - No! - Like, 10%? 20%? - Values - Values.
- Values.
- Values.
- Yeah.
[laughing] Values? [laughing] What are Pat's values? Family? - MOLLY: Family.
Family.
- CHRIS: Family.
Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, and spirituality.
- Yeah.
I think I was going to say, just the way she's positive about life and open, - Yeah.
- I feel like that too, I try to, I think I'm like that.
- CHRIS: Yeah.
- I relate to her.
We talked about that in the writers room, that we like about your character, or hopefully what we were trying to do was not have her be like a stage mom.
It's just sort of like, sure, I love my son, and everyone in America is saying they love him too, so I guess I love America.
- I love this, this is great, like, yes - [all laugh] - like just saying yes to things.
- Yes.
Has anyone done a year of yes? Or like, made a conscious effort to be like, this year I'm going for it.
I think I do, like, every January, and then by like, February 2nd, I'm like, I can't remember, I don't know.
I was going to try to be more positive in 2018, and I made it to like, May.
[laughs] - That's when we started shooting! - [all laughing] Mom, why did you say dad died of cancer? What do you mean? That's what we decided to tell Chase.
Yeah, Chase, not the whole viewing audience of "Watch What Happens".
Well, I just figured, Chase is going to be watching it later, so Did I mess up? Just in general, I love the idea of a woman This isn't so much me cause I'm married, but I love a woman having a very happy chapter two.
Where they, you know Her husband passed away, but she's really like alive, and so full without, kind of a nice chapter two at a nice age, I just think that's so true to life, and I see a lot of women really happy that way, - Yeah.
- Kind of reinventing - themselves maybe after a divorce, - Yeah.
or a death of a spouse, in a very positive way.
- Yeah, totally.
- I just love that.
- Well, Molly, thank you for being here! - It's my pleasure! Thank you for telling us about Celebrity.