The Patrick Star Show (2021) s01e05 Episode Script

Squidina's Little Helper/I Smell a Pat

Hi! I'm Patrick Star
and I live with my parents!
This is my dad.
This is my mom!
This is my sister!
She's shy.
This is my grandpa!
This is my room!
And this
This is my show!
(Squidina snoring)
I'm ready to get
this show on the road!
Oh, hot, hot, hot, hot!
Hm. Mm-hm.
(Banging gong)
Morning, big bro!
Morning, little sis!
It's almost show time!
Babies and gentlemen!
Oh, that's us.
Welcome to The Patrick Show,
Me is Patrick!
Squidina, I'm done with
the wild animal bit.
On it.
None of that on my set,
do you hear?
Good boy.
Hey, big bro.
Did that sea bear hurt you?
I don't think so.
Why do you ask?
Look, you promised me 5000
clowns on Friday's Patrick Show.
So, you're going to get me
5000 clowns on Friday
for The Patrick Show.
I'm not clowning around!
I'm getting too old for this,
Mrs. Stitchy Bottoms.
Another great show in the can,
huh, sis?
Squidina, what's the matter?
The Patrick Show every day
has got me burning
the candle at both ends.
Yeah, I hear you.
I think I need an extra
pair of hands around here.
Well, why didn't you say so?!
Here you go!
I meant we should
hire an intern.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's what I meant, too.
My hands! You found them!
Thank you, son. Thank you.
Now back to business.
Oh, yeah. That's the stuff.
I'm here for
the intern interview.
I'm sweet.
(Chuckling creepily)
I said, next!
Oh, I didn't see
you there, um
Fenton Dinkle.
Right, Fenton.
Well, I see here that
you are younger than me
and shorter than me.
According to kid law,
that means you have
to do what I say.
I like TV.
Well, that settles it.
Welcome aboard.
Your training
starts tomorrow morning.
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
(Squidina snoring)
Ooh, hot!
(Fenton laughing)
(Both laughing)
(All laughing)
This is the operation's board.
Each lever performs
a necessary function
to keep The Patrick Show
running smoothly.
This one, for example,
tosses the chainsaws to Patrick.
And this one moves
him to his next mark.
What's this one do?
That's our slap stick lever.
We try not to overuse that one.
Dead air?
We need a new segment asap!
Time for an idea brick!
Puppet ham!
Sounds like we're doing
a puppet show. Follow me.
This secret crawlspace
runs all over the house.
It lets me stay off camera
while still getting me
where I need to go.
Who's a hungry boy?
Dig in so you can
grow up big and bristly.
The puppets are this way.
Hello! Wake up you lazy puppets!
What's your guys' deal!?
Well, hello there, Patrick.
Welcome back to
the kingdom of Hamdonia.
Well, it's about time
you got here, King Porkchop.
I'm hungry!
You're always hungry.
Well, make with
the meat for my mouth.
Fine. Aloysius!
Psst! Fenton!
Oh, okay.
Eat the meat!
Ow! Hey!
You're pushier
than I remember.
Are you an imposter?
Am I an imposter?!
I don't know
what's real anymore!
Thanks, that's it for
The Patrick Show.
(Sighing, mumbling)
And that, Fenton,
is how you make a Patrick Show.
Any questions?
Yeah, who's Patrick?
Oh, yeah! That guy.
(All laughing)
(Squidina snoring)
What the shrimp?!
Someone stole
my production equipment!
They stole my
soiled doily collection!
They stole my face!
Who would do such a thing?
Good morning, Bikini Bottom,
and welcome to
The Crabina Show,
starring my big sister,
I'm Crabina.
He stole The Patrick Show,
and everything else we own, too!
Well, we had a good run.
I'm going to take a floor nap.
A nap? We Stars don't
give up that easy!
Did I give up when
dinosaurs stole my lunch money?
I don't know.
Did I give up when
the barbarian horde
swept across the ocean,
and stole my lunch money?
I don't know.
Did I give up
when Martians invaded
and beamed me
onto their spaceship
and stole my lunch money?!
I don't know!
Of course I didn't!
How do you think
I bought this hot Sammy?
Now, let's go
get your stuff back!
Time for some pillaging!
That's it, get his scent.
Lead us right to Fenton.
(Growling, snarling)
You did it! Good boy, Ouchie.
Time to show Fenton who's boss.
(All shouting)
He's gotta he in here somewhere!
Find him!
(Laughing, applauding)
We're here for our stuff,
Take it, the network
saw our show this morning,
and picked us up
for six seasons.
Yeah, The Crabina Show
is going global.
Besides, your stuff is
all smashed up anyway.
Great plan you had there,
Ah, don't blame me
just 'cause you can't
pillage responsibly.
Welcome back to
The Crabina Show!
(Stars laughing)
(Squidina groaning)
You can never have
too much slapstick!
What's the matter, sis?
Are you sad that Fenton stole
our ideas and used them to
achieve television success
beyond our wildest dreams?
Maybe a little.
Well, I won't stand for it.
TV should only make you happy.
Come here, boy.
(Growling, snarling)
Sic 'em, Tinkle!
(Both laughing)
Now, that's good television.
hello there.
Welcome to another episode of
Patsterpiece Theatre.
Today we'll hear the story of--
This book's too hot to handle.
Now, where did I put
today's story book?
(Snapping fingers)
Ooh, nope. That's a textbook.
Hm. Hm, hm.
I hate audio books.
Where is that dumb book?
Oh, aren't you cute?
Don't worry, me! I've got you!
There I go.
Glad I bought
that self-help book.
Found it!
Today's story is
called Downtown Patty,
the Thrillifick Tale
of a Krabby Patty
Looking for Love.
Hm, boy meets grill.
Where is that freaky
funky smell coming from!?
That is horrible.
Not the right smell, though.
This smell is rank
with a touch of stank.
Nope, the smell is
more like a rotten egg
filtered through
wild strawberries.
Hm, close but it needs more
gorgonzola and seaweed.
Ah, phooey!
I can't host
the show until I know
where that freaky funky
smell is coming from!
What smell?
You're right,
we've got to find it!
Welcome to another episode of
Patrick's Stench Safari.
I am mere seconds away
from discovering the source
of that freaky funky smell.
And I lost it!
Oh, nose caddy!
What do you suggest, nose caddy?
I think this calls
for the Durante.
Ooh, I smell it! Follow me!
(Both laughing)
Hi, kids.
Want a taste of my dad stew?
Ah, this doesn't smell right.
Golly, did I forget
an ingredient?
(Both sniffing)
It's missing that
month-old leftovers aroma.
How's this?
(Both sniffing)
Needs more dirty laundry umami.
What about now?
Perhaps a pinch of trash.
(All gasping)
This has got to be it.
Darn! That's not it!
I guess we lost the trail.
This nose must be on the fritz.
While Patrick
finds another nose,
enjoy this educational classic.
Hi, I'm Perch Perkins,
and today I'll be your guide
through the wonderful world
of snouts, snoots,
and schnozzes.
That's right, kids. Noses!
Follow me!
We begin in the factory
that's inside everyone's nose.
The olfactory.
Here, trained workers test
each sniff for smelliness.
We end our tour
in the snot foundry,
where finely crafted
boogers are made.
This is Perch Perkins,
reminding you you can
pick your friends
and you can pick your nose,
but you can't pick
your friend's nose.
You're in the middle.
Excellent addition
to your booger box.
Now that you're done
digging for gold,
how about we find that smell?
I think the freaky funky smell
is coming from Grandpat's room.
It is possible.
Old folks collect lots of
interesting smells
over the years.
You're probably smelling
my drumstick hearing aid!
Don't think so.
Maybe my olive loaf shin guards?
My pasta salad insoles?
Phooey. The funky smell
isn't here either!
My trouser toast is ready!
(Trumpeting, sniffing)
Time to try
the stinkiest place of all.
The upstairs bathroom.
Tell Ouchie I love him!
You can do it, brother.
I'm too dumb to die!
Patrick Star, what did I tell
you about teasing the toilet?
Oh, I was just trying
to find the funky smell.
Well, it's not Tinkle.
I give him a good
scrub every day.
Time for walkies.
Limburger cheese
and baby powder!
That's our freaky funky smell!
We're getting closer!
Time to go high tech!
(Both laughing)
There it is!
That's strange.
Roses don't stink.
Oh, nice kitty.
Ah! Darn it!
That wasn't it either!
Hold it! I smell something--
Flooded cellar
with a touch of mint.
We must be getting close.
It's coming from
Granny Tentacle's house!
I smell trouble.
Good! Trouble makes great TV.
Well, friends,
we've traced the wild freaky
funky smell to its source.
The dangerous den
of the wild granny.
(Doorbell ringing)
Oh, what brings you
precious youngsters
over for a visit?
For the 13th time this week.
We're hunting an elusive
aroma that seems to be
emanating from your house.
Nope! Not here!
It's not here, either.
Mm! Maybe it's coming from
this ball of fossilized candy.
Nope. Not here.
I smell it!
The smell is
coming from the oven!
(Both gasping)
Is that what I think it is?
I'm going to be sick!
Granny Tentacles is a cannibal!
Don't be silly, dearies.
I wouldn't eat anyone
from this neighbourhood.
That's just my
gorgonzola cabbage and eggs
with olives and pickle surprise.
Oh, yeah. I see it now.
I can definitely smell it.
Here, have a delicious
pickled cabbage cookie.
Uh, thanks?
Bye now, you precious darlings.
Live, my grocery Golem!
Have a cookie.
Now, go forth
and crush my enemies!
Case solved, Squidina.
I guess the funky smell
was just Granny's cooking.
Pee-yew! What stinks?

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