The Paynes (2018) s01e28 Episode Script

A Payneful Hunch

Uh - Put it right here, Mr.
C.
- W-w-wait! Right here.
Why you all the way over there? - Come on! - Why you choose way over there? You can do it.
Please and thanks.
Watch out.
- You got it? - [OBJECTS CLATTER.]
Thank you.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
You know what? What? We can do all the clothes for the people over at the laundromat.
Oh, Mr.
C.
, that that would be so, so great.
- Ain't it the truth? - Yeah.
I mean, homeless people need their clothes washed, too.
- Uh - Huh? - Yes, they do.
- You know? And you know what? And this ain't why I did it, but it's just God This is God because we can charge them way more 'cause their clothes are so dirty.
Mr.
C.
, unh-unh.
Unh-unh.
We can't we can't do that.
Why not? They're homeless.
They can't afford it.
Well, if you look at it like that Mr.
C Okay.
Don't you want to do something kind for them? Huh? Mr.
C.
, I can't with you.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know, we can give them Okay, maybe do half price.
- Mr.
C - Nah, that's too much.
Mr.
C 5% off? Hey, you remind me a lot of Ella.
Oh.
- I do? - Yes.
Yeah.
You're just like she was.
You're a lot like her when she was young.
A lot like her.
Two kids? Not married? Yeah, nah, she wasn't out there like that.
What? But, uh I don't mean like that.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Say what you mean.
- What? - What? - Yeah.
- I mean Ella's just got a big heart, always has.
She's got a good heart.
So do you.
Good heart.
Thank you.
I mean, sometimes, I don't feel like that.
I know.
But you do.
Thank you.
Sure.
Oh, you okay.
You are okay.
- And you okay.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Thank you! - Awesome job, sweetie.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
What's goin' on here? Oh.
Hey, Ms.
Joann.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What's up, cuz? Ah.
How are you, Curtis? I'm great.
- I see.
What y'all doin'? - Oh.
I'm just helping her with all this stuff right here.
Huh.
Since when do you like to help? Since I found out how special she is.
Oh, I see.
That right? Come on, Mr.
C.
, you want to go the laundromat and get the - clean up all the clothes? - Yeah? Don't mind if I do, madam.
Oh.
- Well, let's go! - [BOTH LAUGH.]
Don't mind the riff-raff.
See you later, Ms.
Joann.
Yeah, bye.
Bye.
What the hell is going on with them? [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Coming! Ooh, ooh, ooh, Ella dust your house.
Ella, Ella, d Hello! Oooh! Joann.
- Hey! - Uh-uh.
Don't "hey" me.
Oh.
What's wrong with you? Joann, you are supposed to knock, and then wait for somebody to come and open the door when you don't live here.
Oh, I'm sorry.
No, you're not.
You do that all the time.
Well, you shouldn't leave the door unlocked.
The door was locked, Joann.
Was it? Yes.
Then how did I get in? You tell me.
Oh.
I don't know.
Uh-huh.
Well, I can tell you.
- Give it to me.
- What? - Give it to me.
- What? - The key.
- What key? The one you had when this was uncle Robert's house.
- Uh uh - [STAMMERS MOCKINGLY.]
Uh Okay, okay.
Fine! Thank you.
Curtis is so cheap.
He didn't even change the locks.
Well, we will.
- Okay, well - A dice.
You shouldn't treat me that way.
Okay, here we go.
What do you want? I came here to tell you something.
Number two what is it? Now, you know Curtis is my cousin.
Yes.
You know I love him.
Do you? And I would never do anything behind his back.
Okay.
Right there.
What are you trying to say, Joann? - Well - What? This is hard.
Oh, and dramatic.
[GASPS MOCKINGLY.]
Wh spit it out! - Okay.
Okay.
- Go on.
Ella I think Curtis is cheating on you.
[LAUGHS.]
- Yeah! - Okay, let me back that up.
What did you just say? I said I think Curtis is cheating on you! [CHUCKLES.]
That's what I thought you said.
Okay, now I know you're crazy.
- What? - That is impossible.
Why do you say that? Because I know Curtis.
He would never do that.
Well, you sure? Joann, yes, I'm sure.
- I don't know about that.
- Okay, what makes you say that? Uh I had a hunch.
Well your hunch is wrong.
You sure about that? Okay.
Joann, wait a minute now.
Did you see something that you want to tell me about? Um - Just say it! - Oh! Gahh! I saw him and Nyla at the church, and they were really, really, really, very close.
Um, Joann, first of all, Curtis ain't going to no church.
[SCOFFS.]
And second of all, if he was there, he would have a good excuse.
Oh, they were really friendly.
Look, I will agree that they have mended Bridges and they're getting along, and I-I'm glad about it.
I really, really, really am.
It makes for a lot more peace around here.
- Okay, if you say so.
- Yeah, I do.
So All right, well [CHUCKLES.]
Thank you for your hunch.
[CHUCKLES.]
You can go now.
- Okay.
- All right.
All right! Really appreciate you're here.
I can always count on you, Joann.
No.
Ella What? A-aren't you worried about him? Why would I? Well, look how he is with her.
Joann, I know my husband.
Okay? I know him.
But you don't know her.
Well, I know her well enough to know that she wouldn't do that.
Not and live here.
Not and go to sleep here.
- Oh.
- [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, get it? Okay.
Hey, that's what I said, too, when we got that nanny for Ryan.
She swooped right in there and just stole him right from me.
Joann that was your mama.
Now, bye, Joann.
Oh, no, I'm serious, I'm serious! There I was all in love with him, and my mama, she in love we him, too, and Whoo, I don't know.
He took one look at that young thing and he wanted me gone! Gone! Your mama was the young thing? And she wanted me gone.
She wanted me gone, Ella.
I do, too, Joann! - I do, too.
- Okay, okay.
But you know what? Don't say that I didn't warn you when you're up in here all alone and he's left you with that Nyla.
I won't I won't I won't I won't say nothin' to you.
I promise you.
Get on out of here.
[LAUGHTER.]
Oh, my goodness! Ah, again! You're so goofy! I can't with you! You ain't gonna put it on me! You hear me? [LAUGHING.]
I almost tripped! - Ooh! - Yeah! Yeah! What's so funny? - Don't you touch me! - You're so Don't you touch me.
Mr.
he's so hilarious! Uh-huh.
- Yeah? - Okay.
- Bye, Joann.
- Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
Thank you, Joann.
Buh-bye.
[LAUGHS.]
Buh-bye.
[NYLA LAUGHS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Wh-what's so funny? Mr.
C.
is hilarious.
He's so funny.
Unh-unh, don't.
This girl? - Mm-hmm? - Ella, this girl's crazy.
What'd she do, baby? It's so funny! I mean, what happened? [LAUGHS.]
- Mr.
C.
is so hilarious.
He's funny.
- Uh, yeah.
Yeah, you said that to Joann.
- Yeah, but he is! - Yeah.
- Yeah - Anyways.
And I've been laughing with him all all day.
Okay.
It's been all day, too.
- All day.
- Just laughter.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Little question for you.
- All day, huh? - Yeah.
Literally.
Curtis, I thought you were going to the bank to see about that loan.
I did, baby.
I did.
- Nyla went with me.
- Oh, did she? Yeah, then we we made a couple stops.
We went by the church.
- Yeah.
- Uh, church? Ooh.
[LAUGHS.]
Now, that's funny.
[LAUGHS.]
I've been trying to get you to go to church with me for years.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah, Ella, I can't even explain.
It's so much more fun with her.
[CHUCKLES.]
Is that right? Yeah.
Well, what happened? - Well - Is you gonna tell it? Yeah, I'm gonna tell it! Hold on.
Okay, so we were at the If you're gonna tell it, tell it right.
- Okay? - I'm gonna Trust me.
- Yeah, okay.
- Trust her.
Okay Stop.
We were at the church.
Okay, we were at the church, and this guy said, [SCOFFS, GRUNTS.]
"Excuse me!" [LAUGHS.]
That's just how he did it! That's just how he did it, too! - [LAUGHING.]
And then you said - And then I said and then I said You said "Huh? [CHUCKLES.]
Y-you excuse me!" And his face And she sounds just like me! - She sound just like me.
- We were laughing.
It was so funny.
I'll tell y'all, this has been fun.
This is really cracking me up.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- [LAUGHS.]
Oh, my stomach hurts! [LAUGHING.]
I'm gonna go check on my kids.
- Yes.
- Oh, baby! Oh, hey "you 'hey, man'!" [LAUGHS.]
She's gonna check on her kids.
Go check on those kids! Sweet, sweet little rascals.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Yo, hold up! - Uh, I am - Okay! Baby, you know I love them little rascals.
I love them little rascals.
- Yeah - Look here, I'll be right back.
- I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
- All right - Nyla! [LAUGHS.]
Whew.
Mm.
[LAUGHS.]
She crazy.
She is crazy.
[CHUCKLES.]
So [CHUCKLES.]
Hey, baby.
Mm.
Hi.
So, y-you've been in there a while.
Baby, you know them kids.
[CHUCKLES.]
Them kids is [CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
- Curtis - Mm? What's going on? What do you mean? Baby, why are you being so nice to Nyla? Hrm? What do you mean? I mean, you were mad as all get out the other day.
Oh.
[LAUGHS.]
Baby, you know how the lord flips that thing.
Wup! [CHUCKLES.]
- Curtis.
- What? No No, no, no Don't play with me.
I mean, baby, you was tellin' me about all the issues she was going through and that she's going through - Yes.
- the problems and stuff.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I just want to take a different approach.
Maybe I should be a little nicer, is all.
- Oh, you did? - Yeah.
Isn't that what you wanted? Well, yeah, Curtis, it is what I wanted.
Mm.
Okay, good.
I mean [CHUCKLES.]
how nice you gon' be? What? You don't need to be spending all day with her.
What's gotten into you, Ella? Mnh-nhh.
Don't put this on me.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Are you jealous? Of what? Me and Nyla? [CHUCKLES.]
Curtis [LAUGHS.]
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I think you are.
No, no, no, no.
But I'm not.
No, I'm not.
Okay.
Don't lie to me, Ella.
- Curtis, you know I don't lie.
- I know when you're lying.
Unh-unh! Don't do it.
Curtis, I just don't think that it is good for the two of you just to be spending so much time together.
That's it.
- That's all.
- You're jealous.
You're jealous.
- I'm not jealous, Curtis.
- You're jealous, baby, - just go ahead on.
- No, I'm not.
Baby, then why are you sitting up here in your sexy lingerie? - You're jealous.
- Curtis.
Wearing red? Baby, you ain't worn red in in 10 years.
For you.
- Right.
- I'm joking.
[LAUGHS.]
I ain't worried.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay, good.
You think she's gonna take your big daddy, baby? You think she's gonna take big daddy away from you? - Curtis.
- If big daddy wasn't so Baby, you know - Curtis! - What? Come on, now.
Baby, I'm not gonna leave you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Girl, please.
Yeah? Curtis.
You still got a few more miles on you.
I mean, you do fall awful hard, now, but you still got a few good miles on you, now And I know how to make it work.
[LAUGHS.]
I get a lot out of the gas fumes, baby.
Curtis, that is not what I'm worried about.
I'm not worried about that at all.
Then what are you talking about? I'm worried about her becoming too dependent on you.
- That's it.
- Hmm.
Curtis, she has never had a man that she can count on, so I'm just worried about how she will react to that.
That's it.
- That's it? - That Yes.
That's it, baby.
So that's it? So you're not worried about big daddy getting away from you, huh? Not the least little bit? Not the least little bit.
Curtis, baby, I am the only woman who wants you.
- Oh, please, Ella.
- No, really.
You're due for an overhaul but I'll stick with you.
I'm just sayin'.
I'm sorry to tell you.
- Yeah, whatever, baby.
- No, Curtis, I know you Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, okay? I don't mean to hurt your feelings, baby.
- Let me just say - You ain't hurt my feelings! Okay, good.
[CHUCKLES.]
Trust me, you ain't hurt my feelings.
Well, let me just say this to you, baby.
Your player days? They died In the '70s.
That's right.
Excuse me? That's right.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Well, all right.
- You bein' funny, huh? The '70s? You mad? I'm sorry, baby.
I'm just waiting for the punch line, that's all.
- Where's the joke? - There is no joke, baby.
I'm telling you what's up.
'70s, Ella? - I'm sorry, baby.
- Do you know who I am, Ella? [CHUCKLES.]
I'm afraid so, Curtis.
Yes, I do know.
Well, I thought so.
- You mad? - I'm not mad.
Come here, come here, come here.
No, don't touch me.
No, no.
I wasn't trying to touch you.
- I just said come here.
- Mnh-mnh.
You know, come right here.
Big daddy.
I don't know why I took this off.
I'm putting it back on.
- You put your watch back on? - Yeah.
I'm gonna go down and sleep on the sofa.
Are you serious? Yeah, I'm serious.
Ah, you mad.
- Ain't nobody mad.
Come on.
- Your feelings hurt? Ella, please.
Curtis, I'm joking with you.
Yeah, okay.
I mean, baby, okay, it wasn't the '70s, it was the '80s! The '80s, baby.
The '80s.
I'm telling you, right around 1984.
You just went pew down.
I'm tellin' you.
You just stay here, baby.
Curtis.
I'm going downstairs, miss funny.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Come here.
- If you're gonna be funny, people should be laughing.
I'm just playin'.
You've been laughing all day.
- Yeah.
- [LAUGHS.]
"Hey, man!" [DEEP VOICE.]
"I said, 'hey, man!'" Hey, I don't even want to hear it.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Yeah.
Well, all right.
- With with your little red lingerie on.
- Good night, yeah.
Your little your little fuzzy house shoes on.
Yep.
But when I tell you to put it on, you don't want to put it on.
- N - Now you're sitting with it.
Well, enjoy it.
Thank you.
Curtis! Big Big daddy! [LAUGHS.]
Okay, I'm being ridiculous.
Okay, Curtis I'm sorry, baby.
Okay, Curtis, I'm sorry.
Curtis! Okay, let me practice for this.
Okay I'm sorry, Curtis.
I'm sorry, Curtis.
Come on, big d to the a to the d-d-y.
Curtis! All right, I'm not gonna keep calling you.
He already sleeping.
Curtis? Curtis? Baby.
Huh-huh! [CHUCKLES.]
Mm-hmm.
Lullaby and good night Hello.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey, Ms.
Joann.
[CHUCKLES.]
My name is not Joann.
Oh, sorry.
I'm tired.
Yeah, I'm tired, too.
Baby, what's goin' on? You te you know what, wait a minute.
This is how much space I need between you and my husband at all times.
Baby, I thought you wanted us to be close.
[CHUCKLES.]
Not that close.
She's too close, Curtis.
- Now, Ms.
Ella.
- Yes? You know I don't want Mr.
C.
, right? You know she's just like a daughter to me.
I know that.
Because if I thought something was going on, I'd have busted her across head.
Baby, are you jealous? Curtis, I'm not jealous.
I'm smart.

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