The Penguins of Madagascar (2008) s01e01 Episode Script
The Red Squirrel
Making my ice cream Sprinklin' it up.
Now we're addin' a cherry on top.
Mmm.
Eh, less sprinkles next time, okay, Maurice? I'm gonna relax, take a load off.
Oooh, the sun is much sunnier over here.
See? Gonna eat my banana.
Hope no one takes it! Ahhh.
Nicely done, Maurice.
Now peel me a grape.
- But that was - Grape, Maurice.
Grape.
Not lip.
And here's where I last had the camera.
It couldn't just disappear.
B-b-b-but you just can't take Rule number 1: Do not question the king.
Rule number 2 Oooh.
I'll take that.
Private, these sardine smoothies are top notch.
What's your secret? - Love, sir.
I made them with love.
- Love? It's a chemical reaction in the brain inducing bliss.
Highly addictive.
No more love in the smoothies; We gotta stay sharp.
The concrete jungle is an elusive mistress who may call us into action - at any given moment.
- Gimme, gimme, gimme! I said GIMME! What part of "gim" or "me" do you not understand?! I understood the "me" part, like this was caught by me! For me! No! Maurice? Maurice? Where are you and your booty, which is quite large and usually easy to see? Mort, do not scream at my.
.
.
Maurice! He's trapped! Oh, I, well yes, yes.
That is what happens when you question your king's power.
I question nothing! I question why you touch the feet! What have you got to say for yourself now, Maurice? Oh-ho-ho.
You are giving to me the silent treatment.
You think this "no talky" stuff will get to me? Forget it, Maurice.
I, also, can give you the treatment.
Talking to a camera.
This is not normal.
No, no, no.
No more talking.
I am giving him the "shhh" treatment.
- The camera? - Maurice! The cam-era.
Mauuuuuriiiiiiice.
Maurice questioned my kingly authority so now he is trapped inside this magic thingy, which the Sky Spirits gifted to me, the king, from above, up there.
lt's not magic.
lt's a camera.
Here, let me show you.
.
.
lt is a magic king thing, which you will not touch! Do you want to join Maurice in there? Just try me.
Go ahead, make my day, mister.
All right, boys.
Let's leave the madman to his madness.
Spit it out, sad eyes.
The king's giving Maurice the treatment.
He's going to leave him in the magic box.
You have to help get him out.
Pleeeeeease? Your lower mammals brains don't seem to comprendé.
That is a camera, and your little pal is not in it.
But, Skipper, if Maurice isn't here, where is he? Missing! Kowalski? l suggest we enlist Doris the Dolphin to use her echo-location skills to track the missing lemur.
Forget it, Kowalski.
She's useless on land.
Besides, Doris only likes you.
She doesn't "like you" like you.
Now, let's crack this mystery wide open.
We're looking for anything that might be a clue.
Oh, this might be a clue.
Nah, it's just lint.
Kowalski, I said lay off the "love" smoothies! Rico? Hey, mister.
That's evidence.
Scuff marks from a portly lemur.
My guess he stumbled backwards.
But why? Perhaps a localized seismic event of unknown origin.
Or maybe the camera's flash blinded him? Sounds a little preposterous, Private.
But just in case.
.
.
Kowalski, run a temporarily blinded portly lemur scenario, pronto.
Stand right here, Rico.
Mm-mm.
Carry the one Oooh! No, that's too much.
That confirms our target landed in this waste receptacle.
Quel Excelenté! l know exactly what happened.
lnto the can, men.
- Kowalski, coordinates.
- New Jersey.
Ahhh, the Garden State.
l wish we had time to play tourist.
All right, listen up.
We're going to search this dump high and low.
- From the rusted tin can - Skipper, over here.
Wha How did you.
.
.
Nice work, Private.
Happy ending.
Come on, Maurice, don't leave me hanging.
What are you doing here? - We're here to rescue you.
- You mean take me back to the zoo? No way! No how! - We're going for a happy ending here.
- l am happy, now.
l've had it with Julien.
He's been a royal pain in my tail for too long.
"Get me this.
Get me that.
Get me outta there!" - Kowalski, reason with him.
- Ah, reason.
l find reason tedious and boring.
We'll use force.
No! Here, Maurice.
Just to show you that l am the bigger lemur -not in actual pounds, of course, but in the other kind of biggerness, -eat the banana.
Oh, so now it's a hunger strike too, is it? You're not going to get to me.
You're not going to get.
.
.
Eat the banana! This is insane! You are insane! Come on, fifth wheel.
Look sharp! Rico! (out of breath) Gotta rest.
No dice.
We have to be back at the zoo by 0900.
- Which does not give us much time.
- We'll just have to go faster.
There is no way l can go faster.
Oh, I bet the old D-train will change your tune.
The what? Stop looking at me like that! This is not a contest of staring ! And I am shutting up now because you are still getting the "shhh" treatment.
l can't take it anymore! Okay, fine! You win! l was wrong about always being right! And l miss you! l will give anything to get my big-bootied buddy back! - Children.
- Check.
- Bus.
- Check.
- Zoo Brochure.
- And, check.
lt's a field trip! All right, boys, we're almost home.
You know what to do.
- Yeah, but, uh, I don't think I do.
- Don't get smart with me, soldier.
We're not cutting you any slack just 'cause you're the new guy.
Now we break poor Maurice out of his magical prison.
- A little to the left! - My left or your left? Mine, of course.
l am king.
The lefts are all mine, silly Mort.
Okay! Alright, boys.
Commence Operation: Shoot the Moon.
Ooof! 3 degrees north, Skipper.
Kowalski, adjust vector! Rico, stretcher.
Lemur, you're up! l can't take it anymore! You penguins are psychotic! Mort, a little more to the left.
Oh, no! Maurice! l want you back! Come out! Great Sky Spirits, hear my plea! Sounds like somebody's got a case of the pre-launch heebie-jeebies.
(shrugs) I dunno.
Maurice! lt's good to see you, too.
l am so glad you are back! But, where did your head go? Oh, there it is.
- Look, l'll take you over those crazy - Mission accomplished.
As if you had anything to do with it.
The Sky Spirits released Maurice! You rock, Sky Spirits! Why don't you tell him what really happened, rescued mammal.
Rule number 1: Don't question the king, baby.
Private, whip me up one of them "love" smoothies.
I need to unwind.
Guys Little help, please?
Now we're addin' a cherry on top.
Mmm.
Eh, less sprinkles next time, okay, Maurice? I'm gonna relax, take a load off.
Oooh, the sun is much sunnier over here.
See? Gonna eat my banana.
Hope no one takes it! Ahhh.
Nicely done, Maurice.
Now peel me a grape.
- But that was - Grape, Maurice.
Grape.
Not lip.
And here's where I last had the camera.
It couldn't just disappear.
B-b-b-but you just can't take Rule number 1: Do not question the king.
Rule number 2 Oooh.
I'll take that.
Private, these sardine smoothies are top notch.
What's your secret? - Love, sir.
I made them with love.
- Love? It's a chemical reaction in the brain inducing bliss.
Highly addictive.
No more love in the smoothies; We gotta stay sharp.
The concrete jungle is an elusive mistress who may call us into action - at any given moment.
- Gimme, gimme, gimme! I said GIMME! What part of "gim" or "me" do you not understand?! I understood the "me" part, like this was caught by me! For me! No! Maurice? Maurice? Where are you and your booty, which is quite large and usually easy to see? Mort, do not scream at my.
.
.
Maurice! He's trapped! Oh, I, well yes, yes.
That is what happens when you question your king's power.
I question nothing! I question why you touch the feet! What have you got to say for yourself now, Maurice? Oh-ho-ho.
You are giving to me the silent treatment.
You think this "no talky" stuff will get to me? Forget it, Maurice.
I, also, can give you the treatment.
Talking to a camera.
This is not normal.
No, no, no.
No more talking.
I am giving him the "shhh" treatment.
- The camera? - Maurice! The cam-era.
Mauuuuuriiiiiiice.
Maurice questioned my kingly authority so now he is trapped inside this magic thingy, which the Sky Spirits gifted to me, the king, from above, up there.
lt's not magic.
lt's a camera.
Here, let me show you.
.
.
lt is a magic king thing, which you will not touch! Do you want to join Maurice in there? Just try me.
Go ahead, make my day, mister.
All right, boys.
Let's leave the madman to his madness.
Spit it out, sad eyes.
The king's giving Maurice the treatment.
He's going to leave him in the magic box.
You have to help get him out.
Pleeeeeease? Your lower mammals brains don't seem to comprendé.
That is a camera, and your little pal is not in it.
But, Skipper, if Maurice isn't here, where is he? Missing! Kowalski? l suggest we enlist Doris the Dolphin to use her echo-location skills to track the missing lemur.
Forget it, Kowalski.
She's useless on land.
Besides, Doris only likes you.
She doesn't "like you" like you.
Now, let's crack this mystery wide open.
We're looking for anything that might be a clue.
Oh, this might be a clue.
Nah, it's just lint.
Kowalski, I said lay off the "love" smoothies! Rico? Hey, mister.
That's evidence.
Scuff marks from a portly lemur.
My guess he stumbled backwards.
But why? Perhaps a localized seismic event of unknown origin.
Or maybe the camera's flash blinded him? Sounds a little preposterous, Private.
But just in case.
.
.
Kowalski, run a temporarily blinded portly lemur scenario, pronto.
Stand right here, Rico.
Mm-mm.
Carry the one Oooh! No, that's too much.
That confirms our target landed in this waste receptacle.
Quel Excelenté! l know exactly what happened.
lnto the can, men.
- Kowalski, coordinates.
- New Jersey.
Ahhh, the Garden State.
l wish we had time to play tourist.
All right, listen up.
We're going to search this dump high and low.
- From the rusted tin can - Skipper, over here.
Wha How did you.
.
.
Nice work, Private.
Happy ending.
Come on, Maurice, don't leave me hanging.
What are you doing here? - We're here to rescue you.
- You mean take me back to the zoo? No way! No how! - We're going for a happy ending here.
- l am happy, now.
l've had it with Julien.
He's been a royal pain in my tail for too long.
"Get me this.
Get me that.
Get me outta there!" - Kowalski, reason with him.
- Ah, reason.
l find reason tedious and boring.
We'll use force.
No! Here, Maurice.
Just to show you that l am the bigger lemur -not in actual pounds, of course, but in the other kind of biggerness, -eat the banana.
Oh, so now it's a hunger strike too, is it? You're not going to get to me.
You're not going to get.
.
.
Eat the banana! This is insane! You are insane! Come on, fifth wheel.
Look sharp! Rico! (out of breath) Gotta rest.
No dice.
We have to be back at the zoo by 0900.
- Which does not give us much time.
- We'll just have to go faster.
There is no way l can go faster.
Oh, I bet the old D-train will change your tune.
The what? Stop looking at me like that! This is not a contest of staring ! And I am shutting up now because you are still getting the "shhh" treatment.
l can't take it anymore! Okay, fine! You win! l was wrong about always being right! And l miss you! l will give anything to get my big-bootied buddy back! - Children.
- Check.
- Bus.
- Check.
- Zoo Brochure.
- And, check.
lt's a field trip! All right, boys, we're almost home.
You know what to do.
- Yeah, but, uh, I don't think I do.
- Don't get smart with me, soldier.
We're not cutting you any slack just 'cause you're the new guy.
Now we break poor Maurice out of his magical prison.
- A little to the left! - My left or your left? Mine, of course.
l am king.
The lefts are all mine, silly Mort.
Okay! Alright, boys.
Commence Operation: Shoot the Moon.
Ooof! 3 degrees north, Skipper.
Kowalski, adjust vector! Rico, stretcher.
Lemur, you're up! l can't take it anymore! You penguins are psychotic! Mort, a little more to the left.
Oh, no! Maurice! l want you back! Come out! Great Sky Spirits, hear my plea! Sounds like somebody's got a case of the pre-launch heebie-jeebies.
(shrugs) I dunno.
Maurice! lt's good to see you, too.
l am so glad you are back! But, where did your head go? Oh, there it is.
- Look, l'll take you over those crazy - Mission accomplished.
As if you had anything to do with it.
The Sky Spirits released Maurice! You rock, Sky Spirits! Why don't you tell him what really happened, rescued mammal.
Rule number 1: Don't question the king, baby.
Private, whip me up one of them "love" smoothies.
I need to unwind.
Guys Little help, please?