The Penguins of Madagascar (2008) s01e34 Episode Script
The Officer X Factor
Come on, challenge me.
Give your king a real race to the bouncy! Hey, that's too real.
Give me much slower racing now.
Look, I'm running.
Your majesty! Something dangerous and painful has happened to the royal bouncy.
Mort, you jump too so we make sure.
Okay, now Maurice, but head first this time.
Total inflation pump failure on the lemurs' bouncy, Skipper.
Polar bear cooling fan, kangaroo auto-feeder, chimp reading lamp, all down! Looks like we've got some bad habitats, boys.
Attention, panicky mob.
Clearly this is phase one in the space squid invasion.
I'd advise you all to keep your heads.
Space squids always start with the heads.
Space squids? Guys, I think we're just having a blackout.
Well, that's just what the squids would want us to think, Marlene.
If you truly are Marlene.
You know, I believe she's right.
The entire city is suspiciously dark.
Well, I guess that's a perfectly logical explanation for Show your tentacles you squidspy! What are you do Her story checks out.
A blackout? We're gonna run out of food! And I'm concerned about the rise in crime rates.
Yeah, I hear dat's a real problem.
Not to worry.
Penguins always have a plan.
My generator can supply emergency power, and with the food rationing program we've set up Stop! This is no time for planning and reasonableness.
With no electrickly power, the zoo has now become A jungle! And who is the king of the jungle? Okay, I'll give you a hint.
He is also the king of the zoo and the outlying mid-town area.
And it is me.
Okay, no more hints.
Negative.
There is no such thing as jungle law.
Oh, really? Perhaps everyone would like to hear the opinionings of a certified jungle lawyer.
All hail King Julien.
Case closed.
Case open! You can't seriously be falling for this! Well, he's got a briefcase.
This is going to end very badly, "your majesty", and when this jungle law does fail, I will have four sweet, sweet words for you.
"I love King Julien"? Ye--no.
I told you so.
What? Nobody tells the King, "I told you so".
It is unspoken of.
Well, we'll just see about that.
Yes, we will.
And right now, I will be seeing you penguins giving your king the royal sponge bath.
I call topsies.
Private, we're not part of this kook-ball's kingdom.
Come on, boys! Here you go.
Knock yourself out.
And now begins the gloriousness of the goldenish age of the new dawn of the mighty reign of jungle law! Oop, hang on.
I forgot to lock the security hatch.
What in the name of Eisenhower's oatmeal? What happened to all the peanuts? Oh-kay.
That was fast.
Hand over your food, ya mooks! Are you gorillas gonna give everything back nicely, or does this get ugly? You have feet? Give Mort feet.
Mort need feet! You stole sad eyes too? Ehh, you never know when you'll need one.
Oh, guys, guys.
Thank goodness you're back.
It's a madhouse up here! What happened to King Julien? He must've cracked like an easter egg.
I knew it.
All right, men, "jungle law" has stunk up our zoo long enough.
Time to apply some penguin-scented disinfectant to this mess.
Mess? Don't be so wrong, silly penguin.
Clearly the screaming and rampaging is to celebrate three successful minutes of jungle law.
Hooray! Also, I am resting, not hiding.
Well, well, well, King Ringtail.
I believe I owe you a few words.
In random order, they are "told", "I", "so", "you".
Allow me to unscramble.
Ah-ah-ah, shushies! This is not "I told you so".
The royal me is still on top of all these things.
Ringtail, no! they'll rip you apart! Yes, yes, everybody likes the chaos and the mayhem, but we need orderly chaos and nice mayhem.
You stink, Julien! Okay, we talked about this, pinky.
We express our feelings with words, not the violent throwing of Yo, Bada! What kind of ransom you get for a king these days? Playtime's over, primates.
If I don't get some food right now Peanut head! Kowalski, analysis! King Julien requires immediate rescue.
But to stop the zoo-wide panic, we need to get the criminal element under control too.
Also, somebody should probably take care of that.
We've got three problems: Ringtail, sad eyes, and criminal gorillas.
I want teams of two on each.
No man enters the danger zone solo.
Eh, Skipper.
That would leave us two men shy of Eh-la-la-la! never tell me the math! If we need two recruits, we'll find two recruits! Wait, what's, uh Okay.
That was, uh, kinda fun.
Get 'em! It's okay, Mort.
We're not going to hurt you.
Not true, Private.
I did authorize lethal force.
Peanut head! Peanut head! We're only here to talk, friend.
Straight turkey, no judgments.
Are you crazy? The dude's head doesn't even look like a peanut! What? How dare you insult my gloriously peanut-shaped head? Oh, golly.
That ain't right.
Bye-bye.
Okay, come on, let's return the loot.
Time to change tactics.
Tiny lemur! The feet need you! The feet? Why won't you go down, peanut? Peanuts! I have seen my entire life and many gigantic nose nuggets flashing before my eyes.
Thank the sky spirits that is over.
Feeeet! There he is! You were supposed to protect us! Hey, oh, I coulda really hurt somebody.
Jungle law is for fools, baby! Yes, yes, everything turned out most wonderfully in the end.
You may now decide among yourselves how to praise me.
I demand to talk to my jungle lawyer! Dude with a briefcase? Haven't seen him.
Guys, we have to do something.
We can't just let this happen.
I don't know.
I am dying to see that catapult in action.
Looks like this is my last chance to say what needs to be said.
So long, sucker.
A moment, please! I've got a few words for you, ringtail.
Oh, no, not now.
He couldn't.
I told you That this plan was genius! Say what? Well, his jungle majesty knew that in a crisis, the biggest danger is mass panic.
So he sets up this postapocalyptic wasteland scenario to keep everyone's mind off the blackout.
Brilliant.
All right.
Boy, that's great.
Skipper, you gave up on "I told you so".
That's the most noble thing I've ever seen.
Sometimes, Private, you've just got to set your sights a little higher.
Yes, praise me! For I am so much greater than any penguin could ever be! Rico, set the sights a little higher.
I have been meloned! All hail the king.
Give your king a real race to the bouncy! Hey, that's too real.
Give me much slower racing now.
Look, I'm running.
Your majesty! Something dangerous and painful has happened to the royal bouncy.
Mort, you jump too so we make sure.
Okay, now Maurice, but head first this time.
Total inflation pump failure on the lemurs' bouncy, Skipper.
Polar bear cooling fan, kangaroo auto-feeder, chimp reading lamp, all down! Looks like we've got some bad habitats, boys.
Attention, panicky mob.
Clearly this is phase one in the space squid invasion.
I'd advise you all to keep your heads.
Space squids always start with the heads.
Space squids? Guys, I think we're just having a blackout.
Well, that's just what the squids would want us to think, Marlene.
If you truly are Marlene.
You know, I believe she's right.
The entire city is suspiciously dark.
Well, I guess that's a perfectly logical explanation for Show your tentacles you squidspy! What are you do Her story checks out.
A blackout? We're gonna run out of food! And I'm concerned about the rise in crime rates.
Yeah, I hear dat's a real problem.
Not to worry.
Penguins always have a plan.
My generator can supply emergency power, and with the food rationing program we've set up Stop! This is no time for planning and reasonableness.
With no electrickly power, the zoo has now become A jungle! And who is the king of the jungle? Okay, I'll give you a hint.
He is also the king of the zoo and the outlying mid-town area.
And it is me.
Okay, no more hints.
Negative.
There is no such thing as jungle law.
Oh, really? Perhaps everyone would like to hear the opinionings of a certified jungle lawyer.
All hail King Julien.
Case closed.
Case open! You can't seriously be falling for this! Well, he's got a briefcase.
This is going to end very badly, "your majesty", and when this jungle law does fail, I will have four sweet, sweet words for you.
"I love King Julien"? Ye--no.
I told you so.
What? Nobody tells the King, "I told you so".
It is unspoken of.
Well, we'll just see about that.
Yes, we will.
And right now, I will be seeing you penguins giving your king the royal sponge bath.
I call topsies.
Private, we're not part of this kook-ball's kingdom.
Come on, boys! Here you go.
Knock yourself out.
And now begins the gloriousness of the goldenish age of the new dawn of the mighty reign of jungle law! Oop, hang on.
I forgot to lock the security hatch.
What in the name of Eisenhower's oatmeal? What happened to all the peanuts? Oh-kay.
That was fast.
Hand over your food, ya mooks! Are you gorillas gonna give everything back nicely, or does this get ugly? You have feet? Give Mort feet.
Mort need feet! You stole sad eyes too? Ehh, you never know when you'll need one.
Oh, guys, guys.
Thank goodness you're back.
It's a madhouse up here! What happened to King Julien? He must've cracked like an easter egg.
I knew it.
All right, men, "jungle law" has stunk up our zoo long enough.
Time to apply some penguin-scented disinfectant to this mess.
Mess? Don't be so wrong, silly penguin.
Clearly the screaming and rampaging is to celebrate three successful minutes of jungle law.
Hooray! Also, I am resting, not hiding.
Well, well, well, King Ringtail.
I believe I owe you a few words.
In random order, they are "told", "I", "so", "you".
Allow me to unscramble.
Ah-ah-ah, shushies! This is not "I told you so".
The royal me is still on top of all these things.
Ringtail, no! they'll rip you apart! Yes, yes, everybody likes the chaos and the mayhem, but we need orderly chaos and nice mayhem.
You stink, Julien! Okay, we talked about this, pinky.
We express our feelings with words, not the violent throwing of Yo, Bada! What kind of ransom you get for a king these days? Playtime's over, primates.
If I don't get some food right now Peanut head! Kowalski, analysis! King Julien requires immediate rescue.
But to stop the zoo-wide panic, we need to get the criminal element under control too.
Also, somebody should probably take care of that.
We've got three problems: Ringtail, sad eyes, and criminal gorillas.
I want teams of two on each.
No man enters the danger zone solo.
Eh, Skipper.
That would leave us two men shy of Eh-la-la-la! never tell me the math! If we need two recruits, we'll find two recruits! Wait, what's, uh Okay.
That was, uh, kinda fun.
Get 'em! It's okay, Mort.
We're not going to hurt you.
Not true, Private.
I did authorize lethal force.
Peanut head! Peanut head! We're only here to talk, friend.
Straight turkey, no judgments.
Are you crazy? The dude's head doesn't even look like a peanut! What? How dare you insult my gloriously peanut-shaped head? Oh, golly.
That ain't right.
Bye-bye.
Okay, come on, let's return the loot.
Time to change tactics.
Tiny lemur! The feet need you! The feet? Why won't you go down, peanut? Peanuts! I have seen my entire life and many gigantic nose nuggets flashing before my eyes.
Thank the sky spirits that is over.
Feeeet! There he is! You were supposed to protect us! Hey, oh, I coulda really hurt somebody.
Jungle law is for fools, baby! Yes, yes, everything turned out most wonderfully in the end.
You may now decide among yourselves how to praise me.
I demand to talk to my jungle lawyer! Dude with a briefcase? Haven't seen him.
Guys, we have to do something.
We can't just let this happen.
I don't know.
I am dying to see that catapult in action.
Looks like this is my last chance to say what needs to be said.
So long, sucker.
A moment, please! I've got a few words for you, ringtail.
Oh, no, not now.
He couldn't.
I told you That this plan was genius! Say what? Well, his jungle majesty knew that in a crisis, the biggest danger is mass panic.
So he sets up this postapocalyptic wasteland scenario to keep everyone's mind off the blackout.
Brilliant.
All right.
Boy, that's great.
Skipper, you gave up on "I told you so".
That's the most noble thing I've ever seen.
Sometimes, Private, you've just got to set your sights a little higher.
Yes, praise me! For I am so much greater than any penguin could ever be! Rico, set the sights a little higher.
I have been meloned! All hail the king.