The Penguins of Madagascar (2008) s01e36 Episode Script
Right Hand Man
I don't like it.
What do you make of it, Kowalski? I'm not sure, Skipper.
It could be anything.
Oh, really? Could it be Alaska? N-n-no, it's probably not a are you saying alaska might be stuck upside down to the clock tower of my zoo? I guess Because I think people would notice if the entire state of Alaska just packed up and moved to the zoo.
All right, maybe it couldn't be anything.
I'm sorry, boys.
I sometimes resort to sarcasm when facing the unknown.
No duh.
No one knows anything about it, Skipper.
It just showed up mysteriously in the night.
All right, people.
We have an unauthorized gray lump.
I need answers.
This looks like a job for science! Come on, science, don't let me down.
Who poke stick? You like poke? Vee poke, okay? I sting your face.
Skipper, it's a hornet's nest.
Hey, look who vin prize? You know vat's dee prize? I sting your face.
Easy, now, stingtail.
We don't want any trouble.
We're just questioning your choice of nest location.
Oh, and I have question for you.
Knock, knock.
Who's there? I sting your face.
Sting, sting, sting.
Knock it off.
knock it off! There is a whole park out there.
We could find you a secluded glade, perhaps.
This is a children's zoo.
With children.
Is okay.
Vee sting the childrens enough, they don't come back.
Whoa, stingtail.
Nobody threatens the kiddies in my zoo.
Consider your pointy keister out of here.
With all the other pointy keisters.
Less talk, more sting.
Okay, they surprised us the first time.
Took away our greatest weapons: stealth and superior tactics.
Well, that ain't gonna happen twice.
It happened twice.
it happened twice! This does not wash.
We're penguins.
They're insects.
We've got the size advantage.
But, Skipper, they've got the owie advantage.
We can't take out their nest without entering a world of pain.
Kowalski, where are we on eliminating pain? Way ahead of you, Skipper.
I've just been perfecting a pain elimination helmet.
As you'll see.
The neuron-inhibiting matrix provides 100% protection from all forms of It's not perfected! Oh, it hurts! it hurts so bad! It's a fools dream.
To live without pain, you'd have to be uniquely freakish.
Did I drop a mango down here? There you are, mango.
No pain.
It's like it never happened.
You want me to talk to the bees? Hornets, and talk ain't gonna cut it.
This mission requires harsh, decisive action.
Kisses and huggies? We.
Need you.
To go up there.
And remove.
The hornet's.
Nest.
Can I play in the beehive? Hornets! Vat? You want more sting? He wants the sting.
I sting you so hard, your grand-grand-children say "ouch".
Retreat! Sting, sting, sting, sting, sting, sting! It makes me polka-dotty.
It's hopeless, Skipper.
Mort simply doesn't understand the job.
Is this a waffle maker? No, that's a fusion incinerator Oh, I bet this one makes bubbles, right? Doesn't understand.
Of course! Mm, of course.
What? If I'm correct "If".
These brain energy-reading goggles should prove Yes.
It seems Mort is being protected by a field of ignorance.
He doesn't know he's in danger, and therefore he feels nothing.
Shouldn't someone stop that? I smell burning cookies.
Fascinating theory, Kowalski.
But how does that eighty-six the hornet's nest? Don't you see, Skipper? If we simply erase every single painful thought from our minds, we can be as painlessly ignorant as Mort.
Outstanding.
Where can we find an instrument that could wipe out all brain functions? Okay, now, this is definitely a job for science.
Gentlemen, I give you the degausser.
One electromagno zap, and the mind goes as blank as mort's.
Instant halo-of-ignorance protection.
Is it dangerous? Just a little incredibly so.
But don't worry.
All your brain power will be stored inside this cardboard box until the hornet job is complete.
Private, give that man a brain.
Okay, let's get stupid.
Private, are you all right? How do you feel? Rico, my medical supplies.
Ooh, is that a cotton candy machine? I like cotton candy.
Ooh, tickly! Eureka! Stupid mission accomplished.
Now all we have to do is point him at the hornet's nest, and oh, pretty shiny light machine.
No, no, not the degausser! I'm a disco penguin.
Be careful! Hello? I like degaussing.
Hello.
Hello.
Hurry, I see school bus coming.
Ah, school bus.
Is like gift box of children for stinging.
Did you make friends with the bees yet? Bee, yay! Here they come.
Is going to be busy children-stinging day today.
Bees! Why you come back now for? Hey, maybe they like the sting.
Then vee give the sting.
We sting your face! Bees! Bees! Bees.
I ate soap.
The sting, it does nothing.
How the sting does nothing? You sting wrong.
Why you criticize? You always have puny sting.
I have feelings.
We cannot stop them.
What is all this loud talk about stinging all day long, until the royal nap is ruined? Ruined! The feet! What? What are you The royal feet.
What the Okay, back to children stinging.
The royal feet are mine.
And I will have Vengeance! Okay, be right back.
What if I hug something special of yours, huh? How about that? How about I hug your brainy box? Thoughts returning.
Picked up some of Rico's saw horrible Sorry.
Skipper, children.
Hot fudge.
they're going to dive-bomb those schoolkids.
Skipper, what do we do? Without our halo of ignorance, we're powerless to stop them.
We have bees? Actually, they're Bees make honey.
Why do I not have delicious bee honey in my belly right now? I will get the honey.
Mort, no! They're hornets, not Bees! My favorite part is the screaming.
And we go.
The nest! the nest! What? This a monster.
Hello, bees.
Where are you hiding the honey? I need it for king julien to love me.
The nest, it is kaputted.
Flee! flee for your lives! Flee! flee for your lives! All right! He did it.
Sad eyes actually did the job.
Truly, his powers are too mighty for such mere mortals as we.
Oh, come back, bees! Mort, this is the worst honey I have ever licked.
Can I have some? Of course not, you greedy.
It is for the king.
So terrible.
I sting your face.
What do you make of it, Kowalski? I'm not sure, Skipper.
It could be anything.
Oh, really? Could it be Alaska? N-n-no, it's probably not a are you saying alaska might be stuck upside down to the clock tower of my zoo? I guess Because I think people would notice if the entire state of Alaska just packed up and moved to the zoo.
All right, maybe it couldn't be anything.
I'm sorry, boys.
I sometimes resort to sarcasm when facing the unknown.
No duh.
No one knows anything about it, Skipper.
It just showed up mysteriously in the night.
All right, people.
We have an unauthorized gray lump.
I need answers.
This looks like a job for science! Come on, science, don't let me down.
Who poke stick? You like poke? Vee poke, okay? I sting your face.
Skipper, it's a hornet's nest.
Hey, look who vin prize? You know vat's dee prize? I sting your face.
Easy, now, stingtail.
We don't want any trouble.
We're just questioning your choice of nest location.
Oh, and I have question for you.
Knock, knock.
Who's there? I sting your face.
Sting, sting, sting.
Knock it off.
knock it off! There is a whole park out there.
We could find you a secluded glade, perhaps.
This is a children's zoo.
With children.
Is okay.
Vee sting the childrens enough, they don't come back.
Whoa, stingtail.
Nobody threatens the kiddies in my zoo.
Consider your pointy keister out of here.
With all the other pointy keisters.
Less talk, more sting.
Okay, they surprised us the first time.
Took away our greatest weapons: stealth and superior tactics.
Well, that ain't gonna happen twice.
It happened twice.
it happened twice! This does not wash.
We're penguins.
They're insects.
We've got the size advantage.
But, Skipper, they've got the owie advantage.
We can't take out their nest without entering a world of pain.
Kowalski, where are we on eliminating pain? Way ahead of you, Skipper.
I've just been perfecting a pain elimination helmet.
As you'll see.
The neuron-inhibiting matrix provides 100% protection from all forms of It's not perfected! Oh, it hurts! it hurts so bad! It's a fools dream.
To live without pain, you'd have to be uniquely freakish.
Did I drop a mango down here? There you are, mango.
No pain.
It's like it never happened.
You want me to talk to the bees? Hornets, and talk ain't gonna cut it.
This mission requires harsh, decisive action.
Kisses and huggies? We.
Need you.
To go up there.
And remove.
The hornet's.
Nest.
Can I play in the beehive? Hornets! Vat? You want more sting? He wants the sting.
I sting you so hard, your grand-grand-children say "ouch".
Retreat! Sting, sting, sting, sting, sting, sting! It makes me polka-dotty.
It's hopeless, Skipper.
Mort simply doesn't understand the job.
Is this a waffle maker? No, that's a fusion incinerator Oh, I bet this one makes bubbles, right? Doesn't understand.
Of course! Mm, of course.
What? If I'm correct "If".
These brain energy-reading goggles should prove Yes.
It seems Mort is being protected by a field of ignorance.
He doesn't know he's in danger, and therefore he feels nothing.
Shouldn't someone stop that? I smell burning cookies.
Fascinating theory, Kowalski.
But how does that eighty-six the hornet's nest? Don't you see, Skipper? If we simply erase every single painful thought from our minds, we can be as painlessly ignorant as Mort.
Outstanding.
Where can we find an instrument that could wipe out all brain functions? Okay, now, this is definitely a job for science.
Gentlemen, I give you the degausser.
One electromagno zap, and the mind goes as blank as mort's.
Instant halo-of-ignorance protection.
Is it dangerous? Just a little incredibly so.
But don't worry.
All your brain power will be stored inside this cardboard box until the hornet job is complete.
Private, give that man a brain.
Okay, let's get stupid.
Private, are you all right? How do you feel? Rico, my medical supplies.
Ooh, is that a cotton candy machine? I like cotton candy.
Ooh, tickly! Eureka! Stupid mission accomplished.
Now all we have to do is point him at the hornet's nest, and oh, pretty shiny light machine.
No, no, not the degausser! I'm a disco penguin.
Be careful! Hello? I like degaussing.
Hello.
Hello.
Hurry, I see school bus coming.
Ah, school bus.
Is like gift box of children for stinging.
Did you make friends with the bees yet? Bee, yay! Here they come.
Is going to be busy children-stinging day today.
Bees! Why you come back now for? Hey, maybe they like the sting.
Then vee give the sting.
We sting your face! Bees! Bees! Bees.
I ate soap.
The sting, it does nothing.
How the sting does nothing? You sting wrong.
Why you criticize? You always have puny sting.
I have feelings.
We cannot stop them.
What is all this loud talk about stinging all day long, until the royal nap is ruined? Ruined! The feet! What? What are you The royal feet.
What the Okay, back to children stinging.
The royal feet are mine.
And I will have Vengeance! Okay, be right back.
What if I hug something special of yours, huh? How about that? How about I hug your brainy box? Thoughts returning.
Picked up some of Rico's saw horrible Sorry.
Skipper, children.
Hot fudge.
they're going to dive-bomb those schoolkids.
Skipper, what do we do? Without our halo of ignorance, we're powerless to stop them.
We have bees? Actually, they're Bees make honey.
Why do I not have delicious bee honey in my belly right now? I will get the honey.
Mort, no! They're hornets, not Bees! My favorite part is the screaming.
And we go.
The nest! the nest! What? This a monster.
Hello, bees.
Where are you hiding the honey? I need it for king julien to love me.
The nest, it is kaputted.
Flee! flee for your lives! Flee! flee for your lives! All right! He did it.
Sad eyes actually did the job.
Truly, his powers are too mighty for such mere mortals as we.
Oh, come back, bees! Mort, this is the worst honey I have ever licked.
Can I have some? Of course not, you greedy.
It is for the king.
So terrible.
I sting your face.