The Persuaders (1971) s01e07 Episode Script

Someone Like Me

That's everything I know about this girl.
Can I have my passport? I'm catching a plane soon.
Your Lordship.
You are Pekoe Rayne? You shared a room with Juliet Blake? I regret, mademoiselle, the matter of identifying the body.
- Your passport, please.
- I gave him mine already.
Sinclair? Lord Sinclair.
We are honoured.
Did you know the deceased? No, why should I? - She was British.
- There are 50 million of us.
Then why do you want me? My knowledge of English is what you put on a cue ball spin.
The questions are part of my job.
Well, do your job, pal, and find out why she drowned.
Why does anybody drown? Water.
Yes, it's simple.
You can do it without a lesson.
One hairpiece, one wristwatch, one beach bag found near the sign warning that part of the beach was unsafe? The body of a girl.
Death by drowning.
These are the simple facts.
The wristwatch isn't waterproof.
Why go swimming in it? Yeah! Answer that question for His Lordship.
- Perhaps she was distraught? - Distraught? Who's heard of a dame distraught enough to swim in a hairpiece? These are busy times and I am badly overworked.
If you wish to make an issue of this, these incidents are not uncommon.
Incidents? The body of someone is found in our beautiful bay, meant for pleasure rather than death.
The lungs full of salt water.
No marks, no bruises.
A simple casualty of the undertow.
Just one moment, Inspector.
I'm wondering if there's another casualty here, a proper police investigation? I do my best under the circumstances.
What circumstances? You must understand I'm understaffed and it's the holiday season.
I gotcha, this girl we fish out of the water ends up nothing more than shark bait? What did you call it, an "incident"? If this was some Maharaja, you'd have police cars driving all over the water looking for evidence.
You have identified the body? It's Julie.
Thank you.
You may all go.
You may go.
- Our passports? - In due course.
When will that due be coursed? - There is the inquest to be held.
- When? A day, two days a week.
I get it, what he means is when he's good and ready.
These things take time.
What are you gonna do about Julie? Nothing.
He'll stick her file in the bottom of some drawer.
Nothing.
He can't do that! You've gotta find out how she died.
She went into the water Death by drowning.
Perhaps an accident, probably suicide.
Julie would never do that.
Never! Why, she He doesn't care! Nobody cares.
- Come on.
- It's as if she never existed.
Keep my passport handy.
Cos if you think that's an ugly picture, wait till I see you again.
Well, what do you think? What do I think? I think it is very difficult to appear stupid.
A great performance, just callous enough to stir them into action.
I am grateful to you, Judge Fulton.
Nonsense.
Small return for all the help you've given me.
What do you think of them? Most acute.
You seem, er puzzled? Why this charade? They're your friends, aren't they? - Of course.
- Why not ask for their help? They wouldn't do it.
The mere thought of being involved in a good cause and they'd be off.
You wouldn't see them for dust.
What makes you sure they'll succeed? Justice.
A sense of justice, my dear Blanchard, pops up in odd places.
Besides, they're gamblers.
They like the long end of the odds.
It makes them aware that they're well alive.
Julie was always so alive.
It just doesn't seem possible.
Do you think her drowning was an accident? Never.
She was a 500 metre champion before she was a dancer.
- Are you a dancer, too? - Yes.
- You work with Julie? - Yes.
A grotty club called La Reve.
I'm one of the Quinn Travis Go-Go Girls! - What was Julie like? - A nice kid, full of life.
- Boyfriends? - She was very choosy.
- You had to be rich.
- There's nothing wrong with that.
- I love it! - That makes her sound awful.
She never did anything really wrong.
It's only that Julie Blake wasn't just a name, two words adding up to nothing.
People aren't just flies that you squash and flick off your wrist.
It's more than that.
Somebody's got to sit up and say Julie Blake was here.
Nobody's got a right to dismiss her life that way.
I feel so helpless.
I don't want Julie to just end up buried in a police file.
I don't know what to do.
How would you like to make sure Blanchard never forgets Julie or us? - You mean dig a little? - Yes, stir a few things up.
Nicely put! - Why should you want to help? - To shove it in Blanchard's face.
You could put it that way.
I'll take you home.
No, I've got a rehearsal, our leader's called one.
Why don't you spend the day with His Majesty here and I'll square it with What's his name? - Quinn Travis.
- Right, I'll see you later.
- See you later.
- Mind the step.
Move it, move it, move it.
Now sharp.
Good.
And stretch.
Sharp.
Up, down.
Up, down.
Hi! Sharper, sharper! Lift the arms.
- Listen - Nearly finished.
Now bow.
And big finish! That's better.
Excellent, wonderful.
Author, author, terrific.
Terrible! All left feet.
- And you're all mouth.
- Charming! - Listen, Mr Mouth, I mean Mr? - Travis.
- Right.
- Quinn Travis.
Who are you? I've come to tell you Pekoe can't work tonight.
Poor girl, it was terrible for her.
- Oh, yes.
- You heard about Julie? - About the drowning? - Who did you say you were? Inspector Headstone of the Death Squad, International Branch.
- I'm here to talk to you.
- About? About Julie Blake, that's what.
She was a dancer, nice mover - What squad? - The Death Squad.
I wanna ask you some questions.
Did you notice anything unusual in her behaviour, something different? Unusual? If you call giving me But she probably found a rich boyfriend.
Probably.
- Inspector who? - Headstone.
I've got my card here.
Maybe it'd be better if I take you downtown.
- What do you want? - I want what you know.
That's all, just the facts.
I'd like to check out this joint.
- Where's the dressing room? - Suit yourself, it's not my place.
- Inspector? - Headstone.
Don't you listen? All right, ladies.
From the top.
Now, get ready.
And go.
A one, two, three and go.
Now, move it.
Koestler? What's his first name? Lanning There you are! Suddenly, the exciting life of a travelling trouper begins to tarnish at the edges.
You seem to take care of yourself? So did Julie.
- Would you believe he got away? - Oh! - Who was he? - Never seen him before.
- What was he after? - There's a picture missing.
- What is it? - Julie's trophy book.
She collected pictures of her boyfriends.
- Whose picture is missing? - No idea.
Was she seeing anybody out here? She had a few friends but there was someone she was excited about seeing.
Someone from the past or someone new? I don't know.
She must have seen him, though, she missed rehearsal and didn't come home last night.
- Have you any idea where she went? - None.
She rented a car, is that any help? Well, it could be.
Let's try the rent-a-car agencies.
Isn't your friend meeting us here? What else are friends for except to desert you in the hour of need? It seems impossible to believe that she died for no reason.
Obviously, someone thought there was reason enough.
Then you're convinced it was no accident? Murder never is.
Er, Blake.
Julie Blake.
That's it.
You any idea who checked her out? Oui, monsieur.
I did myself.
- Oh, when? - You are a good friend of hers? Yes, I am.
Why? She forgot to get the balance of her deposit.
Balance? Of course, we had to take out for the other expenses.
- The flat tyre and bent wheel.
- That's Julie.
We had to send out a truck to pick up the car.
Where? All right, thank you.
- How's your French? - Non, non.
- Is that it? - Oui, oui.
You wait here.
Bonjour, monsieur.
Bonjour.
Julie was here.
He saw her take a side road 100 yards on.
- He remembered her? - He can't forget her.
She reversed into his petrol pump.
Anybody home? Tarzan must be out.
And Jane must be shopping too.
They're all stuffed! For one moment, I thought I was going deaf.
You have quite a collection of birds.
Mr Koestler is an internationally known ornithologist.
I have a similar reputation myself.
I was under the impression that we were expected.
Mr Koestler's in conference.
He said nothing to me.
Then we shall wait.
While you announce us.
Certainly, Lord Sinclair.
Matthew Crane, Mr Koestler's assistant.
If you'd care to make yourselves comfortable.
Forgive me, I must answer that.
The lounge is just through the arch.
- "Koestler" ring a bell? - No.
It was clever of you find out his name that way.
Slick operator! Talent I acquired.
Hey! What's this "Lord" bit? Talent I inherited.
- Crane here.
- The two that just arrived.
You're sure? Don't worry, keep out of sight till I get rid of them.
Lanning Koestler.
Do you recognise him? Hardly surprising.
Despite being a large international financier, he likes his corporations public but his life very private.
Too private, I'm afraid.
Welcome to the Koestler monastery.
I'm sorry for barging in like this, the door was open and Don't be silly.
It's marvellous to have visitors.
- It's a lovely place, Mrs Koestler.
- Lisa.
And you? - Pekoe Rayne.
And this is Lord - Sinclair.
Brett Sinclair.
- Very nice to meet you.
- Lord Sinclair.
Really.
I'm sorry, Lord Sinclair.
Mr Koestler is busy and cannot see you.
It'll only take a few moments.
- It's quite out of the question.
- Call him.
- He can spare two minutes.
- He asked not to be disturbed.
Get him, Matthew.
Tell Lanning I want him here immediately.
This is the offer, one third cash and two thirds redeemable notes.
What about my offer, cash for those subsidiaries? Just a handshake agreement? Look, I'd like to have it on paper to show these people in Texas.
Remember that deal we put together back in Houston? That was Dallas, six years ago next week.
Houston.
Don't fool with my photographic memory.
Mr Koestler, I'm sorry to interrupt, sir.
- I thought I said no interruptions? - You have visitors.
Your wife said it'd only take a few minutes.
I'm sure you can dismiss them quickly.
- Come on, Daniel.
We need the break.
- Right, yeah.
- When are you gonna be in London? - I don't know When Lanning said it was a mountain retreat, I had no idea how cut off this place would be.
Thank you.
Please, sit down.
- Here I am.
- How on Earth did you? What, young lady? manage to find a place like this? I'm more interested in how you found this place? There's no need to pose as some ogre ready to devour our visitors.
- Can I introduce Miss Pekoe.
- Hi.
I'm Danny Wilde and you're very cute.
You're cute yourself.
Cut it out.
- What did you say? I didn't hear.
- I said I didn't catch your name.
Thank you.
My name is Danny Wilde, what's yours? - Brett Sinclair.
- Good for you.
- Lord Sinclair.
- Lord! Double good for him.
What am I supposed to do, curtsey? It would fit in with the rest of your behaviour.
That's one up on you, Danny boy.
I see you're in good company.
Will you excuse me? Lord Sinclair, what's the purpose of your visit? I wonder if we could have a few moments alone, it is rather private.
Excuse, they wanna be alone.
How do you know he's a Lord? Really, have you seen his papers? All right, what brings you here? Julie Blake.
So, she sent you? I might have known.
Why don't you tell me, then? Then we'll both know.
You came here uninvited and I'm busy.
Let's not play games.
I'm not playing games, Mr Koestler.
Lisa? Lisa? If you wanna talk about Julie, talk in front of my wife.
What is it, darling? Lord Sinclair has something to tell us about Julie Blake.
Then, you both know her? She knows I had an affair with Julie three years ago.
Then, what was she doing here three years after the event? Trying to blackmail me.
Just like you are, I suppose.
My wife knows everything, so there's no point to your visit.
How's this for a point Julie Blake is dead.
I got Koestler hooked on a deal and we're all right for - That's him! That's him.
- Who? What do you mean, it's him? Who is he? The man I told you about in my room.
That's him and that's the car.
- Are you sure? - Absolutely.
This must be the place.
I'm sorry.
Truly sorry.
- How'd it happen? - She drowned.
How terrible.
Is that why you came? To tell us about her? No, we don't know the circumstances.
I thought you could help us trace her last movements.
I'm afraid we can't help you.
Last time we saw her, she was alive.
What happened afterwards Is there anything else? At the moment, no.
Then you must excuse me.
It's us.
Finished with your private business? Yes, thank you, Mr Wynne.
Pekoe, we should be leaving.
Mr and Mrs Koestler.
Goodbye.
Excuse me for a minute.
Wait a minute.
Hey! I wanna talk to you.
You are about as subtle as a 15 shilling hairpiece.
How did you get here? Pekoe will fill you in.
So nice to see you.
You can visit on Wednesday.
- Call that number in London.
- What number? Stop gibbering.
- Oh, Crane.
- About your call to Texas.
There's a five or six-hour delay.
Oh, well.
What do you suggest I do? You may as well stay the night.
You'll find everything you need in the bedroom, upstairs.
Wonderful.
Thanks a lot.
See you later.
Bye.
Call me when that call comes.
I can't believe it.
I'm shocked.
It's beyond all comprehension.
Aren't you rather overacting a bit? She was here, in this very room, you saw her.
- A beautiful child.
- She was trying to blackmail us.
She was so vital, so alive.
- There was so much at stake.
- She's dead now.
A terrible thing, Lanning.
But you must realise the danger she represented.
The Koestler empire would crash with a scandal.
You killed her and you don't seem to care.
What kind of people are you? Show him, Matthew.
Houston.
You met him in Houston.
It was Dallas! Make one more mistake like that, my friend, and you'll end up in the bay like Julie Blake did.
Time to go meet Danny.
If we're not back by 12.
30, drive to the garage and call Blanchard.
And you stay there.
OK? Come on in.
Come on in, Your Lordship.
You're always late.
- Late, late, late - Why didn't you open the front door? I told Pekoe you were supposed to use the side door, not the front.
I've never used a servants' entrance in my life.
- Did you get anything on Koestler? - There's a room.
- I found out something else.
- What? He likes birds.
I had a cousin who gave his mother for her birthday a very exotic bird, spoke five different languages.
Couple of days later, he gets worried and calls his mother and says, "Ma, did you get my present?" - And she said - Delicious.
Wait a minute.
"Delicious.
" He says, "But Ma, that was a genuine, South African "cockamamie bird and it spoke five languages!" - She said - "So he should have said something.
" You know If this It's It's locked.
- How do we get in, then? - With ingenuity, logic - You stole the key? - Right.
Well, well, well.
It looks like a Do-It-Yourself Empire Building kit.
I prefer a Rembrandt on the wall myself.
Excuse me, what are we looking for? What is it? - You are a high-finance expert? - That's me.
- You also love figures? - Right.
- Feast your eyes on those.
- Right.
Let's see.
- Hey! How do like that? - Like what? A stock I just bought went up four points.
Oh, I'd like it even more if I'd bought some.
Why is it everything you tell me to buy drops four points? Get a better broker.
What have we got here? A people's index.
Names photographs dates places, presumably when and where they met.
Even what the weather was like! See what the Ws bring forth? Wilburs, Arnold.
Wickley Wilde, Daniel.
'64 Couldn't be your age, could it? No! Place, Dallas.
- Dallas? - The weather was fine.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
- Occupation Dallas? I was right.
He was wrong.
It wasn't Houston, it was Dallas.
I was right.
Can I get in on this conversation? Koestler has this photographic memory, right? Right.
If he has, how come he can't tell the difference between Dallas and Houston, huh? - You tell me.
- I'm putting two and two together.
- And? - Why don't you go snoop around? I'll look at the books.
We're coming up with something, pal.
Uh! What a lousy picture.
I thought it was quite good, actually.
Mmm All vintage years.
I haven't seen books like this since my Uncle Louie was an accountant for a bootlegging firm in the '20s.
'34.
I didn't know there were any bottles of that left.
Now, where are the glasses? Strange, they leave their ledgers open but Iock up their glasses.
Transfers of stockholdings go from one majority ownership to another.
It started one year ago, very secret.
Koestler's holdings being liquidated and moved to a neutral corporation.
And then they're forming a new holding company.
Those figures tell us something? Well, it's the kind of a plan I'd put into motion if I was going to retire.
Or die.
Koestler? Come and look at the Late Show.
Hey! What's that all about? It's not just an ordinary home movie.
- Mr Lanning Koestler.
- Yeah, that's who it is.
Look at these cassettes.
Hands, walking, gestures, golf, eyes, smile.
- You know what this is all about? - Tell me.
Daniel, this is a complete cassette course in how to be Lanning Koestler.
Got it.
Well, he fooled me.
Yeah, but he didn't fool an old bed mate.
Julie Blake.
That's right.
She found out that he is not the real Lanning Koestler.
So she got a quick lesson in drowning.
Well, I hate to walk out on a movie, but I think we better.
I can't wait to tell Inspector Blanchard what we've found.
Yes, it'll take the smile off his smug face.
- It could be for me, you know? - Self-denial is healthy.
Listen, if you like Who is it down there? Nobody here but us birds.
There you are, Mr Wilde.
Your call to Texas has just come through.
Wonderful! Is there any place up here I can take it? - Er, in the study.
- Good.
In the study, then.
Let's not waste electricity.
OK, it's a deal? And I have the authority to sign the contracts? OK, fine.
It'll be two corporations, a million apiece.
Talk to you Thursday, eight o'clock.
Bye.
Matthew, all set.
Let's celebrate.
Contracts are all ready.
Brett? Brett, is that you? Where's Sinclair? Where? One false move from you and you're both dead, you understand? Come on.
I don't think Danny can stall Crane much What's the matter? You got something in your eye? Let me have a look.
I think got a clean Oops.
Yes, well I suppose it's quite a nice evening for a walk, hmm? You're lucky, these corporations are worth more than two million.
Then why are you selling them at such a bargain? I need the cash to manoeuvre.
Without my personal attention, the Koestler empire would collapse.
Here's to everybody getting what they deserve, right? In there.
What are you looking for? The rest of the car so we can drive out of here.
It's a carburettor.
I have plans for that two million cash.
Another deal - strike fast.
That's what keeps me alive.
- The best advice I ever heard.
- What's going on? - You can stop the act.
- What? I think Mr Wilde knows.
- Knows what? - You're a phoney, Koestler's dead.
- Excuse me, who are you? - Morgan Alcott, an inferior act.
Well, I don't think you were so bad.
With one remarkable talent.
Yes, for looking exactly like your dear-departed husband.
What did he die of? Kisses? It was a natural death, in his sleep.
You can't imagine how unprepared we were.
If it had got out, we wouldn't have had time Time, that's it.
You needed time to be able to transfer his stocks to corporations that you controlled.
- You understand! - Sure I do.
I'm a businessman.
Perhaps we could in some way? - Don't be ridiculous.
- There's no harm in exploring it.
Exactly what would you want to join us? What's the going price for this actor? A million dollars and a new identity.
Oh well, that's not a bad contract for such a short engagement.
What? Didn't you tell him how short it'd be? Well, don't you see they can't keep any loose ends floating around? They'll have to really prove that Koestler is dead.
- That's enough.
- What does he mean? What I mean is the rest of the world thinks that Koestler is alive, right? I had a look at your books and none of these transactions will work unless you can prove and come up with a body.
- That's enough.
- Right? They'll need a body that looks like Koestler, right? You look like Koestler.
I think they're gonna star you in a funeral.
Hello, Noddy.
Have you had enough sleep? We could leave word with the porter for a late call and a cup of tea.
Help me up, will you, Your Lordship? Oh, my head.
That Ravel, if I ever get a hold of him - Yeah? - What are we gonna do now? - How about three-handed bridge? - I only see two of us.
- You remember Pekoe? - How are you? What have we got here? Look at that! We got a lot of oil rags and gasoline.
A lot of gasoline, enough to blow up a tank.
- A molotov cocktail? - Right.
No bottle.
We'll use this can and stuff these rags in.
In the gasoline.
Then we'll take a long fuse and light it.
- And blow ourselves up.
- That's it.
I told you not to worry.
Daniel always thinks of a way out.
This is wood.
It's all wood.
Yes.
If you're planning on burning our way out, it won't work.
- What if nothing works? - It's OK.
I left them a time bomb.
How far will you two go? We can't just close our eyes and hope they go away.
Wilde may be right, how will you account for Koestler's disappearance if you don't have a body? Look, there's nothing to worry about.
Have you planned to kill me all along? Of course not! You must learn to trust us as we trust you.
If you really don't believe us, take the car key and go and drive away from us.
And your million dollars.
It's a trick, some kind of trick.
Come on, it's getting late.
Some of us must get some rest.
You got some marshmallows? No? - I could slip out and get some.
- Shame.
Oh, I'm mortified.
Never mind, Daniel, you get X for effort.
Well, that's all I did it! Come with me, quickly.
Beautiful, Daniel.
I love that short upper jab.
Get in the car.
Here's the key.
Poor Morgan Alcott.
Not a bad actor, but he was so predicable? Yes.
Well, that would seem to take care of three dangerous witnesses.
Not to mention one no-longer-necessary husband.
- Did you fix the door locks? - Everything.
They're on the way down now.
Good.
Make sure they go all the way down.
First day out of driving school? - Guess what? - I don't have to.
- Someone fixed the brakes? - Right.
Sloppy.
What? It was a perfect four-wheel drift.
How do you stop something like this? - I don't suppose - Er Oh Let's get out of here.
They really fixed us good, didn't they? Look! Panic over.
Bravo! Bravo! - Come here.
- Shampoo for you all.
I'm sorry, I have a party.
Here are your passports and my thanks.
My pleasure.
Have a drink.
Why don't you give this to His Lordship? The Commissioner.
If there's anything I can do - Can you do the Chicken? - Chicken? Forget it.
I'll keep these.

Previous EpisodeNext Episode