The Persuaders (1971) s01e12 Episode Script

That's Me Over There

That's Baxter all right! Hello, old chap, sorry if I'm late.
So.
Good, good, get aboard.
I can now tell you, that case contains the means to crush Western intelligence services.
(Explosion) (Alarm clock) - Morning, Daniel.
- Morning, Brett, how are you? It's quite a pleasant morning, a little chilly.
Yes, a little chilly.
How'd you sleep? Oh, like a top.
I watched TV till about 11, turned on the electric blanket and dropped off into Noddyland.
Good for you, pal.
- Did you sleep well? - Pretty good.
There was a small plane that woke me up early in the morning.
Just for a few minutes, though.
I must admit I like roughing it.
- But I miss the morning papers.
- The morning?! Come here.
Come here, Your Lordship.
Take a deep breath.
- Yes, it's air.
- Ahh.
It's air, no pollution.
No smog.
Quiet.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Might I ask what you're doing? Yes.
Well, what ARE you doing? Well, I'm making a fishing pole.
Then I'm gonna go to that lake and catch a couple of catfish.
Why go to all that trouble when we have a deepfreeze full of fine Canadian rainbows? When I said a back-to-nature holiday this is what I had in mind, not this hotel of yours.
You can hardly call it the lap of luxury.
Clean my own shoes, even prepare my own breakfast! That's tough, real tough! I bet you thought the balcony in your apartment was the great outdoors.
Out here you have to fend for yourself.
Yes, well, I think I'm fending rather well.
I don't want any part of the way you're fending.
For me, coming here is like cleansing of the soul.
I wanna scratch my food out of the ground, and if I can't, then I'm gonna go hungry.
- Would you, er, care for a cup? - Mmm? Um Um, no.
No.
Could've said so before.
Why don't you go and fish? All right, I'm going.
I'm gonna catch us some two-pounders before you perk your tea! - Brew, brew.
- Perk! # His feet were all sad and he was an old # - Good morning, Mr Baxter.
- Morning.
My name is Schubert.
Franz Schubert.
Welcome back to England.
Thank you.
But my name isn't Baxter.
- Not Baxter? - No.
Forgive me, I've made a mistake.
Good morning.
See you.
Goodbye.
(Danny) Toodle-oo! (Woman) Baxter? - Baxter? - Baxter! Baxter? Would you believe Baxter?! Baxter.
Baxter! (Humming) # Bom bom bom-bom-bom-bom bom-bom-bom # Ba ba ba ba-ba-bom # Da da ba bom bom bom # Ba ba dum # Ba-dum # Who's that? Take it easy.
Take it easy.
(Grunting and groaning) Baxter Baxter, Baxter! - Hey, what are you? - Please! What are you doing? - Hey! - Make sure it gets to (Coughing) - What? (Coughing) What? Wait! You gotta have a key! Mr Baxter? - No.
- Didn't think you would be.
Pity.
(Man) 'Come in.
Over.
' I've found him, he's dead.
No sign of the case.
Over.
'Then they must have it.
Now we have no alternative.
- 'It's condition seven.
' - Seven? 'That's right.
Recovery at all costs.
'All operatives are authorised to kill.
Over and out.
' Daniel, I don't think this is going to work.
- No? - It's as solid as a rock.
Hmm.
Rock, yeah, right.
It feels like a rock.
Hey, you could file your way through the chain.
File? It'd be quicker to rust my way through the chain.
- If we had some acid.
- That's it! - Acete What's that torch? - Acetylene.
Acetylene torch.
You have one? No, I forgot to pack it.
Very remiss of me.
Blacksmith! I'll go to the village and get a bla - I'd love to know what's in here.
- I don't care.
I just want to get it to the police and tell them about that guy in the parachute.
See you later.
- I wouldn't do that, Daniel.
- What? Go in that direction.
- Why not? - Because the village is that way.
Now, if you go through the woods for eight miles, you'll hit a road.
Turn left, six miles down is the village.
Six miles.
Want to come along? - No, it's not my case.
- See you later.
- Oh, Daniel? - Yes? Pick me up a copy of The Times, will you? (Knock at door) Sorry, sir, we've just had word from the Grafton Forest landing zone.
- They've got the case.
- No, but somebody's picked it up.
- Who? - We don't know yet, sir.
Our government paid a quarter of a million pounds for this key, and we shall have value for our money.
Our chaps are doing their best.
They've instituted condition seven.
Hmm.
Not enough.
Get on to the county police up there.
Invent some cock and bull story about an armed murderer or something.
Have them institute a massive manhunt - house to house searches.
- Yes, sir.
- Offer rewards for the case.
Make sure whoever has it has no one to turn to.
Make him the loneliest, most friendless man in the world.
Of course.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Hi.
I found him! (Distant gunshots) - What do you want? - Don't act innocent! You should've kept out of it! All right, what do you want? Who is it? What do you want? You'll never escape alive! - You haven't got a chance! - What do you mean chance? (Woman) Britten? Britten! - You all right? - I'll live.
He's good.
He's very good.
- Who is he? - American accent.
Could be CIA.
They like to dress the part.
More likely freelance.
Schubert, or one of his men.
Schubert? I didn't reckon on him.
He's the best independent in the business.
- Now, he could give us trouble.
- Could? He is.
This is the situation I hate most.
- It's kill or be killed.
- I'll call our people in.
- No sign of him.
Let's get back.
- OK.
I'm not talking to you.
- Evening, sir.
- Oh, good evening, Constable.
It's young Lord Sinclair, isn't it? That's a nice thing to say.
Must be years since I saw you, sir.
You were only a lad.
And if I may say so, quite a handful.
- What with the girls and - Yes, that was a long time ago.
Would you care for a glass of cooking sherry? Thank you very much, sir.
But not on duty.
Yes, I rather expected you would say that.
It's a little off your beat here, isn't it? Ah.
Well, we got trouble, sir.
I'm afraid I have to ask you to move out.
Oh? Why? Well, I can't ask you to move off your uncle's land, exactly, sir, but, ah best for you.
What sort of trouble? Escaped murderer at large, sir.
Very violent.
Biggest manhunt in this district for years.
Violent? Well in that case, I'll take a room at the pub in the village.
Would you send a truck to collect my things? - Very good, sir.
- Do you have a description? Bit vague.
About six foot, American, dark, and carrying a black attaché case, sir.
Cheerio.
(Car engine) Did you get them? Your orders are carried out as always, Herr Schubert.
(Schubert) Good, good! Get dressed! You'll be able to move around more freely.
Police are coming in from miles around.
Now, you have only one object.
Find the man with the case, kill him, and bring it to me.
Good luck.
One little incentive - £5,000 for the man who gets the case.
(Dog whining) What do you hang around with me for? Nothing personal, either.
(Twigs cracking) Five to four you're behind the door, waiting to jump on me, hm? - How'd you find me? - Elementary, my dear Daniel.
This is the only building for miles, so the police searched it first.
Then it's a logical place to hide.
- You've got a devious mind.
- I try to think like you.
Why are they shooting after me, what are they trying to jump me for? Did I insult anybody? What's going on? According to the police, you're a violent murderer.
- What are you talking about? - That's what they say.
I don't care, that's their cover.
They're after this case.
- Why? - Why? All I know is they're shooting at me.
Must be a slight misunderstanding.
Misunderstanding? That's great(!) My tombstone will say, "Here lies Danny Wilde, honest and good, "who died of several gunshot wounds cos he was misunderstood.
" - That's terrible.
I don't know - There's a simple solution.
We go to the police, tell your story and Bob's your uncle.
Oh, thanks.
Excuse me, but there's one little flaw.
Oh? I missed something? A lot of guys running around dressed up as policemen.
They've been offered £5,000 if they kill me to get this case.
- Dressed up as policemen? - Right.
It's a serious offence to impersonate a police officer.
Really? What do they give you for murder, a parking ticket? Parking Daniel.
There's a truck outside.
- Could you start it without a key? - Sure I can.
- Then, the case is as good as off.
- You think so? Come on, Daniel.
Oh, I think I see.
- Good.
- Yeah.
- Right.
- Now, into the truck.
I get what you've got in mind.
Put your arm down as far as you can.
(Brett) Now, this around here (Danny) Have you ever done this before? - Have faith.
Have I ever failed you? - Yes.
- Don't you trust me? - No.
- I'm touched.
- You can say that again.
- No, I'm touched by your confidence.
- I see.
I mean, do you really know what you're doing? (Revs engine) Oh, wonderful(!) (Dog whimpering) Dear, oh, dear.
We might as well pack up and go home.
I've got buyers waiting for that case.
I've got to deliver.
Got to! Look, we don't have a chance against this many people.
If only I could reduce the opposition, end the search.
It can be done! I'm going to the car.
You'll meet me here at dawn.
- What are you gonna do? - Simply outthink them.
And don't waste your time.
Keep searching! Your benefactor told you where to take this? Unfortunately, he died before he could tell me.
Very inconsiderate of him.
Oh, you're just gonna hurt your manicure.
You know, whoever this case belongs to has got the key.
- Right? - Admirable logic(!) - But where does it get us? - Nowhere.
If we get it open, we'll have some clue, an address Oh, you won't open it.
You need to be Superman with them x-ray eyes to look inside.
- X-rays.
X-rays, that's it! - You got it, huh? There's a nursing home nearby run by Dr Rogers.
I knew him as a child.
- Must be a very old doctor now.
- Ho ho.
- Come on, come on.
- He has x-rays! - Can we go in the truck? - Of course! - Now what? - I have a better idea.
- What? - We'll walk.
Fortunately, I know these woodlands like the back of my hand.
- So we can take evading tactics.
- All right, mon capitaine.
(Dog whining) Dr Rogers? Anybody about? God bless my soul! Young Brett! Nice to see you.
Must be years.
If you don't mind, I'll take that.
Put it somewhere safe.
I remember I treated you for measles when you were a lad.
Measles.
Funny thing was, within the week, every young woman in the area had it.
- That was a long time ago.
- Gesundheit.
Oh, my friend gesundheiting you is Danny Wilde.
Pleasure to meet you.
We're I understand you've got an x-ray machine.
- Yes, yes.
- We're here about a case.
Oh, I don't see cases any more.
- Not that kind of case, this kind.
- Are you selling something? - I just want you to x-ray it.
- But I'm not practising any more! Doctor, we're aware of that but we'd like a favour.
Remember all those cases of measles I put your way.
Well, it sounds very odd, but if it's what you want Hey, you! Get that uniform off.
- What for? - Come on.
Come on, get it off! There are too many people searching for that case, too much competition.
I have a way to get rid of them.
How? By giving them what they want.
And what they want is a black case.
Attached to a man.
Hey! What are you doing? I should start running.
No.
Look, wait.
If I'm seen with this, they'll shoot me on sight.
Start running! Of course, this place hasn't been used as a nursing home for years.
I I live here all alone now.
Research is my main interest, trying to cure the common cold.
(Sneezes) Daniel.
It might be a good idea to hole up here until the heat's off.
Good thinking.
Go ahead.
Dr Rogers, we were wondering if we might not stay here for a few days.
Well, I don't see why not.
There's dozens of empty rooms upstairs.
I've got my niece staying here for a few days, but she won't mind.
You'll be welcome.
She'll be glad of a bit of company.
- I'll develop this.
- (Both) Thank you, Doctor.
What's what's his niece like? I've no idea.
With your luck, could be seven and collects toads.
Which would make it lucky for her.
This is not the man I saw.
I don't imagine he was in it alone.
Probably passed it on.
It's not important.
We've got this, that's what matters.
Could you take that off his wrist? I hope it's been worth the trouble.
It's the biggest break we ever had.
Thank you for your assistance, gentlemen.
The hunt is over.
It's like I always say.
Give the people what they want and they go away happy.
(Chuckling) - Could this be hi-fi equipment? - Could be a tape recorder.
You mean I've been carrying around Sinatra in stereo? - I rather like him.
- What is this stuff? Any idea? It's electronic equipment.
This shaded area is probably documents.
The blacked-out part is lead shielding.
The rays won't go through that.
The leading exponent in the electronic field is William Wilton, who happens to be a friend.
I'll take this to him for his considered opinion.
Can I come? They're still looking for you and your appendage, remember? You come along with me, Mr Wilde.
(Sneezes) - Gesundheit.
- Here we are, then, Mr Wilde.
- Soap, towels - Thanks.
Plenty of hot water over there.
Anything else you want, just shout.
- How about a whisky and soda? - Wonderful, thanks.
See you later.
I'm going to tell you something.
If you think I'm gonna tear this jacket, you're crazy.
I'm gonna take a shower, I don't care what you do.
Doc? Yes, what is it? I've covered most of the district.
The roadblocks have gone, the search parties are dispersed.
Now we can move with complete freedom! Over 100 men couldn't find that case.
How could four of us to do better? Because now I am doing the thinking.
Because I know how a man's mind works when he's being hunted.
Because I can put myself in his place and think like him.
He knows the search is off, he's confident that he has won.
- Put that gun away, please.
- I'll kill you if I have to.
I know you will, just put it away.
- All right.
Now, who are you? - My name is Danny Wilde.
- Who are you working for? - I'm self-employed.
Liar! You're with Schubert! I never heard of him.
Put that away, please.
- You've got the case.
- No, you have.
But it's attached to your arm.
You can have it.
I'll give you a kiss for it.
- It's your case.
- Are you working for the Americans? I'm not working for anybody.
Now, put the gun Our people are experts at getting answers.
We'll leave it to them.
- We're getting out of here.
- Where are we going? Remember, I'm covering you all the time.
(Drain gurgles) Ahh! Oh! Ow! Now, give me Now, will you relax? Stop.
Stop, or you'll get hurt.
Now I was just beginning to think you weren't involved.
- What's your name? - Emily Major.
Emily Major? That's a lovely name.
Nice name for a girl.
Now, Emily Major, can I ask you something? - Do you know what's in this? - Of course.
- Do you know where it's going? - The head of my department.
OK.
Tell you what.
I'm gonna give you back your gun.
Go on, take it.
It's yours.
Do anything with it.
I don't care.
Go ahead.
- I don't understand.
- I'll tell you.
- Can I have a minute of your time? - All right.
I'm here on a holiday with Brett Sinclair.
- We were camping just - Lord Brett Sinclair? Yeah, right.
You know him? I should do.
He gave me measles as a teenager.
Oh, well, don't be disappointed.
I thought this might never happen.
- However, all's well that ends well.
- Some bad moments getting it.
Well, let's see what we paid a quarter of a million pounds for.
Doesn't fit.
The key doesn't fit! - Let me try it, sir.
- Right.
Here, give it to me.
- It's not the case we've bought.
- The man that had this was killed! A way to make you call off the hunt.
Clever.
Very clever.
Arranged by Schubert, I should imagine.
Has all his trademarks, and his rather bizarre sense of humour.
All the James Bond books.
Our government bought it off an agent Baxter.
- The parachutist.
- I didn't get a formal introduction.
The special key came over in the diplomatic pouch.
Baxter didn't trust anybody to bring the case.
There must be a lot of secrets Priceless! Missile site plans, spy networks, codes.
They won't have a secret left after this.
You know all about it, don't you? Imagine that.
Oh, listen, when you get your bureau chief on the phone, tell him the case is in safe hands, and we'll go down to the blacksmith and have some tea.
And he can maybe take this lock off.
That's a G7 security case.
Tamper with the locks and the contents automatically ignite.
- They blow right up in your face? - Don't worry.
They'll bring the key.
I'm in capable hands.
London number, please.
We must assume that Schubert has the case.
Our only hope is that he'll offer it to us first.
I'm certain the price he'll ask will be phenomenal.
(Phone) Beecham-Bennett.
It's Emily.
She's got the case.
Where are you now? Then, stay there.
We'll be up by helicopter within the hour.
- And Emily? Well done.
- Thank you, sir.
- They're on their way.
- Oh, wonderful.
(Discordant orchestra) Oh, beautiful, Bill.
Now, would you take a look at these? Shh It's not finished.
- I can't hear anything.
- Mm.
It's a silent movement.
Enchanting, isn't it? Well, how do you know when it's finished? The orchestra gets up and goes home.
I wish I hadn't asked.
Well, while we're listening, could you look at this? It is rather urgent.
Please.
Oh, this IS interesting! Mmm, fascinating! - Security case, isn't it? - Yes, it's attached to a friend.
- You must be famished.
- Oh, no, I'm fine.
Oh.
Don't move, I'll get you a cloth.
It's all right.
It doesn't make any difference.
My dear, come back.
It's OK, I don't really mind, listen You know something? I can't take you anyplace! You're nothing but a pain in the wrist! Now, stay out of my way! (Knock at door) You Chained to a case(!) Yes? - Well.
It's been a long, hard chase.
- Well, I I congratulate you, you've shown considerable skill.
- Thank you.
- Leave him.
- I guess you're after the case.
- No I've got the case.
Check the rest of the house.
Substantial little piece, isn't it? If you haven't got the key, it's liable to go off in your face.
I know.
I also know the key is on its way.
So, we'll just have to sit and wait.
I don't think they'll be very long.
(Danny whistling) When the key is inserted in the handcuff, it sets off some relays.
But it's this little bit here that fascinates me.
- What's that? - It's a timing mechanism.
- For what purpose? - Well, it activates this part.
That's a trembler mechanism.
That, in turn, triggers this bit.
Well, er, what is a trembler mechanism? Briefly, a very finely balanced switch.
The tiniest movement of the case will switch it on.
It's so delicate that the touch of a butterfly's wing will set it off.
Butterfly wing? Well, uh then what? Well, it's obvious, isn't it? It will detonate this bit.
That is a charge of high explosive.
The entire case is one big bomb.

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