The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s01e13 Episode Script

Xmas Marks the Spot

Ghostbusters! ♪
If there's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
If there's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
You sure this
is the right way home?
Ask me no questions
and I'll tell you no lies, Winston.
Terrific. This is the last time we take
a job in upstate New York.
Especially if our client has anything
to say about it after what happened.
I still say it wasn't my fault.
I told her to keep the cat out of my way.
I mean, it's not like the fur
won't grow back or anything.
Forget it, Ray.
I guess we're all just a little bugged
about having to work on Christmas Eve.
Right, Peter?
Doesn't bother me.
Christmas is just another day.
Now this is weird.
I don't remember this fork
in the road on our way up.
Do you, Egon?
No, but given our general direction
and the presumed location of the turnpike,
I'd say go left.
You know, I could be mistaken,
but this doesn't look like a turnpike.
Shall we put it to a vote?
Not now, Peter, OK?
Come on, girl. Just a little further.
You can do it. Come on.
I knew I should
have worn my long undies.
What a way to spend Christmas Eve,
eh, Peter?
Come on, let's see if we
can find a phone somewhere.
What's with him?
He always gets grumpy
about this time of year.
Christmas isn't Peter's favorite season.
His father was always away at Christmas.
That affects you after a while.
It's easier to shrug that off
if you pretend you don't care
about Christmas.
And you pretend it long enough,
pretty soon you believe it.
Boy, this thing
is steeper than it looks.
I just hope there's
something on the other side.
Anybody get the number of that truck?
Hey, over here.
I found civilization.
Talk about your basic old neighborhood.
This place is ancient.
It's also not on the map,
as far as I can remember.
It's almost like something
out of Victorian England.
Old or not, they've gotta have
a phone booth somewhere.
Come on.
Is it, is it ready?
Here now, Bob Cratchit.
Have I ever let you down before?
Oh, it's a fine bird. Truly fine.
I only wish it could be bigger.
There are so many of us.
It's a wonderful duck, Father.
This will be our best Christmas ever.
I bet it will, Tim.
But it won't do us any good if we don't
get it to your mother in time to cook it.
Thank you so much. Merry Christmas to you.
And to you and yours, Bob.
By my soul, Elizabeth,
have you ever seen anyone
with as much joy of living as Tiny Tim?
Makes you wish his father
didn't have to work
for that miserable old miser, Mr. Scrooge.
What the heck was that?
Sounded like it came from over there.
Picking up strong
readings from inside.
Right there.
There it goes.
I'm picking up other presences.
Big, powerful.
They're coming in at 12 o'clock high.
A Ghostbuster's work is never done.
I will not go with you.
Get away from me, spirits.
Leave me be.
Ghostbusters ♪
Don't just stand there, men.
Do something.
You'd think nobody's ever
heard of the word "please".
Young sirs, no.
You do him far more disservice than us.
Release us, or you and all Christmases
to come will pay the price.
Yeah, yeah, we've heard it before.
No. No.
You've, you've done it.
I'm as happy as an angel.
I'm as merry as a schoolboy.
And we're the Ghostbusters.
Well, now that we've introduced ourselves,
can we use your phone?
I'm sorry, I haven't got a
Phone, did you say?
But, oh, gentlemen,
you have my eternal, unwavering gratitude.
What you've done here tonight
Will cost you some pretty big bucks.
If you'd like to write out a check
You charge money for this service?
Why, this is an outrage.
If I'd known it would cost me,
I'd have dealt with them myself.
Why, I can't even be sure
those were real ghosts.
They could have been tricks
or something I ate.
An undigested bit of beef,
a blot of mustard.
A fragment of an underdone potato.
There's more of gravy
than of grave to those ghosts.
We're talking money
and he's talking lunch.
I'd say we were at an impasse,
wouldn't you?
OK, Egon, let them loose.
No. No, wait.
So be it.
But this I'll pay and not a shilling more.
You've got to be kidding.
Do you know how much our services cost?
We've got
Yes, Ray, is this some primitive means
of telling me you'd like a conference?
Wow, look at this, Peter.
It's 1837 and mint condition.
You'd think it'd been made yesterday.
On second thought, this will do.
Have a nice day. Come on, guys.
So you're not so powerful as I thought.
Well, no one interferes with
Ebenezer Scrooge's sleep.
From this day forward, it's war.
Christmas. Bah, humbug.
Unseasonal weather for December,
wouldn't you say?
We've circled back the way we came.
Well, might as well try one more time.
Maybe this time, it'll catch.
Well, all right.
Coming, Egon?
I just keep thinking there's something
very familiar about what happened.
As if it's all happened before.
Oh, well.
OK. Egon, you go load up the ghosts.
We're gonna get the Christmas tree.
Aren't we, Peter?
Christmas. Phooey.
A tree? For Christmas?
-Bah, humbug.
But I thought you liked Christmas.
How very odd. Hmm.
Hi. Merry Christmas.
Bah, humbug.
At least they know how to keep
the Christmas spirit over here.
I love how they
always decorate FifthAvenue?
Get out of the way.
A Christmas Humbug, by Ebenezer Scrooge.
ButBut that's the guy we helped.
That's impossible.
How could we help Scrooge,
unless we went back in time?
Oh, boy.
That strange disturbance we encountered
when we went over the hill,
it must have been a time slip.
A door to the past.
Ebenezer Scrooge.
And those ghosts we trapped.
They must have been the Ghosts
of Christmas Past, Present and Future.
Well, everyone knows that story.
In 1837, Scrooge defeated
the three Christmas ghosts all by himself.
Since then, Christmas has been gone,
and good riddance.
We went back in time.
And by changing the past,
we changed the present.
No problem. We took the ghosts.
All we have to do is put them back, right?
But Egon's about to dump those ghosts
in the containment unit.
Once they're inside,
we'll never get them out.
I don't know. Doesn't seem like that
big a deal, if you ask me.
Egon, no, wait.
Those three ghosts, Egon, are they?
Of course. I just finished now.
Egon, you sure you
can't let those three loose
without letting them all out?
Correct. But why would we want to?
Oh, no. I can't believe it.
We've really done it this time.
What? What did we do?
We just killed Christmas, Egon.
Christmas is gone. Forever.
Bah, humbug.
Bah, humbug.
-Bah-humbug you.
-Bah-humbug you.
Hey, pinhead, bah, humbug.
Bah, humbug.
OK? Here's your
I'll give you Christmas noogies
I'll humbug you.
OK, so let me get this straight.
One, we went back in time.
Two, we changed history so Scrooge won.
And three, now no one
celebrates Christmas anymore.
There's only one solution,
we've got to go back in time
and return the Ghosts
of Christmas Past, Present and Future
to Scrooge's place.
The time slip may still be in place,
but we'll have to hurry.
Time is passing on both sides.
Christmas Eve will be over soon.
Question is, how do we open the way
for those three to get out
and not let all the other ghosts escape?
There is a way.
I can jerry-rig a device that
will open a hairline fracture
in the containment grid.
But that means getting
the ghosts to the right place
at exactly the right time.
Good theory. Only, how do we do it?
Simple. I'll go inside the unit
and find them.
Hmm. Pulse seems normal.
You sure you haven't hit your head?
I don't get it. I mean, big deal.
Christmas is just another day.
Just another day. Sound familiar, Peter?
I didn't sound like that.
Besides, that was different.
OK, Egon, you're right.
But we'll all go into
the containment unit.
No good. This might not work.
You'll have to go back ahead of me.
If I get the ghosts,
I'll join you at Scrooge's.
And if you don't make it out?
Then you three will have to become
the three Ghosts of Christmas.
Why do I get the distinct feeling
I'm not gonna enjoy this?
This is going to
be very difficult, Janine.
II'll need your help.
All right, Egon.
Just as long as you know
I'm doing it for you
and not this ChCh
Bah, humbug!
- Christmas.
- Humbug!
This must be the place.
The time slip to Scrooge's day
should be right over that hill.
I still don't think Scrooge
is gonna believe this, guys.
I don't even believe it.
Come on, Peter, have a little faith,
a little Christmas spirit.
Are you kidding?
Christmas spirits got me into
this in the first place.
Yeah, and maybe that's something
you ought to think about.
Well, let's see.
Where to begin?
Oh, yes, that's it. A title.
A Christmas Humbug, by Ebenezer Scrooge.
I daresay I like the ring of that.
OK, everybody ready?
Yeah, yeah, I'm as ready as I'll get.
But I want you to know
I think this is not exactly dignified.
Hello? Who's there?
What are you? Unhand me.
-Who do you think you are?
-Hey, Jack, I'm Peter.
I mean, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past.
That can't be.
You were defeated. I saw it myself.
You've changed.
And you're still the same.
Depressing, isn't it?
If you're really
the Ghost of Christmas Past,
where's your aura?
Your glow?
Oh, yeah, right.
Let's see, where's the switch
for the magnesium flares?
Oh, yeah. You want auras, you get auras.
Very well, spirit. I believe you.
What is it you wish of me?
Scrooge, baby, we're gonna do
our version of This Is Your Life.
All right, Janine,
everything's set.
This will destabilize
my molecular density enough
to be put into the containment
unit for one hour.
And if you're not back in one hour?
Then I'll be trapped
inside permanently.
Oh, no.
Now no matter what happens,
keep this portal open,
or I'll never get out.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
Come on, Slimer.
Let's watch on the monitor upstairs.
Oh, I don't know.
Oh, Egon, be careful.
Well, how's he doing?
Oh, boy.
Spirit, can we not stop flying now?
Not yet.
And don't touch the magic
window or we'll fall.
Here. What do you see now?
Why, it's the school I attended.
Why, I grew up there. I was a boy there.
Yes, I remember
that schoolroom all too well.
I spent many Christmases alone there.
My father off on some business
or other, but I survived.
My books were my friends.
What more does a boy need?
A whole lot more. I sure did.
What did you say, spirit?
Nothing. Now hang on.
We're gonna fly even higher this time.
- Which way?
- Left.
Go left.
I mean, go right. Right.
Oh, Slimer, I'm sure he's
never gonna get out of there.
Never around when you need him.
Flight's over, Scroogy.
Thank you for flying Venkman Airlines.
Now, what have you learned?
Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry.
Was I supposed to be learning something?
Were you supposed to
You were supposed to learn
that just because you had a rotten past,
that's no reason to blame Christmas.
Lots of us had Christmases
that weren't the best,
but if you give up,
you just end up denying yourself
what you're so mad
about never having had before.
I think maybe that's a lesson
we could all stand to learn.
Well, I suppose,
but I'm not quite convinced yet, spirit.
Well, then, you've got two more chances.
Yes, sir, as soon as I'm gone,
the Ghost of Christmas Present and Future
are gonna pay you a little visit.
And there, the workhouses,
where you said to send the poor.
You see them?
No, spirits.
Well, hang around.
We'll swing past again in a second.
Where is Egon?
I don't think Scrooge is gonna
be convinced by just us.
We can't let Christmas down, Peter.
We can't.
It's no good, Egon. Come back.
The hour's almost over. You'll be trapped.
Got it. There they are.
Hurry. Follow me.
Trouble, Janine.
I think the other ghosts here
have figured out what's up.
They'll try to
beat us to the portal.
We can't let them escape.
Get to the grid device, Janine. Fast.
If they start to come through,
turn it off.
Forget about me,
but don't let them escape.
Good work, Janine. No time to talk.
Please, inside. It's faster.
First syllable? Sounds like
This isn't gonna work. We failed.
Not yet. Look.
I got them. I got them.
All right, Egon.
You will be visited this night
by three spirits.
Three more? I'm not sure I can stand it.
And the first will come at 1:00.
The second at 2:00.
The third will comeWhenever.
Now, Ebenezer Scrooge, farewell.
Now, as my brother,
Christmas Future, might say,
let's take it from the top.
Well, did we do OK?
Yeah, you think old Scrooge
will learn his lesson?
Aye, I think he'll learn his lesson.
As I assume you too have learned yours.
That is, of course, why you are here.
Believe me, I have.
I don't think I ever
appreciated Christmas until I lost it.
Honest. Now, can we go home?
Of course. You had only to ask.
Take hold of my robe. That's it.
How did we?
I mean, we were just at Scrooge's place.
What a way to travel.
Question is, did it work?
Is Christmas back?
We wish you a merry Christmas ♪
We wish you♪
I'd say it worked out just fine.
And a happy New Year ♪
So I propose a toast.
To Ebenezer Scrooge
and the three ghosts of Christmas.
Hear, hear.
You know, it's funny.
I always thought
all that was just a story.
Makes you wonder what else might be real.
On Dancer, on Prancer,
on Donner, on Blitzen.
Nah, couldn't be.
Then again, why not?
Merry Christmas to all!
And to all, a good night.
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