The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s05e02 Episode Script

Three Men and an Egon

["Ghostbusters" playing]
Ghostbusters! ♪
[Slimer screaming]
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
[alarm ringing]
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
[cat yowling]
Ghostbusters! ♪
- [growling]
- [screaming]
[Slimer] Luigi, jump!
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
[Slimer] Ghostbusters!
[Slimer] Yeah!
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters! ♪
And me! And me!
[siren wailing]
Hey! Hey, am I glad to see you guys.
Right. Where's the problem, sir?
In there!
Something really weird's going on.
OK, we'll take it from here.
[clocks ticking]
Why do I feel an overpowering urge
to synchronize my watch?
[both scream]
Ooh, bad clock!
[P.K.E. meter beeping]
There's a definite presence.
Minimum Class 5.
[P.K.E. meter beeping]
[cuckoo calls]
[cuckoo continues calling]
[distorted cuckoo calls]
[Winston] [chuckles] Way to go, Pete.
You sure cleaned his clock.
[clocks tolling and chiming]
[gong ringing]
Midnight! The witching hour.
There is increased activity
on the P.K.E. Meter.
They say time flies when
you're having fun, but this is ridiculous.
Uh, guys, what time is it
when the big hand's on the 12
and the little hand's
on a grinning skull with glowing eyes?
[Ray] That's him!
Whoa! Hold still!
Whoa! Are you seeing that?
Time's up, you little clock watcher.
[Ray] We got him, we got him!
[ghost growling]
Hold it! Cease fire! Egon's too close!
I-I can't cease fire.
The beams are feeding on each other.
[Egon screaming]
Easy, Slimer.
Egon, what happened?
- Hey, you OK, man?
- I'm fine.
But I'll never feel quite the same way
about microwaving meatballs.
Did we trap that little Class 4?
No, but we'll probably
get another shot at him.
OK, troops, that about wraps it up.
Let's move him out.
Wow, I hope tomorrow
wasn't the maid's day off.
Everything's back to normal.
Though the word normal
is subject to interpretation.
[clocks whirring and ticking]
[Ray] Chow time! Come and get it!
- [bell dinging]
- Breakfast is served.
Mmm-mmm. One for Winston,
two for me.
Hey, wait a second.
One for Peter,
three for me.
Spud always had a way with numbers.
Speaking of numbers,
uh, we need to discuss our
serious financial situation.
Uh, seriously?
Very serious. Serious, serious.
See, this blue line shows how operating
expenses have gone up, up, up.
And the red line shows how profits
have gone down, down, down.
[groans] Oh.
[machine whirring]
The only way to keep
this ship from sinking
is by injecting it with fresh money.
Then, at least something
would be fresh around here.
So, I've invited some
potential investors to take a tour.
Oh, brother.
h, not another one of your schemes, Louis.
- Give me a break.
- Hey.
If they like what they see,
they'll write out a big check on the spot.
But it's extremely important
that you all put your best foot forward.
What foot? I don't have any foot.
[Egon humming]
[both] Huh?
Yay, you're cool, Egon.
- [both humming]
- [Peter] Excuse me, Egon,
but is this your idea
of a fashion statement?
Or did you finally strip your gears?
Yeah, what's with you, Egon?
Huh? Oh, hey, you have to hear this.
Rap Shakespeare.
"To be or not to be?'",
Like, that is the question, bro. Dig it?
Egon, are you sure you're feeling OK?
- Supremely excellent, dude. Thank you.
- [Slimer] Yeah!
Hey, check out my latest detection device.
It's designed to search out
and destroy pimples
before they cause nasty,
unsightly blemishes.
Isn't it epic?
One small step for ghostbusting,
one giant leap for zits.
Thanks a lot! Nobody understands me.
I'd say Egon's acting
just a tad stranger than usual.
Mmm-hmm, a tad.
[doorbell rings]
[clears throat]
Welcome to Ghostbuster Central.
We're from the investment firm
of Bilkem and Run.
Uh, come in.
These are the Ghostbusters,
mature men of science.
Automatic tracking device
locked on target.
Fire one!
- Look out!
- Incoming!
[Egon] Fire two!
[both grunt]
Cowabunga! A direct hit!
Yuck! Ugh! Get this thing off of me.
Well, excuse me!
Guys, either Egon's shrinking
or we're under attack from munchkins.
Who is that yo-yo?
Well, actually,
he's our scientific genius.
But you know how
eccentric geniuses can be.
[laughs nervously]
Oh, Egon! Come meet some people!
How do you like my thermo-reactive
water balloon launcher?
Isn't it just stylin'?
Adjustable trajectory,
has its own water reservoir.
Uh, forget it, genius.
Wait, wait! The tour's just started.
Wouldn't you like to see
[Egon] Boy, they were a lotta laughs.
Would somebody please tell me
what the heck is going on here?
Well, it's only a hunch,
but when that ghost collided
with Egon, last night,
it must have reversed the atomic structure
of every molecule in Egon's body.
For him, time's going backwards.
So, how do we shift him
into forward again?
Who knows? This sort of thing has
always been Egon's department.
[Louis] Help!
Looks like Egon's transferred
to another department.
Yeah, the toy department.
Chances are the key to all this
lies with that ghost.
But first, we have to find it and trap it.
[phone rings]
Great time for Janine to take a day off.
There's a wiggler attacking
the big clock in Times Square.
Clock? That could be our ghost.
Let's roll!
Yeah, let's bust that sucker.
Yeah, let's bust that sucker.
- [siren wails]
- [Egon] This is totally triumphant.
Can I work the siren?
How much further is it?
Can't we go any faster like on TV?
I'm thirsty.
Me, too!
What time is lunch?
I'm starved!
Are we almost there?
Are we, huh, huh, huh, are we?
I hope so. Boy, do I hope so.
[siren continues]
[people screaming]
[all screaming]
[all gasping]
[Winston] That's him! The clock ghost!
But look at him!
[Peter] It's like he's growing older.
[Ray] Maybe what's happening
to Egon is happening to the ghost.
Only in reverse.
That's why he's attacking the clock.
He's trying to stop time.
Winston, Ray, you come at him
from 42nd Street, Egon
Ready for action! [grunts]
[grunts] Better let me have
that Proton Pack.
It's nothing to play with.
No! It'sIt's mine!
Egon, this bust is gonna
take real teamwork.
And we're counting on you
to be the trap man.
Trap man? Wow!
When we give the signal,
you step on this trigger pedal, OK?
Let's go!
[blows raspberry]
Well, I hope we wrap this one up
before he hits the terrible twos.
OK, Peter, here it comes.
Watch me slam-dunk him into the alley.
Go, go Peter!
Egon, coming your way!
[over radio] Get the trap ready.
Egon! Egon?
- Egon?
- Where'd he go?
[stammers] I left him right here.
[giggling] Nice kitty.
Wanna play with me?
[cat mews]
[all exclaim]
Look, kitty, Ghostbusters.
Uh, guys, isn't Egon getting
a lot younger a lot faster?
The process must be speeding up.
You know, like a snowball going downhill.
Well, we better figure out
how to stop this snowball before it melts.
[Ray] According to computer projections,
at this rate, Egon will continue
growing younger,
until he vanishes from existence
at precisely midnight.
Oh, boy, Egon!
There must be some way
to reverse the process.
Think, guys, if Egon was us,
what would he do?
Well, he would ask questions,
like, where do we find the clock ghost?
Yeah, and how do we
force it back through Egon's body?
[both sniffing]
- And what is that smell?
- Phew!
Ew! Dirty dai-dai.
- Uh-oh.
- Don't worry, Egon. I still respect you.
But I may feel differently in the morning.
OK, who's gonna do diaper duty?
Odd or even.
Like it or not, guys,
looks like we're all in this together.
OK, everybody ready?
- [Winston] Ready.
- [Slimer] Ready.
[Peter] Ready. Break.
Then let's begin.
[Egon giggles]
First, we remove the old diaper.
- Washcloth.
- [Slimer] Washcloth.
[both coughing]
Fresh diaper.
Fresh diaper!
OK, I think we can close it up now.
Congratulations, gentlemen,
the operation was a success.
Somehow, that doesn't seem right.
No, no, Ray. It's perfect.
For a mummy.
Here, let me fix it.
There, there now, that's fine, baby.
All right.
Now you feel better, don't you?
- Amazing, isn't it?
- [Peter] Yeah.
Who'd imagine that Egon would go to
such lengths to get out of kitchen duty?
Great, OK, one more. Say, "Ghostbusters!"
[says "Ghostbusters" in raspberry]
[all laugh]
- [alarm ringing]
- [Egon] I'm so funny.
[pants] You gotta call
from some clock factory.
They're being attacked by a ghost.
That's him! Saddle up!
What about Egon?
Well, we can't take him with us.
Here, Louis, watch him till we get back.
Uh, sorry, Winston,
I got dog obedience class tonight.
I didn't know you had a dog.
Well, I don't.
My mother felt I could use the discipline.
Well, Slimer, looks like you're it.
Say, bye-bye.
- [all] Bye-bye, Egon.
- [Ray] Bye.
No, bye-bye.
Aw, baby Egon, don't cry.
There's a ghost
He played seven he played knick knack♪
Wait, wait! Uncle Slimer make funny face.
[makes funny noises]
Baby Egon, hungry?
Here. Wait! Maybe too hot.
[slurps] Hmm.
Nope, just right.
Man, look what he did to this place.
He thinks he can stop time
by destroying clocks.
[Winston] There's only
one thing that will stop the process.
We gotta precisely reenact
the original accident.
But that means having
the ghost, baby Egon,
the particle throwers and the clock
all in the same spot at the same time!
Then we'd better move.
We've got less than an hour
till Egon turns into a pumpkin.
[siren wails]
[tires screeching]
[Slimer making funny noises]
Ah! Human, human! Oh!
Shh! Egon, beddy-bye.
No time for beddy-bye now, spud,
where is he?
[all gasp]
I kept saying get the kid a teddy bear,
all he needs is s teddy bear, but no!
You had to give him educational toys.
[all gasp]
- Egon! [muffled speech]
- Shh! You'll scare him.
Well, he scared me first.
[pigeon coos]
Slimer, it's up to you.
Grab him and we'll pull you both up.
[Slimer groans]
[pigeon coos angrily]
[baby Egon exclaims]
- Look out!
- He's falling!
Grab him!
[all grunting]
[all] Oh, man!
Hey! Oh, no!
[all shouting]
[Slimer shrieks]
The ghost must have figured out that
Egon is the key to this aging thing.
But he hasn't figured out
that he needs our throwers, too.
Unless we find that gooper fast,
he's just blown any chance
we have to save Egon.
- See anything suspicious?
- Suspicious?
In lower Manhattan
at nearly midnight? Nah!
[Ray] What are we gonna do, guys?
It's three minutes till 12.
Three minutes left before
Egon disappears into infinity.
[Winston] Say, is it my nerves
or did that clock just change color?
[Ray] Let's go!
- [baby Egon screaming]
- Egon!
Hang on, little buddy, we're coming.
There he is!
[bell tolls]
Nail him.
[ghost snarling]
[all coughing]
[blows nose]
We got it!
But what about Egon?
[Egon] Help!
[Slimer] Egon!
Boy, is it great to see you?
We thought that
Uh, excuse me, Ray.
Could we discuss this later?
I'm running a little late.
[Peter] It's really you.
Of course, it's me.
No more baby Egon.
Baby Egon?
Would someone please
explain why you're all making no sense?
You don't remember?
Remember what?
Egon, old buddy, it's a long story.
And then you climbed out the window.
And did a high-wire act on our sign.
Yeah, yeah, high-wire act!
No, no, impossible!
If I had been a baby,
I would remember it and I don't.
Furthermore, I don't have
anything remotely in common with babies.
End of discussion.
[baby crying]
Shh, now, quiet.
Honey, please.
[doing baby talk]
[baby talks back]
[continues baby talk]
Why, thank you very much.
You certainly have a way with babies.
[clears throat] Well, uh, gentlemen,
we have work to do. Are you coming?
I think our little boy has grown up.
[theme music playing]
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