The Real L Word s01e01 Episode Script

Power of the Clam

My first sexual experience, I don't even remember her name.
I was completely, totally fucking scared shitless.
Never had a breast in my mouth or near my face.
Yeah, all I remembered was, was wanting to have that feeling over and over and over again.
She flew into town and I walked in.
I pulled off my top.
I was the aggressor.
I think she was a little afraid of what to do with me.
So I had to Throw caution to the wind.
I remember thinking, "oh, my God, what did I just do? Is that okay?" Like it was almost a similar feeling to the time I lost my virginity with a man.
It was very far outside of my comfort zone.
I think I was 26.
And I'd have to say, she took the reins.
She kind of knew what she was doing and I was just a, um, along for the ride.
It was hot, actually.
You know, it just clicked.
It was, um, it was incredible.
Everything just felt complete for me, and then of course, after I had sex, just kind of like everything fell into place, and I'm like, oh, right, this makes sense now.
So I'm 9 and she's 11.
She's got boobs.
We were trying to be, like, all romantic and sexy and I was like, "oh, let me, like, put whipped cream all over you and lick it off.
" I didn't have whipped cream.
But I did have sour cream.
So I put sour cream on her boobs and then I thought to make it sweet I would put fruity pebbles on top of it.
And then I proceeded to eat it off.
I'm just sayin'.
My first sexual experience was being home on spring break and my friend came home with me.
All I know is that I woke up one morning and I was super fucking horny and we started making out.
And before I knew it, I was giving her an orgasm.
I was literally eating pussy the first fucking time I had sex with a woman and it was awesome.
I love women.
And not in a douchebaggy way.
Like, I just genuinely love them.
All right, virgin.
I am currently single.
There are a lot of girls that I take home or I'm dating or seeing and I feel like I just have too many things going on at once.
I'm going to pick up my two friends from San Francisco, Sara and Taylor.
Hey, baby.
Taylor I've known for years back from New York days.
What's up, mama? Mwah.
Hi.
Sara and I, you know, had a little bit of a fling in the past and potentially present.
How was the flight? - It was good.
- Not so bad.
But this one doesn't remind me that she's scared of flying until we're on the plane and she's digging into my arm with her nails.
Oh, you're scared of flying.
That's cute.
- Are we gonna see Randi? - Yeah, we are.
Actually, can you text her and just say Tell her the hot bitches have arrived.
So we go to Alcove to meet two of Sara's friends and Taylor's friends from San Francisco, who actually just became recent transplants to L.
A.
Do you love L.
A.
so much? The L.
A.
scene, I wouldn't say it's full of femme girls.
I would, however, say it's full of a more polished lesbian.
I know, but you have that natural I mean, I'm saying, but you have a natural femininity so it doesn't really it's - you know, if it was, like, me - Right.
There would be a little more done.
It's kind of like a more attractive crowd out here, universally.
I'm from New York, and I think L.
A.
lesbians lack the working hands that New York lesbians have.
I know.
You want to get a cigarette? I'm gonna go with you.
About a year ago when I met Sara, we had instant heat, like, instant chemistry.
Just intense.
You know, circumstances after that didn't allow us to be together.
She got in a relationship, I got back with my ex, a lot was going on.
In recent weeks, Sara has become newly single.
So finally, we're both in the clear.
- This is cute.
- Thank you.
Being with Whitney is definitely an amazing experience.
I feel like with her, I have a very different relationship than I've ever really had with anyone.
It's just a different kind of connection.
I feel like Whitney and I are very similar creatures.
And it feels really good to see Whitney.
I think she's amazing.
San Francisco is comparable to New York.
- L.
A.
is cheap.
- Yeah, yeah.
So if you have this weather It's ridiculous.
And this gay.
You should move here.
It'd be good.
I wanna crush your body.
- You can.
- I can.
You really can.
I can't tell if I wanna shake her, or make out with her, or just fuck her.
All right, so where are you gonna put it? I don't know.
Somewhere.
What do you think? Like, in the garbage.
You're the only one I know that carries water into a restaurant.
Jill and I have been together over a year.
Work! Nik is my everything.
She is my best friend and she is my partner.
I'll make the bed.
I'll rub your feet.
Touch me in places I like.
We're just attached at the hip all the time.
We recently got engaged and now we're planning the wedding.
We'll see.
I'm not allowed to sleep with you the night before.
Yes, you will.
No, I'm not.
I can't sleep without you.
You're gonna have to sleep with your mom.
I really can't sleep without you.
And I'm gonna sleep with my mom and dad.
It's a tremendously large undertaking.
So we have a busy few months ahead of us getting this ready.
You were jonesing on my brother.
I gotta get that camp picture.
Thank you for reminding me.
I've wanted to do this for a while.
We first met at summer camp.
That was my first year.
That was my first year I was your boyfriend was your boyfriend your brother was my boyfriend.
She was actually, funnily enough, my brother's first little girlfriend.
And then we lost touch for about 25 years and reconnected on a camp website.
- Is that me? - Yeah! I know your legs anywhere! I had the most visceral reaction to Jill when she got in touch with me.
I didn't even know if she was straight of if she was gay.
I just knew that there was a connection between us.
Oh, my God.
I fucking love you.
I've never felt that way about another human being.
- Oh, that's nice.
- Feet? - Sure.
- Baby, you need a pedicure.
Badly.
I think our lifestyle is very normal.
It's very family-oriented.
This little piggy went to Gucci.
And this little piggy went to h&m 'cause you gotta keep it real.
You are a no-joke manicurist.
And you know what? I'll do this for you when you're pregnant - and you can't reach.
- You will? I'm really the straightest gay person you're ever gonna meet.
I know people that are gay in Los Angeles.
But as far as a scene, it's not, it's not who I am.
That explains a lot.
Most people think I'm, like, this tough Butch girl 'cause I have these tattoos.
And, um, really, I'm just a softie on the inside.
But I'll still fuck you up if you cross me.
No, I'm totally just kidding.
Yes.
No, no, no, I'm not.
That's great.
Put your arm up on the wall.
Yeah, there you go.
I'm in the fashion business.
I have my own public relations and marketing firm.
We produce pretty big events in Los Angeles and New York, fashion-related, of course.
Babe, look.
This is a first.
Babe, just go with how you feel.
It's natural.
If it was natural, I would be in his body right now, swinging my schlong around.
- Right? - Yes, yes.
Me personally, I'm attracted to really feminine women.
I'm hugging my girl and staring at a man's bare chest.
That's totally what you think about too, right? Oh, yeah, baby, feel my pecs.
Raquel and I have been together for about nine months.
I feel like I have the most beautiful girlfriend so I feel like I'm winning and everybody else loses.
Please.
I'm a plus-sized gal.
Ut up.
Somebody said something like gay fat is straight skinny.
What was that? I just saw that.
I'm a makeup artist here in Los Angeles.
I do makeup for private clients.
It's hard to find time with Mikey.
She's busy, I'm busy.
We're both type "a," our work ethic is very similar.
Um, the boiler room's pretty dark.
Do you wanna come up there with makeup just in case we need anything? I'll do theirs after I do mine.
Oh, fantastic.
We actually are really super focused on work and probably spend 12 to 14 hours out of our day at work.
Shanna, why don't you grab some people, line up the outfits, what's going inside the next shot, the next shot I've never met anybody that works as hard as I do.
And I've never had a girlfriend that works as hard as I do except her.
Come on, let's go do this last shot really quick.
We have two people that are hard workers that wanna go somewhere in their life.
So it's been hard for us to connect, but what's the old adage you'll sleep when you're dead, you know? Give me a strong jaw.
Yeah.
So how did you meet? Raquel tackled me at a bar 11 years ago.
Yes, I did.
True story.
When I first met Raquel, I thought she was a tranny.
She cornered me against a wall and tried to choke me out, wouldn't let me into the club.
That's pretty much how it went down.
Choking each other out, um, you know, kind of like when you gag somebody and you're like, fucking them at the same time but you're gagging them and, um, and they like it? That's how we met.
Oh, my God.
This feels good.
I am 29, and I think I'm a late bloomer in a lot of ways.
Damn baby, look at you.
Damn, girl.
I first realized that I might like women five years ago when I went to Magic Mountain with a friend who, who worked with me.
I'm glad we came up here.
Yes.
You wanna go skate and get a beer? Yes.
We should get back soon.
We were kind of being pulled through the lines and she grabbed my arm, and it was like electricity that kind of just, like, went through my body.
And I know it seems odd, but this lightbulb went off in my head and I was like, "oh, my God, "I don't want her to be my best friend, I really I'm attracted to her.
" So that's when I realized I might be gay.
Are you staring at my cleavage? What? I can't help it.
Where's Rochelle? She would be staring at your cleavage too.
No way.
I'm a development executive at a production company.
We deal with both actually films and tv.
You know what? I don't even know if I can get up on a surfboard anymore, it's been so long.
I'm like, "yeah, I go surfing all the time.
" I used to go a lot, and then I just stopped.
Yeah.
With my work schedule, I don't even think I could do it right now.
You know what I mean? It's pretty much 24-7, my job.
But when I'm not working, I do go out a lot.
It's usually work dinners or a screening or a premiere.
And then go out with my friends till 2:00 in the morning.
We need to get in the next couple weeks.
We will.
- Once your tattoo heals.
- Yeah.
My mother and father live in New Jersey.
They're recently divorced.
But we're all very, very close.
My mother's this little ball of energy.
She's just a sweetheart.
- Hello? - Hola, mamacita.
Hey, baby, how are you? My mother is not a fan of my sexuality at all.
We just don't talk about it.
What are you doing the rest of the day? A couple years ago, we had an unspoken agreement in a way that we wouldn't talk about anything gay, that anything else is okay, but not that.
That haircut you gave me in middle school, I was like an ugly duckling.
No.
You're beautiful.
You are so gorgeous.
I'm turning 30 this year and life is so different now and I'm so much more comfortable in my skin.
No, I'm just kidding, mama.
I wanna talk to you more but I have to get ready.
I decided that I just need to be more aggressive.
- Okay, love you.
- I love you too, mamacita.
And I think it's time for both of us to sort of acknowledge and have an adult conversation about this issue.
Girlfriend! Hey, this is how you roll, bitches.
I'm gonna walk in with that, - and I'm gonna get, like - Wait, Rose.
For one girl that says no, there are ten that are gonna say yes.
Just gotta find them.
Let's go say hi to our little pals.
L.
A.
does have the prettiest girls.
L.
A.
does have that flashiness.
You know, L.
A.
does have the mansions in Malibu when you're hooking up with someone in the industry or whatever.
All that's true.
Oh, go! Go! Go! I'm in real estate finance.
That's what I do.
I got plenty of money to spend, look.
There's a top 1% in the lesbian scene, right? Someone who looks good, who can dress good, who has a good job, who can show you a good time.
- Romance! - Romance! If you have that, then you're on top of your game.
It's done.
Yeah, we need to do Vegas again.
I told you.
Dude, you and I can get straight bitches.
I came out, you know, a lot later than a lot of people did.
I was, you know, 19, 20.
And just this whole, like, fuckin' monster just came out of nowhere.
It's hard for me to behave myself at times.
I would already have a ten-year relationship if I wasn't a bad girl, you know, but I am.
- Hey, baby.
- How's it going? Mwah.
A group of us are at the Betty@fubar tonight Taylor, Scarlett, Sara and I.
Scarlett is one of my best friends.
I'm stoked.
Like, I want to show Taylor and Sara a good time.
Oh, my God.
This is her first impression on L.
A.
lesbians, and it's gotta be a good one.
Growling, growling! Sara likes to be the center of attention.
I'm not gonna lie.
She looked so good up there.
We were all just having a fantastic time.
All of a sudden I looked over and I noticed that that this girl that I'd just hooked up with, Romy, is standing right there.
Romy apparently doesn't want to have anything to do with the situation, and tries to get out as fast as possible.
Mind you, Sara is wondering what the hell is going on.
So avoiding the issue is not the solution.
God, this is so bad, man.
I cannot, or should not, multitask girls.
It's bad news.
- It's fine and - It's not fine.
- No, it is.
- No, it's not.
Romy and I never had any labels at all.
We were both, you know, just trying to get to know each other.
But I didn't want to leave things unresolved.
Romy And everyone told me Whitney doesn't want anything.
She wants nothing, and she doesn't want a relationship.
- She doesn't want to settle down.
- Who is telling you that? - Everybody.
- Who's everybody? 'Cause you're obviously making this up, 'cause I haven't talked to anybody except Scarlett.
Wow, I don't know who this is.
So who said this, Scarlett, 'cause Scarlett's the only person I talked to.
I would not say that.
Romy, you know I didn't say that.
- No, it wasn't you.
- Can you just, like, call me when you're not, like, with people, and talk to me? Like Whitney is a good person.
She has a good heart.
I don't think she ever means to hurt anyone.
It's funny because I've never seen anyone that could date so many people but care about them equally.
I guess she's a polyamorous lover, I don't know.
I don't know What the fuck does she want? Scarlett, I feel like a horrible individual.
I'm I'm not happy with the situation right now.
I'm not.
I'll see you guys later.
Jamie is down.
Your Jamie's a fuck.
Because I have a wife, fool! You're staying with this cunt, right? Have her change your diaper too.
Swipe.
I used to break a lot of hearts.
But I'm in a relationship with someone I actually care about.
Baby, did you have a good night? Natalie and I are cool.
We've been serious for about seven months.
You have all your roses.
I don't think you want them.
I love Rose, but Rose likes to go out, and she likes to party, and she likes to, like, be out there.
And sometimes she can go a little over the edge.
Sometimes I do have that little, you know, firecracker, "let me get out there, and let me just get another girl.
" But for the most part, I've been behaving.
Wow.
All right, the dogs are gonna go crazy.
Scarlett, I got a not-too-good text.
I know, I got one from Romy too.
- What did it say? - Some sad shit.
- Did it? - Yeah? I hate this.
- You fucked her up.
- Why? I didn't expect to see Romy.
I didn't mean to hurt her, if that's what happened.
So I was texting her back, apologizing for the situation.
I know it was awkward, and we didn't really have a resolution.
So I really wanted to figure that out.
Romy, why did you walk away from me like that? I'm sorry because I'm sorry that we couldn't talk.
I know, and I'm sorry.
You deserve to obviously be treated amazing.
And you're an amazing person.
And I hope we can be I know that we're gonna be great friends or whatever.
I'll be talking to you soon then.
All right, you too.
Bye.
That's good.
I don't want anybody to get hurt.
That's my biggest thing.
I really don't.
And I just want to try to keep communication as open as possible.
See, resolution.
Are you good? Do you want anything? Water? No, I'm good, thank you.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
Good.
I'm turning this off.
Jilly? Bag separation anxiety.
I had the bag in the bedroom.
Momo! Have bag, will travel, Morgan.
Nik and I have our little routine in the morning.
We'll get up, and she'll make coffee.
And we'll sit down and both get on our computers to start looking at wedding things.
So you're pulling design ideas? I'm pulling ideas about dresses.
Look, look, look, look, I just found your dress.
Like, you want it to be drapey.
I love all that fabric.
I think that's stunning.
- Look at this one! - Did you register? I bet that's open in the back, though.
- Sweetheart? - Yes? I just feel like we should keep our options open, right? Well, you need to feel beautiful and comfortable, so That's why I'm gonna look up right now Dolce & Gabbana and Gucci White suits.
You I just want you to keep an open mind.
"White wedding suit for woman.
" What do we call backless? Look, baby love.
- That's sexy.
- It's so sexy.
- But is that wedding sexy? - Yeah.
Well, I'll make it wedding sexy.
I think you'll look gorgeous, but I would love to see you try on a dress.
I don't want to be, like, we're both in White dresses, and we're like twins walking down the aisle.
Not matching.
I would like to complement one another.
- If a suit is what you love - I'm very self-conscious.
I don't want to look like I have cleavage, like I have an ass on my chest! I think Nik is very headstrong.
You have two women, you have two sensitive individuals in a relationship, and you have two opinionated people in a relationship.
That's a potential for some explosion.
So as long as we talk a lot and stay open-minded, I think we'll be okay.
I wonder what's gonna happen when they say, "you can now kiss the bride"? Okay.
Well, the less dress I wear, the quicker we'll get through that process.
Our marriage clearly isn't legalized by the state of California, but we do want to have this celebration with our friends and family.
Let's just be open-minded and look.
This dress is gorgeous.
I think it's a tremendous injustice.
Not being able to get married by law, it makes me incensed.
You're gonna look very pretty.
But I'm sure as hell gonna call it a marriage because that's what it is to me.
I'm marrying her.
I want to put your head on that so I can see the whole picture.
Let's just superimpose your head.
I'm marrying you.
It's so crazy.
Wakey wakey! Come on, baby.
It's time to get up.
I'm in a relationship right now.
It's new.
It's maybe three months new.
It's amazing.
Her name is Stamie.
We're definitely still in our honeymoon phase.
Stamie's life is very complicated, I guess you can say.
And now that I'm part of her life, mine is a little bit as well.
Who is it? The binky fairy! Ah, the binky fairy! Jaggy, why are your pants undone? I had three kids.
I came in a relationship with the baby on the way.
Got pregnant again with twins.
You want a happy? Well, tell her about the binky fairy.
Did you get rid of all the binkies? I did.
I I stored them in the ground.
Julie is my ex-baby mama of my three children.
Our first son, Jagger, is her biological child.
And the twins, Nico and Daugherty, are my biological children.
And if you can't figure that out on your own, I'm not explaining it.
Let's walk mommy out and help mama go bring the stuff in.
Hardest part about having joint custody is joint custody.
I think we've come to good terms with that and we make an effort not to have any tension in front of the kids or, you know I'm gonna leave my coffee cup in here like you leave all your crap in the car.
Really? And then you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna drive the car to your house and put it in your driveway like you do.
And I'm gonna leave it trashy like you always leave the car.
Can you leave that book in there, or does that bother you? Does it take up too much space in the trunk? You break up with someone and you're, like, "have a good life.
Talk to you in a few years.
" You know? But when you break up with kids, you're, like, "hey, let's talk tomorrow and the next day and the next day" because you have children together.
- Bye, Jaggy.
- Have a nice day.
- Thank you.
You too.
- I will.
That's why you have to stay on good terms or you're gonna be tortured.
- They're my high heels.
- They were not.
I wear high heels.
I learned how to walk.
I took a I took a a grace class.
An etiquette class.
They were a little scuffed up.
You might want to polish them.
They're going to be polished.
That's why they were in the car, jack-ass.
And it's fine.
It's fine.
What am I gonna do, sit in my house and cry that my relationship didn't work out and I have to raise three kids? Bullshit.
My life is too short and my boobs are too big to lock them up in the valley.
- I missed them.
- I know, right? Yeah.
They're not my kids.
But in a way, I'm in a relationship now with four people: Stamie and three kids.
I think I'm still kind of learning how to handle it.
So cute.
I know.
Oh, my gosh.
Lookit.
What are you doing? He kissed me! Hello.
Anybody home? - Hey.
- Good morning.
Good morning.
One of the biggest projects we're working on right now is Los Angeles Fashion Week.
We bring together some of L.
A.
's finest designers, put them on the runway, and bring in the media and the local retail buyer.
My goals are to create the best Los Angeles Fashion Week that L.
A.
's ever seen.
What's going on? I just dropped off the raw 7, but we still have one of their scarves.
Awesome.
I've got my new assistant Shanna.
And Anna is our new intern.
Shanna, I got to tell you, you did a fucking stellar job yesterday.
I couldn't be happier.
I'm so proud of you.
So how are we gonna do the casting today? Okay, when I give you a one, a two, or a three, mark that on the top of their comp card.
One, obviously, is somebody that we probably really want to book.
- Okay.
- Okay? Two is somebody that probably has a good look, but maybe their walk's not as strong.
Three is somebody we don't want to use for the show.
- Okay.
- All right? For Fashion Week, we're really getting ramped up.
We're casting for ten different clients that want ten different things.
Go ahead and sign in here, please.
We have to deliver the best models.
We have a lot of standards to live up to for these designers.
They don't take this shit lightly.
They want perfection so the pressure is on.
Two.
All right.
This is a runway model.
This is this is this is what they look like.
Perfect.
That's great.
Awesome.
Have you done runway before? So that's a no, okay? You want with clothes, without clothes? What exactly do you guys want? Keep your clothes on.
Three.
Do you want it all the way down and back? I can already tell you haven't walked yet.
I can already tell you have runway experience.
All right.
You've done shows before, haven't you? Yes.
I can already tell.
All right, so go start go down there and start up here.
Give me a pose and back.
It's his physique.
It's everything.
- Crazy.
- I can tell you right now.
- I know.
- You're such a I've been doing this shit for a long time.
Yeah.
Apparently, I was wrong.
So about an hour into the casting right now and I just do not know where the fuck some of these models are coming from.
Do you have your comp card? - My what? - Comp card.
Comp? I hope you have a book and I hope you have fucking experience 'cause I have, like, two seconds for you.
I have a million things we got to do today.
It's so frustrating and such a fucking huge waste of my time.
Is there a number worse than three? - Are you with an agency? - Yeah, I'm a model.
Okay.
Very good.
I don't know how this woman got our contact info.
These small, little, no-name agencies that I've never even fucking heard of.
This is ridiculous.
We're definitely gonna have to recast another day.
And that costs time and money.
And that's a huge problem.
We're done.
I'm I'm fucking over it with your fucking agent, whoever this person is.
Really? Yeah, really.
And I I don't mean to take it out on you.
No, please.
I I totally understand.
I mean, I feel as unprepared as well.
And I apologize.
She literally sent me the info, I mean, this morning.
- I don't even know this person.
- And rushed me down here.
I said "I don't even have any of my stuff.
" And she just said go.
Get this woman from on the phone for me.
Okay.
So I can find out who the fuck she is and why she's sending these models over here who obviously have zero experience.
Hi, Stacey, this is Shanna Reznik calling from the Gallery L.
A.
I have Mikey for you.
Stacey? I'm okay.
Um, quick question, how did you find out about our casting? Because what you're sending me over here today are people with zero experience.
Anna who? When was that? Hang on one second.
Did you call agencies for the casting? You told me to call local agencies.
I said get me a list of local agencies.
Now I understand where the problem is going on here.
All right, I apologize for that.
There's a big misunderstanding here.
Exactly.
I if I were you, I'd be really careful how you have this conversation with me 'cause I am really good at, like, not working with another agency and we do produce all of L.
A.
Fashion Week.
The booker kind of came at me really harshly over the phone.
You need not ever send anybody here without a book and without a comp card, okay? Hi.
How are you? - Good.
How about you? - Okay.
Tell you tell you what, we'll never fucking work with your agency again.
Don't ever fucking call my showroom.
Models, out.
Pull all the comp cards anybody with out.
I don't want to see one fucking model in here.
All right? I don't like their fucking attitudes, all right? Pull all their cards.
Out.
How are we gonna pull this off weeks away from Fashion Week now? This is gonna be a disaster waiting to happen.
Your booker's an asshole.
I'm sorry.
Not my fault.
Is this for Ceviche or no? I have three roommates.
I live with a couple: Alyssa and Shay.
Alyssa's actually my ex-girlfriend from years back from almost ten years ago.
We also live with Mike, who is the bass player in Shay's band.
It's, like, one, big happy family plus five dogs.
It doesn't get better than that.
If you want to make a giant fire, we should really have wood.
Tonight, people are coming over.
Just a small gathering.
Our closest friends.
A bonfire.
Some wine.
Food.
Do you have, like, minced garlic already? If not, I'm gonna even use it.
Um, is this garlic? Yeah, that's garlic.
Shut up.
You're, like, Jessica Simpson.
It's chicken of the sea.
It's chicken.
Look at your little chef chopping skills.
It's very impressive.
Sara is so the sexy mama in the kitchen she is just working it out.
And I'm just standing back watching her like a complete idiot.
There's no, like, lemon juice? She is completely running that show.
- Isn't the oven preheated? - Yeah.
So we should put the stuff that needs to go in the oven in the oven.
See, that's why I keep you around.
Sara will always take over everything.
Put her in a room, she fucking takes over.
- She's the pants right now.
- You're are the pants.
We say there's pumps and there's pants.
Myself and Taylor, pants.
Sara, pumps.
Pumps are the feminine girls.
Definitely touch up the makeup before they go out.
Wear high heels.
Even though you know that shit hurts.
Pants know how to swing a hammer.
They're usually the one in control.
You're doing a very attractive job.
You're a keeper.
I guess.
- Hey.
- How you doing? We have family dinners at my grandma's all the time.
I was pretty much raised by my grandmother and my dad.
The only time I go to my grandmother's is when my mom's not there.
My mom and I do not get along at all.
Like, it's a big family feud and division.
- I can't wait to eat.
- Oh! We're gonna have a banquet.
My family was real accepting when I came out.
It was real easy.
So it just never became a discussion, or a problem, or an issue.
It was acceptance from the start.
Everybody's asking about Natalie.
She's at home.
Once you have a good female that caters towards you and you cater towards her, it's different because that's unconditional love.
You cater to her.
And that you don't fuck around with your friends, you know what I'm saying? My grandmother and my aunt, my uncle and my dad, they all want me to settle down already.
I've been out in the scene and partying since the age of 21.
I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, Angel.
We had a really bad relationship.
Restraining order was put on her.
Like, crazy stuff.
So they're just, like, "wow, there's finally a nice girl.
Like, just fuck you know, settle down already.
" But I'm not ready for that.
I mean, you know, Natalie's low-key.
Natalie's go.
She's real good.
She is not a person gone crazy like Angel and the others.
The thing I like about Natalie, she's very, like, family-oriented.
- Right.
- Angel was very controlling.
- Yeah.
- There's my baby! Hey, look, come on here, honey.
That's my Natalie.
Look.
That's my Natalie.
- Hey.
- Hey.
She's very family-oriented.
- Look at her.
- Natalie.
Hi.
How are you? - We have a conversation.
- Don't feel uncomfortable, okay? We're having a conversation about me settling down.
- Have a seat.
- We said how much we love you.
Rose's family makes it easy to want to come around and hang out.
And they're very welcoming to me.
No, we're talking about her exes, okay? - Fuck all them exes.
- I know.
Seriously.
That's why they're exes.
I'm serious.
He's saying that you're good for Rose.
Yeah.
You know I love you.
- So far.
So far.
- So far you're g I think Rose's past relationship was probably not the best relationship.
And I think Rose's family they see Rose is actually happy now and is more herself.
And I'm sure that makes them happy.
There's nothing better than get along in harmony, you know what I'm saying? You're in this world here for a little time.
- Make the best of it.
- Make the best of it.
- Make the best of it.
- There you go.
- And making babies.
- What? - We're gonna what? - Have a baby.
We're gonna get pregnant.
Rose and I are at a point in our relationship where we have absolutely no time to waste.
Like, it's game time.
And when I'm in it, like, I'm in it to win it, you know? We already have a plan.
Who's going to donate the bubbling sperm? What do you mean you have a plan? Who's gonna donate? Talk to mom.
I want someone with, like, nice hair, good skin.
Not very many, like, health, you know, issues.
Nat has a time table.
But for me, it's my time table's whatever I want and those things won't fit right now.
I have enough responsibility.
So we have to wait.
- I'm still a kid.
- She'll always be a kid.
Okay, what are you gonna help with? Baby, when's dinner gonna be ready? Hold on.
What will you help me with that stuff? Mikey I don't want to do anything that I don't want to do right now, though.
I wait for Raquel to come home all the time.
It's the like the bane of my existence.
Generally, I'm starving to death because she hasn't come home to cook dinner yet.
- You're being bratty.
- I know.
- Please stop it.
- Okay.
What are you helping with? - I'm gonna watch.
- Okay.
And make sure you're doing everything exactly how you're supposed to do it.
That is incorrect.
That's not gonna happen.
We both work a lot, so by the time we both get home from a 12-hour day, it's like unwinding.
You know, so to reconnect in that space, you know, isn't always so easy.
So we do really value our time together.
I love you.
That's what I miss about New York.
All my gay boyfriends.
How do you never understand women, but yet, you fuck so many of them? Unbelievable.
I tell people you have magical powers all the time.
The power of the clam.
Oh, my God! It's supposed to symbolize a vagina.
According to Angie, I have power of the clam.
Whatever and this is the clam.
You harness the power of the clam.
Now, what I'm trying to say is profound here.
What I'm trying to say is this.
You date girls that are looking for relationships.
You don't date girls that are looking for a good time.
And, like but what girl is looking for what lesbian is looking for a good time? Tell me where she is.
- You.
- That's not true.
I wouldn't call myself a player.
Honestly, 'cause Other people might.
I don't try to play games with people.
However, I do like a lot of women.
I like women, so, you know, if that's the definition of a player, then maybe.
But I don't play games.
The fact of the matter is, I try to be as honest as possible.
You do have good intentions.
You are a really good person.
It just doesn't always come out that way.
I think that you say what people want to hear.
Unintentionally.
Because you do like them and you don't want to hurt their feelings.
And you also want to see where things will go.
I think everybody you date wants to But you date to be in a relation yeah, I know, but I think that the people that you date are disillusioned into thinking that it's gonna be more than what you're willing to give.
Right, except for the fact that You can say "except" all you want, Whit, but that's the reality of most of the situations that you find yourself in.
I just think you need to be more upfront.
The the time period between dating and relationship in the lesbian world, especially is very short.
Yeah.
Well, that's why maybe you need to slow things down a little bit.
- Baby! - Yeah? Come on! Okay! Kind of had a couple cocktails.
So by the time she comes home, I think I'm the man, and I have, like, a 12-inch cock.
And, you know, probably trying to pull her pants down or put my hands up her skirt or something, you know, completely inappropriate like that.
Come on, let's go to bed.
You can be Jillian Michaels and I'll be Jackie Warner.
We can swordfight it out.
Let's go! She's one of the most magnificent people I've ever met and she's so loving.
What is your weight loss goal? Tell me right now! Now what is it? What is it? She allows me to be who I am and not take anything away from you.
And, um, she has a really good sense of humor about it.
So thank God for that.
I think we're totally in love.
It's the Romeo and Juliet story, but they woke up and they reconnected, and they're living their lives somewhere.
Yeah.
I'm a top and she's a bottom.
That's pretty much it.
Except for when I'm a top and you're a bottom.
- Then - Shh.
Quit.
Hi! I'm Nikki.
Nice to meet you.
- Good to meet you.
- Hi, I'm Jill.
Hi, Jill.
I'm Camilla.
The thought of having to produce my wedding makes me so stressed.
I just want to show up that day.
So we put out a call to a wedding planner.
So Here we are.
So here we is.
Truly, I don't even know where to start.
Always start with the venue.
I mean, the good thing about L.
A.
is that, you know, it's a very event industry related town.
There's no shortage of places to rent.
From, you know, private estates to grand halls.
And, I mean, it can be a little bit more complicated to go with a private estate, 'cause you have to bring in every component.
But The advantages to that is that you can completely personalize it.
I do want a certain type of wedding.
It's gonna be very small and intimate.
And I just know that I want it to be elegant.
You said nondenominational.
Or is it well, we're both Jewish.
- Oh, okay.
- So, um We would certainly love to find a wonderful rabbi.
Okay.
And how traditional of a ceremony? I mean, you're gonna have chuppah and Chuppah, we want to break the glass.
- Sit down dinner? - Sit down dinner.
Okay.
A typical sort of four course? - Yes.
- Because it's small, um, I think we want to each have a best man - and a best woman.
- Okay.
I think that we want the food to be good.
And you can make gorgeous flowers and candles.
The way that I would prefer to do it is that you give me a budget.
Because I'm not gonna send you to venues that you're gonna fall in love with that you can't afford.
- That's fair.
- Yeah, you should, though.
- You should.
- Well, no.
I wanna see everything.
I've worked really hard to get where I am.
I left my parents' house with $500 when I was 21.
So I just really believe in working hard and playing hard.
What do you think the number and you can write it on your paper what do you think the number should be for us for this wedding? For your overall budget? Yeah, what do you think it should be? For what you kind of have in mind Yeah, but don't go by me.
Just a little bit more elegant.
I just want to know where you are.
Now, what do you think it should be? I think it feels on the high end.
So, from there, if we can kind of Sure.
I haven't had as much financial success as Nikki.
Thank you so much.
I will be in touch very soon.
I'll talk to you soon.
So I think that's probably where my sticker shock comes from.
No, we're fine.
We're good.
- This is our wedding.
-I know.
I want a balance between having everything we want and not going crazy because it's it is a weekend.
No, we're not we're gonna stick to the that is it.
I could get crazy.
I certainly am the one to open up the checkbook pretty quickly.
Really be honest with me right now.
- What is your hesitation? - That's a lot of money.
I've never really purchased anything this expensive before.
And we just have to realize it's a day, and that we don't want to go too overboard.
Breakin' the bank.
Da, cha, done.
That's the budget.
Yeah, I already put some of that on.
- You want to put more? - Yeah, you need it right here.
Tonight, we're going to Crown Bar.
It's a cool spot.
It's fairly new.
Um, it's a little bit more sophisticated crowd.
Just gonna make a real great night out of it.
See what happens.
I'm wearing this.
I would say I go out probably about three times a week.
That could be a lie.
I could go out almost every night.
And tonight, Crown Bar in L.
A.
is definitely the place to be.
VoilĂ .
Let me have fun tonight.
- Hey - Let me have fun tonight.
- No, you know what? - Don't get up in the business.
Hey, you know where to draw the line, we're good.
If you know where to draw the line and you remember that you have a girlfriend, you're not gonna have a problem.
Baby Forget, that's when you have a problem.
Let's go.
So I need to make a left, right? Make a left and then bust a Will you please help me make a left? Okay.
On both sides? Go.
Shit.
The circle of lesbians within L.
A.
, it's big, but not big at all.
All you have to do is mention to one friend in the lesbian circle that you're going to Crown Bar, and, you know, 15 minutes later, you have an entire room full of crazy lesbos.
I love it.
It's great.
Hey! Hey I'm gonna go down here.
I want to meet that I wanna go meet that girl.
I wanna go meet that girl, so let's get the drinks.
When Whitney goes out to bars, she does not have any inhibitions about Chatting people up At all.
- It's just her character.
- She's naturally social.
Wherever she goes, she meets a lot of people.
- What's your name? - Tracy.
- Tracy, Whitney.
- Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Let's get a fuckin' drink.
Wait, wait.
Where are you going? I'm, like, out of here.
I need a drink.
What do you mean, you're out of here? - We're gonna get a drink.
- I'm kidding.
Where do you live? Uh, I live in Silver Lake.
Okay, so we're, like, practically neighbors.
- Where do you live? - I mean, I live in Hollywood, but, like, right near Silver Lake.
A little transfer.
I can call to you.
We can make a cup with a string.
Please.
Yeah, I know.
Fuckin' sorry.
It's a joke.
I don't think it's funny.
Why is she mad? I don't think it's funny.
Why are you why are you getting all weird? I'm not getting weird, I just don't think it's funny stuff.
Up until I met Natalie, you know, I was out, about, you know, girl after girl after girl after girl.
And I was a big cheater.
When you've been a certain way for so long, um, it's kind of hard just to change overnight.
You could never physically pick up a girl.
Babe are you sure? 'Cause I could pick you up.
Dude! So if I did, would you be okay? - No.
- Okay, so stop.
You're getting all crazy.
No, I'm not.
I'm just telling you to stop.
Honey, please.
I'm sure many girls are attracted to Rose.
I guess we're still kind of figuring out, um Where where to draw the line as far as, uh, other girls.
I have to remind her every time I go out that we're going out together.
And we gotta stick together.
So What it is? What it is? What it is? Tracy.
Tracy.
Over here, baby girl.
- What? - What? What? What? - Scarlett, Sara.
- Are you guys dating, or ? Um What, Sara and I? Yeah.
Um Are you guys seeing each other? I'm a little irritated with Whitney.
I just feel like, "where are you? We're here together.
We're hanging out.
" You don't have to introduce me as your girlfriend, but, you know, I feel like she's not paying attention to me.
- Are you a smoker? - I'm not.
You're not? I quit smoking for two years.
- You did? - I did.
I quit coffee for two years.
- You did? - That didn't last, though.
- I love coffee.
- Now I'm back on.
I love coffee.
So you're on to coffee.
Coffee.
That's it.
So good.
We should go get coffee.
We get coffee and I won't smoke a cigarette during it.
All right.
My girlfriend has a thing for, like, odor, like, smell.
How long have you been with your girlfriend? Almost four months.
Yeah, like, three and a half.
It's kind of cool.
It's, like, young love.
It's new, you know, new love.
New love.
Maybe not young love, but new love.
So you're in the honeymoon stage.
I really don't know why Whitney's talking to Tracy, but Sara's getting heated up about the situation.
- All right, I'll see you later.
- All right.
She hates me.
I don't.
You know, the thing about Sara is she seemed to be acting weird, and I was not having it.
I wanted to know what the fuck is going on.
I don't know what to think.
Like, I feel, like I'm feeling a little jealous.
- Of what? - I don't know.
I feel like you and that girl are flirting.
Maybe you want to hook up with that chick, and I feel like you should.
Are you serious? You got to be fucking kidding me right now.
You're really trying to turn around some fucking chick that I just fucking met five minutes ago that I don't that has a girl? I don't want to put myself out there if it's if it's in vain.
Fuck it.
Like, just that's it.
I'm done.
Babe, get your car.
Get them! I'm driving.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm kidding.
Come here.
This is so retarded.
I don't know why the fuck I don't know what to what to say.
Oh.
I feel like you're looking for a, like A way out? Yeah.
It's not that hard.
I was in a relationship for four years.
That's looking for a way out.
Right, and I feel like you're looking for one.
Why? I would just be like I wouldn't give a fuck.
I'd be like, "listen, I'm just not that into you.
" No, and that's pretty much what you said in there.
"Bye.
See you later.
" Yeah, and that's what you said pretty much in there.
Yeah, that is, Sara.
No, I said I wasn't into it, not you.
Into you 100%.
There's no, like, percentage left out of that.
Like, I'm into you.
It has nothing to do with you.
It has to do with the situation at hand.
What situation? Like, I'm holding you back.
Honestly, it's, like What are you holding me back from? I don't fucking know.
I just don't want to, and that makes me feel uneasy.
That is not my fuckin' type.
And regardless of any type I have, I'm telling you that I like you.
So if you don't Come here to me, okay? If I could just read your mind and just know You don't need to read my mind, because I'm telling you what the fuck is going on.
A little contract that said, "this is how I feel, I swear to God, blah, blah, blah," sign here, I'd be like, " okay, that's it.
" - Right.
- I'm signing too.
Is that possible? I don't know why.
I think commitment makes me nervous.
Basically, I hate making myself vulnerable.
I always try to put walls up, because I'm nervous that someone will change their mind or pull out, and, you know, I don't want to get hurt.
I don't want to be exposed.
You've been making comments about the other girls, walking away and getting lost in, you know, your own world, because we're having a great time.
Ugh, why are you so fucking cute? I hate you.
The thing about lesbians is you can go from fighting to fucking, basically, uh, the same night.
Ah, fuck, that feels so good.
Ooh.
You just made me come.
You're so fucking sexy.
Fucking you're really good at this.
I want to have champagne in the park.
Me too.
It's not gonna happen, though.
Why? Last night wasn't just sex.
It was it was more than that.
Sara and I have taken our relationship, I think, to the next level.
You're not gonna make your flight.
You want me to miss it, huh? Mm-hmm.
Today Sara is leaving.
She's going back up to San Francisco.
I'm not gonna actually leave bed today at all.
You're not? It's my, um, protest against your leaving.
I don't want to.
I don't have a choice.
It makes me sad.
I'm not usually like this.
And why is it this girl that's making me feel slightly crazy? She lives in San Francisco.
You know she doesn't even live here.
Come on back with me.
Unlike San Francisco, I need a car here.
Right.
So it'll happen.
You know, I think people come up with such a romanticized version of the term "in love.
" I hate you so much.
Right now.
God.
I don't know where the boundaries begin and end.
Do you do you just know? So we'll just get undressed and get back in bed.
Sure.
Lust is easy for me.
Love is hard.
We'll do that.
Lust is exciting.
Love is scary.
Let me just get this for you.
Oh, my God.
Fuck is wrong with my car? It's almost like everything is trying to keep her here.
Which is that is that a sign? Are you guys showing me something here? Ah.
My car was not supposed to start.
I'm pissed that on the third try it actually did.
I thought I cut those wires last night.
I don't want you to go.
Oh, I'm gonna crush your hand.
I've only skimmed the surface, finding out what's gonna happen with Sara and I, and I want to know, you know, what else there could be to come.
I'll miss you.
I'll miss you too.
All right, call me when you get there and let me know you got there safe.
Bye.
So after dropping off Sara in departures, I have one more thing to do.
Hey.
This this is gonna be good.
Let me welcome you to L.
A.
Welcome to L.
A.
It's right down here.
I'll get this one.
You don't worry about anything.

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