The Real L Word s01e05 Episode Script

Free Pass

Listen, here's the thing about a hundred footer I have no idea what a hundred footer is.
Is that the description of my penis? A hundred footer is a lesbian that you can see from a hundred feet away.
That sounds like a Subway sandwich.
I could probably be a hundred footer, maybe I don't know.
I think I'm like a 50 footer.
Sometimes I can be like a hundred footer if I'm like, you know, butching it up and maybe like building a fence.
When you see that dominant, masculine Like the short haircuts, the crew cuts Maybe they're wearing a flannel shirt and Birken stocks? It's kind of like very San Francisco 1970s me.
You're like, "damn! She's a lesbian.
" You can kinda guess, but who knows now? - I mean, they might be a hipster.
- They might be German.
We like to play that game, German or gay? Previously on The Real L Word Oh Oh, my God! This is amazing! This is exactly what we need, and I'm so excited and pumped up to spend time with each other.
This is stage 3.
This is gonna be fucking amazing.
This is the biggest production I've ever produced for Fashion Week.
We have no fucking stage for Fashion Week now.
Unfucking believable.
I work an eight hour day, and I come home and I work another fucking four hour day.
I really need an assistant.
I need you to come in and help me.
Oh, my God, that's so crazy.
She's been mentioning that she's tired of hair, wants to quit.
I just need someone in there like now.
I'll pay you double what they're paying you.
Like 80% of me wants to do it.
The other 20% is kinda like, "what the fuck are you doing?" Yeah, you guys! That's gorgeous.
What? $13,000 for two dresses.
We met with Camilla the wedding planner.
- What is her fee? - $9,000.
Come on, close this, Nikki.
If we can do the nirvana with you for 7 I think we can move ahead.
Would it be all right if I maybe got back to you first thing in the morning? - Totally fine.
- Absolutely.
Please.
I think she's got a lot to offer.
- She's beautiful.
- She's okay.
She's just okay? Are you crazy? - She's like my pimp.
- I invited Sheila, who is a commercial agent to meet Tracy.
We want her in our agency.
So you gonna come into our office? Stamie's sort of pushing me towards modeling, and I'm realizing it's something I should probably pursue.
What are you doing? Like are you asking me if I hooked up? Yeah.
I'm hooked up.
Donna's going back up to San Francisco.
Romi is really upset because I've been talking to Miranda.
I don't know what the fuck is going on.
- I'm pissed right now.
- What the fuck did you pull me into? So ready to go to San Francisco.
Both Romi and Tor are mad at me.
Things are not good.
So I can't wait to get the fuck out of L.
A.
right now and leave this girl drama behind.
Sara just text me and said, "wake up already and get over here.
" I'm actually very excited to see Sara.
You know, we've been talking on the phone or talking online, and I'm always in a constant state, trying to figure out what our relationship is If there is one, is there a possibility? Who knows? Pfff.
I have no commitments to Whitney at this point.
The whole thing is ridiculous.
I'm so beyond it at this point, and she can do whatever she wants to.
Have fun! See ya.
I'm picking up Scarlett, and we are hittin' the road.
Hi, baby.
I'm happy I'm actually going with you.
I'm happy you're coming with me.
I'm excited.
We're both super stoked.
And San Francisco is always a good place to visit.
L.
A.
's the place to live, but things get debaucherous in San Francisco.
That's all have to say about that.
God, this house is a mess, dude.
Like it's really this is the worst I think it's been.
I am a hair stylist, and at the moment I'm kinda just at a point where I just need a break.
I just need to take a step back and kinda just reevaluate what I really want.
No wonder I'm so grumpy.
Take some time off.
Natalie hasn't quit her job, and it's been a few days, um, of back and forth and, "I'm not sure," an d, "oh, I already did," or, "no, I didn't.
" And I'm just like beyond frustrated.
Have a good day.
I will.
I'm sure you will.
You know, she hasn't made a commitment to me even though she said she wants to work with me and kind of leaving me in limbo, and it's just pissing me the fuck off.
Chicken and food? Very exciting, puppies.
The other day, we had a little situation with Camilla, the wedding planner.
We tried to negotiate her and her price, and Nik thinks we might have offended her, which I certainly hope we didn't.
So we're waiting to hear back from her.
I'm just hoping she still wants to work with us.
With my career, representing directors and producing content for television, it's like I don't want to produce my wedding.
I don't want the stress.
Message sent today at 10:22 a.
m.
Hi, Nikki and Jill, this is Camilla.
Please don't worry.
I was not insulted at all.
I told you! I understand what it's like to be on a budget.
I'm very glad to hear you decided to go with us, and I'm so excited to work together.
Again, thank you so much.
- Bye bye.
- Yay! I told you you didn't offend her.
So the wedding planner's sorted.
Check that off our list.
Now we're on to dresses.
You can't back out now.
- You better love me forever.
- You can't back out now! 'Cause she's very expensive.
Very expensive.
So Vegas was amazing.
It was great to have Raquel come out, because we don't have that much time together.
But right now, my clients are paying me a lot of money to produce a great event for them, and I have to deliver.
I've worked so hard for the last eight years on Fashion Week, and my relationship always has to take a backseat to that.
So we're heading back to Sunset Gower Studios to meet up with Terri, because it turns out that we've lost our stage 'cause they booked a feature film on it.
So now we have to find a place to have L.
A.
Fashion Week.
Always it's great to see you.
You look beautiful, as always.
Yeah, thank you, thank you.
Terri's busy throwin' curve balls our way.
I hear.
We don't we don't have a room anymore.
So we need to have a backup plan.
Okay.
So we're gonna use your creativity.
You give me a blank space, and we'll make it anything you want.
Thank God I have the best production guy in the world, Ian.
He will literally find a solution for anything.
Terri mentioned an outdoor space in the back lot.
We're gonna cross our fingers and really hope this is a space that's gonna work for us.
- It's just stressing me out.
- Don't stress.
Easy for you to say.
You don't have to pay the bills at the end of the day.
You can just show up and look cute like you do every day, easily.
- I learned it from you.
- Ha ha ha ha ha! This is the stage for Dexter.
This is usually their base camp area, so it's great.
- This is actually perfect.
- This'll probably be - the best place - That way we're out of everybody's way.
And then we can have something fun in the front that is now a grand entrance opening.
- Okay.
- And we can actually maybe put a big 24inch or 36inch disco ball up there and have it goin' on - He's getting excited.
- I know.
Look at this! We'll make it fun and exciting.
It's a great location.
However, it brings a whole new set of problems, financially and logistically.
If we're gonna use an outside location, we have to tent the entire area.
So our costs are gonna be a lot higher than if we would have been able just to pay for the studio that we needed.
But right now, there are no other options.
Gimme the skinny what is a fucking 10,000 square foot tent gonna be? The tent alone is gonna cost you 15 grand.
There's no fucking way.
I can't do it.
I know.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
We have a limited amount of money and resources that we're working with to build out L.
A.
Fashion Week.
Unfortunately, this tenting is so not in our budget.
This would be more than half of our budget, and it is going to wipe us out.
There's just no budget for 15 15 grand.
- Show me, honey.
- Hey Show me the money! I'd love to say it would rain from the sky We need to find another sponsor.
- See what we can do.
- Yeah.
For sure.
Romi That was ridiculous.
- About Romi? - Yeah no, about Sara.
This is what she says about Sara.
She's like, I just don't see the chemistry between you two.
Which I don't understand, 'cause I actually You have the most chemistry with her.
Don't you think? Sara and I are a lot alike.
And that could either be fantastic or disastrous.
I wanna have a long all night lovemaking session.
I'm like hoping that I don't get my period magically.
Seriously, right now, can I just do a handstand or something to keep this period from not coming out of my body? Because there's a lot to do in San Francisco.
I wish there was some pill you could take to put it off for like a day.
In lesbian sex, you could be fucked if you have your period, the other girl has their period.
Until you get into a common rotation where you're both synced up, you're kind of working with But, you know, personally, I don't care.
I've earned my red wings.
- We're so gay.
- We're so gay.
Ha ha ha! Hey, babe, it's me.
My dad just actually got here right now.
Gimme a call when you're on your way.
Bye.
- Hey.
- Hi, Rose.
You ready? - What's up, dad? - Whoa! Look at you.
Tonight I'm gonna go to a lesbian wedding reception with my dad.
Jessica's a really good friend of my dad.
First time I've seen you in a dress.
What do you mean? I went to the last wedding with you and I wore a dress.
I think they've been friends for about four years or so.
It's pretty cool that my dad's so open and comfortable with lesbianism.
I'm gonna show you the card that I got.
You're gonna like it.
So she invited my father, and he's taking me.
And hopefully Natalie will, you know, meet us later on.
It should be nice.
Roberto Rosa - and Natalie.
- Natalie.
When I went to get the card, what I had to do was I was looking around, and all of them had like the man and woman hand.
- Yeah, right.
- Or like, you know, - bride and groom.
- There's no unisex.
- Well, I found one.
- Yeah? Yeah.
You gonna leave the light on? No? It's Natalie text messaging me.
I'm gonna text 'em, even though she can navigate.
'Cause she's a little bit lenta sometimes.
- Nope.
Not gonna work.
- I'm not forcing you, but I'm asking, to be peace in the family - Tell her that I said okay.
- Just enough for everybody to get along, be together like before.
'Cause grandma's the one that's getting hurt.
My mother and I haven't spoken in probably close to about six to seven months.
You know, we're pretty strong willed, so whenever we have a difference of opinion, it can tend to turn into a long, drawn-out battle.
And on top of it all, my mom calls my ex-girlfriend angel all the time, and I'm just not down with it.
I mean, everything they're trying to do this because, you know, she's your mom's mom, and she's your grandmother, and she doesn't wanna take sides.
I know.
My parents divorced when my mom was pregnant with me, and my grandmother raised me, being the mother figure, my dad being the disciplinarian.
So my grandmother means everything to me.
That's my point I just want everybody to get along like before.
I don't want to make a bad situation worse.
Okay.
Well, let me approach her.
You approach her first, and then you tell me See what she says.
Okay.
We had two dress designers that I've worked with on a production come and meet with us Anna and Ella.
And they basically made a variation on a theme of a dress that I loved.
So this is what she wrote.
Remember we sent her that email about how expensive the dress was? Yeah.
She said, "hey, Nikki and Jill, thanks for your email explaining your thoughts to me.
I understand what you're saying, and I appreciate your perspective.
I probably should have given you a wider range in the beginning.
I'm sorry if you feel misled.
I, too, was a little surprised by how quickly the dollars multiplied.
But this is the nature of custom-made clothing.
And it'll almost always cost more than a store version.
I or Ella will be very happy to connect you to a shop or a tailor that could assist you.
It's very important.
Have a wonderful day.
And you should get what you're looking for.
" It's exorbitant.
I can't I can't on principle.
I think it's exorbitant.
And listen, I know you love the dress, but we will find you something similar.
- She's not the only option.
- Yeah I am upset.
That's a lot of money.
$6,000.
More than that.
We're wearing it for one day.
- I mean - It's 12 grand.
I want to have my special dress, and I thought this was it.
It may not be it.
There might be something else waiting for me.
I will figure it out.
I'm not gonna It's a dress.
It's my wedding dress, but there's nothing to panic about.
Yet.
They have, um, dresses on, uh, little Melrose.
Let's go there.
- Okay.
- We'll see what they carry.
We'll go look at dresses, and we'll start over.
Can I see a credit card for you for incidentals? - Are you going out tonight? - I was debating - on the Flourish.
- Flourish? Yeah, I'm going there.
Yeah.
Tonight is the Flourish Party.
I'm super-stoked.
Why do my eyelids look like a saggy vagina? Flourish is a once a month party that two of my friends throw at a club in San Francisco.
It's one excuse to like try to look your best.
Very attractive people go, including Sara, who will be gogo dancing tonight.
So I'm letting Scarlett do my face up.
She also gets joy out of this.
- You are so femme.
- A hard femme.
I mean a hard femme.
Whitney has a problem with me calling her butch in any way.
So I compromised and I call her either a soft butch or a hard femme.
I think it's good compromising.
Look at my left boob.
Left.
- Looks like you have - How much are you putting on? No, no, no, it's not how much I'm putting on.
It's I'm curling it.
See? Look.
- Oh, ho! Whoa! Hey Fugazi.
- Shut up.
I fuckin' look so good right now with these eyebrows.
Scarlett won't be going to Flourish with me.
- What do I do, close my eyes? - Just close your eyes.
One of the promoters is her ex girlfriend.
I think it's really a smart and adult decision to not go.
Call me when you're done, okay? Okay.
And if you're too drunk to remember, then I'll see you tomorrow.
That's not mine.
Uh, hey, I'm not going to ever be too drunk to remember.
I'm almost done.
I need like two more minutes.
Your mom's on Facebook? Yep! - Go on friend request here.
- Are you serious? Yeah.
- You're gonna? - I did already.
- You did? - I friend requested your mom.
- Let me see.
- She's gonna be my friend on the Internet, but not in real life.
She's gonna be my virtual mother in law.
Tracy's been out for five years, and I think she's at a point where she needs her mom now.
You know, we all want our mom's support in what we do.
And also, you wanna share your life with your mom.
And especially now that she has a key to my house and we're you know, serious She'd like to tell her mom about it.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna get a phone call tomorrow, probably.
I'm gonna get a phone call, but she's not gonna talk about it.
She'll like allude to it.
I think her parents maybe would have come around sooner if they didn't have to deal with their own, you know, breakup of their marriage.
Your dad is next, b-yotch! My mother and father are recently divorced.
It's a new thing in the last couple of years.
It kind of shifted the family a bit.
And it's, um it's been interesting.
- Look, that's my little baby.
- Baby, I just friend requested your step-mom.
My father got remarried to a very, very, very young girl.
He, um, kind of made a joke about "you should never date somebody younger than your youngest dau ghter," and he did.
You should write a message to them if you're gonna do that.
Hi, I'm Stamie.
I'm Tracy's friend.
We are, we're just friends.
That's what they call us, anyway.
"How's your how's your friend doing?" Hey, I'm Stamie.
I bang your daughter.
- I'd like to be your friend.
- Hey.
Your mom is gonna kill me.
A part of me didn't think there was a hidden agenda when my father invited me to a lesbian wedding reception.
The more that we've spoken about my relationship with Natalie and his wanting to see me settle down with her, I'm kind of thinking he wants me just to see that it's possible that two lesbians can get married.
Hold on one second.
Can you hear me? So Natalie calls me.
Can you calm down for a second? She's like freaking out, you know, she's upset.
Okay, no, no, no, no.
What you were supposed to do was make a left on eighth I did say make a left on eighth.
When you exit, you okay.
Nat, slow the fuck down and relax for a second, seriously.
She's screaming and yelling at me that I gave her the wrong directions.
And to top it off, on her having a miserable day at work, 'cause she hates her job, to coming over to the wedding, now she's lost, so she's just like pissed.
Well, then just go home.
What's your problem? Well, then you know what? On your drive over here, fucking correct yourself real quick.
'Cause your attitude sucks.
Well, that's not my fucking problem.
Don't make me pay the price for your drama.
Okay, well, I'm standing out here with my dad, and I'm not gonna deal with your attitude.
We're waiting outside.
- What now? - She's just being drama.
Like she's taking out all her fucking - Don't get upset with her.
- Dad, I don't give a shit.
Right there.
Look.
She's passing us.
Call her up.
The fact that Natalie's talking disrespectfully to me in front of my dad, it's a little embarrassing.
And now the whole dynamic of the night shifted.
- She's so - Okay, let me, uh Dumb.
You're like retarded right now.
Like super stupid.
Okay, but check your attitude.
My dad's like walking over there.
She has to go to the restroom.
Go to the restroom.
- Thanks, dad.
- Okay.
Thank you.
My dad's cool with our relationship, and he loves Natalie.
But regardless of his acceptance, she really needs to stop her shit.
And just sort of, you know, save it for later.
You know, like my dad's there.
I really hardly get to spend, a lot of time with him.
You've been treating me like shit since the moment I got on the phone with you.
Here's the thing I must have called you like seven times, - and I'm so frustrated! - What do you Let me fucking unwind for a second.
So then don't be a bitch with me in the process! I won't, I won't.
I wanted to talk to you.
- Should I just go home? - Did you hear what I just said? - I did.
- Don't be a bitch with me.
- I'm not being - My father's here.
Have respect, dude.
I'm just annoyed.
I worked all day.
I'm emotional about quitting my job.
And then I go to this place, and it's super loud, and I'm supposed to have a smile on my face, but my mind was preoccupied with work, and I just wanna go home.
Thank you.
How's it going? All right.
How you doing? All right.
How's it going? - Hi.
- Hi.
Oh! I get to Flourish, and all of my friends are there.
Jack is there, Julia's there, Taylor the whole gamut.
I love you so much.
There's lesbians fucking taking pictures and girls in cages dancing.
Oh, my God, whoa.
I can tell at this point, the party is gonna be off the hook.
Cheers! Sara, of course, in her nature, is gogo dancing tonight.
Oh, my God.
She's so fucking hot.
She wears no bra.
And just that.
God has answered my prayers, and in those prayers came a lace onesie.
Oh, my God, she's so hot.
She has a lace outfit on right now that is like completely hot.
I like her a lot.
The other girls are like, "oh, here I am.
I'm looking for you ," and she's like Fucking lay it all out there Yeah.
She's like, " I'm not really sure.
" Jack gets in the cage with Sara, and it is basically every teenage boy's wet dream.
Oh, my God! What was that? - What was that? - They're both in there.
Oh, my God, wow.
What is that? What's that? Oh, my God.
I'm like coming in my pants right now.
I don't tend to be a jealous person in general, but everybody in the club can't keep their hands off her.
So at this point, I'm just hoping she's coming back to my hotel room.
How you doing, boy? I was having a horrible day.
I just created a bad situation for her, and she kinda wants to not be mad at me but can't help it because I was such a bitch.
Are you gonna make yourself something to eat? No.
When I'm really hurt, I don't wanna talk to you when you wanna talk.
I need I'll talk to you when I'm ready.
And I think in that sense, we're alike.
I don't wanna say anything to offend her because I'm upset, and vice versa.
I'm really tired.
I had a really long day today.
I really like I really did.
At this point, I'm like really livid.
I really don't even want to hear it, 'cause I know she's now sorry, but for me, like the night's over, and, you know, it wasn't a good night, and she kind of spoiled what could have been a good night.
I'm going to bed, okay? You're not ready to go to bed yet? What? You're not ready to go to bed yet? I don't really care.
I just don't even want to talk to her.
I don't want to hear her.
So I'd just rather just leave it alone and let it go for a bit.
- Hey, remember me? - Of course I remember you.
I forgot all about you, actually.
- Yeah.
- Wait so what's happening? We're gonna go back to the hotel.
Let's go, let's go.
Sara likes to pretend I don't exist.
I don't know what that means, but I think both of us are so guarded that we have to kind of ease into seeing each other again.
So we're back at the hotel.
It's definitely time to, uh, after hours party.
We definitely are realizing and we would like to take things further physically, probably as soon as possible.
Julia said she'll her and Gina'll be here in 20 minutes.
- Where's that guy? - Who? This is when the party really begins.
Okay, bye.
- Ready, you guys? - I know.
Get out.
- Hey, playahs.
- Get out, faggots! We need to make it rain.
We're talking 20 fucking grand.
We're coming down to the wire, and this is definitely the biggest production I've ever done.
So we're looking to pull in some dollars, try to raise some capital for this tenting.
And it's not just the tent.
It's everything that has to be brought in for the tent.
It's the permit, the extra insurance we need to bring in, flooring now There's so many other little things that add up that become now 15,000 turns into 20,000 in one second.
Fuck! So now we have to go out and whore ourselves out a little bit and pull in some big-time sponsors.
Hello.
Hey, listen, I wanted to give you a shout out, because I don't know if you got my message about Fashion Week.
I'm fucking sweating on the inside so bad.
Like, oh, my God.
I can't believe we have to come up with $20,000 to tent Fashion Week.
I've never had to do this.
It's $1,000 to participate in events.
I've never had a disappointed client in this event.
Elena with tough love.
Look, obviously, the sooner you could let me know that you want to get on board, and then we can advertise for you.
I look forward to talking to you.
Bye.
Bye.
This is insane.
How are we gonna pull this off? - I feel like crap today.
- Well, at least you look good.
I got to, like, pull some stuff for this shoot.
Remind me what time your shoot is tomorrow.
Around noon.
I'm sort of starting to dabble in modeling, and Sheila DiMarco is a commercial talent and modeling agent, and she's also a friend of Stamie's.
And she recently got me the job modeling for the BOUND photo shoot, which is one of the premier lesbian magazines.
She said if you have jeans and then if you have shirts, then you have jewelry and then if you have a jacket - and then if you have - So bring your Entire wardrobe.
I'm a little nervous.
It's weird to kind of be put in the spotlight and asked to, you know, perform.
So this is a little odd.
Did she say "dresses" on there? I think she said if you had a strap on, she wanted you to bring that.
I'm gonna call my mom.
Oh, I'm gonna listen.
I'm at a point where I feel like I should be able to talk about my life with my mom.
I mean, everything in my life Stamie, the kids, the just everything.
Stamie's sort of pushing me to, like, grow some balls and take a risk.
Hello? Hi, mama bear.
- Hi, sweetie, how are you? - I'm sick.
What do you have? I think I have the flu.
I don't really know.
- The flu? - I think so.
I think Stamie's kids gave it to me.
Ay.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I talk to her every day, every morning.
And when I can't mention Stamie or the kids, it's kind of superficial or flat, and that's not the relationship that I want with my mom, who's the most important person in my life.
You have any advice? Right, I should go to sleep right now.
Yeah.
Okay, sweetie, I love you.
I love you too.
Okay, bye.
Bye bye.
My mom didn't mention that Stamie friend requested her.
I think it was too much for her to deal with it, but it's gotten to a point where we've taken baby steps forward, but I want a little bit more.
She give a lot of good insight? - Mom? - She sounded preoccupied.
She sounded busy.
I'm so close with my mom.
We have a very strong bond.
So Jill and I are gonna go with my mom and take a look at some dresses.
I'm really hoping that this dress is it.
Baby, this dress came all the way from London to be on your body.
I called this designer, David Fielden.
He's the original dress designer of the dress that Anna and Ella were gonna make for me.
And I asked, "who carries you in The States?" And they told me that there was a dress shop right around the corner from here on Robertson called Les Habitudes that could get the dress for me.
I'm going in.
- Wow.
- Oh, my God, it's gorgeous.
I'm getting butterflies.
- Really? - Yes.
Look at you.
You're totally getting emotional.
You look beautiful already.
- It's kind of, like, perfect.
- It's kind of perfect.
I kind of don't need anything done to it.
Oh, my You look gorgeous.
Yore a bride.
I will be.
Okay, and here comes - My bride.
- The bride.
- Let me see.
Let me see.
- She looks gorgeous.
Stunning.
- Honest? - Oh, my God.
Nik, it is gorgeous.
- It's gorgeous.
- Made for her.
Yes, made for you.
This dress fit me perfectly, and it's half of the price of the dresses from the dressmaker.
Okay, Jilly Gold.
Mama, they had to do some things to it.
Aah! God, this is gorgeous.
And this goes all the way up, but they're gonna tuck it in.
My God.
Oh, my God.
What's not to like? Really? You girls are glamorama.
That's it.
That's the one.
That's the one.
Yeah.
Send that to your mommy.
I need to get tucked and held.
You just have to there's nothing to be held or tucked.
I want my dress to be elegant and simple.
I want I want it to feel right.
I want it to, like inside I really just want to feel it.
And I really do like this dress, but I'm not feeling that feeling when you know.
- Bustled? - Like, in the belly.
- What do you mean "bustled"? - No, they need to Baby, they need to fit this to you right now.
It's hard to not have my mom here.
Practically speaking, she would be a tremendous asset to have.
She's more like Nik.
She's a lot more decisive than I am.
You're planning a wedding.
You're trying on dresses.
Your mom should be there.
Jilly Gold, you want to ? - Come in this weekend? - Yeah.
Are you done? Is this it? I don't want it sold, babe.
Are you buying it now? Of course I'm buying mine.
Well, can you hold it? How does it work? - No.
- Yeah, well, yeah.
No, I'm buying the dress.
I'm buying the dress.
You ordered it for me.
It fits like a glove.
I'm buying the dress.
Nik she's like me.
She really just knows what's gonna work for her.
And what would surprise me is if she was indecisive, I would know that it wasn't her dress.
What about mine? Yours I can put on hold for 24 hours.
- 24 hours? - Yeah.
Oh, Jesus.
Jill is not as decisive as Nik.
So is she sold on it? Absolutely.
But she always needs that extra time.
I know that's her dress.
You're ready to just buy your dress? Yes.
- Why wouldn't I buy that dress? - It's gorgeous.
Give me one reason why I shouldn't.
It's gorgeous.
- Do you love it? - I do.
- Thanks for coming.
- We needed a mom.
We needed a mommy.
Anytime.
Let's have a drink.
Cheers.
To fun times and night swimming, preferably in the nude.
Last night Sara and I had an amazing time together, and I feel good about it.
I think it's a successful trip so far.
Like, all my girlfriends, like, my best friends I realize, when I look back, that they weren't just my best friends.
Like, I had crushes on them, and we would, like, play house and, like, make out.
And I'd, like, make presents for them.
I'm like, " I just made this for you.
" And thinking back, it was like, "I actually was, like, kind of in love with you.
" Yeah.
I would convince my girlfriends that we were practicing for boys.
That was my excuse.
I'd be like, "no, we're gonna practice for the boys, so we're really good.
" And it was just like, "oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
" Like, we'd do whatever, and then Pamela So we all went down on each other, and then it was Pamela's turn, and Pamela had, like, three new pubic hairs that were never there before.
And so we all freaked out that she had pubic hair, and nobody would go down on her, and she started crying and went and hid in her room and sat in the corner crying, because she had pubic hair, and nobody wanted to go down on her.
Do you guys think it's at all possible for women to fuck the way men do? Pretty much.
Because I feel like women get too attached.
- I don't.
- What? But the thing is, irregardless if it's unattached, I'm still super, um like, intense and passionate.
So it's still intense and passionate, but it's just, like, in the moment in the moment, but the next day, I'm like, okay, you know, it was an intense moment at the time, but now I'm done, and I'm over it.
Okay, bye.
You know? I've always kind of been like that.
Is that what's happening here? I don't know.
Hearing Sara say that she can be passionate with somebody and then it can be over I mean, I can relate to it, honestly.
I mean, I'm sure I've done similar things in the past.
I would hope that it wouldn't happen to me.
Check, please.
Hello? I have something up my sleeve for a bromance day.
I can't tell you, but it entails call and order strippers.
Me and my friends, we do, like, bromance days, whether it's playing basketball or, you know, running around.
But we're planning something a little different for tomorrow night.
I'll order the girl from, like, 7:00 to 9:00.
- Two hours? - Girl, that's a lot.
And Nat gets off at by, like, 10:00, you know? You are such a fool.
Don't tell anybody, dude.
This is, like, down-low.
I'm not even telling Nat.
- This is just us.
- Okay.
All day Natalie's been texting me and apologizing.
But she needs to understand that there are rules.
If she wants to be bitchy and snappy and angry, fine, but now I'm getting a free pass.
All right, I got to go.
I got to get off the phone.
I'll call you guys in the morning.
- Okay, goodbye.
- Bye.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- How are you? - Nice tights.
Thanks.
- Your lips are cold.
- It's cold outside.
Like your heart.
- Hey, that's mean.
- I'm kidding.
Oh, hi, papa.
What? What are you thinking? But I keep feeling like like, I keep feeling like you're gonna say something.
You know I'm not gonna say anything.
I know you're bothered by me.
It's okay.
I was an ass last night.
I was fucking frustrated beyond belief and annoyed and stressed out and, like, everything all at once.
You just need to be careful, 'cause you crossed, like, a major line yesterday, only 'cause my dad was there.
If he wasn't there, I wouldn't be as upset as I am.
You know what I mean? The way I spoke to you wasn't right.
That I get.
I mean, I was either way.
Even though I was frustrated and annoyed, I shouldn't have spoken to you that way, you know? But sometimes when you're frustrated and annoyed and there's 50 million things going on, like, you can't even talk to me, or you don't You can't even hear my voice.
The way I spoke to you wasn't right.
The fact that your dad heard was embarrassing.
Okay.
I'm gonna go take a shower.
You okay? Yeah.
Are you okay? Yeah.
You just why you gotta be so fucking dramatic? I know.
Okay? Okay, I'm gonna go shower.
I'm leaving tomorrow.
I have some unfinished business with Sara.
I'm not sure if she has faith in us or if maybe she doesn't feel the same way.
Whatever it is, we're both going into this, like, with our fists up, like, blocking our face.
That's what it seems like.
I don't really know how you feel about me.
I do like you, but what am I supposed to do, you know? Yeah.
No, that's not what I'm saying.
I'm just saying, like, I don't It's like, I definitely can see being with you maybe, but also, like, if that weren't to happen, I can also see being your friend and, like You know, like, I just Sara seems to be the queen of mixed messages.
And if we live near each other, it could go either way, you know what I'm saying? I don't expect anything to It just it will happen.
Whatever will happen.
I don't feel like I need to rush whatever's happening between us, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like when I go there, we'll see what happens.
I like you.
And, yeah, I have other girls that I've, like, hooked up with, but, like, honestly, I'm gonna be dead up with you.
Like, I have feelings for you more so than anybody else in my life.
Like, I just don't want to be like every other dumb girl, 'cause I'm sure all the other bitches are, like, too available, you know? Right.
You're not too available.
I'm not either.
I know.
- So good.
Cheers to - I know that.
Cheers for being not too available.
I've let people in and trusted them only when I know that they feel more for me than I do for them.
You know, I don't want to get hurt.
And it's like, when you finally are ready to put yourself out there, you're left hanging.
And as I'm saying this, I'm realizing that I probably do this to girls myself.
Today is the day I'm supposed to resign from the hair salon.
I'm just a little sad and scared.
Wish me luck.
I'll call you later.
- Oh, yeah.
Good luck.
- Oh, yeah.
Bye.
I've been at this place for about three years now, and I could use Rose's moral support.
I'm just a little nervous about change right now.
Natalie is so preoccupied with quitting and has a long day that it kind of leaves me kind of in the clear to just sort of blow off steam with some friends and have a bromance day that may involve a stripper or two.
She is cute.
We're about to do a photo shoot for BOUND Magazine.
I think that my mom doesn't subscribe to BOUND Magazine.
Beck! What's up? - How are you, doll? - I'm good.
Well, hey, thanks so much for being part of the project - Of course.
- And collaboration It's awesome.
It sounds fun.
Yeah, it's gonna be great.
I'm really excited.
Beck Starr is a good friend of mine and also an amazing photographer.
Lucky enough, she was the one shooting the photos.
So you ready for makeup? - Yes, I think so.
- Okay.
- How you guys doing? - Good.
How are you doing? - You look fantastic.
- Thank you.
But you know what I was thinking? - What? - I was thinking that we would attempt to shoot a cover of you.
Okay.
Being on the cover of a lesbian publication sort of saves me a lot of time.
Instead of having to come out as somebody new every single night, I can come out to the world overnight.
And we have food to feed you, except for you're not allowed to eat.
I heard I'm not allowed to eat.
So my mom will be shocked to see me on the cover of BOUND.
What? What? What? Nice.
I like it.
And hold it.
Hold it.
I'm still me.
I'm still the same person.
Being gay doesn't change who I am, but I think that it'll help my mom understand it, if she actually sees it.
Nice.
That's it.
That's the shot.
There you go.
We've had a long couple of days, and we are tired, but we have one more day in San Francisco.
First, we are going out to brunch.
All right, cheers.
Let's have one of those straws, you guys.
- It's too lovely to drink - I don't know.
So wait, are you guys so when are you moving to L.
A.
? Are you really gonna make it happen? Oh, yeah.
It's actually only in, like, one month.
If we can even just put the deposit down now to hold it Yeah, 'cause I'm supposed to put $1,000 and then I know, but it's gonna be more now since they're doing the I don't think the deposit will be more.
And then we might have a third roommate.
Who's the third roommate? Remember we were talking about You talking to Victoria? 'Cause she needs a place.
Why is it so funny? Sara is dead serious.
She would absolutely live with Tor, and Sara has no idea that Tor and I have hooked up in the past.
But you know what? Fuck it.
Why doesn't Romi, Sara, and Tor just get a house together? They're all makeup artists and hairdressers, probably have a lot in common.
I don't see why not, if she's looking for a place.
I don't know if, um no, she She no, I think that that would be a good idea, except for the fact that she needs to have a place before then, like, by Like, in within two weeks.
Awesome, awesome.
Yeah, yeah, we're good.
Today we have a huge, huge day.
L.
A.
Fashion Week is right around the corner.
We really need to sign another sponsor for Fashion Week.
We got to make some cash.
This could be a big problem for us with the show.
If you want to do your own show Friday night and just have it all be Richie's line, which could be really fucking huge.
Don't worry about that.
I'll take care of everything.
If you guys have the budget to do it, I will make it all happen.
White Trash Beautiful, Richie Sambora's line He's very interested in showing with us for Fashion Week.
It is an amazing brand.
It's completely rock and roll.
You can definitely tell that this line has Richie Sambora written all over it, in his heyday of prime time Bon Jovi.
I'll have Shanna revise the contract and send it over to you.
All right, babe.
Thanks.
Bye.
You did not.
You did not.
Holy motherfucking fuck.
I'm so excited.
We just signed White Trash Beautiful.
And now I know we have the money for the tent.
This is fucking awesome.
Bam, bitches! - That's how you fucking do it.
- We got a show Friday night.
You better have it.
Tonight me and my friends, my little bromance crew We're having a friendly night of strippers and beer.
What more can you ask for? Rose! Are you ready? I'm getting ready, and Stephanie and Danielle show up.
They're kind of my little protégées.
Dude, did you get the text from Rose about the girl? Oh, yeah yeah, I told her.
She's cute.
Natalie is not gonna know about our bromance extravaganza, stripper and beer night, no.
I think she'd be pissed.
- Rose, hurry up! - Andale! Natalie's calling me.
Shh, for two seconds.
Okay.
Hello? - Hey, baby.
- Hey, babe.
I'm actually on my way to go meet the girls for dinner.
Babe, I don't even have time to stop.
I'm, like, running late.
I'm supposed to meet them at 6:00.
I think she wants to, like, have a conversation with me, which is a little frustrating, 'cause I'm late.
I still have to go pull out cash for the strippers.
Like, there's just so much going on that I don't have time to have a full-blown conversation with her.
I'm at home, but I'm leaving right now.
I'm late.
I'm late.
I got to call you back.
Bye.
Tonight it's just strictly about me and my friends.
Natalie kind of fucked up.
Now I have a free pass.
I'm gonna go out and, like, you know, cause a little bit of trouble.
- Ready? - Yeah, let's do this.
- You ready? - I'm ready, dude.
I love I love it.
I love it.
So here's your room number.
You'll be on the 19th floor.
- Great.
- Hey, is this a good room? - Don't lie to me.
- It's a very nice room.
Do you require assistance with your luggage? - No, we're - This is our luggage.
- We're good, dude.
- All right.
- Thank you.
- Enjoy your stay.
We travel light.
So we're checking into the hotel for our extravaganza, and the girls are gonna come over and meet us at the hotel and entertain me and my friends, and it seems like it's gonna be a really good time.
Yeah! Damn.
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
This is the stripper chair.
When you're in this chair, this is when you got to, like, you know? - Deb.
- Deb! - Yeah! - Yeah! Cheers, bitches! Let's do this shit! That's you, fool! All right, you see that? That's the world, you guys.
There's a lot of pussy out there.
And we need to get at it, dude.
Wait, there's a lot of pussy out there that I'm leaving for you guys.
I'm kind of letting my little protégées know that tonight's the night that they grow up a little bit.
How about Nat? "Who are you with, anyway? What the fuck is going on?" - She doesn't know, really? - Don't fucking bbm me Yeah! Yeah! Wow.
You know, we're not doing anything wrong.
We're good girls, and we're just having a good time and just let a little let a little steam, so, you know, Natalie doesn't need to know.
Oh, my God.
I'm making sure I'm not touching anybody, 'cause I don't want to get in trouble later.
So I'm trying to make sure that I keep it rated NC17.
That'd be nice.
It's like NC17.
Exes! I'm about to have one after all this.
I'm being extremely good.
For me, I'm being a Saint.
If she was my girlfriend and I was away and I saw this right now, I'd be like, "what the fuck?" So Nat's gonna kill me.
- We're gonna leave, though.
- Thank you for the invite.
- Oh, no problem.
- Did you have fun? Well, you had fun.
- Bye, honey.
- Thank you.
- Bye.
Good night.
- Bye.
- Be safe.
- Thank you, ladies.
All right, bromance meeting real quick, two seconds.
No Twitter, no MySpace, no Facebook.
- Oh, MySpace.
- Like, on the down-low.
- You guys promise? - Yep.
One, two, three - Hi, baby.
- Wow.
- Wow.
- Hi, Max.
What are you doing, babe? I leave you alone for a few hours, and - This is what happens.
- This is what happens.
Yeah.
- How was it? - It was good.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I was sort of nervous going into this, but it opens up this door, like, a possibility, and it makes me excited for what might happen.
They might put me on the cover.
Shut up.
For you're kidding.
Nu-huh.
Uh huh.
- Really? - Yeah.
- With that hair? - Yeah.
What'd you do all night? There's, like Um, a lot.
- Yeah? - Come here.
Mmm.
I missed you.
Me too.
Hey, boo boo.
- Hey, babe.
- Hi.
No hug? Come here.
Let me hug my girlfriend.
Can I have a hug? I missed you today.
Yeah? I would've never known.
Why do you say that? Cause I didn't hear from you at all today.
Babe, do you know how it is at work with me? Yeah.
It's that way at work with me too.
It's like the way exactly.
So it's, like, tough.
But then you get out of work.
And when I got out of work, I was on the phone dealing with all my other business.
So there's not, like, five minutes I called you, Natalie.
You saw I called you, right, like, repeatedly.
Then I called you back, and you don't answer, okay? All right.
I'm just saying.
I'll make an effort to change that.
- That would be nice.
- Okay, problem solved.
Okay, I'm gonna go change.
Okay.
The next time I'm gonna see Sara is most likely going to be when she is moving to L.
A.
I think, for a moment, I actually looked at Sara as, like, "okay, when I'm ready to be in a relationship, she's somebody I could potentially be with.
" But now I'm starting to reconsider I don't know what to expect at this point.
Maybe you'll grow on me.
Yeah, maybe I'll run into you sometime.
- Hopefully.
- Yeah.
Bye.
Drive safe, please.
Bye.
Bye.

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