The Real L Word s01e07 Episode Script
It's My Party And I'll Cry if I Want To
Strap-ons, dildos, vibrators? You know, anal beads, if you want to get freaky with it? The embarrassment that's coming over me right now is exactly what happened when I walked into that sex shop.
There was so much going on.
I didn't know where to look.
I didn't know what to do.
Hey, there's some great contraptions, some swings, slings, and things.
I'm very open in the bedroom.
I do have a drawer, and I have things in my drawer.
I like strap-on sex.
Giving it.
Strapping it on, fucking the girl, doing all the work.
That's the way I've been throughout my lesbian career.
I would not suggest putting a strap-on in the dishwasher.
You throw everything away, and you start over again.
And you really want to get committed and stay in one relationship, because it's super expensive to change girlfriends, at least on my end of it.
Previously on The Real L Word It's $1,000 to participate in the event.
Look, obviously the sooner you could let me know that you wanna get on board, and then we can advertise We're coming down to the wire, so we're looking to try to raise some capital for this tenting.
But I'm fucking sweating on the inside.
I look forward to talking to you.
Bye.
Bye.
All right, babe.
Thanks, bye.
Holy mother fucking fuck.
We just signed Richie Sambora's line, and now I know we have the money for the tent.
This is fucking awesome.
Bam, bitches! That's how you fucking deal.
- We got a show tonight.
- I am so proud of you.
Amy, you're in a relationship with Blake.
Let's say mom didn't approve of Blake.
How long would you go worrying about how it affected mom? If you push too hard on it, like, you, you know she's very emotional.
It's something that my mom just needs to deal with already.
It's gone on long enough.
- The way you talk - What do you mean? You're rude to your girlfriend, your fucking girlfriend that lives in your house.
It's hard for me to have a girlfriend and behave myself at times.
I would already have a ten-year relationship if I wasn't a bad girl, you know, but I am.
I'm in a really weird place right now, dude.
Like, my friends are a lock.
My girl, it's a whole different story.
The last girl I was with was, like, fucking banging, dude.
I'm wanna punch you in the face.
I realize now if I lay all my cards out on the table, at this point if you choose to still want to associate with me, be friends with me, sleep with me, have feelings for me, that is all you.
Do we have anything I can wipe off this table with really quick? It's five days till Fashion Week and we're really getting ramped up.
It's getting crazy right now.
We need to slate our fittings, get all the collections received in tomorrow.
The most important thing now is that we get all the clothing in, all the accessories, all the footwear, everything we need for Fashion Week, 'cause the next week is gonna go by and Fashion Week is gonna be here right around the corner.
The Gallery L.
A.
this is Shanna.
The RSVP list is looking really good.
Ceci's just cracking on it.
She's on the list.
Hey, Shanna.
Can you put them on hold? - Hold on one second.
- What's going on? Nikki said that Heather's not on our celebrity list.
Well, then nobody probably sent an email saying to put Heather on it.
We'll put her on the list.
Don't fucking worry about it, but I don't want you talking about the RSVP list.
Let Ceci handle it.
I need you to, like, help and do some other stuff.
You know what, I'll see if maybe we can get them to come earlier.
I'll have to talk to Mikey about that.
Okay, thanks.
Bye.
Oy.
Okay.
If I get one more RSVP request, I'm going to shoot myself.
The RSVP list, the seating chart, these are probably the two most important things to the designers as well as to other people that are involved in producing the show.
There's a lot of politics involved with seating and runway shows and front rows, and you gotta be really meticulous about this, because you have to try and keep a lot of people happy.
Did you finish yesterday's yet? You didn't? Make a plan, help each other, and just we've got to get through these emails.
Just fucking confirm everybody, and put 'em on the list and call it a day.
Like Oh, Jesus.
Barbecue favorite.
Four letters.
Ends with an "s.
" Dogs.
Dogs.
Uncle Dan.
- Hi! - Hi! Come on, everybody, inside.
- Hi.
- Hi, boys and girls.
Nik's very good friend, who is also a very talented designer, is coming to visit us today.
- How's it going? - All is good.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Look who's here.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.
Nik and I are having our very first Passover Seder at the house.
We're taking a break for a moment from all of the wedding planning so that we can actually focus on the big dinner that we're about to host.
I mean, I came here already deciding what pieces we should keep and what pieces might be ready to update.
Let's just talk.
We've discussed dining room table.
It's a great card table.
It's not a dining table.
Right, okay, that's why we called you, and now I'm very afraid.
- And now I'm very afraid.
- It's a dining room.
It's the first time that we're hosting a holiday as an engaged couple.
So it's really special to have our friends and family in our new dining room for Passover.
Dan is snowfall, snowball, avalanche.
That's Dan.
So if I tell designer Dan that I want a dining room.
All of a sudden, the entire house is getting done.
You've made a mistake that a lot of people make, which is we've got this really big room, but you've got this little island, this narrow space of furniture.
And then we've got this, like, no man's land.
It's a little dead.
It's a little dead.
I mean, let's face it.
- It's a little dead? - It's a little dead.
Part of it is the paint color.
It's like, you know, like it's like mud on the walls.
I mean, we do need new window treatment.
These window treatments came with the house.
You don't even have to tell me.
I know they did.
These are like old schmatta rags.
They gotta go.
And what's that rod? It looks like a fucking hospital suite.
It's a little bit of a problem.
- I hate you.
- This is a problem.
It's a little bit of a problem.
It's a problem? This is gonna be fun.
You pay for my opinion, you're gonna get it.
The truth is I know it's a lot to take in, but it's gonna be minimal.
We do need a new rug.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- You do.
You do.
- Dan, I - You do.
- And I'm thinking to myself, these are the nicest walls and the nicest rug I've ever owned, so go figure.
This has to be off the chain.
It is off the chain.
No, now it's muddy and disgusting and disguting No, no, no, did I use the word "disgusting"? You know, Dan made me very nervous.
I want this place to be perfect for our first holiday together.
I need a chandelier in here.
That's what we need.
You absolutely have to have a chandelier in here.
It's gonna make the room a little more intimate.
It's gonna bring some of this volume down.
But glass, right? I'm thinking, like, venetian glass.
I mean, I don't want to scare you, - but I'm thinking donghia.
- Really? Listen, I have a really good idea.
If we sell both of your rings, we could buy furniture.
So All right, I'm only kidding.
I brought you flowers.
Yeah.
I'm visiting my grandma.
She's not really feeling too well, so I just wanted to check on her and make sure she's okay.
My grandmother, she raised me since I was a baby.
You know, I went to officially live with her when I was about 11 years old.
She's my mom, my grandma all rolled into one.
Yeah.
How are you? - Hi.
- The whole hub of our family has always been my grandmother's house.
But since my mother and I aren't really getting along, things have kinda shifted.
So my grandmother's really broken up about it, which is pretty sad.
I was gonna send her an email, but I changed my mind.
You're talking about your mother, right? Yeah.
You guys are so much alike.
That's why you guys clash.
That's the problem.
I told you, she was calling Angel, my ex-girlfriend, the one I had all that drama with.
And Angel was the one telling me, she goes, "why is your mom always calling me?" And I said, "my mom's calling you?" I was like, "that shit's weird.
" It's sad because, you know, whenever we have now, like, a get-together, you know We can't all get together because one person's not speaking to the other, and, you know, the family's not as united as it used to be, and it's sad.
Mm-hmm.
But if you guys, in the future, can, you know, make up, that would be the best thing.
I don't see it coming, but, you know, you never give up hope.
Right.
That's the last thing you give up.
Yeah.
You know? The only reason why I'm even considering it is because of grandma.
Because I know she's, you know what I mean, having a hard time.
Si.
Just knowing that something I'm involved in is affecting my grandmother, it's killing me.
I mean, it's not a good thing.
I want her to be at ease and not be so stressed out over my drama with my mom.
So I'm gonna think about it.
You excited for your first reading? - I am.
- Hi.
This is Bob.
This is Robin's husband.
- Nice to meet you.
- This is Tracy.
And this is the lovely Robin Alexis.
Oh, hi, how are you? - Hi.
Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you finally.
Yes.
I'm looking forward to giving you a reading.
Today I'm meeting with Stamie's psychic.
Don't get distracted by me, all right, baby? Don't think nasty thoughts right now.
You're focusing.
Stamie's used her for years.
She's sort of predicted things in Stamie's life, you know, a long time before they happened, and it's always right on.
But I'm extremely skeptical.
Whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew.
Phoo! Shoo! Phoo! Shoo! Hoo! Phew! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Shh, shh, shh.
Ooh, shh, phew, phew.
Shoo! Ooh.
Poof, I'm gone.
I was expecting for her head to start spinning and green shit to start spewing out of her mouth.
I was like, this is too much.
Like, get out, no way.
Here we go.
Your energy is very distracted by your parents.
Your mother feels very disconnected.
She has a lot of energy tears in her field.
Okay, it's about you feeling safe being your authentic self.
She's learning to cope with no, she's got a lot of stuff going on.
She needs consistent spiritual nurturing.
And she does need to do something, and she needs to do it within the next five months, because if she doesn't, she's gonna be in big trouble.
So you really need to tell her to take action now.
That freaks me out.
As the reading went on, I sorta forgot about, you know, everything that I thought was a little wackadoodle and started to really believe her.
I think Robin's telling me that my mom needs to open up and sort of get help.
I don't know what that means necessarily, but all I know is that my mom has a certain, you know, ticking time clock.
By you demonstrating your authentic self and living authentically, it will help her find her footing again.
If I wear, like, thermals with, like, thick sweatpants on top.
Do you think if I get shot in the legs, it'll hurt still? Mm-hmm, yeah.
I don't have any layers.
I have things that look good.
So basically I'm fucked.
This is a huge weekend.
We have paintball tomorrow, and then our first-annual White Trash Party the next day.
My role in the zombie movie calls for a lot of gun usage.
So any chance I can get to wield a gun, I'm gonna take.
Tomorrow, I'm packing.
And when you lose, you're getting it.
I'm gonna strap it on.
And the loser gets it.
I don't care, I'm kicking your ass tomorrow.
And then you're gonna take it like a bitch.
I'm gonna be doing the fucking around here.
Yeah? Let me tell you.
Are you? You wanna top me? - Mm-hmm.
- You want to? No, you don't.
Tor and I, we've been trying to work out our relationship.
You know, we've obviously hooked up before, not lately, but, you know, I think we have a lot of tension that needs to be worked out.
So a bet has been made.
Whoever wins at paintball gets to top the other person with a strap-on.
Winner takes all.
Loser gets boned.
She needs to watch her ass, literally.
This is gonna be absolutely ginormous.
Is he out of his frickin' mind? It's huge! After meeting with designer Dan, we just decided to limit him to the chandelier and the dining room.
And Dan has completely outdone himself.
I think he miscalculated the size of the room.
Listen, go big or go home with Dan.
Our designer has great vision, but our chandelier is colossal.
Oh, my God, that's just one arm? And there's 16 of them? - Is he on crack? - Gorgeous! More is more.
You know, it's a little larger than I envisioned.
- Hello.
- Yes? Um, what ballroom did you think that you were redesigning? So you're gonna be very glamorous, like fucking lesbian liberace.
All right, I need to get some kind of like a fur coat.
We're lesbian liberaces? I swear to God, Dan, I don't know if you really know how big this is.
Oh, you've already knocked me on my ass, but Yes, and don't let the giant chandelier scare you.
Can't wait to see you.
I'll send you a picture in a moment.
- See you.
- Okay.
Bye.
Bye, sweetie.
Bye.
Bye.
I love you too, bye.
Everyone, this is Mikey.
Mikey's the fucking shit.
Whitney called me and invited me to go paintballing.
I love shooting things.
Okay, Whit, here's some gloves for you, and some aviators and dog tags.
Wow.
This is how we roll.
In the last few weeks things have been really stressful with Fashion Week.
I just really need an outlet to cut loose and unwind.
And being able to shoot at people and not kill them, it's even better.
What's up? - How are you? - How are you? - Fuck, dude.
- So I invited my friend Rose, who I've known for, like, seven or eight years.
She's fucking kick-ass.
We go, like, way back.
Like, like, way back.
- Whitney.
- Rose.
Nice to meet you.
This is the first time meeting Rose.
She's a tall powerhouse.
She is like the pack leader of her homegirls.
We should play crew against crew.
Do you travel in a posse? Do you have your own crew? What are you talking yeah.
Come on, I came prepared.
I just need to be on opposing teams from this one.
- Why, is she good? - No.
Yeah.
She needs to protect her.
Listen, I need to be on a different team.
We have a bet going.
Oh, come on.
I'll put her right here.
All of our friends are a little bit more on the athletic side, not to mention, we grew up in the hood, so we know how to shoot.
I'm kidding.
Mikey's gonna lay in the cut and, like, just cherry pick.
The other girls are gonna be scared, dude.
They're gonna sit back, and they're gonna be scared.
Paintball rules.
The way it works is you have two teams.
If you get shot and you have paint on your body, you're out.
Whoever has the last man wins.
Now that we have an inside person, who do you think's gonna win? It's gonna be us.
They might have fancy equipment.
- They might have - Yeah, yeah.
We got heart.
We're like the bad news bears, the motliest crew you've ever seen.
Even though Tor is on team Rose, Rose's team is just solid.
I'm like, what the hell did I just step into? Whitney's getting bent over tonight.
This is gonna be me and Whitney.
- One, two, three.
- Kill! Three, two, one! Go! Go! Go! Don't shoot your people, you guys.
Don't shoot your people.
Over here, go, go! Ah.
Mikey, no! Oh! Fuck, I'm out.
Fuck.
She got you.
You're out! She's coming up! She's coming up! Right there.
Right there, girl.
Get down! Oh! I got you! Good job, Whitney! Keep going! There's one left.
Is that fucking Tor over there? There is one stealth little bandit up at the top of the hill, creeper keepers, sneaky snake.
Guess who it is.
It's Tor.
Get down, Tor.
Get down.
Oh, shit! It's Tor! Whitney, go! Go, Whitney, go! Get down, Whit! Where the fuck is she? Yeah, whoa, Whitney! Oh, fuck! Go, girl, yeah! Finally I get the shot.
Tor is out.
Guess who's last man standing.
This guy.
The underdogs won.
The bad news bears won.
And that therefore means that this little guy right here Oh, Tor, come baby koala.
- She is.
- I was a fighter.
And she's gonna be my little prize.
Oh-oh.
I win.
Yay! The psychic reading was extremely intense.
It resonated.
She said that my mother needs to change and needs to do it soon.
I want to help my mother and push her there.
Hey, mom.
Hey, Tracy.
What you up to? I'm at a park.
It's my lunch hour, and I'm reading a script and eating some lunch.
It's kind of beautiful actually.
It's gorgeous.
Oh, well, come out here.
How do I convince you to come out for my birthday? I want you to meet Stamie.
Let's play that one by ear.
I have my 30th birthday coming up.
It's a big birthday for me, and it means a lot, and I would hope that my mom would come out and help me celebrate it.
So, um, you know, we had sort of a handshake agreement way back that we weren't to talk about certain things.
Right.
I think some time has passed, and I sort of want to revisit, and I want to revise that agreement.
It's hard.
It's not easy.
You cannot blame me for the way I feel, and I bet you 100 million mothers out there feel the same way.
My mom and I kinda have a one-sided understanding.
We decided that I wasn't going to include her in the gay parts of my life.
She always tells me baby steps, which is something I used to say, but I actually don't need her to tell me baby steps anymore, because I've been so respectful.
And I think it's time that she respects me as well.
Well, you think maybe you are a little confused? Some people go through stages.
They like to experiment.
I know for me that it's not.
I'd be the first person to raise my hand and say it might be or fess up or whatever, but it's not, you know? It's hard.
It's not easy.
It takes time.
I know, I guess I'm just I'm I'm I'm very patient, but I guess I just wanna include you in all of my life, not just 90% of it.
I'm not yet at the point where I would feel comfortable seeing you close to that person in all the ways like you would do with a boy.
If you were with a boy, it's a total different thing to me.
You have to be in my shoes, okay? All right, I think my phone actually is gonna go any minute.
So you wanna call me later again? Okay.
Bye, mom.
- Okay, love you, sweetie.
- I love you.
Steph, Passover.
"Add another one to the non-meat eaters, me.
" Oh, no.
Five fish and six brisket.
So why are we making brisket? Oh, no, no, no, no.
Look out.
Hey, hey.
Oh, my God.
I am in total shock.
The chandelier fell.
It could have killed someone.
Oh, my God.
He's explaining to me why this fell.
Apparently it's too heavy.
So I guess it fell the weight of the base fell off that.
I'm glad that nobody got hurt, but my chandelier is ruined.
- Are you calling Dan? - What's up? - The chandelier crashed.
- You're kidding me.
- No.
- I can't believe it.
The showroom chandelier's been hanging for You know, it's had one hanging in there for months.
I'm not comfortable with it.
Even if this is a faulty one, and he's telling me that the ones in the showroom are fine, Jill doesn't want it.
She can't be in the living room with that thing.
She's freaking out.
It just, like, just missed her.
She's freaking out.
Don't give it a second thought right now.
Just let me deal with them.
Okay.
Thank you.
Bye.
I don't want it falling on guests, I don't want it falling on me and you, and I don't want it falling on the dog.
That chandelier is amazing.
They didn't hang it properly.
That chandelier needs to be in this house.
What are you looking for? I'm looking for a new strap-on, and you've gotta help me find it.
I'm a big fan and supporter of toys.
I mean, I have a strap-on.
It's a very personal thing you're sharing with someone.
So I don't necessarily want to have one strap-on that I just use with everyone.
It would be like some guy, like, not washing his dick between having sex with two girls.
I need something that looks good but it still functionable.
Like, I need to really hold it up, because How 'bout this glitter action right here? No, no.
Number one, I'm not down with the glitter.
And also that does not give good support.
I need something to be, like, up here.
I don't even understand this.
I don't either.
This is too fancy pants.
Oh, it's for two girls.
No? Well, that's what's there's gonna be two girls there.
- This is huge.
- That's huge.
- That's not gonna work.
- I'd be pissed.
Yeah, I know you would.
I know you would.
See, that's why I bring you along.
Whitney is such a top that she needs some sort of bottom perspective.
So that's where I come in.
How 'bout this guy? Hey, that guy looks good.
I like where this is going.
It's simple yet stylish.
Nothing I like more than finding a nice dildo.
I want to pick out that special one that just speaks to me from the shelf.
I'd see you with a big, black penis.
All right, well, pssh.
All right, listen, I think something that matches with my skin tone would be better.
This is like your skin tone in the winter.
I'm saying if I were a guy, I think I'd have a giant cock.
I like it.
Whit, you need lube.
Hey, can you recommend a good lube? Yeah, definitely.
I have this all-natural one that a lot of people are picking right now.
It's the Lovrub stuff right here.
Lovrub.
Yeah, it has female sexual enhancement gel, so you can try that.
That actually feels good.
I mean, in a bromance kinda way, you're turning me on.
We'll take it.
- All right, have a good night.
- Bye, ladies.
See you later.
I'm exhausted.
Tor is pretty new to the scene, and she is yet to have strap-on sex.
There's a bag next to the bed full of things that she's never used before and I'm waiting to use.
So really at this point why not use them? I'm cashing in on my winnings tonight.
- This comes off? - This comes off.
That was that was good.
That's what you do.
Yeah, that's good.
Let's turn the lights off.
Don't give me that look.
So can I cash in on that bet now? Really? I was trying to get a hold of you, because I don't want you to hear it from anybody because I don't want you to get nervous about it.
She felt pain on her side, and then she couldn't walk anymore, so she was trying to get upstairs to tell Ray.
She said to call 911 'cause the pain was really bad.
I'm getting ready right now.
All right, cool, so I'll see you there.
I'm going with Natalie right now.
We should probably be there in about 30 minutes.
I just got a call, and I was told my grandmother was rushed to the hospital, so I'm rushing over there to go see her.
The thought of even her being sick, let alone possibly losing her, is just, like, the worst feeling I could possibly ever feel.
Nat, not a lot of time for that shit.
Rose, could you stop, please? Yeah, you need to stop, dude.
I'm not doing anything.
Anytime Rose goes through anything, she's more to herself.
But I can't read her mind, and I don't know what I need to do for her.
I need you right now.
I need you not to be a bitch right now.
I'm not being a bitch right now.
My grandmother's never been in the hospital before, so it's a jarring feeling.
I can't imagine life without her.
I don't think anybody in my family could.
I'm a keeper, aren't I? Yeah.
So basically I cash in on my bet, and, yeah, that's that.
Victoria and I had sex basically with my strap-on, like, balls to the wall, like, no inhibitions.
Yeah, victory has been sealed.
Baby koala.
It was a while since Whitney and I had hooked up, and it was fucking amazing.
Whitney and I, we're good together, and we have something together.
I just I don't know where it's gonna go.
Today is Passover and Dan's here to set the table, install everything, have the candles lit, the flowers done.
We're really looking forward to our first Passover here in the house.
- No.
- A dog bone? Baby, I don't want to look at a shank bone, I really don't.
It grosses me out.
God appreciates the effort.
I wish I paid more attention in Hebrew school.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How you doing? - Overwhelmed.
There is so much pressure to make sure the place is gorgeous, and the table is set.
Okay, that's fine.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Just a minute.
- No, no, no.
That's a bad waiting room.
I gotta go shower.
I can't.
I gotta go.
- Yeah, take a shower.
- Enjoy.
Dan has brought a lot of things in to make the table and our holiday really special, and I appreciate that, but it's just a little stressful in here.
Looks like the Ritz.
What can I tell you? - Mm-hmm.
- It's my job.
It's pretty exquisite what that man did.
I would not have been able to do on my own in my wildest dreams.
I mean, it's just so lavish, and it's beautiful.
There you go.
- Yes.
- Okay, is my work done? - It's not so terrible, huh? - It looks damn good.
I'm gonna get cleaned up, and I'll see you in a minute.
All right.
Since the chandelier fell, Jill has been adamant about not putting up another one, although I have other plans.
Do you like everything? - It's amazing.
- Do you love everything? Love everything.
Did you talk to Dan about the chandelier? No.
Why do we keep bringing up the chandelier? Because it's an issue.
Well, there's no need to hash it out tonight.
Huh? There's no need to hash it out tonight.
But I feel like you need to speak to him.
What, is this imminent? Jill, do you think that a chandelier maker would continue to be in business Then tell me the chances.
What are the chances that it happened to have fallen that day? Maybe the installer did not do it properly.
Could you just talk to Dan before you close your mind completely, please? He has one in his showroom.
It hasn't fallen.
Does it matter? I mean, really? It does matter.
I'm saying, just talk to him.
I am definitely frustrated, and I don't necessarily know if we're paying much attention to the other's feelings as well as we should be.
So for now I think we're gonna just hold tight on replacing the chandelier.
And let me tell you something, this argument, she is not winning.
There is no chandelier in my home.
Moving forward.
Grape drink.
I would love to be lying in bed with Tor, but the day has arrived.
It is White Trash Pool Party day.
I like this.
This is brilliant.
And I'm not gonna lie, my sister and I, we come from a little bit of White Trash.
If you have more cars that don't work in your driveway than do, you're white trash.
If you have your main source of beverage as tang, you might be a little white trash.
You know what, it's a good way to be raised.
Look at how this kid turned out.
Okay, Julia, you're gonna make the play list.
Tor, you're gonna sit down and Facebook.
I'm not on Facebook.
I have a job for you.
It's a very special job, and I only give it to special people.
There's a lot that goes into a White Trash party.
We have basketball chairs, lots of very cheap, disgusting beer, jell-o shots, pink flamingos, and the best part, creamed corn lube wrestling.
Okay, so let me tell you a little bit about the event and what we need.
So L.
A.
Fashion Week is this coming up weekend.
It's, like, nutso.
It's huge.
It's the five days before Fashion Week.
It's down to fucking business, and we have to get the job done.
Cannot be stopped.
Make sure that today everything goes to fucking print.
One thing to always remember in my company is I'm the boss and everybody else is an employee or an intern.
When I come in and stuff is all screwed up and there's little things that have to be taken care of and I'm the one doing them, it really pisses me off.
Nobody's cleaning in here.
This is goddamn nuts.
Place is getting, like, out of control and messy.
Goddamn these fucking black hangers.
All these fucking hangers that aren't ours need to go back to who they belong to.
It's driving me a little bit nuts.
Mikey's getting totally frantic.
You know, Mikey likes to be in control of what's going on.
So, you know, don't fuck with her.
If they didn't send an email with all the proper contact information then they don't get put on the list.
They've been emailed back and asked for the proper information.
We've only had one person dedicated to this entire RSVP thing so there wouldn't be any issues with it.
And I've been watching I've been sitting next to Ceci every single day.
Bryan, calm down.
Let me get over to where I can check on this.
Just give me, like, 20 minutes.
I'll call you right back.
Bye.
Look at Bryan's emails.
Remember I told you, I never got an email back from him.
Yeah, I know, and I want you to resend the fucking email to him.
Put that in the email, "we never received an email confirming that Mena Suvari was coming, however, we will go ahead and put her on the list.
" I don't know if it was on this computer or on that computer.
I think it was on that computer.
Ceci is really far behind on these RSVPs.
I thought she was caught up.
I thought you were keeping a file.
I cannot, cannot, cannot waste one more minute, 'cause this has been a source of contention, and it's just been a big headache.
Forward it back to Bryan.
Forward that back to Bryan right now.
Forward that back to him right now.
But at the end of the day, my balls are on the line with my designers and my big top attendees.
I got somebody bitching me that isn't even paying me a fucking dollar, and I love it.
It's fucking great.
I just sent four emails Pull up every fucking email you sent to Bryan! Every email that's ever gone to Bryan, pull 'em all up and fucking send them back to him! Send him every goddamn email he's ever fucking sent me.
I just did.
It's about to get fucking loose right now, 'cause we are really pumping up.
We're getting lube and more creamed corn for this pool.
So come here right now quick.
This is one of the best I fucked Tor with the strap-on.
- Excuse me? - I fucked Tor with the strap-on.
How was it? Angie! Hey! Hey! Listen, this is gonna be good.
The party is going off.
The problem is that, you know, Romi shows up.
Hey, there's about to be a creamed corn wresting match.
I don't know whether to laugh or say, "fuck my life.
" But honestly, at this point, I just want to have fun.
We're having a group wrestling match.
No.
Me, you, Julia, and Romi.
- I'm not involved.
- I'm not involved.
Scarlett.
Creamed corn? - Let's do it.
- Wow.
This is why I love Scarlett.
There was no hesitation.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Creamed Corwrestling.
The rules of this competition: There are no rules.
Once I stepped into it, it was so slippery.
I was like, okay, this is gonna have to be strategic.
One, two, three! Let's get ready to rumble! Julia has been designated as the announcer, and Scarlett has a coach that is a giant vagina.
What the hell type of fucked-up acid trip is this that we're on? Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
I cannot breathe.
I'm trying to just trip her and try to, like, get her over my knees, and I just knew that she would be just worried about her dreads.
One! Two! Three! Who let me go in that pool without a shower cap on? Victoria, I see you.
Tor! Tor! Tor! So who's coming into round two? Tor is a team player.
She's down for whatever.
That's why I love her.
She doesn't look to happy about it, but nonetheless she gets in the pool.
One, two, three! Let's get ready to rumble! Come on! One! Two! No! She's up, she's up, she's up.
I take her down, but she's a slippery little devil.
I'm also not gonna lie on the fact that I'm slightly turned on at this matchup.
One! Two! Three! Victor! Maybe we should take the creamed corn wrestling in the bedroom or something.
It's kinda nice.
I'm just saying.
Double team Whitney.
You guys are making me sick to my stomach.
Thanks for bringing me out here.
- It's really pretty.
- Of course.
My mom's gonna love you.
Hopefully she comes out for my birthday.
We'll see.
I really hope my mom shows up to my 30th birthday.
It's, you know, a milestone birthday.
It's a big deal for me.
But I'm not really sure as to whether she's gonna come or not.
I don't know.
You know, hopefully.
My mom has to, like, sort her stuff out sort of, you know, with the divorce, and she had the rug pulled out from underneath her.
She's kinda figuring out how it is to stand again.
- Right.
- You know? And I think once she deals with that, she's probably gonna deal with this, you know, this whole situation.
My parents have only known for a few years.
And your parents are good with it now mostly.
I mean, they're good.
They're good.
Like, your mom, she loves you unconditionally, but that doesn't mean she necessarily wants all her friends to know that her daughter's a muff-diver, you know? Don't say it like that.
When you meet my mom, you can't mention muff-diver.
That she's a clam-jumper.
- You can't - I'm delirious.
I know.
Let's be serious.
Come here, honey.
It's a lot of pressure, being the first girlfriend her mom meets.
But if her mom comes out, I think that'll be half the battle.
I just wonder how the first meeting's gonna be, and it's like my two favorite girls.
- I think it'll be fine.
- I think so too.
And I'll be polite.
I'm not gonna do anything in front of her to make her feel uncomfortable, you know? You already friend requested her on Facebook.
How'd that turn out? I think if my mom doesn't accept my invitation to come out for my 30th, I'm gonna be extremely bummed, and I'm gonna be sad.
Is it over here? Yes! Scarlett, boom.
Go, go, go.
Hey, you're such a fucking pain in my ass.
- Why? - In my ass.
- In it? - Yeah.
Not around it.
- Come.
- Where? Where are the girls? Go ahead.
I'll follow your lead.
What happened with that rematch? So I'm standing outside talking to Romi.
And the next thing I know, she grabs me and pulls me into my bedroom.
I love how white trash I really am.
I feel so comfortable with her, like, in bed.
Really comfortable.
Like, just let it all go.
Listen, do you want me to - Yeah, I do.
- You do? There is a party going on that I'm hosting.
I should really be out there.
But, you know, it's like a drunken stupor type thing.
So I can't stop myself.
I am a pussy slut.
I'm gonna fuck you really good.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
They're in the same fucking room right now? Scarlett, do you not realize that? Oh! Honestly, like, it's fucking ridiculous.
They're in a room together right now.
Oh, shit.
Thank you guys all for coming, 'cause I love you guys.
Jill and I are not religious, but we're traditional.
This is important because it's a wonderful tradition, and it's just a nice way to share it with your friends and your family.
And no disrespect to Passover, but, you know, it's good to keep the laughter going.
And the Lord said to Moses, "say unto Aaron, 'take thy rod and stretch thy hand 'over the waters of Egypt, over their rivers over their streams.
'" he said, "rod.
" This is a lesbian Seder.
This Seder is hands-down one of the all-time funniest seders I've ever sat through.
Let my people go! Hey, let my people go! But at the same time, you know, it's hard for me to be far from my own family on these kind of holidays, because I typically try to go back and be with them.
You know, I've celebrated my entire life with family.
But I'm doing this in my home with the family that I'm about to build.
It's very meaningful to have you guys all here in our home as Nik and I have our very first Passover Seder.
As an engaged couple.
- Ohh! - In our new home.
It means a lot to have you in our lives.
Thank you for having us.
- Thank you.
- Happy Passover.
- Happy Passover! - Yay! We had the best time, and I think it made it feel like our home together.
I do want to give Jill the world.
She gives me the world, so I want to reciprocate.
I just want to say thank you, guys, for coming and really sharing this with us, 'cause it's been amazing.
And, Dan, for setting a gorgeous table and making our house look amazing.
And For leading our Seder.
Yes.
Oh! Love you.
My grandmother ended up having pneumonia, and she probably had it for quite some time, because she kept complaining about a pain on her side.
And, you know, she waited till it got to the point where she couldn't even walk anymore, and my uncle had to call 911, and they took her to the hospital.
When I initially saw her in the hospital, 'cause I've never seen her that way, like, I completely broke down, like, I lost it.
My grandmother is a patient there.
- What can I do for you? - Yeah.
I just wanted to let them know, 'cause I went to visit her just a little while ago - Yeah.
- And she's kinda stubborn, and she did tell me that she likes to go to the bathroom on her own.
Yeah, but we told her not to.
All she has to do is hit the red button.
Okay, perfect.
Thank you, have a great night.
- Sure, fine.
Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
Just let her know that she's stable, she's fine.
She's okay.
All I can think about is my grandmother.
That makes perfect sense.
Everything else is secondary at this point right now.
I could give a shit if 100 people show up or if 10 people show up.
It doesn't matter.
My best friend, Irene, is having her party tonight.
You know, I promised her I would go.
She's a promoter, and she expects me to be there, so I'm obligated to go.
I can't even see with this.
I need my compact.
And this party we have to go to tonight, I'm not really in the mood.
So wish I didn't have to go.
Hey, do you ever know what happened to my lace gloves? No, I don't, I don't I wouldn't even care about that.
Yeah, you need to hurry.
My aunt said, "there's too many people there.
I feel bad.
Your grandma's tired.
" - Does she really? - Yep.
Rose is kinda bitchy all day, which is understandable, and I was trying to be really understanding to that.
But when Rose is mad at me, she kinda hits me where it hurts, and Angel's her ex-girlfriend.
No, I'm just chillin'.
I'm just waiting for you.
For tonight's party, I'm hoping that Rose and I don't fight.
But at the same time, I'm like, you know, you kinda just, you know, you have that gut feeling.
But I hope tonight's not the night.
What time is this over? Baby, like, midnight.
Okay, I'm just asking 'cause I think it's midnight.
I think it's midnight.
Can't see a fucking thing.
Okay, come on, dude.
It's, like, right here.
How do they not know where the entrance I'm just gonna go.
Rose, relax a little bit.
Like, I know you're in a bad, bitchy mood, but, babe, you need to really calm down.
Like, you're being mean to everyone for no reason.
Hold on, Nat, you're being a bitch.
No no, you've been you've been Nat, you need to stop right now.
Okay, fine, I'll stop, but just so you know You need to fucking stop right now.
I'm asking you for the third time to stop right now.
Don't talk to me like you're my mom, 'cause you're not.
If I'm being a bitch, then everybody's being fucking stupid.
No, you're being a total fucking asshole is what you're doing.
You've been a heartless fucking bitch I'm heartless? Whatever, okay.
- Heartless, great.
- Bye, Nat.
I felt like, I understand that you're going through a lot, but, like, there's no need for you to be mean right now.
Nat, you can go.
I'll see you in a minute.
- I'm waiting for you, Rose.
- I don't want you to.
Like, I'm your girlfriend.
Don't be a dick.
Yeah, but I'm waiting for you.
I don't care.
Of course you wouldn't wait for me.
Raquel and I have been working really hard.
Our schedules have both been really crazy and hectic.
Unfortunately, this is our last night to spend some time together before the craziness of Fashion Week.
Cheers.
- Date night.
- Date night.
Date night.
What do they say in A.
A.
, babe? So I got a call from the peeps for Saturday's thing.
They're gonna have the, um, stylist call me.
Let's not talk about you, or work, or me, or work.
Let's talk about us.
What's in your head? Work.
You know, most people have 9:00 to 5:00 jobs, and they don't necessarily skip a beat.
With us, we work very different schedules.
So it's really hard to, you know, spend that quality time.
You know, so to reconnect in that space, you know, isn't always so easy.
Is it hard not talking about work to me? No.
I I forget to not.
So it's good to be reminded.
You lose perspective, like, what matters in life, you know what I mean? So, yeah, it's like, it's not easy to turn it off, you know what I mean? You're like you're addicted to it.
It's like, "gotta make it happen, gotta do this, gotta do that, gotta do this.
" You know what I mean? I'm so excited for Fashion Week, but it's hard to find time with Mikey.
So we have to set and plan our time.
When we have a day off, we have a day off.
Nothing else can happen but being together.
That's how I feel too.
Even on my days off, it's really hard to decompress.
Like, I'm serious, it's really fucking hard.
Like, and then I get on the phone with you, you're like, "hi, babe, I'm doing this and that and this and ba-ba-da-da," and I'm just like, look at us.
It's really tough to, like, always have to put work first.
At the times when I put my relationship first, my business gets harmed.
When I put my business first, my relationship gets harmed.
At the end of the day, like, my heart belongs to her, and it's where I want to be, but I would hope that I would never have to be put in the position to have to choose between my work or my relationship.
That would be the most gut-wrenching thing.
And I love her a lot, and when we're together it's so perfect.
That was nice.
At this point right now, the party is more of a burden.
My head's just not in it.
You gotta introduce me to the girls.
The girls out there look really pretty.
Good job.
I need a hug.
I love you.
Hey, this is my sister.
My sister is spinning there so I pretty much just hang out with my sister.
- Where's Rose? - I don't know.
I just go down there with her, 'cause she normally always cools me down.
And I just stay as far away as possible from Rose.
This table's for you and Natalie.
- Do you wanna sit with her? - No, no, no.
- Want a glass of wine? - No, I want a shot.
Natalie and I have a lot of tension.
You know, she's downstairs.
You know, I'm doing my thing.
- Yeah, I'm single now.
- What happened? Huh? You know me.
You know how I go through girls.
No, I'm doing a drink.
My ex-girlfriend Angel knows my grandma's sick, and pretty much just sent me a text supporting me and just letting me know that everything's gonna be okay.
I want to see Angel, 'cause she kinda makes me feel better sometimes.
Natalie would be extremely upset if she knew that Angel and I were communicating.
- Bye.
- Be safe.
You know, I'm kinda like not wanting to be there and dealing with a lot of stuff, and I don't really give a fuck about what Natalie thinks.
I'm really angry that she never took my feelings into consideration.
I can't believe my girlfriend left.
Ha ha! She left? She left here? Like, she left, she's gone.
One of Rose's friends, Danielle, tells me, "you know, Rose left," and I'm like, "what?" I think when you're in a couple relationship and you live together, no matter how pissed you are at each other, you guys have to, if you guys get there together, - you have to leave together.
- I'll take you home.
I don't know, I don't care.
But I care.
Rose left by herself.
Shh.
- I hate you.
- No.
All right, you go out first.
Romi and I just came in here and unexpectedly hooked up on the bed.
I did not expect this.
There's a party out there, and people were knocking.
I'm not really sure what just happened.
Last night, Whitney just had sex with Tor with the strap-on, and Whitney has disappeared for a while with Romi, and this upsets Tor.
I'm so upset with Whitney, because she's so drunk she's wondering what she's done wrong.
How do you think that makes her feel? Well, what the fuck is wrong with her? Answer the question.
It's that you fucked her and now you've been in a room for a long fucking while with Romi.
Everyone knows that.
Okay? - No, it's not okay.
- It's not.
And I have to go talk to her.
Tor was apparently crying and upset.
You know, at this moment, the realization is hitting me so hard of what a bad decision that was, 'cause it was too right in Tor's face.
Where the fuck were you? You were just in a room with fucking Romi forever.
You're being such a fucking bitch.
Seriously, like, you're being such a fucking douche.
You can't go to Romi's house to bone? I'm a piece of shit.
I don't know why you talk to me.
Like, you're letting people that care about you and love you down, for what? Just go.
It's your world, baby.
I don't have the key to get in the house, 'cause we came together.
She's not here.
Call Rose really quickly.
She's a fucking asshole, dude.
Please leave your message for I'm freaking out at this point.
Being that I can't get in, I'm calling, calling, calling.
She doesn't answer.
I'm gonna come home with you.
So I'm going to my friends Char and Dre's house.
You guys always experience the worst of us.
We're not a bad couple.
Like, we're not a dramatic, crazy couple.
She's just overwhelmed with her grandma being sick, and it's, like, extra stress.
But, like, the way she's handling her stress is not a way that I can understand, and I can understand everything.
Rose, she believes in revenge, I think.
Or I don't know.
I think she just doesn't care about how I feel and just is gonna do whatever she wants.
I want to move forward from this day and give her the benefit of the doubt.
No, Natalie, that's your problem.
You give people the benefit of the doubt all the time.
Like, realize, homegirl, realize.
She's not mad at you.
- She just wants - Frustrating, babe.
Does her ex live where does she live? Wait, why are we so worried about her ex? I don't care about her ex.
I care about other girls, not her ex.
That's your problem.
That's who she's with.
Rose fucking left you.
She left you, Natalie.
I don't want to think about leaving.
It would be unfortunate, but, you know, I think my mom always taught me to love myself first.
I feel so overwhelmed.
It's not often that I, like, lose it and break down.
Like, I like to pride myself on being strong or whatever.
Like, I just am fucked up.
Why are you fucked up? I don't know why I do things I do sometimes, and then Tor is pissed.
She felt like something was rekindling between the two of you, and it just made her have high hopes for something.
And you're sharing your bed with Victoria.
And that's mad awkward for you to be having to sleep in the same bed with her after just fucking her, like, last night and then during a house party fuck somebody else in the bed that she's supposed to sleep with you in tonight.
You know, like, it's disrespectful.
Just keep in mind that, like, there are other people's feelings, like, floating around, and you can't just, like, stomp all over them and expect everybody to not get upset.
I think tonight I let a lot of people down.
This is not even me.
Like or may I mean, maybe it is me.
There was so much going on.
I didn't know where to look.
I didn't know what to do.
Hey, there's some great contraptions, some swings, slings, and things.
I'm very open in the bedroom.
I do have a drawer, and I have things in my drawer.
I like strap-on sex.
Giving it.
Strapping it on, fucking the girl, doing all the work.
That's the way I've been throughout my lesbian career.
I would not suggest putting a strap-on in the dishwasher.
You throw everything away, and you start over again.
And you really want to get committed and stay in one relationship, because it's super expensive to change girlfriends, at least on my end of it.
Previously on The Real L Word It's $1,000 to participate in the event.
Look, obviously the sooner you could let me know that you wanna get on board, and then we can advertise We're coming down to the wire, so we're looking to try to raise some capital for this tenting.
But I'm fucking sweating on the inside.
I look forward to talking to you.
Bye.
Bye.
All right, babe.
Thanks, bye.
Holy mother fucking fuck.
We just signed Richie Sambora's line, and now I know we have the money for the tent.
This is fucking awesome.
Bam, bitches! That's how you fucking deal.
- We got a show tonight.
- I am so proud of you.
Amy, you're in a relationship with Blake.
Let's say mom didn't approve of Blake.
How long would you go worrying about how it affected mom? If you push too hard on it, like, you, you know she's very emotional.
It's something that my mom just needs to deal with already.
It's gone on long enough.
- The way you talk - What do you mean? You're rude to your girlfriend, your fucking girlfriend that lives in your house.
It's hard for me to have a girlfriend and behave myself at times.
I would already have a ten-year relationship if I wasn't a bad girl, you know, but I am.
I'm in a really weird place right now, dude.
Like, my friends are a lock.
My girl, it's a whole different story.
The last girl I was with was, like, fucking banging, dude.
I'm wanna punch you in the face.
I realize now if I lay all my cards out on the table, at this point if you choose to still want to associate with me, be friends with me, sleep with me, have feelings for me, that is all you.
Do we have anything I can wipe off this table with really quick? It's five days till Fashion Week and we're really getting ramped up.
It's getting crazy right now.
We need to slate our fittings, get all the collections received in tomorrow.
The most important thing now is that we get all the clothing in, all the accessories, all the footwear, everything we need for Fashion Week, 'cause the next week is gonna go by and Fashion Week is gonna be here right around the corner.
The Gallery L.
A.
this is Shanna.
The RSVP list is looking really good.
Ceci's just cracking on it.
She's on the list.
Hey, Shanna.
Can you put them on hold? - Hold on one second.
- What's going on? Nikki said that Heather's not on our celebrity list.
Well, then nobody probably sent an email saying to put Heather on it.
We'll put her on the list.
Don't fucking worry about it, but I don't want you talking about the RSVP list.
Let Ceci handle it.
I need you to, like, help and do some other stuff.
You know what, I'll see if maybe we can get them to come earlier.
I'll have to talk to Mikey about that.
Okay, thanks.
Bye.
Oy.
Okay.
If I get one more RSVP request, I'm going to shoot myself.
The RSVP list, the seating chart, these are probably the two most important things to the designers as well as to other people that are involved in producing the show.
There's a lot of politics involved with seating and runway shows and front rows, and you gotta be really meticulous about this, because you have to try and keep a lot of people happy.
Did you finish yesterday's yet? You didn't? Make a plan, help each other, and just we've got to get through these emails.
Just fucking confirm everybody, and put 'em on the list and call it a day.
Like Oh, Jesus.
Barbecue favorite.
Four letters.
Ends with an "s.
" Dogs.
Dogs.
Uncle Dan.
- Hi! - Hi! Come on, everybody, inside.
- Hi.
- Hi, boys and girls.
Nik's very good friend, who is also a very talented designer, is coming to visit us today.
- How's it going? - All is good.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Look who's here.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.
Nik and I are having our very first Passover Seder at the house.
We're taking a break for a moment from all of the wedding planning so that we can actually focus on the big dinner that we're about to host.
I mean, I came here already deciding what pieces we should keep and what pieces might be ready to update.
Let's just talk.
We've discussed dining room table.
It's a great card table.
It's not a dining table.
Right, okay, that's why we called you, and now I'm very afraid.
- And now I'm very afraid.
- It's a dining room.
It's the first time that we're hosting a holiday as an engaged couple.
So it's really special to have our friends and family in our new dining room for Passover.
Dan is snowfall, snowball, avalanche.
That's Dan.
So if I tell designer Dan that I want a dining room.
All of a sudden, the entire house is getting done.
You've made a mistake that a lot of people make, which is we've got this really big room, but you've got this little island, this narrow space of furniture.
And then we've got this, like, no man's land.
It's a little dead.
It's a little dead.
I mean, let's face it.
- It's a little dead? - It's a little dead.
Part of it is the paint color.
It's like, you know, like it's like mud on the walls.
I mean, we do need new window treatment.
These window treatments came with the house.
You don't even have to tell me.
I know they did.
These are like old schmatta rags.
They gotta go.
And what's that rod? It looks like a fucking hospital suite.
It's a little bit of a problem.
- I hate you.
- This is a problem.
It's a little bit of a problem.
It's a problem? This is gonna be fun.
You pay for my opinion, you're gonna get it.
The truth is I know it's a lot to take in, but it's gonna be minimal.
We do need a new rug.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- You do.
You do.
- Dan, I - You do.
- And I'm thinking to myself, these are the nicest walls and the nicest rug I've ever owned, so go figure.
This has to be off the chain.
It is off the chain.
No, now it's muddy and disgusting and disguting No, no, no, did I use the word "disgusting"? You know, Dan made me very nervous.
I want this place to be perfect for our first holiday together.
I need a chandelier in here.
That's what we need.
You absolutely have to have a chandelier in here.
It's gonna make the room a little more intimate.
It's gonna bring some of this volume down.
But glass, right? I'm thinking, like, venetian glass.
I mean, I don't want to scare you, - but I'm thinking donghia.
- Really? Listen, I have a really good idea.
If we sell both of your rings, we could buy furniture.
So All right, I'm only kidding.
I brought you flowers.
Yeah.
I'm visiting my grandma.
She's not really feeling too well, so I just wanted to check on her and make sure she's okay.
My grandmother, she raised me since I was a baby.
You know, I went to officially live with her when I was about 11 years old.
She's my mom, my grandma all rolled into one.
Yeah.
How are you? - Hi.
- The whole hub of our family has always been my grandmother's house.
But since my mother and I aren't really getting along, things have kinda shifted.
So my grandmother's really broken up about it, which is pretty sad.
I was gonna send her an email, but I changed my mind.
You're talking about your mother, right? Yeah.
You guys are so much alike.
That's why you guys clash.
That's the problem.
I told you, she was calling Angel, my ex-girlfriend, the one I had all that drama with.
And Angel was the one telling me, she goes, "why is your mom always calling me?" And I said, "my mom's calling you?" I was like, "that shit's weird.
" It's sad because, you know, whenever we have now, like, a get-together, you know We can't all get together because one person's not speaking to the other, and, you know, the family's not as united as it used to be, and it's sad.
Mm-hmm.
But if you guys, in the future, can, you know, make up, that would be the best thing.
I don't see it coming, but, you know, you never give up hope.
Right.
That's the last thing you give up.
Yeah.
You know? The only reason why I'm even considering it is because of grandma.
Because I know she's, you know what I mean, having a hard time.
Si.
Just knowing that something I'm involved in is affecting my grandmother, it's killing me.
I mean, it's not a good thing.
I want her to be at ease and not be so stressed out over my drama with my mom.
So I'm gonna think about it.
You excited for your first reading? - I am.
- Hi.
This is Bob.
This is Robin's husband.
- Nice to meet you.
- This is Tracy.
And this is the lovely Robin Alexis.
Oh, hi, how are you? - Hi.
Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you finally.
Yes.
I'm looking forward to giving you a reading.
Today I'm meeting with Stamie's psychic.
Don't get distracted by me, all right, baby? Don't think nasty thoughts right now.
You're focusing.
Stamie's used her for years.
She's sort of predicted things in Stamie's life, you know, a long time before they happened, and it's always right on.
But I'm extremely skeptical.
Whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew.
Phoo! Shoo! Phoo! Shoo! Hoo! Phew! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Shh, shh, shh.
Ooh, shh, phew, phew.
Shoo! Ooh.
Poof, I'm gone.
I was expecting for her head to start spinning and green shit to start spewing out of her mouth.
I was like, this is too much.
Like, get out, no way.
Here we go.
Your energy is very distracted by your parents.
Your mother feels very disconnected.
She has a lot of energy tears in her field.
Okay, it's about you feeling safe being your authentic self.
She's learning to cope with no, she's got a lot of stuff going on.
She needs consistent spiritual nurturing.
And she does need to do something, and she needs to do it within the next five months, because if she doesn't, she's gonna be in big trouble.
So you really need to tell her to take action now.
That freaks me out.
As the reading went on, I sorta forgot about, you know, everything that I thought was a little wackadoodle and started to really believe her.
I think Robin's telling me that my mom needs to open up and sort of get help.
I don't know what that means necessarily, but all I know is that my mom has a certain, you know, ticking time clock.
By you demonstrating your authentic self and living authentically, it will help her find her footing again.
If I wear, like, thermals with, like, thick sweatpants on top.
Do you think if I get shot in the legs, it'll hurt still? Mm-hmm, yeah.
I don't have any layers.
I have things that look good.
So basically I'm fucked.
This is a huge weekend.
We have paintball tomorrow, and then our first-annual White Trash Party the next day.
My role in the zombie movie calls for a lot of gun usage.
So any chance I can get to wield a gun, I'm gonna take.
Tomorrow, I'm packing.
And when you lose, you're getting it.
I'm gonna strap it on.
And the loser gets it.
I don't care, I'm kicking your ass tomorrow.
And then you're gonna take it like a bitch.
I'm gonna be doing the fucking around here.
Yeah? Let me tell you.
Are you? You wanna top me? - Mm-hmm.
- You want to? No, you don't.
Tor and I, we've been trying to work out our relationship.
You know, we've obviously hooked up before, not lately, but, you know, I think we have a lot of tension that needs to be worked out.
So a bet has been made.
Whoever wins at paintball gets to top the other person with a strap-on.
Winner takes all.
Loser gets boned.
She needs to watch her ass, literally.
This is gonna be absolutely ginormous.
Is he out of his frickin' mind? It's huge! After meeting with designer Dan, we just decided to limit him to the chandelier and the dining room.
And Dan has completely outdone himself.
I think he miscalculated the size of the room.
Listen, go big or go home with Dan.
Our designer has great vision, but our chandelier is colossal.
Oh, my God, that's just one arm? And there's 16 of them? - Is he on crack? - Gorgeous! More is more.
You know, it's a little larger than I envisioned.
- Hello.
- Yes? Um, what ballroom did you think that you were redesigning? So you're gonna be very glamorous, like fucking lesbian liberace.
All right, I need to get some kind of like a fur coat.
We're lesbian liberaces? I swear to God, Dan, I don't know if you really know how big this is.
Oh, you've already knocked me on my ass, but Yes, and don't let the giant chandelier scare you.
Can't wait to see you.
I'll send you a picture in a moment.
- See you.
- Okay.
Bye.
Bye, sweetie.
Bye.
Bye.
I love you too, bye.
Everyone, this is Mikey.
Mikey's the fucking shit.
Whitney called me and invited me to go paintballing.
I love shooting things.
Okay, Whit, here's some gloves for you, and some aviators and dog tags.
Wow.
This is how we roll.
In the last few weeks things have been really stressful with Fashion Week.
I just really need an outlet to cut loose and unwind.
And being able to shoot at people and not kill them, it's even better.
What's up? - How are you? - How are you? - Fuck, dude.
- So I invited my friend Rose, who I've known for, like, seven or eight years.
She's fucking kick-ass.
We go, like, way back.
Like, like, way back.
- Whitney.
- Rose.
Nice to meet you.
This is the first time meeting Rose.
She's a tall powerhouse.
She is like the pack leader of her homegirls.
We should play crew against crew.
Do you travel in a posse? Do you have your own crew? What are you talking yeah.
Come on, I came prepared.
I just need to be on opposing teams from this one.
- Why, is she good? - No.
Yeah.
She needs to protect her.
Listen, I need to be on a different team.
We have a bet going.
Oh, come on.
I'll put her right here.
All of our friends are a little bit more on the athletic side, not to mention, we grew up in the hood, so we know how to shoot.
I'm kidding.
Mikey's gonna lay in the cut and, like, just cherry pick.
The other girls are gonna be scared, dude.
They're gonna sit back, and they're gonna be scared.
Paintball rules.
The way it works is you have two teams.
If you get shot and you have paint on your body, you're out.
Whoever has the last man wins.
Now that we have an inside person, who do you think's gonna win? It's gonna be us.
They might have fancy equipment.
- They might have - Yeah, yeah.
We got heart.
We're like the bad news bears, the motliest crew you've ever seen.
Even though Tor is on team Rose, Rose's team is just solid.
I'm like, what the hell did I just step into? Whitney's getting bent over tonight.
This is gonna be me and Whitney.
- One, two, three.
- Kill! Three, two, one! Go! Go! Go! Don't shoot your people, you guys.
Don't shoot your people.
Over here, go, go! Ah.
Mikey, no! Oh! Fuck, I'm out.
Fuck.
She got you.
You're out! She's coming up! She's coming up! Right there.
Right there, girl.
Get down! Oh! I got you! Good job, Whitney! Keep going! There's one left.
Is that fucking Tor over there? There is one stealth little bandit up at the top of the hill, creeper keepers, sneaky snake.
Guess who it is.
It's Tor.
Get down, Tor.
Get down.
Oh, shit! It's Tor! Whitney, go! Go, Whitney, go! Get down, Whit! Where the fuck is she? Yeah, whoa, Whitney! Oh, fuck! Go, girl, yeah! Finally I get the shot.
Tor is out.
Guess who's last man standing.
This guy.
The underdogs won.
The bad news bears won.
And that therefore means that this little guy right here Oh, Tor, come baby koala.
- She is.
- I was a fighter.
And she's gonna be my little prize.
Oh-oh.
I win.
Yay! The psychic reading was extremely intense.
It resonated.
She said that my mother needs to change and needs to do it soon.
I want to help my mother and push her there.
Hey, mom.
Hey, Tracy.
What you up to? I'm at a park.
It's my lunch hour, and I'm reading a script and eating some lunch.
It's kind of beautiful actually.
It's gorgeous.
Oh, well, come out here.
How do I convince you to come out for my birthday? I want you to meet Stamie.
Let's play that one by ear.
I have my 30th birthday coming up.
It's a big birthday for me, and it means a lot, and I would hope that my mom would come out and help me celebrate it.
So, um, you know, we had sort of a handshake agreement way back that we weren't to talk about certain things.
Right.
I think some time has passed, and I sort of want to revisit, and I want to revise that agreement.
It's hard.
It's not easy.
You cannot blame me for the way I feel, and I bet you 100 million mothers out there feel the same way.
My mom and I kinda have a one-sided understanding.
We decided that I wasn't going to include her in the gay parts of my life.
She always tells me baby steps, which is something I used to say, but I actually don't need her to tell me baby steps anymore, because I've been so respectful.
And I think it's time that she respects me as well.
Well, you think maybe you are a little confused? Some people go through stages.
They like to experiment.
I know for me that it's not.
I'd be the first person to raise my hand and say it might be or fess up or whatever, but it's not, you know? It's hard.
It's not easy.
It takes time.
I know, I guess I'm just I'm I'm I'm very patient, but I guess I just wanna include you in all of my life, not just 90% of it.
I'm not yet at the point where I would feel comfortable seeing you close to that person in all the ways like you would do with a boy.
If you were with a boy, it's a total different thing to me.
You have to be in my shoes, okay? All right, I think my phone actually is gonna go any minute.
So you wanna call me later again? Okay.
Bye, mom.
- Okay, love you, sweetie.
- I love you.
Steph, Passover.
"Add another one to the non-meat eaters, me.
" Oh, no.
Five fish and six brisket.
So why are we making brisket? Oh, no, no, no, no.
Look out.
Hey, hey.
Oh, my God.
I am in total shock.
The chandelier fell.
It could have killed someone.
Oh, my God.
He's explaining to me why this fell.
Apparently it's too heavy.
So I guess it fell the weight of the base fell off that.
I'm glad that nobody got hurt, but my chandelier is ruined.
- Are you calling Dan? - What's up? - The chandelier crashed.
- You're kidding me.
- No.
- I can't believe it.
The showroom chandelier's been hanging for You know, it's had one hanging in there for months.
I'm not comfortable with it.
Even if this is a faulty one, and he's telling me that the ones in the showroom are fine, Jill doesn't want it.
She can't be in the living room with that thing.
She's freaking out.
It just, like, just missed her.
She's freaking out.
Don't give it a second thought right now.
Just let me deal with them.
Okay.
Thank you.
Bye.
I don't want it falling on guests, I don't want it falling on me and you, and I don't want it falling on the dog.
That chandelier is amazing.
They didn't hang it properly.
That chandelier needs to be in this house.
What are you looking for? I'm looking for a new strap-on, and you've gotta help me find it.
I'm a big fan and supporter of toys.
I mean, I have a strap-on.
It's a very personal thing you're sharing with someone.
So I don't necessarily want to have one strap-on that I just use with everyone.
It would be like some guy, like, not washing his dick between having sex with two girls.
I need something that looks good but it still functionable.
Like, I need to really hold it up, because How 'bout this glitter action right here? No, no.
Number one, I'm not down with the glitter.
And also that does not give good support.
I need something to be, like, up here.
I don't even understand this.
I don't either.
This is too fancy pants.
Oh, it's for two girls.
No? Well, that's what's there's gonna be two girls there.
- This is huge.
- That's huge.
- That's not gonna work.
- I'd be pissed.
Yeah, I know you would.
I know you would.
See, that's why I bring you along.
Whitney is such a top that she needs some sort of bottom perspective.
So that's where I come in.
How 'bout this guy? Hey, that guy looks good.
I like where this is going.
It's simple yet stylish.
Nothing I like more than finding a nice dildo.
I want to pick out that special one that just speaks to me from the shelf.
I'd see you with a big, black penis.
All right, well, pssh.
All right, listen, I think something that matches with my skin tone would be better.
This is like your skin tone in the winter.
I'm saying if I were a guy, I think I'd have a giant cock.
I like it.
Whit, you need lube.
Hey, can you recommend a good lube? Yeah, definitely.
I have this all-natural one that a lot of people are picking right now.
It's the Lovrub stuff right here.
Lovrub.
Yeah, it has female sexual enhancement gel, so you can try that.
That actually feels good.
I mean, in a bromance kinda way, you're turning me on.
We'll take it.
- All right, have a good night.
- Bye, ladies.
See you later.
I'm exhausted.
Tor is pretty new to the scene, and she is yet to have strap-on sex.
There's a bag next to the bed full of things that she's never used before and I'm waiting to use.
So really at this point why not use them? I'm cashing in on my winnings tonight.
- This comes off? - This comes off.
That was that was good.
That's what you do.
Yeah, that's good.
Let's turn the lights off.
Don't give me that look.
So can I cash in on that bet now? Really? I was trying to get a hold of you, because I don't want you to hear it from anybody because I don't want you to get nervous about it.
She felt pain on her side, and then she couldn't walk anymore, so she was trying to get upstairs to tell Ray.
She said to call 911 'cause the pain was really bad.
I'm getting ready right now.
All right, cool, so I'll see you there.
I'm going with Natalie right now.
We should probably be there in about 30 minutes.
I just got a call, and I was told my grandmother was rushed to the hospital, so I'm rushing over there to go see her.
The thought of even her being sick, let alone possibly losing her, is just, like, the worst feeling I could possibly ever feel.
Nat, not a lot of time for that shit.
Rose, could you stop, please? Yeah, you need to stop, dude.
I'm not doing anything.
Anytime Rose goes through anything, she's more to herself.
But I can't read her mind, and I don't know what I need to do for her.
I need you right now.
I need you not to be a bitch right now.
I'm not being a bitch right now.
My grandmother's never been in the hospital before, so it's a jarring feeling.
I can't imagine life without her.
I don't think anybody in my family could.
I'm a keeper, aren't I? Yeah.
So basically I cash in on my bet, and, yeah, that's that.
Victoria and I had sex basically with my strap-on, like, balls to the wall, like, no inhibitions.
Yeah, victory has been sealed.
Baby koala.
It was a while since Whitney and I had hooked up, and it was fucking amazing.
Whitney and I, we're good together, and we have something together.
I just I don't know where it's gonna go.
Today is Passover and Dan's here to set the table, install everything, have the candles lit, the flowers done.
We're really looking forward to our first Passover here in the house.
- No.
- A dog bone? Baby, I don't want to look at a shank bone, I really don't.
It grosses me out.
God appreciates the effort.
I wish I paid more attention in Hebrew school.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How you doing? - Overwhelmed.
There is so much pressure to make sure the place is gorgeous, and the table is set.
Okay, that's fine.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Just a minute.
- No, no, no.
That's a bad waiting room.
I gotta go shower.
I can't.
I gotta go.
- Yeah, take a shower.
- Enjoy.
Dan has brought a lot of things in to make the table and our holiday really special, and I appreciate that, but it's just a little stressful in here.
Looks like the Ritz.
What can I tell you? - Mm-hmm.
- It's my job.
It's pretty exquisite what that man did.
I would not have been able to do on my own in my wildest dreams.
I mean, it's just so lavish, and it's beautiful.
There you go.
- Yes.
- Okay, is my work done? - It's not so terrible, huh? - It looks damn good.
I'm gonna get cleaned up, and I'll see you in a minute.
All right.
Since the chandelier fell, Jill has been adamant about not putting up another one, although I have other plans.
Do you like everything? - It's amazing.
- Do you love everything? Love everything.
Did you talk to Dan about the chandelier? No.
Why do we keep bringing up the chandelier? Because it's an issue.
Well, there's no need to hash it out tonight.
Huh? There's no need to hash it out tonight.
But I feel like you need to speak to him.
What, is this imminent? Jill, do you think that a chandelier maker would continue to be in business Then tell me the chances.
What are the chances that it happened to have fallen that day? Maybe the installer did not do it properly.
Could you just talk to Dan before you close your mind completely, please? He has one in his showroom.
It hasn't fallen.
Does it matter? I mean, really? It does matter.
I'm saying, just talk to him.
I am definitely frustrated, and I don't necessarily know if we're paying much attention to the other's feelings as well as we should be.
So for now I think we're gonna just hold tight on replacing the chandelier.
And let me tell you something, this argument, she is not winning.
There is no chandelier in my home.
Moving forward.
Grape drink.
I would love to be lying in bed with Tor, but the day has arrived.
It is White Trash Pool Party day.
I like this.
This is brilliant.
And I'm not gonna lie, my sister and I, we come from a little bit of White Trash.
If you have more cars that don't work in your driveway than do, you're white trash.
If you have your main source of beverage as tang, you might be a little white trash.
You know what, it's a good way to be raised.
Look at how this kid turned out.
Okay, Julia, you're gonna make the play list.
Tor, you're gonna sit down and Facebook.
I'm not on Facebook.
I have a job for you.
It's a very special job, and I only give it to special people.
There's a lot that goes into a White Trash party.
We have basketball chairs, lots of very cheap, disgusting beer, jell-o shots, pink flamingos, and the best part, creamed corn lube wrestling.
Okay, so let me tell you a little bit about the event and what we need.
So L.
A.
Fashion Week is this coming up weekend.
It's, like, nutso.
It's huge.
It's the five days before Fashion Week.
It's down to fucking business, and we have to get the job done.
Cannot be stopped.
Make sure that today everything goes to fucking print.
One thing to always remember in my company is I'm the boss and everybody else is an employee or an intern.
When I come in and stuff is all screwed up and there's little things that have to be taken care of and I'm the one doing them, it really pisses me off.
Nobody's cleaning in here.
This is goddamn nuts.
Place is getting, like, out of control and messy.
Goddamn these fucking black hangers.
All these fucking hangers that aren't ours need to go back to who they belong to.
It's driving me a little bit nuts.
Mikey's getting totally frantic.
You know, Mikey likes to be in control of what's going on.
So, you know, don't fuck with her.
If they didn't send an email with all the proper contact information then they don't get put on the list.
They've been emailed back and asked for the proper information.
We've only had one person dedicated to this entire RSVP thing so there wouldn't be any issues with it.
And I've been watching I've been sitting next to Ceci every single day.
Bryan, calm down.
Let me get over to where I can check on this.
Just give me, like, 20 minutes.
I'll call you right back.
Bye.
Look at Bryan's emails.
Remember I told you, I never got an email back from him.
Yeah, I know, and I want you to resend the fucking email to him.
Put that in the email, "we never received an email confirming that Mena Suvari was coming, however, we will go ahead and put her on the list.
" I don't know if it was on this computer or on that computer.
I think it was on that computer.
Ceci is really far behind on these RSVPs.
I thought she was caught up.
I thought you were keeping a file.
I cannot, cannot, cannot waste one more minute, 'cause this has been a source of contention, and it's just been a big headache.
Forward it back to Bryan.
Forward that back to Bryan right now.
Forward that back to him right now.
But at the end of the day, my balls are on the line with my designers and my big top attendees.
I got somebody bitching me that isn't even paying me a fucking dollar, and I love it.
It's fucking great.
I just sent four emails Pull up every fucking email you sent to Bryan! Every email that's ever gone to Bryan, pull 'em all up and fucking send them back to him! Send him every goddamn email he's ever fucking sent me.
I just did.
It's about to get fucking loose right now, 'cause we are really pumping up.
We're getting lube and more creamed corn for this pool.
So come here right now quick.
This is one of the best I fucked Tor with the strap-on.
- Excuse me? - I fucked Tor with the strap-on.
How was it? Angie! Hey! Hey! Listen, this is gonna be good.
The party is going off.
The problem is that, you know, Romi shows up.
Hey, there's about to be a creamed corn wresting match.
I don't know whether to laugh or say, "fuck my life.
" But honestly, at this point, I just want to have fun.
We're having a group wrestling match.
No.
Me, you, Julia, and Romi.
- I'm not involved.
- I'm not involved.
Scarlett.
Creamed corn? - Let's do it.
- Wow.
This is why I love Scarlett.
There was no hesitation.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Creamed Corwrestling.
The rules of this competition: There are no rules.
Once I stepped into it, it was so slippery.
I was like, okay, this is gonna have to be strategic.
One, two, three! Let's get ready to rumble! Julia has been designated as the announcer, and Scarlett has a coach that is a giant vagina.
What the hell type of fucked-up acid trip is this that we're on? Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
I cannot breathe.
I'm trying to just trip her and try to, like, get her over my knees, and I just knew that she would be just worried about her dreads.
One! Two! Three! Who let me go in that pool without a shower cap on? Victoria, I see you.
Tor! Tor! Tor! So who's coming into round two? Tor is a team player.
She's down for whatever.
That's why I love her.
She doesn't look to happy about it, but nonetheless she gets in the pool.
One, two, three! Let's get ready to rumble! Come on! One! Two! No! She's up, she's up, she's up.
I take her down, but she's a slippery little devil.
I'm also not gonna lie on the fact that I'm slightly turned on at this matchup.
One! Two! Three! Victor! Maybe we should take the creamed corn wrestling in the bedroom or something.
It's kinda nice.
I'm just saying.
Double team Whitney.
You guys are making me sick to my stomach.
Thanks for bringing me out here.
- It's really pretty.
- Of course.
My mom's gonna love you.
Hopefully she comes out for my birthday.
We'll see.
I really hope my mom shows up to my 30th birthday.
It's, you know, a milestone birthday.
It's a big deal for me.
But I'm not really sure as to whether she's gonna come or not.
I don't know.
You know, hopefully.
My mom has to, like, sort her stuff out sort of, you know, with the divorce, and she had the rug pulled out from underneath her.
She's kinda figuring out how it is to stand again.
- Right.
- You know? And I think once she deals with that, she's probably gonna deal with this, you know, this whole situation.
My parents have only known for a few years.
And your parents are good with it now mostly.
I mean, they're good.
They're good.
Like, your mom, she loves you unconditionally, but that doesn't mean she necessarily wants all her friends to know that her daughter's a muff-diver, you know? Don't say it like that.
When you meet my mom, you can't mention muff-diver.
That she's a clam-jumper.
- You can't - I'm delirious.
I know.
Let's be serious.
Come here, honey.
It's a lot of pressure, being the first girlfriend her mom meets.
But if her mom comes out, I think that'll be half the battle.
I just wonder how the first meeting's gonna be, and it's like my two favorite girls.
- I think it'll be fine.
- I think so too.
And I'll be polite.
I'm not gonna do anything in front of her to make her feel uncomfortable, you know? You already friend requested her on Facebook.
How'd that turn out? I think if my mom doesn't accept my invitation to come out for my 30th, I'm gonna be extremely bummed, and I'm gonna be sad.
Is it over here? Yes! Scarlett, boom.
Go, go, go.
Hey, you're such a fucking pain in my ass.
- Why? - In my ass.
- In it? - Yeah.
Not around it.
- Come.
- Where? Where are the girls? Go ahead.
I'll follow your lead.
What happened with that rematch? So I'm standing outside talking to Romi.
And the next thing I know, she grabs me and pulls me into my bedroom.
I love how white trash I really am.
I feel so comfortable with her, like, in bed.
Really comfortable.
Like, just let it all go.
Listen, do you want me to - Yeah, I do.
- You do? There is a party going on that I'm hosting.
I should really be out there.
But, you know, it's like a drunken stupor type thing.
So I can't stop myself.
I am a pussy slut.
I'm gonna fuck you really good.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
They're in the same fucking room right now? Scarlett, do you not realize that? Oh! Honestly, like, it's fucking ridiculous.
They're in a room together right now.
Oh, shit.
Thank you guys all for coming, 'cause I love you guys.
Jill and I are not religious, but we're traditional.
This is important because it's a wonderful tradition, and it's just a nice way to share it with your friends and your family.
And no disrespect to Passover, but, you know, it's good to keep the laughter going.
And the Lord said to Moses, "say unto Aaron, 'take thy rod and stretch thy hand 'over the waters of Egypt, over their rivers over their streams.
'" he said, "rod.
" This is a lesbian Seder.
This Seder is hands-down one of the all-time funniest seders I've ever sat through.
Let my people go! Hey, let my people go! But at the same time, you know, it's hard for me to be far from my own family on these kind of holidays, because I typically try to go back and be with them.
You know, I've celebrated my entire life with family.
But I'm doing this in my home with the family that I'm about to build.
It's very meaningful to have you guys all here in our home as Nik and I have our very first Passover Seder.
As an engaged couple.
- Ohh! - In our new home.
It means a lot to have you in our lives.
Thank you for having us.
- Thank you.
- Happy Passover.
- Happy Passover! - Yay! We had the best time, and I think it made it feel like our home together.
I do want to give Jill the world.
She gives me the world, so I want to reciprocate.
I just want to say thank you, guys, for coming and really sharing this with us, 'cause it's been amazing.
And, Dan, for setting a gorgeous table and making our house look amazing.
And For leading our Seder.
Yes.
Oh! Love you.
My grandmother ended up having pneumonia, and she probably had it for quite some time, because she kept complaining about a pain on her side.
And, you know, she waited till it got to the point where she couldn't even walk anymore, and my uncle had to call 911, and they took her to the hospital.
When I initially saw her in the hospital, 'cause I've never seen her that way, like, I completely broke down, like, I lost it.
My grandmother is a patient there.
- What can I do for you? - Yeah.
I just wanted to let them know, 'cause I went to visit her just a little while ago - Yeah.
- And she's kinda stubborn, and she did tell me that she likes to go to the bathroom on her own.
Yeah, but we told her not to.
All she has to do is hit the red button.
Okay, perfect.
Thank you, have a great night.
- Sure, fine.
Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
Just let her know that she's stable, she's fine.
She's okay.
All I can think about is my grandmother.
That makes perfect sense.
Everything else is secondary at this point right now.
I could give a shit if 100 people show up or if 10 people show up.
It doesn't matter.
My best friend, Irene, is having her party tonight.
You know, I promised her I would go.
She's a promoter, and she expects me to be there, so I'm obligated to go.
I can't even see with this.
I need my compact.
And this party we have to go to tonight, I'm not really in the mood.
So wish I didn't have to go.
Hey, do you ever know what happened to my lace gloves? No, I don't, I don't I wouldn't even care about that.
Yeah, you need to hurry.
My aunt said, "there's too many people there.
I feel bad.
Your grandma's tired.
" - Does she really? - Yep.
Rose is kinda bitchy all day, which is understandable, and I was trying to be really understanding to that.
But when Rose is mad at me, she kinda hits me where it hurts, and Angel's her ex-girlfriend.
No, I'm just chillin'.
I'm just waiting for you.
For tonight's party, I'm hoping that Rose and I don't fight.
But at the same time, I'm like, you know, you kinda just, you know, you have that gut feeling.
But I hope tonight's not the night.
What time is this over? Baby, like, midnight.
Okay, I'm just asking 'cause I think it's midnight.
I think it's midnight.
Can't see a fucking thing.
Okay, come on, dude.
It's, like, right here.
How do they not know where the entrance I'm just gonna go.
Rose, relax a little bit.
Like, I know you're in a bad, bitchy mood, but, babe, you need to really calm down.
Like, you're being mean to everyone for no reason.
Hold on, Nat, you're being a bitch.
No no, you've been you've been Nat, you need to stop right now.
Okay, fine, I'll stop, but just so you know You need to fucking stop right now.
I'm asking you for the third time to stop right now.
Don't talk to me like you're my mom, 'cause you're not.
If I'm being a bitch, then everybody's being fucking stupid.
No, you're being a total fucking asshole is what you're doing.
You've been a heartless fucking bitch I'm heartless? Whatever, okay.
- Heartless, great.
- Bye, Nat.
I felt like, I understand that you're going through a lot, but, like, there's no need for you to be mean right now.
Nat, you can go.
I'll see you in a minute.
- I'm waiting for you, Rose.
- I don't want you to.
Like, I'm your girlfriend.
Don't be a dick.
Yeah, but I'm waiting for you.
I don't care.
Of course you wouldn't wait for me.
Raquel and I have been working really hard.
Our schedules have both been really crazy and hectic.
Unfortunately, this is our last night to spend some time together before the craziness of Fashion Week.
Cheers.
- Date night.
- Date night.
Date night.
What do they say in A.
A.
, babe? So I got a call from the peeps for Saturday's thing.
They're gonna have the, um, stylist call me.
Let's not talk about you, or work, or me, or work.
Let's talk about us.
What's in your head? Work.
You know, most people have 9:00 to 5:00 jobs, and they don't necessarily skip a beat.
With us, we work very different schedules.
So it's really hard to, you know, spend that quality time.
You know, so to reconnect in that space, you know, isn't always so easy.
Is it hard not talking about work to me? No.
I I forget to not.
So it's good to be reminded.
You lose perspective, like, what matters in life, you know what I mean? So, yeah, it's like, it's not easy to turn it off, you know what I mean? You're like you're addicted to it.
It's like, "gotta make it happen, gotta do this, gotta do that, gotta do this.
" You know what I mean? I'm so excited for Fashion Week, but it's hard to find time with Mikey.
So we have to set and plan our time.
When we have a day off, we have a day off.
Nothing else can happen but being together.
That's how I feel too.
Even on my days off, it's really hard to decompress.
Like, I'm serious, it's really fucking hard.
Like, and then I get on the phone with you, you're like, "hi, babe, I'm doing this and that and this and ba-ba-da-da," and I'm just like, look at us.
It's really tough to, like, always have to put work first.
At the times when I put my relationship first, my business gets harmed.
When I put my business first, my relationship gets harmed.
At the end of the day, like, my heart belongs to her, and it's where I want to be, but I would hope that I would never have to be put in the position to have to choose between my work or my relationship.
That would be the most gut-wrenching thing.
And I love her a lot, and when we're together it's so perfect.
That was nice.
At this point right now, the party is more of a burden.
My head's just not in it.
You gotta introduce me to the girls.
The girls out there look really pretty.
Good job.
I need a hug.
I love you.
Hey, this is my sister.
My sister is spinning there so I pretty much just hang out with my sister.
- Where's Rose? - I don't know.
I just go down there with her, 'cause she normally always cools me down.
And I just stay as far away as possible from Rose.
This table's for you and Natalie.
- Do you wanna sit with her? - No, no, no.
- Want a glass of wine? - No, I want a shot.
Natalie and I have a lot of tension.
You know, she's downstairs.
You know, I'm doing my thing.
- Yeah, I'm single now.
- What happened? Huh? You know me.
You know how I go through girls.
No, I'm doing a drink.
My ex-girlfriend Angel knows my grandma's sick, and pretty much just sent me a text supporting me and just letting me know that everything's gonna be okay.
I want to see Angel, 'cause she kinda makes me feel better sometimes.
Natalie would be extremely upset if she knew that Angel and I were communicating.
- Bye.
- Be safe.
You know, I'm kinda like not wanting to be there and dealing with a lot of stuff, and I don't really give a fuck about what Natalie thinks.
I'm really angry that she never took my feelings into consideration.
I can't believe my girlfriend left.
Ha ha! She left? She left here? Like, she left, she's gone.
One of Rose's friends, Danielle, tells me, "you know, Rose left," and I'm like, "what?" I think when you're in a couple relationship and you live together, no matter how pissed you are at each other, you guys have to, if you guys get there together, - you have to leave together.
- I'll take you home.
I don't know, I don't care.
But I care.
Rose left by herself.
Shh.
- I hate you.
- No.
All right, you go out first.
Romi and I just came in here and unexpectedly hooked up on the bed.
I did not expect this.
There's a party out there, and people were knocking.
I'm not really sure what just happened.
Last night, Whitney just had sex with Tor with the strap-on, and Whitney has disappeared for a while with Romi, and this upsets Tor.
I'm so upset with Whitney, because she's so drunk she's wondering what she's done wrong.
How do you think that makes her feel? Well, what the fuck is wrong with her? Answer the question.
It's that you fucked her and now you've been in a room for a long fucking while with Romi.
Everyone knows that.
Okay? - No, it's not okay.
- It's not.
And I have to go talk to her.
Tor was apparently crying and upset.
You know, at this moment, the realization is hitting me so hard of what a bad decision that was, 'cause it was too right in Tor's face.
Where the fuck were you? You were just in a room with fucking Romi forever.
You're being such a fucking bitch.
Seriously, like, you're being such a fucking douche.
You can't go to Romi's house to bone? I'm a piece of shit.
I don't know why you talk to me.
Like, you're letting people that care about you and love you down, for what? Just go.
It's your world, baby.
I don't have the key to get in the house, 'cause we came together.
She's not here.
Call Rose really quickly.
She's a fucking asshole, dude.
Please leave your message for I'm freaking out at this point.
Being that I can't get in, I'm calling, calling, calling.
She doesn't answer.
I'm gonna come home with you.
So I'm going to my friends Char and Dre's house.
You guys always experience the worst of us.
We're not a bad couple.
Like, we're not a dramatic, crazy couple.
She's just overwhelmed with her grandma being sick, and it's, like, extra stress.
But, like, the way she's handling her stress is not a way that I can understand, and I can understand everything.
Rose, she believes in revenge, I think.
Or I don't know.
I think she just doesn't care about how I feel and just is gonna do whatever she wants.
I want to move forward from this day and give her the benefit of the doubt.
No, Natalie, that's your problem.
You give people the benefit of the doubt all the time.
Like, realize, homegirl, realize.
She's not mad at you.
- She just wants - Frustrating, babe.
Does her ex live where does she live? Wait, why are we so worried about her ex? I don't care about her ex.
I care about other girls, not her ex.
That's your problem.
That's who she's with.
Rose fucking left you.
She left you, Natalie.
I don't want to think about leaving.
It would be unfortunate, but, you know, I think my mom always taught me to love myself first.
I feel so overwhelmed.
It's not often that I, like, lose it and break down.
Like, I like to pride myself on being strong or whatever.
Like, I just am fucked up.
Why are you fucked up? I don't know why I do things I do sometimes, and then Tor is pissed.
She felt like something was rekindling between the two of you, and it just made her have high hopes for something.
And you're sharing your bed with Victoria.
And that's mad awkward for you to be having to sleep in the same bed with her after just fucking her, like, last night and then during a house party fuck somebody else in the bed that she's supposed to sleep with you in tonight.
You know, like, it's disrespectful.
Just keep in mind that, like, there are other people's feelings, like, floating around, and you can't just, like, stomp all over them and expect everybody to not get upset.
I think tonight I let a lot of people down.
This is not even me.
Like or may I mean, maybe it is me.