The Righteous Gemstones (2019) s03e07 Episode Script

Burn for Burn, Wound for Wound, Stripe for Stripe

- Attention, pharmacy!
I need some salves and shit
for intense body beatings!
For what?
Look, my husband got the
living shit beat out of him
and it's all my fault!
Help me take his pain away, pronto!
You're a fucking idiot.
That's what you are.

Make me feel good.
Make me feel good.
Sleeping single in a double bed ♪
Tossing, turning, trying to forget ♪
I could be lying with you instead ♪
Turn your brights off, you dumb cunt.
Single in a double bed ♪
I said turn your brights off.
This ain't fucking "Jurassic Park."
Fuck. What the fuck?

- Oh, my God!
Single in a double bed ♪
Ahh! Fuck!
- Get out!
I should have held
you but I let you go ♪
Now I'm the one
sleeping all alone, oh ♪
No, no, no!
Sleeping single in a double bed ♪
Tossing, turning, trying to forget ♪

Are there any woodworkers in there?
I'm looking for Keefe Chambers!



[SCREAMS] Oh, God!
I am so embarrassed for you guys,
because I am a
professional martial artist.
That's right.
I trained with the Gracie family.
Royce and Jeff.
All of the Gracie brothers!


[WHISTLES] How you doin', cuz?
Workin' late?
Yeah. Lord's work is never done.
What, you miss me? [CHUCKLES]
I sure did.
Wanna come for a ride?
Where's the Redeemer?
Old boy needed a rest.
Come on. Let's just you and me hang.
Take a break from the sibs.
Well, you know I love
a sibs-free hang sesh.
I'll tell you what. I'll join you.
I left something in my
car, my phone charger.
Let me grab that shit real quick.

Back the fuck up, cuz.

What are you gonna do?
Kill all of us here in
the church parking lot?
Hey, get the fuck back!
Back up!
Yeah, yeah!

You motherfucker.
Praise ♪

Praise ♪
God damn it!
Who the fuck do you think you are?
- That sounds like Jesse.
- Shit, they got him too.
Ah, shit! Shit!
I'll kill you!
I'll rip your assholes out
and eat it and kill you!
[ZIPPING] God damn it!
Get these pillow cases
off our fucking faces!
I'm thirsty!
- Kelvin, Judy, what is this?
- Man, I have no clue.
These fucking animals
snatched me right out my whip.
Who the heck are these guys?
Who do you think?
It's the cousins.
Fucking betrayer Chuck
was waiting for me.
Ambushed me in the fucking
Gemstone parking lot.
The cousins?
Why the fuck?
I have no clue.
I figured out the part about
the cousins being involved.
Maybe y'all can find
some fucking clues too.
I got here ten minutes before you did.
All right, Kelvin.
Well, that's plenty of
time to ask a simple,
"What the fuck is happening?"
Let me guess.
You were just sitting
there quitting, giving up.
Okay, I'm in no mind space
to be teased right now.
And the reason I quit is 'cause
no one in church believed in me, Jesse,
including you.
Are y'all really just sitting in here
talking about church work?
We have been kidnapped,
you fucking bitches!
No duh, Judy.
And for your information,
it's not called kidnapping
when it's adults.
It's an abduction, you dumbass.
You know what, Jesse?
Puke on yourself and eat it, please.
- Kelvin!

Is that you in here
screaming like a woman?
Please don't hurt us.
Uncle Peter, what the
fuck are you doing?
Well, Jesse,
we're gonna ransom you
to your daddy for money.
You fucking Montgomerys are so low.
We're family!
Well, them's the breaks, Jesse.
We been handed some
tough breaks ourselves
over the years.
Maybe it's about time
y'all experienced some too.
Man, shut up, Chuck!
You deserve this life, dude!
Living in the woods
with a bunch of incels
gazing into each other's dick holes!
You suck, Chuck.
Big Karl, I can't see you
because I got this bag on my head,
but I can smell ya.
You better do something to stop this.
If you don't, we ain't
gonna be cousins no more.
No more being cousins, Big Karl.
Wow, Karl.
That must really hurt.
Come on. Want some of this?
How 'bout you get a little closer?
Yeah, laugh in my face, Uncle Peter.
- Huh?
- Fucking bastard.
- I think they left.
No, we're still here.
- God damn it!
- Fuck you!
It's not funny to do jokes like that.

Y'all seen the handsome man?

Chad, have you heard from Jesse?
He he never came home last night.
What's going on?
Dad's missing.
Let me know if you hear from him, okay?
Thank you.

Judy, it's me again.
If you're out with someone,
I wish you would just let me know.
If you don't call me back
soon, I'm not gonna be h
I might not be here when you get back,
so call me.
It's BJ.

Left at the church this morning.
loves me, this I know ♪
For the Bible tells me so ♪
Little ones to him belong ♪
They are weak, but He is strong ♪
Yes, Jesus loves me ♪
- Fucking Montgomerys!
Good morning.
Peter Montgomery.
And how can I help you
on this blessed day?
This is what you're doing now?
Eli, you ruined my life.
You didn't think I
was gonna make you pay?
Let my kids go, Peter.
You got involved with my boys,
and now I'm getting
involved with your offspring.
Five million a head.
You want to see all three?
That's 15 mil.
You call me back when you
have your finances in order.


It's on.
You must think I'm fucking stupid.
Sure I do, but what does
that have to do with anything?
Your sons have fucked me over.
Like an idiot, I fell for it.
I let you all in.
The hell you talking about?
Peter and your boys kidnapped my kids.
Nice boys you got there, May-May.
All that Bible-thumping really
raised them up right, huh?
Oh, no. You got your facts mixed up.
This is some kind of mistake.
What have your kids
dragged my boys into?
My kids? It's your kids!
I bet your kids are trying
to scam you for money.

You're a self-righteous
asshole, May-May.
I've been nothing but kind to you.
And for what?
To have your lowlife boys fuck me over?
I will not sit here
and let you use abusive
language about my boys.
I will leave your home!
You ain't goin' nowhere.

It's filthy as fuck in here.
Chicken doo-doo is
getting all ground into
my fucking seduction dress.
How can you eat in this
dirty-ass heat, Jesse?
- God dang.
- Ugh.
Because after I finish
eating this orphanage food,
I'ma fold this bowl into a knife.
And when that door opens
and the little one walks in,
I'm gonna slay him,
cut his fucking face off,
and wear it as a mask.
Then I'm gonna walk out of here,
hotwire The Redeemer,
smash every fucking thing
I can in here, and escape.
How's that sound?
Sounds insane and not doable.
There is no way you'd
fit that man's face
over your gigantic face.
- Oof.
Serves you right,
trying to argue with me.
Fucking fat face that, you little bitch.
You know, literally, that's the thing
that pisses me off
the most about you two.
Every single fucking
time I suggest anything,
you two are so eager just
to jump down my throat,
punch holes in my shit.
Homeboy, like you're not
trying to always argue with us.
You're constantly acting like
we're gonna mess everything up.
You do mess everything up.
Name one fucking thing.
Your fucking marriage.
Shut up, Jesse.
I will fucking kill you!
Excuse me!
Militia people!
I demand to be held captive
in a private silo right now!
So it's your kin that's done this?
So it needs to be handled sensitively.
The man's part of a violent militia.
It's a nightmare.
Well, it might be cold comfort,
but I guarantee he has a headache
now that he's got your
three kids on his hands.
Maybe he'll get worn
down and just let 'em go.
I said the same thing.
Well, let's do whatever has to be done
to get them back.
I agree, Daddy.
Does your face have
anything to do with this?
I'd like to keep the focus
on the victims, if we could.
Priority should be
on bringing them home.
Have you thought about just paying 'em?
[SIGHS] Nobody listens to me,
but if I was you, Eli, I
wouldn't pay 'em a dime.
I would just flat-out refuse.
Has he made any threats
to hurt 'em or kill 'em
if you don't pay?
Isn't that implied when
you hold someone hostage?
Peter ain't a killer. He's bluffing.
Peter has actually killed somebody once.
He did?
- Yes.
- It's how he got shot in the face.
I wondered what that was,
but thought it rude to ask.
I thought maybe a spear or
something went through there.
A spear?
- Oh, family!
I came as soon as I heard, now.
My precious niece and nephews!
[SIGHS] Lionel has been a mess,
worried sick about his cousins.
- He's so sick.
Lionel, stop crying! Ain't
nobody gonna ransom you!
I made these dollies
that look just like
Jesse, Judy, and Kelvin
so you can hug and kiss these
until they get home safe.
Thank you, sweetheart.
Very much appreciated. Thank you.
That's a good job with the voodoo dolls.
Thanks, Tiff.
Excuse me. Scoot over a little.
Hey, Eli.
Now, you might not have known this,
but me and Jesse, we had an agreement.
So I just want to make sure now,
if something were to happen to him,
you're still gonna
honor the series pickup
of "Bible Bonkers," now?
Uh, Bible what?
Uh, Baby Billy,
maybe now's not the time for that.
I feel horrible that I thought
she was out having
another roll in the hay.
You know, the worst part of this
is just how much of
this is out of our hands.
We have so little say in this.
Jesse knew it was a bad idea
to have the Montgomerys
here in the first place.
That was Eli who wanted them here,
and now he has May-May in
the room going, "Don't pay"?
It's complete madness.
- Hey.
- What?
It's Kelvin's friend, Chief.
Oh, I think his name is Quiche.
I always heard it as Heath.
Oh, we're g okay.
Something's happened
to Kelvin, didn't it?
My senses say yes.
He was abducted
- Along with Jesse and Judy.

Please, let me help.
I'll sacrifice my life
and my body if need be.
You know what?
The authorities are already on it,
and and they're doing
everything they can,
so it's not gonna
- You don't have to do that.
- Yeah.
You're right. I shouldn't be here.
This is a family crisis situation.
I'll go.
Okay, thank you.
You're Kelvin's friend.
We're family.

We're in this together.

All I ever

- Okay.
- Thank you.
That was beautiful.
Redeemer ♪
Redeemer ♪
- Redeemer ♪
Redeemer ♪
We're gonna get more money
than we know what to do with!
- Hey, Peter!
- What?
What are we gonna do
with all that money?
I say we poison the water supply in
In some liberal city!
Redeemer ♪
Let's blow up one of them 5G towers!
All very good ideas!
You know what?
I think we're gonna do 'em all!
Redeemer ♪
Redeemer ♪
- Reach up, grab it.
Yep. Come on. Make yourself longer.
Shit, y'all. I can't reach it.
Maybe Kelvin can somersault
up here or something.
I mean normally, yeah, I could,
but you know, I am
malnourished right now.
I don't think I'd have the ups.
Motherfucker, you couldn't flip up there
on a full belly or not.
Oh, you don't think I'd
flip up there on a full belly?
- No.
- All right, fine. Judy, come on down.
I'll show you. Come on down. Get down.
Oh, this is gonna be good.
Wanna see this? Freak athleticisms?
- This is gonna be great.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
Let's watch Kelvin
break his fucking neck.
You need a lot of force, Kelvin.
Clap your hands, y'all.
Let's build that energy.
Sonic boom.
Come on, big dog.
You got this.


- Ooh!
- Oh, God!
Was that close?
Not at all.
[DOOR CLANKS] Oh, shit.
- Hey.
What are y'all in here doing?
Talking shit about you. [CHUCKLES]
Pa says y'all can come out now.
Did Daddy pay? Are we going home?
Time for church.
Pa wants y'all to lead us. [SCOFFS]
All right, quiet.
Let's see what old Eli
passed down to his seeds
What kind of talents did he nurture?
Curious, what kind of
apple fell from that tree?
I bet rotten ones.
Fuck off, Chuck.
You say that one more time.
[WHISPERING] Thanks, Jesse.
Okay, fine.
He wants to preach?
Well, preach.
Mm! Praise be to He, Jesse!
You know, I'm used to us
looking down at our loyal congregation
from high above on our
awesome, well-lit stage,
but it is such a treat
to be eye-level with
such good, Christian men.
And I can tell looking
at these men right now
as they're looking back
at us, they are wondering,
"Why would we hold these good
Christian people hostage?"
- Amen.
- Amen.
- This is wrong.
- Look at 'em.
They're having a change
of heart right now.
They're almost having a change of heart.
Perhaps if, uh, dear sis were
to sing a ditty right now,
that would help to change
their hearts and minds.
- Uh
- Yep, do a song.
Well, dear bro, the, uh [CHUCKLES]
The thing is, there's no PA system.
There's no band. There's
no backup dancers.
Okay, well, true talents
don't need, uh, PA systems.
They do the shit a cappella.
What would I even sing?
Not trying to, like, bust out
Bobby McFerrin shit
up in a barn, you know?
Well, no one said to do Bobby McFerrin.
We're just asking you
to just do a simple
- Just sing a regular song.
- Just a basic hymn, anything.
- All right. Shh.
- Something from church.
Just do it. What's wrong with you?
Who would we be ♪
We're doing this?
- Jesus ♪
- Dow-dow ♪
Wah-wah, bow-bow ♪
Boy, your daddy didn't
leave you with much, did he?
[LAUGHTER] I mean, that's laughable!
Hey, boys,
that's why you never
get jealous of people.
I mean, Eli raised his
family with more money,
but he forgot to give
them one simple gift.

His time.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Threw money at you instead
of raising you right.

Jesus loves.
You know, religion used
to teach us about fear.
- Fear of God
- Yeah!
- Fear of the devil
- Yes!
Fear of burnin' in hell!
- Yes!
- Yeah!
[SOFTLY] Fear.



Kept people in line.
Hey, Gemstones.
You know what?

If I gave you this snake here to hold
Don't. I don't want to hold it.
All the money in the world
ain't gonna save you if he bit ya.
No, sir.
You'd be dead in hours.
So what what
What is money gonna do for that, huh?

Fear of God
is the best chance you got.
God saves!
- Yes, sir.
money just gets you stuff.
Don't give him that money, Eli.
I'm telling you.
The children are in danger.
Are you ready to tithe, Eli?
Oh, by the way, your
kids are spoiled rotten
and they're horrible preachers.
You should've raised 'em better.
I mean, what were you
busy doing, big boy?
You're all talk, Peter.
You know, you were once a sweet man.
A decent man.
I know somewhere deep down inside,
that decent man still exists.

I ain't paying you, Peter.
You know what you're doing is wrong.
And I know you're gonna
do the right thing.
Remember who you are, Peter.

[SNARLS] Fuck!

God damn it!
You little motherfucker!

So he ain't gonna pay?
Not even for his own kids?
No, Marshall.
That's what he said.
So make him pay, then.
Them hostages?
I say we kill one of 'em.

Kill 'em?
Show 'em that we ain't messing around.
If he wants to see them other two again,
he better open up that wallet.
Dakota got a point.
We done come this far.
If you ain't got the stomach for it
hell, I'll do it, Peter.
I don't mind killin'.
It ain't nothin' but a thing.

Dang it. I can't do
it. It won't come out.
Just shit and stop making
such a big fucking
deal about it, Kelvin.
Do your dumps, boy!
[NORMALLY] I will, but jeez.
Like, shut up a little
bit and quit throwing corn.
Let me focus. [CORN CLATTERING]
Oh, Jesse. [CHUCKLES]
What's up with your face, dude?
[SCOFFS] Nothing.
Your sideburns are, like,
shittin' down your cheeks, man.
They crying, dog.
No, they're not.
It's just my sweat
intermingling with the grit in the air.
Nah, son.
That ain't grit.
That's your dye job in your sideburns
and the sweat is making
it run down your cheeks!
- No, it's not! Fuck off!
I told you it's my sweat glands!
- It's dye, dude!
- Ah!
Did Daddy pay?
No, he did not.
He ain't gonna pay?
He's refusing.
He thinks that I don't
have it in me to hurt you.
Yeah, thinks he can,
uh He can reach me.
But he's wrong.
Now, I'm gon' kill one of
y'all after service today.
How's it feel?
Daddy loves money more than
he loves his own family.
Hell, he's a worse father than me.
[LAUGHS] Right?
[SNAPS] Come on.

Free us, and I'll get you the money.
- Yeah.
- I can.
We run the church now.
You don't run nothing
but your mouth, Jesse.
Uncle Peter.
Uncle Peter!

- Gross, Kelvin.
- Oh, my God.
Let's pray.
Dear Heavenly Father,
please watch over
Jesse, Judy, and Kelvin
and bring them back safely to us.
Please also bring swift justice
to those who have
endangered our loved ones.
Smite them, Lord. Hurt them.
And also help them to find
the light in their hearts
to return them to us unharmed.
And please forgive me for thinking that
Judy was catting around, when really,
she was just abducted.
Please, Dear Lord
help Kelvin to find some
sanitary wipes with aloe.
He chafes real bad,
and a burnt rectal from cheap TP
could make him very despondent.
And if You don't bring him back,
I just pray, dear Lord,
that you give us the strength
to do the things that we was
gonna do when they was alive,
like "Bible Bonkers."

These things we ask in Your name.
ALL: Amen.

Okay, you no, you stay put.
I'll be there as soon as I can.
I know, but
All right.


I bet no one's gonna miss me.
I mean, Daddy will, I guess, but
besides that, probably not anyone.
Well, I mean, your one fucking guy
with the dead eyes and the perm.
He'll miss ya.
- Yeah.
- Doubt it.
After the type of friend
I've been to him
Should've had his back, but

Now I may never have the chance.
I don't want to die. [SIGHS]
Things are still really
bad with BJ, and I
That can't be the last
time we saw each other.
I said some pretty fucked
up stuff to Amber too.
Stuff I didn't mean.
I was a dick.
I'm also the only one
who has a real family.
I don't want my kids
to be one of those
kids that loses a parent
like somebody in a fucking Disney movie.
I don't want my sons to be Bambis.
I never want to be treated
any differently than you guys
just 'cause I'm a lady.
But except in this situation,
because if somebody was to come in here
and just kill the one girl,
that would be deeply fucked up.
I mean, not that fucked up,
considering that Uncle
Peter's a psychopath.
He ain't following any sort
of rules about ladies and mens.
I mean, he might try to kill you
'cause he thinks you'll be the easiest.
No, it's obvious.
Sorry, Kelvin, but you
would be the easiest to kill.
It's, like, clear.
Uncle Peter would just,
like, roll up in here,
shoot you right in your ace.
No, he wouldn't.
You know, I kinda can see that.
That you would just shut down mentally
'cause you're so terrified
and you would just silently
roll over and, I don't know,
tearful pull down to the jeans.

Obviously, he would kill Jesse first.
You know what? I get that.
Kill the biggest one
'cause he's tough to handle.
Y'all really think that?

I've wanted people to see
me that way my entire life.

Thank you for seeing me that way.

I know I get on y'all's nerves,
always riding you and shit.
It's just because I
feel like somebody needs
to make sure everything's
gonna turn out okay.
You do get on our nerves, Jesse, but
if you get killed by Uncle Peter,
I promise we will try to avenge you.
Y'all would do that for me?
- Yes.
- Absolutely.
Take care of my wife and kids?
- Say what?
- What's that?
Make sure that my wife
and kids have a good life,
- watch after 'em?
- Yeah, I feel like your kids
are old enough to take
care of themselves.
I mean, it's a big ask.
[CHUCKLES] You know what I mean?
We don't know what our
schedules are gonna be.
All right, well, assuming
your schedules were free,
would you help raise
my children in my honor?

- Yes.
- Yes.
- Assuming we're
- Our schedules are clear.
And there's nothing else pressing.
I love you two.

I love you two.
I also love you guys.


We as Christian men
will constantly be tested by evil,
which is why we must remember God's word
in times of adversity
and do whatever's necessary
to deliver His message.
Let us close with a song.
All the gold ♪
In California ♪
Is in a bank in the
middle of Beverly Hills ♪
In somebody else's name ♪
ALL: So if you're dreaming ♪
About California ♪
It don't matter at all
where you've played before ♪
California's a brand-new game ♪
- Yeah!
ALL: Tryin' to be a hero ♪
Winding up a zero ♪
Can scar a man forever ♪
Right down to your soul ♪
Living on the spotlight ♪
Can kill a man outright ♪
'Cause everything that glitters ♪
Is not gold ♪
All the gold ♪
In California ♪
Is in a bank in the
middle of Beverly Hills ♪
In somebody else's name ♪
So if you're dreaming ♪
About California ♪
It don't matter at all
where you've played before ♪
California's a brand-new game ♪
Brand-new game ♪
A brand-new game ♪
Oh, fuck.
I'm just gonna go into beast mode
and start biting faces and dicks.
If I die, please don't
remember me that way.
- Oh, God.
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, this is happening.
- Here we go.

I called Mama.
Move your asses.
I came all this way to
bust you out of here.
Let's go!

I can't believe y'all are saving us.
Where's Chuck? He
didn't try to stop you?
I'm sure that little dick
would love to see us murdered.
He wouldn't want to
see you get murdered.
I mean, he might not mind you dead,
but he wouldn't want to see it happen.
He's got him a weak stomach.
Y'all leavin' before you say goodbye?
- Oh, fuck me.
- Oh, we're dead.
Did you call your mama
and tattletale on us?
- How could you, Karl?
The Gemstones deserve what they get.
I know how.
Your brother there, he's a big dope.
Just like his mama.
I'm taking 'em out of here.
You try stopping me,
I'll put another hole in your face.
We can't kill 'em, Papa. They're kin.
[SCOFFS] Have you not learned yet?
Kin don't mean nothing.
You think these
Gemstones care about you?
Family'll turn on you on a dime.
You gotta treat 'em like
you treat anybody else.
We're leavin'.
- Hey!
Karl, Jesse, Judy, Kelvin,
you keep moving.
He ain't gonna do nothing.
Chuck, come with us.
Is this the kind of
man you want to follow?
Don't do this, Mama.
I will shoot you.
Chuck, please come.

Fine. Stay.
May-May. Hey, you stop!

Shoot her! Do it!
What? Shoot Mama?
Yes, before she gets
away! Come on! Do it!
Shoot her! Do it!


How the hell does he know
how to drive that thing?
'Cause he's my fucking son.
Let's see how fast you
motherfuckers can run.
Come on. We gotta go, y'all.
- Come on!
- Jesus!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Fucking Montgomerys!

Come on, May-May!
Okay, come on! Come here!
Fuck. Oh, fuck, oh, fuck.



- Whoa!
- Hey!
Who's in there?

[LAUGHING] Holy shit!
Get out! Get outta here!

- Nah, bitch!
- Okay. All right.
God damn it!

Come on! Go, go, go, go!

- Go!
- Go, go, go, go, go, go!
- Go, damn it, go!
- Fuck!
- Go, go!
- Oh, no!

Shoot him!
Oh, shit!
- We're gonna make it!
- Okay, okay, okay, okay!
Oh, fuck!
Oh, God.
Oh, shit.
Don't you fucking move!
Oh, I want to go back
to the fucking silo.
- Oh, shit.
- Nowhere to go!
- Whoo!
- Get the fuck out of the car.
- Come on.
- We got 'em.
What's that?
Whoo-whee, sucker!

Fuck yeah!


Jesus loves all ♪
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