The Rockford Files (1974) s02e02 Episode Script
The Farnsworth Stratagem
Wait till you see this place, Jimbo.
You're not gonna believe it.
Well, what's a hotel without rooms? What did I buy? Well, maybe you can persuade him.
I don't want them to lose any more money than they already have.
It's legal, if that's what you mean.
It's still a fraud.
The $7500 was a down payment.
We got a $700,000 trust deed we gotta pay off.
Well, think of it as accident insurance.
Jimbo, we need you, man.
There are any number of things that could happen to you.
That sounds more like a threat.
This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
Rockford, this is Tony.
Now, your car's ready.
I couldn't reach you, so I went ahead and put in the new pistons.
The tab's $527.
54.
And this time we're talking cash.
You're not gonna believe it, Jimbo.
This place is really something else.
Dennis, I think that we should have made reservations.
We own the place, honey.
And besides, hotels have this policy, always to hold back a couple of rooms just in case.
For VIPs.
That's us? That's us.
This is it? What did I tell you? I know what you told me.
I thought you were exaggerating.
Give me the key.
You think this is something, wait till you see the inside.
All right.
The gag worked.
Let's go to the right hotel.
I'd like to play a little golf.
This is the hotel.
Dennis, you're an investigator, second grade.
Civil service.
Your salary is not exactly a secret.
This place costs millions.
Which is how come I only got 2.
5%.
Okay, 2.
5% with an But in 20 years, it's free and clear.
Here you are, son.
There's some clubs in the back seat.
Dennis, you saw this place before you bought it? Yeah, of course I saw it.
We came down with some of the others in the syndication.
It's really a partnership, but they call it a syndication.
Yeah, I know what they call it.
We'll take a steam before dinner.
They got a gym you could put our whole house inside.
Afternoon.
Stuart? I'm Dennis Becker.
Bradley Investments Limited.
Oh, yes, of course.
What can I do for you, Mr.
Becker? Well, we're down for the weekend, we need a couple of rooms.
I I think I better get the manager.
Gee, it's a It's a nice carpet, isn't it? Nice color? Yeah.
Good quality.
Mr Becker.
Dennis Becker.
Bradley Investments Limited.
Becker.
Oh, yes, yes.
Here you are right up at the top of the list.
There.
The names are arranged alphabetically.
We'll need a couple of rooms.
Mr.
Lloyd did explain the terms of the sale? Yeah, he explained.
Now can we have a couple of rooms? Well, there's really nothing I can do.
Of course, the owners not in residence do have the right to sublet, but What owners? I'm an owner.
Oh, yes, of course.
You own the hotel.
With the exception of the individual units.
You're not making any sense.
Dennis, I think what he's saying is they're condominiums.
Uh-huh.
Condominiums? You mean Lloyd sold the rooms? That's right.
We don't rent rooms.
All the tenants here own their own rooms.
Well, what's a hotel without rooms? What did I buy? The lobby.
$7500 for a lousy hotel lobby.
Dennis, how did you ever get sucked into a scam like that? I didn't get sucked in.
I fought my way in.
They were subscribed.
They didn't need my money.
They didn't even want my money.
Oh, yeah.
And suddenly somebody dropped out, there's 2.
5% opened up, and they roped their mark.
It's classic, you know.
Well, you never met this guy Simon Lloyd.
He could talk the stripes off a zebra.
Real pro job.
I wanted in so bad my teeth hurt.
Well, the way I figure it, our share is $1250 a month.
Dennis doesn't even clear that much.
Your share of what? Well, the $7500 was a down payment.
We got a $700,000 trust deed we gotta pay off.
$700,000? Yeah, we were counting on the income from the rooms to pay off the deed and give us a profit.
It was a long-term investment.
Boy, we're really in a bucket now.
Dennis, take it to the city attorney.
If word ever gets back to the precinct that I bought this con, do you know what happens to my life? You get razzed.
Razzed is a lot better than bankrupt.
I'm gonna hire you.
With what? You're tapped, remember? Well, we can make a loan at the Credit Union.
Come on, Dennis.
I'm not a lawyer.
What can I do? Well, you could find Lloyd, help me get my money back.
Jimbo, we need you, man.
In a minute.
In a minute.
All right, come in.
The door's unlocked.
Mr.
Rockford? Hello.
I'm Audrey Wyatt.
I'm a member of the Bradley syndication with Dennis Becker.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I talked to Dennis and Peggy last night.
I can't believe it.
The whole thing's a fraud.
Oh, well, how much did you invest? $15,000.
Whew.
What is that? Oh! Oh If you ever change banks, don't accept a toaster.
This is my fourth one.
Please, come sit down.
Want some coffee? Yes, please.
Black.
Say, tell me, how many people are there in the syndication? Thirty.
Thirty? And who brought you in? Well, I heard about it from Craig Hubner.
He was my dinner partner at a party a few weeks ago.
Oh, I've got to call him.
He's in for a bundle.
Why do you want to know who told me about it? Well, in a con there's always more than one grifter involved.
Now, Simon Lloyd was the operator, but somebody put up the marks.
Found the victim.
And somebody roped them.
A roper steers the marks to the inside man.
They tell him the tale, show him the game, take off the touch, and blow him off.
Well, I I understood about a third of what you said.
But if you think Craig is anything but another victim, forget it.
I mean he's Pasadena blue book, everything but DeBrett's Peerage.
Dennis told me he hired you to find out if there's anything that can be done.
Well, it can't.
What makes you so sure? I spent the entire morning on the phone with my attorney in New York.
I read the contract to him word for word.
He says it's ironclad.
Why tell me? Dennis says you're a good friend.
I tried to explain to him, but he's stubborn.
Maybe you could persuade him.
I just don't want them to lose any more than they already have.
Yeah, well, neither do I, but I promised Dennis I'd poke around a little.
It can't hurt.
I suppose not.
Well, if you are going to investigate, I'd like to be a part of it, split the cost.
Why? Dennis is willing to pay the freight.
Well, say you find Simon Lloyd, recover part of the money, not all of it.
If Dennis and I split your fee, then we'll split the recovery.
Not altogether altruistic.
Not altogether.
Deal? If it's okay with Dennis.
Right in there.
Jim, be with you in a minute.
Go in and get a cup of coffee or something.
Hi, Audrey.
Hi.
What's the matter, Dennis? Listen, we gotta talk to you.
I'll be with you in one minute.
Have a seat.
You want coffee? Yes, please.
You known the Beckers long? Oh, not long.
I've been taking a course at UCLA Extension.
Intermediate Spanish.
Peggy's in my class and we started having coffee together.
Got to know each other.
I'm planning on taking a trip to South America.
Argentina, Brazil Oh, yeah? They speak Portuguese in Brazil.
You know, I feel badly for the Beckers.
They can't afford to lose that amount of money.
Well, can you? Yes.
I don't suppose you read many childrers books.
Well, not in the past 30 years, no.
Well, I've only been writing them for three.
I'm Uncle Ralph.
The real Uncle Ralph's dead.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Well, he died very old and very rich.
And when I sent the publishers Billy and the Runaway Balloon, they liked it.
Only they thought that Uncle Ralph would have a better chance of selling books than Audrey Wyatt.
They were right.
Thanks for coming by, but maybe it's not such a good idea, you know? No, I don't know.
Did you send the contract over to Beth? Yeah.
First thing this morning.
Audrey took me over to Lloyd's house.
He's gone.
The real-estate agent said it was just a rental deal.
And he thinks Lloyd's traveling.
I'll bet he is.
We also went by his office.
No one there and no forwarding address.
Okay, that's fine.
Give me a call at the house later, okay? What's the matter with you, Dennis? Diehl's in the next office.
Keep it down.
Well, what's Diehl got to do with this? Nothing.
Nothing.
Technically, he's got nothing to do with it.
Mrs.
Diehl, however, is in the syndication pretty deep.
Oh, that's great.
That's great.
Just something you forgot to tell me, huh? Why should you know? He doesn't.
It was gonna be a surprise.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it will be.
Come on, Audrey.
Let's go.
It's been nice talking to you, Dennis.
What are you doing? Dennis, when Lieutenant Diehl is in, I am out.
That's automatic.
Okay, Diehl hates your guts.
But you're gonna be doing him a favor.
And the only reason why I asked you, it's such a slick con and you're the only guy I know who can go Lloyd one better.
Like that pearl switch, remember? Like that tape recorder in the safe so you could get the combination.
Just knock it off, huh, Dennis? That's not bull.
I mean it.
Diehl could learn to love you.
Becker! Diehl says book him or get him out of here.
You charged for a whole day.
Well, I don't have an hourly rate.
Oh.
I've been thinking about what Dennis said.
A pearl switch, recording the combination to a safe Isn't that kind of illegal? Yo, it's borderline.
Yeah.
Mr.
Rockford? Yeah.
William MacKenzie, Western National Savings and Loan.
Come in.
This is the part of banking I really hate.
Mr.
Rockford, your note has been called.
Well, that's impossible.
I haven't missed any payments.
Banking is a rather conservative business.
You, on the other hand, lead a rather flamboyant lifestyle.
Well, my line of work hasn't changed since I applied for that loan.
No, but your cases have.
The bank officers feel that you're currently involved in one which might prove particularly hazardous.
And the bank would like me to drop it.
Could you have your belongings out by the 14th? We'll be selling the trailer at auction in Newhall on the 15th.
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I still have a right to pay off what I owe.
You'll get your money.
I doubt that, Mr.
Rockford.
I've seen your financial statement.
Foreclosure is as painful for the bank as it is for its customer.
Yeah.
Simon Lloyd has some very heavy connections.
It keeps getting worse.
I told you we should have dropped it.
I just don't like being strong-armed.
Sorry I couldn't make this weekend.
So am I.
Beth Davenport, Audrey Wyatt.
Oh.
Audrey's one of the partners in Bradley Investments.
Did you get a chance to look at the contract? Hmm.
I'd like to meet the attorney who drew it up.
It's a beauty.
Why didn't Dennis call me before he signed it? He had Gil look at it.
Gil's a first-year law student.
Yeah.
Is there anything we can do about the contract? It's legal, if that's what you mean.
Let me have a look at that.
There's got to be a loophole in here.
I never saw a contract that didn't have a loophole.
Jim, if there isn't anything else Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What about the mineral rights? What about them? Are they excluded? Not specifically.
Then the syndicate bought the mineral rights along with the lobby? Right.
I want you to draw up a power of attorney, authorizing me to act on behalf of Dennis and Audrey's syndicate.
And an assignment of rights, transferring those rights from the syndicate to me.
We'll have to contact all 30 people.
That's gonna take a little doing.
What are we sitting here for? Power of attorney, mineral rights, and there's $5000 in here.
Oh, well, that ought to do.
If not, I can always give you a call.
No, you can't give me a call.
You know how hard it was for me to talk the syndication into coming up with that much? They figure Lloyd is long gone.
We're never gonna see him again.
Oh, yes, you will.
And how come we gotta pay for her, too? No offense, Audrey.
Some of the money's mine, Dennis.
Besides, I'm part of the act.
You mind telling me what you're gonna do? Check that.
I don't want to know.
Just tell me that it's gonna work.
Hey, I can't make any promises.
What do you want me to do? Lie to you? Of course I want you to lie to me.
Mrs.
Diehl is getting very nervous.
She's this close into telling the Lieutenant how I got her into this thing.
Will you stop worrying about Diehl? You know, I got a little riding on this myself.
If I don't get the money back, I don't get my percentage, and some yahoo in Newhall is gonna be making himself right at home in my trailer! So here.
Would you like to review the geologists' reports again? Thank you.
Morning, Mr.
Farnswon'th, sir.
Hey, where do you want to set this thing up, Jimmy? J.
W.
Mr.
Farnswon'th, sir.
Now, we're gonna set up right Right here.
I want you over there.
And you boys better get started.
Getting a late start.
Now get moving.
Yes, sir.
Hey.
What are you doing? I mean, what's going on here? Mr.
Farnswon'th, I was assured by the syndication that they would inform management.
Oh, well, they should have told you.
And I blame myself for not handling it personally.
Look, just tell me what's going on.
Well, just what you see.
I'm from Oklahoma.
That's oil country.
Yeah, I got to tell you, we took some sand samples here.
They're some of the best I've ever seen.
You mean you're digging for oil here? In the front yard? Start right here.
What's your name? Farnswon'th.
J.
W.
Think I've seen you somewhere before.
Well, I was down here a while back with Mr.
Becker.
He's one of the partners in Bradley Investments.
You know, they used to own the mineral rights before I bought them off of them.
Excuse me, sir, you're running 10 minutes late and the senator has to be back in Sacramento.
All right.
Thank you, thank you.
You can't do this.
I live here and I'm telling you, you can't do this.
Yeah.
Angel! Angel! Angel! You're tearing up the driveway.
We can't get in or get out.
Oh, well, now, I'm sorry.
He shouldn't be drilling right there in the middle of the driveway.
You move that thing over there, will you? He's just drilling for samples.
It'll be fine over there.
Not with me.
Now, look, I understand, I understand.
If I was in your boots, I'd be biting nails.
And you got a right to be sore.
But I'm telling you, you're just flat talking to the wrong man.
Get me Lloyd.
I think he's out of the country, Mr.
Christian.
Find him.
I want him back here.
Let me speak to Sergeant Becker, please.
I'll hold.
You got the address right? Casa Boni Casa Bonita? What kind of address is that? Why not a number? With a house like this, they don't use a number.
You're staying in a whole house? What's wrong with the Y? It doesn't cost enough.
Dennis, if Lloyd starts checking me out, he's gotta smell big money.
You're gonna have to send me a couple more thousand.
Two gra Two grand? Yeah.
You'd better make it three.
No.
No more.
Then I can't pull it off, Dennis.
It's costing more than I figured.
The house, the equipment, the salaries.
No, I don't want to hear it.
Okay? I don't want to hear it! Send the money, Dennis.
If you don't, we've blown five grand for nothing.
There's somebody at the door.
I'll hang on.
No, it's okay.
The butler will get it.
The butler? Yeah.
He's gotta live, too.
I watched you today.
Listened to you being Mr.
J.
W.
Farnswon'th, oil tycoon.
You're absolutely marvelous.
You showed a certain flair yourself.
Angel and the Rock are here, Jim.
Terry, that's "Mr.
Martin and Mr.
Rockford are here, sir.
" Would you try to keep in practice? You should have been there, Jimmy.
You missed this.
You never saw nothing like it.
What did we have? About 100 people all standing around, all day watching, jackhammer going like hell.
Nobody tried to interfere? No, no.
They didn't even believe that it was happening.
You know what occurred to me? I mean, when you get a crowd like that, doesn't seem right not to work them.
Angel No, no.
Now, I mean, you were right about the oil rig.
That's the thing.
But the thing that really gets them excited, you know, is that jackhammer and that compressor, that noise and that racket.
Boy, it's the roar of the crowd.
And then I got to thinking, you know, you said I ought to have earplugs.
I went down to the drugstore and I talked to the druggist.
Made a deal for earplugs.
28 cents a pair.
Go back and sell them for $1.
75.
$1.
50.
Easy.
Forget it.
Jimmy, don't spit on it, man.
If we don't do it, somebody else will.
Think about it.
Just look, Rocky could be the salesman, huh? He's got that good, honest face.
That smile everybody likes.
We get him a tray, hang it around his neck.
Angel, if you try working a scam on the side, you go straight back to LA.
A persors got a right to his own suggestions, don't he? No.
How did you do on the rig? Ask your friend there.
We did pretty good, considering.
Considering what? Well, considering the fact that him and me were supposed to round up a crew that halfway looked like they knew their way around an oil rig, right? Right.
Well, you saw what they looked like.
You know that tall, skinny kid? The first one? He's a fry cook.
The next fellow was an artichoke grower.
The third, nobody knows.
He couldn't talk English.
And the three fellows I hired, they got so disgusted, I had to give them a raise.
You may have to hit Dennis for more than $3000.
Oh, hey, no kidding, Jimmy, things wasrt so bad.
Well, so bad won't cut it, Angel.
Now, look, we got a time problem.
Well, I've got a time problem.
My trailer goes on the sales block on the 15th of this month.
Now, if you need more men, you hire them.
And I want to see you on that jackhammer.
And, Dad, I want to see an oil derrick on that front lawn.
Got six more bottles of sand samples, Mr.
Farnswon'th.
Okay, great.
Cap them off, send them out airmail to the lab in Tulsa.
It's looking pretty good, huh? Yeah.
I think we got us a heap of water sitting on top of a real big natural gas reserve.
How about that? Mr.
Danzi.
Mr.
Guardell.
Howdy.
How are you folks today? What can old J.
W.
Do for you today? We represent the owners of the condominiums at the Bradley Hotel.
We don't like what's happening.
Well, of course you don't.
'Course you don't.
I come along, mess up your pretty lawn, mess up your driveway, fixing to mess up your golf course.
But that's business, that's progress.
And don't you worry about that noise.
It's only gonna last for a couple of weeks.
That field I brought in last year, that's a whole different story.
Reservoir rock was sandstone.
I had to blast.
We're here to tell you in a very nice way, to get that oil derrick and that jackhammer out of there.
Well, I'm sure there's no offense intended, and none taken.
None taken.
But the jackhammer can't go till we get through the cement, and the derrick, that's a whole different story, but you just tell your folks the minute we strike, that derrick comes down automatic, and we put in cricket pumps.
Mr.
Farnswon'th, the people who bought in at the Bradley were looking for clean air, a good view, a nice, quiet life.
So you see, we can't allow you to foul the atmosphere.
Me? Why, there's every safeguard known to scientific man built into our rigs.
Now, you just rest easy.
There ain't gonna be no oil spills, nothing like that.
There isn't gonna be any oil.
My geologists say different.
And I got contracts, I got buyers waiting.
Then I'm afraid they're gonna have to wait for some other time.
Some other field.
That sounds something like an order.
A suggestion, Mr.
Farnswon'th.
A very strong suggestion.
You see, we're not only concerned for the tenants, but for you and your employees.
There are any number of things that could happen to you, to the rig Now, that That sounds more like a threat.
Oh, I was speaking of accidents.
Working around all that machinery, that could be a chancy proposition.
Give a little thought to what I've said, Mr.
Farnswon'th.
Well, think of it as accident insurance.
Sergeant Becker.
Hey, Dennis, who lives at the Bradley Hotel? What? I just had a visit from the tenants committee.
Can you get me the names of the owners of the condominiums? Yeah, I think so.
It might take a couple of days.
All right.
You get them and run them through the computer.
I just got one of those funny feelings.
Like what? Well, like the answer's gonna be something I don't want to hear.
We're out of number Want to use German cable to tie off the rig? Ain't none of that drilling cable that goes anywhere but right down that hole.
Is it finished? Yeah, it's finished.
Oh! Oh! We deserve a celebration.
Yeah.
Dinner out or in? In.
What's in the bag? Oh, that's for the celebration.
I drove into town today.
Oh, Jim.
Oh, oh, you know, there was only five or six copies left.
The clerk said it's a bestseller.
Want my autograph? Oh, that isn't necessary.
No, I want to.
It's already signed.
Well, it must be a promotional copy.
Uncle Ralph's granddaughter lives here.
He visited her a few weeks ago, and they made a round of all the bookstores at the same time.
He's an amazing man for his age, according to the clerk.
Didrt you think I'd find out? Well, you wouldn't have if you werert such a sentimentalist.
Want an explanation? I want the truth.
All right, I'm not Uncle Ralph, but I wrote the book.
The only thing that Uncle Ralph has written in the past three years, is on the back of his royalty checks.
I work at the publishing house as a proofreader.
I wrote it on my own time, I submitted it and they liked it.
They needed an Uncle Ralph story, so we made a deal.
I don't get any of the credit, but I get most of the money, and Uncle Ralph gets 10% for the use of his name.
What's the first line? The first line in the book.
If you wrote it, you should remember it.
Of course I wrote it.
Don't you believe me? No.
Give me the line.
Billy's best friend was a big balloon.
Not even close.
You're right.
That was the first draft.
Let me see, what did I change it to? Well, I wrote it over a year ago.
Who are you? I already told you.
I'm very disappointed in you, Audrey.
Your story doesn't wash.
Don't you have a backup ready? Why bother? You seem determined to discount everything I say.
You know, driving back from the bookstore I did a lot of thinking.
I was trying to figure out why you lied to me.
A very elaborate lie, very convincing.
Only one thing made sense.
You were part of the con.
I lost $15,000.
You never lost a dime.
Lloyd was the operator and you were the roper.
After the two of you made your score, Lloyd cleared out and left you here to cool off the marks.
You know, ever since I met you, you've been trying to blow me off this case.
"Ironclad contracts, take the loss gracefully.
" That's not only insulting, it's absurd.
Oh, knock it off, Audrey.
I have no intention of letting Dennis get stiffed by a couple of high-class grifters.
Not to mention, I'm not gonna lose my trailer.
You're the one who sicced the bank on me in the first place.
Where's Lloyd? Audrey, we can have this conversation, or you can have it with the cops.
Now, where is he? In Brazil, where they speak Portuguese.
Can you reach him? Okay, I want you to send him a cable.
Why don't I phone him? It's quicker.
Because I want to have control over what you say.
When I started I was trying to cool a mark.
But then you came up with this incredible scam.
It's beautiful.
When I tell Lloyd that J.
W.
Farnswon'th is about to strike oil, we'll sell him that hotel for three times the money.
We? Well, naturally I expect a small profit.
You couldn't do it without me.
You'd sell him out just like that? I only met him last year.
He was working a bad variation of the old pigeon drop scam.
I cleaned it up.
I mean, we hardly knew each other.
You might be on the level, but only because there's a lot of bread in it.
But from hereon, we keep our relationship professional.
Wort be as much fun.
Hey, Mr.
Farnswon'th.
Lookie here, it's looking even better than you expected.
Yeah.
We ought to be bringing her in any minute.
It's Lloyd.
All right, Angel, get back on your jackhammer.
Rocky, you look busy.
You sure he thinks I'm Farnswon'th? He doesn't know Jim Rockford.
I told him the bank number cooled you off.
What did I tell you? I ought to Will you shut that thing off? Knock it off! You picked a great time to leave town.
I got back as soon as I heard.
Now, how long has this thing been going on? Too long.
Every morning, 6:00 they start.
I had to move.
You sell me an apartment in this place so I can have peace and quiet, and I had to move! All right, all right.
I'll take care of everything.
I'll have you back in there in no time at all.
You tell him, not me.
Farnswon'th? Yeah.
What can I do for you? I know of you by reputation, Mr.
Farnswon'th.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
My name is Simon Lloyd.
Lloyd.
Lloyd.
Oh, yeah, you're the one who sold this place off.
Yeah.
Not too popular around here at the moment.
Yeah, well, I know the feeling.
Should I have the geologists' reports duplicated for Mr.
Kline and the board members? Yeah, honey, you do that.
Board members.
They don't know beans about oil.
They need scientific proof.
Now, you take my daddy, he was a cable driller.
He could tell by the feel of that cable what they was into.
He didn't need no samples, no tests.
He could tell by the feel.
And you inerited your father's talent? No, I'll never be the oil man my daddy was.
I'm working on it, though.
I'm coming close.
Nice talking to you.
Mr.
Farnswon'th, I've got a bit of a problem.
Majority of the people who bought apartments at the Bradley are personal friends of mine.
Fine people, all of them.
And, well, quite frankly, they're extremely upset to discover that suddenly they're living in the middle of an oil field.
I can understand that, yeah.
Well, I can understand your position.
Now, you bought the mineral rights to this property in good faith, you're convinced that there's oil on it, and you mean to dig for it.
Yeah, that's about it.
Well, what I'd like to propose is a compromise.
Now, I own the 15 acres directly adjoining this property.
You could slant drill.
Oh, well, the field may not be big enough to slant drill.
Oh, I'm sure that it is, and I'll absorb any expenses involved.
Pay for dismantling the rig, pay for its reconstruction at the new site.
Well, now, I hope you won't take this wrong, but all that generosity makes me downright suspicious.
I know what I got here.
I I'm not interested in a pig in a poke.
All right, all right.
I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you.
Now, the tenants are exerting a great deal of pressure on me.
Otherwise, I wouldn't suggest what I'm about to.
I own 50% of a production field in Texas.
I'll turn it over to you.
Now, you take no chances whatsoever.
They're pumping.
Well, I'm not a hard man.
I know you got problems.
I got them, too.
But if I stopped drilling, I'm in breach of contract.
Now, one of two things is gonna happen, either we strike oil, we get black gold pouring down on us, or we strike water, which means we got natural gas.
Either way, it's money in the bank.
I just got no choice.
Well, I can sure understand how Dennis got sucked in.
He has a class act.
You and I have a better one.
You show remarkable restraint.
I keep waiting for the inevitable, "What's a nice girl like you " Well, the details are probably too painful to go into.
Broken home, unappy childhood.
You don't believe me.
No.
Slow down.
Angel.
Hey, Angel.
What are you doing? I've been invited to take a hike.
I'm hiking.
Get in.
Come on.
Get in.
Look, you've done it to me before and you're not doing it this time.
I worked that machine for you, which I think it has done something permanent to my insides.
Plus, I ain't hearing too good.
But I hear good enough to know if I go back there, I end up in a rubber bag.
Come on, who'd threaten you? What, I ain't good enough to be threatened? I was threatened! Concrete boots, that's what he said.
Who? I don't know who and I don't want to know who.
I'm not going back.
Boy, Detective Becker's sure gonna be disappointed.
I just don't know what he's gonna say about this.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
All right, all right.
I'm coming with you.
Hi, Dennis.
Dennis, the butler said you were waiting.
Yeah.
Quite a place you got here.
You're really roughing it.
Yeah, it's gonna pay off.
What's the matter, Dennis? What are you doing here? Hi, Audrey.
What's Angel Martin doing here? You bring some of the ex-con friends in on this? He was gonna talk to my parole officer, put in a good word.
He doesn't even know I'm here! Well, now he does.
Come here a second.
You know the names that you asked me to run through the computer, who bought the apartments? Yeah.
Paul Barrone, South Chicago.
Louis Christian, out of Detroit.
Herman Keitell, Brooklyn.
Sammy La Presa, Jersey.
Hey, wait.
Wait a minute.
Keitell? Isn't he Yeah, they all are.
Lieutenant Diehl's wife and me, we're running a country club for the mob.
You mean that everybody in the Bradley is part of organized crime? Not everybody.
Just enough to have me busted back to patrolman.
Seven of the apartments for sure, two of the others You know, that's really great.
I've been waking them up every morning with a jackhammer.
They're all punks! And they all should be doing hard time.
Yeah, well, you work on your Medal of Honor.
I'll work on staying alive.
Oh! Farnswon'th.
Yeah? I'd like to talk to you.
Some other time.
Now! I've seen the geologists' reports and I've seen the sand samples.
Money has a way of bringing out the worst in me.
I want to buy you out.
Well, I don't want to sell.
I'm prepared to be generous.
I don't want to sell! Well, when Audrey brought me those reports last night, she also brought me copies of your contracts.
They indicate that you expect this field to pay off big.
Those contracts are as phony as the geologists' reports.
I considered that possibility, so I had my own tests run on the sand samples this morning.
The reports are accurate.
And they favor hitting natural gas.
I'm having papers drawn up for transfer of ownership.
There's no way you can force me to sell.
On the contrary, any number of ways that I can force you to sell.
Well, one of my associates, for example, Mr.
Christian.
You see, Mr.
Christian is a member of organized crime.
He can be very persuasive.
You're not gonna bring him in on it.
He's in.
And I'm in.
And you're out.
I'll see if the contracts are ready.
Audrey, where's Christian? At the rig.
Well, how soon do we hit? We're not gonna hit oil or anything else.
Lloyd showed me the reports.
They're phony.
I've been running a scam.
I'm not Farnswon'th from Oklahoma, I'm Rockford from Los Angeles.
There's not any oil here and there never will be.
We're paying a very big price.
Believe me, there is not any oil here.
Now, I leveled with Lloyd.
If he brings you into this thing, you're gonna get stung, and I don't want any part of that.
If there's no oil, how come you put up this rig? Because I wanted people to think there was.
I'm telling you the truth, Mr.
Christian.
You're not a man I'd lie to.
I'm not a guy Lloyd would lie to, either.
He made a mistake with me once.
He's not dumb enough to do it again.
So, like the man told you, sell.
You don't give me much choice.
I give you no choice.
It's against my will.
Sure.
Now, you just remember that Lloyd brought you into this thing, not me.
Remember that.
Sure.
Sure.
Sure.
Wait a minute.
Hold it.
Hold it.
We hit oil.
Yahoo! We hit oil! We did it! Oil! Oil! Oil! Oil! Oil! Oil! Gas.
Gas.
Gas! Gas! What did we hit? Just what we were aiming at.
The water main.
We picked a hot enough day for it.
Watch out, here comes the chef.
Hey.
Ah! Oh, looks good.
Good.
It's gonna be great for me.
What are the rest of you gonna eat? I don't know how you did it, Jimbo.
Lloyd thought you hit a natural gas well.
Why'd he think that? Oh, I may have suggested it.
And the whole mess is right back in his lap where it belongs.
Somebody did a good job of selling him.
Yeah.
Somebody sure did.
Boy, at 5.
25%, do you know how long it would have taken us to double our money? Do you know how close you came to losing it? Uh-huh.
That's true.
And you should hear Lieutenant Diehl.
He thinks he's some kind of financial genius.
He didn't know he was in till he was out.
Mmm-hmm.
Did you tell him he owes me a thank you? Not exactly.
What do you mean, "Not exactly"? Well, if I was to mention you, then I'll have to tell him the whole story.
Oh, which means you wouldn't come out of it looking too good, would you, huh? You got paid, didn't you? You got your trailer back, didn't you? What else do you want? I don't think that Come on, you guys.
This is supposed to be a celebration.
Yeah, cheers.
Yeah.
Hey, what happens to Mr.
Lloyd? Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about him.
He seems like a resourceful fellow.
Hey, get me a beer, will you? Anything you want? Yeah.
Thanks for not telling them about me.
I like them.
You know, I've never really gotten to know a mark before.
Change your perspective? Mmm-hmm.
But it won't change my life.
Do you want to bet?
You're not gonna believe it.
Well, what's a hotel without rooms? What did I buy? Well, maybe you can persuade him.
I don't want them to lose any more money than they already have.
It's legal, if that's what you mean.
It's still a fraud.
The $7500 was a down payment.
We got a $700,000 trust deed we gotta pay off.
Well, think of it as accident insurance.
Jimbo, we need you, man.
There are any number of things that could happen to you.
That sounds more like a threat.
This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
Rockford, this is Tony.
Now, your car's ready.
I couldn't reach you, so I went ahead and put in the new pistons.
The tab's $527.
54.
And this time we're talking cash.
You're not gonna believe it, Jimbo.
This place is really something else.
Dennis, I think that we should have made reservations.
We own the place, honey.
And besides, hotels have this policy, always to hold back a couple of rooms just in case.
For VIPs.
That's us? That's us.
This is it? What did I tell you? I know what you told me.
I thought you were exaggerating.
Give me the key.
You think this is something, wait till you see the inside.
All right.
The gag worked.
Let's go to the right hotel.
I'd like to play a little golf.
This is the hotel.
Dennis, you're an investigator, second grade.
Civil service.
Your salary is not exactly a secret.
This place costs millions.
Which is how come I only got 2.
5%.
Okay, 2.
5% with an But in 20 years, it's free and clear.
Here you are, son.
There's some clubs in the back seat.
Dennis, you saw this place before you bought it? Yeah, of course I saw it.
We came down with some of the others in the syndication.
It's really a partnership, but they call it a syndication.
Yeah, I know what they call it.
We'll take a steam before dinner.
They got a gym you could put our whole house inside.
Afternoon.
Stuart? I'm Dennis Becker.
Bradley Investments Limited.
Oh, yes, of course.
What can I do for you, Mr.
Becker? Well, we're down for the weekend, we need a couple of rooms.
I I think I better get the manager.
Gee, it's a It's a nice carpet, isn't it? Nice color? Yeah.
Good quality.
Mr Becker.
Dennis Becker.
Bradley Investments Limited.
Becker.
Oh, yes, yes.
Here you are right up at the top of the list.
There.
The names are arranged alphabetically.
We'll need a couple of rooms.
Mr.
Lloyd did explain the terms of the sale? Yeah, he explained.
Now can we have a couple of rooms? Well, there's really nothing I can do.
Of course, the owners not in residence do have the right to sublet, but What owners? I'm an owner.
Oh, yes, of course.
You own the hotel.
With the exception of the individual units.
You're not making any sense.
Dennis, I think what he's saying is they're condominiums.
Uh-huh.
Condominiums? You mean Lloyd sold the rooms? That's right.
We don't rent rooms.
All the tenants here own their own rooms.
Well, what's a hotel without rooms? What did I buy? The lobby.
$7500 for a lousy hotel lobby.
Dennis, how did you ever get sucked into a scam like that? I didn't get sucked in.
I fought my way in.
They were subscribed.
They didn't need my money.
They didn't even want my money.
Oh, yeah.
And suddenly somebody dropped out, there's 2.
5% opened up, and they roped their mark.
It's classic, you know.
Well, you never met this guy Simon Lloyd.
He could talk the stripes off a zebra.
Real pro job.
I wanted in so bad my teeth hurt.
Well, the way I figure it, our share is $1250 a month.
Dennis doesn't even clear that much.
Your share of what? Well, the $7500 was a down payment.
We got a $700,000 trust deed we gotta pay off.
$700,000? Yeah, we were counting on the income from the rooms to pay off the deed and give us a profit.
It was a long-term investment.
Boy, we're really in a bucket now.
Dennis, take it to the city attorney.
If word ever gets back to the precinct that I bought this con, do you know what happens to my life? You get razzed.
Razzed is a lot better than bankrupt.
I'm gonna hire you.
With what? You're tapped, remember? Well, we can make a loan at the Credit Union.
Come on, Dennis.
I'm not a lawyer.
What can I do? Well, you could find Lloyd, help me get my money back.
Jimbo, we need you, man.
In a minute.
In a minute.
All right, come in.
The door's unlocked.
Mr.
Rockford? Hello.
I'm Audrey Wyatt.
I'm a member of the Bradley syndication with Dennis Becker.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I talked to Dennis and Peggy last night.
I can't believe it.
The whole thing's a fraud.
Oh, well, how much did you invest? $15,000.
Whew.
What is that? Oh! Oh If you ever change banks, don't accept a toaster.
This is my fourth one.
Please, come sit down.
Want some coffee? Yes, please.
Black.
Say, tell me, how many people are there in the syndication? Thirty.
Thirty? And who brought you in? Well, I heard about it from Craig Hubner.
He was my dinner partner at a party a few weeks ago.
Oh, I've got to call him.
He's in for a bundle.
Why do you want to know who told me about it? Well, in a con there's always more than one grifter involved.
Now, Simon Lloyd was the operator, but somebody put up the marks.
Found the victim.
And somebody roped them.
A roper steers the marks to the inside man.
They tell him the tale, show him the game, take off the touch, and blow him off.
Well, I I understood about a third of what you said.
But if you think Craig is anything but another victim, forget it.
I mean he's Pasadena blue book, everything but DeBrett's Peerage.
Dennis told me he hired you to find out if there's anything that can be done.
Well, it can't.
What makes you so sure? I spent the entire morning on the phone with my attorney in New York.
I read the contract to him word for word.
He says it's ironclad.
Why tell me? Dennis says you're a good friend.
I tried to explain to him, but he's stubborn.
Maybe you could persuade him.
I just don't want them to lose any more than they already have.
Yeah, well, neither do I, but I promised Dennis I'd poke around a little.
It can't hurt.
I suppose not.
Well, if you are going to investigate, I'd like to be a part of it, split the cost.
Why? Dennis is willing to pay the freight.
Well, say you find Simon Lloyd, recover part of the money, not all of it.
If Dennis and I split your fee, then we'll split the recovery.
Not altogether altruistic.
Not altogether.
Deal? If it's okay with Dennis.
Right in there.
Jim, be with you in a minute.
Go in and get a cup of coffee or something.
Hi, Audrey.
Hi.
What's the matter, Dennis? Listen, we gotta talk to you.
I'll be with you in one minute.
Have a seat.
You want coffee? Yes, please.
You known the Beckers long? Oh, not long.
I've been taking a course at UCLA Extension.
Intermediate Spanish.
Peggy's in my class and we started having coffee together.
Got to know each other.
I'm planning on taking a trip to South America.
Argentina, Brazil Oh, yeah? They speak Portuguese in Brazil.
You know, I feel badly for the Beckers.
They can't afford to lose that amount of money.
Well, can you? Yes.
I don't suppose you read many childrers books.
Well, not in the past 30 years, no.
Well, I've only been writing them for three.
I'm Uncle Ralph.
The real Uncle Ralph's dead.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Well, he died very old and very rich.
And when I sent the publishers Billy and the Runaway Balloon, they liked it.
Only they thought that Uncle Ralph would have a better chance of selling books than Audrey Wyatt.
They were right.
Thanks for coming by, but maybe it's not such a good idea, you know? No, I don't know.
Did you send the contract over to Beth? Yeah.
First thing this morning.
Audrey took me over to Lloyd's house.
He's gone.
The real-estate agent said it was just a rental deal.
And he thinks Lloyd's traveling.
I'll bet he is.
We also went by his office.
No one there and no forwarding address.
Okay, that's fine.
Give me a call at the house later, okay? What's the matter with you, Dennis? Diehl's in the next office.
Keep it down.
Well, what's Diehl got to do with this? Nothing.
Nothing.
Technically, he's got nothing to do with it.
Mrs.
Diehl, however, is in the syndication pretty deep.
Oh, that's great.
That's great.
Just something you forgot to tell me, huh? Why should you know? He doesn't.
It was gonna be a surprise.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it will be.
Come on, Audrey.
Let's go.
It's been nice talking to you, Dennis.
What are you doing? Dennis, when Lieutenant Diehl is in, I am out.
That's automatic.
Okay, Diehl hates your guts.
But you're gonna be doing him a favor.
And the only reason why I asked you, it's such a slick con and you're the only guy I know who can go Lloyd one better.
Like that pearl switch, remember? Like that tape recorder in the safe so you could get the combination.
Just knock it off, huh, Dennis? That's not bull.
I mean it.
Diehl could learn to love you.
Becker! Diehl says book him or get him out of here.
You charged for a whole day.
Well, I don't have an hourly rate.
Oh.
I've been thinking about what Dennis said.
A pearl switch, recording the combination to a safe Isn't that kind of illegal? Yo, it's borderline.
Yeah.
Mr.
Rockford? Yeah.
William MacKenzie, Western National Savings and Loan.
Come in.
This is the part of banking I really hate.
Mr.
Rockford, your note has been called.
Well, that's impossible.
I haven't missed any payments.
Banking is a rather conservative business.
You, on the other hand, lead a rather flamboyant lifestyle.
Well, my line of work hasn't changed since I applied for that loan.
No, but your cases have.
The bank officers feel that you're currently involved in one which might prove particularly hazardous.
And the bank would like me to drop it.
Could you have your belongings out by the 14th? We'll be selling the trailer at auction in Newhall on the 15th.
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I still have a right to pay off what I owe.
You'll get your money.
I doubt that, Mr.
Rockford.
I've seen your financial statement.
Foreclosure is as painful for the bank as it is for its customer.
Yeah.
Simon Lloyd has some very heavy connections.
It keeps getting worse.
I told you we should have dropped it.
I just don't like being strong-armed.
Sorry I couldn't make this weekend.
So am I.
Beth Davenport, Audrey Wyatt.
Oh.
Audrey's one of the partners in Bradley Investments.
Did you get a chance to look at the contract? Hmm.
I'd like to meet the attorney who drew it up.
It's a beauty.
Why didn't Dennis call me before he signed it? He had Gil look at it.
Gil's a first-year law student.
Yeah.
Is there anything we can do about the contract? It's legal, if that's what you mean.
Let me have a look at that.
There's got to be a loophole in here.
I never saw a contract that didn't have a loophole.
Jim, if there isn't anything else Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What about the mineral rights? What about them? Are they excluded? Not specifically.
Then the syndicate bought the mineral rights along with the lobby? Right.
I want you to draw up a power of attorney, authorizing me to act on behalf of Dennis and Audrey's syndicate.
And an assignment of rights, transferring those rights from the syndicate to me.
We'll have to contact all 30 people.
That's gonna take a little doing.
What are we sitting here for? Power of attorney, mineral rights, and there's $5000 in here.
Oh, well, that ought to do.
If not, I can always give you a call.
No, you can't give me a call.
You know how hard it was for me to talk the syndication into coming up with that much? They figure Lloyd is long gone.
We're never gonna see him again.
Oh, yes, you will.
And how come we gotta pay for her, too? No offense, Audrey.
Some of the money's mine, Dennis.
Besides, I'm part of the act.
You mind telling me what you're gonna do? Check that.
I don't want to know.
Just tell me that it's gonna work.
Hey, I can't make any promises.
What do you want me to do? Lie to you? Of course I want you to lie to me.
Mrs.
Diehl is getting very nervous.
She's this close into telling the Lieutenant how I got her into this thing.
Will you stop worrying about Diehl? You know, I got a little riding on this myself.
If I don't get the money back, I don't get my percentage, and some yahoo in Newhall is gonna be making himself right at home in my trailer! So here.
Would you like to review the geologists' reports again? Thank you.
Morning, Mr.
Farnswon'th, sir.
Hey, where do you want to set this thing up, Jimmy? J.
W.
Mr.
Farnswon'th, sir.
Now, we're gonna set up right Right here.
I want you over there.
And you boys better get started.
Getting a late start.
Now get moving.
Yes, sir.
Hey.
What are you doing? I mean, what's going on here? Mr.
Farnswon'th, I was assured by the syndication that they would inform management.
Oh, well, they should have told you.
And I blame myself for not handling it personally.
Look, just tell me what's going on.
Well, just what you see.
I'm from Oklahoma.
That's oil country.
Yeah, I got to tell you, we took some sand samples here.
They're some of the best I've ever seen.
You mean you're digging for oil here? In the front yard? Start right here.
What's your name? Farnswon'th.
J.
W.
Think I've seen you somewhere before.
Well, I was down here a while back with Mr.
Becker.
He's one of the partners in Bradley Investments.
You know, they used to own the mineral rights before I bought them off of them.
Excuse me, sir, you're running 10 minutes late and the senator has to be back in Sacramento.
All right.
Thank you, thank you.
You can't do this.
I live here and I'm telling you, you can't do this.
Yeah.
Angel! Angel! Angel! You're tearing up the driveway.
We can't get in or get out.
Oh, well, now, I'm sorry.
He shouldn't be drilling right there in the middle of the driveway.
You move that thing over there, will you? He's just drilling for samples.
It'll be fine over there.
Not with me.
Now, look, I understand, I understand.
If I was in your boots, I'd be biting nails.
And you got a right to be sore.
But I'm telling you, you're just flat talking to the wrong man.
Get me Lloyd.
I think he's out of the country, Mr.
Christian.
Find him.
I want him back here.
Let me speak to Sergeant Becker, please.
I'll hold.
You got the address right? Casa Boni Casa Bonita? What kind of address is that? Why not a number? With a house like this, they don't use a number.
You're staying in a whole house? What's wrong with the Y? It doesn't cost enough.
Dennis, if Lloyd starts checking me out, he's gotta smell big money.
You're gonna have to send me a couple more thousand.
Two gra Two grand? Yeah.
You'd better make it three.
No.
No more.
Then I can't pull it off, Dennis.
It's costing more than I figured.
The house, the equipment, the salaries.
No, I don't want to hear it.
Okay? I don't want to hear it! Send the money, Dennis.
If you don't, we've blown five grand for nothing.
There's somebody at the door.
I'll hang on.
No, it's okay.
The butler will get it.
The butler? Yeah.
He's gotta live, too.
I watched you today.
Listened to you being Mr.
J.
W.
Farnswon'th, oil tycoon.
You're absolutely marvelous.
You showed a certain flair yourself.
Angel and the Rock are here, Jim.
Terry, that's "Mr.
Martin and Mr.
Rockford are here, sir.
" Would you try to keep in practice? You should have been there, Jimmy.
You missed this.
You never saw nothing like it.
What did we have? About 100 people all standing around, all day watching, jackhammer going like hell.
Nobody tried to interfere? No, no.
They didn't even believe that it was happening.
You know what occurred to me? I mean, when you get a crowd like that, doesn't seem right not to work them.
Angel No, no.
Now, I mean, you were right about the oil rig.
That's the thing.
But the thing that really gets them excited, you know, is that jackhammer and that compressor, that noise and that racket.
Boy, it's the roar of the crowd.
And then I got to thinking, you know, you said I ought to have earplugs.
I went down to the drugstore and I talked to the druggist.
Made a deal for earplugs.
28 cents a pair.
Go back and sell them for $1.
75.
$1.
50.
Easy.
Forget it.
Jimmy, don't spit on it, man.
If we don't do it, somebody else will.
Think about it.
Just look, Rocky could be the salesman, huh? He's got that good, honest face.
That smile everybody likes.
We get him a tray, hang it around his neck.
Angel, if you try working a scam on the side, you go straight back to LA.
A persors got a right to his own suggestions, don't he? No.
How did you do on the rig? Ask your friend there.
We did pretty good, considering.
Considering what? Well, considering the fact that him and me were supposed to round up a crew that halfway looked like they knew their way around an oil rig, right? Right.
Well, you saw what they looked like.
You know that tall, skinny kid? The first one? He's a fry cook.
The next fellow was an artichoke grower.
The third, nobody knows.
He couldn't talk English.
And the three fellows I hired, they got so disgusted, I had to give them a raise.
You may have to hit Dennis for more than $3000.
Oh, hey, no kidding, Jimmy, things wasrt so bad.
Well, so bad won't cut it, Angel.
Now, look, we got a time problem.
Well, I've got a time problem.
My trailer goes on the sales block on the 15th of this month.
Now, if you need more men, you hire them.
And I want to see you on that jackhammer.
And, Dad, I want to see an oil derrick on that front lawn.
Got six more bottles of sand samples, Mr.
Farnswon'th.
Okay, great.
Cap them off, send them out airmail to the lab in Tulsa.
It's looking pretty good, huh? Yeah.
I think we got us a heap of water sitting on top of a real big natural gas reserve.
How about that? Mr.
Danzi.
Mr.
Guardell.
Howdy.
How are you folks today? What can old J.
W.
Do for you today? We represent the owners of the condominiums at the Bradley Hotel.
We don't like what's happening.
Well, of course you don't.
'Course you don't.
I come along, mess up your pretty lawn, mess up your driveway, fixing to mess up your golf course.
But that's business, that's progress.
And don't you worry about that noise.
It's only gonna last for a couple of weeks.
That field I brought in last year, that's a whole different story.
Reservoir rock was sandstone.
I had to blast.
We're here to tell you in a very nice way, to get that oil derrick and that jackhammer out of there.
Well, I'm sure there's no offense intended, and none taken.
None taken.
But the jackhammer can't go till we get through the cement, and the derrick, that's a whole different story, but you just tell your folks the minute we strike, that derrick comes down automatic, and we put in cricket pumps.
Mr.
Farnswon'th, the people who bought in at the Bradley were looking for clean air, a good view, a nice, quiet life.
So you see, we can't allow you to foul the atmosphere.
Me? Why, there's every safeguard known to scientific man built into our rigs.
Now, you just rest easy.
There ain't gonna be no oil spills, nothing like that.
There isn't gonna be any oil.
My geologists say different.
And I got contracts, I got buyers waiting.
Then I'm afraid they're gonna have to wait for some other time.
Some other field.
That sounds something like an order.
A suggestion, Mr.
Farnswon'th.
A very strong suggestion.
You see, we're not only concerned for the tenants, but for you and your employees.
There are any number of things that could happen to you, to the rig Now, that That sounds more like a threat.
Oh, I was speaking of accidents.
Working around all that machinery, that could be a chancy proposition.
Give a little thought to what I've said, Mr.
Farnswon'th.
Well, think of it as accident insurance.
Sergeant Becker.
Hey, Dennis, who lives at the Bradley Hotel? What? I just had a visit from the tenants committee.
Can you get me the names of the owners of the condominiums? Yeah, I think so.
It might take a couple of days.
All right.
You get them and run them through the computer.
I just got one of those funny feelings.
Like what? Well, like the answer's gonna be something I don't want to hear.
We're out of number Want to use German cable to tie off the rig? Ain't none of that drilling cable that goes anywhere but right down that hole.
Is it finished? Yeah, it's finished.
Oh! Oh! We deserve a celebration.
Yeah.
Dinner out or in? In.
What's in the bag? Oh, that's for the celebration.
I drove into town today.
Oh, Jim.
Oh, oh, you know, there was only five or six copies left.
The clerk said it's a bestseller.
Want my autograph? Oh, that isn't necessary.
No, I want to.
It's already signed.
Well, it must be a promotional copy.
Uncle Ralph's granddaughter lives here.
He visited her a few weeks ago, and they made a round of all the bookstores at the same time.
He's an amazing man for his age, according to the clerk.
Didrt you think I'd find out? Well, you wouldn't have if you werert such a sentimentalist.
Want an explanation? I want the truth.
All right, I'm not Uncle Ralph, but I wrote the book.
The only thing that Uncle Ralph has written in the past three years, is on the back of his royalty checks.
I work at the publishing house as a proofreader.
I wrote it on my own time, I submitted it and they liked it.
They needed an Uncle Ralph story, so we made a deal.
I don't get any of the credit, but I get most of the money, and Uncle Ralph gets 10% for the use of his name.
What's the first line? The first line in the book.
If you wrote it, you should remember it.
Of course I wrote it.
Don't you believe me? No.
Give me the line.
Billy's best friend was a big balloon.
Not even close.
You're right.
That was the first draft.
Let me see, what did I change it to? Well, I wrote it over a year ago.
Who are you? I already told you.
I'm very disappointed in you, Audrey.
Your story doesn't wash.
Don't you have a backup ready? Why bother? You seem determined to discount everything I say.
You know, driving back from the bookstore I did a lot of thinking.
I was trying to figure out why you lied to me.
A very elaborate lie, very convincing.
Only one thing made sense.
You were part of the con.
I lost $15,000.
You never lost a dime.
Lloyd was the operator and you were the roper.
After the two of you made your score, Lloyd cleared out and left you here to cool off the marks.
You know, ever since I met you, you've been trying to blow me off this case.
"Ironclad contracts, take the loss gracefully.
" That's not only insulting, it's absurd.
Oh, knock it off, Audrey.
I have no intention of letting Dennis get stiffed by a couple of high-class grifters.
Not to mention, I'm not gonna lose my trailer.
You're the one who sicced the bank on me in the first place.
Where's Lloyd? Audrey, we can have this conversation, or you can have it with the cops.
Now, where is he? In Brazil, where they speak Portuguese.
Can you reach him? Okay, I want you to send him a cable.
Why don't I phone him? It's quicker.
Because I want to have control over what you say.
When I started I was trying to cool a mark.
But then you came up with this incredible scam.
It's beautiful.
When I tell Lloyd that J.
W.
Farnswon'th is about to strike oil, we'll sell him that hotel for three times the money.
We? Well, naturally I expect a small profit.
You couldn't do it without me.
You'd sell him out just like that? I only met him last year.
He was working a bad variation of the old pigeon drop scam.
I cleaned it up.
I mean, we hardly knew each other.
You might be on the level, but only because there's a lot of bread in it.
But from hereon, we keep our relationship professional.
Wort be as much fun.
Hey, Mr.
Farnswon'th.
Lookie here, it's looking even better than you expected.
Yeah.
We ought to be bringing her in any minute.
It's Lloyd.
All right, Angel, get back on your jackhammer.
Rocky, you look busy.
You sure he thinks I'm Farnswon'th? He doesn't know Jim Rockford.
I told him the bank number cooled you off.
What did I tell you? I ought to Will you shut that thing off? Knock it off! You picked a great time to leave town.
I got back as soon as I heard.
Now, how long has this thing been going on? Too long.
Every morning, 6:00 they start.
I had to move.
You sell me an apartment in this place so I can have peace and quiet, and I had to move! All right, all right.
I'll take care of everything.
I'll have you back in there in no time at all.
You tell him, not me.
Farnswon'th? Yeah.
What can I do for you? I know of you by reputation, Mr.
Farnswon'th.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
My name is Simon Lloyd.
Lloyd.
Lloyd.
Oh, yeah, you're the one who sold this place off.
Yeah.
Not too popular around here at the moment.
Yeah, well, I know the feeling.
Should I have the geologists' reports duplicated for Mr.
Kline and the board members? Yeah, honey, you do that.
Board members.
They don't know beans about oil.
They need scientific proof.
Now, you take my daddy, he was a cable driller.
He could tell by the feel of that cable what they was into.
He didn't need no samples, no tests.
He could tell by the feel.
And you inerited your father's talent? No, I'll never be the oil man my daddy was.
I'm working on it, though.
I'm coming close.
Nice talking to you.
Mr.
Farnswon'th, I've got a bit of a problem.
Majority of the people who bought apartments at the Bradley are personal friends of mine.
Fine people, all of them.
And, well, quite frankly, they're extremely upset to discover that suddenly they're living in the middle of an oil field.
I can understand that, yeah.
Well, I can understand your position.
Now, you bought the mineral rights to this property in good faith, you're convinced that there's oil on it, and you mean to dig for it.
Yeah, that's about it.
Well, what I'd like to propose is a compromise.
Now, I own the 15 acres directly adjoining this property.
You could slant drill.
Oh, well, the field may not be big enough to slant drill.
Oh, I'm sure that it is, and I'll absorb any expenses involved.
Pay for dismantling the rig, pay for its reconstruction at the new site.
Well, now, I hope you won't take this wrong, but all that generosity makes me downright suspicious.
I know what I got here.
I I'm not interested in a pig in a poke.
All right, all right.
I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you.
Now, the tenants are exerting a great deal of pressure on me.
Otherwise, I wouldn't suggest what I'm about to.
I own 50% of a production field in Texas.
I'll turn it over to you.
Now, you take no chances whatsoever.
They're pumping.
Well, I'm not a hard man.
I know you got problems.
I got them, too.
But if I stopped drilling, I'm in breach of contract.
Now, one of two things is gonna happen, either we strike oil, we get black gold pouring down on us, or we strike water, which means we got natural gas.
Either way, it's money in the bank.
I just got no choice.
Well, I can sure understand how Dennis got sucked in.
He has a class act.
You and I have a better one.
You show remarkable restraint.
I keep waiting for the inevitable, "What's a nice girl like you " Well, the details are probably too painful to go into.
Broken home, unappy childhood.
You don't believe me.
No.
Slow down.
Angel.
Hey, Angel.
What are you doing? I've been invited to take a hike.
I'm hiking.
Get in.
Come on.
Get in.
Look, you've done it to me before and you're not doing it this time.
I worked that machine for you, which I think it has done something permanent to my insides.
Plus, I ain't hearing too good.
But I hear good enough to know if I go back there, I end up in a rubber bag.
Come on, who'd threaten you? What, I ain't good enough to be threatened? I was threatened! Concrete boots, that's what he said.
Who? I don't know who and I don't want to know who.
I'm not going back.
Boy, Detective Becker's sure gonna be disappointed.
I just don't know what he's gonna say about this.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
All right, all right.
I'm coming with you.
Hi, Dennis.
Dennis, the butler said you were waiting.
Yeah.
Quite a place you got here.
You're really roughing it.
Yeah, it's gonna pay off.
What's the matter, Dennis? What are you doing here? Hi, Audrey.
What's Angel Martin doing here? You bring some of the ex-con friends in on this? He was gonna talk to my parole officer, put in a good word.
He doesn't even know I'm here! Well, now he does.
Come here a second.
You know the names that you asked me to run through the computer, who bought the apartments? Yeah.
Paul Barrone, South Chicago.
Louis Christian, out of Detroit.
Herman Keitell, Brooklyn.
Sammy La Presa, Jersey.
Hey, wait.
Wait a minute.
Keitell? Isn't he Yeah, they all are.
Lieutenant Diehl's wife and me, we're running a country club for the mob.
You mean that everybody in the Bradley is part of organized crime? Not everybody.
Just enough to have me busted back to patrolman.
Seven of the apartments for sure, two of the others You know, that's really great.
I've been waking them up every morning with a jackhammer.
They're all punks! And they all should be doing hard time.
Yeah, well, you work on your Medal of Honor.
I'll work on staying alive.
Oh! Farnswon'th.
Yeah? I'd like to talk to you.
Some other time.
Now! I've seen the geologists' reports and I've seen the sand samples.
Money has a way of bringing out the worst in me.
I want to buy you out.
Well, I don't want to sell.
I'm prepared to be generous.
I don't want to sell! Well, when Audrey brought me those reports last night, she also brought me copies of your contracts.
They indicate that you expect this field to pay off big.
Those contracts are as phony as the geologists' reports.
I considered that possibility, so I had my own tests run on the sand samples this morning.
The reports are accurate.
And they favor hitting natural gas.
I'm having papers drawn up for transfer of ownership.
There's no way you can force me to sell.
On the contrary, any number of ways that I can force you to sell.
Well, one of my associates, for example, Mr.
Christian.
You see, Mr.
Christian is a member of organized crime.
He can be very persuasive.
You're not gonna bring him in on it.
He's in.
And I'm in.
And you're out.
I'll see if the contracts are ready.
Audrey, where's Christian? At the rig.
Well, how soon do we hit? We're not gonna hit oil or anything else.
Lloyd showed me the reports.
They're phony.
I've been running a scam.
I'm not Farnswon'th from Oklahoma, I'm Rockford from Los Angeles.
There's not any oil here and there never will be.
We're paying a very big price.
Believe me, there is not any oil here.
Now, I leveled with Lloyd.
If he brings you into this thing, you're gonna get stung, and I don't want any part of that.
If there's no oil, how come you put up this rig? Because I wanted people to think there was.
I'm telling you the truth, Mr.
Christian.
You're not a man I'd lie to.
I'm not a guy Lloyd would lie to, either.
He made a mistake with me once.
He's not dumb enough to do it again.
So, like the man told you, sell.
You don't give me much choice.
I give you no choice.
It's against my will.
Sure.
Now, you just remember that Lloyd brought you into this thing, not me.
Remember that.
Sure.
Sure.
Sure.
Wait a minute.
Hold it.
Hold it.
We hit oil.
Yahoo! We hit oil! We did it! Oil! Oil! Oil! Oil! Oil! Oil! Gas.
Gas.
Gas! Gas! What did we hit? Just what we were aiming at.
The water main.
We picked a hot enough day for it.
Watch out, here comes the chef.
Hey.
Ah! Oh, looks good.
Good.
It's gonna be great for me.
What are the rest of you gonna eat? I don't know how you did it, Jimbo.
Lloyd thought you hit a natural gas well.
Why'd he think that? Oh, I may have suggested it.
And the whole mess is right back in his lap where it belongs.
Somebody did a good job of selling him.
Yeah.
Somebody sure did.
Boy, at 5.
25%, do you know how long it would have taken us to double our money? Do you know how close you came to losing it? Uh-huh.
That's true.
And you should hear Lieutenant Diehl.
He thinks he's some kind of financial genius.
He didn't know he was in till he was out.
Mmm-hmm.
Did you tell him he owes me a thank you? Not exactly.
What do you mean, "Not exactly"? Well, if I was to mention you, then I'll have to tell him the whole story.
Oh, which means you wouldn't come out of it looking too good, would you, huh? You got paid, didn't you? You got your trailer back, didn't you? What else do you want? I don't think that Come on, you guys.
This is supposed to be a celebration.
Yeah, cheers.
Yeah.
Hey, what happens to Mr.
Lloyd? Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about him.
He seems like a resourceful fellow.
Hey, get me a beer, will you? Anything you want? Yeah.
Thanks for not telling them about me.
I like them.
You know, I've never really gotten to know a mark before.
Change your perspective? Mmm-hmm.
But it won't change my life.
Do you want to bet?