The Rockford Files (1974) s05e09 Episode Script

Black Mirror

She's an interesting woman, and she's fine to look at, but so are two zillion others.
Must account for the two zillion happy relationships I see around.
Who is this? He's gonna bite that pretty neck of hers and kill her.
Don't, please! Stop it! What you're going through is psychological rape.
Oh, Lord.
(SCREAMS) Don't! (PHONE RINGING) ROCKFORD ON ANSWERING MACHINE: This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
(BEEPS) MAN: Jim, I leave London, 4:00, arrive LA, 9:00.
I guess that's London time.
Yeah, 4:00 to 9:00 is five minus 12 hours flying.
No, plus 12 hours.
Ah, but then there's the time change.
It's a definite no, Angel.
Last time you borrowed my car, when I got it back there was no reverse, chili on the seats, and a different set of tires.
Wrong, wrong.
They were the same tires.
I didn't sell your tires.
I suppose you can tell these tires from any other tires in the world? I can tell when they don't have tread! The answer is no.
Hey, look here.
Oh, come on.
Rocky's waiting.
This is a pretty good pigskin, Jimmy.
I've got a nephew who's got a birthday next week.
Put it back where you found it.
I have to live here, Angel.
Hey, Jimmy, go on out like you used to do in the exercise yard.
Jim, go on, go deep! Oh, come on, Angel.
Go deep, a big one! Go on, Jimmy.
Oh, Angel! Oh, hey.
I'm awfully sorry, really.
You okay? Hey, I'll live.
Go, Jimmy, Jimmy! Toss it back.
Put the old pill in the box! Now put it back where you found it.
Again, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Hey, do you live around here? Yeah.
My friend and I noticed that seafood place back at the Coast Highway intersection.
He said it might be a good place for lunch.
How is it? Oh, well, it's a good thing you asked.
It's the worst.
You know, they're always dodging health code violations.
Are you serious? Oh, it's the neighborhood disgrace.
Their lobsters are rumbling with the rats down there every night.
I think the lobsters are losing.
No, seriously, it is bad, but this place right over here is very good.
Okay, I'll tell him.
Thanks for the warning.
You're welcome.
Must be nice living at the beach.
Well, it works out good for me.
I manage to be around enough in the daytime to enjoy it.
Lucky you.
What kind of work do you do? I'm a private investigator.
My name's Jim Rockford, by the way.
Megan Dougherty.
Come on, Jimmy! I just had a thought.
Why don't you go light on lunch, and then you and I can have dinner tonight? Thanks, no.
I'm going to be working tonight.
Tomorrow? Sorry.
I'll be working tomorrow night, too.
I work all the time.
Well, then, there's no point in you moving to the beach.
It was nice talking to you, anyway.
Same here.
Thanks for asking.
Jimmy, hey.
Oh, good.
(CHATTERING) WOMAN: Want some coffee? MAN: Yeah, I'll go if anybody wants some.
WOMAN: Megan really seemed in top form tonight, didn't she? If he calls back, you tell him that coffee table was promised for Friday, not Saturday.
There won't be anybody here on Saturday.
(MYRA CLEARING THROAT) Doctor Dougherty.
Yes, Myra? I just wanted you to know that I thought it was an awfully good group tonight.
Yes, it was, wasn't it? Yeah.
Sorry to interrupt.
It's okay.
You want the door closed? Leave it open, okay? Bye.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Any other calls? (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) WOMAN: Come on, Myra, hurry up.
Thanks.
Okay, all right, all right.
Fine, Doctor.
Bye-bye.
(SIGHS) Thank you.
(LIGHTER STRIKING) These elevators take forever, don't they? (COUGHS) Stop, please.
Stop it.
Don't, please! Don't, please! Stop it! (GASPING) Easy, easy, lady, easy.
You just knocked the pail over.
Now, it's okay.
It's okay.
I'm the janitor.
There's somebody following me.
He's up there.
Well, I'll have a look-see.
Now, you just You just stay right here.
Stay right here.
(PANTING) Who's there? Anybody? (DOOR CLOSING) It's okay.
You can relax, ma'am.
Whoever it was, they're not there anymore.
They're gone.
(GASPING) The elevator wouldn't come.
Oh, I guess that was me.
I was vacuuming it out.
It's gotta get done sometime, you know.
Ma'am? Are you all right, ma'am? (SOBBING) Sure you're all right? Do you mind? I thought we came to an understanding about you reading over my shoulder when I was 13 and failing algebra.
She's a Ph.
D.
, huh? It's funny how good your eyes are, considering the fact I had to pick up the dinner tab because you couldn't see without your glasses.
Well, I'll bet you she never flunked her algebra.
Well, ain't you gonna phone her? No.
Well, why are you looking in the phone book, then? Just idle curiosity.
An idle mind is the devil's workshop.
Am I in a time warp or something? I don't believe this! I haven't heard dialogue like this since I was in short pants.
I'm sorry I ever mentioned the woman in passing.
You said you was interested in her.
Just in passing.
I said she seemed to have a good sense of humor.
You mean she laughed at one of your jokes, huh? Do you mind if I finish reading the newspaper, Dad? Look, with this Ph.
D.
And all like that, it sounds to me like she's the kind of girl you should call up.
I do not want you making the same mistake you made with Susie Turley.
Sue Turley? What a mistake.
Sue Turley now weighs 300 pounds and is good for a fifth of vodka a day.
Little Susie? Ah.
Well, I think you ought to call this girl, anyway.
I think I'd like her.
Oh, well, that clinches it.
Why didn't you say so before? I'll get right on that phone.
You know what I mean, sonny.
Dad, it's no big deal, really.
She shot me down once, anyway.
Said she had to work.
That don't sound to me like she shot you down.
Yeah, my number two engine was on fire and there was smoke coming out of number four.
Ah! Then you got your back up, huh? Listen, sonny, when your ma first knew me, she said she would never, never, never date me, but she come around.
Maybe this little girl did have to work.
Nah.
No, I got the definite impression this one didn't need anybody.
(PHONE RINGING) Hello? (CLEARS THROAT) Hello? MAN: Doctor Dougherty? Yes.
This is Gortner Building Management.
I'm sorry about the hour, but as you may have heard, we're going to be repainting 2121 Wilshire tomorrow.
It'll include the hallway outside your office, and we're taking a survey of the tenants to find out what color they'd prefer.
Who is this? It's Gortner Building Management.
Doctor Dougherty? What's it going to be? What color should I put down? Mauve? Sandalwood? Oh, there's lots of nice ones.
(PHONE RINGING) (PHONE RINGING) Yeah, hello? Mr.
Rockford? This is Megan Dougherty.
Remember, we met at the beach? Why sure, I remember.
I'm sorry to call you at this time of night, but I don't know, I I think I need a private investigator.
Excuse me.
It's okay.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) Mr.
Rockford? Yes.
Hi.
Come on in.
Thank you.
Thanks again for coming.
I feel kind of silly asking you to come.
Oh, it's no problem.
No problem.
This is a nice apartment.
Thank you.
Can I get you something to drink? Coffee, anything? Yeah, well, coffee, maybe, if it's no trouble.
so then the kicker was the nature of the call.
I mean, who knows, maybe it was selected as something that would cause me particular pain.
Well, I'm glad you called tonight rather than wait till tomorrow like you wanted to.
You do know what the obvious question is? Do I have any enemies? Mmm-hmm.
It's a weird question to answer, but no, I don't think so.
Well, do you live alone? Well, there's Sarah, the housekeeper.
But she only comes twice a week and just days.
Well, I tell you what I think we ought to do.
I think we ought to take you to the police department.
I have a friend in the Hollywood division.
I can't do that, Mr.
Rockford.
They'll find out I'm a psychologist, and they'll assume the people I work with are involved.
There's a certain logic there, wouldn't you agree? No, I wouldn't.
I work with conflicted people, depressed people, that's all.
Not psychotics or psychopaths.
Anyway, why would one of my patients want to do this to me? Well, I'm not a psychologist, but isn't one of the surest ways to get kicked in the teeth is to try and help somebody out? Only if you come uninvited, and all of these people have sought me out.
They're motivated.
And all their motivations are very clear and uncomplicated? You're not a psychologist, huh? All right, all right, you may have a point.
In some ways, therapy can be like a battle waged between the therapist and the patient.
You're fighting for hope, trust, optimism, and, okay, let's cop to it, control.
Someone might, for some sick, fearful reason, choose to fight that battle in a very scary way.
Just to prove that you're not so great? You don't have all the answers? That I bleed like they do.
Of course, you hope they already know that.
Anyway, the point is, the police would want to read my files, they'd want to listen to tapes of therapy sessions.
I can't violate patient confidentiality.
Yeah, well, I understand that.
I really do.
I run into the same problems in my work, but this is not a mild situation.
The criminology term for what you're going through is psychological rape.
You do understand, don't you, that if I'm going to help, I'll need the same disclosure of information from you that the police would? (STUTTERING) Well, I can't.
I can't tell you, either.
Am I missing something here, like what it is I'm supposed to do? I don't know.
I mean, I'm not in the detective business.
I thought maybe you could suggest something.
I did.
Show me your tapes and your files.
It's really the only way to do this.
No, I can't share patient histories with you.
I guess I'll just have to take my chances.
I have no other choice.
How much do I owe you for the consultation? It's on the house.
No, I insist.
Your time is valuable.
Well, not to you, because there's nothing I can do for you.
I did think that maybe you could check the hallway.
Maybe something fell out of his pocket or came off his shoe Oh, like maybe sand? Found only in one tiny coastal town in Argentina? And I track him down that way, huh? I'm sorry, it just doesn't work that way.
I guess people have seen too many movies.
Really, how much do I owe you? Really, nothing.
I'll tell you what.
Um You could pay for dinner and I could resubmit my invitation.
No, thank you.
You're angry? It's not so much with you, it's more the situation.
If there's anything that makes me come out of my skin, it's being boxed in, having no place to move.
I hate feeling helpless.
I guess I'm just tired.
Thanks again for coming, Mr.
Rockford.
I mean it.
Oh, it was my pleasure, believe me.
But I still think you're angry.
No.
I'm not.
But if you think I still am, I don't know why you would, but maybe you feel a little guilty? I won't charge you for that.
Well, good, 'cause I have to tell you, I don't really feel guilty.
I feel so guilty.
I mean, she's defenseless.
There's nothing I can do, not unless she gives me some place to start.
Sure, it might not even be one of her patients, but so what? I gotta start some place, and she won't let me.
I don't know why I feel so guilty.
Are you listening, Dennis? That's a question for a psychologist.
Oh, well, the old laugh meter is gonna go right through the roof, huh? You're going to make the Ted Mack run-offs, Dennis.
What did I say? She is a psychologist.
You see, you weren't listening.
I'm listening, but I also got this speech for the academy class breakfast.
I'm an administrator now, Jim, and it's no picnic.
Breakfasts usually aren't, they're usually in hotels.
And you keep using unintentional metaphors like that, your Gettysburg Address is going to end up in a basket.
Well, you're right.
Look at this, I have this expression, "Food for thought," followed right up by, "Using our badges as an entrée.
" How do you avoid that? I don't know, Dennis.
How do you figure it, huh? Business is business, procedure is procedure.
This thing just keeps banging around in my head.
Look, she's blind.
I mean, I'd probably have a little of the guilts myself.
But there's nothing you can do, or me, either.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sure.
She's blind, but that's not it.
The way I read her, it's almost like she's not blind, you know.
She's free, she's savvy, she's independent.
Then it must be something else.
Oh, well, yeah, sure.
She's an interesting woman, and she's fine to look at, but so are two zillion others.
Must account for the two zillion happy relationships I see around.
No, it's odd, Dennis.
She and I just don't sing off the same page about anything.
You know, I say hello, she's gonna say goodbye.
I say cat, she's gonna say dog.
Have you ever met anybody like that before? Yeah, but frankly, I don't think you want to hear about it.
Peggy? Yeah.
Oh, I guess I could ask her to hire a fulltime bodyguard, but then that'd break the bank.
I could do it myself without telling her.
No, that's out of the question.
I'd go broke.
Nothing much to be done here.
There's nothing I can do, not unless she opens up.
And she can't do that.
You know, you gotta admire her for that.
I don't know, Dennis.
I knew there was nothing you could do when I came over here.
I just wanted an ear.
Last night, I kept getting burned.
I kept wondering what she was after.
What does she want from me? (SIGHS) I can see now that's all she was after.
She knew it was all cotton candy.
She needed somebody to talk to.
Yeah, I know.
I was just noodling, Dennis.
You, in your official capacity, you could ask the phone company to give you the computer record of all incoming calls to her house, and then I could take it from there.
I can't do that, Jim.
There's been no call linked to the overt threat, no profanity.
I'd use up the goodwill and working relationship that we need with the telephone company for real emergencies.
You see, Jim, things are different now.
I gotta put on my administrator's hat.
Size fifteen and a half? Oh, it's very easy to comment from the bleachers, Jimbo.
Hey, wait a minute, see how this finish sounds.
"And now we must strive to continue to do our utmost, "even as we have strove to bring credit on the academy.
" That's fine.
Just fine, Dennis.
I wouldn't change a word.
(STUTTERING) I said to him, "Mr.
Linovitz.
"I know as much about hair chemistry as any of these other grandstanders, "and I think I should be the one to go to the seminar this year in Redlands.
" He sent Bruce Oliansky.
The guy couldn't be more fey.
Fey or not fey doesn't have anything to do with it, does it? No.
Not in the hair business.
The other cutters have bigger tips than me, and they have bigger customer books so they get sent to the trade shows.
Maybe that's because they relate to people, especially women, more easily.
They allow their good feelings to come out.
Don't you think you could do that, too? Yeah.
Danny, we've learned a lot about your feelings for your mother, how you felt that she hated you because she was away from home so much.
I think maybe it's time to separate her from other women.
We're not all the same.
(STAMMERING) Yeah, I guess I know what you mean.
You've got to do something for yourself.
Put Linovitz's behind you.
Get another job.
Break this depressive cycle.
Yeah.
That's That's why I'm real excited about this whole thing, about being a handicapper at the race track.
You see, I know I could pick up the math, and I think I'd meet a lot of neat women at the track.
Behind the big tote board? No, huh? The main thing is you've got to get a job you can enjoy.
Yeah.
And try to get out of your apartment at night more often.
(STAMMERING) Yeah, I think I'm ready to do that.
Yeah, I think maybe a year and a half in that apartment's enough.
Yeah.
We're going to have to stop now.
(STAMMERING) Well, I'll see you next time, Doctor Dougherty.
Danny, we've known each other for almost two years.
You think you might try calling me Megan? (STAMMERING) I'll try.
Norman? (TAPE RECORDER CLICKING) So, hello, Norman.
So, how are you? I feel like blowing my brains out.
Don't you want to talk about it? What's to talk about? I feel like blowing my brains out.
That about says it, doesn't it? "Other than that, Mrs.
Lincoln, how'd you like the play?" Right? Coming over here on the freeway, there was a guy in a Citroën, cut me off.
If I'd had a shotgun, I'd have blown his head clear through his windshield, I swear.
Who do you want to kill, Norman? Yourself or everybody else? What poise.
Nothing shakes her.
Always the plucky blind girl.
Please don't call me a girl, and I certainly don't feel very plucky.
Norman, I think we should get to all this hostility you have toward me.
I don't have any special hostility toward you.
Please, sit down.
I want you to do an image for me.
Same old crapola.
I want you to imagine you're an animal, any animal.
A wolf.
A big bad wolf.
With real shiny fur and white teeth.
Kind of a beautiful animal.
Okay.
Now I'm an animal.
What kind of animal am I? A cat.
Very pretty.
Okay.
Now I want you to imagine that this cat and the wolf are walking down a road together.
How do they feel? What happens? Well, they're walking down the road and everything's cool.
In fact, they're starting to groove on each other, you know? I mean, like, the cat digs the wolf on account of she knows he'll go to the mat for her if need be 'cause she's small and got small bones, the kind that get broken easily.
But then, like, you know, the cat sees the wolf has these fleas and ticks in his fur, and she starts chopping him down and acting all hoi polloi.
And she scratches him.
And then the wolf attacks.
And he takes her in his teeth, she's screaming.
And he He's gonna bite that pretty neck of hers and kill her 'cause she chopped him down.
But then, the cat has this special stinger.
And she stings the wolf, poisons him.
He dies.
Go on.
Norman, what are you doing? What do you mean, what am I doing? I I gotta use the head.
What's the matter with you today? Norman, cats don't have stingers.
A little cat couldn't kill a wolf.
Why do you think I would even want to do that? I don't know.
I don't know.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) (GROANS) Ow! Damn it, Sarah.
Oh, Lord.
(EXCLAIMS) Who's in here? You son of a (GROANING) (SCREAMS) (EXCLAIMS) (SOBBING) This is ridiculous.
I know where these things go.
Why should you be doing all the work? Careful, careful.
There's a little end table right here.
Here, it's kind of heavy.
Where does it go? Over in that far corner.
The bonsai should be on it.
I was watching you.
It just never occurred to me he'd be inside your apartment.
I'm glad you called.
I can't thank you enough for following me.
I had no idea you were there.
It's just about the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah, well, it's too bad I gave up the nomination for president early this morning.
I don't know what, but I'm going to do something nice for you.
Megan, you could do something nice for me right now.
You can start talking about your patients.
Please don't.
Megan, there comes a point when there's just too much of a good thing.
This is not something capricious on my part.
Just stubborn? It's professional ethics.
Oh, swell.
Look, maybe I help myself, how many patients do I hurt? Well, how many are you gonna hurt if you're not around to listen to their troubles? Nobody told me being a therapist would be easy.
Did they tell you it could be fatal? I don't need to be reminded of the bleaker aspects of this, okay? Megan, have you had occasion recently to write your name and address on the inside of a matchbook cover? None at all.
Well, it does look like a masculine handwriting.
Megan, look.
If I took this matchbook cover to a handwriting expert and he got any kind of profile out of it, that profile fit any of your patients, would you deign to take me into your confidence then? I don't know.
I don't know what to say.
Oh, I'm hungry.
What kind of an idiot gets hungry at a time like this? (CHUCKLING) I'm not going to touch that one.
Hilarious.
I sure don't feel like cooking, I can tell you that.
Well, I could use some food.
I guess we could get it together, don't you think? Something simple, fast.
Hamburger, hot dog.
Pack of LifeSavers? Where the hell are my shoes? I'll get them.
(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) MEGAN: We agreed on something simple, not like we were really going out to eat.
Oh, you weren't sitting in the car with me when I circled the block three times at Hamburger Hogan's looking for a parking space? Besides, I got news for you, this ain't exactly Maxine's.
Cigarette? No, thanks.
I quit.
Naturally.
Let me suggest, if I may, sir.
We have a nice Rubesco.
It goes real good with veal parmigiana.
Sure, why not? Not for me, thanks.
I'll just have a mineral water or something.
Oh, I'm sorry, hon.
Our soda supply man, he missed his delivery today.
We got no carbonated beverages at all.
Well, how about some chocolate milk? You know, anything, just so long as we don't have to have a good time while we're here.
Mmm.
I was hungrier than I thought.
I didn't get lunch today.
Well, you're too busy.
You work all the time.
Is that what's still climbing your back? That I turned down your invitation on the beach? Do you get this way every time a woman says no to you? Just like this.
It is still bothering you.
You should admit it.
Now, listen, I want it understood, I'm picking up the tab, okay? Oh, well, that's fine, but the tab hasn't arrived yet.
I know that, and you know what I mean.
Yeah, well, we'll fight it out.
Straight wrestling, two out of three falls.
Excuse me, would she like some fresh grated parmesan cheese with her meal? Why don't you ask her? Sight has nothing to do with making decisions or having a taste for cheese.
And no, I don't care for any.
Thank you.
None for me, either.
Thank you.
More? Mmm-mmm.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Thank you.
I use a whole mix of psychoanalytical theory in my work, but psychoimagination seems to really pay off.
See, it's very revealing.
It cuts through the usual talk to the subconscious.
People hide from themselves even when they're not trying.
Yeah, well, you see, the trouble with me is I've got nothing to hide.
Good.
Why don't we just do one just to fill time, okay? Mmm-hmm.
Okay, close your eyes.
Relax.
Are your eyes closed? Yes, already.
All right.
Now imagine a sealed can under the water.
Okay, what's in it? How do you feel? Just a regular can? You tell me.
Yeah, well, that's it, just a regular can.
Except you put it under the water.
I put it there? Why? Well, I don't know.
It's just the image I got.
Okay.
So, tell me more about the can.
It's just a regular can.
Eleven ounces, vegetables in it, baby peas, maybe.
Baby peas? Why do you think baby peas? Well, who knows? I mean, it's just a regular can.
Just a can of peas, like the expression, "Who wants to open that can of peas?" (BOTH CHUCKLING) What can of peas don't you want to open? Cigarette? More wine? Ashtray? Lamp? Clean house.
What can of peas don't you want to open? And what's it got to do with me? You'll have to come and get me, Warden.
You'll never take me alive.
(LAUGHS) (MEGAN LAUGHING) MEGAN: You deserve a lot of credit.
Starts out being one of the worst nights of my life, and I come home feeling all relaxed and with a nice buzz.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I mean it.
I've had a wonderful time under what should have been the worst of all possible circumstances.
And I want to thank you.
Hey, I enjoyed it.
I really did.
You better give me your keys.
Back to the grim reality.
Oh, maybe not so grim.
The piece of tape I put on the door is still there.
Okay.
You may enter.
The coast is clear.
Here are your keys.
Can I get you something to drink? Hey, he's not here.
That's supposed to read as good news.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Can I get you something? Oh, yeah.
Coffee, I guess.
Come on, now, Megan.
What's wrong, huh? It's just that it's taken me years to get this place together, to get it to a point where I could live here independently.
Now the whole thing's shot.
Oh, it's just temporary.
About that handwriting business.
Okay, let's do it.
Oh, hey, that's a good move, really.
But there is one other thing.
You're gonna have to have somebody with you while I'm working the case.
Oh, Jim, not a bodyguard.
I can't have some meat loaf in a double-breasted suit hanging around my outer office.
My patients will freak.
Well, I think one of them already has.
Not all bodyguards are meat loaves.
Don't be cliché, huh? They don't all wear double-breasted suits.
The guy I have in mind is very conservative and very discreet.
He will put them in the hospital if he has to.
Marvelous.
But that's the kind of game we're in.
Now, you lay low tomorrow.
No work, huh? And I've got a few things that I have to do.
I'll call Charlie Martell, he's the bodyguard.
You go to work the day after.
Okay.
(EXCLAIMS) Sorry.
I don't usually do that.
Yeah, I noticed that.
Now whatever could have possessed you? I guess I should be more careful.
Oh, yeah.
(EXCLAIMS) What? Oh, I guess it's Mr.
Engel coming home smashed again.
I didn't hear a thing.
Well, blind people depend on their other senses, so they develop them.
Oh, yeah? Which senses? Take your pick.
Mmm.
CHARLIE: That's how come I'm late.
I'm sorry, too, Doctor.
It's okay, Mr.
Martell.
I just wonder if you could step on it a little.
My first patient is at 9:00.
You got it, Doctor.
The thing is, see, when I saw Eddie come on during the TV commercial last night, saying they had a special on double-breasted suits, I just had to get down there and pick up on the sale.
They're all I wear.
You can't find them in my size like you used to.
How come that is, I wonder.
(SIGHS) You know, Charles Martell isn't my real name.
No, I'm born Leonard Curto.
I seen the name Charles Martell on a bottle of booze.
It had a hand holding a hammer.
It said, "Charles Martel, the Hammer!" I figured that was a good nom de plume for my line of work.
You know what I mean? Bodyguard? It's a cognac, right? Charles Martel was the king of France.
Yeah, no kidding? It was an expensive booze, I remember that 'cause I didn't buy it.
I'm a bourbon and soda man, myself.
Really? King of France, huh? Like with that powdered wig? Hey, Doctor, look.
Usually I don't got a nonstop mouth like this.
Usually I'm a very tacit guy.
Yeah, the only reason I'm spewing off this way is, well, I ain't ever been with a psychologist before.
I hear they can tell all kinds of things about you.
It kind of makes me nervous.
Only when the meter's running.
Don't worry.
Believe me, Mr.
Martell, I'm not going to find some deep secrets or hidden urges.
You can relax.
Hey, I bet I know what your favorite music is.
Stevie Wonder.
ROCKFORD: Oh, boy, is it a beautiful day.
You know something, you give me mishegaas to work with here.
I know, Myron.
I'm not asking for a roomful of data.
You know, any indication of personality would be a big help.
They all think it's so easy.
Listen, with this little handwriting, I cannot warranty the results.
I cannot stand behind it.
Thumbnail is what we're into here.
All right, all right already.
You'll have to sign a release to that effect.
National Detection Services cannot be held responsible for any damages resulting from an inaccurate graphoanalysis in this case.
Okay.
Come on, Myron, you're the best.
I trust you.
That's why I came to see you.
Hey, you run into any of the old gang from Quentin? Let's see, who'd I see? Yeah, I saw Tommy Marchetti's sister at the mall couple of weeks ago, matter of fact.
Good old Marchetti.
I tell you, that guy could make me laugh just walking into a room.
How's he doing? He's dead.
Heart.
44 years old.
Can you believe it? Live for today, I say.
Oh, boy, Angel's really going to be upset to hear that.
I mean, he's crazy about Marchetti.
(SCOFFS) He should worry.
He's still alive.
It just goes to prove my point.
What point? Only the good die young.
Catch as catch can, I say.
I saw Bob Metaxa, oh, about six months ago, maybe more.
He said he's thinking about getting married.
I ran into him Labor Day.
He's not a well man, either.
It's another sad story.
Oh, no.
Is it serious? They took out half his stomach.
You should see him.
Remember how robust? Like Hamlet's ghost, he looks.
About the analysis, Myron.
I gotta get out of here before I choke myself laughing.
We work, we toil.
What for? You struggle to become a private detective, I spend those years in prison studying for a new career here.
What for? Your time comes and it's goodbye Charlie.
I hope we're speaking figuratively and not about Charlie Budreau.
He was one of my best friends on the inside.
Him, I don't know about.
God willing, he's okay.
How about the handwriting analysis, Myron? Are we about to see the light at the end of the tunnel? (WHIRRING) I cannot stand behind this.
I can make no guarantees here.
All right.
Remembering now, this is subject to question.
We're a little lucky, he used a number two pencil.
You got your deep hard strokes here.
This is a man with a strong, vivid personality, reacts deeply and strongly to life.
See your M's and your N's here, these little points.
He's probably very intelligent.
Probably? My son should be so smart.
These loops on the O's and the A's, the closed parts of the G.
I would say, in general, we're talking about a very defensive person here, smart, feels the world owes him a living, maybe.
Some deep emotional scars and conflicts.
He could lie like a rug, this one, then go off jaunty-jolly.
He could do anything.
He has little love for his fellow man, i.
e.
The rest of us.
How he got this way, I don't know, and I could care less.
He's very intelligent, though, very intelligent.
This and his lack of remorse, I would say he'd make a great con man or worse.
That's it? I cannot stand behind it.
Oh, also, I would say he's somewhat depressed.
Look, these days, who isn't? I wasn't.
Okay, pal, get away from that door.
Hey, hey, you don't understand.
Relax, creepo, and this'll go smoother than banana daiquiris.
Get skitzy and you own that's a guarantee.
Out in the hall, come on.
(EXCLAIMS) (GROANS) Bye, Bonny.
I'll see you at group on Tuesday? Okay.
Are you all right, Megan? I mean, I know you're not supposed to ask a shrink, but you seem Well, as a matter of fact, I'm not having one of my better weeks.
Thanks for asking.
Well, who do you tell? I mean, who do you go to when you get depressed like I do? Lonely, scared? Bye, Bonny.
I'll see you next week.
All right.
(EXCLAIMS) Mr.
Martell? Oh, no.
(SIRENS WAILING) WOMAN ON PA: Dr.
Phil Costello, wanted in CCU stat.
Dr.
Costello, CCU stat.
Emergency in three, emergency in three.
I know the doctor said it's bad, and it is, but Charlie, he's built like the Graf Spee.
This is not the first time he's been cut up.
Also, Megan, this is in no way your fault, you know.
I mean, it doesn't make much sense to us, but this kind of stuff is Charlie's chosen business.
He was paid, he figured the risks, he took them.
He's a professional.
Right.
Us professionals.
We all know how much that means.
Well, it ain't chopped liver.
Jim, my professional ethics cost him his spleen, heart stoppage, and possible brain damage.
Well.
Well, I just got the swell news.
The Martell Show has been closed until further notice.
I won't even be able to talk to him.
Megan Dougherty, that burst of police compassion was delivered by Lieutenant Dennis Becker, my good friend and actually a very sweet person when he's not under so much pressure, and Officer Billings.
Doctor.
How do you do? Hello.
I'm sorry.
Disappointed, you know.
I was hoping that Martell could identify the man that attacked him and we'd be able to nail this guy who's been giving you such a rotten time.
Now it looks like Martell may never be able to Coffee anybody? Megan? Doctor Dougherty, I guess you know what this assault means.
A felony has been committed, the stakes are higher now.
So I'm strongly urging that you provide us with information on your patients.
I know what you're saying, Lieutenant.
I Do I take this as an assent, an agreement? No.
She has professional responsibilities she can't compromise.
Hey, excuse me? Am I hearing this right? Two days you been calling me, carping to me about her attitude.
Now you do a complete 180? Well, you want to call me and carp about her attitude, I'd be very understanding.
But I've been giving it some thought, and I think there's a better way to go.
MEGAN: Lieutenant, I don't even think your way would be effective.
In the first place, I find it hard to believe it is one of my patients.
I don't deal with psychotics in my kind of clinical setting.
That's far from guarantee.
Right.
So if it is one of my patients, then obviously I've misread him.
I wouldn't know where to begin to share the information with you since mine's pretty bad.
You don't understand, Doctor.
It's not really sharing.
You give us the whole list and first we see if anybody has a record for this kind of thing.
That way we could move this way or that.
No, I couldn't allow that.
Look, so what if somebody does have a police record? That doesn't prove anything.
In the meantime, you'll be prying into the lives of all of my patients, people who come to me in confidence.
If Megan were a booking agent for bands, you wouldn't be asking for a list of her clients.
You are discriminating against these people merely because they have psychiatric problems.
He's right, that's true.
Come on, fellas.
It's limping badly.
Yeah, all right, Dennis, all right.
I'll make a deal with you.
Just give me one day.
That's it.
I have a handwriting profile.
I'll run it by Megan, and if the profile fits one or two of her patients or someone she knows, maybe she'll tell me and I'll investigate very discreetly.
Doctor? Okay.
I'd agree to that.
I'd discuss one or two of my patients in that sort of limited way with only one person, if the profile fit.
Then I'll investigate.
Hey, Dennis, if one of them happens to be really rank, I'll turn it right back to you.
Boy, I don't know.
The brass, if they knew about this Look at it this way, Lieutenant, it's only a day, and maybe it'll never come up.
Maybe Martell will regain consciousness and describe this fella to Doctor Dougherty here and that's it.
We go and throw the cuffs on him.
True, we could get lucky with Martell.
Fellas.
Listen, I had this cousin with this brain damage and all that.
A week later he's walking around just fine.
Doctors just try to prepare you for the worst.
Yeah, fellas.
If Charlie makes it, that's great, you know, but he will not be identifying anyone for Doctor Dougherty.
(CLEARS THROAT) Yes, we were thinking, you know, sometimes it It's all right.
Believe me, it happens all the time.
So what do you think, Lieutenant? Well, you got one day, Jimbo.
Just one day.
It's nice to meet you, Doctor.
BECKER: Billings, may I have a word with you? Now listen to me.
Billings, can't you ever learn to keep your mouth shut? WOMAN ON PA: Nurse St.
Clair, report to x-ray.
Well, for everything under heaven there is a purpose, even guilt.
Listen, you just helped me out of one of the biggest jams ever.
I can't believe what you just did.
Henry Clay, the Great Compromiser.
No.
You make deals, you don't compromise.
You don't compromise anything.
You okay? Yeah.
No.
Just tired, sad.
Oh, no, I've seen you tired and sad before.
This is something else.
Come on, what is it? Here.
It's stupid.
Well, let me be the judge of that.
Well, there's nothing that can be done about it, so it's a waste of time.
It's just that I used to have this convertible when I was in college.
And when things got too nervous-making, and when I felt really wired or depressed, I'd take that car out on the interstate and I'd put it to the floor.
Turn the rock 'n' roll way up.
The wind would be knocking the hell out of my hair, and it felt great.
There was no walls.
Walls? You see, if you're blind, walls are it, they're the world.
They're your enemy and your friend.
So you've gotta be careful of them.
You hit into them, you never quite know where they are.
But if they're not there, if you can't mentally place yourself in relation to some wall somewhere, if you can't touch one sometime, it's like you're standing on this endless plane and it's all gray.
Boy, riding in that car, no walls.
(ENGINE REVVING) (LAUGHING) Your cousin would die if he could hear you doing this to his car.
Oh, forget my cousin.
He does it to it all the time.
He's done a few things to me in his day.
Point is, it's yours till you say when.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING) Well, is that close enough to the original? Or shall we go back and start all over again? Is that a yes or a no? Answer quick 'cause I can't breathe.
And I I know it's a little odd, but we didn't have any lunch, do you realize that? Would you like to go get something to eat? Anything you say.
All right, and then we can get back to business.
We can look over Katzin's handwriting profile and see if it fits any of your patients, huh? Anything you say.
Oh, well, in that case, we'll just do this for a few more minutes, and then we'll get something to eat.
And? Hmm? You were talking about Jimmy.
Oh, I was just saying what a good living he makes at being a detective, you know.
I can't knock it that way, the job, I mean.
There is one thing, though.
I wish he'd have some children.
(CHUCKLING) I wouldn't mind being a grandfather.
Well, what do you want to do this afternoon, huh? Do? I thought you were going fishing? Oh, I go fishing all the time.
That's all I do do is go fishing.
Yeah, but Jimmy said there was some big Cove championship out on the pier you were really looking forward to.
Oh, I win that all the time, too.
Every year.
I've won that so many times that it's getting boring to me.
The same old talk, same old fish.
(CHUCKLES) Mr.
Rockford.
Huh? I'll be okay here by myself.
Oh, heck, I know you will, I know you will.
No, really.
I will.
I mean it.
Say, say, maybe you'd like to come out on the pier fishing with me to keep me company.
We could We could talk.
We could talk about old Jimmy, huh? No.
I might go out and get some sun later on, but I've got some work to do.
You've shown me around.
I can take it from here.
Well, I know you can.
You know, if I'm going to be staying here for a while, it's better if I get used to it on my own.
Honest.
Please, go fishing like you want to.
All right.
If I break anything, I'll pay for it.
Oh, I wasn't meaning that at all.
I (LAUGHS) You're joking me, aren't you? Yeah, you got a sense of humor like old Jimmy's, peculiar.
You know, you and Jim are a lot alike.
Thank you.
That's flattering.
I mean it.
I'll be fine.
I'm sure you will.
Mr.
Rockford.
Huh? Thanks for showing me around.
It was my pleasure.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
(DOOR CLOSING) Hi.
I'm Sammy Seal, and you kids are gonna flip when you see the neat frogman offer inside each family-sized box of Nature's Children whole wheat and grain cereal.
Hold it, el teléfono.
It's "the neat demolition frogman offer.
" Do we need that? Demolition with Nature's Children? I'm having trouble making the transition.
I can't find a motivation.
How's the 250 for the day for motivation, huh? Now can we go? Please? Roll tape.
Hi, I'm Sammy Seal, and you kids are gonna flip when you see the neat demolition frogman offer inside each family-sized box of Nature's Children whole wheat and grain cereal.
They swim just like real frogmen.
Powered by baking soda, add your own Pacific Ocean and great Hold it.
Cut.
Cut.
All right.
All right, we are privileged to have with us today a shop steward from the Actors Guild on an unannounced spot check.
Now he informs me that it is lunch time and we are into a meal penalty.
Now, you gonna hold us to that? Oh, surely you jest.
Lunch.
Everybody back at 1:00.
Hey.
I never heard of these spot checks before, but I applaud it.
I mean, these arrogant sons of Hey, I'm not really with the guild.
That was just my little joke.
Well, I don't know what your game is, sport, but I'll leave you to it.
I gotta call my agent.
He's got a solid part for me Yeah, well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, Roger, I'm gonna make it easy for you.
I'm gonna make it very, very reasonable for you to buy my silence.
Huh? Yeah, well, you see, the thing is that I was in the medical arts building.
I was coming out of my dentist's office and I saw you running like a rat in training out of that head doctor's office across the hall.
Right when that guy got stabbed in there.
I got your license number.
I didn't have anything to do with that.
Ah, but you know about it.
Look, my appointment with Doctor Dougherty was at 2:00.
When I got there, there were cops all over the place, and whoever it was that stabbed that guy was gone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
Look, tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna make a deal with you.
Fifty bucks, huh? I mean, these dental bills are eating me alive, and if I can just make it through tomorrow's filling, you know, I'm a happy man.
Forty bucks.
Hey, come on, 40 bucks, it's nothing.
I mean, you spend that much on a haircut.
Take a hike.
I was not there.
You don't get penny one from me.
Think about it.
Think about it, Roger.
Look, Jerome, I do not understand this because I was not there physically on that floor.
In fact, I was in the coffee shop downstairs having lunch before my appointment when all that happened.
Forty dollars against four-to-seven in Folsom.
It seems like a false economy, but, hey, it's your life.
Uh-uh.
You are totally wrong.
I was having a BLT.
The waitress will remember.
In fact, she'll remember because as I was eating, I remarked about this guy that went by, told her what a road apple the guy was, and she laughed at what I said.
Yeah, what guy? Some guy I know.
Another of Doctor Dougherty's patients.
He used to be in a group with some of us, but he couldn't hack it.
She's got him in private therapy now.
His name's Danny Green? Boy, that just doesn't fit.
Yeah, well, why doesn't it fit? Well, he's the last person I'd have picked to be behind something like that.
He's a depressed, meek man with a low self-image.
Nothing really special.
He's chronically unemployed, has difficulty relating to women, feels intimidated, problems with his mother that go way back.
When's his appointment? Oh, Mondays, 3:00.
Then he had no reason to be in the building, and he was.
Yeah, but I just couldn't have assessed Danny so wrong after a year and a half of therapy.
Well, maybe you did.
It's okay.
You're allowed three mistakes in any one career.
Uh-oh.
I guess we just hit on the one subject that isn't funny.
Can you get me Danny Green's address? Oh, man, I hate this.
I'll go easy.
He'll never know he's being investigated.
Oh.
I'll talk to my accountant.
He can get it from Danny's checks.
That's how he pays.
Mr.
Green? Mr.
Green? What are you doing? Oh, Jack Tetuska? That's right.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I knocked on the door there, and the door just swung on open, so I came in.
Yeah, I was in the laundry room.
What do you want? Oh, James Sloan, IRS.
I was looking for Daniel Green.
There's no one here by that name.
Really? Well, now, our records show there's a Daniel Green living at this address.
It's Yeah.
11558, Riverside Drive, Apartment 105.
(CHUCKLING) Believe it or not, it's good news this time.
Yeah, you see, our computer made an error in Mr.
Green's favor.
Yeah, he could qualify for a sizeable refund if the answers to a few simple questions check out, you know.
Hmm.
Well, I don't understand this mix-up.
I've lived here for two years, alone.
Really? Well, is there a Green elsewhere in the building? No, there isn't.
I'm telling you, our computer, looks like it's in a lot of trouble.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm really sorry I bothered you.
Hostile, suspicious, defensive.
Well, it doesn't sound like the Danny Green I know, not at all.
I had the strangest feeling.
It was oppressive.
Well, hopefully we'll know in a few minutes if we're getting two nuts for the price of one.
Another one? Another what? Oh, beer.
Here.
Sorry.
It's okay.
Yeah.
(CHUCKLES) Well? You ready to earn your 20 bucks? Can I have a confab with you for a minute in here? Yeah.
Oh, excuse me, honey.
Mmm-hmm.
All right, what's the problem? It's a simple phone call.
I'd do it myself, but he'd recognize my voice.
What's the real deal here? Who are the big fish that are about to be fried? What are you babbling about? Well, I just got here, but you know old Angel, I can always smell the grand green.
You can start by telling little Margarite she can drop the blind act.
I ain't gonna snitch on her.
What is the matter with you? She is blind.
She had an accident Now you get back (LAUGHING) Jimmy, Jimmy.
I know the moves, I know how it's done, son.
I did two months as Blind Lemon Martin on Market Street up in Frisco, Dobro guitar and a harmonica rack.
Sad, like in miserable.
You know how bad I play, but I did 1,500 bucks worth of quarters in a month.
(WHISPERING) The sympathy factor.
If we could see a pictorial representation of your mind, it would look like a fire drill in a state asylum.
Yeah, well, anyway, I know she's a classy lady, got a body by Pininfarina and all that, and it ain't no low grade scam like mine.
So what is it? Does she front for any charity? Goes around to all these big corporations and you come along as the packager of the telethon.
I love it! Love it! Yeah! Let me in on it, Jimmy.
I could be the research doctor.
I'll take a painless 2%.
You'll get in for what I give you.
Now get in there.
Sit in that chair right over there.
Is everything okay, Jimmy? Oh, yeah, just a little conference with the lemon here.
There's the phone, there's the number.
Here, Megan.
You can use this phone.
I'll use the one in the bedroom.
Here.
There you are.
Now hold this.
Go ahead.
(PHONE RINGING) Hello? Mr.
Tetuska? That's right.
Hi.
I'm Earl Wangram, and I'm the new bookkeeper for the Windrift Condominium Owners Association.
And I'm looking over the last two months' ledger here and I see that your account is in arrears.
I sent that thing in on the 30th.
It's one of the first bills I pay! Oh, well, I don't know how to explain that.
Yeah, well, that's your problem, and I'll tell you something else.
The association should think less about the dues and more about the condition of this place.
I nearly got electrocuted in the sauna this morning.
You ought to get somebody down here to fix that.
I'll see what I can (DOOR OPENS) Hello? Are you there? Hello? Hello? Hey, are you still there? Hello? Hi, Rocky.
Well? It's his voice.
It's Danny Green.
Hey, what's going on here, anyway? Look, if this is right, and I'm not convinced it is, it'd mean a major error in my diagnosis.
It'd mean Danny Green's a multiple personality.
You mean a split? Schizo? No.
It's something else.
It's much rarer.
It's two distinct personalities.
Two distinct people in one body.
Green and Tetuska are separate entities? I've heard of that kind of thing before.
Who is Tetuska? This is awful.
It's a very serious, very deep-seated personality disturbance.
It'd put Danny in a whole other category, a very poor, sick man.
The thing that first alarmed me was the condo he's living in.
That's good for at least $1,000 a month.
What do you mean? Well, it's the way he earns it that's important.
I didn't want to tell you this until we were positive that your Danny Green and Tetuska were one and the same person.
But the name J.
Tetuska rang a bell with me, and his demeanor sold me even more.
So I did a little research and refreshed my memory.
Jimmy, what about the money for the phone? J.
Tetuska is Jack Tetuska.
He's a kind of shadowy underworld figure.
Jackie Tetuska.
I know him.
He's a paid assassin, a professional contract killer.
What? Do you remember, about a month ago, the papers carried a story about a gangland murder of a lawyer named Mishkin? You remember that? Well, the police had linked Tetuska to that hit.
The fact is they brought him in for questioning and then released him.
Now Mishkin's girlfriend is an eyewitness to that killing and can supposedly pin Tetuska.
But she went into hiding, the police had a sweep out for her.
Danny Green? A professional killer? Oh, come on, this can't be happening.
I'm sorry, honey, but it is.
Well, Angel, you must remember something about the Mishkin hit.
RAINIER: Understand something, Doctor Dougherty, even though I'm the police psychologist, I'll be in there mostly to observe while Tetuska is questioned.
The man is your patient.
You should carry the ball.
Yeah, well, feel free to jump in anytime, Doctor Rainier.
I'm not terribly familiar with multiple personalities.
(CHUCKLES) Who is? There haven't been that many cases documented.
I know.
That's one reason I'm so dubious about the whole thing.
Well, I'm not really dubious, just Oh, there.
Great.
Finally someone isn't dubious.
You see, Doctor Rainier, I've been hearing dubious from her all day.
Jim, he's my patient.
I've seen him in a therapeutic setting for almost a year and a half.
He was with me in the clinic before I opened up my private practice.
Now, if you think I'm going to jump out of my seat over something as unlikely as a multiple personality Well, I don't hear any other explanation for one patient with two completely different shtick Layman's terms, I'm sorry.
Well, there have been some famous cases documented.
Three Faces of Eve, that was based on an actual case.
And, of course, Sybil, there you had (DOOR OPENING) Excuse me, Lieutenant's waiting for you.
(LIGHTER STRIKES) Well, you ready? Ready as I'll ever be.
Well, let's go.
BECKER: Mr.
Tetuska, this is Doctor Rainier.
Mr.
Rockford I believe you met.
Doctor Dougherty, well, perhaps you've met her, that's not for me to say.
Hello, Mr.
Tetuska.
Am I under arrest here for something or what? If I'm not, say so, I'm gone.
No, you're not under arrest, and you know it.
I'm a little confused, 'cause it was made clear to me that if I didn't come down here today, my life could get very complicated.
He's talking about the threat of harassment, Lieutenant, and I concur.
Now, he's agreed to cooperate.
That's nice, but so far, he hasn't started.
Well, what do you want me to do? I'm here.
I don't understand it, but I'm here.
Now, either light up or leave me alone.
Mr.
Tetuska, do you remember me? No.
I met you through Danny Green.
It was about two years ago.
Green, again.
I don't know no Danny Green.
I know a guy from the IRS, though.
Sloan was his name.
He broke into my apartment, except, I guess, the police don't care about that.
What do you know about the stabbing of Charles Martell? Who? Where were you this past Tuesday between the hours of 12:00 and 1:30? I was having lunch.
I had peaches and cottage cheese.
That couldn't have taken too long.
Then what? I ate the peaches.
I felt a little cooped up, so I went down to Temescal Park.
I laid out in the grass, caught a few rays.
And then? Took a nap.
Yeah, I Z'ed out down there.
What time did you wake up? About 6:00.
That's a long nap.
Where did you wake up? Where do you think I woke up? You think I fell asleep on the 92 bus? I woke up in Temescal Park.
I woke up on Maybe you woke up somewhere else? What is this? What do they want from me, Mort? What are you gonna do about this? I suggest we leave.
You have that option.
How did you feel when you woke up? Who remembers? Let's go, Mort.
I don't know anything about the stabbing of this whoever.
Yeah, right, and two weeks ago you didn't know anything about the shooting of Barry Allan Mishkin.
Always a lot of talking.
Never any filing of charges.
Oh, we're gonna file on that, Jack.
Your contacts have probably told you that the FBI has a line on Mishkin's girl, and when they pick her up, they're going to put her at the scene and she's going to testify that you killed him.
Find the girl, then talk to me.
MEGAN: Mr.
Tetuska, how's Mickey Miller? Have you heard from him recently? Who? It's a little boy I know.
I know him through my friend, Danny Green.
They both lived on Avenue B in New York when they were four, five years old.
I thought you might know Mickey Miller, too.
No.
No, I don't think so.
My friend Danny Green was very fond of Mickey Miller.
They were best friends.
Yeah.
I know what you're thinking, but I don't have one.
One what? A brain tumor.
You're trying to make me like I have a brain tumor, that there's something very sick in my brain, but you're wrong.
I'm not implying you have a brain tumor.
That's not what I meant at all.
Yes, you are.
That's what you all think, that I have a brain tumor.
I read up on them.
Okay, I get fainting spells, (STUTTERING) I black out from time to time.
You wake up, you don't know where you are? You don't know where you've been? It only happens from time to time.
It only happens once in a while.
It's It's nutrition, that's all.
(STAMMERING) It's my diet.
But I do not have a brain tumor, and I am not a mental.
I may be a lot of things, but I am not crazy! I know what you're trying to do.
You're trying to discredit me with my business contacts.
You're trying to make my associates think that I'm sick, that I've lost my mind.
But it won't work, because I am sane.
You better believe I am sane! Let's go, Mort.
I don't have to stand for this.
Wow.
A true multiple personality.
I'd have to agree with that.
He knows nothing of Danny Green or what Danny's been doing to Doctor Dougherty.
You could see the disorientation the questioning caused.
I just wish we could've convinced him to stay a little longer.
Yeah, like seven to ten years.
Okay, he didn't crack.
Where does that leave Megan, Dennis? Is it true? Is the FBI closing in on Mishkin's girlfriend? Is Tetuska gonna be out of circulation because of that? The FBI feels like they have a solid line.
When is that arrest gonna happen? Well, there's no guarantee of anything, but I spoke to Brian Tillis at the FBI, and he tells me two or three days, they'll turn Mishkin's girl.
Two or three days? Yeah, well, I know right now it seems like a long time.
(SPORTS COMMENTATOR CHATTERING ON TV) (COMMENTATOR 1 CHATTERING ON TV) So, it's third.
Still goal to goal on the nine.
Ow.
Hey, could you use a little help in there? Bottle of wine in the refrigerator if you wouldn't mind opening it.
Sure.
You could say something about the smoking.
I know you're dying to.
Yeah, but I didn't.
You want me to go put on my boxing gloves or you just wanna keep working on the heavy bag? Look, I'll get right to it, Megan.
I haven't been watching the game in there.
I've been thinking, and I'm not sure I buy it, the multiple personality thing.
What? Well, I may be wrong, but I'll pose the same question to you that I posed to myself, huh? Now let's just suppose that you're a professional killer, cunning, deadly, tops in your field.
You're a total professional.
Another one of us.
Yeah, that's right, another one of us.
Now, let's also say that you're extremely intelligent, which, by the way, he is.
So you know that no matter how careful you are, how good you are, how thorough you are, that one of these days, one of your jobs is gonna backfire on you.
You're gonna make a mistake just like everybody else.
Just like me, for example.
I thought Danny was just depressed and neurotic.
Yeah, well, let's hold the sarcasm till I finish talking, huh? Now that you realize you can make a mistake, what you need is a fallback cop out, and that's a plea that you can pull out of your sleeve anytime just to cover the worst catastrophe.
Talking about the Mishkin killing? Right.
Right.
Murder one, dead to rights, with no chance of acquittal if they find that eyewitness.
So, what is a surefire parachute, huh? Not guilty by reason of insanity.
So what do you do? You think and you ponder, and you think and you ponder and you come up with a plan that is so foolproof, it makes you laugh.
You devise a second personality and visit a shrink.
You make it real, you make it good, but you're there every week.
It's an hour for 50 bucks.
That's cheap insurance.
You gonna open up this wine some time tonight? Look, you create a whole new life for this guy, a whole set of symptoms for him, and then when you need it, you discreetly lead the police to the existence of this other guy.
Then when the cops confront you with it, you say, "Oh, my goodness, I'm so confused, I must be crazy.
" For the love of Hey, it's absolutely foolproof, Megan.
You have invested years as Danny Green.
Your shrink is gonna testify for you.
It's a great scam.
You're gonna hook three out of four court psychiatrists and four out of four juries.
Instead of death row, you're gonna get a trip to the lollipop factory.
And if you pull off a miracle cure, you're out in six months.
Now, come on, is it possible, psychologically? (SIGHS) Yes and no.
A true pathological personality with no remorse might be able to lie well enough to bring it off.
Pathological liars have done incredible things.
But Well, who is more the pathological personality than a paid killer? Yeah, I can't believe this.
All day you were harping about his being a multiple personality.
I disagreed.
Now, I and another trained psychologist consider him a multiple personality, and you, all of a sudden, you've changed your mind.
Look, if he is doing what you're saying, we would've seen some indication of it today.
Why would he wait? What your whole problem is with this thing is you have never worked a con.
You see, in a con you just don't dump out all the information for the mark.
You make him come and get it while you look like you're holding something back.
That way the mark does all the work.
He thinks he's the smart one.
That's when he's hooked.
So what you're telling me is I've been had.
Not once, but twice.
Megan, that is the absolute least of your problems right now.
Problem number one is Tetuska.
He's gonna let his con unfold with seeming naturalness, just the way it started.
He's gonna come at you in a burst of fury as Danny Green, and he's gonna let the police catch him and then do the old, "Where am I?" bit.
Any court in the country will stamp him as a ranking banana and send him off on a valium holiday.
That will be the end of his Mishkin problem.
I don't accept it.
Well, that's nice.
Now you've got a bigger mess to clean up.
You'll have to do it.
Like hell.
Look, you wanted me, you got me.
This is the reality.
Knocking over dishes, banging into furniture, victim to just about everything.
All right, honey.
Don't! How do you like it? It's a whole other look.
And you better get used to it if you want to stick around here, because this is reality.
Enough anger to kill, and it never goes away! Ever! Is this some kind of ugly secret, Megan, that you're an angry person, huh? Hey, come on, you've been through more than most people could ever handle.
You're allowed.
Don't you pull that stuff on me.
Stuff? Oh, boy, that is rich coming from you.
Look, honey, you're scared out of your head, and you got a right to be.
That's why you're acting this way.
I told you, don't play psychologist with me.
I'm not playing, honey, not at this point.
You're scared to death, (STUTTERING) And you've got your pride all mixed up in the thing, too.
This compensation thing you have about having to be perfect.
What is this, some kind of a sick joke? Me? Perfect? Look, the big debate around here every morning is whether to get up just one more day.
But you do, and then you do even more, much more than most.
I'm sorry, I just don't understand.
I don't understand why that's not good enough for you.
Well, finally, we've discovered some facet of human behavior you don't understand.
How are you gonna deal with him, Megan? He's my patient.
He's seriously ill.
I'll get through to him.
It's my job.
You're wrong.
Would you please go? (THUNDER CRASHING) (CLOCK TICKING) (TICKING) (BANG ON DOOR) (SCREAMS) Sorry, if there's anybody there.
(SINGING) My apologies to you My apologies to you My apologies, dear apartment dweller My apologies to you (THUNDER CRASHING) (TRAFFIC BUSTLING) (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Morning, Doctor Dougherty.
Danny? You look awful pretty this morning.
(MUFFLED CRY) My idea was that you'd like someplace more private.
So, anyway, I got this place all opened up and ready for us this morning.
Please, please, please, Danny, don't hurt me.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
(STUTTERING) I don't want to hurt you.
I don't know that I'd want to do that.
(ALARM RINGING) Women are always getting hurt.
Maybe they like it that way.
But me, I'm different.
I like the sound your clothes make when they move against your body.
Hey, Billings, she in the office okay? She didn't get here yet.
She got on the elevator at least a minute and a half ago.
The empty car.
Is something wrong? Yeah, she's in trouble, Dennis.
Which way did that car go, up or down? I didn't notice.
All right, he'll probably take her to an empty floor, either the basement or the sub-roof.
We'll go down, you go up.
It took me all night to convince her to try this.
Don't worry.
Everything will be all right.
(MACHINES BUZZING) (MEGAN SOBBING) No! You're just making me more nervous.
Please, please, don't hurt me.
You don't have to.
The police are following me.
They're going to catch you anyway.
You don't need to hurt me.
What do you mean the police? What do you mean the police are following? What do you mean, "catch me anyway"? You did it deliberately.
You pushed the alarm button so someone would catch you.
I don't believe you're two people.
What are you talking about? You pushed the button on purpose! Please, you don't have to do anything to me.
It wouldn't make sense.
The alarm button was an accident.
You came to me.
It was all a con.
You chose it! You chose to come to a therapist.
That's the con you chose, Danny.
You need help.
You're sick inside and you know it.
(GUN COCKS) Tetuska! Megan! I'm all right, Jim! Be careful! Tetuska! (ROCKFORD GROANS) (BOTH GRUNTING) (GRUNTING) (BOTH GRUNTING) Megan! Jim! Megan! I'm over here! Megan! Jim! Oh, Megan, Megan, all right, all right.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all right.
Are you okay? Okay.
I'm dizzy.
Are you okay? No.
I'm sure not complaining.
Oh, this is rich.
What are you talking about? Charles Martell.
You gonna believe this? He's returning his fee.
He told me in the hospital he didn't think he was entitled to it.
I told him to get it out of his head.
Yeah, well, he didn't.
He says, "Jimmy, the way I see it, "I blew it with the broad and the service was not performed to par.
(IMITATING CHARLIE) "So, herewith, this I am returning.
" (IMITATING CHARLIE) Yeah, well, the broad, herewith, is gonna staple that check to his shirt.
Could I bum a cigarette? Don't have any.
They went down your garbage disposal last night, for good.
Naturally.
You're just jealous because you know I'll be able to stay off them.
You're right.
I'm jealous.
I'll get you some.
No, no, forget it.
I notice that you're finding your way around very easily.
You seem Very much at home? Yeah, I couldn't have said it better myself.
You're right.
I am.
How do you feel about that? Oh, I like it.
I like it a lot.
But you had to think about it.
Oh, no, I didn't.
You know what I think? Hmm? I think, in a way, you like it that I can't see you.
I think it makes it easier for you to say what you feel.
I bet if I could see your face right now, I'd find some red in it.
Is that right? Mmm-hmm.
As somebody once told me, and at very high volume, too.
Don't play psychologist with me.
You know what's going to happen, don't you? Hmm? Like you said in the restaurant, I'm going to be the warden.
I'm going to be coming to get you.
Oh, yeah? Well, you just keep coming.
I'll probably go quietly.