The Romanoffs (2018) s01e05 Episode Script

1 ("REFUGEE" BY TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS PLAYING) We got somethin', we both know it We don't talk too much about it Ain't no real big secret All the same, somehow we get around it Listen It don't really matter to me, baby You believe what you want to believe You see, you don't have to live like a refugee Don't have to live like a refugee Oh! (MUSIC FROM TCHAIKOVSKY'S SWAN LAKE PLAYING ON PIANO) Oh.
Take a bow.
(CHUCKLES) Our next performer, Henry.
(APPLAUSE) What are you playing? Uh, "Piano Concerto Number One, First Movement" by Tchaikovsky.
- (EXHALES) - (WHOOPING AND CHEERING) Take a bow.
(TAKES DEEP BREATH) Well, thank God I don't have to say anything.
The music has said it all.
And I know everyone has a horse in this race, but I cannot believe that the months of practice, practice, practice have turned into this afternoon of pure you know what, I'm just gonna say it - magic.
- (LIGHT LAUGHTER) But it's not magic.
It's a lot of focus, a lot of mistakes, - a lot of nagging.
- (LAUGHTER) And then, wow.
Let's hear it for our kids.
All of them because, believe me, it ain't easy to do what they just did.
And Katherine and Alex? Thank you for lending your beautiful home.
You are gracious and generous, as always.
(WOMAN WHOOPS) And now, as I always say and I was the first person to say this let them eat cake.
(LAUGHTER) No! Everybody, freeze.
Freeze.
I know that we're all very proud of our children, but the real star of this afternoon is David Patton.
You have really whipped these kids into shape.
Jayden.
(CLICKS TONGUE) There's a card.
- Aw.
- Read it.
(LAUGHING): Absolutely not.
- (LAUGHTER) - "Dear David, You are the key that has unlocked the mystery of talent.
" CROWD: Aw.
- I worked on that.
- (LAUGHTER) - Isn't he awesome? - (CHEERING) I'm very touched.
Thank you.
Oh, can I help? No.
I actually love this.
Uh, one of the great things about this house - is cleaning it up.
- (CHUCKLES) David, you're still here.
- Someone was blocking my car.
- Oh.
Do you want to take home some tiramisu? Can't have it in the house.
Well, I'll save it.
- It's Benji's favorite.
- So sophisticated.
When I was ten, I would've thought that tiramisu was Jar Jar Binks crying.
(IMITATING JAR JAR BINKS): Teera-mee-su.
- (LAUGHS) - Honey, those are clean.
Oh.
Can we talk about Henry? He has really come along.
Right? And he really loves it.
I never thought he would've played in front of a crowd like that.
You know, that was my show piece at Juilliard.
I played it for Elton John.
(CHUCKLES) I have a picture of it somewhere.
He said I should "prepare to be misunderstood.
" Supposedly what Paul McCartney said to him.
(DAVID CHUCKLES) Like to see that picture.
I'll find it.
You sure you don't want some? No.
Really.
Oh! Let me get the checkbook.
I totally forgot.
I didn't want to ask.
So, Alex, a friend of mine just ate lunch at the Google campus.
Is that what they call it? Yeah.
He said it was like Disneyland for nerds.
- (CHUCKLES) - Although I guess Disneyland - is Disneyland for nerds.
- (QUIETLY): Yeah.
Have you been? Yup.
Done with that? One second.
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
(QUIET, INDISTINCT CHATTER) You looking for me? Would it be okay if I spoke to you now? I know office hours are tomorrow, but I have a conflict.
Sure.
What class are you in? Tolstoy and Dostoevsky.
And what's your name? Mia Zhang.
Mmm.
I don't understand what I did wrong.
The ideas are straight from your lectures.
I even found your book, which is out of print.
Hence the word "derivative.
" This is calculated.
I will reward you for thinking, not just for thinking like me.
(CHUCKLES) That was a lot of work.
I've never gotten a "C" before.
I'm sure you're very smart.
But you picked the first sentence from the book.
I could ask a bus driver about Tolstoy, and they'd know that line.
So I got a "C" because I think like a bus driver? I thought a female professor would bring a different perspective.
Mia, what I was basically saying is that having an education You know what? You're right.
That comment was snobby.
Indefensible.
But I would've gladly accepted a political analysis of why you think Anna Karenina which was so threatening at the time it was published that women were banned from reading it has no value because it was written by a man.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) I'm sorry to interrupt.
I'm looking for Katherine Ford.
That's me.
Uh, I can wait if you're busy.
I'm sorry.
Who are you? I can wait.
- Is something wrong? - It's not an emergency.
Take another shot.
Bring it back in a week.
Okay.
Thank you.
May I? Oh.
What's going on? Well, first of all, my name is Detective Gutierrez.
I'm with the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department.
I see that.
Special Victims Bureau? May I? Please.
Sorry to bother you at work.
We really don't like to do that, but we did try calling your home a few times.
No one answers that.
What's going on? Does a Mr.
David Patton still work for you - teaching piano? - Yes.
And you have three sons who are his students? One of them's in college now.
And how long have you known him? Can I ask you what this is about? This is just an investigation at this point.
For what? Well, he's had a complaint filed against him.
This is completely confidential.
You do understand that? Yes.
What did he do? We don't know.
It's just an investigation.
For what? For misconduct with a minor.
(SIGHING): Jesus Christ.
Again, this is a preliminary investigation at this point.
But we are trying to determine if there was ever any kind of inappropriate behavior.
I, um "Inappropriate.
" What exactly does that mean? Misconduct.
I really can't discuss specifics because he hasn't been charged.
Okay.
(CLEARS THROAT) Now, how long have you known him? Ten years.
Maybe a little less.
- And he's been in your employ the whole time? - Yes.
And have there ever been any problems with him? No, of course not.
That's good.
But we would like to talk to your children.
Oh, God.
But, of course, at this stage, if you would rather talk to them yourself, we'd understand.
Well, I'd definitely prefer that you talk with them.
Right? Okay.
You can call the number on the card to make an appointment.
Hold on.
Wh wh who made the complaint? I'm sorry, I can't share that.
And you really can't share any of this.
You do understand that? - Does he know? - No.
And we'd prefer that he didn't because, again, no formal charges have been filed.
Wait, wait, w when? When should I make an appointment? Next week if you have time.
My partner will be back then.
- Okay.
Okay.
- (DOOR OPENS) (DOOR CLOSES) Can you pull over? I can't hear you.
I'm in the garage.
Hold on.
- Can you hear me? - Yes.
They want to talk to the boys.
They're investigating him for misconduct with a minor.
Fuck! I knew it.
What do you mean you knew it? Come on, he's a gay music teacher.
It's always worried me.
Really? And you never said anything? Because it's a terrible stereotype, but I'm not surprised.
That's all I can say.
I feel sick.
Sexual misconduct? I assume that.
I didn't ask.
You didn't ask? Well, she just said "inappropriate behavior.
" - What else could it mean? - (KEYS JINGLING) - Who reported him? - (LOCK CLUNKS) They wouldn't tell me that, either.
We got to fire him.
He's not even supposed to know.
It was so weird.
She was so laissez-faire.
She just said don't talk to anybody or to him and that I should make an appointment next week.
It's got to be someone we know.
Otherwise, how would they get our name? I know.
I have to talk to the boys.
I thought they were gonna.
They have a lesson on Tuesday.
I don't know.
Wait for me.
I I'll be home tomorrow.
I can't wait.
Well, what are you gonna say? (SIGHS) I don't know.
Okay.
Call me.
(PHONE BUZZING) Got no love for these bitches Got no love for these niggas They don't fit the description They distorting my friction, my - (PHONE BUZZES) - Distorting my friction My addiction is money - Undeniable habit - (PHONE DINGS) I'm still writing (PHONE BUZZING) - Hey.
- Julian, answer the phone when I call you.
I didn't see it.
Well, I obviously need to talk to you.
I called you three times.
- I'm sorry, Mom.
- Okay.
I know you haven't taken piano in a couple of years, but (SIGHS) well, I have to ask.
Did David Mom? Did David ever do anything inappropriate? What do you mean? You know what I mean.
Did he ever do anything, try anything? It's totally okay to tell me.
What? No, of course not.
Never? Yeah, never.
Okay, so nothing weird ever? Oh, I I mean, he's a weird guy.
- Weird how? - I don't know.
Um, he liked to tell inappropriate jokes.
Really? You never told me that.
I don't know, they're they're jokes.
Like what? I don't know.
Do I have to tell you? Yes, actually, you do.
I don't remember.
Blow jobs and stuff.
Are you kidding me? It was just jokes.
Did he make you uncomfortable? Yeah, because he's not as funny as he thinks he is.
Was there anything else? Did he ever touch you or anything? Why are you asking me this? Believe me, I wouldn't if I didn't have to, okay? Just answer the question.
Did he do something? That's why I'm calling.
Wow.
Okay.
Uh, no, he didn't.
- You're positive? - Yes.
Can we talk about something else? Yeah.
No, sure.
How's Benji? You should call him.
He misses you.
How's school? Uh, it's good, it's good.
Uh, I actually, uh, have a lot of work, and I'm a little behind, so Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Well, I love you.
I love you, too.
Bye.
What was that about? Something about my piano teacher.
(CHUCKLES) You play piano? (TAKES DEEP BREATH) (KNOCKING ON DOOR) HENRY: Yeah? (LAUGHS) That's what you do with the typewriter? It weighs 15 pounds.
(SIGHS) I need to talk to you.
What's wrong? Sit down.
I I was gonna take it down.
Oh, it's fine.
Listen.
I have to ask you something, and you have to be Well, you know you can tell me anything, right? Yeah.
I have to ask you about David, and you have to be honest.
Okay.
Has he ever done anything that made you feel uncomfortable? David? Yeah.
You know, anything inappropriate.
(SCOFFS) What? No.
I want you to think.
You can tell me anything.
What are you talking about? I just have to ask because some questions have been raised.
By who? Henry, I don't know.
Don't act like I'm Like what? Whoever said anything like that about him is lying.
It's total bullshit.
He's, like, the best person I know.
Look, I know this is hard for you because you're really close with him You're gonna fire him, aren't you? No one said that.
You have no idea how hard it is for the people who work for you.
What are you talking about? You fired Monica just because she broke a dish.
(SIGHS) First of all, that wasn't just a dish.
It was from my Romanov grandmother's your great-grandmother's royal tea service.
And Monica got fired because she blamed it on your brother.
Great, so you ruined her life over a teapot because we're from a long line of rich assholes.
She lost her job because she lied.
That's how it works.
Whatever.
Everyone's a servant to you.
Hey! I don't want to fight with you.
You think I wanted to ask you? If your answer is no, that's great.
He's always saying people are prejudiced against him for being gay.
Well, you know that's not the case here.
- Really? - Come on.
You can't blame me for being concerned.
- He has a boyfriend.
- So? So he he has his own life.
He wouldn't do that.
I'm sorry, okay? I had to ask.
You're gonna get bugs in here.
(SIGHS) (SIGHS) (SIGHS) I mean, your old place was nice, but this is really special.
(SIGHS) I just I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know? It's it's too big.
It's too formal.
It just doesn't feel like us.
Well, first of all, the piano's in the wrong place.
It should be over there in that corner.
Alex wanted it here.
Oh, of course.
Look, I know what this is really about.
You think you don't deserve this.
(SCOFFS) Nobody does.
Shh.
I get it.
But you really do.
You're such good people.
And everyone knows how hard you've worked.
We've been really lucky.
Baloney.
I know about luck.
You are meant to be here.
(PLAYING CLASSICAL TUNE) Look at the wood.
The light.
This place has history and character, just like you.
Imagine everyone coming together.
The parties, the recitals.
Henry.
You know he's gifted.
You're all so special.
This room.
This house has been waiting for people like you to fill it.
You really think so? I know it.
It needs you.
Chopin? What would you do without me? (PIANO CONTINUES) (HELICOPTER WHIRRING IN DISTANCE) (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN DISTANCE) Hey, everybody.
(COFFEE MAKER WHIRRING) - There's turkey.
- What? If you want to make a sandwich, or I can make you a sandwich, - there's turkey.
- This is fine.
Have a good day.
You, too.
(DOOR CLOSES) (HELICOPTER WHIRRING IN DISTANCE) (COFFEE MAKER STOPS) You want eggs? No, thank you.
Do you want a ride today? (SIGHS) Benji, listen.
I have to ask you a question.
So I wanted to ask you something about David.
Did David ever do anything I should know about? What do you mean? What do I mean? Did he ever touch you? Like, messing up my hair? No, like, um, I don't know.
He'll push on my back if I'm not sitting up straight.
Like, how? He says I look like a shrimp.
Okay, but, like did he ever do anything else? Say anything, do anything that made you feel uncomfortable? What do you mean, like, something inappropriate? Yes.
Yes.
Did he ever do anything inappropriate? No.
You understand what I'm asking? He never made you feel strange or unsafe? No.
That's weird.
Yeah.
Okay.
It is.
You're right.
You need money for lunch? Okay.
Finish up.
ALEX: Hello.
This is Alex Myers.
(OVER PHONE): I can't come to the phone right now.
(CHURCH BELLS RINGING) AARON: "When your so young and fairy years Are smeared by the gossip's noise " See, it seems like a mistake to us "your so young and fairy years" because we believe it should be "you are so young," or "you're," contracted.
But actually, in the Russian, it's kogda tvoi mladyye leta.
Literally, "your fairy years so young.
" But all translations of poetry, especially Pushkin, lean towards the Shakespearean, the established poetic word order of English.
Please continue.
"When your so young and fairy years "Are smeared by the gossip's noise, "And by the high word's trial, fierce, "Your public honor's fully lost, "Alone midst indifferent crowds, "I share with you your soul's pains, "And just for you my prayers, loud, "Are send to idols, void of sense.
"But the high world His accusations, "How cruel they are, he'd ne'er take back: "He doesn't root out the blind transgressions, "But bids to hide the sinful tracks.
"They're worth of quite the same aversion "His secret and so vain-full love, "And hypocritical damnation: "Try to forget the whole stuff.
"Don't drink the poison, outrageous; "Leave that high circle, bright and close; Leave crazy merriments and pleasures: You still have one good friend of yours.
" Yes, I'm holding for Detective Gutierrez.
I'm calling to make an appointment.
Well, when do you expect her back, please? Well, can I have her voice mail? ALEX: Hello? (SOUND EFFECTS, DRAMATIC MUSIC FROM VIDEO GAME) Hello.
- Hi.
- Hey, Dad.
(VIDEO GAME SOUND EFFECTS AND MUSIC STOP) Missed you guys.
(CHUCKLES) (GRUNTS) - How was San Francisco? - New York.
Did you bring us anything? Anything you can get there, you can get here.
- Uh, do you want me to take your luggage up? - I got it.
Uh, where's Mom? She's upstairs.
Uh, you got to get down.
(VIDEO GAME SOUND EFFECTS AND MUSIC RESUME) So, everything good? Did I miss anything? (VIDEO GAME SOUND EFFECTS AND MUSIC CONTINUE) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) - Hey.
- Hello.
So, was it worth the trip? Not really.
They have an idea, but it's not very well developed.
So what did you say? - I said I loved it.
- (LAUGHS) (EXHALES) So everything's okay? Yeah.
I think so.
I don't know.
Hmm.
They seem normal.
Yeah.
I mean, I feel a little better.
Good.
I can't get a hold of the police to get an appointment.
I don't know if they even still need to talk to them.
Obviously, I think they should.
I don't think the kids would tell the police anything they didn't tell me.
Well, but there's nothing to know, right? I don't know.
Henry was really angry.
Like, defensive? Yeah.
But it makes sense.
I don't know.
He's his friend.
But Julian said David used to tell him dirty jokes.
Like what? It sounded kind of embarrassing more than anything.
He's always trying to be funny, and he's usually just annoying.
I think he's funny.
- Mm.
- But then, you know, your mind goes to terrible places.
Oh, believe me.
I keep thinking about it.
It was horrible.
Benji.
It was so awkward.
And he was really confused by the whole thing.
I just wanted to throw up.
How specific were you? Way more than I wanted to be.
So who reported him? I don't know.
I couldn't get a hold of the officer, and I don't think they're gonna tell me anyway.
What did Cheryl say? I can't tell Cheryl.
- Oh - She'll freak out.
She's probably the one who complained.
No way.
She would have told me.
She would have blamed me.
That's true.
I mean, that kid's her whole life.
She wouldn't leave him alone with anybody.
I have to call her.
Don't.
If she needs to know, they'll tell her.
No, you don't understand.
I recommended him.
I feel responsible.
Responsible for what? If she finds out that I knew about any of this, she'll kill me.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe this.
I know.
I just I wasn't supposed to tell anybody, but I felt like I had to let you know.
This is sickening.
I We don't know anything for sure.
There haven't been any charges.
People are fucking unbelievable.
I know.
It's hard to imagine he could do something that horrible.
Because he wouldn't.
I mean, who the fuck would say that? It just goes to show you that people will say anything.
No.
I mean, yes.
I know.
He's part of our family.
Jayden loves him.
I love him.
God, when William and I split up, I felt so weird being on my own, and David was really there for us.
Do you know I brought him to Hawaii with us? It was one of the best vacations we've ever had.
He's just so exuberant and easygoing and fun-loving.
You know how he is with people.
It's really pure.
I don't believe it for one second.
I trust him completely.
You went on vacation together? Yeah, I mean, I got him his own room, but what's the difference? This is just so unfair, you know? It's just more bad luck, and he's had so much.
What do you mean? Well, you remember when he wanted to open his own music school? No.
You gave him the money for it, didn't you? We never gave him any money.
Well, maybe he just meant all the money that you've given him over the years.
Well, anyways, they were all ready to open when his business partner robbed him and fled the country.
Oh, we never heard about that.
Well, maybe he was just too embarrassed to tell you.
Well, you know what a hard life he's had.
One thing after another.
He said it a million times, he's cursed.
- His whole family is.
- I didn't know that.
Oh, yeah, his ancestors were royalty and were murdered during the Russian Revolution.
They took them all into this room, lined them up, and shot them, even the little kids.
He said he was a Romanov? Yeah.
They were, like, really rich, but lost everything.
His mother has this family Bible with all the names and birthdays in it.
- Cheryl.
- What? That's my story.
I have that Bible.
- What do you mean? - I'm a Romanov.
Your name is Ford.
My grandfather changed it in the '50s because he didn't want anyone to know that we were Russian.
Ford was the most American thing he could think of.
That's so weird.
I don't know.
Maybe I've got it mixed up.
David told me he was related to General Patton.
I thought he was a prince or something.
That's why he plays Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninoff.
He never told me that.
WAITRESS: Hi.
Are you ready to order? In a minute.
I mean, who would do this to him? It's like a witch hunt.
Dealing with these rich, overprotective parents.
You know most of them are crazy.
He's always saying that.
The kids are fine.
The parents are the problem.
It has to be someone we know.
Well, he does have a lot of students.
I bet it was Debbie Newman.
She is so paranoid.
This one time Oh, my God.
This is like a leaf.
- Mm-hmm.
- I got a heart.
How did you learn to do this? I spent a summer at Le Cordon Bleu.
Oh, you're so lucky.
You know we love Paris.
Really? I would've never guessed.
(LAUGHTER) Stop it.
No, I think it's nice when someone picks a theme and just runs as far as they possibly can with it.
You know, I was over at Tracy Garvey's, she got this very fancy decorator, and he began the process with some sort of test or series of tests.
I don't know if it was a Rorschach or a Pap smear - or what it was, but - (LAUGHTER) as a result, he decided she liked birds.
- Does anybody want madeleines? - CHERYL: Wait.
I knew she was remodeling, but did they finish? Oh, yes.
It's, um How shall I put this? It's a pastiche of various kinds of fowl.
Ducks, chicks, robins, hummingbirds.
I'm pretty sure I saw a pterodactyl in there.
And anything that doesn't have a bird on it has, like, a cage or a nest or feathers or seeds.
(LAUGHTER) All that money and no taste.
It's my worst nightmare.
(LAUGHTER) Oh, this is delicious.
It was definitely a bold statement.
Personally, every time I tried to leave, - I kept running into the window.
- (LAUGHING) - I'm gonna get those cookies.
- You're too much.
Anything with chocolate.
DEBBIE: You're bad! Meanwhile, it's like Versailles threw up in here.
(LAUGHTER) What did you just say? I was just teasing, Debbie.
Please, this is beyond elegant.
(BOTH LAUGHING) God, I never spend any time with him like that.
He's a scream.
But Debbie hates him.
It's like being rejected.
You just never know how somebody's gonna react.
What, do you think she'd ruin his life because of a joke? You know what? I really don't feel like eating.
Do you mind? No, no, of course not.
I've got this.
(CARTOONY SOUND EFFECTS PLAYING OVER PHONE) Did you practice piano? - Yes.
- Put that down.
(SOUND EFFECTS STOP) Henry, did Benji practice? HENRY: What? Did Benji practice piano? HENRY: I don't know.
I had my headphones on.
I did.
- Okay.
- (SOUND EFFECTS RESUME) You wouldn't know if I did or didn't anyway.
Let 'em know you in it, drop down Drop down, let 'em know you in it - (FAUCET RUNNING) - Drop-drop down, drop down - Let 'em know you in it - I been fallin' out since - ALEX: Hey.
- (FAUCET STOPS) Smells great in here.
- Hey there.
- Can you get the cheese? Sure.
Oh.
This guy Mark at the office is going up to San Francisco to run Bay to Breakers with his son.
You want to do it? Benji, this fucking tiramisu has got to go! Pistol-grip pump, light it up if they gonna try Just in case a nigga need the heat How'd it go with Cheryl? Isn't that, like, eight miles? Henry, watch the sauce.
Did you ever give David money for a music school? What? - I won't be mad.
- Never.
Did he ever say anything to you about being a Romanov? - He's a Romanov, too? - No.
He told Cheryl he was.
Oh, my God.
That that's insane.
Did he do something to Jayden? No.
It's almost weirder than that.
It's like a cult.
Apparently, all the moms are hanging out with him, like, all the time.
Cheryl defended him like crazy.
She takes him on vacation with her.
Well, he's their boyfriend.
He told Cheryl that he has my grandma's Bible.
That you gave it to him? No, that it's his.
We got to fire him.
- For what? - For lying.
To Cheryl? No.
He's always been sketchy.
Do you remember the time that we paid him twice? When we were up in Tulum and he said he didn't get the check, and it turned out he'd picked it up already? He admitted he made a mistake.
Once he got caught.
Okay, so he's strapped for cash.
He's a piano teacher, for Christ's sake.
He's always getting rides from creeps.
His car got stolen.
How many times did his car get stolen? And the catalytic converter and the transmission? Have you ever seen any of these guys in the driveway? (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) Creeps.
He had to Uber.
Well, I know the difference between Grindr and Uber.
Also, he shouldn't be in the house when we're not here.
What are you talking about? (DOOR OPENS) Hello, Alex.
Can I make you coffee? Uh no, thanks.
Where are the kids? Must be running late.
Uh, is Katherine here? No.
Monica let me in before she left.
I brought up the mail.
Huh.
You know my friend Steven? He used to run a restaurant well, a bunch of restaurants.
He's developing this app that doesn't just figure out tips.
It remembers how much you tipped every time, all over the world, in every currency.
Pretty cool.
(CHUCKLES) Uh-huh.
I know it's crazy, but but do you think that your company would be interested in something like that? Uh, I think there's something like that already.
(SIGHS) He has so many ideas, but it's very hard to find out what's already out there.
- Yeah.
- Is there any way I could give him your e-mail? Let him pick your brain? Okay, so he has no boundaries - and some bad judgment and - Really? Elton John? - And sometimes he lies.
- Mm-hmm.
But none of that means he's a child molester, does it? Child molester? Is that what the police said? I can't reach them.
I think they would've called me back if it were something really serious.
We got to fire him.
Come on.
If we fire him, everyone will fire him.
Because you recommended him to everyone.
No, I didn't.
People just do what we do.
Because you brag about it.
I didn't brag about it.
I didn't have to.
They saw what he did for Henry.
Wait.
I found the croutons.
We we don't have a salad.
Forget it.
You want some wine? Yes.
- Have a good day.
- Bye.
(DOOR SHUTS) Jesus, Debbie.
You scared the shit out of me.
Well, Cheryl scared the shit out of me.
Why didn't you call me? Because no one's supposed to know.
Well, you told her.
You know, Max had a lesson yesterday.
Should I take him to the doctor? Should I have him examined, like, everywhere? Nothing happened.
They're just looking into it.
I have to talk to the police.
We have a million cameras, but I don't know how to use them.
- Calm down.
- But the police will know, right? They would've contacted you if they needed to.
He hasn't been charged, and my kids said nothing happened.
Of course he wouldn't do anything to your kids.
You're his patron saint.
I don't know what to tell you, but you can't call the police 'cause then they'll know that I told you.
Great.
Thanks, Katherine.
(DEBBIE CRYING) (SOBBING) (DOOR OPENS) (DOOR SHUTS) ALEX: Kats! Where are you? I'm in here! You're not ready? (SIGHS) I don't know why I've been itching all day.
Do you not want to go? Fucking Cheryl.
She's spreading all these rumors, and we still don't even know what happened.
(SIGHS) So you still haven't heard anything from the police.
That's good, right? I don't even know anymore.
You know what? He brought this on himself.
He made himself vulnerable by being so dishonest.
I know what you're saying, but you're not being fair.
I mean, it's an accusation.
Think about Henry.
I am.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER) I'm sorry.
I was finishing my seminar.
I came as soon as I could.
Where is he? He's in the office, but I really need to talk to you first.
I know, but can we do this another time? Okay.
Mrs.
Myers, I hate having to call you in like this, but this is Henry's third incident.
We've had the yelling and the screaming before, but this time, he took off all his clothing, ran around the classroom, eventually the hallway.
(SIGHS) He completely destroyed story time today.
I'm really sorry about that.
You don't have to apologize.
You have to understand not only how disruptive this is to our learning environment, but also how frightening it is for the other children.
Frightening? Henry is a very bright child, but this behavior concerns me.
We can't seem to get him to participate.
Mrs.
Swanson, with all due respect, he's a five-year-old.
They get antsy.
All the children are that age.
He's acting out.
Frankly, I'm concerned that if his behavior doesn't improve, he won't be socially ready to advance to the first grade.
That sounds a little extreme.
Has anything changed at home? I know you're aware I just went back to work.
And I have to say, I don't think that's the issue here.
Children are very sensitive to change.
Maybe this is his response to receiving less attention from you and your husband.
Henry's mentioned that he travels a lot.
(MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE) You're not gonna say anything? You know I'm not mad at you.
But you are going to have to sit quietly while I finish my work.
Henry.
(HORN INSTRUMENT PLAYING) (STRING INSTRUMENTS PLAYING) (SAXOPHONE AND CELLO PLAYING) (CELLO MUSIC CONTINUES) (PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) (SIGHS) I'm really sorry to bother you.
It's no bother at all.
Come on, Henry.
Mommy's late.
(MUSIC CONTINUES) Looks pretty complicated.
But not when it's in slow motion.
There's only one problem.
I can never reach that note.
You want to get it for me? You keep doing that.
(CHUCKLES) Are you faculty? Student? Just practicing.
(PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES FAINTLY) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (PIANO MUSIC FADES) (PHONE VIBRATES) Oh, just ignore it.
I can't.
Hi, Cheryl.
Okay.
Okay.
Thank you for letting me know.
What's going on? Wow.
Yes, let's talk soon.
I'll call you in the morning.
- (SIGHS) - What happened? Cheryl said that they found out that some mom filed a complaint.
She has a 15-year-old who's a little bit troubled.
Who? Patty something.
We don't know her.
She says David bought her son alcohol.
What kind of alcohol? What's the difference? Well, there is a difference.
I mean, what if it was beer? He's a minor.
(PHONE VIBRATES) Eh, great.
Now Debbie's calling.
Honey, please, just turn it off, okay? The problem with these moms is that they don't work, so they don't have anything better to do than just obsess about their kids and this drama.
That's mean.
Personally, I I'm relieved.
I mean, I when I was a kid, we used to get people to buy us beer all the time.
They didn't say it was beer.
They said "alcohol.
" What if it's vodka? I don't know.
We did that, too.
What if it was Henry? The kid probably came home drunk or he got caught with it, and then he blamed it on David.
You think? Well, that's what I would've done.
(CHIMES RING) Are we gonna throw these tickets away? (SIGHS) Hmm? - Okay.
- (SIGHS) (MAN SINGING OPERATIC ARIA) (PHONE VIBRATES) Shit.
Hello, Detective Gutierrez.
GUTIERREZ (ON PHONE): Yes, hello.
- Is this Professor Ford? - It is.
I've been trying to get a hold of you to make an appointment.
Sorry about that.
I mentioned my partner was on vacation.
He just got back.
KATHERINE: Well, I never heard from you, and, frankly, I couldn't wait, so I ended up talking to the kids myself.
GUTIERREZ: About David Patton.
You said that was okay.
Can I ask you, was it alcohol related? Is that what your kids told you? No.
No.
What did they say? (PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) (PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES) Henry? (DOOR CLOSES) (PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES) I didn't know you were here.
(CHUCKLES) I'm a little early.
I hope that's okay.
Of course.
It's so beautiful.
I wish I could play like that.
(CHUCKLES) You probably could.
Did you ever try? I did when I was a girl.
But I wasn't good at it.
And I thought I'd better spend my time elsewhere.
I'm never going to be a professional.
(MUSIC STOPS) That's not what I meant.
No, no, no.
You're right.
When I was at Juilliard, I never imagined it was preparing me for this.
I mean, everyone has to teach at some point.
(PIANO PLAYING) It's either that or play at Nordstrom or a cruise ship.
Some piano bar like Billy Joel.
I mean, of course, everyone would like to be Billy Joel.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) There's just very few people like that.
It's all just biding your time until Carnegie Hall.
And then you start thinking about (SIGHS) why you really play at all.
For me, any problem and there have been many, just melts away the minute I start.
And I get to share that.
I get to be the good thing in someone's life when everything else is bad.
If you had told me that teaching was something other than supporting my dream, that it would actually become my dream, - I never would have believed you.
- (PIANO STOPS) It's so much better than applause.
I mean, applause is nice, too.
(LAUGHS) Are you sure you don't want to try? (DAVID CLICKS TONGUE) I'll get you one day.
KATHERINE: He's uh He's a really great teacher.
GUTIERREZ: That's that's good to hear.
We appreciate your help with this.
That's it? Yeah.
For the time being.
Uh, we'll let you know if we need anything else.
You have a good day, ma'am.
(PHONE VIBRATING) Hello? Yes.
I I'll be right there.
I'm on my way.
Okay, I'm coming now.
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING) So are you nauseated? Do you feel like you want to throw up? Maybe.
- Did you eat a corn dog again? - No.
So what do you think is wrong? Should we go to the doctor? I just don't feel good.
Well, we're going to go home so you can lie down, okay? I don't want to take piano anymore.
What? Why not? Because of what you said.
About David? Yeah.
Benji, did he do something? No.
Well, then, what? I just think it'd be weird now.
(VIDEO GAME SOUND EFFECTS PLAYING OVER TV) I guess no one has any homework.
(SIGHS) (SIGHS) So what the fuck? Maybe Henry put the idea in Benji's head, because he said he wanted to skip this week.
What was Henry's reason? He didn't say.
I didn't think it was weird until Benji said it, because he said it was weird.
So now you want to fire him? I'm not gonna fire him.
I'm gonna let them quit.
You know what, I hate him for putting us in this position.
I worked my whole life to give our kids the privilege of a normal childhood, and he punctured the whole thing.
So you agree.
(SIGHS) No.
Because he didn't do anything.
He bought a kid booze.
That's, like, right out of the child molester's handbook.
- It could've been beer.
- Alex.
And we don't even know that happened.
(EXHALES) A good mother would have just gotten rid of him the minute there was even a tiny possibility something happened.
Sure.
In a hypothetical universe, that makes sense.
But in the real world, that's not true.
A good person doesn't ruin somebody's life over some random accusation.
Did I ever tell you about Alan? Alan who? I don't remember his last name, but when we first moved to Burlingame, there was this kid next door named Alan.
And Alan was really cool.
I'm going skateboarding with Alan.
I was the new kid, and he had surfer hair, and he was really funny.
And he was really good at skateboarding.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) What are you hanging out with Alan for? You know he's a girl.
No, I'm not.
Come on.
Can you move? Have fun with your girlfriend.
(SINGSONGY): Alan's a girl.
ALL: Alan's a girl.
Alan's a girl.
(LAUGHING) So, Alan are you a girl? No.
Then why do they keep saying that? Because they're fuckheads.
(BOTH LAUGH) So, you know my friend Alan? Yeah, I met him.
Turns out he's a boy.
(CHUCKLES): Of course he is.
No.
Kids make fun of him all the time.
But I asked him if he was a girl, and he said he's not.
(LAUGHS) (SIGHS) Alex I have to tell you, I am really disappointed in you.
Why would you ask something like that? I'm disgusted.
You listened to the mob instead of thinking for yourself.
You know, some people are different, and it's none of your goddamn business.
And I guarantee that you really hurt Alan's feelings by asking him that question and being just like everybody else.
Don't you ever do that again.
Wow.
Yeah, he was harsh.
But he just wanted me to be a good person.
(SIGHS) ALEX: Listen.
I know no one wanted to have this conversation about David, especially your mom.
And if something happened, you should tell me right now.
When you accuse somebody of something, whether they did it or not, you make everybody look at them differently.
Now, bearing false witness is the worst crime that you can commit.
Otherwise, anyone could say anything.
About anybody.
And just saying it ruins their life.
No matter what they did.
Does that seem fair? It's not fair.
So you're gonna take those lessons tomorrow, and we're gonna go back to normal.
And I'm sorry that that you got involved in this.
It wasn't our choice.
But in your heart, you have to stretch yourself.
Make everything just like it was.
It's not phony.
It's the right thing.
Okay.
Good night.
Everything's fine.
(ALEX SIGHS) Have a good day.
Wait.
So, did you keep in touch with Alan? No.
Oh.
Well, you can probably find him on Facebook.
Oh, no, Alan was a girl.
Yeah, I, uh yeah, knocked on his door one day and asked for him, and her mom set me straight.
It was actually Ellen.
What? Oh.
Yeah.
Uh, bye, boys.
Everybody have a good day.
- Bye.
- Bye, Daddy.
(DOOR CLOSES) (DOORBELL RINGS) - Hello.
- DAVID: Hi.
- How are you? - Wonderful.
Still walking on air after the recital.
- Oh, us, too.
It was great.
- (CHUCKLES) Benji, David's here! DAVID: Ready, Spider-Man? (PLAYING SCALES)