The Romanoffs (2018) s01e08 Episode Script
The One That Holds Everything
1 ("REFUGEE" BY TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS PLAYING) We got somethin', we both know it We don't talk too much about it Ain't no real big secret All the same, somehow we get around it Listen It don't really matter to me, baby You believe what you want to believe, you see You don't have to live like a refugee Don't have to live like a refugee No! (INDISTINCT P.
A.
ANNOUNCEMENTS) - Can I, can I help you? - Yes, please.
Merci.
Uh, thank you so much.
Bonjour.
(SPEAKS FRENCH) You speak English? I'm frightfully sorry.
Am I in your seat? Afraid so.
Well, I really don't want to put you out, but I requested a window seat, and there weren't any left.
I'm a victim of motion sickness.
Do you mind? No, of course not.
Perhaps there's another one.
I just know the French conductors are fairly strict.
Let me do the talking.
It is so nice to meet a gentleman nowadays.
(P.
A.
BELL CHIMES) (MAN SPEAKING FRENCH OVER P.
A.
) Right on time.
I just adore traveling by train, don't you? Ever since I was little, I thought it was so exciting.
Like anything could happen.
Indeed.
ANNOUNCER (OVER P.
A.
): If you have any questions, or would like to know about the Do you live in London? Los Angeles.
Los Angeles.
How exciting.
I bet you're in the movie business.
Uh, sort of.
Oh, my goodness.
When I tell my friends I sat next to It's Candace, by the way.
Jack.
They are going to be so jealous.
So, are you an actor? I mean, should I recognize you? I'm a writer.
Oh, that has to be the hardest job.
I mean, the blank page.
That's where it all starts.
Anything I might have seen? Probably not.
Well, I have to admit, I'm not so crazy about movies.
I love my telly, even though you have to pay for it now, don't you? I love that one with the vampires who travel through time.
Oh, yes, people like that one.
I do, certainly.
That dark, handsome man, the one who plays the hunter.
What's his name? Samuel.
Samuel something.
Samuel Barlow.
I know him.
You don't.
What's he like? Charming as you'd expect.
He was just in a miniseries I wrote.
Quite a lot of fun to work with.
Now, that I will watch.
So, what is it? I would love to see that man on a horse.
Well, you will.
It's a a six-part series about the Russian royal family, the Romanovs.
Incredible.
We'll see.
No.
It's incredible.
You're not going to believe this.
I knew a Romanov.
You'd be surprised how often people tell me that.
But he was the real thing.
I mean, he had the china, the jewelry, the icon paintings.
His grandmother told him all the stories.
She was supposed to have been there, you know.
The Bolsheviks slaughtered them all.
Little children, too.
- Yes, I'm aware.
- (LAUGHS) Of course you are.
This is fascinating.
So, what brought you to Paris? Are you "shooting"? No, I was in Geneva on family business.
Are you married? Engaged.
Oh! What a lucky girl.
Well? Aren't you going to ask about me? You know, could you excuse me? I'm gonna go have a smoke.
Can't smoke on the train.
I hope I'm not being a nuisance.
Of course not.
I'll be back.
(P.
A.
BELL CHIMES) (MAN SPEAKING FRENCH OVER P.
A.
) Can I get a beer? (LOW, INDISTINCT CHATTER) They came by, and I took the liberty of getting us a couple of their signature cocktails.
(SIGHS): That's very nice of you.
We should have a toast.
To your marriage and your success.
And, take it from me, the wonderful life you have ahead.
I can feel it.
I know these things.
We have to look each other in the eye for good luck.
That Romanov I was telling you about He was a tortured soul, poor thing.
I'm sorry, I really do have some work to catch up on.
You'll want to hear this, I promise.
Well, his father had fallen in love with a very beautiful woman who wasn't his mother.
She was quite a bit younger, and they were very much in love, but it ended rather tragically.
Aha.
So this story is about you.
What makes you say that? I'm a writer.
People often tell me stories, and they're always about themselves.
Well, you didn't let me get to the good part.
This is the story of a murder.
(CHUCKLES) You should have started with that.
(LAUGHS): Well, that's good to know.
Professional advice.
(RATTLES ICE) Where was I? Oh, yes.
So, the father ended up marrying the beautiful young thing No surprise And they had many happy years together before he fell ill with cancer.
The son had never got over his father's remarriage, but still he wanted to make things right before the old man was gone.
(GEORGE COUGHING) Is it hard to talk? It's nothing.
(COUGHING) Still living in Brixton? Not for years.
Notting Hill.
Right.
So, how have you been keeping yourself? - (COUGHING) - You know, bit of this, bit of that.
Considering options.
That's a bumpy road.
You can spend your whole life doing that if you're not careful.
So, what do the doctors say? Aw, you know how they are.
According to them, I should be long gone.
But that's because they don't know Ondine.
Of course, even she can't fight nature.
She's managed to keep me away.
Still blaming your problems on everyone but yourself, I see.
You never knew her.
You never gave her a chance.
Because she'd rather pretend I didn't exist.
And you'd do anything to make her happy.
I suppose it's my fault.
Is that what you came here to tell me? What do you really want? I don't know.
I heard you were dying.
And here you are.
You're my father.
I thought that we should say good-bye.
Don't get sentimental.
(WRY LAUGH) I had an image of how this would be.
(SIGHS) It was a bit different.
You want me to say how proud I am of you.
You want me to tell you how much joy you've brought me, I expect.
That you're not a disappointment.
That you haven't thrown your life away.
Well, I can't.
Because now is not the time to start lying, is it? (BREATHING HEAVILY) Very good, then.
(COUGHING) You couldn't even give us a moment alone, could you? Now you know why he didn't want you here.
You didn't want me here.
You've never wanted me anywhere.
And now you're just waiting for him to die so you can finally have everything.
I hope you feel satisfied, darkening his last hours with your bitterness! Ah.
Well, now I know why this visit was so urgent.
You're clearly on drugs.
A bit late to act like you care.
Please leave.
I don't want your brother to see you like this.
Oh, bugger off! Those are your father's.
He needs them.
Oh, you're worried he won't die fast enough? Why don't you set the house on fire?! Get out.
(PASSING SIREN WAILING) (COUGHING) (SNIFFS) (BODY THUDS) (TRAFFIC WHOOSHING BY) (PASSING HORN HONKS) (TV SPORTS ANNOUNCERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) SPORTS ANNOUNCER: Right winger's picked it up, centers it in.
And he's chipping it Finds the head of the defender.
(SPORTS ANNOUNCER CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) (INDISTINCT TALKING NEARBY) (SNIFFS) (PANTS) (FOOTFALLS PASSING) DOCTOR: Would you like to give it a go? Um okay.
Hello.
I'm Simon.
As you know, I tried to kill myself.
Failed miserably.
Of course.
And I'm sorry, maybe today isn't my day.
Well, you mentioned once that you never fit in.
I wish someone here could understand that.
(OTHERS LAUGH) Just say what's on your mind.
(TAKES DEEP BREATH) (TREMBLING EXHALE) I really tried.
Not just to do what was expected of me, but to exceed it.
I went to Cambridge.
I was at the top of my class.
Won all the awards.
I thought that I could work from the outside in.
I hoped that success in any form would impress them.
(CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY) Make them accept me.
GEORGE: Who's ready for some cake? - CHILDREN: Me! - (GEORGE LAUGHING) Mmm.
Do you have the camera? No.
Where is it? Oh.
George, look who's here.
(CHILDREN CHEERING) Oh.
It's quite the party.
Really pulled out all the stops.
Well he is everything to us.
George.
It's good to see you, son.
Oh.
Aren't you thoughtful.
You look lovely.
Let's get you some bubbles.
You're looking well.
Sorry we didn't make it to the graduation.
Oh, I know, it's Ondine's mother.
Yes, she's better, thank goodness.
- Thank you.
- Ah.
She's really quite something, isn't she? Wave to your big brother! (GEORGE CHUCKLES) Why is Ondine wearing Mum's earrings? Well if we'd had a daughter, they would have been hers.
Let's get a family photo.
Brilliant! - Uh - (SIMON SNIFFLES) would you mind? Do you know how to use it? I'll work it out.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) (GEORGE CHUCKLES) SIMON: It was a family, and I was in no way part of it, so I decided to get as far away as I could.
("DESIRE" BY U2 PLAYING) I went halfway around the world.
Yeah Lover, I'm off the street Gonna go where the bright lights And the big city meet With a red guitar On fire Desire She's the candle SIMON: Finance was the Wild West then, and Cambridge graduates were prime candidates.
Needle and spoon Over the counter As a bond trader in Hong Kong, it was easy to hide.
Everybody got one And the fever when I'm beside her I was just another shiny bee in a hive dripping with money.
Desire I woke up with my heart pounding sometimes, smiling at everything that was new.
(LAUGHTER) For the first time, not afraid of it, and maybe a little smug, because we all knew we were getting away with something.
Desire All right.
(SONG ENDS) (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING) - What is wrong with you? - (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) You're perfect.
You're mad.
I'm saving your life.
I'll tell you what's gonna save my life.
Lewis is moving back to London.
Did he get sacked? (CHUCKLES) No.
He's gonna make 300 a year.
That sounds pretty good, doesn't it? He's not any better than you.
Well, I'm happy here.
So, you haven't got any plans for the future? What do you mean? Well, have you thought about what you're going to do? You know, after all of this? Well, after what? (SNIFFLES) (CHUCKLING): Come on, you know what I mean.
No, I don't.
You don't want a real life? Well, isn't this real? I, uh (SIGHS) I proposed to Kiera yesterday.
We're getting married.
I-I want you to be my best man.
Master of ceremonies, you know, stag party.
Give me a proper send-off.
No.
(LAUGHING): Oh, don't be like that.
How should I be? I don't know.
Happy.
Be happy for me.
I love how you pretend you're thinking about my future when you're really thinking about yours.
I'm sorry.
That was stupid.
But it's not like this is a surprise.
You-you knew it was coming.
I really didn't.
(CHUCKLING): Jesus Christ, you can be so impossible sometimes.
(CHRISTOPHER MUTTERS) Don't do this.
You don't have to pretend to be something just 'cause that's what people expect.
Doesn't mean I don't care about you, but this is the way it's got to be.
Look you knew this couldn't go on forever.
(SIMON SNIFFLES) And why not? Simon really.
("ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE" BY SCORPIONS PLAYING) It's early morning, the sun comes out Last night was shaking and really loud My cat is purring, it scratches my skin So what is wrong with another sin? The night is calling, I have to go The wolf is hungry, he runs the show He's licking his lips, he's ready to win On the hunt tonight for love at first sting (WHOOPING) Here I am BOTH: Rock you like a hurricane Are you ready, baby? Here I am Rock you like a hurricane Here I am Rock you like a hurricane Come on, come on, come on, come on Here I am Rock you like a hurricane (LAUGHTER) - Here I am.
- (WHOOPS) (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) (THE BANGLES' "ETERNAL FLAME" PLAYING) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING) - Close your eyes - (WHOOPING) Give me your hand, darling (LAUGHING): Do you feel my heart beating? Do you un? (CHEERING) (WHOOPING) Is this burning An eternal flame? - Ooh - I believe It's meant to be, darling - Ooh, ooh - I watch you when you are sleeping You belong with me - Ooh, ooh, ooh - Do you feel the same? Or am I only dreaming? Or is this burning - Burning - An eternal flame? - (CHEERING) - Say my name Sun shines through the rain A whole life so lonely Come and ease the pain I don't want to lose this feeling Oh Oh, oh, oh (CROWD CLAMORING) (WHOOPING) MAN: Yo! Ah, ah, ah, ah Ah, ah Ah, ah, ah Dreaming Ah, ah Christopher.
Close your eyes Give me your hand, darling Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming? Is this? Ah, ah Close your eyes Give me your hand, darling My heart beating.
(DOOR OPENS, KEYS JINGLE) (DOOR CLOSES) Hello? What are you doing here? Wha? What the fuck is wrong with you?! (GRUNTING) Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing? Let go! You are disgusting.
You've ruined everything! What are you talking about? Simon told me everything! Wait.
Hold on.
I don't know what you're talking about.
How long have you been lying to me? Kiera, what did he say to you? The wedding's off.
There's no fucking way I am marrying a degenerate like you! (KIERA GROANS) - (CRYING) - Look, could you just calm down? Just calm down, okay? (CRYING) Don't you fucking touch me.
Please.
Baby, I need to know what you think has happened.
(PANTING, SNIFFLING) (SIGHS) He said you went to a hostess club last night, and you got a blow job from one of those whores! (SIGHS HEAVILY) (KIERA CRIES QUIETLY) Look, he's lying.
He said you'd say that.
- Because he knows I know him.
- (SNIFFLES) I'm telling you, he can't help it.
He's just a liar.
He's your best friend.
Yeah, I know it's weird, but I think he feels threatened by you.
Why? I am so nice to him.
I just think he's too attached to me.
Yeah, he told me things he's never told anyone.
He had a really fucked-up childhood.
That is no excuse.
Look, I know, but listen.
(CRYING) No.
Will you listen, please? (KIERA SNIFFLES, SIGHS) (GROANS) (SIGHS, SNIFFLES) Fine.
When he was little, his parents were very happy and well off.
His mother was a duchess or something.
She traced her lineage back to the Russian royals, the ones that were murdered.
The raindrops CHRISTOPHER: Simon was so in love with her.
So many raindrops She was fragile and a bit private, so they only had a nanny from time to time.
Your mom and dad will be home soon.
You better get to bed, or they'll be cross.
Falling from my eyes Since my love has left me I'm so all alone Ondine? Why do you wear makeup? So I can look pretty.
But you already look pretty.
I don't know where she's gone Well, I want to look as pretty as I can.
There must be a cloud in my head Makes me feel special.
Rain keeps falling from my eye-eyes What if you're a boy? Boys don't wear makeup, Simon.
Why not? They just don't.
But what if I want to feel special? You'll have to find another way.
Raindrops (DOOR OPENS) (LAUGHS) Mummy! (LAUGHS) Well, what are you still doing up? He wanted to wait for you.
Mmm.
You know I love that.
Mmm.
George? You have to take Ondine back.
Right.
And you, my sugar candy, off to bed.
(KISSES) Good night.
Good night.
Rain keeps falling from my eye-eyes And brush your teeth.
He likes you.
NATALIE: And he's very particular, you know.
I love your earrings.
Are they antique? (LAUGHS) Thank you.
Yes.
They weigh a ton.
They were my grandmother's.
Gift from the czar of Russia.
Well, that's what we told the insurance company, anyway.
- (LAUGHS) - Thanks again.
Next time.
Right.
Train's leaving.
No pub.
This'll be waiting for you upstairs.
Perfect.
(ONDINE LAUGHING) (GASPS) (ENGINE STARTS) (CAR DEPARTING) Hello, Auntie.
Oh, Simon, go upstairs and play.
Where's Mummy? She's busy.
Go upstairs and play.
(NATALIE CRYING) (TRAY RATTLES GENTLY ON TABLE) What did I expect? (CRYING) I invited her into my house.
- (SHUSHES) - (SNIFFLES) There's no one to blame but him.
Oh.
(CRIES) (GEORGE AND NATALIE ARGUING IN DISTANCE) (GEORGE AND NATALIE CONTINUE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) (GLASS SHATTERS IN DISTANCE) (INDISTINCT SHOUTING CONTINUES) - GEORGE: How could you say to me - NATALIE: How could I say?! - That I was with her - You've been having an affair! GEORGE: An affair? What?! I can't believe you're - accusing me of doing some - You're a liar! - God's sake! - That is absolute nonsense! Stop it.
Stop lying to me, George.
GEORGE: Will you listen to yourself? I can't confess to something that you've imagined.
Oh, don't you dare.
You know I know, and now you can't even be a man and own up to it! Clearly you can't be reasoned with.
- I'm off to the pub.
- Right, of course.
Go on, then! Go to her! Get away from your own lunatic wife! (DOOR CLOSES) (DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE) Simon.
Sweetheart.
I'm sorry.
Everything's okay.
Mummy loves you.
Just go back to bed.
It'll all be better in the morning.
(EXHALES) (ENGINE STARTS) (DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE) RADIO ANNOUNCER: Good Saturday evening to you.
If you hear those cymbals, you know what time it is.
Pick of the Pops time.
We're gonna get things kicked off tonight.
We have something a little instructional for you girls and boys.
"How Do You Do It?" - (COUGHING) - The debut single from Liverpool band Gerry and the Pacemakers.
- How do you do - Mummy? What you do to me? I wish I knew Mummy? (COUGHING) How do you - Do what you do to me? - (COUGHING) - I'm feeling blue - (RATTLING DOOR) - Wish I knew how you do it to me - Help! - But I haven't a clue - Somebody! Help! - You give me - (HITTING DOOR) - A feeling in my heart - (GRUNTS IN PAIN) - Like an arrow - Oh! - Passin' through it - (CLATTERING, FLAMES CRACKLING) Suppose that you think you're very smart (CLATTERING) (GLASS BREAKS) (COUGHING) How do you do what you do to me? - (MUFFLED COUGHING) - (HITS WINDOW) (POUNDING ON WINDOW) (CONTINUES COUGHING) (DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE) - You give me a feeling in my heart - (COUGHING) - (CLATTERING) - Like an arrow Passin' through it Suppose that you think you're very smart But won't you tell me How do you do it? How do you do what you do to me? - If I only knew - (COUGHING) Then perhaps you'd fall for me Like I fell for you When I do it to you How do you do what you do to me? - If I only knew - (COUGHING) Then perhaps you'd fall for me - Like I - (ELECTRIC BUZZ) (MUSIC STOPS) (DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE) Help! Somebody, please! (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Make pumps four! Persons reported! You've got to stand back.
This is for your own safety.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER, SHOUTS) GEORGE: Please let me through! Let me through.
Simon! Simon, where's your mother? - Daddy! - Be still! Stay with me.
Sir, you'll have to stand back.
But my wife, she's in there.
This is your house? Well, where were you? I was in the pub.
My neighbor Harold came to get me.
I'm-I'm very sorry.
Where exactly is the bedroom? We couldn't get anything out of your son.
MINISTER: I am the resurrection and the life, said the Lord.
He that believeth in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.
And whosoever liveth and believeth in Me shall never die.
I know that my redeemer liveth.
And that He shall stand up at the last upon the earth, whom I shall see for myself and my eyes shall behold, and not another.
We brought nothing into the world, and it is certain that we can carry nothing out.
The Lord gave and the Lord taketh away.
- Is she in there? - Blessed be - the name of the Lord.
- Yes.
The eternal God - is thy refuge - Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure.
- Neither death nor life - How do you know? nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, - shall be able to separate us - I checked.
From the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.
What does she look like? Whether we live, we live unto the Lord, and whether we die, we die unto the Lord I don't know how you can live with yourself.
Belinda, please don't do this.
She knew everything.
You ruined her life.
You ruined her life the day you married her.
I know.
Now you're sorry, now that you've lost her.
You've betrayed her.
You've lied to her.
You treated her like she was worthless.
You should be the one in that box.
You think I don't know that? MINISTER: Remember not the sins and offenses of my youth, but according to Thy mercy, think Thou upon me, O Lord, for Thy goodness.
For in my Father's house, there are many mansions.
And He shall lead His flock like a shepherd, and He shall gather the lambs with His arms, and carry them in His bosom.
Let not your hearts be troubled, - neither let them be afraid, - (EXHALES) ye believe in God, believe also in me.
So rest eternal and grant unto them, O Lord, and let Thy light shine upon them.
There you are.
(SIGHS) (CLEARS THROAT) (SIGHING) You see? It's not so bad.
We can still get everything done the way it should be.
Everything shipshape and Bristol fashion.
Thank you, Daddy.
I'll teach you how to do it yourself.
It's even harder to tie on someone else, you know.
Ready? (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Well, off you go.
I'll be back to collect you at the end of the day.
Simon, it's nothing to be afraid of.
A new school is a new start.
Hey, King Tut.
After me, King Tut.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) Enjoy your lunch, King Tut.
Why do they keep calling me King Tut? Because you have a dead mummy.
Sorry.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS) So? How was it? Is my daddy dead? What? Oh.
No.
No, of course not.
Your daddy's fine.
He just got a little busy with work, so he asked me to help him out.
Why did he ask you? (SIGHS) Well I'm going to be taking care of you from now on.
Would you like that? For how long? For as long as your daddy and you need me.
I'll make you a proper breakfast.
I'll help you with your studies.
Are you going to be living with us? Well would you like that? - (SIGHS) - Simon now that your mummy's gone, well, your daddy's he's very lonely.
And it makes him sad.
Do you love my daddy? Yes.
Yes, I do.
I do love your daddy.
And I would like to come and stay with you and take good care of you both.
Why were you there when the house burned down? What are you talking about? I saw you.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
Simon what exactly are you trying to ask me? Go ahead.
(CHUCKLES): I'd be happy to answer.
Did you burn my house down? With my mummy inside it? No.
No, I didn't.
And it really hurts my feelings that you could say something like that.
In fact it makes me very angry.
And if you really thought that what you said was true, why would you want to make me angry? (TREMBLING EXHALE) If you ever speak of that again, ever I will cut your tongue out of your mouth, and then you won't be able to say anything to anyone.
Come along.
Let's get you a treat.
(ONDINE GIGGLING IN DISTANCE) ONDINE (LAUGHING): No! No! (ONDINE GIGGLING) - (ONDINE LAUGHS, SQUEALS) - (GEORGE GRUNTS) ONDINE (LAUGHS): No.
you're just gonna get hungry again, and I'm not going to cook for you in the middle of the night.
GEORGE (LAUGHING): I'll take starvation.
- (ONDINE GIGGLES) - Come here.
ONDINE: Ouch.
Mmm.
(ONDINE GIGGLING) (DOOR CREAKING) (FOOD SIZZLING) - Bacon? - Yes, please.
Look at that! You've done it all by yourself.
I told you he was independent.
Yes, he is.
He's independent and he's ready.
Aren't you, son? For what? Well It's been a Burrows tradition for many generations.
And I have to say that your education so far seems rather willy-nilly.
So I've decided to send you to public school starting next term.
When is that? (CHUCKLES): In the autumn.
Where? Well we'll try everywhere, but Cheltenham was good enough for me.
So I'm going away? You're so sharp.
We just want to make sure you have every advantage.
It's what every boy wants: freedom.
Was this your idea? Absolutely not.
Ondine has never tried to replace your mother.
She knows where Mummy lives in your memory.
In our memory.
And what she would have wanted for you.
You deserve happiness.
We all do.
Are you getting married? That has nothing to do with this.
Isn't this what you wanted? (CHUCKLES) CHRISTOPHER: So they sent him off to school.
He did well for himself.
But he never got over it.
Is that true? That's what he told me.
(EXHALES) How do you know he's not lying about that, too? Maybe just because it explains so much about the way he is.
(SIGHS) That is so terrible.
I feel so awful for him.
But I can't believe he fucking told me that.
Well, it makes sense, doesn't it? (CHUCKLES): I mean, look at you.
We have a future together.
He doesn't have anyone.
How do you think that makes him feel? (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) He's in love with you.
(CHUCKLES): Maybe.
Look, there's no excuse for what he did.
He saw another person slipping away, and he just thought about himself.
(SIGHS HEAVILY) So, what do we do? Just pretend like nothing happened? (SIGHS) Yeah.
He's great at it.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) - (CHURCH BELLS RINGING) - (CHEERING) (ENGINE STARTS) (GUESTS WHOOPING) SIMON: I saw him for a while at work, when he got back from his honeymoon.
And then he got transferred, first to Tokyo, and then I don't know.
We lost touch.
I know that I would sometimes wake in the middle of the night and imagine his arms around me.
It hurt so much that I started taking tranquilizers.
Drinking more.
Then I came back here because my father was dying.
And then Well, you all know what happened after that.
I'm happy to be alive.
As hard as it is.
But I just sort of accepted the fact that that no one would ever really know me again, and certainly not love me.
How could they? What am I? Even I don't know.
I'd like to feel better.
Sometimes I wonder if that's asking too much.
I mean, do I think I'll feel like everyone else? Are they all feeling so wonderful? Or are they just able to live each day without thinking about who they are, how they're being looked at.
I just stopped seeing a lot of things because they hurt.
(SNIFFS) But I've learned how to brush my teeth without ever looking in the mirror.
It's the only way to keep from ruining my whole day.
(SNIFFS) Thank you Simon, for sharing that.
Brittany, would you like to speak? (CAR ENGINE STARTS) You finally spoke.
How do you feel? Exposed.
Are you off to work? (INDISTINCT CHATTER) So, do you want to be called Simon? No, I want to be called King Tut.
(LAUGHS) Was that true? Who could make that up? Never underestimate the cruel ingenuity of the British schoolboy.
(CHUCKLES) I like the name Dana.
It suits you.
Well, my mother had a friend.
Uh, she died of breast cancer when I was 12.
But she always let me wear her gloves.
She could tell I liked them too much.
No such luck.
All my mother's things went to Ondine, and then I was shipped off, so I just started stealing things.
Did you get caught? I'm really good at being invisible.
Well, I saw you today.
Can we leave that be? It's a funny thing about group, because you almost get more out of other people talking.
You realize that, unlike everybody else, you have to fucking announce yourself to the world, and they just get to be the way they are.
I know, I know.
Life's not fair.
I don't know if you do know.
Because you still and I hope you don't take this the wrong way But you talk like a victim.
Well, I feel like one sometimes.
You're not.
You're really brave.
Everyone in that room is.
No one gives us credit.
We're just trannies, poofs, queers, whatever they want to call us.
But we can take more than anybody.
Look at this.
I got one like that there, I have one on my hip, a little smaller, and I have one on my thigh.
Do you know what they are? No.
Compound fractures.
Because I happened to be on the high street with a friend the night West Ham won the FA Cup.
And the only way they could think of to celebrate was to rip my wig off and literally break my bones till they burst through my skin.
Like they were trying to turn me inside out.
That's horrid.
But I'm not a victim, am I? Your heart was broken, but it heals just like bones.
Comes back stronger.
But you have to take control.
You have to fight back, and you have to stand up for yourself.
Because no one else will.
So "be a man.
" Isn't that the problem? I know.
Sometimes we're just as bad.
We want to be delicate, we want to wear makeup and pretty dresses, have someone catch us when we faint.
But that's not what women are.
That's what men say they are.
Think of the woman you want to become.
We all have one.
And she's tougher than a hundred hooligans.
My mother.
I'll bet she was strong.
Not at all.
But I loved her.
She always used to call me her sugar candy.
SIMON: Hello, Ondine.
Hello, Ondine.
(DOORBELL RINGS) Hello, Ondine.
Hello, Ondine.
Oh, Simon.
I hardly recognized you.
May I come in? Yes.
Of course.
Would you like some tea? No, thank you.
I can't stay long.
You've changed quite a bit.
I am who I always was.
You can just see it now.
Yes.
Well I think I always knew exactly who you were.
That would make perfect sense that you, of all people, could see me most clearly.
Perhaps it's true.
And perhaps that's why I can see that you're still scared.
You, on the other hand, you haven't changed a bit.
(LAUGHS) Why, thank you.
So what brings you here? I came to collect my mother's earrings.
I'm sure you know which ones.
Your father gave them to me.
They're a family heirloom.
They belong to me.
If it's money you want, I'd be happy to help.
I don't want money.
I want what's mine.
Nothing else.
I'm sorry, but they're not yours.
They're meant for the women in the family.
You may dress like a woman, but that doesn't mean that you are one.
The family? I'm a Romanov.
And you're just pretending.
It's all I'm asking from you.
After everything you did.
Oh, this again.
I am not the reason you turned out the way you did.
If you really loved your mother, you would have died trying to save her in that fire.
That's what my son would have done.
(INHALES DEEPLY) I'm not leaving without them.
I'm sorry, but they're not here.
They're in a safe in Geneva.
(DOOR OPENS) - (DOOR CLOSES) - JACK: Mum? I'm in here.
Oh, I didn't know you had a friend over.
Mm.
Will you be joining us for lunch? Jack, this is Simon.
Your brother.
O-Oh.
Uh It's nice to see you again.
Do you remember him? Um uh Not like this.
(LAUGHS) Well, it's been a while.
Jack is a writer.
He has a play at the Royal Court about Robespierre.
And he still takes his mum to lunch every week.
What brings you by? Just saying hello.
But I guess I better get going.
(STAMMERS) You're welcome to join us, if you'd like.
No.
No, Simon has to get on with things.
Or at least try.
Simon? It's Candace now.
It's you.
Hello, little brother.
What do you want from me? I read about your engagement and all your success, and I just had to come and find you.
(SHUDDERING) I'm-I'm sick.
Oh.
That's just the poison.
I put it in your drink.
(GASPS) What? Oh, I wouldn't panic if I were you.
It just makes it work faster.
(LABORED BREATHING) I don't understand.
Well I could have killed Ondine, but it's a little late, - don't you think? - (GAGS) After all, she's an old lady now.
What difference would it make? (GURGLING) Exactly.
I realized the only way I could really hurt her was to take away the thing she loves most.
Just as she took away what I loved most.
- Poor Ondine.
- (GAGS) She's going to have to suffer through what years she has left without her golden boy.
(WHEEZING): Help.
Someone.
Please.
(CHUCKLING): Oh.
No one can hear you.
(GASPING) And trust me, even if they could, it wouldn't make a difference.
It's too late.
(GASPING) You know, it's part of what happens when you become a woman of a certain age.
You're just paint on the wall.
(GASPING) But it turns out, it's actually quite an advantage.
I mean, if you had really looked at me when you sat down, none of this would have happened.
(WHEEZING) (GURGLING) (EXHALES) (P.
A.
BELL CHIMES) (MAN SPEAKING FRENCH OVER P.
A.
) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to London.
The local time is 2:28.
We will soon be arriving at Saint Pancras station.
Please make sure that you take your personal belongings when you leave the train.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) Excuse me, sir.
("WEST END GIRLS" BY PET SHOP BOYS PLAYING) (SPEAKS FRENCH) Sometimes you're better off dead There's a gun in your hand, it's pointing at your head You think you're mad, too unstable Kicking in chairs and knocking down tables In a restaurant in a West End town Call the police, there's a mad man around Running down underground to a dive bar in a West End town In a West End town, a dead-end world The East End boys and West End girls In a West End town, in a dead-end world The East End boys and West End girls West End girls Too many shadows, whispering voices Faces on posters, too many choices If, when, why, what? How much have you got? Have you got it, do you get it, if so how often? Which do you choose, a hard or soft option? How much do you need? In a West End town, a dead-end world The East End boys and West End girls In a West End town, in a dead-end world The East End boys and West End girls West End girls West End girls.
A.
ANNOUNCEMENTS) - Can I, can I help you? - Yes, please.
Merci.
Uh, thank you so much.
Bonjour.
(SPEAKS FRENCH) You speak English? I'm frightfully sorry.
Am I in your seat? Afraid so.
Well, I really don't want to put you out, but I requested a window seat, and there weren't any left.
I'm a victim of motion sickness.
Do you mind? No, of course not.
Perhaps there's another one.
I just know the French conductors are fairly strict.
Let me do the talking.
It is so nice to meet a gentleman nowadays.
(P.
A.
BELL CHIMES) (MAN SPEAKING FRENCH OVER P.
A.
) Right on time.
I just adore traveling by train, don't you? Ever since I was little, I thought it was so exciting.
Like anything could happen.
Indeed.
ANNOUNCER (OVER P.
A.
): If you have any questions, or would like to know about the Do you live in London? Los Angeles.
Los Angeles.
How exciting.
I bet you're in the movie business.
Uh, sort of.
Oh, my goodness.
When I tell my friends I sat next to It's Candace, by the way.
Jack.
They are going to be so jealous.
So, are you an actor? I mean, should I recognize you? I'm a writer.
Oh, that has to be the hardest job.
I mean, the blank page.
That's where it all starts.
Anything I might have seen? Probably not.
Well, I have to admit, I'm not so crazy about movies.
I love my telly, even though you have to pay for it now, don't you? I love that one with the vampires who travel through time.
Oh, yes, people like that one.
I do, certainly.
That dark, handsome man, the one who plays the hunter.
What's his name? Samuel.
Samuel something.
Samuel Barlow.
I know him.
You don't.
What's he like? Charming as you'd expect.
He was just in a miniseries I wrote.
Quite a lot of fun to work with.
Now, that I will watch.
So, what is it? I would love to see that man on a horse.
Well, you will.
It's a a six-part series about the Russian royal family, the Romanovs.
Incredible.
We'll see.
No.
It's incredible.
You're not going to believe this.
I knew a Romanov.
You'd be surprised how often people tell me that.
But he was the real thing.
I mean, he had the china, the jewelry, the icon paintings.
His grandmother told him all the stories.
She was supposed to have been there, you know.
The Bolsheviks slaughtered them all.
Little children, too.
- Yes, I'm aware.
- (LAUGHS) Of course you are.
This is fascinating.
So, what brought you to Paris? Are you "shooting"? No, I was in Geneva on family business.
Are you married? Engaged.
Oh! What a lucky girl.
Well? Aren't you going to ask about me? You know, could you excuse me? I'm gonna go have a smoke.
Can't smoke on the train.
I hope I'm not being a nuisance.
Of course not.
I'll be back.
(P.
A.
BELL CHIMES) (MAN SPEAKING FRENCH OVER P.
A.
) Can I get a beer? (LOW, INDISTINCT CHATTER) They came by, and I took the liberty of getting us a couple of their signature cocktails.
(SIGHS): That's very nice of you.
We should have a toast.
To your marriage and your success.
And, take it from me, the wonderful life you have ahead.
I can feel it.
I know these things.
We have to look each other in the eye for good luck.
That Romanov I was telling you about He was a tortured soul, poor thing.
I'm sorry, I really do have some work to catch up on.
You'll want to hear this, I promise.
Well, his father had fallen in love with a very beautiful woman who wasn't his mother.
She was quite a bit younger, and they were very much in love, but it ended rather tragically.
Aha.
So this story is about you.
What makes you say that? I'm a writer.
People often tell me stories, and they're always about themselves.
Well, you didn't let me get to the good part.
This is the story of a murder.
(CHUCKLES) You should have started with that.
(LAUGHS): Well, that's good to know.
Professional advice.
(RATTLES ICE) Where was I? Oh, yes.
So, the father ended up marrying the beautiful young thing No surprise And they had many happy years together before he fell ill with cancer.
The son had never got over his father's remarriage, but still he wanted to make things right before the old man was gone.
(GEORGE COUGHING) Is it hard to talk? It's nothing.
(COUGHING) Still living in Brixton? Not for years.
Notting Hill.
Right.
So, how have you been keeping yourself? - (COUGHING) - You know, bit of this, bit of that.
Considering options.
That's a bumpy road.
You can spend your whole life doing that if you're not careful.
So, what do the doctors say? Aw, you know how they are.
According to them, I should be long gone.
But that's because they don't know Ondine.
Of course, even she can't fight nature.
She's managed to keep me away.
Still blaming your problems on everyone but yourself, I see.
You never knew her.
You never gave her a chance.
Because she'd rather pretend I didn't exist.
And you'd do anything to make her happy.
I suppose it's my fault.
Is that what you came here to tell me? What do you really want? I don't know.
I heard you were dying.
And here you are.
You're my father.
I thought that we should say good-bye.
Don't get sentimental.
(WRY LAUGH) I had an image of how this would be.
(SIGHS) It was a bit different.
You want me to say how proud I am of you.
You want me to tell you how much joy you've brought me, I expect.
That you're not a disappointment.
That you haven't thrown your life away.
Well, I can't.
Because now is not the time to start lying, is it? (BREATHING HEAVILY) Very good, then.
(COUGHING) You couldn't even give us a moment alone, could you? Now you know why he didn't want you here.
You didn't want me here.
You've never wanted me anywhere.
And now you're just waiting for him to die so you can finally have everything.
I hope you feel satisfied, darkening his last hours with your bitterness! Ah.
Well, now I know why this visit was so urgent.
You're clearly on drugs.
A bit late to act like you care.
Please leave.
I don't want your brother to see you like this.
Oh, bugger off! Those are your father's.
He needs them.
Oh, you're worried he won't die fast enough? Why don't you set the house on fire?! Get out.
(PASSING SIREN WAILING) (COUGHING) (SNIFFS) (BODY THUDS) (TRAFFIC WHOOSHING BY) (PASSING HORN HONKS) (TV SPORTS ANNOUNCERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) SPORTS ANNOUNCER: Right winger's picked it up, centers it in.
And he's chipping it Finds the head of the defender.
(SPORTS ANNOUNCER CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) (INDISTINCT TALKING NEARBY) (SNIFFS) (PANTS) (FOOTFALLS PASSING) DOCTOR: Would you like to give it a go? Um okay.
Hello.
I'm Simon.
As you know, I tried to kill myself.
Failed miserably.
Of course.
And I'm sorry, maybe today isn't my day.
Well, you mentioned once that you never fit in.
I wish someone here could understand that.
(OTHERS LAUGH) Just say what's on your mind.
(TAKES DEEP BREATH) (TREMBLING EXHALE) I really tried.
Not just to do what was expected of me, but to exceed it.
I went to Cambridge.
I was at the top of my class.
Won all the awards.
I thought that I could work from the outside in.
I hoped that success in any form would impress them.
(CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY) Make them accept me.
GEORGE: Who's ready for some cake? - CHILDREN: Me! - (GEORGE LAUGHING) Mmm.
Do you have the camera? No.
Where is it? Oh.
George, look who's here.
(CHILDREN CHEERING) Oh.
It's quite the party.
Really pulled out all the stops.
Well he is everything to us.
George.
It's good to see you, son.
Oh.
Aren't you thoughtful.
You look lovely.
Let's get you some bubbles.
You're looking well.
Sorry we didn't make it to the graduation.
Oh, I know, it's Ondine's mother.
Yes, she's better, thank goodness.
- Thank you.
- Ah.
She's really quite something, isn't she? Wave to your big brother! (GEORGE CHUCKLES) Why is Ondine wearing Mum's earrings? Well if we'd had a daughter, they would have been hers.
Let's get a family photo.
Brilliant! - Uh - (SIMON SNIFFLES) would you mind? Do you know how to use it? I'll work it out.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) (GEORGE CHUCKLES) SIMON: It was a family, and I was in no way part of it, so I decided to get as far away as I could.
("DESIRE" BY U2 PLAYING) I went halfway around the world.
Yeah Lover, I'm off the street Gonna go where the bright lights And the big city meet With a red guitar On fire Desire She's the candle SIMON: Finance was the Wild West then, and Cambridge graduates were prime candidates.
Needle and spoon Over the counter As a bond trader in Hong Kong, it was easy to hide.
Everybody got one And the fever when I'm beside her I was just another shiny bee in a hive dripping with money.
Desire I woke up with my heart pounding sometimes, smiling at everything that was new.
(LAUGHTER) For the first time, not afraid of it, and maybe a little smug, because we all knew we were getting away with something.
Desire All right.
(SONG ENDS) (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING) - What is wrong with you? - (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) You're perfect.
You're mad.
I'm saving your life.
I'll tell you what's gonna save my life.
Lewis is moving back to London.
Did he get sacked? (CHUCKLES) No.
He's gonna make 300 a year.
That sounds pretty good, doesn't it? He's not any better than you.
Well, I'm happy here.
So, you haven't got any plans for the future? What do you mean? Well, have you thought about what you're going to do? You know, after all of this? Well, after what? (SNIFFLES) (CHUCKLING): Come on, you know what I mean.
No, I don't.
You don't want a real life? Well, isn't this real? I, uh (SIGHS) I proposed to Kiera yesterday.
We're getting married.
I-I want you to be my best man.
Master of ceremonies, you know, stag party.
Give me a proper send-off.
No.
(LAUGHING): Oh, don't be like that.
How should I be? I don't know.
Happy.
Be happy for me.
I love how you pretend you're thinking about my future when you're really thinking about yours.
I'm sorry.
That was stupid.
But it's not like this is a surprise.
You-you knew it was coming.
I really didn't.
(CHUCKLING): Jesus Christ, you can be so impossible sometimes.
(CHRISTOPHER MUTTERS) Don't do this.
You don't have to pretend to be something just 'cause that's what people expect.
Doesn't mean I don't care about you, but this is the way it's got to be.
Look you knew this couldn't go on forever.
(SIMON SNIFFLES) And why not? Simon really.
("ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE" BY SCORPIONS PLAYING) It's early morning, the sun comes out Last night was shaking and really loud My cat is purring, it scratches my skin So what is wrong with another sin? The night is calling, I have to go The wolf is hungry, he runs the show He's licking his lips, he's ready to win On the hunt tonight for love at first sting (WHOOPING) Here I am BOTH: Rock you like a hurricane Are you ready, baby? Here I am Rock you like a hurricane Here I am Rock you like a hurricane Come on, come on, come on, come on Here I am Rock you like a hurricane (LAUGHTER) - Here I am.
- (WHOOPS) (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) (THE BANGLES' "ETERNAL FLAME" PLAYING) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING) - Close your eyes - (WHOOPING) Give me your hand, darling (LAUGHING): Do you feel my heart beating? Do you un? (CHEERING) (WHOOPING) Is this burning An eternal flame? - Ooh - I believe It's meant to be, darling - Ooh, ooh - I watch you when you are sleeping You belong with me - Ooh, ooh, ooh - Do you feel the same? Or am I only dreaming? Or is this burning - Burning - An eternal flame? - (CHEERING) - Say my name Sun shines through the rain A whole life so lonely Come and ease the pain I don't want to lose this feeling Oh Oh, oh, oh (CROWD CLAMORING) (WHOOPING) MAN: Yo! Ah, ah, ah, ah Ah, ah Ah, ah, ah Dreaming Ah, ah Christopher.
Close your eyes Give me your hand, darling Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming? Is this? Ah, ah Close your eyes Give me your hand, darling My heart beating.
(DOOR OPENS, KEYS JINGLE) (DOOR CLOSES) Hello? What are you doing here? Wha? What the fuck is wrong with you?! (GRUNTING) Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing? Let go! You are disgusting.
You've ruined everything! What are you talking about? Simon told me everything! Wait.
Hold on.
I don't know what you're talking about.
How long have you been lying to me? Kiera, what did he say to you? The wedding's off.
There's no fucking way I am marrying a degenerate like you! (KIERA GROANS) - (CRYING) - Look, could you just calm down? Just calm down, okay? (CRYING) Don't you fucking touch me.
Please.
Baby, I need to know what you think has happened.
(PANTING, SNIFFLING) (SIGHS) He said you went to a hostess club last night, and you got a blow job from one of those whores! (SIGHS HEAVILY) (KIERA CRIES QUIETLY) Look, he's lying.
He said you'd say that.
- Because he knows I know him.
- (SNIFFLES) I'm telling you, he can't help it.
He's just a liar.
He's your best friend.
Yeah, I know it's weird, but I think he feels threatened by you.
Why? I am so nice to him.
I just think he's too attached to me.
Yeah, he told me things he's never told anyone.
He had a really fucked-up childhood.
That is no excuse.
Look, I know, but listen.
(CRYING) No.
Will you listen, please? (KIERA SNIFFLES, SIGHS) (GROANS) (SIGHS, SNIFFLES) Fine.
When he was little, his parents were very happy and well off.
His mother was a duchess or something.
She traced her lineage back to the Russian royals, the ones that were murdered.
The raindrops CHRISTOPHER: Simon was so in love with her.
So many raindrops She was fragile and a bit private, so they only had a nanny from time to time.
Your mom and dad will be home soon.
You better get to bed, or they'll be cross.
Falling from my eyes Since my love has left me I'm so all alone Ondine? Why do you wear makeup? So I can look pretty.
But you already look pretty.
I don't know where she's gone Well, I want to look as pretty as I can.
There must be a cloud in my head Makes me feel special.
Rain keeps falling from my eye-eyes What if you're a boy? Boys don't wear makeup, Simon.
Why not? They just don't.
But what if I want to feel special? You'll have to find another way.
Raindrops (DOOR OPENS) (LAUGHS) Mummy! (LAUGHS) Well, what are you still doing up? He wanted to wait for you.
Mmm.
You know I love that.
Mmm.
George? You have to take Ondine back.
Right.
And you, my sugar candy, off to bed.
(KISSES) Good night.
Good night.
Rain keeps falling from my eye-eyes And brush your teeth.
He likes you.
NATALIE: And he's very particular, you know.
I love your earrings.
Are they antique? (LAUGHS) Thank you.
Yes.
They weigh a ton.
They were my grandmother's.
Gift from the czar of Russia.
Well, that's what we told the insurance company, anyway.
- (LAUGHS) - Thanks again.
Next time.
Right.
Train's leaving.
No pub.
This'll be waiting for you upstairs.
Perfect.
(ONDINE LAUGHING) (GASPS) (ENGINE STARTS) (CAR DEPARTING) Hello, Auntie.
Oh, Simon, go upstairs and play.
Where's Mummy? She's busy.
Go upstairs and play.
(NATALIE CRYING) (TRAY RATTLES GENTLY ON TABLE) What did I expect? (CRYING) I invited her into my house.
- (SHUSHES) - (SNIFFLES) There's no one to blame but him.
Oh.
(CRIES) (GEORGE AND NATALIE ARGUING IN DISTANCE) (GEORGE AND NATALIE CONTINUE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) (GLASS SHATTERS IN DISTANCE) (INDISTINCT SHOUTING CONTINUES) - GEORGE: How could you say to me - NATALIE: How could I say?! - That I was with her - You've been having an affair! GEORGE: An affair? What?! I can't believe you're - accusing me of doing some - You're a liar! - God's sake! - That is absolute nonsense! Stop it.
Stop lying to me, George.
GEORGE: Will you listen to yourself? I can't confess to something that you've imagined.
Oh, don't you dare.
You know I know, and now you can't even be a man and own up to it! Clearly you can't be reasoned with.
- I'm off to the pub.
- Right, of course.
Go on, then! Go to her! Get away from your own lunatic wife! (DOOR CLOSES) (DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE) Simon.
Sweetheart.
I'm sorry.
Everything's okay.
Mummy loves you.
Just go back to bed.
It'll all be better in the morning.
(EXHALES) (ENGINE STARTS) (DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE) RADIO ANNOUNCER: Good Saturday evening to you.
If you hear those cymbals, you know what time it is.
Pick of the Pops time.
We're gonna get things kicked off tonight.
We have something a little instructional for you girls and boys.
"How Do You Do It?" - (COUGHING) - The debut single from Liverpool band Gerry and the Pacemakers.
- How do you do - Mummy? What you do to me? I wish I knew Mummy? (COUGHING) How do you - Do what you do to me? - (COUGHING) - I'm feeling blue - (RATTLING DOOR) - Wish I knew how you do it to me - Help! - But I haven't a clue - Somebody! Help! - You give me - (HITTING DOOR) - A feeling in my heart - (GRUNTS IN PAIN) - Like an arrow - Oh! - Passin' through it - (CLATTERING, FLAMES CRACKLING) Suppose that you think you're very smart (CLATTERING) (GLASS BREAKS) (COUGHING) How do you do what you do to me? - (MUFFLED COUGHING) - (HITS WINDOW) (POUNDING ON WINDOW) (CONTINUES COUGHING) (DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE) - You give me a feeling in my heart - (COUGHING) - (CLATTERING) - Like an arrow Passin' through it Suppose that you think you're very smart But won't you tell me How do you do it? How do you do what you do to me? - If I only knew - (COUGHING) Then perhaps you'd fall for me Like I fell for you When I do it to you How do you do what you do to me? - If I only knew - (COUGHING) Then perhaps you'd fall for me - Like I - (ELECTRIC BUZZ) (MUSIC STOPS) (DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE) Help! Somebody, please! (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Make pumps four! Persons reported! You've got to stand back.
This is for your own safety.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER, SHOUTS) GEORGE: Please let me through! Let me through.
Simon! Simon, where's your mother? - Daddy! - Be still! Stay with me.
Sir, you'll have to stand back.
But my wife, she's in there.
This is your house? Well, where were you? I was in the pub.
My neighbor Harold came to get me.
I'm-I'm very sorry.
Where exactly is the bedroom? We couldn't get anything out of your son.
MINISTER: I am the resurrection and the life, said the Lord.
He that believeth in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.
And whosoever liveth and believeth in Me shall never die.
I know that my redeemer liveth.
And that He shall stand up at the last upon the earth, whom I shall see for myself and my eyes shall behold, and not another.
We brought nothing into the world, and it is certain that we can carry nothing out.
The Lord gave and the Lord taketh away.
- Is she in there? - Blessed be - the name of the Lord.
- Yes.
The eternal God - is thy refuge - Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure.
- Neither death nor life - How do you know? nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, - shall be able to separate us - I checked.
From the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.
What does she look like? Whether we live, we live unto the Lord, and whether we die, we die unto the Lord I don't know how you can live with yourself.
Belinda, please don't do this.
She knew everything.
You ruined her life.
You ruined her life the day you married her.
I know.
Now you're sorry, now that you've lost her.
You've betrayed her.
You've lied to her.
You treated her like she was worthless.
You should be the one in that box.
You think I don't know that? MINISTER: Remember not the sins and offenses of my youth, but according to Thy mercy, think Thou upon me, O Lord, for Thy goodness.
For in my Father's house, there are many mansions.
And He shall lead His flock like a shepherd, and He shall gather the lambs with His arms, and carry them in His bosom.
Let not your hearts be troubled, - neither let them be afraid, - (EXHALES) ye believe in God, believe also in me.
So rest eternal and grant unto them, O Lord, and let Thy light shine upon them.
There you are.
(SIGHS) (CLEARS THROAT) (SIGHING) You see? It's not so bad.
We can still get everything done the way it should be.
Everything shipshape and Bristol fashion.
Thank you, Daddy.
I'll teach you how to do it yourself.
It's even harder to tie on someone else, you know.
Ready? (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Well, off you go.
I'll be back to collect you at the end of the day.
Simon, it's nothing to be afraid of.
A new school is a new start.
Hey, King Tut.
After me, King Tut.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) Enjoy your lunch, King Tut.
Why do they keep calling me King Tut? Because you have a dead mummy.
Sorry.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS) So? How was it? Is my daddy dead? What? Oh.
No.
No, of course not.
Your daddy's fine.
He just got a little busy with work, so he asked me to help him out.
Why did he ask you? (SIGHS) Well I'm going to be taking care of you from now on.
Would you like that? For how long? For as long as your daddy and you need me.
I'll make you a proper breakfast.
I'll help you with your studies.
Are you going to be living with us? Well would you like that? - (SIGHS) - Simon now that your mummy's gone, well, your daddy's he's very lonely.
And it makes him sad.
Do you love my daddy? Yes.
Yes, I do.
I do love your daddy.
And I would like to come and stay with you and take good care of you both.
Why were you there when the house burned down? What are you talking about? I saw you.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
Simon what exactly are you trying to ask me? Go ahead.
(CHUCKLES): I'd be happy to answer.
Did you burn my house down? With my mummy inside it? No.
No, I didn't.
And it really hurts my feelings that you could say something like that.
In fact it makes me very angry.
And if you really thought that what you said was true, why would you want to make me angry? (TREMBLING EXHALE) If you ever speak of that again, ever I will cut your tongue out of your mouth, and then you won't be able to say anything to anyone.
Come along.
Let's get you a treat.
(ONDINE GIGGLING IN DISTANCE) ONDINE (LAUGHING): No! No! (ONDINE GIGGLING) - (ONDINE LAUGHS, SQUEALS) - (GEORGE GRUNTS) ONDINE (LAUGHS): No.
you're just gonna get hungry again, and I'm not going to cook for you in the middle of the night.
GEORGE (LAUGHING): I'll take starvation.
- (ONDINE GIGGLES) - Come here.
ONDINE: Ouch.
Mmm.
(ONDINE GIGGLING) (DOOR CREAKING) (FOOD SIZZLING) - Bacon? - Yes, please.
Look at that! You've done it all by yourself.
I told you he was independent.
Yes, he is.
He's independent and he's ready.
Aren't you, son? For what? Well It's been a Burrows tradition for many generations.
And I have to say that your education so far seems rather willy-nilly.
So I've decided to send you to public school starting next term.
When is that? (CHUCKLES): In the autumn.
Where? Well we'll try everywhere, but Cheltenham was good enough for me.
So I'm going away? You're so sharp.
We just want to make sure you have every advantage.
It's what every boy wants: freedom.
Was this your idea? Absolutely not.
Ondine has never tried to replace your mother.
She knows where Mummy lives in your memory.
In our memory.
And what she would have wanted for you.
You deserve happiness.
We all do.
Are you getting married? That has nothing to do with this.
Isn't this what you wanted? (CHUCKLES) CHRISTOPHER: So they sent him off to school.
He did well for himself.
But he never got over it.
Is that true? That's what he told me.
(EXHALES) How do you know he's not lying about that, too? Maybe just because it explains so much about the way he is.
(SIGHS) That is so terrible.
I feel so awful for him.
But I can't believe he fucking told me that.
Well, it makes sense, doesn't it? (CHUCKLES): I mean, look at you.
We have a future together.
He doesn't have anyone.
How do you think that makes him feel? (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) He's in love with you.
(CHUCKLES): Maybe.
Look, there's no excuse for what he did.
He saw another person slipping away, and he just thought about himself.
(SIGHS HEAVILY) So, what do we do? Just pretend like nothing happened? (SIGHS) Yeah.
He's great at it.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) - (CHURCH BELLS RINGING) - (CHEERING) (ENGINE STARTS) (GUESTS WHOOPING) SIMON: I saw him for a while at work, when he got back from his honeymoon.
And then he got transferred, first to Tokyo, and then I don't know.
We lost touch.
I know that I would sometimes wake in the middle of the night and imagine his arms around me.
It hurt so much that I started taking tranquilizers.
Drinking more.
Then I came back here because my father was dying.
And then Well, you all know what happened after that.
I'm happy to be alive.
As hard as it is.
But I just sort of accepted the fact that that no one would ever really know me again, and certainly not love me.
How could they? What am I? Even I don't know.
I'd like to feel better.
Sometimes I wonder if that's asking too much.
I mean, do I think I'll feel like everyone else? Are they all feeling so wonderful? Or are they just able to live each day without thinking about who they are, how they're being looked at.
I just stopped seeing a lot of things because they hurt.
(SNIFFS) But I've learned how to brush my teeth without ever looking in the mirror.
It's the only way to keep from ruining my whole day.
(SNIFFS) Thank you Simon, for sharing that.
Brittany, would you like to speak? (CAR ENGINE STARTS) You finally spoke.
How do you feel? Exposed.
Are you off to work? (INDISTINCT CHATTER) So, do you want to be called Simon? No, I want to be called King Tut.
(LAUGHS) Was that true? Who could make that up? Never underestimate the cruel ingenuity of the British schoolboy.
(CHUCKLES) I like the name Dana.
It suits you.
Well, my mother had a friend.
Uh, she died of breast cancer when I was 12.
But she always let me wear her gloves.
She could tell I liked them too much.
No such luck.
All my mother's things went to Ondine, and then I was shipped off, so I just started stealing things.
Did you get caught? I'm really good at being invisible.
Well, I saw you today.
Can we leave that be? It's a funny thing about group, because you almost get more out of other people talking.
You realize that, unlike everybody else, you have to fucking announce yourself to the world, and they just get to be the way they are.
I know, I know.
Life's not fair.
I don't know if you do know.
Because you still and I hope you don't take this the wrong way But you talk like a victim.
Well, I feel like one sometimes.
You're not.
You're really brave.
Everyone in that room is.
No one gives us credit.
We're just trannies, poofs, queers, whatever they want to call us.
But we can take more than anybody.
Look at this.
I got one like that there, I have one on my hip, a little smaller, and I have one on my thigh.
Do you know what they are? No.
Compound fractures.
Because I happened to be on the high street with a friend the night West Ham won the FA Cup.
And the only way they could think of to celebrate was to rip my wig off and literally break my bones till they burst through my skin.
Like they were trying to turn me inside out.
That's horrid.
But I'm not a victim, am I? Your heart was broken, but it heals just like bones.
Comes back stronger.
But you have to take control.
You have to fight back, and you have to stand up for yourself.
Because no one else will.
So "be a man.
" Isn't that the problem? I know.
Sometimes we're just as bad.
We want to be delicate, we want to wear makeup and pretty dresses, have someone catch us when we faint.
But that's not what women are.
That's what men say they are.
Think of the woman you want to become.
We all have one.
And she's tougher than a hundred hooligans.
My mother.
I'll bet she was strong.
Not at all.
But I loved her.
She always used to call me her sugar candy.
SIMON: Hello, Ondine.
Hello, Ondine.
(DOORBELL RINGS) Hello, Ondine.
Hello, Ondine.
Oh, Simon.
I hardly recognized you.
May I come in? Yes.
Of course.
Would you like some tea? No, thank you.
I can't stay long.
You've changed quite a bit.
I am who I always was.
You can just see it now.
Yes.
Well I think I always knew exactly who you were.
That would make perfect sense that you, of all people, could see me most clearly.
Perhaps it's true.
And perhaps that's why I can see that you're still scared.
You, on the other hand, you haven't changed a bit.
(LAUGHS) Why, thank you.
So what brings you here? I came to collect my mother's earrings.
I'm sure you know which ones.
Your father gave them to me.
They're a family heirloom.
They belong to me.
If it's money you want, I'd be happy to help.
I don't want money.
I want what's mine.
Nothing else.
I'm sorry, but they're not yours.
They're meant for the women in the family.
You may dress like a woman, but that doesn't mean that you are one.
The family? I'm a Romanov.
And you're just pretending.
It's all I'm asking from you.
After everything you did.
Oh, this again.
I am not the reason you turned out the way you did.
If you really loved your mother, you would have died trying to save her in that fire.
That's what my son would have done.
(INHALES DEEPLY) I'm not leaving without them.
I'm sorry, but they're not here.
They're in a safe in Geneva.
(DOOR OPENS) - (DOOR CLOSES) - JACK: Mum? I'm in here.
Oh, I didn't know you had a friend over.
Mm.
Will you be joining us for lunch? Jack, this is Simon.
Your brother.
O-Oh.
Uh It's nice to see you again.
Do you remember him? Um uh Not like this.
(LAUGHS) Well, it's been a while.
Jack is a writer.
He has a play at the Royal Court about Robespierre.
And he still takes his mum to lunch every week.
What brings you by? Just saying hello.
But I guess I better get going.
(STAMMERS) You're welcome to join us, if you'd like.
No.
No, Simon has to get on with things.
Or at least try.
Simon? It's Candace now.
It's you.
Hello, little brother.
What do you want from me? I read about your engagement and all your success, and I just had to come and find you.
(SHUDDERING) I'm-I'm sick.
Oh.
That's just the poison.
I put it in your drink.
(GASPS) What? Oh, I wouldn't panic if I were you.
It just makes it work faster.
(LABORED BREATHING) I don't understand.
Well I could have killed Ondine, but it's a little late, - don't you think? - (GAGS) After all, she's an old lady now.
What difference would it make? (GURGLING) Exactly.
I realized the only way I could really hurt her was to take away the thing she loves most.
Just as she took away what I loved most.
- Poor Ondine.
- (GAGS) She's going to have to suffer through what years she has left without her golden boy.
(WHEEZING): Help.
Someone.
Please.
(CHUCKLING): Oh.
No one can hear you.
(GASPING) And trust me, even if they could, it wouldn't make a difference.
It's too late.
(GASPING) You know, it's part of what happens when you become a woman of a certain age.
You're just paint on the wall.
(GASPING) But it turns out, it's actually quite an advantage.
I mean, if you had really looked at me when you sat down, none of this would have happened.
(WHEEZING) (GURGLING) (EXHALES) (P.
A.
BELL CHIMES) (MAN SPEAKING FRENCH OVER P.
A.
) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to London.
The local time is 2:28.
We will soon be arriving at Saint Pancras station.
Please make sure that you take your personal belongings when you leave the train.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) Excuse me, sir.
("WEST END GIRLS" BY PET SHOP BOYS PLAYING) (SPEAKS FRENCH) Sometimes you're better off dead There's a gun in your hand, it's pointing at your head You think you're mad, too unstable Kicking in chairs and knocking down tables In a restaurant in a West End town Call the police, there's a mad man around Running down underground to a dive bar in a West End town In a West End town, a dead-end world The East End boys and West End girls In a West End town, in a dead-end world The East End boys and West End girls West End girls Too many shadows, whispering voices Faces on posters, too many choices If, when, why, what? How much have you got? Have you got it, do you get it, if so how often? Which do you choose, a hard or soft option? How much do you need? In a West End town, a dead-end world The East End boys and West End girls In a West End town, in a dead-end world The East End boys and West End girls West End girls West End girls.