The Rookie: Feds (2022) s01e05 Episode Script
Felicia
1
Bet they complement the frame,
all man ♪
Daddy with the long legs, she go ham ♪
But she never on a string ♪
Plus the money ain't a thing ♪
SIMONE: Good morning, baby. [CHUCKLES]
I got these 'cause I figured
you was gonna be real thirsty
after all that sweet, sweet love
we made last night.
Simone, what the hell
are you talking about?
Just go with it.
It's our undercover backstory I made up.
See, I'm in a loveless marriage,
and I'm having this torrid
affair with my accountant.
- That's you, by the way.
- Stop.
You are doing way too much right now.
Backstories?
And your getup.
Where Where'd you get this hair?
Don't say nothing about Felicia.
You know damn well she cute.
Relax, Carter. Damn.
You still a suit
even with your legs out.
While you're all caught up in
this ridiculous backstory,
let's review the real one.
Why are we here?
To extradite Bernie Barlowe
back to the U.S.
to testify against Nugenius Industries.
He was their head I.T. guy,
and he defied a subpoena
and fled the country three months ago.
And might I say [CHUCKLES]
you good, Carter.
Good morning, Special Agent.
Oh, mes Ami, an island queen.
Mm. Belle chérie.
- Good morning, Inspector Denby.
- Morning.
Why Why Why
Why are you in uniform?
I told you I want this
to be a covert op.
Nobody cares about what you want, G-man.
You have no jurisdiction here.
Remember, you surrendered
your badge and your gun
at the airport along with your opinions.
This is my operation.
Wait, wait. There he is right there.
Suspect spotted.
Move in, move in, move in.
Wait, wait, wait. We
don't want to spook him.
Relax. Trust me.
Wah!
♪♪
[ENGINE STARTS]
- Aah!
- Whoa!
♪♪
♪♪
FBI! Stop running!
Stop chasing!
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
♪♪
Okay. I, uh I give
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
[GRUNTS] God.
- Wait. [GROANS]
- Go ahead, boo.
Catch your breath
'cause you're under arrest.
[FACETIME RINGS]
Hey, Carter.
Oh, good. Allen, you're there.
Tell me you caught
more than a tan, buddy.
No tan, but I did figure out what to get
my favorite Assistant U.S. Attorney
for his retirement gift.
Say hello, Bernie.
BERNIE: I hate you all.
Be nice. It's not their fault
you're stupid.
ALLEN: Fantastic work, Carter.
The other two witnesses
are ready to testify.
Barlowe's the last piece.
Now we can take Nugenius
all the way down.
What a way to sail off into the sunset.
My government pension is more like
fishing off a kayak in a muddy river.
G-man. Come.
The extradition papers
are ready for your signature.
Gotta go. We'll be
on the next flight out of here.
I'll call you as soon as they arrive.
Hey, I appreciate
your help on this, Matt.
Of course.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Oh, that's a nice purse.
ELENA: Oh, Tío, you sound so old.
It's a handbag.
Okay.
Is there a problem?
More of an ethical dilemma.
I bought this from an online reseller.
It came with a warranty,
a letter of authenticity,
and five big, fat diamonds
that were sticking out of the lining.
Are these real?
Yes.
- Can I keep them?
- No.
Um, how much to, uh, let me go?
You're in enough trouble
already fleeing the country.
Don't add attempted bribery
of a federal agent.
My twins made me bracelets like
that when they were in camp.
How old's your kid?
She's 14 now.
But when she gave me this, she was 9.
You really thought that running
was a good idea?
Better than being forced to testify.
Which I'm not doing, by the way.
- Oh, yeah, you are.
- Oh, no, I'm not.
So you might as well let me go, please.
Come on, I'm living the dream down here.
[CHUCKLES] Really?
'Cause you were day drinking
alone at 9:00 a.m.
- [CELLPHONE BUZZING]
- And if
that's the dream, you better wake up.
Don't you miss your daughter?
[BUZZING CONTINUES]
Hey, uh, D, don't judge
the hair. I'm at work.
I only got a quick second,
but I'm happy to see your face.
Well, I hope you still feel the same way
after I tell you why I called.
- What's wrong?
- How serious were you
about keeping our dating
a secret from your pops?
'Cause I kinda sorta
mentioned it to my mom.
What?
Sneaking around makes me feel
like I'm 15 and in the closet.
It's not like that. Okay?
My dad is uncomfortable with me
dating the daughter
of a woman he's dating.
My mom's pretty cool with it.
I mean, your dad might be, too.
Well, I guess we about to find out,
because I have to tell him
before your mom does,
- or it's gonna be extra drama.
- My bad.
- I didn't mean to
- You know what?
I gotta go. I-I gotta call him.
CARTER: We are officially done here.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
She's been lying to her daddy.
Wow.
You won't testify against
your crooked-ass employer,
but you're ready to drop dime on me.
Get in the car.
I will escort you to the airport.
Follow me.
- Let's go.
- Ow, ow.
♪♪
This is completely unacceptable.
Your case notes are absurd.
"Mr. Jenkins confessed,
and though his steely eyes stayed cold,
his heart cried like a newborn baby"?
- [SNORTS]
- It's an FBI case report,
not fan fiction.
Stick to the facts.
The facts are all there.
There's just a hint of panache.
Like Antoinette's lab coat.
Hi.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- Hi.
- Hey.
You're both needed in the fishbowl.
How'd you know we were in the elevator?
I know everything.
- Oh. Sorry.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I don't get it.
Every time I say anything to
her, she just ices me out.
She doesn't like anyone.
So please put away your actor-y
need to be loved,
and do not try to charm her,
you'll only piss her off.
The last thing we want is for
when our unit needs lab results,
we take a nose dive
down the priority list.
She wouldn't do that, would she?
Brendon, you can't win everyone over.
Challenge accepted.
Hey, boss. Nice, uh, handbag.
It's mine. Pretty fly, right?
Bought it on The Frillest.
- Oh, what's that?
- You don't know?
It's the top online retailer
of high-end stuff.
- Oh.
- After it was delivered,
I found those poking through the lining.
Wow.
And I thought I got the hookup
when I bought a handbag
and got a sunglasses case for free.
Does something look odd about
the stitching on this panel here?
- [FABRIC TEARS]
- [GASPS]
Oh! I know you didn't just rip my bag.
♪♪
Someone sewed hidden
pouches into this thing.
[SQUEALS]
- Tío.
- Oh.
Bingo. Yeah.
Wow. That has got to be
hundreds of thousands of dollars
worth of diamonds, right?
Why didn't I keep this to myself?
GARZA: Okay, we need to figure
out what's going on here.
Elena, contact this website
and get the seller's name.
In the meantime, bring those to the lab,
because people who are on
the right side of the law
usually don't hide diamonds like this.
Okay, but no more ripping?
That bag cost me $2,000.
$2,000? Elena.
- [SPEAKING FRENCH]
-
Oh, you know what? She's on the phone.
Let's just come back later.
Hey, hey. Where you going?
We're working a case.
- Let's go.
- Oh
Are you afraid of her?
No.
- Yes, you are.
- No, just Okay, be cool.
Cool is my middle name.
If it were, you wouldn't have said that.
Antoinette. Hi.
We have some possibly illicit
diamonds for you to look at.
Or if this is a bad time?
No.
[DIAMONDS RATTLING]
See that?
Every legit diamond in the U.S.
is graded by the GIA
- and given a serial number.
- Wow. Awesome.
- Who knew?
- You, one would assume,
given that you're an FBI special agent.
Ignore him. He's new.
Please, go on.
ANTOINETTE: This diamond,
and I'm assuming all the others,
were stolen from
an armed courier near L.A.X.
four months ago.
Reported to be worth
approximately $2 million.
LAPD's been puzzling
over this heist for months.
An armed courier picks up a shipment
of diamonds from a private plane.
They come across our first unsub,
a woman lying facedown on the street.
He gets out to check on her
when our second unsub,
another woman wearing a mask,
comes out of nowhere, tases him.
They grab the diamonds and
they're gone in less than a minute.
Hmm. An all-female heist crew. Respect.
Except somehow the stash ended
up hidden in Elena's purse.
Speaking of, the online reseller
responded to the warrant.
We got the name of the original seller.
Denise Palmer.
She's gotta be one of the robbers.
Let's get her in here now.
We can't. She's dead.
Shot and killed in front of her own home
the night of the diamond heist.
Well, it could have been a double-cross.
Think about it.
They have a falling out,
the partner kills Denise,
and didn't know
where she hid the diamonds.
- It's very film noir.
- Hope I'm wrong.
I hate it when women
backstab each other.
Guess then the only question left is,
if this Denise Palmer has been
dead for four months,
then how did she sell Elena her handbag?
- Ooh-ah ♪
- De La Geezy, homie.
De La, MishCatt ♪
Sofía ♪
I get goofy every time I hear
you say my name, ooh-ah ♪
Are you two hungry?
'Cause I'm I am starving.
You ever have pigeon pea soup
with ackee and tree mutton?
I know it it sounds like
roadkill soufflé,
but it is delicious.
You know, there's a-a
great spot where they, uh
I'll make you a deal.
Stop talking and I give you
my peanuts on the plane.
Thanks, but I'm allergic to nuts
and prison.
So could we, um,
maybe not be in such a hurry
to take me back to the U.S.?
I thought you'd want to get back
to see your daughter.
If my ex lets her visit me.
Before I skipped town, I only got
to see her once every other week.
Tough divorce?
Eh, it was my fault.
I gave my life to Nugenius Industries
and was never around.
It's gotta be more than that if
your ex-wife has sole custody.
Well, I cheated on her a lot.
And I had a teeny,
tiny gambling problem.
How teeny, tiny?
I lost our house
betting on a llama race.
[ENGINE REVS]
Wait. Where's Denby going?
[ENGINE REVS]
♪♪
[GUNS COCK]
Denby just sold us out.
We don't have our weapons.
Open up! Give us Barlowe! Now!
♪♪
- Okay. Okay. Stay cool.
- SIMONE: I'm cool.
I'm counting six guns aimed at us.
What's the move?
Aren't you guys trained
to negotiate or something?
Good point.
Watch me negotiate this steering wheel.
Hold on!
[GUNFIRE]
It's our turn ♪
[GUNFIRE]
♪♪
As good as it gets, we blowin' minds ♪
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
We're clear! Whoo!
See? You should let me drive more often.
Didn't I say stay cool?!
Are we alive right now?
Who the hell were those guys,
and what do they want with you?
I-I don't know.
We need to find a safe place
to lie low and figure out what's what.
Shake up the world ♪
Make that history ♪
Write down our name ♪
- For all the kids to read ♪
- [CELLPHONE RINGS]
Hey, Carter. What's up?
The op is compromised.
Local PD set us up
for an ambush to grab Barlowe.
We evaded and are looking
for a place to hide.
Okay, listen to me.
Remember, this is a small island.
There are eyes and ears everywhere.
So whatever you do, you trust
no one. Do you understand?
Nugenius has to be behind this.
Who else would be this invested
to take Barlowe right now?
Let's assume they're tracking
your devices.
Assume they're listening to us
right now.
Once we hang up, you destroy
the phones immediately.
What? No No guns and no phones?
This is getting way past ridiculous.
Get your hands on a burner phone
while I work on getting you
an exfiltration.
Contact me as soon as you can.
Listen, I'm gonna get you home, okay?
Thanks, Matt.
Give me your phone.
I took some real good
beach selfies on this.
Upload them to the cloud first, okay?
No problem.
Not those clouds.
Damn.
Your wife's Frillest account
was used to sell this handbag.
That was me.
I've been using Denise's account
to sell her stuff.
Since her murder,
I've been trying to find a way
to honor her memory,
so I figured I could donate the money
to a cause she cared about.
So this was Denise's bag?
Hmm.
I don't understand.
Is there a break in the case?
We think so.
On the morning of your wife's murder,
two women robbed an armed courier
of $2 million in diamonds
right outside L.A.X.
Where your wife worked.
The stolen diamonds were found in
hidden pockets sewn into the lining.
I don't
What are you saying?
I'm sorry to have to tell you this, sir,
but we believe your wife
was one of the robbers.
That's insane.
No, she was quiet.
She liked board games.
I mean, she had an herb garden.
I No, Denise couldn't have
done something like this.
I would have known.
Except according to the police report,
you were in San Diego at the time.
Yeah, it was a business trip.
Maybe that's why she planned
the heist for that time.
- To keep it from you.
- No.
Denise wasn't a diamond thief.
That just wasn't her.
Was it?
Let's pull up anything
we can find on Denise
Phone records, socials, the works.
Yeah, he may not feel like
his wife had anything to do
- with the heist, but
- On it.
- So can I get my bag back now?
- Nope.
Still evidence in an open investigation.
Simone and Carter are in trouble.
Sit-room. Now.
♪♪
It would've taken like two
seconds to upload those selfies.
I mean, the wind was
blowing Felicia around
in all sorts of cute directions.
And my skin was poppin' in that sunset.
I know a man that carries
a multi-tool in his pocket
is not judging.
Oh, this little guy here? Be thankful.
He might have just saved our lives.
BARLOWE: Yeah, or prolonged
the inevitable.
- Face it we're gonna die here.
- Quiet.
All right, I saw a street market
about a mile back.
You stay with him.
I'll go buy a burner and call Garza.
Well, I don't mean to offend,
but you could smell
the Fed all over you.
I mean, you should let me do it.
Felicia and I will fit in
much better than
No, no, you stay.
I don't want to die with him.
I-I-I want my last moments to be fun.
Nobody is gonna die out here, okay?
I can do this. Trust me.
Okay, but be careful.
Come on, Felicia.
Bye, Felicia.
LAURA: What? How did you get
a live satellite feed?
Senator "Smith" rerouted Polaris 7
over the island for us.
Who is Senator Smith?
Don't worry about that right now.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
Hey, how you doing?
You never saw me.
[ RINGING]
[CELLPHONE BUZZING]
Yes. Hello?
Oh, uh, yes. [BUTTONS CLICKING]
Hey, Simone. Hey, h-h where are you?
- [SIREN CHIRPS]
- I'm in the
Salt Mills Market on Bay Street
in a big-ass hat.
And Denby's boys
are swarming this place,
most likely looking for my ass.
Sit tight, Simone, okay?
- Find her right now.
- LAURA: Yep.
[KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING]
- Matt, I need a minute.
- Not right now, Allen.
One of my star witnesses checked himself
into a mental health facility.
Another recanted
her testimony this morning.
Some mercenaries
just tried to kill Barlowe.
He's trapped on the island
with Simone and Carter.
He's the last witness we've got.
Okay, looks like
Nugenius is trying to do
whatever it takes to kill your case.
- Where Where are they?
- Simone is at a street market.
We're trying to get her out right
now. Here's what you can do.
Contact the State Department
- in case we need a diplomatic solution.
- I'm on it.
SIMONE: Hey. What y'all getting?
It's nice. Real nice.
I like your hair, babe.
Hey, how you doing? How you doing?
How's everybody? All right.
LAURA: Found her.
Simone, there are two entrances
to the market.
The south entrance is blocked
by a police cruiser.
Head north then turn right
at the T, toward the wharf.
Hurry. The cops are closing in
on that area.
Oh.
No.
♪♪
Denby's here.
Y'all, I'm trapped.
Any ideas? I'm not gonna be able
to avoid them much longer.
Okay, we need a new way out for her.
Some sort of distraction. Something.
ELENA: I'm scrolling
ClipTalk, and there's
a flying dress shoot
coming Simone's way.
What? What is a flying dress shoot?
It's women who photograph themselves
with long trains flipping in the wind.
Yeah, of course you'd know that.
Okay, Simone, listen to me.
Do you see a woman up ahead
in a yellow dress?
Yeah. I'm gonna ride that train
right outta here.
Girl, I did one of these when
I was in Santorini one year.
The trick is to make the dress fly.
I got you.
Let me just get behind you, cute thing.
Wake the town, we tell them loud ♪
We coming now, boom ♪
So gwan jump up ♪
Anywhere you deh
now grab on pan a truck ♪
Anywhere you deh
now grab on pan a truck ♪
All if the volume buck ♪
Den the place want bust up
Inna 2 girl ♪
Gwan jump up ♪
SIMONE: I'm clear!
Gwan jump ♪
[SIGHS] Okay.
Find new transportation.
Pick up Barlowe and Carter.
The jet will be arriving on
a private airstrip in an hour.
I'm sending the coordinates now.
SIMONE: Yes, sir.
[HORN HONKS]
Hop in, mother truckers.
[LAUGHS] We got a flight to catch.
How'd you get this?
Felicia.
Damn straight.
Get in the back. Lay down.
And it's head to toe, my dude.
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
Oh. [GROANS]
As requested, I went through
Denise Palmer's phone records.
Anything stand out?
One or two things.
Like, a week before the heist,
Denise chatted with a guy
named Logan Anders,
and they met for drinks.
- Huh. An affair?
- I don't know.
But he's an armed courier
for Emory Security.
Was he the driver during the heist?
No. He was working
in Chatsworth that day.
His alibi's tight.
That doesn't mean he
couldn't help Denise plan it.
Yeah, let's see what we can find out.
Oh, yeah, I remember her.
That chick was smoking h
I mean that woman is intelligent.
Hmm.
But wait. You said her name was Denise?
No, she told me her name was Thelma.
What'd you guys, uh, talk about?
Well, Thelma was really
interested in my job.
You know, asked me all these questions
about being an armed courier.
Like training, protocols
She was way into me.
- Sure.
- And then her friend shows up,
and she was super hot, too.
Uh, uh I mean, intelligent.
Uh, what friend?
Her name's Louise.
♪♪
- [CLEARS THROAT]
- Right.
Let me get this straight.
They introduced themselves
to you as Thelma and Louise,
asked you questions about
your job as an armed courier,
and you didn't catch on that maybe
they were gonna use the information
you gave them to commit a crime?
Whoa. Yeah.
Now that you did the math for me,
I see what you're saying.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Well, shame on me for not thinking
that women could be
criminal masterminds.
So [CHUCKLES] why don't you go
ahead and describe the woman
who introduced herself as Louise?
Like I said, intelligent.
Oh, and she had a super sexy Li
I-I mean, super artistic tattoo
of a barbed wire on her neck.
This Louise woman has got to be
Denise's accomplice.
And possibly her murderer.
I'm gonna have Elena dig deeper
into the people in Denise's life,
see if we can get a match
for that tattoo.
Oh. Sorry. [CHUCKLES]
Didn't mean to scare you.
I couldn't help but overhear
in your conversation.
Did you Did you say
you're a Benneteau?
As in Benneteau Vineyards?
If you're not here
about the case, go away.
Uh, no, it's just that that
That wine is amazing. [CHUCKLES]
I got a bottle of the
'96 Syrah from my agent
for the 100th episode of "Vampire Cop."
This This little, uh
Who cares? The Syrah is amazing.
I'm so happy for you.
I'm sorry your family's
being so hard on you.
You should be sorry you
eavesdropped on my conversations.
I-I just I know exactly
what you're going through.
Your family also owns a
multimillion-dollar corporation
and is shouldering its future on you?
No, not exactly. [CHUCKLES]
But my dad forced me into acting
when I was a kid.
It was It was his dream,
and when it didn't work out,
he became obsessed
with having me succeed.
So I just I remember the pressure.
I'm glad you're pushing back.
It's a It's a good thing.
I wish I'd done it sooner.
♪♪
CARTER: This just doesn't make sense.
Why is Nugenius Industries
trying to kill you and not the others?
- How should I know?
- What aren't you telling us?
Seems like you're not hiding
from the government.
You're hiding from Nugenius.
I-I don't want to talk about it.
Okay.
Let's talk about your daughter.
Is she a daddy's girl?
Abby? Oh, yeah, sure is.
What kind of things do
you guys do together?
Ride bikes. On my weekends.
T-That That's what we do. For hours.
My ex even lets me keep my
bike equipment in the garage,
and she hates me, so
that's that's how much
Abby loves riding with me.
Loved. Hm? Past tense.
You've been gone
for three months, Bernie.
Sounds to me like
- you and Abby need each other.
You have to make things right
and tell the truth.
Talk to me.
Talk to your father.
I mean, weren't you supposed to call him
and tell him how you've been lying?
I forgot.
Don't worry about my problems, okay?
Fix your own.
♪♪
I'm gonna hit the head.
Shoot.
[TABLET BUTTONS CLICKING]
[FACETIME RINGING]
SIMONE: Hey, Daddy, listen.
I-I need to tell you something.
What? That you've been hooking
up with Dina against my wishes?
Too late.
I am so sorry.
Ruth and I really like each other.
And it's gonna be
all types of awkward between us
when you and Dina break up.
When we break up? Thanks a lot.
I Wait.
Why are you whispering?
RUTH: Cutty, where'd you go?
Who you talking to?
[GASPS] Simone!
Hi!
Hey, Ms. Ruth.
Dina adores everything about you.
You know, we really should get together,
get to know each other better.
You should all have a double date.
Oh, well, hello. Uh, great idea.
Dinner tonight?
Ms. Ruth, I have had a really long day.
Oh, no, no, no, honey, don't
worry. I will arrange everything.
I'm calling Dina now.
- Bye. [GIGGLES]
- I
No, Daddy. Not that look.
Dinner's gonna be so much fun.
When we get to 30,000 feet,
I'm throwing your ass out.
♪♪
[SIGHS] Welcome home.
You're looking good, Simone.
- Don't I always?
- Of course.
Nice shorts there, Carter.
- My undercover look for the island.
- [STIFLED CHUCKLE]
I-I had a suit, but it's still
in the rental, which is
Regardless, as promised
Bernie Barlowe.
Long time no see, Mr. Barlowe.
Glad you made it home in one piece.
Rest assured, you'll be safe
in protective custody
- until the trial.
- No, don't don't bother.
Like I told them,
I'm I'm not testifying.
Understand that you will do
serious prison time if you refuse.
Oh, I understood it
when I fled the country.
So, come what may.
Can I have a few minutes with him?
Of course.
That way, sassy pants.
Come on, Bernie.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SIGHS] Back in my
guidance counselor days,
I watched a lot of kids who took
their lies to their graves,
all because they didn't want
to face the consequences.
But not you.
It's like you welcome them.
- I'm not following you.
- [CHUCKLES]
See? That's how you lost your house.
'Cause you don't have a poker face.
So why would you sacrifice more
time away from your daughter?
Nugenius bought you off.
They paid you to disappear.
Well, what do you have on them, Bernie?
Enough dirt to give my daughter
a cozy trust fund.
When I was 14,
I lost my father to the prison system
for a crime he didn't even commit.
When he was exonerated
eight years later,
the city cut him a big fat check
with a whole lot of zeros.
None of it was enough to make up
for what we lost
Being without him.
Cooperate, Bernie, and
the DOJ will cut you a deal.
But then I'd have to
give the money back.
That's not gonna happen.
Well, let me tell you
what is gonna happen.
If you refuse to testify,
I will tear your financial life apart.
And sooner or later,
I will find that money and take it away.
Believe that.
And that's if you can find it.
Bit of advice [CHUCKLES]
don't bet against me, sassy pants.
You will lose.
I, um I need time to think.
You have till morning.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
♪♪
- Ooh, ohh ♪
- Ooh, ohh ♪
[LAUGHTER]
These two.
RUTH: You know, I've been wondering
if you named her after Nina Simone.
Actually, Simone
is my mom's middle name.
- But she is my favorite alto.
- DINA: Me, too.
Oh, Nina, she moved effortlessly
through many genres,
and the beauty and heartache
of her tone ooh, special.
- Ohh.
- My baby's got good taste.
Look at us vibin'.
See, you thought it was
gonna be weird, huh, Daddy?
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
- Go answer that door.
- We having a good time.
- Cheers to us.
- Cheers to us.
- MEL: Hey, hey!
- Hey.
- Got your message.
- Hey, man.
- A romantic soiree, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
Now I see why you needed
these Coltrane classics.
[CHUCKLES] I added a little
Sonny Rollins in there for you, too.
Yeah, I wondered where my Sonny went.
Oh, my Sonny was at my house
where he lives.
You borrowed him from me and now
I'm loaning him back to you.
No, no, no. You're thinking
about Thelonious Monk.
Oh, we're gonna have this
argument till we're old, is that right?
Oh, we're old now
and we're having it now.
Come on, get out. Thanks.
Hey, there, Simone.
How you doing, girl?
Hey, Mel. Good to see you.
Good to be seen.
Okay, Mel. Come on, man.
Yeah, hold on. I'm leav I'm leaving.
You two pretty ladies
have a good evening,
and make sure these
roughnecks treat you right.
Oh.
Mel, this is actually
my girlfriend, Dina.
Oh my bad. [CHUCKLES]
[CLEARS THROAT] Man, your mind
must be blown, too.
She might as well just date a dude.
Watch your damn mouth.
That's not for you to question or judge.
- Y-You ignorant
- Daddy.
Now you just take your
simple-minded opinion out of my house!
- Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm out. I'm out.
- Right now! Out!
I can't believe that just happened.
Yeah, some people need to learn.
No, I mean you.
My ex-husband had anger issues,
and I don't ever want
to be around that energy again.
I mean, if your rage
is that close to the surface
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
I'm not sure I know you
as well as I thought.
I want you, I want you ♪
Hey, Elena.
Hey. I found the lady
with the barbed wire tat.
She worked with our victim at L.A.X.
Her name's Aria Lansing.
Nice job. We'll go pick her up.
- Oh, I already did.
- Excuse me?
Well, I didn't pick her up
personally. I had LAPD do it.
- W-Where are you?
- Mid-Wilshire station.
She's in holding.
Want me to question her?
Uh, no, no, no. We'll be right there.
Wow, Elena just pulled a Simone.
BRENDON: Let's go.
[BUZZER] [DOOR OPENS]
That's them.
Hey.
On a scale of one to tell
my boss/uncle and get me fired,
how mad are you?
Well, you managed to do our jobs
without breaking the law
or getting hurt,
so I guess I'm more
threatened than angry?
But I'm not covering for you
if Garza asks where you've been.
Copy. See you back at the office.
[BUZZER]
LAURA: Aria Lansing?
I'm Special Agent Stensen.
This is Special Agent Acres.
Why am I here?
We want to talk to you
about Denise Palmer.
You were, uh, friends?
Yeah. At work.
It's not like we were besties.
Oh, okay.
What about your, uh Your alter egos?
Thelma and Louise, right?
Were they besties?
We know about the diamond heist.
What are you talking about?
We know Denise had the diamonds
hidden when she was gunned down,
and clearly you didn't
know where they were.
I mean, I'd be upset if my partner
in crime didn't give me my cut.
Okay, um
look, um, I didn't kill her, okay?
Denise came to me with the idea.
I thought she was crazy at
first, but she was determined,
and I was [SIGHS] bored and broke.
Okay, so what happened after the heist?
Uh, we met for dinner
at the Seabury Hotel.
Just talked about what
we would each do with the money.
Um, she had it all worked out.
She said she was gonna wait a
couple weeks for the heat to die down
and then unload the stones in Belgium.
You weren't gonna go with her?
Oh, no. I'm scared of flying.
And I trusted her.
She was gonna wire me my cut
and then go live out there.
Wait. She wasn't coming back?
She said she couldn't wait to buy
a one-way ticket, never to return.
Hmm.
Why would she say that?
One guess who she was
trying to get away from.
Did you find out something new?
Mr. Palmer, you said,
and in your statement to LAPD,
that you were in San Diego
when your wife was murdered.
Right. Was on business.
Well, I got this from
the hotel's parking garage.
Records show you left at 5:17 p.m.
and didn't return until after 11:00.
Plenty of time to
drive to L.A. and back.
How dare you.
Since Denise isn't here
to speak for herself,
I will say it for her. You're an abuser.
Possessive, cruel.
And on that night Jealous.
You're wrong.
You know, there's one way
to identify people like you,
and that's by the actions
of your partners.
And for Denise to be desperate enough
to pull off a crime like that
well, that tells me everything
I need to know about you.
Lady, you don't know anything.
Sure, I do.
Your phones were on the same plan.
You could have easily
tracked her on an app.
You saw that she was at the
Seabury Hotel and you snapped.
- That's not true.
- It is.
You thought she was having an affair,
so you rushed back to L.A. in a rage,
and that's when you got back
just in time to see her arrive home.
- And you shot her.
- No. Mnh-mnh.
Know why?
[WHISPERS] You're weak.
Bitch! [GROANS]
I could say the same about you.
[GROANS]
She was cheating on me,
but she was playing dumb.
I didn't want to kill her, I swear.
I just wanted the truth.
Denise wasn't having an affair.
She was planning her escape
from you.
Hey.
Finally retired the braids, huh?
I went back to being me,
so I said, "Bye, Felicia."
- [CHUCKLES]
- How's our boy Barlowe?
Well, he is at Allen's office
right now, working out a deal.
What you said last
night got through to him.
Say what now?
And it turns out Barlowe
knew more than we thought.
Nugenius has this new
billion-dollar proprietary resin
for artificial bones,
just approved by the FDA.
Barlowe has a hard drive of proof
that the lab results were doctored.
The resin breaks down in the body.
Nugenius knew this
and still went to market.
Damn.
No wonder Bernie was scared.
These people are evil.
You two need to see this right now.
I had a friend at the DOJ
open an investigation
on Inspector Denby.
Good. 'Cause that scrub tried
to kill us on that island.
They traced phone records
and found out who hired him
to go after Barlowe.
Someone from Nugenius Industries?
No.
♪♪
Allen.
This can't be right.
He and I worked this case for years.
Sorry, Carter. He's on the take.
This explains how they knew how
to get to all those witnesses,
including Barlowe,
and how Denby knew to look for you
- at that street market.
- Let's go get his ass.
Well, I called Allen's office,
and he and Barlowe left
to retrieve a hard drive
that's got all this evidence on it.
Anybody know where?
Barlowe didn't want it on any record.
- Part of his deal, I guess.
- Okay, let's think about this.
The government has already seized
all of Barlowe's assets here and abroad.
So it's not anywhere official,
like a bank or P.O. box,
or we'd already have it.
His ex-wife's garage.
He stores his bike equipment there
for when he goes to visit
with his daughter.
I don't know, Simone.
That seems like a long shot.
- It's the only shot we got.
- Go, guys.
♪♪
[DOOR CLOSES]
Everything you need to put
Nugenius Industries away is on there.
My ticket to freedom.
As an A-USA, I'm licensed
to carry a concealed weapon.
Cool.
As an I.T. guy, I get free Internet.
I'm gonna tell the police
that you flipped out,
came after me.
That's why I had to do it.
You'd, uh, do what?
[GUN COCKS]
[HARD DRIVE CLANKS]
♪♪
You did what you did for your family.
I'm doing the same.
Allen, don't.
- What the hell are you doing, man?
- I'm broke, Carter.
All I got is my government pension,
and Tina got half of that
in the divorce.
So you sold out to the
people we were dedicated
- to bring to justice?
- I don't want to die.
SIMONE: I promised you, Bernie.
You won't.
Allen, I get it.
The money is tempting,
but murdering a man?
That's not who you are. Let him go.
Screw it. I'm not going to prison.
- Don't.
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]
That worked just like in the movies.
Ahh, that hurts.
[HANDCUFFS CLICKING]
Was that the drive?
Good thing it's not the only one I have.
- Where's the other one?
- I'll tell you.
But, uh, first, I'm gonna need
to negotiate a better deal.
Bernie Barlowe.
It was foolish to try ♪
[SIGHS] Man.
SIMONE: Stop festering.
'Cause you're still in my heart ♪
Talk, Daddy.
I shouldn't have lost my temper.
Why were you so triggered?
Nobody talks down to my child.
I don't need you to fight my battles.
Well, it's just
your sexuality is confusing.
Yeah, sometimes you bring home
women, sometimes men,
sometimes folks with no gender
at all. [CHUCKLES]
So that means sometimes
I gotta fight for you.
[LAUGHS] I am an
equal-opportunity lover.
Ohh.
D-Do you have to understand
who and why I choose to love?
No.
If you're happy, I'm happy.
Love is love. Period.
That's what I should have told Mel
instead of acting a fool.
Mm-hmm.
[SIGHS] Ruth is not talking to me.
Well, we will work on that.
She's a forgiving woman.
We just gotta remind her
that you really are
just a big ol' teddy bear.
Now, come here.
- [LAUGHS]
- Bring it in.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
What am I gonna do with you? Huh?
I will, too ♪
Aww. You shouldn't have.
I didn't. These are for Cutty.
Cutty, my mom really likes you,
and she knows your heart.
Give her these. They're her favorite.
And she's home right now.
Oh, Dina, Dina. [CHUCKLES]
I owe you big time.
[LAUGHS]
I love y'all! [LAUGHS]
Go get her, Daddy.
Darlin' ♪
I realized that
A lot of this is my fault.
I should have never told my mom about us
without discussing it with you.
D, there's a lot of blame
to go around here,
and not all of it belongs to you.
I do like, um,
Casablanca lilies, though.
The next time you feel
the need to apologize.
Do you mind if I apologize
in another way?
♪♪
You forgive, I will, too ♪
[LAUGHS]
I think I got a few minutes
before my dad comes back.
Okay.
- Come on, baby. Come on.
- Let's do it.
It's still heart healthy, but I added
a pinch of cheese just this once.
I can't get your handbag
out of evidence.
Not until the case is adjudicated.
And that could take months, okay?
I know.
Elena.
Should I be worried?
You're a grown woman. You can do
what you want with your money.
But I know how much you get paid here.
And, well, spending two grand
on a handbag seems
Stupid?
I was gonna use
a less judgmental adjective.
I bought it because I knew I
could sell it for twice the price.
So wait. This is This is
some sort of side hustle?
I got student loans to pay, Tío.
[SIGHS] Elena
you came here to temp for
a week as a favor to me, right?
That was over a year ago.
You are brilliant enough
to be making big money
anywhere you want to go.
I know.
Why aren't you out there?
Chasing your passion?
Doing what you love?
I don't know what that is yet.
That's fair.
Just
promise you won't stay here out of some
familial obligation to me, huh?
I like this job.
The pace, the unpredictability.
And I really enjoy
bossing people around.
- You're good at it.
- [CHUCKLES] Right?
So, for now, I'm happy.
When that changes, you'll know.
That I feel the same way ♪
Thanks for the cheese.
When I don't ♪
When I don't ♪
Hey, how you doing?
Why must you be so chipper all the time?
Oh, I don't know. It's just my thang.
It's really annoying.
I'm a setting sun ♪
♪♪
Ouch. She hates you.
Oh, well, that tracks.
I'll be gone ♪
I'll be gone ♪
Just let me shine on ♪
Shine on ♪
Wow.
What?
A '96 Syrah. It's very rare.
Who gave it to you?
Just let me shine on ♪
Shine on ♪
Before I'm gone ♪
How do you feel?
- Like I need a job.
- [CHUCKLES]
You hiring?
We don't hire criminals. We arrest them.
I got full immunity.
Not until you tell us
where that second hard drive is.
Ooh. Can't be late.
- For what?
- Bike riding with my daughter.
Good for you.
Weathering this storm ♪
Location of the drive.
Thanks for everything.
And you? You still suck.
Goodbye.
Just let me shine on ♪
Shine on ♪
[LAUGHS]
What? Where's the second drive?
♪♪
SIMONE: Case closed.
Finally.
It's prettier than I remember.
That's 'cause you finally got the
stick named Barlowe out your ass.
BRENDON: Simone.
Merci beaucoup.
Tell you what $2 million payout,
I could see myself getting lost here.
- Yeah.
- Yep.
Anybody know where we can
find $2 million for Brendon?
- [LAUGHTER]
- I feel you, B.
'Cause I can retire down here in style.
Okay. Back it up, Probies.
You guys just got into the game.
And you both have a lot more
seasons to play, so
I'll drink to that.
- Cheers, y'all.
- Salud.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
♪♪
Bet they complement the frame,
all man ♪
Daddy with the long legs, she go ham ♪
But she never on a string ♪
Plus the money ain't a thing ♪
SIMONE: Good morning, baby. [CHUCKLES]
I got these 'cause I figured
you was gonna be real thirsty
after all that sweet, sweet love
we made last night.
Simone, what the hell
are you talking about?
Just go with it.
It's our undercover backstory I made up.
See, I'm in a loveless marriage,
and I'm having this torrid
affair with my accountant.
- That's you, by the way.
- Stop.
You are doing way too much right now.
Backstories?
And your getup.
Where Where'd you get this hair?
Don't say nothing about Felicia.
You know damn well she cute.
Relax, Carter. Damn.
You still a suit
even with your legs out.
While you're all caught up in
this ridiculous backstory,
let's review the real one.
Why are we here?
To extradite Bernie Barlowe
back to the U.S.
to testify against Nugenius Industries.
He was their head I.T. guy,
and he defied a subpoena
and fled the country three months ago.
And might I say [CHUCKLES]
you good, Carter.
Good morning, Special Agent.
Oh, mes Ami, an island queen.
Mm. Belle chérie.
- Good morning, Inspector Denby.
- Morning.
Why Why Why
Why are you in uniform?
I told you I want this
to be a covert op.
Nobody cares about what you want, G-man.
You have no jurisdiction here.
Remember, you surrendered
your badge and your gun
at the airport along with your opinions.
This is my operation.
Wait, wait. There he is right there.
Suspect spotted.
Move in, move in, move in.
Wait, wait, wait. We
don't want to spook him.
Relax. Trust me.
Wah!
♪♪
[ENGINE STARTS]
- Aah!
- Whoa!
♪♪
♪♪
FBI! Stop running!
Stop chasing!
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
♪♪
Okay. I, uh I give
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
[GRUNTS] God.
- Wait. [GROANS]
- Go ahead, boo.
Catch your breath
'cause you're under arrest.
[FACETIME RINGS]
Hey, Carter.
Oh, good. Allen, you're there.
Tell me you caught
more than a tan, buddy.
No tan, but I did figure out what to get
my favorite Assistant U.S. Attorney
for his retirement gift.
Say hello, Bernie.
BERNIE: I hate you all.
Be nice. It's not their fault
you're stupid.
ALLEN: Fantastic work, Carter.
The other two witnesses
are ready to testify.
Barlowe's the last piece.
Now we can take Nugenius
all the way down.
What a way to sail off into the sunset.
My government pension is more like
fishing off a kayak in a muddy river.
G-man. Come.
The extradition papers
are ready for your signature.
Gotta go. We'll be
on the next flight out of here.
I'll call you as soon as they arrive.
Hey, I appreciate
your help on this, Matt.
Of course.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Oh, that's a nice purse.
ELENA: Oh, Tío, you sound so old.
It's a handbag.
Okay.
Is there a problem?
More of an ethical dilemma.
I bought this from an online reseller.
It came with a warranty,
a letter of authenticity,
and five big, fat diamonds
that were sticking out of the lining.
Are these real?
Yes.
- Can I keep them?
- No.
Um, how much to, uh, let me go?
You're in enough trouble
already fleeing the country.
Don't add attempted bribery
of a federal agent.
My twins made me bracelets like
that when they were in camp.
How old's your kid?
She's 14 now.
But when she gave me this, she was 9.
You really thought that running
was a good idea?
Better than being forced to testify.
Which I'm not doing, by the way.
- Oh, yeah, you are.
- Oh, no, I'm not.
So you might as well let me go, please.
Come on, I'm living the dream down here.
[CHUCKLES] Really?
'Cause you were day drinking
alone at 9:00 a.m.
- [CELLPHONE BUZZING]
- And if
that's the dream, you better wake up.
Don't you miss your daughter?
[BUZZING CONTINUES]
Hey, uh, D, don't judge
the hair. I'm at work.
I only got a quick second,
but I'm happy to see your face.
Well, I hope you still feel the same way
after I tell you why I called.
- What's wrong?
- How serious were you
about keeping our dating
a secret from your pops?
'Cause I kinda sorta
mentioned it to my mom.
What?
Sneaking around makes me feel
like I'm 15 and in the closet.
It's not like that. Okay?
My dad is uncomfortable with me
dating the daughter
of a woman he's dating.
My mom's pretty cool with it.
I mean, your dad might be, too.
Well, I guess we about to find out,
because I have to tell him
before your mom does,
- or it's gonna be extra drama.
- My bad.
- I didn't mean to
- You know what?
I gotta go. I-I gotta call him.
CARTER: We are officially done here.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
She's been lying to her daddy.
Wow.
You won't testify against
your crooked-ass employer,
but you're ready to drop dime on me.
Get in the car.
I will escort you to the airport.
Follow me.
- Let's go.
- Ow, ow.
♪♪
This is completely unacceptable.
Your case notes are absurd.
"Mr. Jenkins confessed,
and though his steely eyes stayed cold,
his heart cried like a newborn baby"?
- [SNORTS]
- It's an FBI case report,
not fan fiction.
Stick to the facts.
The facts are all there.
There's just a hint of panache.
Like Antoinette's lab coat.
Hi.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- Hi.
- Hey.
You're both needed in the fishbowl.
How'd you know we were in the elevator?
I know everything.
- Oh. Sorry.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I don't get it.
Every time I say anything to
her, she just ices me out.
She doesn't like anyone.
So please put away your actor-y
need to be loved,
and do not try to charm her,
you'll only piss her off.
The last thing we want is for
when our unit needs lab results,
we take a nose dive
down the priority list.
She wouldn't do that, would she?
Brendon, you can't win everyone over.
Challenge accepted.
Hey, boss. Nice, uh, handbag.
It's mine. Pretty fly, right?
Bought it on The Frillest.
- Oh, what's that?
- You don't know?
It's the top online retailer
of high-end stuff.
- Oh.
- After it was delivered,
I found those poking through the lining.
Wow.
And I thought I got the hookup
when I bought a handbag
and got a sunglasses case for free.
Does something look odd about
the stitching on this panel here?
- [FABRIC TEARS]
- [GASPS]
Oh! I know you didn't just rip my bag.
♪♪
Someone sewed hidden
pouches into this thing.
[SQUEALS]
- Tío.
- Oh.
Bingo. Yeah.
Wow. That has got to be
hundreds of thousands of dollars
worth of diamonds, right?
Why didn't I keep this to myself?
GARZA: Okay, we need to figure
out what's going on here.
Elena, contact this website
and get the seller's name.
In the meantime, bring those to the lab,
because people who are on
the right side of the law
usually don't hide diamonds like this.
Okay, but no more ripping?
That bag cost me $2,000.
$2,000? Elena.
- [SPEAKING FRENCH]
-
Oh, you know what? She's on the phone.
Let's just come back later.
Hey, hey. Where you going?
We're working a case.
- Let's go.
- Oh
Are you afraid of her?
No.
- Yes, you are.
- No, just Okay, be cool.
Cool is my middle name.
If it were, you wouldn't have said that.
Antoinette. Hi.
We have some possibly illicit
diamonds for you to look at.
Or if this is a bad time?
No.
[DIAMONDS RATTLING]
See that?
Every legit diamond in the U.S.
is graded by the GIA
- and given a serial number.
- Wow. Awesome.
- Who knew?
- You, one would assume,
given that you're an FBI special agent.
Ignore him. He's new.
Please, go on.
ANTOINETTE: This diamond,
and I'm assuming all the others,
were stolen from
an armed courier near L.A.X.
four months ago.
Reported to be worth
approximately $2 million.
LAPD's been puzzling
over this heist for months.
An armed courier picks up a shipment
of diamonds from a private plane.
They come across our first unsub,
a woman lying facedown on the street.
He gets out to check on her
when our second unsub,
another woman wearing a mask,
comes out of nowhere, tases him.
They grab the diamonds and
they're gone in less than a minute.
Hmm. An all-female heist crew. Respect.
Except somehow the stash ended
up hidden in Elena's purse.
Speaking of, the online reseller
responded to the warrant.
We got the name of the original seller.
Denise Palmer.
She's gotta be one of the robbers.
Let's get her in here now.
We can't. She's dead.
Shot and killed in front of her own home
the night of the diamond heist.
Well, it could have been a double-cross.
Think about it.
They have a falling out,
the partner kills Denise,
and didn't know
where she hid the diamonds.
- It's very film noir.
- Hope I'm wrong.
I hate it when women
backstab each other.
Guess then the only question left is,
if this Denise Palmer has been
dead for four months,
then how did she sell Elena her handbag?
- Ooh-ah ♪
- De La Geezy, homie.
De La, MishCatt ♪
Sofía ♪
I get goofy every time I hear
you say my name, ooh-ah ♪
Are you two hungry?
'Cause I'm I am starving.
You ever have pigeon pea soup
with ackee and tree mutton?
I know it it sounds like
roadkill soufflé,
but it is delicious.
You know, there's a-a
great spot where they, uh
I'll make you a deal.
Stop talking and I give you
my peanuts on the plane.
Thanks, but I'm allergic to nuts
and prison.
So could we, um,
maybe not be in such a hurry
to take me back to the U.S.?
I thought you'd want to get back
to see your daughter.
If my ex lets her visit me.
Before I skipped town, I only got
to see her once every other week.
Tough divorce?
Eh, it was my fault.
I gave my life to Nugenius Industries
and was never around.
It's gotta be more than that if
your ex-wife has sole custody.
Well, I cheated on her a lot.
And I had a teeny,
tiny gambling problem.
How teeny, tiny?
I lost our house
betting on a llama race.
[ENGINE REVS]
Wait. Where's Denby going?
[ENGINE REVS]
♪♪
[GUNS COCK]
Denby just sold us out.
We don't have our weapons.
Open up! Give us Barlowe! Now!
♪♪
- Okay. Okay. Stay cool.
- SIMONE: I'm cool.
I'm counting six guns aimed at us.
What's the move?
Aren't you guys trained
to negotiate or something?
Good point.
Watch me negotiate this steering wheel.
Hold on!
[GUNFIRE]
It's our turn ♪
[GUNFIRE]
♪♪
As good as it gets, we blowin' minds ♪
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
We're clear! Whoo!
See? You should let me drive more often.
Didn't I say stay cool?!
Are we alive right now?
Who the hell were those guys,
and what do they want with you?
I-I don't know.
We need to find a safe place
to lie low and figure out what's what.
Shake up the world ♪
Make that history ♪
Write down our name ♪
- For all the kids to read ♪
- [CELLPHONE RINGS]
Hey, Carter. What's up?
The op is compromised.
Local PD set us up
for an ambush to grab Barlowe.
We evaded and are looking
for a place to hide.
Okay, listen to me.
Remember, this is a small island.
There are eyes and ears everywhere.
So whatever you do, you trust
no one. Do you understand?
Nugenius has to be behind this.
Who else would be this invested
to take Barlowe right now?
Let's assume they're tracking
your devices.
Assume they're listening to us
right now.
Once we hang up, you destroy
the phones immediately.
What? No No guns and no phones?
This is getting way past ridiculous.
Get your hands on a burner phone
while I work on getting you
an exfiltration.
Contact me as soon as you can.
Listen, I'm gonna get you home, okay?
Thanks, Matt.
Give me your phone.
I took some real good
beach selfies on this.
Upload them to the cloud first, okay?
No problem.
Not those clouds.
Damn.
Your wife's Frillest account
was used to sell this handbag.
That was me.
I've been using Denise's account
to sell her stuff.
Since her murder,
I've been trying to find a way
to honor her memory,
so I figured I could donate the money
to a cause she cared about.
So this was Denise's bag?
Hmm.
I don't understand.
Is there a break in the case?
We think so.
On the morning of your wife's murder,
two women robbed an armed courier
of $2 million in diamonds
right outside L.A.X.
Where your wife worked.
The stolen diamonds were found in
hidden pockets sewn into the lining.
I don't
What are you saying?
I'm sorry to have to tell you this, sir,
but we believe your wife
was one of the robbers.
That's insane.
No, she was quiet.
She liked board games.
I mean, she had an herb garden.
I No, Denise couldn't have
done something like this.
I would have known.
Except according to the police report,
you were in San Diego at the time.
Yeah, it was a business trip.
Maybe that's why she planned
the heist for that time.
- To keep it from you.
- No.
Denise wasn't a diamond thief.
That just wasn't her.
Was it?
Let's pull up anything
we can find on Denise
Phone records, socials, the works.
Yeah, he may not feel like
his wife had anything to do
- with the heist, but
- On it.
- So can I get my bag back now?
- Nope.
Still evidence in an open investigation.
Simone and Carter are in trouble.
Sit-room. Now.
♪♪
It would've taken like two
seconds to upload those selfies.
I mean, the wind was
blowing Felicia around
in all sorts of cute directions.
And my skin was poppin' in that sunset.
I know a man that carries
a multi-tool in his pocket
is not judging.
Oh, this little guy here? Be thankful.
He might have just saved our lives.
BARLOWE: Yeah, or prolonged
the inevitable.
- Face it we're gonna die here.
- Quiet.
All right, I saw a street market
about a mile back.
You stay with him.
I'll go buy a burner and call Garza.
Well, I don't mean to offend,
but you could smell
the Fed all over you.
I mean, you should let me do it.
Felicia and I will fit in
much better than
No, no, you stay.
I don't want to die with him.
I-I-I want my last moments to be fun.
Nobody is gonna die out here, okay?
I can do this. Trust me.
Okay, but be careful.
Come on, Felicia.
Bye, Felicia.
LAURA: What? How did you get
a live satellite feed?
Senator "Smith" rerouted Polaris 7
over the island for us.
Who is Senator Smith?
Don't worry about that right now.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
Hey, how you doing?
You never saw me.
[ RINGING]
[CELLPHONE BUZZING]
Yes. Hello?
Oh, uh, yes. [BUTTONS CLICKING]
Hey, Simone. Hey, h-h where are you?
- [SIREN CHIRPS]
- I'm in the
Salt Mills Market on Bay Street
in a big-ass hat.
And Denby's boys
are swarming this place,
most likely looking for my ass.
Sit tight, Simone, okay?
- Find her right now.
- LAURA: Yep.
[KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING]
- Matt, I need a minute.
- Not right now, Allen.
One of my star witnesses checked himself
into a mental health facility.
Another recanted
her testimony this morning.
Some mercenaries
just tried to kill Barlowe.
He's trapped on the island
with Simone and Carter.
He's the last witness we've got.
Okay, looks like
Nugenius is trying to do
whatever it takes to kill your case.
- Where Where are they?
- Simone is at a street market.
We're trying to get her out right
now. Here's what you can do.
Contact the State Department
- in case we need a diplomatic solution.
- I'm on it.
SIMONE: Hey. What y'all getting?
It's nice. Real nice.
I like your hair, babe.
Hey, how you doing? How you doing?
How's everybody? All right.
LAURA: Found her.
Simone, there are two entrances
to the market.
The south entrance is blocked
by a police cruiser.
Head north then turn right
at the T, toward the wharf.
Hurry. The cops are closing in
on that area.
Oh.
No.
♪♪
Denby's here.
Y'all, I'm trapped.
Any ideas? I'm not gonna be able
to avoid them much longer.
Okay, we need a new way out for her.
Some sort of distraction. Something.
ELENA: I'm scrolling
ClipTalk, and there's
a flying dress shoot
coming Simone's way.
What? What is a flying dress shoot?
It's women who photograph themselves
with long trains flipping in the wind.
Yeah, of course you'd know that.
Okay, Simone, listen to me.
Do you see a woman up ahead
in a yellow dress?
Yeah. I'm gonna ride that train
right outta here.
Girl, I did one of these when
I was in Santorini one year.
The trick is to make the dress fly.
I got you.
Let me just get behind you, cute thing.
Wake the town, we tell them loud ♪
We coming now, boom ♪
So gwan jump up ♪
Anywhere you deh
now grab on pan a truck ♪
Anywhere you deh
now grab on pan a truck ♪
All if the volume buck ♪
Den the place want bust up
Inna 2 girl ♪
Gwan jump up ♪
SIMONE: I'm clear!
Gwan jump ♪
[SIGHS] Okay.
Find new transportation.
Pick up Barlowe and Carter.
The jet will be arriving on
a private airstrip in an hour.
I'm sending the coordinates now.
SIMONE: Yes, sir.
[HORN HONKS]
Hop in, mother truckers.
[LAUGHS] We got a flight to catch.
How'd you get this?
Felicia.
Damn straight.
Get in the back. Lay down.
And it's head to toe, my dude.
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
Oh. [GROANS]
As requested, I went through
Denise Palmer's phone records.
Anything stand out?
One or two things.
Like, a week before the heist,
Denise chatted with a guy
named Logan Anders,
and they met for drinks.
- Huh. An affair?
- I don't know.
But he's an armed courier
for Emory Security.
Was he the driver during the heist?
No. He was working
in Chatsworth that day.
His alibi's tight.
That doesn't mean he
couldn't help Denise plan it.
Yeah, let's see what we can find out.
Oh, yeah, I remember her.
That chick was smoking h
I mean that woman is intelligent.
Hmm.
But wait. You said her name was Denise?
No, she told me her name was Thelma.
What'd you guys, uh, talk about?
Well, Thelma was really
interested in my job.
You know, asked me all these questions
about being an armed courier.
Like training, protocols
She was way into me.
- Sure.
- And then her friend shows up,
and she was super hot, too.
Uh, uh I mean, intelligent.
Uh, what friend?
Her name's Louise.
♪♪
- [CLEARS THROAT]
- Right.
Let me get this straight.
They introduced themselves
to you as Thelma and Louise,
asked you questions about
your job as an armed courier,
and you didn't catch on that maybe
they were gonna use the information
you gave them to commit a crime?
Whoa. Yeah.
Now that you did the math for me,
I see what you're saying.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Well, shame on me for not thinking
that women could be
criminal masterminds.
So [CHUCKLES] why don't you go
ahead and describe the woman
who introduced herself as Louise?
Like I said, intelligent.
Oh, and she had a super sexy Li
I-I mean, super artistic tattoo
of a barbed wire on her neck.
This Louise woman has got to be
Denise's accomplice.
And possibly her murderer.
I'm gonna have Elena dig deeper
into the people in Denise's life,
see if we can get a match
for that tattoo.
Oh. Sorry. [CHUCKLES]
Didn't mean to scare you.
I couldn't help but overhear
in your conversation.
Did you Did you say
you're a Benneteau?
As in Benneteau Vineyards?
If you're not here
about the case, go away.
Uh, no, it's just that that
That wine is amazing. [CHUCKLES]
I got a bottle of the
'96 Syrah from my agent
for the 100th episode of "Vampire Cop."
This This little, uh
Who cares? The Syrah is amazing.
I'm so happy for you.
I'm sorry your family's
being so hard on you.
You should be sorry you
eavesdropped on my conversations.
I-I just I know exactly
what you're going through.
Your family also owns a
multimillion-dollar corporation
and is shouldering its future on you?
No, not exactly. [CHUCKLES]
But my dad forced me into acting
when I was a kid.
It was It was his dream,
and when it didn't work out,
he became obsessed
with having me succeed.
So I just I remember the pressure.
I'm glad you're pushing back.
It's a It's a good thing.
I wish I'd done it sooner.
♪♪
CARTER: This just doesn't make sense.
Why is Nugenius Industries
trying to kill you and not the others?
- How should I know?
- What aren't you telling us?
Seems like you're not hiding
from the government.
You're hiding from Nugenius.
I-I don't want to talk about it.
Okay.
Let's talk about your daughter.
Is she a daddy's girl?
Abby? Oh, yeah, sure is.
What kind of things do
you guys do together?
Ride bikes. On my weekends.
T-That That's what we do. For hours.
My ex even lets me keep my
bike equipment in the garage,
and she hates me, so
that's that's how much
Abby loves riding with me.
Loved. Hm? Past tense.
You've been gone
for three months, Bernie.
Sounds to me like
- you and Abby need each other.
You have to make things right
and tell the truth.
Talk to me.
Talk to your father.
I mean, weren't you supposed to call him
and tell him how you've been lying?
I forgot.
Don't worry about my problems, okay?
Fix your own.
♪♪
I'm gonna hit the head.
Shoot.
[TABLET BUTTONS CLICKING]
[FACETIME RINGING]
SIMONE: Hey, Daddy, listen.
I-I need to tell you something.
What? That you've been hooking
up with Dina against my wishes?
Too late.
I am so sorry.
Ruth and I really like each other.
And it's gonna be
all types of awkward between us
when you and Dina break up.
When we break up? Thanks a lot.
I Wait.
Why are you whispering?
RUTH: Cutty, where'd you go?
Who you talking to?
[GASPS] Simone!
Hi!
Hey, Ms. Ruth.
Dina adores everything about you.
You know, we really should get together,
get to know each other better.
You should all have a double date.
Oh, well, hello. Uh, great idea.
Dinner tonight?
Ms. Ruth, I have had a really long day.
Oh, no, no, no, honey, don't
worry. I will arrange everything.
I'm calling Dina now.
- Bye. [GIGGLES]
- I
No, Daddy. Not that look.
Dinner's gonna be so much fun.
When we get to 30,000 feet,
I'm throwing your ass out.
♪♪
[SIGHS] Welcome home.
You're looking good, Simone.
- Don't I always?
- Of course.
Nice shorts there, Carter.
- My undercover look for the island.
- [STIFLED CHUCKLE]
I-I had a suit, but it's still
in the rental, which is
Regardless, as promised
Bernie Barlowe.
Long time no see, Mr. Barlowe.
Glad you made it home in one piece.
Rest assured, you'll be safe
in protective custody
- until the trial.
- No, don't don't bother.
Like I told them,
I'm I'm not testifying.
Understand that you will do
serious prison time if you refuse.
Oh, I understood it
when I fled the country.
So, come what may.
Can I have a few minutes with him?
Of course.
That way, sassy pants.
Come on, Bernie.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SIGHS] Back in my
guidance counselor days,
I watched a lot of kids who took
their lies to their graves,
all because they didn't want
to face the consequences.
But not you.
It's like you welcome them.
- I'm not following you.
- [CHUCKLES]
See? That's how you lost your house.
'Cause you don't have a poker face.
So why would you sacrifice more
time away from your daughter?
Nugenius bought you off.
They paid you to disappear.
Well, what do you have on them, Bernie?
Enough dirt to give my daughter
a cozy trust fund.
When I was 14,
I lost my father to the prison system
for a crime he didn't even commit.
When he was exonerated
eight years later,
the city cut him a big fat check
with a whole lot of zeros.
None of it was enough to make up
for what we lost
Being without him.
Cooperate, Bernie, and
the DOJ will cut you a deal.
But then I'd have to
give the money back.
That's not gonna happen.
Well, let me tell you
what is gonna happen.
If you refuse to testify,
I will tear your financial life apart.
And sooner or later,
I will find that money and take it away.
Believe that.
And that's if you can find it.
Bit of advice [CHUCKLES]
don't bet against me, sassy pants.
You will lose.
I, um I need time to think.
You have till morning.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
♪♪
- Ooh, ohh ♪
- Ooh, ohh ♪
[LAUGHTER]
These two.
RUTH: You know, I've been wondering
if you named her after Nina Simone.
Actually, Simone
is my mom's middle name.
- But she is my favorite alto.
- DINA: Me, too.
Oh, Nina, she moved effortlessly
through many genres,
and the beauty and heartache
of her tone ooh, special.
- Ohh.
- My baby's got good taste.
Look at us vibin'.
See, you thought it was
gonna be weird, huh, Daddy?
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
- Go answer that door.
- We having a good time.
- Cheers to us.
- Cheers to us.
- MEL: Hey, hey!
- Hey.
- Got your message.
- Hey, man.
- A romantic soiree, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
Now I see why you needed
these Coltrane classics.
[CHUCKLES] I added a little
Sonny Rollins in there for you, too.
Yeah, I wondered where my Sonny went.
Oh, my Sonny was at my house
where he lives.
You borrowed him from me and now
I'm loaning him back to you.
No, no, no. You're thinking
about Thelonious Monk.
Oh, we're gonna have this
argument till we're old, is that right?
Oh, we're old now
and we're having it now.
Come on, get out. Thanks.
Hey, there, Simone.
How you doing, girl?
Hey, Mel. Good to see you.
Good to be seen.
Okay, Mel. Come on, man.
Yeah, hold on. I'm leav I'm leaving.
You two pretty ladies
have a good evening,
and make sure these
roughnecks treat you right.
Oh.
Mel, this is actually
my girlfriend, Dina.
Oh my bad. [CHUCKLES]
[CLEARS THROAT] Man, your mind
must be blown, too.
She might as well just date a dude.
Watch your damn mouth.
That's not for you to question or judge.
- Y-You ignorant
- Daddy.
Now you just take your
simple-minded opinion out of my house!
- Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm out. I'm out.
- Right now! Out!
I can't believe that just happened.
Yeah, some people need to learn.
No, I mean you.
My ex-husband had anger issues,
and I don't ever want
to be around that energy again.
I mean, if your rage
is that close to the surface
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
I'm not sure I know you
as well as I thought.
I want you, I want you ♪
Hey, Elena.
Hey. I found the lady
with the barbed wire tat.
She worked with our victim at L.A.X.
Her name's Aria Lansing.
Nice job. We'll go pick her up.
- Oh, I already did.
- Excuse me?
Well, I didn't pick her up
personally. I had LAPD do it.
- W-Where are you?
- Mid-Wilshire station.
She's in holding.
Want me to question her?
Uh, no, no, no. We'll be right there.
Wow, Elena just pulled a Simone.
BRENDON: Let's go.
[BUZZER] [DOOR OPENS]
That's them.
Hey.
On a scale of one to tell
my boss/uncle and get me fired,
how mad are you?
Well, you managed to do our jobs
without breaking the law
or getting hurt,
so I guess I'm more
threatened than angry?
But I'm not covering for you
if Garza asks where you've been.
Copy. See you back at the office.
[BUZZER]
LAURA: Aria Lansing?
I'm Special Agent Stensen.
This is Special Agent Acres.
Why am I here?
We want to talk to you
about Denise Palmer.
You were, uh, friends?
Yeah. At work.
It's not like we were besties.
Oh, okay.
What about your, uh Your alter egos?
Thelma and Louise, right?
Were they besties?
We know about the diamond heist.
What are you talking about?
We know Denise had the diamonds
hidden when she was gunned down,
and clearly you didn't
know where they were.
I mean, I'd be upset if my partner
in crime didn't give me my cut.
Okay, um
look, um, I didn't kill her, okay?
Denise came to me with the idea.
I thought she was crazy at
first, but she was determined,
and I was [SIGHS] bored and broke.
Okay, so what happened after the heist?
Uh, we met for dinner
at the Seabury Hotel.
Just talked about what
we would each do with the money.
Um, she had it all worked out.
She said she was gonna wait a
couple weeks for the heat to die down
and then unload the stones in Belgium.
You weren't gonna go with her?
Oh, no. I'm scared of flying.
And I trusted her.
She was gonna wire me my cut
and then go live out there.
Wait. She wasn't coming back?
She said she couldn't wait to buy
a one-way ticket, never to return.
Hmm.
Why would she say that?
One guess who she was
trying to get away from.
Did you find out something new?
Mr. Palmer, you said,
and in your statement to LAPD,
that you were in San Diego
when your wife was murdered.
Right. Was on business.
Well, I got this from
the hotel's parking garage.
Records show you left at 5:17 p.m.
and didn't return until after 11:00.
Plenty of time to
drive to L.A. and back.
How dare you.
Since Denise isn't here
to speak for herself,
I will say it for her. You're an abuser.
Possessive, cruel.
And on that night Jealous.
You're wrong.
You know, there's one way
to identify people like you,
and that's by the actions
of your partners.
And for Denise to be desperate enough
to pull off a crime like that
well, that tells me everything
I need to know about you.
Lady, you don't know anything.
Sure, I do.
Your phones were on the same plan.
You could have easily
tracked her on an app.
You saw that she was at the
Seabury Hotel and you snapped.
- That's not true.
- It is.
You thought she was having an affair,
so you rushed back to L.A. in a rage,
and that's when you got back
just in time to see her arrive home.
- And you shot her.
- No. Mnh-mnh.
Know why?
[WHISPERS] You're weak.
Bitch! [GROANS]
I could say the same about you.
[GROANS]
She was cheating on me,
but she was playing dumb.
I didn't want to kill her, I swear.
I just wanted the truth.
Denise wasn't having an affair.
She was planning her escape
from you.
Hey.
Finally retired the braids, huh?
I went back to being me,
so I said, "Bye, Felicia."
- [CHUCKLES]
- How's our boy Barlowe?
Well, he is at Allen's office
right now, working out a deal.
What you said last
night got through to him.
Say what now?
And it turns out Barlowe
knew more than we thought.
Nugenius has this new
billion-dollar proprietary resin
for artificial bones,
just approved by the FDA.
Barlowe has a hard drive of proof
that the lab results were doctored.
The resin breaks down in the body.
Nugenius knew this
and still went to market.
Damn.
No wonder Bernie was scared.
These people are evil.
You two need to see this right now.
I had a friend at the DOJ
open an investigation
on Inspector Denby.
Good. 'Cause that scrub tried
to kill us on that island.
They traced phone records
and found out who hired him
to go after Barlowe.
Someone from Nugenius Industries?
No.
♪♪
Allen.
This can't be right.
He and I worked this case for years.
Sorry, Carter. He's on the take.
This explains how they knew how
to get to all those witnesses,
including Barlowe,
and how Denby knew to look for you
- at that street market.
- Let's go get his ass.
Well, I called Allen's office,
and he and Barlowe left
to retrieve a hard drive
that's got all this evidence on it.
Anybody know where?
Barlowe didn't want it on any record.
- Part of his deal, I guess.
- Okay, let's think about this.
The government has already seized
all of Barlowe's assets here and abroad.
So it's not anywhere official,
like a bank or P.O. box,
or we'd already have it.
His ex-wife's garage.
He stores his bike equipment there
for when he goes to visit
with his daughter.
I don't know, Simone.
That seems like a long shot.
- It's the only shot we got.
- Go, guys.
♪♪
[DOOR CLOSES]
Everything you need to put
Nugenius Industries away is on there.
My ticket to freedom.
As an A-USA, I'm licensed
to carry a concealed weapon.
Cool.
As an I.T. guy, I get free Internet.
I'm gonna tell the police
that you flipped out,
came after me.
That's why I had to do it.
You'd, uh, do what?
[GUN COCKS]
[HARD DRIVE CLANKS]
♪♪
You did what you did for your family.
I'm doing the same.
Allen, don't.
- What the hell are you doing, man?
- I'm broke, Carter.
All I got is my government pension,
and Tina got half of that
in the divorce.
So you sold out to the
people we were dedicated
- to bring to justice?
- I don't want to die.
SIMONE: I promised you, Bernie.
You won't.
Allen, I get it.
The money is tempting,
but murdering a man?
That's not who you are. Let him go.
Screw it. I'm not going to prison.
- Don't.
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]
That worked just like in the movies.
Ahh, that hurts.
[HANDCUFFS CLICKING]
Was that the drive?
Good thing it's not the only one I have.
- Where's the other one?
- I'll tell you.
But, uh, first, I'm gonna need
to negotiate a better deal.
Bernie Barlowe.
It was foolish to try ♪
[SIGHS] Man.
SIMONE: Stop festering.
'Cause you're still in my heart ♪
Talk, Daddy.
I shouldn't have lost my temper.
Why were you so triggered?
Nobody talks down to my child.
I don't need you to fight my battles.
Well, it's just
your sexuality is confusing.
Yeah, sometimes you bring home
women, sometimes men,
sometimes folks with no gender
at all. [CHUCKLES]
So that means sometimes
I gotta fight for you.
[LAUGHS] I am an
equal-opportunity lover.
Ohh.
D-Do you have to understand
who and why I choose to love?
No.
If you're happy, I'm happy.
Love is love. Period.
That's what I should have told Mel
instead of acting a fool.
Mm-hmm.
[SIGHS] Ruth is not talking to me.
Well, we will work on that.
She's a forgiving woman.
We just gotta remind her
that you really are
just a big ol' teddy bear.
Now, come here.
- [LAUGHS]
- Bring it in.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
What am I gonna do with you? Huh?
I will, too ♪
Aww. You shouldn't have.
I didn't. These are for Cutty.
Cutty, my mom really likes you,
and she knows your heart.
Give her these. They're her favorite.
And she's home right now.
Oh, Dina, Dina. [CHUCKLES]
I owe you big time.
[LAUGHS]
I love y'all! [LAUGHS]
Go get her, Daddy.
Darlin' ♪
I realized that
A lot of this is my fault.
I should have never told my mom about us
without discussing it with you.
D, there's a lot of blame
to go around here,
and not all of it belongs to you.
I do like, um,
Casablanca lilies, though.
The next time you feel
the need to apologize.
Do you mind if I apologize
in another way?
♪♪
You forgive, I will, too ♪
[LAUGHS]
I think I got a few minutes
before my dad comes back.
Okay.
- Come on, baby. Come on.
- Let's do it.
It's still heart healthy, but I added
a pinch of cheese just this once.
I can't get your handbag
out of evidence.
Not until the case is adjudicated.
And that could take months, okay?
I know.
Elena.
Should I be worried?
You're a grown woman. You can do
what you want with your money.
But I know how much you get paid here.
And, well, spending two grand
on a handbag seems
Stupid?
I was gonna use
a less judgmental adjective.
I bought it because I knew I
could sell it for twice the price.
So wait. This is This is
some sort of side hustle?
I got student loans to pay, Tío.
[SIGHS] Elena
you came here to temp for
a week as a favor to me, right?
That was over a year ago.
You are brilliant enough
to be making big money
anywhere you want to go.
I know.
Why aren't you out there?
Chasing your passion?
Doing what you love?
I don't know what that is yet.
That's fair.
Just
promise you won't stay here out of some
familial obligation to me, huh?
I like this job.
The pace, the unpredictability.
And I really enjoy
bossing people around.
- You're good at it.
- [CHUCKLES] Right?
So, for now, I'm happy.
When that changes, you'll know.
That I feel the same way ♪
Thanks for the cheese.
When I don't ♪
When I don't ♪
Hey, how you doing?
Why must you be so chipper all the time?
Oh, I don't know. It's just my thang.
It's really annoying.
I'm a setting sun ♪
♪♪
Ouch. She hates you.
Oh, well, that tracks.
I'll be gone ♪
I'll be gone ♪
Just let me shine on ♪
Shine on ♪
Wow.
What?
A '96 Syrah. It's very rare.
Who gave it to you?
Just let me shine on ♪
Shine on ♪
Before I'm gone ♪
How do you feel?
- Like I need a job.
- [CHUCKLES]
You hiring?
We don't hire criminals. We arrest them.
I got full immunity.
Not until you tell us
where that second hard drive is.
Ooh. Can't be late.
- For what?
- Bike riding with my daughter.
Good for you.
Weathering this storm ♪
Location of the drive.
Thanks for everything.
And you? You still suck.
Goodbye.
Just let me shine on ♪
Shine on ♪
[LAUGHS]
What? Where's the second drive?
♪♪
SIMONE: Case closed.
Finally.
It's prettier than I remember.
That's 'cause you finally got the
stick named Barlowe out your ass.
BRENDON: Simone.
Merci beaucoup.
Tell you what $2 million payout,
I could see myself getting lost here.
- Yeah.
- Yep.
Anybody know where we can
find $2 million for Brendon?
- [LAUGHTER]
- I feel you, B.
'Cause I can retire down here in style.
Okay. Back it up, Probies.
You guys just got into the game.
And you both have a lot more
seasons to play, so
I'll drink to that.
- Cheers, y'all.
- Salud.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
♪♪