The Sex Lives of College Girls (2021) s03e05 Episode Script

1
BELA: Good morning,
everyone, and thanks again
for agreeing to be participants
in my Psych 101 study.
Of course. I love experiments.
So what are we talking? Single blinds?
Double blinds?
Any dichotomous variables?
Kimberly, you're already queen geek.
You don't need to nerd flex.
I'm attempting to prove my theory
that women are just as horny as men.
And I'll be collecting data
with these devices.
I'm sorry, is there something
about my personality
that suggests you can
toss something at me?
The idea is that whenever you
have a sexual thought
or feeling, big or small,
you mark it with a click.
Ah, interesting. So like
when you said the word click,
and I thought it sounded like
"dick," that's a click?
BELA: Exactly. In fact, that's gonna be
a big, thick click for me, too.
I love that you're combining
feminism and science,
but could you possibly be
turning school into sex
because you and Arvind
still haven't hooked up?
Wait, Arvind is single now,
and he still hasn't made a move?
I say this as a proud virgin:
what is wrong with that prude?
I know. It's driving me insane.
Why don't you make a move, then?
No way, too high stakes.
I don't know how he feels.
Plus, he just broke up
with his girlfriend,
and I like him.
(SIGHS) I don't want to be a rebound.
- Oh, I get that.
- Totally.
Now, if you don't mind,
I need to watch videos
of male celebrities
working out
so I stop thinking about Arvind.
(CLICKING RAPIDLY)
(PLAINTIVE GROAN)
- (CLICKING CONTINUES)
- BELA: No one come in here!
- Loud music, anyone?
- Yes, please.
Girls, heal like you never cried ♪
Girls ♪
♪
I can't believe it's been a
year since last Parents Weekend.
We've been through so much together,
and I finally figured out
my proper bra size.
Well, my dad's very excited to visit.
Not to see me.
He found a dinner reservation
that gets him triple
diamond points on OpenTable.
He has so many points, he could
literally buy a restaurant.
Well, my mom's not gonna make it.
The President's dog bit her.
- (BOTH GASPING)
- No, she's fine.
Just staying out of the public eye
to bury the story.
But it's for the best.
My dad's coming and he's way cooler.
The KJ House invited him
to play guitar for them.
Oh, a guitar concert?
Your dad must rock.
He does, yeah. He's my role model.
I would've been a guitarist, too, if I
didn't get my mom's stiff-ass knuckles.
KACEY: Oh, I love that.
My mom and I are the same.
She's my best friend.
In fact, everyone
always thinks we're twins.
It's so random.
WHITNEY: Oh, wow.
But she's so much taller than you.
Twins can be different heights.
You know what? That reminds me,
I should text her
and ask what color
we're gonna wear tonight.
- Spoiler alert, it might be green.
- (PHONE CHIMES)
That's a lot of Eli on read.
You still mad at him for leaving you
high on molly at that party last week?
Kind of. I mean, he apologized,
but I don't think we're a good match.
Like, he's way more of
a partier than I realized.
And we just have different lifestyles.
He's not exactly Merrick Garland.
You mean Jewish?
No, that's not I mean
I-I wouldn't care if he was Jewish.
I love the Jewish people.
I'm sorry, what was I saying?
- You know we're not recording this, right?
- KIMBERLY: Right.
Anyway, I've decided to avoid him
by focusing on schoolwork.
I have a big debate
coming up in Ethics class
that I am very prepared for.
Check it out.
It's my first time working
with a full six inches.
(CLICKING)
What? You're the weird one for
talking about a binder that way.
♪
What's up, mother-FAFers?
Bela, you got me FOLing,
FAFing out loud.
Okay, can we come back
when you've finished
whatever this sad, rehearsed thing is?
Well, as you all know,
it's Parents Weekend,
so we wanted to do a quick check-in
to make sure everyone
is feeling emotionally prepared,
because we know, well, not
everyone's family is perfect.
Oh, please. My dad died when I was five
and my mom is so absent
that when I told her I was gay,
she texted back, "Who is this?"
Beat that.
Okay, well, this isn't a competition.
No, she definitely wins.
Yeah, that actually made me realize
that my parents aren't so bad.
Thanks, Taylor.
You're welcome. So, let's move on.
- Moving right along
- Mm-hmm.
If you smelled gas in the gym yesterday,
bad news: it was gas.
Chlorine gas, as a matter of fact.
So, do let us know
if you have any new sores,
lesions, growths, visions
Okay, Dan, you got to go
to the doctor right now, buddy.
Hey, so, um, I know it's last second,
but you can come to dinner with
my parents tonight if you want.
Okay.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
I thought you'd be too cool
and say no and then insult my hair.
Or my outfit. Or both.
No, I appreciate it.
I'm deeply curious to see who make you.
Bela. Great tag-teaming today.
Oh, totally. That's exactly
how I use that phrase, too.
You and I should tag-team again.
Deal. Well, anyways,
I'm taking my parents
to a fun mixer tomorrow for all
the Indian students at Essex.
If you're free, you
and your parents should come.
Oh, that sounds fun, but, uh,
my parents aren't coming.
And I-I'm just
generally busy all weekend.
I'm training for a 10K.
Oh, wow. Oh, my goodness.
Let me know when it is.
I love cheering on runners.
Oh, I'm, yeah, I'm not a runner.
It's actually a deep underwater swim.
So you can't.
Any, uh, have fun this weekend, eh?
Okay, no judgment for lying,
I love a good wild lie,
but what was that?
I thought you liked Arvind.
I do. Which is why
he can't meet my parents.
Arvind is like Indian parent catnip.
They'd get all weird and matchmake-y
and start investigating
to make sure we're not related.
But didn't you do that?
Yes, but it's annoying
when parents do it.
Also, there is a second cousin
that seems borderline,
and I can't have anyone
looking any further.
Did you kiss your cousin?
This is how we do it. ♪
KIMBERLY: You can
quote Rousseau all you want,
but if you'd read his work,
you'd know that he dismantles
your own argument.
Or as he writes in Emile:
"Tout dégénère
entre les mains de l'homme."
Yes! Woo! A-plus, if you ask me, Prof.
♪
Kimberly, that was a really
impressive argument you had today.
Thank you, Professor.
And this is my mom.
She's not usually in a wheelchair.
I slipped on some hummus
at the grocery store.
Sounds like you might have
a pretty strong legal claim.
Oh, I wish. I signed so many waivers
in exchange for a coupon.
Mom, Professor Friedman
is the premier legal scholar
of U.S. Constitutional law.
And she just surpassed
the late Ronald Dworkin
to become the second most-cited
American legal scholar.
- Wow.
- You've really done your homework, huh?
That's because I love homework.
Speaking of, I'd like to apply
for the Con Law symposium you host.
She hosts an incredibly
prestigious Con Law symposium.
Wow.
I wish my parents
were as impressed with me.
But all they ever care about is
where or not I know Judge Judy.
I love Judge Judy.
Of course you do.
Uh, anyway, Kimberly, my symposium,
it's only for third and fourth years.
But I could make an exception
for the right student.
Send me your application.
Really? Thank you. Consider it done.
(SQUEALS)
(PLAYING SLOW MELODY)
Yeah, Dad!
Here comes his big solo.
Isn't it all a solo?
He's the only one up there.
♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
What'd you think?
I was worried the kids might
not be into a-melodic neo jazz.
No way. They loved it. Right, Willow?
Totally. A-melodic neo jazz
was on my Spotify Wrapped.
- Yep.
- Hey, Whit.
Hey. Uh, Dad, this is my friend, Isaiah.
Just wanted to say, musician
to musician, that was dope.
I play piano.
You do? Since when?
Always. It's pretty much all I do.
- It is?
- Yup.
Well, just wanted to say hi, great show.
- And I'll see you around, Whit.
- Yeah.
So you two are friends
that barely know each other,
but you'll see him around?
Is that a little situationship?
Dad.
Oh, shit, yeah, you
called it, they're getting it in.
Willow. We're not talking about this.
- Mm-hmm. Okay.
- (PHONE BUZZING)
- Hello?
- Hi, I'm calling
from the mental health
services department.
Am I speaking with Whitney Chase?
Everything okay?
Yeah, it's Ace Hardware.
Miss, this is not an Ace Hardware.
Although I would love to work
at an Ace Hardware.
Everything's so organized.
No college students.
Hi, sorry, can I just ask
why you're calling?
Uh, sorry, um, this is just protocol.
We follow up with, um, anyone who swipes
into the mental health facility,
just to see if
you need somebody to talk to.
Oh, okay, that's totally unnecessary.
I just swiped in to use the bathroom.
But thank you for checking. Bye.
(SIGHS)
Good news, my power drill just came in.
- Oh.
- I've gotten into power tools.
For feminism.
♪
Ooh-ooh ♪
(BOTH SQUEAL)
- Mom, you're here.
- There she is. My baby.
Oh, you are so gorgeous.
You're just like a little version of me.
Except your collagen is natural
and mine was injected in my face.
(GASPS) Speaking of, I love
what you did what your eyebrows.
Well, thanks, Dr. Resnick
pulled them a little tight,
so I can't fully close my eyes yet,
but who needs to blink, right?
Well, I am so excited that you're here.
I have the whole day planned out.
- Okay.
- The closest mall isn't great,
but they do have a kiosk
that can bedazzle anything.
Last week, I had them do my flat iron.
Yeah, but this is
my first time at Essex.
Should we see the campus,
or maybe go on a hike
and explore the Vermont nature?
- (LAUGHTER)
- I'm kiddin'.
I'd rather kill myself.
No, let's go max out
Daddy's credit card.
I brought the really heavy one with me.
A hike? You almost had me, Mom.
- I know. Gross.
- (LAUGHS)
Wow ♪
If you need to work on your application,
you know, I can find
something fun to do.
I saw there's a karaoke event.
You know I love watching karaoke.
Mom, you can watch karaoke at home.
Don't worry about me, I've
already done my application.
I've been angling for this
symposium since freshman year.
- CAROL: Of course.
- Kimberly.
Eli. Hey.
What a timely run-in.
Yeah, uh, what's been going on?
I haven't heard from you in a bit.
Yeah, sorry, I've had
a lot of school stuff
and then, you know, I just
haven't checked my phone.
- My mom's in town.
- Oh, this is your mom.
I thought it had to be a classmate,
or a high school senior you were
showing around the campus.
CAROL: Oh, I could just hug you!
But it would be too painful to stand.
How do you two know each other?
That's a good question. Um
- Dating.
- Dating.
Yeah. We're dating.
- Dating? Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Well, uh we need to get
to know each other better.
Why don't you come to dinner tonight?
Oh, that's a nice idea, but I'm sure
his parents are in town
and/or he's busy.
Oh, they aren't and/or I'm not.
I would love to come.
- Great.
- It is. Great.
- It's great.
- Great.
Great!
Ready for the good times ♪
Crisis averted.
The host has said she can
add the extra seat
to the reservation and I get
to keep my OpenTable points.
Amazing news, the points survive.
Thank you all for including me.
Of course.
Bela told us that you are
alone and troubled.
- Mom
- It's fine.
I like the word troubled, it suits me.
I am troubled.
There you are!
- Oh, good to see you.
- Hello!
I bet you're all wondering
what happened to my leg.
Well, it is a pretty interesting story.
NEEVAN: I'm sure.
Who is the boy?
Oh, this is Eli.
I hope it's okay to add one more person.
- Hi.
- Yeah. What is he doing here?
I thought you were avoiding him.
I am. But my mom invited him.
- Ah.
- Mm.
Hey, everyone. We're here.
Hey, it's so nice
to finally meet you all.
Hi, I'm Bela.
It is so nice to finally see you, too.
- (DEVICE CLICKS)
- Bela, no.
What? I have to be honest
to the experiment.
And to put it in clinical terms,
your dad is a 10.
Calm down, he is not that hot.
- He's pretty hot.
- (DEVICE CLICKS)
Sorry. I had to. For science.
- BELA: Ah!
- Oh, my God.
♪
Hi, y'all, sorry we're late
- TRACEY: Hi.
- But you know the saying:
Pretty shows up pretty late
BOTH: But beauty makes an entrance.
I love that saying.
I'm gonna text that to myself.
Oh, shoot, I think I left my phone
back in my other scooter.
You know what? I'm just gonna say it
ten times in my head so it sticks.
Oh, my goodness,
you all look so much like your parents,
it's adorable.
Right here. Perfect split.
A total daddy's girl.
And you four
What a gorgeous family!
Amazing.
We are amazing aren't we?
I'd like to say we lost track
of time getting ready,
but the truth is we needed
an extra three hours
for our blowouts.
Ah, that is the truth.
My Carolina curls are still adjusting
to this Vermont mountain air.
Hair lag is real.
Each hour of travel adds
one day of frizz.
Kiki, honey. Oh, no, no, no.
Keep your sweater on,
your arms look way better
covered, you know that.
KACEY: Oh. (CHUCKLES)
It is a little cold in here, I guess.
Um, so, did we miss any good stories?
I was just telling everybody
about how vivid my dreams have gotten
since I've been on these pain meds.
It's like being in my own movie.
It's beautiful.
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
Uh, more water for me, please.
(DEVICES CLICKING)
Okay, what is up with these clickers?
Oh, uh, it's just
some psych experiment Bela is doing.
Really? Our Beta is doing an experiment?
Tell us more.
The details are very technical,
Mom, but, um
in laymen's terms I'm
collecting data on happiness,
and we click these when we feel joy.
Impressive.
I love how focused
you've become on your studies.
It makes me feel joyful
about my daughter.
No, Dad, you're-you're,
you're gonna tamper with the results.
DAVID: Well, while we're
bragging about our babies,
Whitney is juggling academics
and soccer like a pro.
My girl's a total killer.
(ALL LAUGH)
Well, count me as the proud
parent of a total killer, too.
Her professor invited her
to a very exclusive simpo-museum.
Oh, I just applied, I'm not in yet,
and it's a symposium.
That's what I said. Sim-po-mu-see-um.
(CHUCKLES) She's gonna get in.
KIMBERLY: I hope.
It's a long shot, but it would be huge.
One letter of rec from this professor
can basically get you into Yale Law.
- (INAUDIBLE)
- You want do more school
to get into extra school.
I mean, I love my classes,
but she takes it to a whole new level.
Yeah, well, we can't all
party every night.
Yeah, that's what makes you special.
- Mm-hmm.
- CAROL: Aw, Kimberly
That is so sweet.
He's so supportive.
Speaking of great supportive guys,
don't you girls just love Cal?
- Cal?
- Kacey's boyfriend Calvin.
She came to Essex for him.
Have you girls not met him yet?
BELA: Oh, um
Yeah, of course, Cal! Sorry.
I was confused because
we call him Big C.
- We love Big C.
- KACEY: Yeah.
Well, what's not to love?
And you know, his family is very rich.
- Tobacco money.
- (ALL EXCLAIM)
- Yes, we love that.
- TRACEY: Yeah.
Anyways, um,
Big C couldn't be here tonight
because he's been sick.
And it's very contagious.
It could be meningitis.
Can he touch his chin to his chest?
That is the test to see
if you have meningitis.
Like this.
Yes.
I can't afford to get meningitis.
Kimberly, see if my chin
touches my chest.
Oh. Oh, Kimberly.
Oh, Kimber
Okay, thank God.
Do you want me to talk your boyfriend
through the chin test?
Dad, that that won't be necessary,
He's-he's fine. Why don't we
talk about something else?
Politics? Who cares.
(MOUTHS)
If my mom and Eli
find one more thing in common,
I'm gonna have to call in a bomb threat.
He better not have a sister with GERD.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Thank you for not telling my mom
about the breakup.
Of course, but why haven't you told her?
I thought you were best friends.
We are. I just
I haven't found the right time
to do it, and I feel bad
because I never lie to her.
Ever? I lie to my mom all the time.
She still thinks the porn she found
on my computer was a burglar's
from a break-in.
- We filed a police report.
- Yeah, I tell my mom
our soccer gear cost ten K a semester,
even though the school pays
for everything.
This jacket? Shin guard money.
My mom still doesn't know
that I'm the one
who fed our dog two breakfasts.
If you knew my mom and my dog,
you would know what a big deal that is.
I guess I'm just closer
to my mom than you guys are to yours.
Good chat.
- ♪
♪
- CAROL: This is so interesting.
Thank you for sharing.
- Oh, Kimberly.
- Uh-huh.
Eli was just telling us
how he's a bisexual.
I think it's neat.
Oh. I'm so sorry
I missed however that came up.
I have a gay coworker. His name is Eric.
- Okay, Dad.
- No. It's-it's true.
I'm not making it up.
He kissed his boyfriend
right in front of me.
And I said, "Good job, Eric.
That was very nice."
You know, I always wanted
a gay best friend.
Someone to follow me around,
then when I pick up an ugly shirt,
- they're like, "Uh-uh, girl."
- (LAUGHTER)
Well, gay people aren't an accessory.
Working in the arts, I've
learned a lot from being around
all sexuality and genders.
- Even the newer ones they've just made up.
- Gah. so close.
Taylor, Bela tells me you are gay?
Yeah, that's true.
It's one of my three things.
Gay, British and alcoholic.
I also have a dead dad,
but don't worry about that one.
That one's fixed.
That's what therapy's for.
Ah, kids these days and their therapy.
I mean, no offense. I'm sure
- that you actually needed it, but
- Thank you.
- There's so much talk about mental health.
- TRACEY: Yes.
But I don't believe in it.
I think it's just an excuse
that people use
to act the way they like to act,
- but with no consequences.
- TRACEY: Right.
You know, not one member of
our family has had to go to therapy.
I guess we just have good genes.
CAROL: Bad genes are
so common in our family.
You know, I haven't seen
any proof that therapy works.
Kimberly's aunt went to therapy,
and she stayed crazy.
DAVID: Well, here's
one thing I've noticed.
Our generation never knew
the word "triggered."
You know what that means?
We never got triggered.
(LAUGHTER)
What? I think people talk about therapy
like we all should do it,
but mathematically, that can't be true.
- We can't all need it.
- Exactly.
Some of us can figure things out
on our own.
There are a lot
of good experimental therapies.
Like microdosing. That really helped me.
Well, that sounds kind of cool.
Mom, you don't even know
what microdosing is.
How bad could it be? It's micro.
Exactly. She gets it.
Uh, do you have any plans
for your unused pain meds?
TRACEY: They should
remake The Blind Side.
It's such
it's such an important film.
(QUIETLY): Oh, shit.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
- Uh, Bela?
- BELA: Arvind!
Ah, it's crazy seeing you here.
Yeah. Um, Mom, Dad, this is Bela.
Arvind told us so much
about you. The big swimmer?
Yes, I love the feeling
of getting tired underwater.
- I'll walk you out.
- Oh. Are these your parents?
Yes, we are. Hello. I'm Reena.
This is my husband Nevaan.
Oh, hi. I'm Arvind.
Uh, Bela mentioned you weren't coming.
Yes, I did say that.
Um, it's a crazy story.
But (LAUGHS) long story short,
they-they were able to come last second.
Last second?
No, we booked this months ago.
We would never book last second.
(LAUGHTER)
Uh, right. Well, um,
I don't want to interrupt.
We were just leaving, but, um,
I hope you have a good dinner.
He seemed like a nice boy, Beta.
(BELA SCOFFS SOFTLY)
- KACEY: Thank you.
- Oh, Kiki, they forgot
to put your salad dressing on the side.
- Here, let's switch.
- Oh.
- No, that's okay. I don't mind.
- Ah, nonsense.
Not with the way
they pour it in restaurants.
You know, all the calories are
in the dressing.
CAROL: And that's just my cousin
on my dad's side.
There are so many more on my mom's side.
What's wrong, Beta? You're not hungry?
Nothing. I'm fine.
- What about the boy?
- Mom, Dad,
I'm Actually, I'm-I'm not
even ready to date boys.
Good. School first.
- That's our Bela.
- (KACEY LAUGHS)
(COUGHS) Sorry.
I choked on my dry salad.
(PHONE BUZZES)
What's wrong? Was it the oysters?
- Mine were very raw.
- No, it's worse.
You know how I scroll the apps
to pass the time,
- boost my self-esteem, sometimes lower it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, did that yesterday.
- Yeah, I guess.
Well, I scrolled into a nightmare.
- Uh-oh. Isaiah?
- No, that's nothing.
We see each other on there a
lot. I helped him edit his pics.
This is apocalyptic.
BELA: Your dad?!
- This is crazy.
- (DEVICE CLICKS)
- Really, Kacey?
- What?
You don't have to have had sex
to respect an older man's magnetism.
Yeah, I bet he doesn't
have to try too hard.
Bela!
Hold on.
Apps aren't just for hooking up.
That could be the sweet smirk
of a dad looking for romance.
If you look at his profile,
- we can Oops.
- (GASPS)
Oops? What did you oops?
I just swiped right on your dad.
You did what?!
TRACEY: Miss Congeniality might as well
- just be an autobiography.
- (MOUTHS)
- TRACEY: You know? She is
- Everything okay?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm normal.
So, Eli wants to join us when we go see
the Barre City Library tomorrow.
What? You invited him?
- It's, like, a four-hour drive.
- I know.
I'm excited to see what makes
this old library so special.
What makes this old library special
is that it's an old library.
Is something wrong?
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
You seem stressed tonight.
Because I want to break up with him!
What?
Wow.
KIMBERLY: Uh
I'm sorry.
I didn't want to do this here.
But, yes, I think we should break up.
Really? Why? Is this 'cause
Dick Cheney's my godfather?
What? I didn't even know that. No.
Can we talk about this in private?
It's not like we talk anymore.
I mean, he's never reached out
to me, but
Who's Dick Cheney?
So
you want to break up.
I thought things were going well.
I just bought us a new psychedelic
I thought we could try together.
It comes from a cactus.
Okay, but what about me
makes you think I'd like that?
You're from Arizona.
I thought you love cacti.
Look, Eli, I like you,
but we just live
very, very different lives.
Case in point, I would
never smoke a cactus drug.
You don't smoke it you snort it.
That's even worse.
I know this is
a stereotypical breakup line,
but I really would like to stay friends.
Well, I'd be lying
if I said I wasn't bummed.
But I appreciate you saying that.
♪
Sorry about that, everyone.
Who needs another glass of wine?
(CHUCKLES)
No, but, seriously,
all's good. Let's eat.
And I'm fine, too.
We're staying friends.
CAROL: Well, that's so nice.
Kids can be so mature these days.
ELI: Mmm!
Mmm, these ribs are fantastic.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
We got to come here more often.
- That was fun.
- CAROL: Yeah.
DAVID: Even more fun I just got
a new app that can split the bill
and calculate the tip with just one
Oh, wow.
- No, don't click on that.
- Okay.
TRACEY: Is everything okay?
Okay, how 'bout I just put
my card down and pay
for the whole thing?
All right? That's easier.
So all of us can end and we can leave.
- End and leave.
- Thank you.
Kiki, honey, why don't we take
these leftovers back for Calvin?
Oh, I don't think
that's such a good idea.
It's actually become a stomach
bug, too. He just texted me.
Oh, dear. Well, a good girlfriend
would at least bring him
some electrolytes or some soup.
I really think it's fine, Mom.
Okay, well, if you're not
gonna do it, then I will,
because I'm practically
his mother-in-law.
Not anymore.
We broke up.
TRACEY: Are you serious?
- What did you do?
- Nothing. I was just
People don't just break up
for no reason, Kiki.
This is awful. Our Christmas
cruise to the Caribbean.
Your dad and him already booked
slots on the climbing wall.
- You know how hard those are to get.
- I know.
Calvin must be heartbroken.
- Calvin sucks.
- BELA: Yes, he's a cheating,
lying piece of trash.
Yeah, it's true. Kacey's way better off
- without that douchebag.
- Excuse me, excuse me,
but this is a family discussion.
And where I come from,
we respect people's privacy, so
Bollocks. Who cares where you're from?
Maybe you should care less
about privacy and appearances
and more about why
your daughter's too scared
to talk to you.
- BELA: Hmm.
- TAYLOR: Hmm? Hmm?
Thank you all again for having me.
Should we do it again
in the morning for brunch?
9:00 a.m.? Who's paying?
♪
Beta, can we talk for a moment?
REENA: We understand
that you're not comfortable
discussing romance with us.
But your dad and I also aren't stupid.
We know that college
is a place for new experiences
and that you may have
even shared a kiss with a boy.
Yes. One kiss with one boy.
We don't need to talk about it.
And I have no opinion
about Arvind or his ancestry.
Even though it seems
he comes from a good family.
Two of his uncles have been
Jeopardy champions.
What? Preeti Auntie did some digging.
Mom, Dad, what are you
What we're trying to tell you
is that, since you came here,
whether we agree
with your decisions or not,
what we are most proud of
is that you go for what you want.
And no matter what,
you're never too scared to fail.
REENA: Come here, Beta.
- We love you.
- (CHUCKLING)
- Mwah.
- Love you, too.
I said "It's over"
and walked away ♪
So, you saw my dating profile.
I did.
And you liked it?
No, that part was a mistake
that will follow me to hell.
But it's okay.
We don't need to talk about it.
I understand.
You are an adult single male,
and you have
- sex.
- (CHUCKLES)
Wait, that's what you think
I'm on that app for?
I've been single for 15 years.
I've never needed an app for that.
- Oh, kill me. Kill me now.
- Now, honey,
after your mom and I split,
I stayed single for a lot of reasons.
But, mostly, I thought being alone
was the easiest way to pursue my dreams.
It turned out any success felt empty
without someone to share it with.
- I'm sorry.
- No, no. D-Don't apologize.
I'm not sad. I'm
optimistic about meeting someone.
Like you could be
with your situationship.
(GASPS) Oh, my God,
you did not just do that.
I can't. We're not doing that.
- Is this our car?
- (STAMMERING)
I don't even care. I'm getting in.
♪
I'm sorry about tonight.
I know you really liked Eli.
Oh, honey, you are
my greatest life accomplishment.
You could never disappoint me.
Oh, Mom.
But can I say one thing?
You have such clear focus
on what you want
and how you want your life to go.
It wouldn't hurt you
to keep an open mind.
Don't decide everything
about your future right now.
For example,
I never thought I would marry
someone who wore wrist jewelry,
but then I met your father.
I appreciate that and get it.
But, wait, Dad wears wrist jewelry?
Oh. Yeah, I mean, not anymore.
It bothers his eczema too much.
But, boy, back in the day,
he would jingle-jangle.
Could hear him
through the house like a dog.
(CHUCKLING)
It was cute.
TRACEY: I'm sorry
about the breakup, honey.
Yeah, I'm gonna be seeing
Calvin's mom at the country club.
Is this something
that you two are working through
- or
- No, he cheated on me.
We are done.
Okay. Understood.
I only got upset earlier
because I love you
and I want you to be okay.
It's not easy to be out
in the world without a partner.
Don't worry, Mom.
I'm doing okay.
Good.
And don't you worry
some handsome and successful boy
is gonna snatch you right up.
Because you
are as beautiful as your mother.
- (CHUCKLES)
- Oh, my God, we almost forgot.
We got to take our picture together.
Oh
What are you doing?
You are gonna freeze.
I think I look better this way.
Okay.
- ("WEEKNIGHT" BY LIYV PLAYING)
- And we go out ♪
(SHUTTER SOUND EFFECT)
And-and-and we go out ♪
Out, and we go out ♪
♪
Too bored to go out ♪
But we don't want to go out anyway ♪
KIMBERLY: I got in!
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
You'll bring the wine ♪
I cut the top with a knife
'cause we lost the corkscrew ♪
Bela?
- What are you doing here?
- I'm sorry I lied to you.
I only did it because I like
you. Like, I like you like you.
And I thought if our parents
met, it would ruin things.
But I realized lying made it way worse.
I'm sorry I'm being really weird.
It's just I-I've been in my mind
ever since I met you and I
You okay?
Sorry. I didn't ask for consent.
No. Um, it's just
My parents are right there,
- across the street in the car.
- Oh. Hey.
- Uh, yeah, don't wave. Let's go inside.
- Yeah. That makes sense.
Nice meeting you, Arvind!
All right. Nice meeting you, too!