The Simple Life (2003) s02e05 Episode Script

Episode 5

I can't believe Britney Spears is from here.
- She is? - Yeah.
- No wonder she lives in L.
A.
- I know.
Well, the girls are rolling on in to Louisiana, better known as Cajun country, and they're going to add a little spice of their own.
Life around here is very easygoing.
It's quiet.
A little work and a little time to play.
My family's a real outdoorsy family.
I don't know what to expect from them girls.
I think Paris and Nicole coming will be a good experience, because I've never had an older sister before.
I think we're up for the challenge.
I think I'd like to see 'em try to adapt to our living.
Ew-- it's all swamp they live on it.
They live on a swamp? Oh, my god.
Great, I'm wearing all white.
Hi.
- I'm Paris.
- Hi, Paris.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
Nicole.
My name's Laurette Meekay.
We really look forward to y'all spending time with us here.
I might keep an eye on Paris and Nicole with Jenny, just in case .
.
they try to teach her something fancy.
- Hi.
- This is Jenny.
Nice to meet you.
This is my husband, Mitch.
- Hi, Mitch.
- Hi, Paris.
And this is my son, Jude.
Hi, Jude.
- I'm Paris.
- Hello, Paris.
- How old are you? - Eighteen.
That's legal.
I'm just hoping to make it out of this one alive.
That's hot.
Let's take two girls both filthy rich Isn't that Paris Hilton? From the bright lights down to the sticks from velvet ropes to cattle pulls let's take away their limousines, their credit cards and shopping sprees well, they're both spoiled rotten will they cry when they hit bottom? Heaven knows if they'll survive this simple road trip kind of life.
Where the hell are we? - Do y'all fish? - I love fishing.
- Y'all love fishing? - Maybe we better take y'all out fishing.
- Y'all know what a sacalait is? - No.
- Crappie? - No.
- A white perch? - No.
Mm, okay.
What you think, Jenny? I think we need to go shopping.
I'm not like my family.
My sister Jenny's a real indoor type girl.
I like to shop a lot.
I think Jenny will fit in better with Paris and Nicole, because she's interested in that kind of life.
You know, the makeup, the fancy clothes.
You have a little date? I have a friend coming over.
- A boy? - Yeah.
Geez.
- Have you kissed him? - No.
- Never? - Never.
- Promise? - Promise.
Like, you're just talking, just, like, a little kiss on the cheek or something, right? Like a little peck.
No, like, some tongue action.
Some tongue action? She's too young for that.
She shouldn't have been kissed yet.
We'll help you get ready and we'll do your makeup.
We're good at that.
Yeah.
Let me get you some money.
There you go.
Geez, the plastic.
You have a limit.
- What is it? - $75.
- Okay.
- Okay.
So, your mom gave you a limit? (Bleep) that.
Let's go crazy.
Baby, let the games begin girls gone wild reality tv style It has, like, a pushup bra.
Working hard using daddy's credit card If you're having a guy come over, then you need a new pair of underwear.
- Underwear? - Yes.
G-string.
girls, girls, girls gone wild girls, girls, girls gone wild girls, girls, girls gone wild Let's go pick out outfits that we can try on.
Mmm.
Okay.
I like my new big breasts.
- They're hot.
- Don't you? Yes.
Don't mind the space right here.
I swear they're all mine.
You look sexual.
Your boobs are touching mine.
It's silly.
Oh, my god.
I would die.
Would you die? I'm so glad I'm flat.
Excuse me, would you mind taking a picture of us? All right, let's teach you how to walk in heels.
She's never worn sticks before.
Isn't that cute? What are sticks? High heels.
That's cute.
Paris will teach you.
This is how models do it.
Try it.
Shake your hips.
See? You have to walk just one foot in front of the other.
Like you're walking down a runway.
See? See? You're really good.
It's hot.
Yeah.
Loves it.
That's hot.
You could do the runway.
Do you have makeup? You like that? Yeah.
It's awesome.
Okay, I got it.
Hi.
Your total comes to $489.
76.
It's not a big deal.
I feel bad.
There's no price on looking beautiful.
Did you know that one dress was that expensive, and you still kept shopping? I wasn't even worried about it.
Huh? You weren't worried about it? You see, what you're teaching me is that I can't let you go with my credit card.
Okay.
The girls spent $489 when they had a budget of $75.
I don't want to scold just you, because they were there too, and they knew your limit.
Y'all taking her shopping was really sweet, and y'all bought some nice clothes, but you have to take them back.
But mama, they're so pretty.
Sorry.
We might let you keep the makeup packet 'cause you could probably use that anyway.
Cool? Yes.
All right.
Well, the girls don't seem to appreciate the value of a hard-earned dollar, but they're about to, at their next job.
Y'all are going to be going to Pierre port, and y'all going to be going to the public boat landing over there, and y'all gon' ask for Mr.
Bradley.
Mr.
Bradley's gonna be waiting for y'all over there.
I'm gonna heave.
- What is that? - I don't know.
Hi.
We're looking for Mr.
Bradley.
Here I am.
Ew! There is my son, Booboo.
How y'all doing? Hi.
After we cut the baits, we're gonna bait the traps up.
Tomorrow morning, we're gonna grab the trap.
They'll have crawfish in them.
And this is what I want.
A full sack of crawfish.
That way, we keep the money.
It stinks so bad.
When I first seen Paris and Nicole, I never thought they was going make it crawfishing.
It's not our style of clothes.
You can't go out crawfishing with polished fingernails.
It's not crawfishing clothes, but it was good enough for me.
This afternoon, make sure y'all bait 65 traps, okay? Mm-hmm.
I want 65 pieces of fish, and 65 piece of meat.
Got it? Ach! Ew.
Ugh.
It's so annoying.
Ew.
Ah! How long has that fish been sitting there? A year.
It looks disgusting.
They're city girls.
You can tell, you know? Ew! Get on it.
Get on it.
It's getting late.
We gotta go.
Cut it.
That's sick.
It's flying everywhere.
Ugh, there's bugs flying in my face.
Aha.
Uh-oh.
Okay, if you can only put two fish.
I don't want to get in trouble.
What? If you can only put two fish, it'll be good.
You're not gonna get in trouble.
We did it.
I thought you meant two full fish.
No, just two pieces.
Oh.
Sorry.
Let's make a vegetarian one.
We'll probably get more than you guys get, because we put a lot in each thing.
We're done.
Good job, Nicole.
Good job.
How many traps do you think we did? You might have did 25.
Uh-huh.
How many were we supposed to do? So y'all are gonna lie and tell my dad and tell him y'all did 65? - Did y'all get all my traps? - Yep.
- All of them? - Yep.
How many is in there, do you think? I'd say about 450, maybe 500.
And how many do you usually catch in each? - Each trap? - Yeah.
It depends.
Sometime you catch 8, 10, 12, 15.
Some of them three, four.
Four? Sometimes four.
So, like, if you put more bait than usual, then you would get more fish.
No, no, you catch the same.
Oh.
Oh.
There's no chance in hell that them girls are gonna catch more than two pounds of crawfish.
Well, while the traps sit overnight, the girls are off to a good old-fashioned crawfish boil.
It's crawfish and gumbo, gumbo, gumbo crawfish and gumbo, gumbo, gumbo crawfish and gumbo, hey! Down on shell beach road.
Yeah, I see one of my good friends over here tonight, y'all, miss Paris Hilton.
- Hi.
- Hey, Paris.
- What's up? - Oh, not too much.
- How are you doing? - Good.
- Where's, uh, Nicole? - She's sick.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
She's gonna miss a good boiling.
Yeah.
Have fun.
Bye.
Thanks for having me.
Gross me out.
Okay.
Well, seeing all these crawfish everywhere gave Paris an idea.
Who's the chef? That would be me.
When they're not cooked, are they different looking than when they are boiled? - The pig? - The crawfish.
Oh, no, they, they're basically a little lighter color.
I have a plan that's gonna get us a lot of crawfish.
Miss Hilton, you must be worth a trillion bucks Nobody said it was a good plan.
Miss Hilton, I like the way you push and glide Is there any more? Roller skates on a social butterfly, well I'm so hungry.
Miss Hilton.
I don't want to go to work today.
We're totally (bleep).
Do you know that? We're gonna have, like, two fish.
I have a surprise.
Presents.
A purse? Ew! Oh, my god.
They smell gorgeous.
Where'd you get these? Last night at the party there was like, literally, like tubs full of them.
We should fill the whole bag.
Don't Can you not get this, that stuff anywhere near me, please? I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
Oh, y'all wanna turn y'all trough over.
Look how many we got.
Quite a lot.
Y eah.
What do we do? Dump 'em in there.
Ew, that one's head broke off.
Where are the, um, fish we? How long have you been doing this? - A long time.
- How long? Since I was old enough to do this.
Let me see your eyes.
They're so pretty.
Thank you.
Let's go to the next one.
We got a lot.
Next.
You have beautiful coloring.
Thank you.
Is this tan natural? No tanning salon? Next one.
No.
That's a lot of crawfish.
Thanks.
Give me a hug.
This sack is full.
The whole sack already? The whole sack.
Y'all really learn quick.
I know.
Think it's from all the bait y'all put? Yes.
Definitely.
Rick, I want you to meet somebody.
Nicole, Paris, this is Ricky Lander.
Hi, Nicole.
Nice to meet you.
- How old are you? - 17.
Do you love it? I guess.
Rick, now they studied crawfishing from me, and they got a couple of sacks of crawfish.
Would you buy one? Running pretty nice? Yeah, they're really nice.
You want to check them out first, Rick? Yeah, let's take a look at them.
Don't mash 'em! The best I can do is 78 bucks.
Thanks.
Can we just break, like, for a hundred, so you could just give us one bill? That's it.
Not even $80? Girls, $78.
$20, $40, $60, $75, $6, $7, and $8.
Thanks.
Bye, guys.
Thank you.
All right, Booboo.
Thank you.
Bye, babe, bye.
Y'all really worked hard.
Bye.
We know.
Bye, guys.
Oh, so funny.
These are boiled.
Boiled.
That was fun.
And we got away with it.
As usual.
Well, back at the Meekay's, it's time for Jenny's first date.
Paris and Nicole is gonna, uh, chaperone your little date tonight so me and mom can go eat out, if that's all right.
Um, I'd like to go over the rules with you.
Okay.
Okay.
You're only 13 years old, so No high heels.
No skimpy clothes.
Not too much makeup.
No short skirts.
No kissing.
Definitely no perfume.
We want you to be very respectable.
Paris and Nicole, make sure you're all with them at all times.
It's her first date.
It's her first date.
She's only 13 years old.
I have faith in them that they'll watch over everything, and, and she'll be all proper.
Okay, bye, guys.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Y'all be good.
They're gone.
Yeah.
Let's get slutty.
Ooh, oh, yeah, yeah oh, what a night it's ladies' night.
Whoo! This is your night tonight everything's gonna be all right this is your night tonight come on, girls! When Paris is done, we're gonna make these parts really straight and come forward.
Do you love it? I love it.
Loves it.
So pretty.
Good.
So, do you want some dos and don'ts? Sure.
Okay.
Do be cute.
Don't be a slut.
Okay.
This is your night tonight everything's gonna be all right this is your night tonight So cute.
Our little girl's growing up.
Everything's gonna be all right.
I'm Nicole.
I'm Matt.
Hi, Matt.
I'm Paris.
Want to sit down? Yes, ma'am.
So, what do you think of our girl? She's good.
She's sweet.
She's great.
Smart.
Mm-hmm.
Beautiful.
Mm-hmm.
Funny.
Sexy.
Intelligent.
Have you kissed someone before? Yeah.
Who? How many people? I don't know.
You don't know how many people? Who's the first girl you kissed? Brenda.
Oh, I know her.
- How old were you? - She's knocked up on the street.
- No! - Yeah.
You're a little player.
Better keep that tongue inside your face tonight.
- All right? - All right.
You sure? You know I know where you live, and I know what your name is.
And if you hurt her, I will hunt you down and I will kill you.
So just be nice.
Okay.
- Ready, girl? - Yeah.
All right.
Hey.
What's up? You're pretty.
Thanks.
Glad you're here.
I feel bad.
We have to go out there.
They're just like If we sit on the couch they're, like, 13 years old.
They're not gonna talk.
We're cooking some burgers.
- You want some? - Yeah.
Cool.
Let's go.
Hey, guys, let's go frogging.
What do you think? You down? No problem.
She sat, looking over, playing with her hair as I look back, she was staring as if she didn't care so I sit there and I wonder should I play it cool? Maybe I should risk it, looking like a fool the girl from next door she looks like an angel the girl from next door she's driving me crazy the girl from next door What's going on back here? Nothing.
You sure? Yes.
You sure? Uh-huh.
Aw! Let me see it.
Froggles.
Gorgeous.
Nothing happened.
Kiss it.
Ugh.
He's a wild one.
Bye.
The girl from next door, she looks like an angel.
We're gonna leave you two alone to say your good-byes.
Bye, guys.
Bye.
You had fun? Yeah.
You have fun? Yeah.
You impressed with my driving? Mmm.
Cool.
It's so cute to see, like, I know, their faces.
It's like they're so nervous.
I just wanted like, when she looked in the mirror, like, she was, like, smiling so big.
She looked beautiful.
She really did.
Didn't she? Talk to you at school in the morning.
Bye.
See you later.
Bye-bye.
Yeah.
It was really cute.
She'll be pregnant in six months.
Yeah! That's hot.