The Soul Man (2012) s01e12 Episode Script

Momma's Home

1 Last time on the soul man I'm moving to florida with your uncle ellis.
As you would say, Bam! Moving to florida? Selling your house, buying a boat? Daddy, how long have you been thinking about this? Oh, we we have got to figure out a way To stop pop from moving to florida.
This is a great opportunity for your father.
Y'all two being selfish.
We need to get this thing under control.
Daddy's talking about flying out tonight.
We have got to stop acting like babies And start handling this like men.
I'm callin' momma.
Hey, don't drag her into this.
All right? She hasn't talked to dad Since they been divorced.
Hi, everybody! I'm back! Momma? Della? Grandma? What are you doing here? This really is the storm of the century.
I've missed you, grandma.
Oh, lyric, look at you.
Momma, did stamps drag you all the way down here? He called me ten times in tears.
I was not in tears, okay? I was just out of breath.
From crying.
It's good seeing you, momma.
Oh, well, I had to come and see The new and improved barton ballentine That stamps has been telling me about.
Well, here I am.
Thanks for stopping by.
I like your dress.
I'm going to florida.
Will you come to grandpa's going away party tonight? - Yeah! - Oh, I would love to, lyric.
And I will make you some of my famous peach cobbler.
Oh, no, no, no, della, you just got into town.
You don't have to cook, I made everything.
My boys love my cobbler.
And, barton, I know you can't resist it.
Well, since you came all this way, I guess I owe it to you to eat your cobbler.
Okay.
Does he does he know What that sounded like? I don't think he does.
- The Soul man - - S01E12 - So tell me, lolli, How are you handling being a first lady? Have you started pulling all your hair out yet? No, some of this is still mine.
Well, enjoy it while you've got it.
It took me three years to grow mine back.
It's that church, it's like a piranha.
Just gnawing at your life one bite at a time.
Momma, come on now.
Being a first lady isn't that bad.
See, that's the biggest part of the problem.
They don't even know what we're going through.
People calling all hours with their problems, People sick, people dying.
Everybody needs the pastor, Don't nobody care about the pastor's wife.
You make it all sound so bleak.
Oh, you gonna be prayin' for bleak.
Man! That storm is really kicking up there.
Yeah, seem like the real storm is in here.
Li'l boyce, take this out to the table for your momma.
Yes, ma'am.
Now, I'm gonna take it out there, But I can't promise it's gonna make it.
Ooh yeah So have you told him yet? Told him what? Oh! Tell the truth and shame the devil, girl.
You pregnant.
Pregnant? What what are you talking about? I'm talking about all that glow you got goin' on.
And you gettin' full all up in around there.
oh, della, I've always been full up there.
So tell me, How late are you? Momma della, I'm serious.
I am not Lolli? A month.
Okay, but what am I gonna do? I can't be pregnant.
Well, did you take the test? I bought it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Well, why not, for heaven's sakes? It's so efficient.
Girl, back in the day we had to kill a rabbit.
Why haven't you told boyce? Because we talked, you know, a couple years ago.
We decided we were only gonna have one child.
We move here, he started the church, It's just not a good time.
Well, let me say this.
When I started not telling my barton things Because I thought he didn't have time to deal with it, Girl, that was the beginning of the end.
Okay.
You know what? You're right.
I'm gonna tell him.
But it's not gonna be a big deal, Because I'm probably not pregnant anyway.
Mm.
Uh uh, let me see your hand.
Hmm.
Looks like you might want to Paint that spare bedroom Blue.
Reverend, The church is really gonna miss your daddy.
He truly is a fine and pious man.
You think I can get his parking space? Oh, sorry.
Too soon? Boyce, you talk to mom yet? Pop's gonna be here any second.
Uh, yeah.
And if he comes, Why don't you keep him preoccupied While I go work my magic on mom, Since I'm her favorite son and all.
Yeah, you might be her favorite, But momma says I was a surprise.
No, no, she said you were an accident.
Surprise.
Whoohoo-hoo.
Cherry pie, peach cobbler, blueberry crumble, Momma, you only been here an hour.
I'm slowing up in my old age.
Doesn't sound like you are, though.
What are you talkin' about, momma? Oh, nothing, nothing.
Nothing.
What do you wanna talk to me about? Oh We want you to stop dad from moving to florida.
Well, what's wrong with your father moving to florida? Are you kidding me? Sitting in the sun? Fishing, drinking mai tais? What kind of fun is that? And you're sure the real reason ain't because You afraid to run that church by yourself? No, no, momma.
No, I got this preaching thing down.
- Uh-huh.
- You oughta see me In the pulpit.
All right, I admit it, he's my rock.
Well, I do not want to take your rock away from you.
Because a child needs his father, And don't you forget that.
Oh Okay.
Now you hang on, I gotta take this bun out the oven.
That's a pie, momma.
Bun, pie, whatever it is, we all gonna love it.
Babe, look at lyric.
All grown up.
Do you ever miss the times when she was a little baby? right.
Baby, come on.
That colicky little thing? I don't know who cried more, you or her.
We didn't sleep for three years.
Thank god that's over with.
Okay, you know what? I need to talk to you about something Mmhmm, I'ma talk to you too, 'cause you lookin' good, girl.
I don't know what it is, you know? If it wasn't no party goin' on here tonight, It'd be a party goin' on tonight.
Baby You got that glow, I like it.
- About that glow, here's the - Oh, daddy's here.
Momma, daddy! Boy, that storm is coming in hard out there.
It's gonna be quite a tornado out there.
It's called a derecho, granddad.
Since when? I'm tired of these weathermen comin' up with new names For something that's been around forever.
Tornado was good enough for my grandfather, It was good enough for my father, And it's good enough for me.
Ahem.
A toast! To the man of the hour.
I think I express the thoughts of everyone in this room When I say, Daddy, please don't leave, I ain't gonna have a place to live! Okay, brother, that's good.
Sorry.
Hey hey dad, someone's here.
Mom! Remember her? You used to be married to her.
Oh, you two haven't had a chance to talk, have you? No, we haven't.
Hi, barton.
Della.
Ooh, Y'all should go in there and have Some of that cobbler you love so much, mm-hmm? Uh, I well, Maybe I should mingle first.
I don't want to be rude.
Lester! How you doin'? Uh, me? Uh I'm fine.
I'm gonna miss you, old friend.
Old friend? You never liked me.
Why would you say that? Because you said you never liked me.
Well, that doesn't mean we can't be friends.
Uh, well, actually, it does.
All right, all right, that's it.
Daddy, you're going to talk to mom.
But I haven't finished mingling! Honey, honey, honey? - Yeah, baby? - I really need To talk to you about something.
Sure.
You have my undivided attention.
In just a minute.
Here you go, barton.
And I put some vanilla ice cream on top, Just like you like it.
How is it? It's good.
mm-hmm.
You won't be getting any of that down in florida.
I wasn't getting any of it here, till today.
Okay.
I'm gonna just let you two talk.
No, stay, boyce.
Um, you a pastor now.
We may be needing some counseling.
Okay.
But remember I'm also your son, So let's keep it "pg.
" Okay, barton, tell me what's going on.
I know you don't wanna move to no florida.
No offense, della, But how would you know anything about what I want? Whoa, whoa.
Daddy, you know, I don't think you let mom kind of get Know what? I'm gonna stay out of it.
You are still mad at me, aren't you? Mad? Why would I be mad at you? Just 'cause you gave up on us? Ohsee, that's good.
Let's talk about those emotions, express that.
I just did.
Well, why don't you just tell me how you feel? Oh, trust me, you don't wanna know how I feel.
No, barton, you need to get this out.
You have been needing to get this out for a long time.
All right, I'll tell you how I feel.
Betrayed.
How could you just walk out? I did not just walk out.
I had been trying to talk to you for years.
The church always got in the way.
Got in the way of what? You "finding" yourself? I'll tell you where to find yourself: On the corner of self and centered.
Whoa! Whoa daddy, you know, Let's, uh, try to keep the name-calling out of it.
Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.
It didn't seem that hard to me.
That's because you didn't notice How bad things had gotten for me! Della, I know I wasn't the perfect husband.
No, you weren't.
But I still miss you At breakfast every morning.
You broke my heart, della.
I know.
Good stuff, guys.
Good stuff.
This is good, this is the first step That you take, and do You know, I actually have a book on all of the steps That you could You y'all Y'all skipping a few of the steps.
Babe, sister pearly called, and Whoa.
Hallelujah! Seems like the real party's Goin' on in here.
Yeah,ballentines after dark.
Well, if anybody's interested, Pearly says that the power's out all over the south county.
They're looting at shnuck's grocery, And worst of all, the wind took her wig.
Oh, my god! Huh.
So we should all be on the lookout For tumbling tumble-weaves.
Huh? Come on, now! Tumble? Weaves? You can hate all you want to, but I'm tweeting that.
First, I need you to get down to the church And fire up the beast.
That old generator is gonna be The only power we have in this neighborhood.
Gotcha, chief.
Look at our son, taking charge.
- We done good.
- We done good.
Babe, so I know that you Wanted to talk to me about something, And I promised you I would.
So, what is it? Okay.
It's probably nothing serious Can we start going over to the church now? No, I think we're good.
As long as we still have power, we all right What about now? Hey, may I have your attention, please? Everybody! Everybody, please, Your attention.
Now.
The generator is working.
So you have light and warmth for the night.
But I have to lay down a few ground rules.
Now, reverend ballentine is not here yet.
And as you know, when the pastor is absent, Ultimate authority Passes to the choirmaster.
It does? Do not question the choirmaster.
Now, my rules will be harsh But fair.
Lester? Les, I got it.
- They're not listening at all.
- Uh-huh.
Nobody saw my tweet, reverend.
Thank you, daddy.
Uh Hello, brothers and sisters.
Um, members of the church, And members of the community who just need a place to stay.
Shalom, rabbi.
So everybody please, just you know, just get comfortable.
Try to get you some sleep.
I mean, for god's sake, it's already 8:30? Oh, this gonna be a long night.
Here, you want a water, della? Have you told your husband yet? No.
I haven't found the right time.
And I don't know how he's gonna react.
I mean, what if he's not happy? Wait what if he is happy, and I'm unhappy? What if it's twins? What if it's triplets? What if I'm octomom? This is actually a good song.
Now, I don't approve of the words, But it's got a nice beat.
I approve of the words.
Oh, you do, do you? Barton, you do not really Want to go to florida, do you? I don't really know anymore.
I-I thought I wanted something new, But now I realize You want something old.
Not old.
Just familiar.
Oh, baby.
Ohhey, we didn't know you guys were in here.
Don't stop dancing on our account.
All right, now.
Babe, that's so sweet.
I don't know if "sweet" would be the word I would use For my momma and daddy dancing To me singing I wanna have sex witchoo.
All right, you two, Inquiring minds want to know.
What are y'all gonna do? Well, we really haven't discussed it yet.
Frequent flier miles.
By the way, Tell lester I'll still be needing my parking space.
I've decided not to move to florida.
Oh.
That's good, so you Not gonna move to florida.
That's that's great.
Excuse me for a second.
yes! Welcome back, daddy.
Barton, let's give these two a little time to themselves.
They haven't had a chance to talk all day.
I'll be expecting this jukebox and all that crap on the wall To be out of here by Monday.
Yeah, that's the daddy I know right there.
Hey, babe, so Look, I already know what it is That you want to talk to me about.
- You do? - Yeah.
After hearing mom and dad talk about what broke them up.
Well, we could talk about that, but I was Now now, I know you're worried about All that stuff momma was talking about.
How the church consumes you, And how it eats us up like penguins.
Piranhas.
You know, that makes so much more sense now.
I was wondering why I kept Hearing morgan freeman in my head.
Babe, I just want to let you know That I will not let that happen to us.
You're more than the first lady of the church.
You're my first lady.
And I love you.
Ohh Boyce, I love you too.
And I think I might be pregnant.
Pregnant? Like, with a baby? Yeah, that's the kind.
I, uh I took a test, But I wanted to wait And share the results with you.
So there's a possibility we're having a baby? Mmhmm.
Wow.
What you think? Well, I th I think I'm happy.
You know? You know, I'm surprised.
A little worried, a little nervous, A little terrified, you know, kind of Happy, surprised and ev You know, I'm "nervouserrified.
" How you feel? The same.
Should we find out? And by "we," I mean you.
'Cause I can't look at it.
Okay.
Wow.
I don't know, babe, I Feel like I'm on maury povich.
So, uh I take it a negative sign means, um We're not pregnant.
We're not pregnant.
whoo! Is it wrong that I feel so relieved? no, baby.
I actually feel relieved too, I mean, but, it does raise the question.
Well, You think that, uh, We should talk about it? I mean, you giving me a little Chocolate baby, and all? yeah.
Maybe we should talk about it.
So, earlier when you said, Ahem, that I was glowing.
Did you mean it? Of course, baby.
You always glow.
mmm Ah, sounds like mom Got lester playing her favorite song.
your momma's gonna be so disappointed That I'm not pregnant.
I don't know, with all that kissing they was doing, She might be pregnant.
oh, happy day oh, happy day Um, daddy, y'all, come on up here.
Stamps? amen, everybody.
Well, as you can tell the storm has passed us over, And the electricity has been restored.
Now, the bad news is that old generator, the beast, is dead.
But remember, "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
" Amen! Oh, happy day oh, happy day oh, happy day oh, happy day it was a happy day Sing for me! When I get to heaven oh, happy day gonna see it shine down oh, happy day ain't nobody oh, happy day gonna turn me out oh, happy day oh, it was a happy day oh, happy day is everybody happy oh, happy day clap your hands right now oh, happy day come on, sing it oh, happy day the wretch is past us oh, happy day oh, happy happy day, y'all Amen!