The Suite Life of Zack & Cody s01e01 Episode Script

Hotel Hangout

Mom! Why can't you drive us to the playground? Because I have to rehearse new choreography for my next show.
Mr.
moseby thinks I need some younger moves.
What do you think? I think you should never do that in public.
Or in private.
Why don't you guys invite over some friends from school? That's a great idea.
Too bad we don't have any.
Nobody ever likes the new kids.
Come here.
You'll make friends soon.
We're here to stay now.
Not if you use those moves.
[All gasping.]
Impressive catch, Esteban.
If you thought that was impressive, Mr.
moseby, watch this.
[All yell.]
Ooh! I can hear the ocean.
Let me hear! I wanna hear! Here I am in your life here you are in mine yes, we have a suite life most of the time you and me got the world to see so come on down just me and you know what to do so come on down it's you and me and me and you we got the whole place to ourselves you and me, we got it all for free so come on down this is the suite life we've got a suite life London, I need to speak with you.
Not now, moseby.
I'm off to a gala premier.
Oh, no, you're not.
I just received a fax from your father.
You are to cease all social activities until your grades improve.
That is so unfair.
I have to keep my grades up, but his new wife is allowed to drop out of college? He also insisted I hire you a tutor.
When is he gonna realize that education and me just don't mix? Education and I.
Hello? This isn't about you.
Ok.
That's $9.
12, minus your 8% senior discount is $8.
38.
Out of 10? [Beep.]
You beat the cash register! And you read! Maddie can be your new tutor.
What?! What?! There isn't enough money in the world.
I'll pay you triple your salary.
Apparently there is enough.
Cody, check it out.
It's the drew crew.
Yo, drew.
What up, dawg? Ha! Hey, look, it's the clones.
[Crew laughs.]
Did you hear that? The drew crew just mocked us! Woo-hoo! We're in.
The drew crew will never accept you.
Don't beat your head against a wall.
Even thought it feels good sometimes.
I'm Max, by the way.
And this is tapeworm.
What kind of name is that? The kind you get when you eat 20 hot dogs in less than 2 minutes.
Cool! Beats my record.
By 18.
Hey! You guys wanna come over to our house? Did you hear that? SOMEONE WANTS US TO COME OVER TO THEIR HOUSE! Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh and cross and kick and step uh uh and a no, no, no, no, no, no, no Mom! OK.
What are you doing? Apparently I'm embarrassing myself in front of your new friends.
You made friends! Maybe.
Whoa! This is so tight! I was just rehearsing for-- [hip-hop playing.]
My new show.
Man, look at you go.
Hey, hey dog, slippery dog dog, eh, dog, eh Wow! Can you show me how you do that? Sure.
Hey, hey hey [Song ends.]
Ok.
No.
The part a mom can actually do.
Oh, ok.
So how's your research on Italy coming? Oh, fantastic! I had no idea fabrizio sold dresses over the Internet.
I'll order you one.
What are you A 14? Yes! The same as your iq.
I have to get downstairs.
He's probably there already.
Who's there? No one.
No one who?! Is he cute? Ha.
It's nothing.
It's just the new lifeguard.
He always buys gum before his shift.
[Sighs.]
Spearmint.
Has he asked you out yet? Well, not in so many words.
Or in any words really.
I mean, you know how it is when you really like a guy and he has no idea that you exist.
No.
I should go.
I'm late.
You know, if you want him to notice you, don't be there.
While he's chewing gum, he'll be consumed with thoughts of you.
Where is she? Why isn't she here? Is she on a hot date? Hunh.
I never thought of that.
You may be book smart, but trust me on this.
When it comes to things that truly matter, like dating, it's time for the pupil to become the pupee.
Hey, clones.
Is it true that you really live in the tipton hotel? Yeah, our mom sings there.
And it makes your place look like a dump.
Yeah.
And are there really hot babes serving ice cream by the pool? And we're talkin' 'bout the girls.
Maybe we'll, uh Come over and hang out.
You wanna hang out with us? Of course, he does.
You know, I've always liked you 2.
No, you didn't.
Ow! Quit it! What's up? So, umWhere were you yesterday? 'Cause, like, I was here, and you weren't.
Oh, I was with-- be mysterious, aloof.
Torture him.
[Pop.]
Someone.
SomeoneElse.
Really? Oh, so I guess that means you wouldn't want to go out sometime? How about tonight? Whatever you do, don't look eager.
[Pop.]
Not that I'm eager.
I'll check my calendar.
I'm free.
Excellent.
We'll have dinner at the seaport.
Hey! Oh.
Hey, London.
Your advice actually worked.
Duh! What advice? I got a date with Lance, the lifeguard.
Oh! So what are you going to wear? I don't know.
Jeans? Why don't you wear a sack over your head that says "loser"? Come on.
Let's go to the boutique.
[Shouting.]
Ohh! Not bad.
Not bad at all.
Check it out, crew.
All this stuff is free.
Free for our guests who spend $2,000 a day.
Do you have any hummus? Ohh.
Who ate all the finger sandwiches? Who invited ringworm? It's tapeworm.
Whatever type of worm he is, please take him and the rest of your mongrel horde upstairs and out of sight.
Come on, guys.
Let's hit the pool! Please, don't run.
O--ohh! Just the person I wanted to talk to.
Ooh.
Ooh ooh! Oh, yeah, that's it.
That's the spot.
Ooh.
Thanks, honey.
You were right.
I WAS TENSE.
Ooh! 4:00 ice cream.
Like clockwork.
Maybe you guys aren't so lame after all.
Did you hear that? We're in! We're not so lame.
We've never been so popular! Comin' through.
Ohh! Who ate all the ice cream? Too late, earthworm.
Hey, let's all go in the jacuzzi.
Guys, move over.
Make some room.
Ha! Sorry, but the kiddie pool's over there.
Ha ha ha! Great.
First no finger sandwiches and then no ice cream and now this.
They always have extra in the cabana.
All right! Better not be melted.
Hey, uh.
.
Let's ditch the dweebs.
Yep.
Cool.
You guys go ahead.
I'll wait and tell them where we're going.
Um, he's not clear on the whole "ditch" concept.
Look, we just got past lame.
Don't screw things up.
But mom says we're not supposed to give in to peer pressure.
We're not.
We're just doing what everybody else is doing.
Come on.
But it'll hurt their feelings.
No, it won't.
They're gonna laugh.
Eventually.
Hi, guys! Hey.
Where are Max and tapeworm? UhThey might not be here today.
Yo, Zack? We're out of finger sandwiches? Oh.
Whoa, Zack.
Are all these kids with you? Yeah, we're part of their posse.
Guys, I told you to bring home a couple of friends, not the entire school.
Moseby's gonna blow his top.
Fix it.
Ok, mom.
We'll take care of it.
You want to tell drew not invite any more of his friends over? No, it's ok.
You can do it.
WE PROBABLY DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING.
How many more friends could he have? Yo, yo, guys, over here! Cool! Look at this place! Wow! Cool! All right, first one to the game room gets free foosball all afternoon! [Cheering.]
Oh, my-- oh! Oh! Oh! Aah! No! Don't-- [Shouting.]
Watch the vase! Watch the ladd--oh! Look out for the vase! For crying in the-- [shouting.]
Everything is fine.
Go have a bite in the bar.
Somebody call my mother! Call my mother! Watch the vase! Don't! The vase! Woman: AAH! I am ok.
I'm fine.
Nothing happened to me.
I am ok.
You-- you saved my life.
Oh, Mr.
moseby! Thank you for saving my life, Mr.
moseby.
In my country, my life now belongs to you.
I want those kids out of here.
Anyone without a room key is on the street.
Well, since my life now belongs to you, I must obey this harsh command.
[Doorbell rings.]
So how did it go with the lifeguard? Well.
.
What's the matter? Didn't he love your outfit? Yeah, but I don't think it's going to work.
Why not? He loved your outfit.
But I didn't like him.
Didn't you like his outfit? London, it's not all about outfits.
It's about the people inside them.
Huh? He's really nice, but All he can talk about is water! Ok? Swimming in water, diving in water, splashing water, salt water versus fresh water.
After talking to him for an hour, I had to go so bad.
[Cell phone rings.]
Oh, no, it's him! Dump him.
Dump him like last month's shoes.
But I don't want to hurt him.
Oh, so you're just going to marry him and live poolside with a bunch of boring lifeguard babies? [Ring.]
You're right.
I got to end it.
Hi, Lance.
Oh, I miss you, too.
Oh, really? APPARENTLY THE pH BALANCE IN THE POOL IS PERFECT.
[Doorbell rings.]
London, how's the studying going? Fabulous.
Thanks for checking in.
Ok.
No.
Yes! Yes, I think chlorine is a Beautiful name for a girl.
Is there any teaching going on here at all? Oh, of course.
I'm TEACHING MADDIE VALUABLE LIFE SKILLS.
But she is supposed to be tutoring you.
Your father said if you flunk out again, he is sending you to parochial school.
You mean like where maddie goes? I'd have to wear [Gasps.]
A uniform? Mm-hmm.
I can't believe I made another date with him.
I can't believe I might have to wear plaid! Teach me to be mean.
Teach me to be smart.
Help me! Help me! Good turnout.
All the "a" list kids are here.
Yeah, but do any of them even know your name? Yeah.
Hey, Jack! Gimme a quarter.
See? Off by one letter.
Psst! Zack, Cody.
I need to speak with you.
What's up, Esteban? I've been given a terrible task.
I have been ordered to rid the premises of children by Mr.
moseby.
Now, I could disobey him, but Mr.
moseby reminds me of my father, who was also strict, demanding, ruthless and mean.
Oh, I miss my papa so much.
It's ok.
I need a moment.
We can't ask them to leave.
They're our friends.
Hey, Zeke! This stupid machine keeps stealing all my quarters! I THINK YOUR FRIEND IS TALKING TO YOU, Zeke.
You're right.
We got to get rid of them.
But how? I know! Hey! Free foot-long grinders at the Saint mark hotel across the street! [All yelling.]
Excellent.
I'll clean out the lobby and you get the rooftop.
Break! Break! [Whistling.]
Hey.
So for our date, I was thinking we'd take a quick swim, HIT THE JACUZZI, THEN WATCH SEABISCUIT.
YOU DO KNOW IT'S ABOUT A HORSE? A sea horse? Lance, we need to talk.
See, I think you're a really great guy and Don't beat around the bush.
The point is [Pop.]
Life is like an ocean.
It ebbs and flows Dump him now! Don't make me come out of this bubble.
Would you be quiet? [Pop.]
Who are you talking to? No one.
[Sighs.]
Look, Lance Life is like a river.
Actually I prefer pools.
Ok, that does it.
This isn't working.
I can't go out with someone who only talks about water.
You're the one that's talking about water.
Sheesh! Eee! Good news! Me, too.
Me first.
I got a d+ in math.
That's good news? Yeah.
Thanks to you, I passed.
My daddy got me a plasma tv.
Wow! When I get an a+, all I get is an extra slice of pie.
IS THAT YOUR GOOD NEWS? No.
No, no.
I took your advice and broke up with Lance.
I was blunt, I was direct, and if I say so myself, I was pretty darn mean.
So I learned something from you and you learned something from me.
Yeah.
And now you have a plasma tv and I don't have a boyfriend.
So? Everybody's happy.
Eee! Go, go, go.
Hey, guys, you need to leave.
Eeyuu! Gross! Aah! Don't ask.
How we doing? I got rid of everybody downstairs.
Except for one kid that was crying and begging to stay.
Turns out his parents are actually guests here.
Drew.
Drew! Listen, drew! Drew, we need to talk to you.
What? T-take it away, Zack.
See, the thing is, is we kinda need you to leave.
We're in the middle of a game.
No! That doesn't work for us.
You need to leave.
Tell him why, Zack.
Man, you guys need to chill, 'cause if we leave, we're not coming back.
Then you'll have to hang out with those His name's tapeworm and he's our friend! And so is the other dweeb.
Yeah, and they liked us even before they knew we had this cool place and dainty finger sandwiches.
That's right! And then you made us ditch them.
So you know what? Now we're ditching you.
Give me back the ball.
Fine.
Here.
Ha! Ah, Ms.
Martin, I want you to know I had to use hotel staff to round up the rabble your children unleashed on this hotel.
Mr.
moseby, every little problem with you is like the sky is falling, the sky is falling.
[Crash.]
Woman: AAH! AAH! Aah! Sometimes chicken little knows what he's talkin' about.
I can't believe we broke the hotel.
[Both groaning.]
[Grunting.]
Ugnh! Ugnh! Looks like you guys could use some help.
What are you guys doing here? Well, we came here to tell you off.
But lucky for you, we overheard you guys defending us dweebs.
Sorry we ditched ya.
So we're friends again? We'll have to think about it.
Whoa! [Crash.]
Well, could you think fast? 'Cause I think I just caught a bus.
Ok.
What have you done?! Mom! Mom! I am surprised at you 2 and you 2, too! They didn't do it.
They were the only 2 that stayed to help.
Guys? Hello? Come on! It wasn't us.
It was that kid drew.
I told you he was no good.
YouSaidNothing! I don't care who did it.
Pull! It's still your responsibility.
Pull! When I told you this hotel is your home, I meant you should treat it with respect.
Pull! Sorry.
I guess I messed up.
That's right.
He messed up.
Pull! Ooh! 4:00 ice cream.
Guys, guys! Aw, come on, help! Oh, man, I picked the wrong day to wear heels.
You know, moseby, you run a nice place around here.
Thanks, son.
I'm a girl.
Mm-hmm.
Cody: THIS IS THE WORST PUNISHMENT WE EVER GOT! I think we scrubbed every single tile.
I can't uncurl my fingers.
Hey, Max! Max, I finally learned that move.
[Hip-hop playing.]
I don't know her.
Neither do I.

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