The Suite Life of Zack & Cody s03e09 Episode Script

Lip Synchin' in the Rain

[Elevator dings.]
Fill this with candy.
Maddie asked me to send it to her.
She's spending a semester with her aunt arctica.
Antarctica is not a person It's a continent.
You mean like ketchup and mustard? Yeah, that's it.
London? I have news pertaining to your school.
You will no longer be attending classes at our lady of perpetual sorrow.
[Gasps.]
I graduated?! Oh, yay, me! No, no-- woot.
It must be part of the "no heiress left behind" program.
No, you haven't graduated.
You've been expelled.
Oh, what could I have done wrong? I hardly ever showed up.
Nevertheless, since you've been kicked out of every private school in Boston, you will now be attending Chivers high.
[Gasps.]
But that's a pu Pu Public school.
I can't go there.
Public schools are filled with scary, creepy, hideously dressed kids.
Hey! I'm goin' to chivers.
Ugh, exactly my point.
Thanks for backing me up.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
Temper, temper! Isn't fighting what got you kicked out of your last school? Hey, the lunch lady was askin' for it Out of matzah ball soup.
Nevertheless, when I agreed to let you stay here for the school year, you promised me you wouldn't get into any fights.
And I won't as long as I get my matzah ball soup.
[Whimpers.]
What am I going to do in public school? I'll tell you what not to do.
Don'tBe you.
The whole rich girl, snooty thing is not going to fly.
Gotcha, I'll keep it real.
Don't do that.
Right on.
Here I am in your life here you are in mine yes, we have a suite life most of the time you and me, we got the world to see so come on down just me and you know what to do so come on down it's you and me and me and you we got the whole place to ourselves you and me, we got it all for free so come on down this is the suite life we've got a suite life Wow, a guy could get whiplash around here.
Look at that one over there.
I know! All these flyers for extra curriculars.
Chess club, robot club, ooh! Robots who play chess club.
[Robot voice.]
Checkmate.
[Robot voice.]
You're a dork.
No offense.
You know, just 'cause you say "no offense" doesn't excuse the offensive remark that inevitably follows.
Well, in that case, you're a dork.
Offense intended.
Hey, Bob! Isn't high school great? Yeah, I got an upper locker and it's across from the girls' bathroom.
Ooh! Listen, we should all plan to sit together at lunch.
That way we'll have our own group.
Sorry, I'm gonna sit next to her.
[Laughing.]
I picked a good day to wear deodorant.
Girl: Later, Amber.
Hi.
Bye.
And the trap is set.
Well, I guess it's just you and me, Bob.
Sorry, dude.
Now that I'm in high school I've decided to re-invent myself.
I'm going to be a jock.
[Laughing.]
Oh, you were serious.
Nia! [Gasps.]
This place is horrible.
I had to wait 20 minutes for the parking valet.
The school doesn't have valet parking.
Then who did I give my car to? Oh, well.
It was almost out of gas, anyway.
Hey, look at this locker.
It is way too small.
How much room do you need? It's not like you read books.
See? I need a walk-in locker.
What did I tell you about being all princessy? No one is going to be your friend if you continue to act this way.
Excuse me, would you be my friend? No.
Here's 100 bucks.
You want to go to the mall? Hi, my name is Ellen.
[Indistinct chatter.]
Told you I'd be popular.
You, walk with me in the hallway.
You, listen to me like you care.
[Gasps.]
Good! Oh, and you, carry my books.
Uh I'm the principal.
Good, then you know where all the classrooms are.
Young lady, I have no intention of-- oh, well.
That goes right into the school fund.
[Bell rings.]
Ah, Amber.
It seems we have biology class together.
This is chemistry.
You feel it, too? Ok, I admit, you are incredibly cute, but you're a freshman and I'm a sophomore.
I heard nothing after "you are incredibly cute.
" Zack, I'm way too old for you.
Oh, age is but a number.
Speakin' of numbers, can I have yours? That is adorable.
Kids.
Not until after we're married.
[Giggles.]
Ahem.
Excuse me, would you mind not sitting so close? I don't want to get your nerdness on my jockness.
No offense.
And yet, I'm offended.
I'm sorry.
Ah, pfft, nerd.
[Laughs.]
[Exhaling loudly.]
Hey, Cody? Can you help me be a nerd? We prefer educationally gifted.
Whatever.
I've decided to go another way in high school.
This whole bad boy cool thing is getting old.
It's not as easy as you think.
Do you have any allergies? Any irrational fears? I have fear of allergies.
Histaminophobia.
Welcome aboard, chief! Ok, I want you to take out these walls, move everything-- those lockers belong to other students.
Not anymore, I bought them.
The corner locker was extra but it was worth it.
[Indistinct chatter.]
Look, let me explain something to you about high school.
It's a dog-eat-dog world and I can't be seen with a little puppy.
Uh, don't be fooled.
Behind this puppy-dog face, deep down inside, I'm a wolf.
[Howls.]
Hey, why is your arm around my girlfriend? Is this your girlfriend? And is that my arm? I'm sorry, man.
I really didn't know.
I tell you what, I'm going to have a man-to-arm talk.
What were you thinkin'? Here's some place you two can talk.
Privately.
[Laughing.]
Hey, what are you doin' pickin' on some little kid? [Grunts.]
Looks like somebody's got a little junk in their trunk why don't you pick on someone your own size? Like who? Like me.
[Whimpering.]
See? Now we're about the same height.
Ow, ow.
What do you think, blue or yellow? I'm sorry, let me give you a hand.
[Girl screams.]
Ooh.
Definitely blue! [Snapping.]
That'll teach you not to mess with Zack and nia! Yeah! Yeah! All right, come on.
Give it to me.
Ha ha! [Giggling.]
[Groans.]
Ahh, that was fun.
What do you say we high five all the way down to my office? This is terrible.
Uncle Marion's gonna send me back to live with my mom.
Can I come with you? Because after this, I won't be able to live with mine.
No, London.
Let me go to your science class for you? Thanks, but you don't look like me.
Lenny liu is going.
But he's a guy.
I paid him extra to wear a dress.
I can't believe the princess is having a perfect first day.
This stinks.
That could be the garbage in my underpants.
[Sighs.]
Cody? You got sent to the principal's office? Not sent, invited.
She likes to meet all of her honor students.
It's the first day of school.
I did some work over the summer.
I hate you.
I know.
Cody Martin? Oh, it is an honor to meet you, young man.
I've heard great things about you.
Likewise.
And I hear you're into ornithology.
You're a fellow birdwatcher? Do hummingbirds consume their body weight in nectar every 12 hours? [Both laughing.]
[No audio.]
Hey, you know, this Saturday a group of the Boston birdie buddies are going to lake waban in search of the blue-footed booby.
That's on my list! Would you mind if I tagged along? I'll bring the peanut butter sandwiches.
Oh, smooth, of course, because-- both: Crunchy would scare the birds! [Both laughing.]
Both: Ahh.
Oh, brother.
Don't remind me.
See ya this Saturday.
Birdie buddy.
Birdie buddy.
Both: Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.
Ca-caw! Ca-caw! Principal militich? Yes? Hi, Marion moseby.
I would just like to apologize for my niece's behavior.
Uncle Marion, I--I can explain.
All right, go ahead.
WellYou--vance made me mad.
Uh-ho, well then.
But, no, see, what had happened-- hey, Mr.
moseby.
Fancy meetin' you here.
You? Not so fancy.
Wow, I'm here before lunch on the first day.
I think that's a record.
And you are? I'm sorry, I'm Carey Martin.
I'm Cody's mom.
Oh, well I called you about Zack.
I know, I just like people to know I'm battin' 500.
Mom, it wasn't my fault.
Yeah, it was vance's fault.
Well, where is he? He is in the nurse's office getting your paint job removed.
[Gasps.]
You painted a boy? She was defending me.
Uh-ho, so it all goes back to you.
Why am I not surprised? I don't believe we're here because Zack was in a fight.
Oh, no.
He just started the fight.
Oh, if you want to talk about starting-- that's the only reason-- all right, people! Cut it out, or I will give you detention.
He started it.
She started it.
Mom, if you need any help, just give us a call.
Yeah, we'll be in class.
Ok, nice try.
My office.
I don't care if we're on the first floor.
I want my locker to have a skylight.
Hey, buddy.
Ooh, it's my good friend What's your name again? Ellen.
I'm the one who listens to your problems and pretends to care.
Oh, thank goodness you're here.
For starters, these people don't know beige from cream.
[Gasps.]
That is terrible.
What is wrong with you? How could you put this poor girl through this kind of torture? No, we don't offer taxidermy as an elective.
Now please-- what the--?! I know it's hideous.
But it'll look a lot better when I put the marble in.
London, what are you doing? You can't just demolish other people's lockers.
Yes, I can.
My friends said I could have them.
Right? We don't even know you.
Well, sure you do.
Oh, yeah? What's my name? Um UhDon't tell me.
Uh, ooh! It starts with an "l"! Ellen.
See? I was right.
"L", "n".
[Giggles.]
London? Hmm? After class, my office.
Ohh, no can do.
No? I'm waiting for the cable guy.
They say between 1:00 and Ok, I'm sorry.
How silly of me.
Tell you what.
You bring the cable guy and I will give him detention, too.
Well, you know, I gotta tell you, I prefer being a nerd.
It's a lot more satisfying hitting the books instead of hitting someone right in the kisser.
Mark, how many fights have you actually been in? Well, at least--none.
But that's because you're only supposed to use your martial arts for self-defense.
That's according to my sensei, Barry weinstock.
You take classes at the tae Kwon deli? No one chops liver like Barry! Uh-uh-uh.
[No audio.]
Bob, we've been friends for years.
Yeah, well, that was before I was a jock.
You're not a jock.
You get winded when we play video games.
Shh! Hey, big, bad Bob.
Is this nerd bothering you? Wait, didn't I already throw you in the trash? That was my brother.
By the way, kudos.
What did you call me? No, uh, kudos is a word meaning "congratulations" from the Greek kydos meaning "praise" or "renowned.
" Shut up.
From the jock, meaning I'm going to break your face.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy, vance.
Ok, yeah, he may be a nerd but I used to hang with him.
That makes you a nerd.
Oh, well, nerd adjacent.
I don't know what you just said but I think you just insulted me.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
No, I didn't.
[Grunts.]
What are youDoing? Don't worry, Cody.
I'll take him out with my tae Kwon do! Oh, right after I stretch.
Couldn't you just skip that part, mark? Oh, no.
Sensei weinstock has 2 rules, always stretch and never salt your soup before you taste it.
Get off of me.
Unh.
I can't hit you from here.
Ok.
Bob, help me.
Hey, hey.
What's going on? Zack Martin, what did I tell you? Cody? Oh, hi, Ms.
militich.
You know, I just saw a white-breasted nuthatch out the window and, uh, I wanted to get a better view.
Yeah, how's this little buddy? Perfect, big buddy.
That is so sweet.
Well, why don't you 2 buddies piggy-back it all the way down to my office.
Hey, Zack.
I'm sorry you got thrown into the trash on account of me.
Look, I can't be seen talking with you.
Vance is still out there, and I still have pudding in my socks.
Zack! You don't have to worry about vance anymore.
I broke up with him when I realized what a jerk he is.
Oh, well, you know what they say.
When one door closes another one opens.
Honey, I'm home.
Don't you see that we could never be? I'm calculus and you're pre-calculus.
Why bring science into this? It's math, and we just don't add up.
Ok, ok.
How about this? When I'm a sophomore, then we could date.
If you knew your math you'd know that that's just one year later, and I'll be a junior.
Ok, then.
There's only 2 solutions.
Either I've got to skip a grade or you've got to fail.
I'm a straight "a" student.
Hey, I'm a straight "d" student.
Maybe you could tutor me sometime.
Something tells me you're not really interested in studying.
Uh, that's not true.
As a matter of fact, you're my favorite subject.
So, how about Saturday? Ok, but we're just going to do school work.
Of course, of course.
And the trap snapped shut.
You know I've never been in the principal's office without getting a certificate suitable for framing.
Yeah, public school stinks.
Mm-hmm.
The only bright spot in my day is that nia's miserable, too.
We just think you're great, nia! Oh, yeah.
It's about time someone stood up to vance.
And I just know we're going to be the best of friends.
Oh, thanks, Ellen! [Gasps.]
I just realized that if you buy your friends, they're not going to really like you for who you are.
Really? Congratulations, London.
You learned something on your first day of school.
Yay, smart me! Ohh, Cody, Cody Martin.
I am so disappointed in you.
Please don't put this on my permanent record.
I'll never get in to a good law school Or medical school Or the NASA program.
I wanted to be the first doctor lawyer in space.
[Crying.]
I just want to buy things.
Cody, please tell me you're accepting an award and that's why I was called down here.
No, I got in a fight.
You mean like a spirited debate? No, like a real fight.
Oh, no.
Tell me this isn't going to affect his whole doctor-lawyer in space thing.
No, but he will get a day of detention.
[Whimpering.]
Which If you behave yourself Will not end up on your permanent record.
Thank you, thank you! You're a testament to fairness And sensible footwear.
Oh, no.
It's the least I could do for a fellow birder.
Ca-ca-ca-ca-caw! Ca-ca-ca-ca-caw! Carey? You're here again? Should've just carpooled.
We'll work out a schedule later.
What happened? Well, Ms.
la-de-da did not attend any of her classes.
No, she was too busy knocking down lockers to build her own personal lounge.
Well, I was going to invite you once I got the Sushi bar in.
Oh, please.
Do not tell me about-- Sushi bar? You should have seen what the cafeteria was serving for lunch.
Mashed potatoes and macaroni.
Shame on you! Oh, excusez-moi.
Next time I'll have le chef to defrost something more appetizing.
That's all I ask.
Principal militich, I'm sorry.
I am certain that Cody will never have detention again.
I make no promises about Zack.
You'll be seeing plenty of him.
Hey, you're 2 for 2 today, too, toots.
Hey, watch the toots.
I didn't come-- at least I've had-- you is not-- since they were-- [whistle blowing.]
All right, I have had enough of you two.
Now, sit.
[Both talking at once.]
Shush! Quiet! Way to start-- how many times-- really proud-- nothing but trouble-- shush it! Hey, nia? Don't make me paint you again.
I just want to say I'm sorry.
I don't want to be a jerk anymore.
Well, what do you want to be? Your boyfriend.
Say what? The way you stood up to me was awesome.
AndI think you're really cute.
[Giggles.]
Oh, thanks.
So, this is detention.
Serves me right.
I took a dark path which led to anger and violence.
I'm ashamed.
Yeah, you jumped on a guy's back.
Quick, call a cop! Mark, what are you even doing here? I didn't have anything better to do.
I do.
I should be out buying cologne for my study date with Amber this Saturday.
I thought she was unattainable.
I tained her.
High school is a roller coaster.
Sure, it has it's ups and downs, but now we're all together in one place Detention.
You, me, nia, and London.
Yay, me! I see you came prepared.
Oh, yeah.
I never come to detention without bringing something to do.
Last year, thanks to Zack, I knitted 32 sweaters and an Afghan.
This year, I'm rhine-stoning.
You know, may I try it? Oh, yeah, sure.
Do you push your-- just right on the thing.
Or do you have to--oh! Both: Sorry, Ms.
militich.
I will see you two tomorrow.
[Both laughing.]
It went boop! Shush! [Yells.]

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