The Suite Life on Deck (2008) s02e09 Episode Script
Roomies
( Theme music playing ) I'm ready for "tie-land"! So if we were in Poland, you'd be carrying a 10' pole? Yup! I'm so excited to finally meet my grandmother.
And I'm so honored that you feel close enough to invite me to your - ( Groans ) - Yeah, don't let those touch the ground.
- Okay.
- Now I want to make a good impression on my grandmother so try not to humiliate me with your boring farm talk.
- Hey! - Yeah, like that.
I just know my grandmother and I are going to be b.
F.
F.
W.
A.
O.
P.
S.
"Best friends forever with an old person.
" Can we g.
I.
T.
C.
B.
M.
A.
F.
O.
? "Get in the cab before my arms fall off.
" Oh ay oh, oh ay oh come along with me and let's head out to see what this world has for you and for me now whichever way the wind blows - we say - hey-ho, let's go! - oh ay oh - this boat's rocking - oh ay oh - ain't no stopping us now 'cause we're living the suite life - oh ay oh - this boat's rocking - oh ay oh - rocking the whole world round and we're living the suite life now hey ho! Oh ay oh let's go! ( Traditional thai music playing ) London: I don't see any mansions around here.
Are you sure you're reading the map right? I'm pretty sure.
Then again, not much oxygen is getting to my head right now.
Oh! Excuse me, commoner.
I am looking for the thapthimthong estate.
London? I'm your khun yai! Bailey, why is this person wrinkling my tie? "Khun yai" means grandmother.
This is your grammy! ( Screams ) Khun yai! I've been looking forward to this for many many years.
You look just like your mother.
So beautiful.
Thank you.
And I'm sure you are too, under that bamboo satellite dish.
Ahem.
I'm London's friend Bailey.
- Sawat-dii ka.
- Sawat-dii ka.
I'm so happy to have you here in my home.
Uh Don't you mean servants' quarters? No, this is where I live.
This is my rice farm.
- Say what?! - Terraced fields, a rotary huller ( Gasps ) Reverse gravitational irrigation system? No way! That's been on my Christmas list for, like, ever.
London, isn't this wonderful? You come from farm stock just like me! ( Screams ) She always does that when she's happy.
Hi, Bailey, it's me-- Cody.
This is my "missing you" diary-- day one, hour one.
I miss you! A lot.
Bailey, you're dating a loser.
Zack! Now I'm going to have to rewind and reshoot that.
Oh, then I did you a favor.
Oh, hey, babe at 10:00.
Get lost, gossip girl.
Hell-ooo.
Uh, the strawberry-banana swirl is out of this world.
And so am I.
- So you're an alien? - Yes.
Take me to your leader.
Or I'll take you on a date, your call.
- ( Laughs ) - Hey, Sasha.
Oh, hi, I'm hilary.
Some people call me hil or lary, but I prefer hilary.
Right.
So, Sasha, where are you from? - Chicago.
- We both are.
Well, technically she's from highland park, I'm from oak park.
So, highland park, is that far from wrigley field? Well, that all depends on traffic, but see, if you jump on the el and then you take a left, - and then you take a right-- - would you excuse me for just one second? I miss you more than the particle beams missed each other at the large hadron collider since its superconducting magnets were damaged in September, 2008.
Lame! - I need your help with a girl.
- ( Groans ) I'm not going to help you impress another girl with an important call from your Navy seal commander.
( Laughs ) No, I like to keep that one in reserve.
No, I need you to occupy chatty Cathy over there, while I work the Zack magic on her friend.
( Scoffs ) Well, I can't talk to a girl.
I'm with Bailey.
- Say "hi" to Bailey.
- You don't even need to talk.
Besides, with this girl, you won't get a word in edgewise.
Hilary, Cody; Cody, hilary.
- Hi! - Hi.
Wow, sparks! All right, Sasha, let's give these two lovebirds some space.
Cody, what's with the camera? Are you a director or something? Well, actually, I'm making a video about how much I miss Bailey.
- She's my girl-- - dog! Girl dog.
She's at obedience school right now-- learning to do what people ask her to do.
London, wake up.
( Sniffs, pants ) I just had the worst nightmare.
My grandmother was a farmer and lived in a hu-- uuuuut! It's a dream inside a dream! Oh, London, I'm so glad you feel better.
I brought you a snack.
I made some jing leed.
Mmm, not bad.
- Tastes like French fries.
- Yeah, they're delicious.
That's because they are fresh.
I caught them this morning.
Caught? - What am I eating? - Crickets.
- Chirp chirp.
- ( Coughing ) - More? - No, I'm good.
I had a millipede for breakfast, so I'm-- - ( trumpets ) - Oh, thank you.
( Shrieks ) - Snake! - Silly, that's my elephant.
( Shrieks ) Elephant! What a well-trained pet! - What's his name? - Mae baan.
Oh, that's pretty.
What does it mean? "Cleaning lady" and a lazy one at that.
Hmm, cleaning lady? Maybe we are related.
Well, I have a lot of fun things planned for your visit.
Starting with planting rice! Fun! The only planting I do is my butt on the couch.
Look, I do not do farm work.
Or any kind of work.
London, working alongside your grandmother will give you a chance to connect with her.
And me a chance to check out that sweet rotary huller.
- Hey, Sasha.
- Oh, hey, Zack.
Hey, tonight I'm working but I wanted to know if tomorrow you'd like to go to dinner? - They're serving thai food at the buffet.
- We'd love to! Will Cody be there too? He will now.
Bailey, I've missed you so much, I folded a towel in your image.
- It took me six hours.
- Dude! Oh, man, he's drying his back hair with Bailey.
Sorry, sweetie.
Dude! I'm the man.
I just scored us a double date with Sasha and hilary.
( Huffs ) You know, you can only tape over these things so many times before it affects the resolution.
- I'm not going on your date.
- All right.
I didn't want to have to play this card, but-- you cannot say no to being a wingman.
It's in the guy rulebook.
- There's no guy rulebook.
- Ha! But there is.
It's called the guyble.
- Nice try.
- Don't make me call the guythorities.
- Still don't believe you.
- You should read my favorite chapter-- "dude-eronomy.
" ( Sighs ) What a day.
Isn't this fun? No! It's the worst day of my life.
- And my boot is stuck.
- Here, let me take this.
- ( Screams ) - ( Splats ) I'm covered in mud! ( Crying ) You go to the spa for mud-baths all the time, right? - What's the difference? - This mud is dirty! ( Sobbing ) London, no sitting down on the job.
Although it's been 16 hours, so we should break for lunch.
Bailey, you plant faster than my water buffalo.
Oh, you're pretty amazing yourself.
I'm wet, I'm tired and I think something's eating my foot! You know, you remind me a lot of your mother.
She had trouble with her a-b-ds too? No, she complained all the time too.
- Now go wash up.
- Where's the bathroom? - But I don't see a faucet anywhere.
- ( Trumpets ) ( Sputters ) Ew, the elephant sneezed on me! - I can't take this anymore.
- Are you kidding? That elephant's amazing.
I wish we had water pressure like this on the farm.
Right there, right there.
There we go.
Good boy.
"Missing you" diary, day two, hour three, minute 19.
And still miss ing You! Wow.
This is even more riveting than mom's video of you being potty trained.
What are you doing here? And it better not be about that date! No no no.
Forget the date.
I realized how important this lame video thing is to you and I want to help you with it.
That's great.
Get out of my room.
Okay okay okay.
But I think Bailey might appreciate it if you dressed up a bit.
Girls like that kind of stuff.
- What are you doing?! - Let's fix that hair.
- Pop that zit.
- No! You see, you Look amazing.
Ah, I do look pretty good.
You know what? I'm sorry I doubted you.
You really are a great brother.
- I do what I can.
- ( Knocks ) Who could that be? Beats me! Hey, guys, we're here for our date.
- Wow, Cody, you look amazing! - That's exactly what I said.
And what a complexion-- except for that one pesky blackhead.
All right, let's go.
Let's go have some fun.
Easy! You're not scrubbing a pot.
- Oh, just blow it out.
- ( Trumpets ) Thank you, mae baan.
And here's your tip-- one peanut.
Hey, London, khun yai and I are going down to the river to do some laundry.
- Come on or all the good rocks will be gone.
- I'm not going.
And stop trying to steal my grandmother! London, I'm not trying to steal your grammy.
- You're pushing her away.
- Well, all she ever wants to do is play in the dirt.
Maybe if you quit turning your nose up at everything, you'd find something in common with her.
Mae baan, step on Bailey! - ( Trumpets ) - Okay okay.
Oooh, idea! Mae baan, write this down.
( Trumpets ) Yeah, you're right-- you'll remember it.
Okay Oooh, surprise! What did you do? Well, let's just call it an extreme hut makeover.
Now you can live like me, khun yai! London, this is very fancy.
But I feel out of place.
Oh, not for long! I brought in a team of stylists to give you a makeover.
- Make over? - Yes! London: Come on, you guys.
Just want to tweak your look a teensy little bit.
I don't want to recognize her when you're done.
( Squeals ) I love eating with chopsticks.
I could use them all the time.
Me too! Well, as much fun as this has been, I have a ton of calculus homework to finish.
I love calculus! What are we talking? Integrals, derivatives? Projective algebraic manifolds.
You wouldn't understand.
Like the riemann sphere? Totally my favorite sphere.
I am captain of the oak park mathletes.
( Squeaks ) Go badgers! On second thought, I can do it before class.
- Okay.
- Yeah-hhh.
You know, I got some math homework too.
Maybe you can come to my cabin and Tutor me? Something tells me you already know too much.
Besides, I have to go to the ladies' room.
- Want to come? - Sure, I can study anywhere.
- I meant hilary.
- Okay.
Be right back, Cody.
Don't miss me too much.
Don't worry! ( Fake laughter ) That's it! Your wingman is bailing out.
Apologize to hilary and never speak to me again.
Uh uh uh uh uh! I wouldn't leave if I were you.
Well, that is, of course, if you want me to tell Bailey about your little date.
You wouldn't! I think we both know I would.
I think my grandmother's really happy about her makeover, don't you? Khun yai, you look amazing.
I look ridiculous! Too much bling.
If I wear all this in the rice paddies, I will sink to my waist in mud.
Well, that's why I got you this brand-new washer and dryer! And if you don't feel like wasting your time in the rice paddies, you can use this.
Insta-rice-- comes in a box and cooks in under a minute.
Goes through you in under a minute too.
But-- but you like the tv, right? It's like magic moving pictures.
I know about the tv.
I got rid of mine because I was wasting so much time watching "thai idol.
" I still cannot believe they voted off bantika.
Khun yai, how can you not want any of this? Can't you see how much better it'll make your life? My life is wonderful the way it is.
You eat crickets.
Crickets are very healthy.
Unless you eat the wrong one.
Then you die instantly.
- But, khun yai-- - please! Just take it away! This stuff was expensive.
Expensive doesn't always mean better.
Oh, please.
That's just something poor people tell themselves so they're not sad all the time.
No, money doesn't buy happiness.
Oh-- there's another one.
Look, farming is a wonderful life.
- It brings you closer to nature.
- I hate nature! Why can't it be indoors? Okay, my point is until you learn to accept your grandmother's way of life, you'll never connect with her.
Mmm, it's a little chilly out here, don't you think? I'm a little chilly too.
Brrr.
Maybe you should put your arm around me.
( Exhales ) Well, actually, the proper way to fight hypothermia is to not-- okay.
Looks like you've got a little something on your lip.
How embarrassing.
I'll go get a napkin.
Allow me.
Okay, stop! I can't do this anymore.
Do what? We haven't done anything yet.
- I have a boyfriend.
- I'm okay with that.
- I have a girlfriend.
- Cody, you like me too!? Not you-- Bailey.
You're dating your dog? She's not my dog.
She's my human girlfriend.
Then why is she at obedience school? Okay, you're not getting this.
Zack, the truth is I only went out with you so hilary could spend time with Cody.
W-- wait a minute! You're her wingman - and I'm the pathetic friend? - Hilary made me do it.
- She said it's in some rulebook.
- The girble! Look, I'm sorry, hilary.
You're a great girl, but I'm in love.
But not with me, right? Oy.
So that video you're making is for your girlfriend? - Yeah.
- I'm doing the same thing for my boyfriend.
Isn't being in love great? Oh, the best! This one Valentine's day So I guess this was just a big waste of time.
It doesn't have to be.
I mean, I prefer Cody, but-- I've settled before.
I'm not anybody's second! Eh, what the heck.
London? Are you working? Yes.
But please don't tell anyone.
This is my way of saying samong dong.
Huh? You have a pickle brain? No.
I'm just trying to say I'm sorry.
Look! I even pulled out these nasty weeds.
That's the rice.
I can't do anything right.
No wonder you wish Bailey was your granddaughter and not me.
What? Are you crazy? - I love you.
- You do? Of course.
Just the way you are.
I don't want to change you.
And, please, don't try to change me.
My eyebrows still hurt from all that plucking.
Sorry.
And sorry I messed up your rice.
That's okay.
Your mother wasn't meant for farming either.
That's why she left.
Well, don't take it personally, but she doesn't like to hang around anywhere very long.
But thanks to her, now I have you.
And I'll always be here for you, khun yai.
I mean, not here here, because here's, you know, ugh.
But maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle? You know, like a three-star hotel.
- Deal.
- Deal.
So I guess I'll take all the stuff out of here.
Maybe you can leave the high heels? They are good for planting seeds, plus-- they make my legs look hot.
- ( Laughing ) - ( Trumpets ) Oh, fine.
I'll get you a pair too.
But nothing is going to help those cankles.
( Trumpets ) - Cody, I'm home.
- Bailey! - Oh, I missed you so much.
- I missed you too.
- I brought you something.
- Oooh, heavy.
- What could it be? - I wrapped it.
A rock? A-- a rock! - Wow.
- It's from the chao phraya river.
Now you can stop complaining about the ship's laundry and wash your clothes in the sink! Oooh, a laundry rock.
There's even a smooth side for delicates.
- Thanks, Bailey.
- You're welcome.
Oh, I have something for you too.
I was working on it the whole time you were gone.
- Oooh.
- Okay.
Press play.
( Clears throat ) Cody? Why am I watching a video of you being potty trained? ( Stammers ) That's the wrong tape! Zack! O-o-- okay, gimme that back.
- Gimme that back.
- But it's so cute!
And I'm so honored that you feel close enough to invite me to your - ( Groans ) - Yeah, don't let those touch the ground.
- Okay.
- Now I want to make a good impression on my grandmother so try not to humiliate me with your boring farm talk.
- Hey! - Yeah, like that.
I just know my grandmother and I are going to be b.
F.
F.
W.
A.
O.
P.
S.
"Best friends forever with an old person.
" Can we g.
I.
T.
C.
B.
M.
A.
F.
O.
? "Get in the cab before my arms fall off.
" Oh ay oh, oh ay oh come along with me and let's head out to see what this world has for you and for me now whichever way the wind blows - we say - hey-ho, let's go! - oh ay oh - this boat's rocking - oh ay oh - ain't no stopping us now 'cause we're living the suite life - oh ay oh - this boat's rocking - oh ay oh - rocking the whole world round and we're living the suite life now hey ho! Oh ay oh let's go! ( Traditional thai music playing ) London: I don't see any mansions around here.
Are you sure you're reading the map right? I'm pretty sure.
Then again, not much oxygen is getting to my head right now.
Oh! Excuse me, commoner.
I am looking for the thapthimthong estate.
London? I'm your khun yai! Bailey, why is this person wrinkling my tie? "Khun yai" means grandmother.
This is your grammy! ( Screams ) Khun yai! I've been looking forward to this for many many years.
You look just like your mother.
So beautiful.
Thank you.
And I'm sure you are too, under that bamboo satellite dish.
Ahem.
I'm London's friend Bailey.
- Sawat-dii ka.
- Sawat-dii ka.
I'm so happy to have you here in my home.
Uh Don't you mean servants' quarters? No, this is where I live.
This is my rice farm.
- Say what?! - Terraced fields, a rotary huller ( Gasps ) Reverse gravitational irrigation system? No way! That's been on my Christmas list for, like, ever.
London, isn't this wonderful? You come from farm stock just like me! ( Screams ) She always does that when she's happy.
Hi, Bailey, it's me-- Cody.
This is my "missing you" diary-- day one, hour one.
I miss you! A lot.
Bailey, you're dating a loser.
Zack! Now I'm going to have to rewind and reshoot that.
Oh, then I did you a favor.
Oh, hey, babe at 10:00.
Get lost, gossip girl.
Hell-ooo.
Uh, the strawberry-banana swirl is out of this world.
And so am I.
- So you're an alien? - Yes.
Take me to your leader.
Or I'll take you on a date, your call.
- ( Laughs ) - Hey, Sasha.
Oh, hi, I'm hilary.
Some people call me hil or lary, but I prefer hilary.
Right.
So, Sasha, where are you from? - Chicago.
- We both are.
Well, technically she's from highland park, I'm from oak park.
So, highland park, is that far from wrigley field? Well, that all depends on traffic, but see, if you jump on the el and then you take a left, - and then you take a right-- - would you excuse me for just one second? I miss you more than the particle beams missed each other at the large hadron collider since its superconducting magnets were damaged in September, 2008.
Lame! - I need your help with a girl.
- ( Groans ) I'm not going to help you impress another girl with an important call from your Navy seal commander.
( Laughs ) No, I like to keep that one in reserve.
No, I need you to occupy chatty Cathy over there, while I work the Zack magic on her friend.
( Scoffs ) Well, I can't talk to a girl.
I'm with Bailey.
- Say "hi" to Bailey.
- You don't even need to talk.
Besides, with this girl, you won't get a word in edgewise.
Hilary, Cody; Cody, hilary.
- Hi! - Hi.
Wow, sparks! All right, Sasha, let's give these two lovebirds some space.
Cody, what's with the camera? Are you a director or something? Well, actually, I'm making a video about how much I miss Bailey.
- She's my girl-- - dog! Girl dog.
She's at obedience school right now-- learning to do what people ask her to do.
London, wake up.
( Sniffs, pants ) I just had the worst nightmare.
My grandmother was a farmer and lived in a hu-- uuuuut! It's a dream inside a dream! Oh, London, I'm so glad you feel better.
I brought you a snack.
I made some jing leed.
Mmm, not bad.
- Tastes like French fries.
- Yeah, they're delicious.
That's because they are fresh.
I caught them this morning.
Caught? - What am I eating? - Crickets.
- Chirp chirp.
- ( Coughing ) - More? - No, I'm good.
I had a millipede for breakfast, so I'm-- - ( trumpets ) - Oh, thank you.
( Shrieks ) - Snake! - Silly, that's my elephant.
( Shrieks ) Elephant! What a well-trained pet! - What's his name? - Mae baan.
Oh, that's pretty.
What does it mean? "Cleaning lady" and a lazy one at that.
Hmm, cleaning lady? Maybe we are related.
Well, I have a lot of fun things planned for your visit.
Starting with planting rice! Fun! The only planting I do is my butt on the couch.
Look, I do not do farm work.
Or any kind of work.
London, working alongside your grandmother will give you a chance to connect with her.
And me a chance to check out that sweet rotary huller.
- Hey, Sasha.
- Oh, hey, Zack.
Hey, tonight I'm working but I wanted to know if tomorrow you'd like to go to dinner? - They're serving thai food at the buffet.
- We'd love to! Will Cody be there too? He will now.
Bailey, I've missed you so much, I folded a towel in your image.
- It took me six hours.
- Dude! Oh, man, he's drying his back hair with Bailey.
Sorry, sweetie.
Dude! I'm the man.
I just scored us a double date with Sasha and hilary.
( Huffs ) You know, you can only tape over these things so many times before it affects the resolution.
- I'm not going on your date.
- All right.
I didn't want to have to play this card, but-- you cannot say no to being a wingman.
It's in the guy rulebook.
- There's no guy rulebook.
- Ha! But there is.
It's called the guyble.
- Nice try.
- Don't make me call the guythorities.
- Still don't believe you.
- You should read my favorite chapter-- "dude-eronomy.
" ( Sighs ) What a day.
Isn't this fun? No! It's the worst day of my life.
- And my boot is stuck.
- Here, let me take this.
- ( Screams ) - ( Splats ) I'm covered in mud! ( Crying ) You go to the spa for mud-baths all the time, right? - What's the difference? - This mud is dirty! ( Sobbing ) London, no sitting down on the job.
Although it's been 16 hours, so we should break for lunch.
Bailey, you plant faster than my water buffalo.
Oh, you're pretty amazing yourself.
I'm wet, I'm tired and I think something's eating my foot! You know, you remind me a lot of your mother.
She had trouble with her a-b-ds too? No, she complained all the time too.
- Now go wash up.
- Where's the bathroom? - But I don't see a faucet anywhere.
- ( Trumpets ) ( Sputters ) Ew, the elephant sneezed on me! - I can't take this anymore.
- Are you kidding? That elephant's amazing.
I wish we had water pressure like this on the farm.
Right there, right there.
There we go.
Good boy.
"Missing you" diary, day two, hour three, minute 19.
And still miss ing You! Wow.
This is even more riveting than mom's video of you being potty trained.
What are you doing here? And it better not be about that date! No no no.
Forget the date.
I realized how important this lame video thing is to you and I want to help you with it.
That's great.
Get out of my room.
Okay okay okay.
But I think Bailey might appreciate it if you dressed up a bit.
Girls like that kind of stuff.
- What are you doing?! - Let's fix that hair.
- Pop that zit.
- No! You see, you Look amazing.
Ah, I do look pretty good.
You know what? I'm sorry I doubted you.
You really are a great brother.
- I do what I can.
- ( Knocks ) Who could that be? Beats me! Hey, guys, we're here for our date.
- Wow, Cody, you look amazing! - That's exactly what I said.
And what a complexion-- except for that one pesky blackhead.
All right, let's go.
Let's go have some fun.
Easy! You're not scrubbing a pot.
- Oh, just blow it out.
- ( Trumpets ) Thank you, mae baan.
And here's your tip-- one peanut.
Hey, London, khun yai and I are going down to the river to do some laundry.
- Come on or all the good rocks will be gone.
- I'm not going.
And stop trying to steal my grandmother! London, I'm not trying to steal your grammy.
- You're pushing her away.
- Well, all she ever wants to do is play in the dirt.
Maybe if you quit turning your nose up at everything, you'd find something in common with her.
Mae baan, step on Bailey! - ( Trumpets ) - Okay okay.
Oooh, idea! Mae baan, write this down.
( Trumpets ) Yeah, you're right-- you'll remember it.
Okay Oooh, surprise! What did you do? Well, let's just call it an extreme hut makeover.
Now you can live like me, khun yai! London, this is very fancy.
But I feel out of place.
Oh, not for long! I brought in a team of stylists to give you a makeover.
- Make over? - Yes! London: Come on, you guys.
Just want to tweak your look a teensy little bit.
I don't want to recognize her when you're done.
( Squeals ) I love eating with chopsticks.
I could use them all the time.
Me too! Well, as much fun as this has been, I have a ton of calculus homework to finish.
I love calculus! What are we talking? Integrals, derivatives? Projective algebraic manifolds.
You wouldn't understand.
Like the riemann sphere? Totally my favorite sphere.
I am captain of the oak park mathletes.
( Squeaks ) Go badgers! On second thought, I can do it before class.
- Okay.
- Yeah-hhh.
You know, I got some math homework too.
Maybe you can come to my cabin and Tutor me? Something tells me you already know too much.
Besides, I have to go to the ladies' room.
- Want to come? - Sure, I can study anywhere.
- I meant hilary.
- Okay.
Be right back, Cody.
Don't miss me too much.
Don't worry! ( Fake laughter ) That's it! Your wingman is bailing out.
Apologize to hilary and never speak to me again.
Uh uh uh uh uh! I wouldn't leave if I were you.
Well, that is, of course, if you want me to tell Bailey about your little date.
You wouldn't! I think we both know I would.
I think my grandmother's really happy about her makeover, don't you? Khun yai, you look amazing.
I look ridiculous! Too much bling.
If I wear all this in the rice paddies, I will sink to my waist in mud.
Well, that's why I got you this brand-new washer and dryer! And if you don't feel like wasting your time in the rice paddies, you can use this.
Insta-rice-- comes in a box and cooks in under a minute.
Goes through you in under a minute too.
But-- but you like the tv, right? It's like magic moving pictures.
I know about the tv.
I got rid of mine because I was wasting so much time watching "thai idol.
" I still cannot believe they voted off bantika.
Khun yai, how can you not want any of this? Can't you see how much better it'll make your life? My life is wonderful the way it is.
You eat crickets.
Crickets are very healthy.
Unless you eat the wrong one.
Then you die instantly.
- But, khun yai-- - please! Just take it away! This stuff was expensive.
Expensive doesn't always mean better.
Oh, please.
That's just something poor people tell themselves so they're not sad all the time.
No, money doesn't buy happiness.
Oh-- there's another one.
Look, farming is a wonderful life.
- It brings you closer to nature.
- I hate nature! Why can't it be indoors? Okay, my point is until you learn to accept your grandmother's way of life, you'll never connect with her.
Mmm, it's a little chilly out here, don't you think? I'm a little chilly too.
Brrr.
Maybe you should put your arm around me.
( Exhales ) Well, actually, the proper way to fight hypothermia is to not-- okay.
Looks like you've got a little something on your lip.
How embarrassing.
I'll go get a napkin.
Allow me.
Okay, stop! I can't do this anymore.
Do what? We haven't done anything yet.
- I have a boyfriend.
- I'm okay with that.
- I have a girlfriend.
- Cody, you like me too!? Not you-- Bailey.
You're dating your dog? She's not my dog.
She's my human girlfriend.
Then why is she at obedience school? Okay, you're not getting this.
Zack, the truth is I only went out with you so hilary could spend time with Cody.
W-- wait a minute! You're her wingman - and I'm the pathetic friend? - Hilary made me do it.
- She said it's in some rulebook.
- The girble! Look, I'm sorry, hilary.
You're a great girl, but I'm in love.
But not with me, right? Oy.
So that video you're making is for your girlfriend? - Yeah.
- I'm doing the same thing for my boyfriend.
Isn't being in love great? Oh, the best! This one Valentine's day So I guess this was just a big waste of time.
It doesn't have to be.
I mean, I prefer Cody, but-- I've settled before.
I'm not anybody's second! Eh, what the heck.
London? Are you working? Yes.
But please don't tell anyone.
This is my way of saying samong dong.
Huh? You have a pickle brain? No.
I'm just trying to say I'm sorry.
Look! I even pulled out these nasty weeds.
That's the rice.
I can't do anything right.
No wonder you wish Bailey was your granddaughter and not me.
What? Are you crazy? - I love you.
- You do? Of course.
Just the way you are.
I don't want to change you.
And, please, don't try to change me.
My eyebrows still hurt from all that plucking.
Sorry.
And sorry I messed up your rice.
That's okay.
Your mother wasn't meant for farming either.
That's why she left.
Well, don't take it personally, but she doesn't like to hang around anywhere very long.
But thanks to her, now I have you.
And I'll always be here for you, khun yai.
I mean, not here here, because here's, you know, ugh.
But maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle? You know, like a three-star hotel.
- Deal.
- Deal.
So I guess I'll take all the stuff out of here.
Maybe you can leave the high heels? They are good for planting seeds, plus-- they make my legs look hot.
- ( Laughing ) - ( Trumpets ) Oh, fine.
I'll get you a pair too.
But nothing is going to help those cankles.
( Trumpets ) - Cody, I'm home.
- Bailey! - Oh, I missed you so much.
- I missed you too.
- I brought you something.
- Oooh, heavy.
- What could it be? - I wrapped it.
A rock? A-- a rock! - Wow.
- It's from the chao phraya river.
Now you can stop complaining about the ship's laundry and wash your clothes in the sink! Oooh, a laundry rock.
There's even a smooth side for delicates.
- Thanks, Bailey.
- You're welcome.
Oh, I have something for you too.
I was working on it the whole time you were gone.
- Oooh.
- Okay.
Press play.
( Clears throat ) Cody? Why am I watching a video of you being potty trained? ( Stammers ) That's the wrong tape! Zack! O-o-- okay, gimme that back.
- Gimme that back.
- But it's so cute!