The Syndicate (2012) s01e03 Episode Script

1 We've won the lottery.
Eh? Yes! How many have you taken?! Don't know, six, seven.
You know they've found something on his brain.
You've half killed the man, you stupid bastard! Chill out, yeah.
He's fighting for his life! Annie! Will ye bring me slip on's down? I threw your slip-on's out, the back's had gone.
I can't tie them.
Every time I lean forward, I go dizzy and my arm's gone numb again.
I'll tie them.
We've got to get a new mattress.
I don't know what's happening to me, I'm falling to bits.
You've just had a head injury, Bob.
You're lucky to be alive.
I think I'll call in the shop on my way home.
You're on sick.
I know, but I want to see how they're doing.
You just need to concentrate on getting yourself right.
I don't mean to stay, I'll just pop in to see them all, make me feel normal.
Hiya! It's our Pete.
What you doing here? I've come to take me dad to hospital.
Why didn't you remind me his appointment was today? Cos I'm not your secretary, that's why.
Annie.
Anyway, why aren't you at work, son? I've taken the afternoon off.
Well you'd no need, Annie's driving me.
We better get going in case there's any traffic.
This is getting bloody ridiculous.
Why even bother having appointments? That's why I didn't want you to come.
I knew there'd be a load of waiting about.
I wanted to catch the bank before they closed.
Right.
I've done another spreadsheet and I'm hoping they'll give me the money this time.
You're just going to owe more.
I've bought the property, Dad.
It won't let unless I can do the conversion.
It's sitting empty and I'm leaking money every month.
You should've thought about that beforehand.
Dad, banks were throwing money at people.
I don't know why you got into property! You're a solicitor.
I was trying to make some money, Dad.
How much are you asking the bank for? I need at least another 200 to do it up properly.
200 grand?! My God, it's like Family Fortunes.
Now then, Pete.
Mat.
I've been ringing you.
Me phone's off.
What do you want? Bob! What do you mean what do I want? I've come to support you.
I couldn't remember what time your appointment was though.
Seems like they can't either.
How are you feeling? Well, I slept funny and me arm's gone dead, but apart from that I'm hunky dory.
I hate hospitals.
Me too.
Oh, for goodness sake! Are you pissed? Robert John Davies.
That's you.
About time.
What are they doing? Hey? Are they coming in an'all? Looks like it.
Oh, hold up, hang on.
Come in! What you doing? You can't barge in.
I didn't barge in.
Sorry, erm, we've come en mass, I'm afraid.
Is it all right if my family come in as well? Yes, fine, I'm not sure there's enough chairs though.
It's all right I'll stand.
I think you should sit.
I'm not pissed.
Mathew! So Robert Bob.
Bob.
Is it good news? We've had all your results, the scans, the biopsy and blood test back.
And? Will you shut up! Sorry.
You see this light grey area here? Yes.
That we thought was a cyst or a benign tumour? Yes, yes.
Well it turns out that it isn't either.
Great! That's a relief.
You have what we call a high-grade glioblastoma multiforme.
What's that when it's out and about? Trust you to have sommat weird, Dad.
What is it? I'm afraid it's a very aggressive form of brain cancer.
'The tumour is growing at an alarming rate.
'It's growing deep down in the brain 'and removing it would be far too dangerous.
'I have looked at the scan and X-rays very carefully 'and discussed it with my colleague 'and unfortunately it's completely inoperable and untreatable.
'I'm afraid the prognosis is not good.
' We'll get a second opinion, love.
I won't see the magnolia blossom.
You don't know that.
They say these things and people live for years after.
That must have been what all these funny turns are about, eh? I know.
Peter's trying to get an appointment at that private hospital.
Why? So I can pay them to give me the bad news.
But we need a second opinion, love, he might be wrong.
They were upset you didn't want to talk to them.
I've got nothing to say.
Hello, love.
I've rung a couple of times and left messages erm, just wondered if I could speak Bob.
It's not a good time, love, he's had a long day.
I just want to talk to him for ten minutes and then I'll go.
Who is it, love? It's Stuart! Well, don't keep him on the doorstep, tell him to come in.
Come in lad, I were going to call in and see you this afternoon, but I got caught up in other things.
Sit down.
Tried to ring you few times, you know, to find out how you got on at the hospital.
Do you fancy a drink, son? No, I'm all right, thanks.
Annie'll make you a cuppa, or do you fancy a beer? Erm We've got some in the fridge, go on, have a beer.
Get him a beer, Annie.
No, everything was fine at the hospital, yeah.
No problems there.
Got the all clear.
Well, come on, what's been happening at the shop? Are you managing without me? They've sent us a relief manager, we've got a newbie, Sally Anne, bloody hopeless.
Denise had her eyes done and she couldn't see a bloody thing.
That copper still coming in? Yeah, in fact he came in this morning.
What for? To ask me to go down to the station.
I've been there all afternoon, answering questions.
We haven't got any beers, I think the boys must've drunk them.
Can you slip down to the shop? No, it's all right.
No, Annie don't mind, do you, love? If you want rid of me, you only have to say.
A glass of water's fine, honestly.
Would you like bitter or lager? Both and some crisps please, love.
Would you get a bottle of whiskey, make sure it's good stuff.
Do you want some money? I think I can manage.
So what kind of questions have they been asking you, coppers? All sorts, really.
Why I didn't try to raise the alarm and why I were on my own.
Well, I should've never left you, but I felt shocking.
All I could think of was getting home.
I thought I'd give Annie a ring, let her know I was going to be early, but I couldn't find me phone.
Must have left it at the bloody shop.
Hello! Stu, it's me.
Ah, there you are.
I got nearly all the way home and realised I didn't have me phone.
What you doing in the dark? Nothing, I was just putting Ah, that sounds like mine.
I must've dropped it in there when I was puking.
Found it! Can you hear me, Bob? Have you any idea who did this to you? No.
Stuart was putting the takings in the safe and erm Try and keep your eyes open, Bob.
Stuart was putting the day's takings in the safe and? No Not all of them, I'd already cashed up one of the tills.
Stuart said there was just over seven grand in the safe.
Is that an average Saturday night's takings? When it's a roll over weekend, yeah.
So when Stuart was putting the money in the safe, were you aware of anybody else in the shop? No.
I'm sorry, I think he's had enough.
OK, Bob, we're going to let you rest now and we'll come back tomorrow.
Thanks.
The next thing I knew you and your brother and that smarmy American bloke were staring down at me.
I thought the bang on the head must've sent me loopy.
Bob, this is Andy.
Andy Faraday.
How do.
I've got some very good news for you.
Can you hear me, Bob? It's good news.
We've won the lottery.
Bob? Do you know, I thought you said, that we'd won the lottery.
We have, we have won the lottery.
18 million.
Bugger me.
There is a slight complication though.
Stuart is an unpaid up member of the syndicate, he's missed five weeks.
And in circumstances like this, we let the other members vote whether he or she should get their share of the winnings.
Well, you couldn't help being skint.
So which one didn't vote for you then? I dunno.
Well one of them must've said no.
They're not going to tell me, are they? I don't deserve it anyway.
None of us do, lad.
We just got lucky, that's all.
So what else did the coppers ask you? Why I said "get down" to the robber when I heard your voice.
They saw it on the CCTV.
Right Right, well I can see why that'd seem strange.
Are you all right, lad? Eh? You don't seem yourself.
No, I feel like shit Why's that, then? Come on, spit it out.
I said "get down" to the robber cos I didn't want trouble.
Makes sense.
I didn't want you to get hurt.
I thought if he saw you and you saw him he'd He'd shoot me? Yeah Except it wasn't a real gun, it was our Jack's.
So he hit me over the head with the whiskey bottle instead? That wasn't supposed to happen, I tried to stop him.
It all happened so quick.
Yeah, one minute I'm in the toilet, the next I was in hospital.
It was such a shit idea.
Your brother's full of shit ideas, isn't he? Well, I knew it wouldn't have been yours.
I shouldn't have listened to him, bloody stupid, but I needed money for the flat.
Well, he made it sound so simple.
And then when I found out they were selling us out and were making us redundant Last thing I wanted was you to get hurt though.
I'm sorry, Bob.
I know you are, lad.
I know.
Have you told the coppers? No.
Right.
I wanted to tell you first.
Well you've done that, nobody else needs to know.
I can't do that.
Course you can.
Get on with yer life.
You've got kids to take care of and money to spend.
Aren't you going to say anything? What would I gain by it? Besides, I knew it was you and your brother all along.
How? There's no way you known those takings were over seven grand unless you took the two bags home and counted them later, you wouldn't have had time to do it in the shop.
Why would you anyway? Why didn't you say sommat? It's Amy.
Talk to her.
I don't want to.
You'll be in trouble.
Hello? 'Where are you?' I'm at Bob's.
What are you doing at Bob's? I'm struggling here with the baby.
You're not struggling, I bathed her! Jack's been asking for you and your mother's busy packing the kitchen up.
I'm making a start.
I don't want to have to do it all in one go.
You heard what he said, once we exchange contracts that's it.
Did you hear that? I'll talk to her when I get home.
Don't be long.
We've bought a house and me mam thinks she's coming with us.
It's not easy, is it? What? Life.
Still, better than being dead.
Do me a favour will you, lad? Don't get involved again with yer brother, cut him loose.
I'm back! I got a couple of six packs cos they were on special offer.
I bet we do 'em cheaper.
I'll go get you some glasses.
Sorry, I'm going to have to go.
Oh right, I was as quick as I It's all right, Annie love, he's got to go, he's a family man, he's got bairns to take care of.
All right, lad.
Ta-rah now, take care of yourself.
I will, thanks, Bob.
No problem.
And remember what I said.
I will.
What's up with yer arm? I just put it out doing the garden.
If you need any help with owt No, no I'm fine, honestly, I've got the lads.
So do you think you'll be back at work before they shut us down? I don't know, son, I'll keep you posted.
I'll see you out.
See you, Bob Bye-bye.
Bye lad bye.
Stuart! Bob won't be coming back to work, love.
Oh, right.
I don't blame him.
It wasn't good news at the hospital.
Yeah, but he said I know what he said, it isn't true.
Why, what is it? He's He's got a tumour on his brain.
Was it the bang on his head? No, they only found it cos of the scan.
Can't they cut it out? It's too deep.
He hasn't got long left.
Shit.
I'm sorry.
Annie? Let the lad get home! See you, Bob.
Yeah, see ya! Go on, get yerself off.
Are you all right? Yeah, I'm good.
No.
I've just been at Bob's.
It's not good, Leanne.
He's dying, he's only got a couple of months left.
Oh, my God.
I didn't want to ring you and just blurt it out over the phone.
What is it? A tumour, a big friggin' tumour.
Annie told me.
I don't know what to do.
Poor Bob, I can't believe it.
I don't get it.
Why him? He's not got a bad bone in his body.
I don't know.
I just wish it was me that had it.
No, you don't.
My God, that's terrible.
It's so bloody unfair.
Hey come on, he wouldn't want you to be like this.
Oh, shit, sorry.
I'm going to go before I show myself up.
Don't be daft.
Bob's been like a dad to me.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here.
I was going to wait and tell you and Denise at work, but I wouldn't have been there.
I quit just after they took you to the police station.
Jimmy was doing my head in.
So when am I going to see you then? I'll keep in touch.
You're not just saying that? No, you're my friend and I don't know anybody else who's won the lottery, just us lot.
Did you speak to Josh about that house? There's one for sale near us.
No, tell you the truth, I'm thinking of moving somewhere else.
Where to? I don't know, I'm single and I've got the money now, so I can live anywhere.
Right, so I'm not going to see you then.
We can call each other.
Can I ask you sommat, Leanne? Yes? Did you vote for me to have the money? Of course I did.
I can't believe you had to ask me that.
Sorry, my head's all over the place.
I knew you would have done.
I better go.
You don't have to.
I do.
I, er, I didn't mean erm No, I know.
I'll ring you.
No! What is it? Nothing.
Ow Nothing, love.
Just a bad dream that's all.
What about? I've got to make a list.
I've not got much time, I've got to crack on.
I've got a lot to fit in.
I got to see the lads, I've got to talk to them, sort them out.
How much I should give them? I don't know, it's your money.
100 grand, 200? We need to book a holiday somewhere.
Where do you want to go? Where do you fancy? I don't know, so much to see, isn't there, before Pyramids? Las Vegas? Paris.
We could go to see the Eiffel Tower.
No, I went there on my honeymoon.
No.
Anywhere.
It could be our last holiday we have together, you know.
Don't say that.
You've got to face up to it, love.
I don't want to face up to anything till we have to.
It's one doctor's opinion, that's all.
He might've got it wrong.
Well, he can't just give up, there must be something they can do.
I just punched in terminal brain tumours and this lot came up.
Right, pass us it here, let's have a read.
Right get us some drinks in.
I'll have a double whiskey with a drop of water.
It's all right, I can Take it.
Take it.
Half a lager.
Cheers, Dad.
Let's go over there, shall we? Yeah.
So how've you been? Depressed.
Yeah, me too, it's a bit of a bugger, isn't it? Gemma's pregnant.
Wow, that's good news.
Bloody hell, I didn't think you had it in you.
Cheers, Dad.
I know I've been a disappointment to you.
Hey, who says that? You've not been a disappointment, it's all in yer head.
What are you saying that for? I dunno, I feel it.
Our Peter's a solicitor, he's got a posh wife and he's got property and Yeah, yeah, so what? You're a musician, your music makes people happy.
Don't forget that.
I listened to that tape that you sent me for my birthday, it's bloody good.
Which track did you like best? All of it.
You didn't listen to it, did you? To be absolutely truthful, son, it wasn't my thing, but I could appreciate the work that had gone into it.
Give it up for June Juniper.
So how many month gone is Gemma, then? Four.
I might just get to see him or her then.
We wanted to make sure everything was all right before we told anyone.
You won't be able to rely on Gemma to bring in the brass anymore.
I've been applying for jobs, but they don't even get back to you.
Newbury's are taking people on.
I don't wanna work in Newbury's, Dad.
I've been looking into setting up my own record label, all I need is Look, you've got enough on your plate.
What do you need? Nothing.
You to be well, that's all.
Hey, hey, hey.
Come here, come here.
We've all got to go sometime, son, it's just sooner than I thought, that's all.
You do what you want.
There y'are.
I can't take all this.
You're going to get it anyway, so you might as well have it now and then you crack on with yer label idea.
Cheers, Dad.
Nice one, June.
Thank you, sweetheart.
Oh, hello, love, nice to see you.
Bob.
Now then.
Well, I'm honoured.
At least you didn't heckle me this time.
I'm sorry about that.
Or sling beer at me.
I didn't sling beer at you, I tripped.
Yeah, and somehow the whole lot just managed to go all over me dress.
I haven't come here to go all over that all that now.
It all happened a long time ago, mother.
Oh, it's mother now, is it? £200 that dress cost me.
I hear you've won the lottery? Yeah, yeah.
Best part of four million.
It's a lot of money.
Good for you.
Are you going to sit down? I've only got 20 minutes before I'm back on.
I won't keep you long.
You're looking good, you haven't changed a bit.
It's amazing what Botox and fillers can do, isn't it? So if you haven't come to start a row with me and you haven't come to throw beer at me, what do you want? He's come to see you.
About what? Don't mam! Why are you always so defensive? Eh? Can you give us a minute, lads? Yeah, sure, we'll just be over by the bar.
And we'll be back with June Juniper in about 20 minutes time.
You're the mother of my sons, June, we share the same grandchildren.
It didn't stop you calling me an old slag last time you saw me.
Yeah, well, my head was in a different place then, I was angry.
I dreamt about you last night.
Bit of a nightmare, was it? No, I was trying to get to you, but erm But what? Nothing, nothing.
So is that what you've come to tell me, you dreamt about me? You were part of my life for 15 years, June.
So I've come to make peace with you, I've come to say I'm sorry.
Is this some kind of trick? No, I mean it.
Right.
So what are you supposed to be sorry for? For not being a good husband, for not giving you what needed, for not looking after you properly.
Oh, for God's sake! I think I prefer it when you're calling me an old slag.
It wasn't your fault I met a shmuck 15 years younger than meself.
Yeah, but there must've been sommat wrong for you to do that.
Do you know your problem? No.
You were too nice.
You were a push over, always was and always will be.
You gave into me all the time.
You should've said no once in a while.
I should never have worked the cruise ships, not with two small boys.
I could've worked the clubs like I'm doing now.
But it was a way out, I didn't have to do the washing, cook the meals, see to the kids, I could live me life in a bubble.
Every time I asked I thought you'd say no.
Part of me wanted you to say no.
I thought if I said no, you'd leave me.
I'd have thought more of you.
Really? Yeah.
So there you are, it was my fault anyway.
Anyway what goes around, comes around.
The stupid bastard ran off with a 27-year-old magician's assistant.
I'm on my own now.
Yeah, our Mathew told me.
I bet that made you laugh.
Till I cried.
So what about you and Annie? Does she make you happy? Yeah, she thinks the world of me and I think the world of her.
Good.
I like sharing my life with her.
Yeah, must be nice.
It is, yeah.
We're easy with each other.
But I never loved her like I loved you.
Oh, don't say that.
It's the truth.
Maybe that was the problem, I loved you too much.
The first time I ever saw you, at Susan Braithwaite's birthday party standing on that table, singing your head off.
I thought Yeah, she's trouble.
No, I thought, "That's the girl for me.
" Here, I want you to have this.
What is it? What's it look like? It's a cheque.
I don't want your money.
But I want you to have it.
No, I can't.
It'd mean a lot to me.
I don't care.
No.
I need to know that you'll be all right.
I am all right.
But you're not as young as you were, you're not as Glamorous? I wasn't going to say that.
Look, it's OK, I've got a bit put by and I'll be drawing my pension soon enough so you don't have to worry about me, OK.
I better go fix me face, I'll see you later.
You might not, June.
You might never see me again.
Why? What's up? Are you emigrating? Yeah, something like that.
Go on, take it.
No, I can't.
It wouldn't be right.
Put it in the bank until you need it.
Right.
Ta-rah, love.
It's a shame we couldn't make a go of it.
So did you tell her? No.
We come all this way so you could To get my head sorted out.
I know what I want now.
What's that? I want a party.
I want a great big bloody party.
See you later, Dad, and thanks.
No problem.
Night, son.
I'll give you a bell about the party and we'll go through some ideas, yeah? I think it should be pretty straightforward.
I'll ring you if I get stuck.
I think your brother would like to help, Peter.
Yeah, our Mathew's full of good intentions.
So I gather you've given him a cheque.
Bloody hell, that didn't take him long.
It wasn't a secret, was it? No.
I've got one for you as well, only it's not quite as much as your brother's.
Why's that then? It were that money I lent you years ago.
You won over 350,000,000, Dad and you're talking about £30,000.
It was 33 actually.
It was my life's savings.
I cashed my insurance policy and took out an extra mortgage.
I'd have gone under if you hadn't.
They would have made me bankrupt.
It would have ended my marriage.
Is that all she thinks of you? And I couldn't have practiced law.
You never offered to pay any back, Peter, not a penny piece.
Because I haven't had the money.
You managed to find the money for your skiing holidays and your Christmases in the Bahamas.
I tell you this every year, we stay at Abigail's parents villa, all we have to do is find the flights.
You don't even send us a card.
Oh, for God's sake, Dad, don't be so petty.
I had plans for that money, Peter.
Things I wanted to do, things I had to put on hold.
Well, you've got plenty of money now.
Yeah and no time.
Where've you been? Been, with the lads.
We've got visitors.
Bloody hell, they've sent a posse to get me back to work.
They know, Bob.
Right.
We've been doing some research online and we've come to show you what we've found.
There's a surgeon in South Africa who's got this special laser scalpel.
They put you on these drugs to shrink the tumour first, so you have to be there for a couple of weeks.
But he's had amazing results, look.
There's a woman called Mary in Durham, she was given three months and she's still here two years later.
It's all in that little computer.
We wanted to send the surgeon an e-mail, but we didn't know all the facts.
If it was me I'd definitely go.
You've got Annie and your two sons and your lovely grandchildren.
You don't even have to raise the money cos you've got it.
What do you think? It's a chance.
Our Peter's organised for me to see this consultant tomorrow.
You can still see him.
I don't even remember what he called it, he gave it a right long name.
You can find out tomorrow, he'll have your notes.
Is it hot tonight or is it me? They're waiting for an answer, Bob.
I don't know, I'll think about it.
Well, you haven't got long to decide.
Thanks for reminding me.
He's trying to be helpful, Bob.
I just don't like the idea of having my head cut open, that's all and did you see the cost of it, eh? I mean, there's the treatment to pay for, the surgeon and the anaesthetist.
You can't put a price on life.
Anyway, you've got the money.
It'd put a bloody big dint in it thought, won't it? Eh? And we'd have to be out there three, four weeks, maybe more and there's no guarantee it'll work either.
Well, what's the alternative, Bob? I say my goodbyes and leave you and the lads set up for life.
I don't want to be set up for a life without you thank you very much and neither would your sons! You don't know them, they've got big ideas.
I'm sure they'd rather have their father.
Now can we just drop it, yeah? I'm sick of hearing about it.
So how was June? June who? June, your ex-wife.
Oh, her.
Who told you? Nobody told me.
You put your best trousers on and stank of her perfume when you got back, it's not rocket science.
Why do they make these buttonholes so bloody small? I expect the boys told her you'd won the lottery.
Yep.
So I suppose she wants some money.
Nope.
Well what did she want to see you for then? She didn't I wanted to see her.
Oh, right, well that's bloody lovely.
So you going to move back in with her now are you, now her toy boy's dumped her? Don't be ridiculous.
You couldn't wait to go and see her, could you? You've never really given your self to me, not properly, it's always been June.
Do you think I didn't know it? Do you think I'm stupid? I've seen you scouring the newspaper trying to find out where she's playing next and I've heard you asking the kids if they've seen their Grandma June.
Well, I'm sick to death of it, Bob! I've treated your sons and your grandsons like they were my own.
I've bought them things, picked their kids up from school and I've never had so much as a thank you from your Peter, in fact it takes him all his time to be civil to me and you never say a word to him.
I've put up with it for years.
But I draw the line at playing second fiddle to some third-rate club turn who couldn't keep her knickers on.
I'm sleeping in the spare room tonight.
Annie, Annie, Annie! Would you go to South Africa for her? It's not about June.
Come and lie with me, Annie.
Feel the rain on your skin.
She never made me happy, not the way you do.
The only thing that matters is being with someone who makes you feel you matter.
I love you, Annie and I never want to leave you.
I love you.
What you doing? Getting the glass for the coffee table.
Let them do it, that's what we paid them for.
Cheers, mate.
So me mam said she's all right to look after the kids tonight.
What's wrong with you looking after them? We're going to Bob's do.
I told you.
No, you didn't.
I did.
You didn't cos if you'd told me, I'd have said I couldn't go cos it's Ellie's hen night tonight.
I told his son you were coming.
Well you'll just have to tell him I'm not then, won't you? Hiya! I don't see why we don't get a decent car.
We've got a decent car and we've got two kids, they won't fit in the back of a Ferrari.
I've just bought this house, a £20,000 ring and booked a holiday to St Lucia, so crack yer face.
Nice house.
Cheers.
We've got loads to do to it, but we couldn't stay at your mam's any longer.
Right, I better go see where they're putting the sofa, otherwise they'll just plonk it anywhere.
Come and have a look at the pool.
She's driving me up the friggin' wall.
All she thinks about is how to spend the money.
You wanted her back, mate.
So I've got me new suit for Bob's do You're going to go? Yeah! He won't want you there, trust me.
Why not? Maybe cos you caved his head in.
He don't know that.
Don't he? What's that supposed to mean? I didn't do it on purpose, I just panicked.
Anyway, they've got nothing on us.
I wouldn't be too sure about that.
They haven't, I've been down the nick this morning.
If they had owt, they'd arrest us.
Are you coming, Jamie? You better go, you've been summoned.
Bit different from the Infirmary isn't it? Your Peter always goes private.
Our Peter would.
Did you give him a cheque? Not yet, no.
Nobody ever gave me a bloody penny.
Mr Davies! Here we go.
Well, I've had a look at Mr Khann's scan and I think it's highly unlikely I'd be able to operate.
.
What did I tell you? Yeah, all right.
We have some friends who've been looking on the internet for us and they found this person in South Africa who's That would be Mr Shapiro, he's a pioneer in neurosurgery and it's true he's been getting some amazing results.
I have to be honest though, not everybody is suitable.
If Mr Shapiro thinks the tumour won't respond to the treatment he'll tell you straight away.
Right.
If you had what I've got, would you go? It's a lot to put yourself through and you might prefer to spend No, what I'm saying is, if you had it, what would you do? I'd be on the next plane to South Africa.
We might get all that way and this Shapiro bloke takes one look at me and says I'm not suitable.
Then we'll have a holiday, you said you wanted a holiday.
And another thing, I don't want to die on some operating table in bloody South Africa.
Well, where do you want to die? At home, in bed.
Anyway you might not die.
And I don't want burning either.
What? I want to be buried, with a proper grave and headstone.
Will you shut-up.
If you're going to carry on like this, you can go home on the bus.
What's the matter with you? I've got a brain tumour that I can't even pronounce, that's what's up with me.
I hope you're not going to be like this at the party.
So does Rodney know you won the lottery? Yeah, course he does.
I've given a big lump of it to the Dog's Home.
If things go well and you want to spend the night with him, I'm cool Leanne, I'm still married and I've only just met him.
Anyway, I don't think he thinks of me like that.
Denise! I know I look ten times better than I did, but let's face it, I'm never going to be a raving beauty, am I? And Rodney's really handsome, he could whoever he wanted.
This is Rodney.
Hiya.
Pleased to meet you, Leanne, I've heard so much about you.
Sorry about the smell of dog.
Bloody hell when I said a party, I was thinking more community hall.
Your Peter said him and Abigail come here all the time.
Make no wonder he's skint.
Who are they? Maybe they'll tell us where to park.
Granddad!! Hey, look at the pair of you Mum says it's your party.
Is it your birthday? No, sunshine, no.
I'm the tallest in my class.
Hi.
I bet you are We love it here.
Absolutely stunning.
Hey, Peter! Pete, Pete.
What? Do we give him a tip or what? Tomorrow when he brings your car back.
Right, is everyone ready? Come on, lads You all right with them, are you? OK, all in then.
Lovely, isn't it? You all right? We'd like a toilet in the room if that's at all possible.
All our rooms are en-suite, sir, you have a Jacuzzi bath and a separate shower.
And a toilet? Of course and complimentary toiletries.
Oh, smashing.
Would you like a sherry, sir? Why not er, Oliver.
Madam? Ta.
Sweets, fill your pockets.
Boys, stop that! They're just excited, bless 'em.
The room is ready for your party, sir.
Dad, they need your credit card.
Bloody hell, we've barely come through the door.
It's just in case of any extras.
What kind of extras? Just give her your card, Dad.
All right.
Here we are.
No need to worry, plenty in there.
We're heading to the spa first for some serious pampering.
Well, just a sauna.
I think not! Right, I think you guys are up here.
Oh, right, see you later, boys.
See yer! Can we stay with you, Granddad? Leave Granddad alone, he might want a rest.
Plenty of time for that when I'm Bob! We'll ring your room when we're ready.
Right you are.
Don't say things like that.
Not in front of the boys.
I packed me dressing gown.
Me too and me slippers.
They've got everything, nail file, sewing kit, shower mitt, it's amazing.
Do you think we can take them home? Why not, we've paid for them.
Oh, my God! What? I got me mam a panic alarm in case of an emergency and it comes straight through to my mobile.
Mam? Are you all right? I thought something had happened.
Only press the red button in an emergency.
No, that's not an emergency, mam.
Just press record and we'll watch it tomorrow.
Bye.
I didn't think it'd be so hard on my own.
I'm dying for a cigarette.
They give you cancer.
All right, big ears.
I didn't say I was going to have one.
Do you think Bob'll go to South Africa? I don't know, I hope so.
I'm just worried that a bit of him's already given up.
I'm going to give our Peter his cheque tonight.
Yeah, cos he's been brilliant, organising everything.
True, he's been very helpful, since I won the lottery.
Bob! That's an awful thing to say.
Well it's true.
When I started me funny turns and I asked if he could drop me off at shop on his way into office, he always had some excuse, do you remember? I think Abigail calls the shots in their house.
I think you might be right.
No, I can't make Peter the same as Mathew, that means Peter's had more.
That don't make sense, love.
I just don't know how much is enough.
Bloody hell, life used to be simple, didn't it? As long as you've got enough left in case you decide we're going to South Africa.
This arm's getting worse.
I tell you what, I've got a scarf, we'll put it in a sling.
No, I think it might look Wow! Look at you! Do you like it? I love it.
You look like you should be walking down a red carpet.
You don't think it's too much? Do I hell.
You look bloody lovely.
I'll be the proudest man in that room tonight.
I can't believe you're here.
Why wouldn't I be? I've told you, all we have to do is act normal.
He knows it was you who hit him.
No, he doesn't! Would you like a canape, sir? What is it? Wild salmon caviar.
No, ta.
All right.
Thanks, mate.
How would he know, yer stupid prick? I were at back of him.
You're just paranoid.
Just chill, man, we got away with it.
We haven't.
It was seven grand, that's all! Now then, Bob, how you doing, mate? Not so bad, no.
Where's Amy? She had this hen do booked.
That's a shame, never mind.
Debbie! Get over here.
This is Bob, who's party it is.
Nice to meet you, love.
Hiya.
Debbie's me girlfriend.
Very nice.
Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your bad news.
Oh, well, a bit of a bugger.
I hear you've left the shop? Yeah, well, no point hanging around for the sake of it.
I have invested in the adult dance business actually, so if you fancy coming down, it's called Blue Shutters on Boar Lane.
Dad.
How do you wanna do this? Do you want to say something before the meal or after? I think I'll get it out the way before and I can enjoy me dinner then.
Wind yer neck in.
This is Rodney.
Rodney the dog man, nice to meet you.
I think everyone's here.
I'll make an announcement Hang on a minute, before you do that.
There you go.
That should get you out of the shit at the bank.
Sorry it's a bit scrawly.
Thanks, Dad.
My pleasure.
I do love you, Peter, but you can be a bit of a snob.
Cheers, Dad.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but sometimes you do live above yer means, son.
Well, it's not exactly that straight forward.
Abigail's used to a certain kind of lifestyle and I have to Stand up to her son, that's what I learnt from yer mother.
She'll think more of you.
Ladies and Gentleman, family and friends, my father would like to say a few words.
Now then, I'm crap with words so I'll make it short.
Get down! You're probably wondering what you're all doing here, so I'll try to explain.
Up till now, my life has been very uneventful.
Lately though, life's become a bit of roller coaster.
Some things have taken a turn for the worse.
Like the robbery at the shop and the bash on the head In a way though, it was fortunate because they wouldn't have found Tommy Tumour growing away at a rate of knots Oh and another fortunate thing that happened, we all won the lottery at work.
That was brilliant, cos it meant I didn't have to worry about my family's future after I've after After all.
I don't want you to get all morbid.
This is not a celebration of my life or nothing like that.
This is not me having a wake while I'm still here.
Oh, it's boring.
I'd like you to think of this as more of a wedding breakfast.
Come on, love.
Come up here, come on.
Come up.
Doesn't she look beautiful tonight? Annie and me have been together for 11 years now.
I spent ten years on my own before I met her, I'm telling yer, those were the loneliest years of my life.
I have to be honest though, it wasn't me that did the running, not for single second did I think that the beautiful woman who worked in the off-licence down the road, would give a second glance at someone like me.
But she took charge, like she does, and asked me out and from that day to this there's not been one single day that we've been apart.
She's made me the happiest man on this earth and I thank God that she's been there for me through the good times and the bad.
No, hang on a minute, hang on a minute, I got something else to say.
I'm ashamed to tell you this, but I never got round to asking the most important question.
I should've done this years ago when I had the knees for it.
I love you, Annie, from the bottom of my heart.
Will you marry me? I'm sorry, love, you'll have to open it yourself, I find it a bit difficult.
Bob.
Please say yes, otherwise I'm going to look like a right berk.
Do you know something, I've waited 11 years to hear you say that.
I started to think it was never going to happen, but hearing you say it now, makes me realise the words I really want to hear you say are, "Yes, I'll go to South Africa, Annie, "to try and give us a few more years together.
" Oh, bloody hell.
You've put me on the spot now, haven't you? Go on, buy yourself a chance.
Please.
I'm waiting for an answer, Bob? All right, if we make it the honeymoon an all.
Done.
I mean yes.
Right, I'm bloody starving! Let's all eat.
What are you two up to, as if I need to ask.
No one's going to take your daughter, Leanne.
How do you know? So Leah's left, has she? Who? He came looking for her.
She's gone! They've taken her He said he was my daddy.
I don't like him having guns.
It's just a toy.