The Trial of Christine Keeler (2019) s01e01 Episode Script

Episode 1

1 This programme contains some strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature I'm an ordinary sort of person.
Maybe hard to believe, but I've never longed for the spotlight.
REPORTERS CLAMOUR But somehow, the spotlight found me.
Christine! How can you know when your story begins? Like any girl my age, I'd always dreamt of meeting Prince Charming.
Then I met John Profumo.
John was never Prince Charming.
I knew that from the very beginning.
Oh, shit! You're 19 years old .
innocent, guilty.
Shit! How can one girl have the power to bring a whole world tumbling down? Oh, Christine! Christine! Christine! Did you take my fags? Johnny? # Who are you # That I should be mindful of? Excuse me.
# You ran for refuge Then why lie? Hm.
Sorry, we're closed.
I'm supposed to be at this toothpaste thing.
Johnny! We need the money.
Oh, God, I swear, if you ladder my stockings, I'll kill you.
For fresher, cleaner teeth and minty bright, all day freshness.
HE CHUCKLES What? Minty, bright freshness.
Minty, bright, all day freshness! Bloody hell, I've not even brushed my teeth, you know.
Oh, I'm going to be so late.
Ah, you're always late, woman.
Hm, your fault.
# You could puff # Huff and puff # Till you bus' # It shall be rough # Rough and tough On your side Men are such fools.
WOLF WHISTLE But I like 'em.
And they seem to like me.
If a man finds a girl attractive, is she the one to blame? Ah, ah, ah .
careful, please! Ah, ah, ah, ah.
No butter, Mandy.
I know, I know.
It's Velvet.
Very good, Velvet, I'm not calling you bloody Velvet.
Where did that bread come from? The shop.
18, 20, 24 slices in the loaf, there should be 22 left.
Maybe they're cutting down and making it smaller, but charging the same? Anyway, I had toast for breakfast.
This is yesterday's, isn't it? No, I had toast, two slices.
Please stop, Mandy, you can lie to me all you like, but I'm not eating this bread.
I had toast! Fine, you can starve for all I care.
The world's about to end, anyway.
Miserable, old git.
I've had it up to here with him, Chris.
I mean, today of all days, right? Why, what's today? It's my 18th.
Oh, of course it is, happy birthday, doll.
And look what he gives me.
Oh, must be 500? A thousand.
Would it have killed him to splash out sixpence extra on a bit of wrapping paper? Peter's Peter, gave you a Jag last year.
Maybe he's run out of ideas? He's run out something.
Sweetheart? Full English, please.
Mand? Erm, coffee, please.
18's not that old.
I just want to have a bit of fun, you know? You could have a lot of fun for a thousand quid.
I was thinking of having my nose done.
You know, Harley Street job.
The photographers say it kinks out on the side.
Looks fine to me.
Really? There you go, love.
Thanks, doll, I'm skitters.
Keep the change.
Thank you.
Did you go to your audition dressed like that? With a ladder in your stocking? It was for toothpaste, they weren't looking at my legs.
They always look at your legs.
Christine Margaret Keeler, you didn't go, did you? Well, why not? That was a really good opportunity, Chris.
Good day to you, ladies.
Oh, bloody hell.
Can't stop, Lucky, in a bit of a rush? You going to see somebody is it? It's none of your business? Look, you think I cannot follow you everywhere you go? Leave her alone.
So you shacked up now, you little whore? Yeah, maybe I am.
You bastard.
You see what you make me do? Bloody hell, Chris, are you OK? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
I'm going to call the police, OK No! This can't keep happening.
Just Let's go to Stephen's, come on.
Dr Stephen Ward.
He was always there to save me.
And there never seemed to price to pay .
or so I thought.
Open your mouth, little baby.
A little wider.
Ah, you'll live.
The swelling might come up in a few hours.
I think I have some arnica somewhere.
Well, I told her to go to the police.
It's fine.
Lucky'll get over it.
Must have just heard about me and Johnny.
Chris, here, darling, on this at least, Lucky and I see eye to eye.
The last thing you need in your complicated little life is another low-life Jamaican boyfriend.
He's not Jamaican.
He's from Antigua.
Johnny can't stick Jamaicans.
And he's nothing like Lucky.
You're just prejudiced.
Oh, no, you know it's not that.
I just I worry about you, that's all.
Nice arse.
Thank you.
Anyone we know? Strictly professional, little baby, a man has his needs.
I'll pop to the launderette later.
It's just until I sort myself out.
You can stay here as long as you like, darling, you know that.
That is if we're spared.
Spared? Khrushchev's missiles.
Cuba, little baby.
The Russians? Oh, bloody Russians.
Is ten all right, Mand? Help yourself.
Butyou need start taking your modelling seriously, Christine.
Tell her, Stephen.
DOORBELL RINGS Talking of Russians Bloody hell, Eugene, why don't you just leave your toothbrush here? Hm.
MI5 may have been watching Captain Ivanov, but, to me, it was just another one of Stephen's friends.
I had no idea what an extraordinary life I was leading.
But then, Mr Profumo was the extraordinary one, not me.
Jolly good.
But lunch is always very good.
It'd better be.
Terribly sorry, sir.
My mother is a tremendous fan, Miss Hobson.
She simply would never forgive me.
Of course.
I go by Mrs Profumo, these days, but let's not disappoint your mother.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I sometimes think I should become Prime Minister just to trump you.
They'd still ask for my autograph.
They'd ask for mine first! Mr Profumo.
Daily Mirror, sir.
Anything to say about the Cuba situation? Yes, the Prime Minister is absolutely right.
We cannot bow to bullying from the Soviets.
Shall we? Everyone was worrying about the bomb, when they should have been worrying about me.
I was much more dangerous than Russia.
Oh, shit! Ah, Christine.
A towel, Jack.
Give the poor girl that towel.
Of course.
Right you are.
GIGGLING Sorry! Oh, God! Did you see them? You're an absolute bugger! You knew I was going for a swim.
Naked as nature intended.
Poor Jack didn't know where to look.
He knew exactly where to bloody look! I suppose it saves me from introducing you formally to Mr Profumo.
Is he foreign? He's the coming man, little baby.
Might be our next Prime Minister.
His wife's very beautiful.
Even more than at the pictures.
She's stunning.
For a woman of her age.
But she is her age.
And I'd say Mr Profumo only has eyes for you.
It's all very well building Profumo up to tear the Prime Minister down.
We don't want the Tories in at all, do we? I thought you said the film star angle goes down well with the punters.
Like strawberries and cream.
Along with the war hero angle, that's the trouble.
We're making them look like the golden couple.
Fortunately for us, nobody's perfect, are they? Would you like me to have a sniff? Sniff away, Alan, my lad.
See if anything stinks.
If the Tories are thinking of getting rid of the PM and replacing him with the Fifth Baron Profumo .
the public has a right to know the kind of man he is.
Aha! So, this is what you've been up to, Jack! Stands firm?! What the hell are they implying? Ah, they're just solid on this missile nonsense.
And you've got the balls for the top job.
Ha! If the old man could ever be persuaded to retire! Hm, he seems determined to drop in harness.
We may have to shoot him.
HE CHUCKLES Keep up the good work.
You look smashing! Really? Mm.
I'd give you a job.
And the other.
Disgusting! What did you say? Hey, Christine! Don't let it get to you, eh? Stony-faced old cow should be minding her own fucking business! And we should be minding ours.
Heard a lot worse.
Believe me.
Good luck, doll.
What about that two pounds I gave you? I took Mum! Mum, listen! Look, I can't give it to you straightaway, but I've got a few things coming up.
Putting yourselves all over the world, even in Communist soil.
They want me for this advert on the telly.
I know things are tight! I'm doing everything I can, all right? Well, give him ten bob now and tell him he can have the rest next week! What is happening in Cuba is the same that is happening in Germany.
That was half a crown at least! I'll owe you! God, my mum! It's like feeding shillings into the bloody gas meter, but it never gets warmer.
I think they're handmade shoes.
What? Mr Eddowes.
Is he one of Stephen's patients? Yeah, solicitor, or something.
Owns a few restaurants, too.
Be my guest, but I thought you'd had it with old blokes.
I like them.
I do.
As long as they're presentable.
Presentable? All the way to the bloody bank! I couldn't agree more.
I'm blowing missiles instead of money! Now, you sound more Russian than ever, my friend! The game is not important.
It's how you play it.
You're a lucky man.
My dear Michael, there is no such thing as luck.
Ha! Only an alertness to the opportunities life has to offer you.
TOILET FLUSHES Better be off.
You know, you can always bunk with me if you like, little baby.
No, Johnny'll be wondering where I got to.
You got five bob for the cab? Help yourself.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, you could do a lot better for yourself than Johnny.
Thanks .
Chrissie, look at you.
Your face is your fortune.
Notting Hill's not doing you any favours.
At your age, with your connections, my connections I'm not Mandy! All's I want's a bit of a laugh and enough spare to keep my mum off my back.
Not all's.
All! Eddowes, though.
Cash to burn and an eye for a pretty girl.
You know the drill.
You can have your cake and eat it.
You never eat it.
Just like watching everyone else stuffing themselves.
Crumbs everywhere! Kinky sod! I have to fancy them, Stephen.
Either I do, or I don't.
You know, if you are really short of cash, you could always go back to Murray's.
Stick it up your jumper! Hmm! # I like cake and no mistake # But, baby, if you insist # I'll cut out cake just for your sake # Baby, come on and knock me a kiss # When you pressed your lips to mine # 'Twas then I understood # They taste like candy, dandy and fine # Peaches, bananas and everything good # I love jam and no flimflam # Scratch that off my list # This ain't no jam, the jam can scram # Baby, come on and knock me a kiss Knock me a kiss.
Good girl, thank you.
Can I pour you more champagne, sir? That stuff bears as much resemblance to champagne as I do to Rock Hudson.
SHE GIGGLES But, yes, please.
What are you doing later? It's already "later".
I mean after the club shuts.
Having fun? Splendid! And you? You know, I could introduce you to a lot more fun.
Murray's, guv.
It's a topless cabaret.
One of the dancers was very friendly with Mr Profumo, apparently.
Have you spoken to her? They said she finished there months ago.
Well, she can't have vanished into thin air.
Did you get her name? Christine Keeler.
Christine Keeler.
I want this one, Alan.
You need to find her.
Cherchez la bint.
Stephen's right.
You've got a lovely place here, Mr Eddowes.
Michael, please.
I was so delighted that you accepted my invitation.
I thought perhaps you wouldn't.
Let me.
That's rather smart.
It was a present.
From an admirer, no doubt.
Jack Profumo, actually.
Profumo? The War Minister? He's something in government, isn't he? Something important, anyway.
Christine Thank you ever so much for lunch, Michael.
You're very sweet.
Darby and Joan, those two.
Isn't Ward worried the Russian chap's a spy? Eugene? Stephen says it doesn't matter because Well, cos wotsit's keeping an eye on him.
You know, they listen in on the phones as well.
MI5? Makes him feel important.
See you later, Michael.
Christine, baby! You stay away from me! No, listen! I just want to apologise for our misunderstanding.
I wasn't thinking straight.
You're not right in the bloody head, that's why! Mr Eddowes, can you get me out of here, please? Look here! This really isn't on! If you would be kind enough to allow me to explain myself.
I don't want to talk to you, Lucky! When are you going to get it? We're not together, you and me, any more! We're finished! Listen, Christine.
Lucky, all right, you're not doing yourself any favours.
Edgecombe is no good! You need to know that! Him slipping it to every girl he meets! Well, he's twice the bloke you'll ever be, so piss off out my business! No, listen, me just trying to apologise.
Drive! Me trying to help you, Christine, man! Get off of me, man! Lucky says it's me.
I drive him crazy.
Got that right.
You drive ME crazy.
Man's got a screw loose.
Everyone knows that.
I should get a gun to keep me safe.
The only thing he understands.
I'll keep you safe.
Will you? Every way I know how.
Are you sure you didn't get that job? Yeah.
They said they weren't hiring.
Which is what they always say before you see a white guy walk up and shake their hand.
Do you know anyone who could get hold of a gun? You got the wrong man, girl! Johnny Edgecombe is a man of peace.
And music.
And love.
You sure about that? GUNSHO GUNSHO GUNFIRE I'm not certain this is a good idea, Stephen.
You know Mandy.
Always keen on a new experience.
No, no, I meant putting Arran and Ivanov together.
Perhaps we should leave politics to the politicians.
GUNSHO Although, obviously, you will get rid of Mandy before lunch? I wouldn't dream of bringing her to the house, Bill, you know that.
Mutually assured destruction.
The world is on the brink of nuclear war and Lord Arran has the ear of the Prime Minister.
GUNSHO I can mention your idea to the PM, Dr Ward.
Though I'm not quite clear what a Russian naval attache is doing, attempting to set up peace talks.
Well, not everyone in the Kremlin is as hellbent on war as Khrushchev, my Lord.
And my friendship with Eugene puts me in a rather unique position, you might say.
GUNSHO Bloody hell! Oh! DOG BARKS Oh, bugger! Careful, Miss! Sorry.
I'll take that.
CHUCKLES This Arran, he don't take me seriously, I can tell.
Eugene, Lord Arran is an English aristocrat.
He's spent a lifetime perfecting the same expression for everything, whether he takes it seriously or not.
What do you think Eton's for? You didn't go to Eton, my friend.
These public schools that are in fact private, it's I went to a public school, just not Eton.
Or Harrow, or Charterhouse, or Winchester, or Sherborne! Sherborne is practically a minor public school, actually.
I've caught you.
Bill's in the bath, but he's suffering, I can tell.
His sacroiliac's out.
If you can spare the time, do pop along, would you? After supper.
I can always spare you the time, Lady Astor.
You've met, I think, Captain Ivanov.
I imagine you already know Lady Astor was a celebrated mannequin before she met her husband.
Well, retired.
We all retire when we marry.
Not from everything, I hope? Forgive me, Captain.
We're just about to beat the gong.
We didn't get an invitation for supper, huh? I fear my presence reminds Lady Astor of Bill's bachelor days.
Beans on toast at the cottage, old chap.
Food of gods! Communism, my friend.
High society.
Stephen couldn't resist a toff any more than he could a pretty face.
He saw himself as so much more than just a doctor.
And with his finger in all those pies, is it any surprise MI5 were beginning to wonder whose side he was on? Dr Ward, our society osteopath.
Foreign Office passed it on.
I always knew Ward was a loose cannon, but really! He's been on to Lord Arran, trying to set up a peace summit here in London.
Seems to think he can solve the Cuban Crisis.
He's a back doctor, for God's sake! Clearly, he considers himself something of an emissary for the moderate Russian view.
Emissary for cloud-ruddy-cuckoo-land! Peace! That is the last thing Comrade Ivanov's interested in! Surely Ward sees it.
The man's a threat to national security.
He's playing Ward like a Stradivarius.
If only we knew the tune.
You're continuing to keep an eye? Certainly am, sir.
Ivanov's always at Wimpole Mews and Ward keeps interesting company.
These popsies of his that come and go.
I was wondering if it would be useful to have a word with them.
Good God! Whatever for? It's just, well, they're clearly very close to both Ward and Ivanov.
And there's started to be a certain amount of noise about one of the girls and the Secretary of State for War.
Profumo? Well, we know about that.
It's done and dusted.
Let's leave well alone.
Especially when we can see exactly what they are.
Window dressing.
Parsley on the plate.
These girls aren't going to cause any trouble.
Not bad for twenty quid, eh? Said it was from the war.
Stop pointing that thing.
SHE GIGGLES It's not loaded.
Oh, come on! Let's go out.
I can't remember the last time we went dancing.
Do you fancy it? The all-nighters? Yeah, but not with this.
No, no, no, come on! I told you, didn't I? I'll look after you, darling, hey? Rargh! SHE SQUEALS You're looking good.
You're not so bad, yourself.
Best looking girl in the West End.
Come on.
All right.
Oh, flippin 'eck! Jack? Mm.
You haven't happened to see this month's parliamentary sketch, have you? Good God, no! Do I look like a dipsomaniac backbencher? Perhaps you should take a look.
You see what they're implying? It's obtuse enough.
"Who spilt the beans to MI5? "Because every time the card playing Russian spy arrived to admire "the showgirl's curves, out of the backdoor slipped the "Honourable Member for X.
" I wouldn't call that obtuse.
It's you and Christine! Nonsense, Bill.
It's absolute tosh! It was all over months ago.
Christine who? Bill looks awfully worried.
He came out of the womb looking like that.
It's just Westminster gossip.
I'll fill you in after supper.
You know I love you, right? Don't turn round, but Lucky's here.
Don't! Are you scared? No.
He's the guy with the problem.
Screw him! It's a free country.
Hey, cool it! Cool it! I got plenty of trouble without you running around finding it for me.
I don't want trouble.
If he doesn't like it, he can piss off.
Come on! Leave it, man, it's not worth it! It's disrespect! What was that, man? Listen, come on, you know me.
Leave it, leave it! Watch out! What you trying to do to me, hm? Rubbing my nose in it! You know everybody know me here! That's enough for now, man! We don't want any trouble! This has nothing to do with you, man! This has everything to do with me! Not so full of it now, are you? Shut your fucking mouth! I said leave it! What you going to do? I swear to you, I go box you right now! Swear what?! Come on! Yeah, go on, go on, go on! SHE SCREAMS You little bitch! Leave her alone! Leave her alone? Johnny! You try and play bad? What you going to do? Go on, now! Do it, now! Go on, now! What you got? Bring it! SCREAMING Cut me.
Everybody see it, him cut me! Them go' jail you! You mad bitch! Them go' jail both of you! Go on, run! Run! Christine, where are you? Christine! PHONE RINGS What's that? Mandy? What? Under the pillow! Oh, calm down.
It's only a bit of Fruit and Nut, in case In case? What in case? Well, a bomb.
If the warning goes off, it doesn't matter if it gives me spots, does it? Marylebone 643.
It's all kicked off with Lucky! Get Stephen! Oh, no! Stephen's at the cottage.
I'm in proper trouble, Mand! I'm going to come over.
No, listen, just lie low for a bit, OK? Peter's here.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Stephen will be back by then.
Mand! Get PHONE PIPS Shit! Christine, what are you playing at? We got to split! No! Before the pigs! Baby, come on! Why did you have to cut him?! DOOR OPENS Oh, little baby, what is it about you? Chaos seems to follow you wherever you go.
It wasn't me who pulled a knife.
No, I know.
But I did hear your knight in shining armour gave Lucky a face full of stitches.
Lucky started it.
The police should be after him, just as much as Johnny.
And any good solicitor will make exactly that case.
If Lucky provoked him, struck the first blow.
Of course he bloody did! I never thought Johnny would pull a stunt like that.
Never thought he had it in him.
Notting Hill, little baby.
What did I say? I am not moving back to Wimpole Mews, Stephen.
Did I even suggest it? I can't always come crying to you, can I? I've got to stand on my own two feet.
How much does a good solicitor cost, anyway? Little baby! Lots and lots of money.
Wiggy's brother got a place in Brentford.
I'm not going to Brentford.
Stephen's right.
And Mr Eddowes.
You have to hand yourself in.
Fuck that! Mr Eddowes.
Is that who you're seeing? Don't start that again.
Checking up on me.
I'm only doing this so we don't have to cough up for a solicitor.
It's normal to want to know where you are, if we're together.
If? Is that a question? No, no, no.
Hold on! Hold on! It's hard.
The walls are closing in, you know? When you're stuck in here all day and all night.
Well, you brought that on yourself.
I was protecting you! You're my girl, Christine.
It doesn't mean you bloody own me! You look particularly lovely tonight.
Is this new? Yes, I've had it a few weeks.
This is ridiculous, how is this being reported.
Like some glorious American victory.
Can I get you another drink? Thank you, my dear.
Can you believe this? I rather think you have to Close your eyes and think of the free legal advice, hm? Believe me, Khrushchev has made some counter demands to the Americans, wait and see.
God! Change the bloody record! America was always going to come out on top, wasn't it? More naval and air power, loads more intercontinental missiles.
Mandy is the expert! We should all listen to her.
I can read the paper.
Russia's got the ground troops, but that doesn't matter any more.
The theatre of war has shifted.
Of course ground troops matter! Ask the Germans if ground troops matter.
Mr Profumo would be able to fill us in, perhaps? I'm not sure if I want to know how close we came to being blown to kingdom come, thank you very much.
You know Profumo? Not as well as Christine, by the look of it.
Beautiful place, Cliveden.
Very English.
Another spring cottage, Stephen is the host with the most.
Cheers to that! Na zdorovie.
Your turn! GIGGLING Right, I think it's time for a race.
Girls against boys! No, no, no.
A piggyback race, girls on boys' shoulders.
Oh, my goodness! No, no, no, let's do Russia against England, huh? Yes.
Over here, young lady.
Your country needs you.
Don't tickle me! Honestly! They're like children sometimes, aren't they? On your starting marks, please! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Not exactly like children.
And ready, steady, go! CHEERING Yay! England have won! Fantastic.
Are you sure we haven't met before? You look so awfully familiar.
No! Yes! I'm afraid so! I've never been anywhere like this before.
It's charming, isn't it? Bloody hell! There's a lot to dust! HE CHUCKLES It's like being in a fairy tale.
Murray's Club, with the feathers.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's me! Did we have a drink? Oh, sorry.
I have drinks with lots of gentlemen.
Ah, here you are.
Ah! Another race! Best out of three.
I insist.
Come on.
All right.
National honour must be satisfied! LAUGHTER Let's go! Stop it! SHE SIGHS Mr Eddowes says you corrupted me.
I hope you told him I was very laced at that party, darling.
Piss off.
Have you ever been in love? 20 times a day, little baby.
You know me.
Why have we never done it, do you think? You shagged Mandy.
Are you frightened of me, Stephen? What are you scared of? Yes, thank you.
SHE LAUGHS I swear, when I'm sat in Mr Eddowes' car, it's like I'm 12 again.
All those dads used to touch me up when I baby-sat their kids.
Some wrinkly old cock.
Well, you don't have to look.
PHONE RINGS Well, you don't.
Why would you? What?! Ever?! And there you have it.
That is why Mandy has a mink coat and a Jaguar and will have a diamond ring and a flat in Mayfair by the time she's 21.
Last of the great romantics, our Mand! Mm-hm.
Peter's dead! He's had a heart attack.
SHE LAUGHS It's not a joke! They found him in his car.
He's dropped dead.
I was foul to him the last time I saw him.
I never knew.
And now I'll never be able to say I'm sorry.
I told him he had bad breath.
I didn't mean it.
He didn't.
Little baby.
SHE SOBS Hey! I'm sorry about before, doll.
Johnny? Hey, hey, hey, Christine! How's it hanging, beautiful? You know, we have some Mellor opium.
Darrell, have you seen Johnny? He'll be around here somewhere, you know.
What the hell are you doing with my boyfriend, you bitch? He's not your boyfriend.
He bloody is! Look at you.
He must be desperate.
What? No, no! Come on! Come on! Cool it! Cool it, Christine! Can't keep it in your trousers for one bloody night? Why should I? You're off putting it around the West End! Yeah, for you! You're the one that cut Lucky Gordon.
Who wanted the gun, Christine? I've got coppers everywhere looking for me! Fuck off! I've got all the law on me because of you! You know what? Screw the little scrubber's brains out! I don't give a toss.
But if you think I'm going to stand up for you in court or get a solicitor for you, John Edgecombe, you've got another fucking think coming! Get out of my way! Darling.
The floors are freezing.
There's a Rembrandt in the study, but they're too mean to heat the house.
When you said party, I thought you meant party-party.
Are you not in the mood? Thank you.
As my mother used to say, if you're bored, you're boring.
Cor, if people knew! When I left home, I had this idea in my head about London society - whatever it's called.
Like, everyone was posh was better.
Sex is the great equaliser, little baby.
You always say that, but no-one's doing this in Wraysbury.
Two people, lights out, ten minutes.
I should write a bloody book.
Chrissie, dear, who is the Prime Minister? Why, is he here? No.
I mean, what is his name? If you're going to be a writer, hm? Our good old PM.
I'm not stupid, Stephen! I know you're not, darling, but you are deliciously ignorant.
Why are you being so horrible? Hey! Little baby! Hm? Can I stay with you for a bit? I'd be delighted.
ECSTATIC MOANING Time for cocoa and pyjamas, I think.
You couldn't lend me a fiver, could you? I've got my mum breathing down my neck about her rates.
Need to cash a cheque.
Must dash.
Maharajah with a frozen shoulder.
Help yourself to whatever there is, little baby.
Not much, I'm afraid.
I was really in love with Johnny.
Oh, little baby! You always are .
until the next one.
Hm? No-one understands you like I do.
That's the thing .
we're twins.
No, we're bloody not.
DOOR CLOSES Stephen? May I telephone you? I'm in the book - Stephen's number.
A new suit? Yes.
What do you think? Very dashing.
Though do ask your tailor if it's necessary to cut your trousers so tight.
The world can see your penis.
It pays to advertise.
Isn't that what they say? Rather depends on what you're selling.
HE CHUCKLES Don't you think a prospective leader had better shut up shop, particularly if he's playing happy families? Well, you never know.
After Macmillan, the country might be rather grateful for a Prime Minister with a working todger.
If you have a fault, my darling, it is overconfidence.
And don't say todger, Jack.
Not if you ever want to fuck me again.
Oh, but I do.
Laddie died.
It's from my sister.
My pony .
he was hit by a car the same day Peter passed.
Isn't that strange? I saved every penny of pocket money I had to pay for Laddie.
When I was 12, he was my whole world.
You'll get over it.
Well, I know I will, but I feel really shitty now! BANGING ON DOOR Christine? Shit! It's Johnny.
I know you're in there! I mean it, Christine! Get your arse down here! I've got the law all over me cos of Lucky.
Tell him I'm not here! Well, where are you? I don't know, make it up.
Say I'm Christine! .
at the hairdresser's.
I'll not be a sacrifice! What, any black stud do for you, eh? You not be messing with me no more! She's not here.
She's gone to the hairdresser.
Bullshit! Christine! I've got a taxi waiting for me.
It's cost me money! Christine! Come on! There it is.
Now you can piss off.
What you playing at? I'm coming for you! Ooh, big man! Christine, you're winding him up! Go to your little spacky-faced bitch at the shebeen! She probably doesn't even know what it feels like to have a real man! Christine! THEY SCREAM Stephen, Johnny's trying to kill us.
You need to come quick.
Drive! Now drive! Yes, now! And I can quote you on that? Mandy Rice-Davies, with a hyphen.
Christine's the model and I'm the actress.
Christine? Keeler.
You got the hyphen for me? Hm? Just drive.
John Edgecombe, I'm arresting you on suspicion of attempted murder.
Take your hands off me! Shut it! I never do anything! I don't want to hear any more from you! Get in the car! Fucking coon! Thanks for your time, Mr Ward.
Thank you so much, Sergeant.
Well, little baby, I did warn you.
The poo-poo has well and truly hit the propeller.
Come on.
CHRISTINE: I am not a bad person.
I am young.
And I like to have fun.
And like any girl my age, I've made mistakes.
Yes, Mr Profumo was keeping a secret.
We both were.
But we weren't the only ones.
CLOCK CHIMES And believe me, the secrets that surrounded us led to far more than a few harmless lies.
It's true - terrible crimes have been committed.
PHONE RINGS But not by me.
Yes, sir? Yes.
Looks like the girls could be a problem after all, sir.
Christine! Christine Keeler? Who says so? It's not a face anyone's going to forget in a hurry.
We would love to hear your story, Christine.
When you're ready.
The story behind the story.
Pay you good money for it - photos as well.
Double bubble.
Think about it.
All right.
I will.
I didn't know it, but I still had a hell of a lot to learn.
I was naive and I can see that now.
But so was he.
And he was a man of the world.
So you found me in the book, then? Don't you look ravishing? Thank you.
My carriage awaits if you fancy a spin.
Why don't you come in first, John? Call me Jack.
All my friends do.
I wasn't expecting happily ever after.
Just a bit of fun.
But what started as harmless fun has sown the seeds of scandal - the most serious scandal this country has ever faced.