The Trial of Christine Keeler (2019) s01e05 Episode Script

Episode 5

1 Oh, God.
Stephen Ward's no ponce, sir.
There's no money involved with these girls.
I find that hard to believe.
I presume Mandy will be following Christine's lead, keeping quiet about our friendship.
Calm down! I want you to get him this time.
Is anyone else there with you? No, no, no.
It's just Paula and me here.
I sentence you to three years at Her Majesty's pleasure.
You are the liar.
You are the liar.
Stephen Ward, I'm arresting you for living wholly or in part on the immoral earnings of prostitution.
You do realise no-one will come forward to say it's true? They say you should make the punishment fit the crime.
It's not true, is it? Not for Stephen .
.
or for me.
Shame! Shame on you! Shame on you! Slut! First, they decided to punish us.
Life is good, little baby.
And then they decided on the crime.
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth .
.
so help me God.
Any comment on Mr Profumo's resignation, sir? Will Mr Profumo be making a statement, sir? Ah.
Well, that's that, then.
A civilian once more.
My resignation is officially complete.
Val? How could you? How could you give that common little tart the same scent? I mean, the failure of imagination apart from anything else.
Was it a job lot? I hope they gave you a discount! I don't get it though.
How can they let Lucky Gordon out of jail after all he did to you? It's not come to that yet.
Mr Barrow says he's being allowed to appeal because there's things that didn't come out in his trial.
What things? Just like he's saying I lied about him hitting me the night I called the police.
I suppose you gave yourself a black eye! It says they're keeping Stephen in solitary.
He'll hate that.
Have you moved the tape-recorder, darl? Paul took a load of his gear, didn't he? Said, since you'd fired him, he was clearing it all out.
The tapes and all? Oh, God.
There's all sorts on them, Paula.
Hours of it.
You know, about that night.
Oh, Christ.
Can't we just have a day off? It's saying we're prostitutes.
It's disgusting.
Call girl.
That's the other one.
"Stephen and his ring of call girls.
" I didn't say anything to the police about Stephen that wasn't true.
Did you? No.
Course not.
What else could we do? Prosecution barely has a case against you.
Oh, God.
It's frankly outrageous they're even pressing for trial in the criminal court.
And to be refused bail, let alone kept in solitary confinement.
I've lived a bohemian life, Mr Burge.
That must be clear to you.
But I have committed no crimes.
The Crown certainly begs to differ.
Eight wafer-thin charges lumped together to present as damaging an impression as possible.
Ouch.
May I take a look? I'll argue strongly in favour of bail but, on current form, it's likely to be set high.
Let me take the weight.
Do you have money in the bank, Dr Ward? I've never been a rich man, Mr Burge.
Apart from in my friendships.
Then let's hope it's possible to cash a few of those in, eh? It's quite remarkable.
Bail aside, if it comes to trial, you'll need people to speak up for you.
People of the best possible character.
I have no worries on that score.
Another one for you, thank you.
You've got the passports? They're in my bag, just as they were the last time you asked.
This business over Ward .
.
places us all in the same, quite frankly, revolting dilemma.
It asked how to respond to his solicitor's request to appear as character witnesses.
We've all been treated by the good doctor.
Many of us have been beneficiaries of his, erm .
.
hospitality .
.
over the years.
Surely everyone should take their cue from Viscount Astor.
He's one of Ward's oldest friends.
If he steps forward, it suggests those of us less intimate are right to follow.
I believe Bill's out of the country for a spell.
I'm Spartacus.
What? That film.
Kirk Douglas, was it? Awfully good.
I'm Spartacus.
I'm Spartacus! Are you sure you're not thinking of Exodus, old chap? Ward, get up.
You've been bailed.
The papers will write any old rubbish, you know that.
All I know is that they are offering me a thousand, so that's what it's costing you for me to stay out of it.
The coppers already know that me and Pete Comacchio was there.
I was only trying to keep you and Pete out trouble, you know I was.
If Lucky can prove I've lied, they'll let him out.
I can give you more another time.
Please.
Please, Watt.
Thanks, Chris.
You're a good girl.
See you again soon.
Honestly, Chris, you and men.
Could have been worse.
He could have run straight to the papers.
He's a prince.
What? You did lie about Lucky.
Only about Pete and Watt being there the night he came after me.
And the black eye.
That was Paula's brother.
He's hit me enough for real, you know he has.
He even managed to get a kick in that night.
I knew if I went on about the black eye not being from him, he'd manage to get off again.
The police backed me up, Mandy.
Course they did.
Because they knew they could hold it over you to get what they wanted on Stephen.
Little baby, we're not meant to speak to one another.
You're a witness for the prosecution.
Please, Stephen.
Please.
I can't do it.
The police, the reporters, everyone twisting what you say.
All the rotten lies.
It's all wrong.
You hardly need to tell me that.
It's a show trial, pure and simple.
They needed a scapegoat and it seems I fit the bill.
Do you hate me? I don't hate anyone.
It's not in my nature, you know that.
They're broken.
It's not the end of the world.
They're letting Lucky appeal.
I don't know if you heard, but .
.
if he can get off, maybe you will, too.
It doesn't work like that, I'm afraid.
It's all too late, Chris.
I'll be in the dock tomorrow and you'll be giving evidence against me.
But if he can appeal, so could you.
You don't understand, darling.
The damage would have already been done.
Use what you've got.
That's what you always said.
Sex makes the world go round.
Look where that's got me.
Both of us.
I was wrong.
It turns out it isn't sex at all.
It's Money.
That's what Mandy always says.
Power.
Power.
And those who have it will fight tooth and claw to hang on to it.
All I had ever wanted was the fun.
For other people to have fun.
Where's the harm in that? But, you know .
.
there is always hope.
I don't blame you, little baby.
But, please, Chris .
.
do try and tell the truth.
Steven White.
Jane Roberts.
They'll calm you down.
I can't do it.
I can't.
Yesterday, upon the stair .
.
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
How I wish he'd go away.
Will the defendant please stand.
Stephen Thomas Ward, you are hereby charged that you, being a man, did on diverse dates between June 1st 1961 and July 31st 1962, live wholly or in part on the earnings of prostitution.
How do you plead? Not guilty.
On count two, you are charged of a similar offence, namely living on the earnings of prostitution.
On count three, you are charged with procuring a girl under the age of 21.
On count four, you are charged How do you plead? Not guilty.
Not guilty.
Absolutely not guilty.
Miss Keeler .
.
whilst you and Marilyn Rice-Davies were sharing a flat early in 1960, were you introduced to other people by the defendant, Stephen Ward? Yes.
A few of his friends.
Did you have sexual intercourse with any of those persons whilst you were living there? I can't really remember.
Well, think, Miss Keeler.
Maybe a couple.
Were you paid for the intercourse? No.
Were you receiving money from any men at that time? Mr .
.
Burge.
Your Honour, this falls completely outside the time period covered by the indictment.
I really can't see how it's relevant.
Thank you, Mr Burge.
The prosecution is seeking to get a sense of all this girl's life since it is vital to the immoral earnings charge whether she should be regarded as a prostitute.
I'd like to say Well, I'd like to say I'm not a prostitute and I never have been.
Thank you.
That's enough, Miss Keeler.
We'll get to that.
So, turning now to the period of the first count .
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whilst you were at Wimpole Mews, living with Dr Ward, so called .
.
how many men did you have sexual intercourse with? I can't remember.
Hm.
Was it too many to count, Miss Keeler? No.
I'd say a normal amount.
But you can't remember their names? Some of them, obviously.
You seem to struggle with your memory.
The Russian, Ivanov? He was one of them.
Did he pay you money? No.
John Profumo? Everyone's read about that one.
Just answer the question, please.
You had sexual intercourse with Mr Profumo at Wimpole Mews? Yes.
Stephen wasn't there though.
Did Mr Profumo give you £20 as a present for your mother? Yes.
And did you give that £20 to your mother? Yes.
I might have given Stephen five of it.
You gave the defendant £5 of the money Mr Profumo gave you following sexual intercourse? I think so.
Yes.
But only because I owed Stephen for the telephone.
It wasn't as if I was giving him money for Thank you, Miss Keeler.
Miss Keeler.
It is obvious to anyone who has seen you, if you wish to earn money by selling your body, you could have made very large sums of money.
I suppose so.
Yes.
Yes.
And yet, while living with the defendant, Stephen Ward, you were not earning large sums of money.
Indeed, Dr Ward gave you spending money.
And you were reliant on him for your lodgings, use of the telephone, lights, hot water and so on.
Stephen was always very mean about the hot water.
And the money you said you paid to Dr Ward for the telephone bill and so on, how much would that have been? A couple of pounds, if I had it.
And I bought food if we ran out.
I always owed Stephen more than what I was making.
And so, in respect of the defendant living off your earnings, moral or immoral, you owed him money? Yes.
All your contribution amounts to is the occasional fiver and a packet of Frosties.
Yes.
Did you take the oath on a previous occasion when you attended the trial of a man called Aloysius Gordon, Miss Keeler, known as Lucky Gordon? Yes.
Did you tell the whole truth about that? Yes, I did.
Did you know that the man, Gordon, alleged all your injuries were not caused by him? The man's mad.
Of course they were.
And that he wished to call two witnesses, one called Fenton and a man called Comacchio, who you said were not present at the time of the incident.
I said they weren't present because they weren't present.
Do you know the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie, Miss Keeler? Of course I do.
Everyone does.
Even John Profumo.
Fuck! You next.
You don't know what it's like.
I'd rather be shot.
Teeth and tits.
Miss Davies.
Now, you came to London from Solihull two years ago.
That's right.
The day after my 16th birthday.
And at that time, you met the defendant? The so-called Dr Ward.
I met him with Miss Keeler.
We were both working as dancers at Murray's Club.
Did you, a girl of 16 .
.
have sexual intercourse with Dr Ward.
Just the once.
Did he pay you? No.
Shortly after he had intercourse with you, did the defendant introduce you to the late Peter Rachman? No.
That was Christine.
Miss Keeler.
She introduced me to Peter.
Be that as it may, Mr Rachman paid you for intercourse? Well, it depends what you mean by paid.
Miss Davies, you must answer the questions put to you.
Were you paid? Peter Rachman kept me, Your Honour.
We lived together.
I thought he wanted to marry me.
It's every woman's dream, isn't it, being looked after by your husband? I don't know if that counts as paying for sex.
Well, despite the quasi-marital relations between you and Mr Rachman, at the time of his death, you were once again living with Stephen Ward at Wimpole Mews.
Is that correct? And during that time, you were having sexual intercourse with other men? Yes, I slept with my boyfriend, and Douglas Fairbanks Jr and with Lord Astor.
You know Lord Astor has denied that intercourse took place.
Well, he would, wouldn't he? That's enough, thank you.
I will have order! Mandy! Mandy! Shall I make arrangements for our trip to Scotland or are you sure you won't be called to appear at this ghastly trial? I'm quite sure.
The relevant parties have been made aware it would serve no useful purpose to have me called as a witness.
It wasn't a lack of imagination, was it, giving her the same scent? It was so you wouldn't come home smelling of another woman.
Good God, you could write a book.
Now you'll have all this time on your hands, why not? The Adulterer's Handbook by John Profumo.
Everyone else seems to be making money from it.
Perhaps Bill Astor will collaborate with you.
Please, Val.
If we're to get beyond this If we're to get beyond it, we need to get through it.
I know it's not your way of doing things, but your way of doing things has got us to this point so I'm not terribly interested in taking advice from you at the moment, Jack.
Do you know what the party calls you behind your back? The Italian waiter.
The prosecution call Miss Ronna Ricardo.
Miss Ricardo, just after Christmas of last year, you visited the accused at his flat, did you not? Yes.
Were you alone? No.
It was me and my boyfriend and a girlfriend of mine.
Did you have intercourse with anybody on that occasion? Yes, with my boyfriend.
What did your girlfriend do? She was with Stephen.
In the other bedroom? No.
In the same room? All four of you together? Yes.
You were all taking part in intercourse .
.
together? Yes.
Upon how many occasions, Miss Ricardo, did you go to Stephen Ward's flat for the purpose of having sexual intercourse? Once.
How many times? Never more than once.
Miss Ricardo, I refer you to your statement made to the police, signed as true.
In January, did you go to Dr Ward's flat, where Dr Ward introduced you to a man? No.
Did you have intercourse with that man while Dr Ward waited in the other room? No.
"I had sex with this man in Stephen's flat.
"He gave me a pony.
" That's the sum of £25, not the diminutive horse.
Did you say that to the police? No, sir.
Then will you tell the jury why on Earth it's in your statement to the police, read and signed by you? I think I was kept so long at the police station, I was ready to sign anything.
Miss Ricardo .
.
you have convictions for prostitution on your record.
Is that correct? Yes.
And you have a young sister who lives with you, as well as your own child? That's right.
Was it put to you by Mr Herbert and Sergeant Burrows that if you didn't provide evidence against the accused, Dr Ward, both your sister and your baby would be taken away from you and placed in care? They said it would never come to court.
A couple of days?! A couple of days! They reckon Stephen's going to get off at this rate.
And Len told me the latest doing the rounds.
You go to the doctor and he says, "Don't worry, Miss Keeler, we'll have you back in bed "in a couple of days.
" Pathetic.
Do you think he will get off? I hope he does.
I've been in stir, Christine.
I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
All right, love? Can I get you a drink? I'd love one.
Thank you.
Mata bloody Hari's up next.
Never seen her at Stephen's.
Have you? Never.
And they call us prossies! Poor cow looks like a ten-bob knock on the Brompton Road.
Stephen Ward drove me to his flat.
He said there was a man in the flat who wanted to go with a girl and he said the man would pay him the money.
Who was to be paid the money? Stephen Ward.
He said if I visited him two or three times a week and went with men, he'd save the money up for me so I could get a flat.
Then he said he would introduce me to the best clients.
No! Mr Ward! Now, on arrival at the flat, what happened? There was a man waiting in the bedroom.
Stephen Ward gave me a contraceptive and told me to go into the room and strip.
And he said he would make coffee while we did business.
And did you have sexual intercourse with the man? Yes.
Did you see Stephen Ward again after that evening? Yes.
The following week, Stephen Ward picked me up and took me to his flat, and there was a man waiting in the bedroom, but a different man.
And this time there was a cane on the bed.
Did you use it on the man? Yes.
How were you dressed, Miss Barrett? In underwear and high-heeled shoes.
How much were you paid for whipping the man? Erm .
.
I don't know.
Stephen Ward took the money.
He told me he was saving it for me.
This is preposterous! That's enough, Mr Ward! I'm sorry, sir, but this is the absolute bottom of the bucket to hear lie after lie being told in this way.
You have to control yourself or I will have to have you removed from the court! Everything what that scrubber said is a pack of lies.
Even if it was, the other things Stephen's admitted to.
He's worse than an animal.
Four people at a time? Orgies? Whips? The man's a pervert.
It's the only word for it.
He's a monster.
Sitting in that chair, "I want to take care of Christine.
She's very young.
" Makes me sick to think of it.
The perfect gentleman? I thought you'd landed on your feet.
Aren't you going to ask me if I did any of it? Threesomes, foursomes, sadomasochism.
They call it S&M, but you probably know all about that.
I don't want to hear it, Christine.
Some men need to vibrate to get it off.
Shut it, you! You're upsetting your mother.
Being weed on or shat on.
You're disgusting.
You was happy enough to take my money.
16, standing at Murray's in a pair of knickers with my tits out.
What did you think was going to happen? You wanted to go to London.
I couldn't stop you.
You couldn't get me to leave quick enough after the baby.
Yes.
The shame you brought on this household.
Nothing but a common prostitute.
I am not a prostitute! I'm not.
No more than you are, staying with him.
Letting him give you a good poke when he rolls in from the pub just cos he gives you house-keeping.
At least I only have it away with blokes I actually fancy.
I am not a prostitute.
Morning.
Billy? The poor man's not stupid, sir.
It's a copy and he wants it back.
Has he given a copy to anyone else? A politician, he says.
George Wigg.
Something about wanting the truth to come out.
Little shit.
If Christine's on tape saying she lied in court about Gordon I've listened to it.
She says he lied in court, black eye, Fenton and Comacchio, the lot.
Lucky Lucky Gordon, eh? They might let him out after all.
It's worrying though.
What happens when they find out Christine lied? That's the difference between you and me, John.
You're a worrier.
Stephen Ward is a ponce, end of.
If it comes out later that Christine told a few porkies about Lucky .
.
so what? She'll have served her purpose.
There's no honour among slappers.
Good morning, Dr Ward.
Full of pep and go, I hope.
Ready to get in the witness box.
Do you think the jury believes Vicky Barratt? There is a strong belief in this country in the honesty and integrity of the police force.
It will do you no good to push the matter too far.
Not that the judge would allow me to.
Well, Christine, if you put more stress on her lying about Ivanov, and over Lucky.
Every one of that jury has told a lie, Dr Ward.
Many lies through their lives.
But they haven't indulged in foursomes or lived with a teenage whore who smokes reefers and takes a succession of .
.
negroes as her lovers, even if they wanted to do such things.
Indeed, the fact you've had experiences these people can scarcely admit they envy only pours fuel on the roaring bonfire of your depravity, as far as they're concerned, which is surely why the News Of The World increased its circulation by half a million since your case began.
If it comes out in Gordon's appeal that Miss Keeler has committed perjury, that will be another matter.
If she were to be exposed as an unreliable witness, Justice Marshall may have to dismiss her evidence against you.
So long as it happens before the jury has to reach a verdict.
That is out of our hands.
Today, you must concentrate on making the best possible impression.
And what about my list of character witnesses? Has Bill sent word? Lord Astor? Shoulders back, there's a good chap.
What were your intentions, arranging for two teenage girls to live in your flat, Mr Ward? I found them both very attractive girls.
Lively.
Fun.
There was nothing sinister about it.
They were both working at Murray's.
A great number of men as well as me appreciated their charms.
On various occasions, they needed somewhere to live and I had a spare room.
I became fond of them.
You were aware that they were .
.
promiscuous? Yes, I did speak to Mandy's parents about it, and Christine's.
Re-assuring for them, I'm sure, particularly after you'd already had intercourse with Miss Rice-Davies.
While you were claiming to act in loco parentis, you were also introducing them to your friends.
You are completely misrepresenting the atmosphere at Wimpole Mews.
I never set myself up as a father figure and most of the time I was busy with my practice or drawing or playing bridge.
A scene from an Austin novel.
Yet, Miss Keeler and Miss Rice-Davies have both said that they had intercourse with some of your friends.
Is that the case? If they say so.
Yes.
What did you think these promiscuous little girls were having sexual intercourse with men for? I imagine it was for enjoyment of the sexual act.
If only.
Miss Keeler has told this court that while she was living with you at Wimpole Mews, Mr Profumo paid her for intercourse.
Is that true? I had no idea that was the case.
No idea about the payment or no idea about the intercourse? No idea of the payments, certainly.
I could see an association was developing but I had no direct evidence the two of them were sleeping together.
As a matter of fact, I later reported my concerns to the security services, who will have the meeting on the record.
Now, that would be .
.
Mr Woods of the security services.
Yes.
But both the police and your solicitor were unable to trace him despite the most strenuous efforts.
I'm telling you the truth.
But Miss Keeler, you say, has lied? I think I think, like a lot of people .
.
she convinces herself that story she's told over a period of time becomes true.
This is the case with the supposed liaison with Captain Ivanov.
Christine is not a bad girl.
The newspapers are paying her a great deal of money for her stories.
But what about the police, Mr Ward? Are you suggesting that they are being paid by the newspapers? I have never made that suggestion.
But you said they lied.
About Miss Barrett, yes.
Miss Barrett has lied, Miss Rice-Davies has lied, Miss Keeler has lied.
If we're to believe you, every single person in this case has lied, except for you.
Even with the somewhat disreputable pattern of my life, do you think it probable that I would invite a string of anonymous men to my flat to be flogged by a streetwalker when since January I have been constantly watched by the police, had my phone tapped, been besieged by the newspaper men at every waking moment?! Ask the press if they saw Vicky Barrett turning up three times a week to Wimpole Mews.
Mr Ward, you are doing your case no good by not straightforwardly answering the questions put to you.
I'm sorry, sir.
It's It's a great strain.
Of course it's a great strain, Mr Ward.
It's a very great strain indeed when a guilty man .
.
hears the truth.
Princess Marina and the Duke of Edinburgh? Princess Margaret? What's happened to her? All the royal drawings were bought directly after the gallery opened this morning, on the condition they were removed immediately.
By whom? The buyer insisted on complete anonymity.
I've .
.
never heard a show like it.
Chin-chin.
Cheers, little baby.
If this trial was concerned with establishing that Stephen Ward led a thoroughly immoral life .
.
your task would be a simple one.
No-one has thought to disguise his character from you.
Indeed, my learned friend could make a honeymoon sound obscene, let alone the demoralised and undisciplined life of Stephen Thomas Ward.
If you felt the conscience of the nation had been shamed by a major scandal and then wished to find a scapegoat for that shame, you would hardly find a more suitable man than Dr Ward.
His conduct is such as to deprive him of any sympathy from any quarter.
But that is not why you are here.
You are here to determine purely on the evidence if Dr Ward lived wholly or in part on the earnings of prostitution.
In the course of their investigation, Chief Inspector Herbert and Detective Sergeant Burrows have interviewed over 140 witnesses.
Their pursuit of a conviction has coloured the interpretation of many facts connected with the accused.
As a convicted prostitute, Miss Barrett was vulnerable to pressure from the police.
Miss Rice-Davies also had pressure put on her in giving evidence against Dr Ward.
Even so, it amounts to very little.
Miss Keeler's evidence is more troubling.
After 24 police interviews, along with any number with the press, she might quite genuinely be unable to distinguish between truth and fiction.
If the conviction of Aloysius Gordon is quashed and the allegation is correct that Miss Keeler gave perjured evidence at his trial, then she has repeated that perjured evidence here in the Central Criminal Court.
How reliable is she? What the matter before you comes down to is this.
Is Dr Ward a dissolute man with an artistic temperament and high sexual proclivities or a common or garden pimp? Was this lamentable life of his lead for fun .
.
or profit? On any fair and impartial view .
.
you must find Dr Ward .
.
not guilty.
Members of the jury .
.
it will no doubt be a relief to get away from the squalid atmosphere of promiscuity and perversion that has permeated the evidence of Stephen Thomas Ward.
His own counsel agrees.
The defendant is a filthy fellow.
Yet, Mr Burge would have you think this is somehow irrelevant to the charges brought against him.
You may think differently.
Those two penniless, promiscuous little girls, and this West End osteopath, Dr Stephen Ward, setting them up with his influential friends.
What was the motive of this thoroughly immoral man if not to enrich himself in some way? Thank you.
We have received word from the Appeal Court that Aloysius Gordon has been freed on appeal.
Mr Gordon, is there anything you'd like to say to the general public? I didn't think there'd be the right thing done.
I'm pleased.
Relieved.
I just want to get on with my life now.
Christine, if you're listening, I forgive you.
Same in my heart as it ever was.
Thank you.
Mr Gordon, any other comments? Members of the jury .
.
you have heard the Court of Criminal Appeal has today dismissed Mr Gordon's conviction.
The fact that Gordon's appeal has been allowed does not, of course, mean the Court of Appeal found that Miss Keeler is lying.
As I understand it, since the witnesses, Fenton and Comacchio have been found, it was simply felt the court couldn't assume the jury would have returned the same verdict in Mr Gordon's case.
That is all there is to make of the appeal.
The Lord Chief Justice has said it might be that Miss Keeler's evidence was completely truthful.
As we all cannot help but be aware, in the eyes of the world, our national life appears to have become a sink of iniquity.
Common decency tells us this cannot be true.
Common decency.
It is for you and you alone to decide Ward's role in the many insalubrious matters you have been subjected to as evidence during this trial.
If Ward was telling the truth in the witness box, there are in this city many witnesses of highest estate who could have come and testified support of his evidence.
But the defence has called no such witnesses.
Not one.
There may be many reasons why Stephen Ward has been abandoned in his extremity.
You must not guess at them.
But the fact remains, he has been left, quite tellingly, to face the music alone.
Entirely alone.
Absolutely outrageous.
Bad enough for Gordon's appeal to be rushed through in this way, but for Justice Marshall to lead the jury over Miss Keeler's perjury, I have never seen the like in all my years at the bar.
Stephen.
Are you going to see Lucky now he's been released, Chris? Stephen! So that's it, then? All hope is gone? You must never say that.
Not until the jury come back with a verdict.
And I can assure you, if it's a wrong one, we have very secure grounds for an appeal.
Stephen! Wishing you luck, baby.
Yesterday .
.
upon the stair .
.
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I'm sorry I had to do this .
.
but it's really more than I can stand.
The horror, day after day, in the court and on the street.
It's not only fear.
It's a wish not to let them get me.
I'd rather get myself.
Be happy.
I tried to do my stuff.

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