The Twilight Zone (2019) s01e09 Episode Script

The Blue Scorpion

1 No.
No, no, no.
Wait, Anne, yeah, can you just, can you just give me a minute? Yeah, this is Wednesday, so I'm at, uh Dad? Dad, it's Jeff.
Yeah, can you just, can you just give me a minute? Yeah, yeah.
Why isn't he fucking answering? Dad, it's Jeff.
Anne, Anne, we shouldn't just throw away our marriage.
Unless you've found someone else.
You haven't, have you? No, no, I just want it to work out with us.
Yeah, well, I gave you space.
I moved out, didn't I? Dad? Yeah.
Yes, Anne, I got the the couples' therapist, and if that doesn't reset the marriage, then fine, I'll-I'll relent.
We can look into arbitration.
Dad? Come on, it's White Hot night.
Because I because I Anne.
Can you just, can you listen? Can you just For a minute? Like I said before, it's just not the right time.
I-I can't afford to go down the Dad? I can't afford to go down the divorce attorney route.
I got to Oh, fuck.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Yes, it's my father.
Uh, in his room.
He's, um he's shot himself.
My father's name is Otis Storck.
Professor Jeff Storck? I need you to know that such circumstances are always investigated, but we all know what this is.
Does this belong to your father? Is it registered to him? Look, Mr.
Storck, I know this is certainly upsetting be on our way if you can tell me - if this is your father's gun.
- No.
No way.
It's not.
I don't know where it came from, but he-he hates guns.
My father is he's a lifelong hippie.
Take this to the lab.
- Go over it with ballistics.
- Yes, sir.
Was your father sick? Alzheimer's? I realize you have a job to do and whatever, but can we do it later, maybe? I mean, my father just basically shot himself in front of me.
It would've been last night some time.
I said "basically," didn't I? Basically means basically, not absolutely.
He left a note.
- Fuck sake.
- I am permitted to read it to you, - if that's what you want.
- Can't you just Can I Can't I just read it? Here sits Professor Jeffery Mingus Storck, a man who holds a doctorate in anthropology, but possesses little true knowledge of himself.
Today, Professor Storck is surrounded by the many familiar artifacts that shaped his father's life, and the one unknown object that ended it.
As a scientist, he's about to embark on his darkest research project yet.
His conclusion will lie somewhere between the barrel of a gun and the outer regions of The Twilight Zone.
You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.
It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition.
And it lies between the pit of one's fears and the summit of one's knowledge.
You are now traveling through a dimension of imagination.
You've just crossed over into The Twilight Zone.
My dad fell in love with Lake Cayuga back when he played the Watkins Glen festival one lake over in 1973.
He jammed with the Grateful Dead during their sound check the day before they went on.
He led a pretty interesting life, all told.
Skipped up to Canada with Neil Young and Crazy Horse when he was evading the Vietnam draft.
My father played Cuba in '69, that Havana Jam thing with Billy Joel and Stephen Stills.
Met my mother on the march to Montgomery.
To want your lips Dragged us the whole way here from Ireland.
Never looked back.
Never got divorced.
Never went bankrupt.
Never went unloved.
Did it not turn out as he wanted? I Who did you love more than me? Whenever I'm feelin' lonely Whenever I'm feelin' blue Thoughts of you Behind Okay Fuck What the fuck is that? Good morning, Jeff.
- Yo, Jeff, what's up? - All good.
How about you, Jeff? See you tonight at Jeff's dorm, right? Oh, my God, Jeff - is a total Jeff.
- Such a Jeff.
Jeff! Hey, Jeff.
That's a good boy.
That's a boy.
Fuck Get out of my house! It's me! It's me! It's me! Anne, it's me.
- I'm just getting my mail.
- Jesus.
You scared the shit out of me.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
I just wanted Jesus, Jeff.
Oh, fuck.
Do you know how to, do you know how to do - the-the safety thing? - Just you point it.
I-I don't remember.
Why-why have you even got that? I live alone now, - and there were two home invasions.
- What? A couple of streets over.
Oh, um, this came for you, too.
The police delivered it earlier this evening.
Must be my dad's gun.
It's probably worth something.
Yeah, I'm not gonna make money off my dad's suicide, Anne.
You're gonna need the money, Jeff.
Friends have told me that I should get an attorney to protect both of us.
Oh So that's what I did.
He'll contact you.
We talked about this, didn't we? - I've been trying to tell you.
- A lot.
- The thing is, Jeff - You said you were okay with us going to couple's therapy, so It's that - I-I - What the fuck? I have fallen in love with another man named Jeff.
Oh, shit.
Am I "him"? Or am I "you"? The gun superstore dot com.
Yeah, hey, I'm-I'm looking to get rid of a gun.
You got the paperwork? Uh, look-look, I-I don't know anything about guns.
It seems old.
- How about the serial number? - Um - It's on the grip.
- Oh.
Okay Oh, hey, any chance there's a Blue Scorpion on the handle? Yeah.
There very much is.
Holy shit! I thought the Blue Scorpion was a myth.
Dates back to 1952.
It's from Cuba.
Che Guevara was looking for that gun.
It was made by this guy, Eulogio Cienfuegos.
The legend is, you don't find it, it finds you.
We can get you, like, $25,000 to $50,000 for the Blue Scorpion.
I mean, whatever.
I just want to get the bloody thing out of my life.
So, if you Fucking shit! - Oh, my God! Are you all right? - What the? Are you there, brother? - Shit.
- Hey are you okay? Oh Yeah.
I'm all right, I'm okay, I'm all right.
Jesus Christ, was there a round in the chamber? I don't know.
Send me all your information and a picture of the gun.
I'll take care of everything.
Once it's sold, and if you don't have a license, - you'll have to ship it, by carrier.
- Yeah.
But if you do, don't forget to punch a small hole in the box so some light can get in.
Legend is, the Blue Scorpion's afraid of the dark.
Where do I send my information? To me, Bob Jeff, at the gun superstore dot com.
- P.
Box 5252 - Hold on.
- Earlysville, Virginia 22901.
- Did you just say "Jeff"? I-I'm sorry, could you remind me Your research project is? "Animism in contemporary China.
" This-this research project is Sorry, excuse me.
This This research project is-is really messing with my head, Dr.
Um You know how animism - is, like - Yeah.
the belief that there's a-a spirit in, in every single thing, and-and even inanimate objects have a soul? Yeah, I know what it is, Grace.
Well, it's, like, nothing talks to me or anything like that, but I-I can't help feel that all my stuff my shoes, toothbrush, hats are all, like, friends.
Do you ever have that? No.
And you shouldn't either.
That's, um, I think what you're experiencing is anthropomorphism, attributing human properties to inanimate objects, which is different from animism, which is a religious belief, as I'm sure you know.
I wouldn't worry.
It's dri It's driving me crazy.
It's a little late in the term to be changing subjects.
What the F Okay, sir, when I leave my dorm, nothing can be, like, left by itself.
Like, if my boots are over by the bed and my gym shoes are in the closet, I-I feel like they're I don't know lonely.
And I-I have to make sure that everything is grouped together or I feel bad that they might be afraid of the dark, so I leave the light on.
I-I go back to my dorm It's just because of this stupid project.
It's the project, and I'm sorry, but I can't - I-I need to change the subject.
- Okay.
Thank you so much.
My shoes thank you, too.
Jeff Storck? Oh, I'm sorry.
I need to prepare for a lecture.
I'm Anne's attorney.
Fuck off.
Your name is Jeff, too? That's great, though, Jeff.
We can begin negotiations from a point of commonality.
Can you just ease off? Can you just Please, please.
This isn't, this isn't a good time for me.
I, um, my father just passed away, and he didn't do a will, so the whole estate is fucked up, you know? - Maybe we can do this another day? - Yeah, sure.
If any of that estate is left to you, uh, be advised that half of it now belongs to Anne.
So if you need any help at all I can make all of your troubles go away.
You have my card.
- Stop calling me.
- Hey, J - Hey, Jeff.
It's Bob Jeff.
- Just fucking stop! When I think the time is right to get rid of the fucking thing, you'll be the first one to know it, do you understand? There's only been seven owners of the Blue Scorpion, including you.
I have people lining up willing to lay down $100,000 for this gun.
If we sell this thing, all our dreams will come true.
Now, of course, don't forget my cut.
One pill makes you larger And one pill makes you small And the ones that Mother gives you Don't do anything at all Go ask Alice When she's ten feet tall And if you go Chasing rabbits And you know you're Going to fall Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar Has given you the call Call Alice When she was just small The chessboard Get up and tell you where to go And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving low Go ask Alice I think she'll know When logic and proportion Have fallen sloppy dead And the White Knight is talking backwards And the Red Queen's off with her head Remember What the Dormouse said Feed your head Feed your head.
Dad? Fuck.
Oh, man, I'm so fucking high.
Eulogio Cienfuegos.
Yeah, okay.
You're not really here.
You're not You're not there.
You're You're a hallucination.
That name I heard that name from the gun dealer guy.
Storck, the pistol wants to help end your troubles.
The Blue Scorpion loves you more than anyone.
It only asks one thing in return: Light.
It is afraid of the dark.
Good afternoon.
I'd, uh I'd like to I don't have a lot of experience with this.
You need to rent a gun? No.
No, I have one.
Can I see the gun in order to determine if it's safe to fire in the range? Yeah.
No, please, don't, sorry.
Just don't don't.
Have you ever fired this gun before? No.
No, I haven't.
And I only need to shoot it once.
- So - Why? Why? Uh because then I'm gonna sell it.
Why don't you just sell it? Why do you have to fire it first? Um you know, it it's not so much about the shooting of the gun.
It's more that the shooting of the gun will destroy a bullet.
A certain bullet.
No, but trust me, I'll be much better once I get rid of this.
Okay, it's it's just a bullet.
Ever since I'm come in possession of this gun, weird things occur.
Like, I keep bumping into different types of people named Jeff! And I understand that it's not an uncommon name, but to meet a different person named Jeff nearly every single day, it's not right.
It's weird, it's weird, right? His name's Jeff.
Fff Ow! You'd never hurt me.
Excuse me.
Just give me one second, please.
Okay, who's first? Thank you.
You're welcome.
What? You know You sure you want to go over these settlement terms without any representation? They can become, uh quite uncomfortable.
Oh, I'm comfortable.
I'm I'm at peace, Jeff.
I'm tranquil.
Because you see, I also have a friend who's gonna help me.
He's gonna make all of my troubles disappear.
So should we get started, Jeff? I've been looking forward to this.
Why don't we break down the assets? - Let's start with item one: the house.
- Yeah.
Item 38.
Fender electric bass.
No! No! You don't get to take my dad's bass! Are you fuck How can you even try? We're not "taking" it.
New York is an equitable distribution state.
It's unfair that you prevent such a valuable item from liquidation, for sentimental causes.
I love you.
I do.
I love you.
I love you more than anyone.
I do.
- Jeff - I still do.
How can you try to take that from me? I Well, bass guitars played at both Monterey Pop and Watkins Glen are very rare Can you shut the fuck up, Jeff? Could you do that for me? - This ain't about you.
- That language, sir, is inappropriate at this negotiation.
The language is inappropriate.
Okay, you know what, Jeff? I never even wanted the bass.
I just need a break.
You want me to show you something - you will find, inappropriate, Jeff? - Can I have security in here? What the fuck is this? - Taking a break.
- Get off me! Let go of me! We're just taking a break.
Get the fuck off me! Get off me! Just let me get out of here.
Okay? Can I, can I do that? Can I Have it all, Anne! Just fucking have it all! Just take everything! Except the Blue Scorpion.
You can have it all and shove it up your arse! - Escort him out.
- Okay, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
Before anyone gets hurt.
Just go, go, go, go, go.
I love him more than I ever loved you.
Were the tears in your eyes meant for me Or the man you had waiting at home? Yeah? Jeff, it's Bob.
Bob Jeff here.
Hey, I'm really sorry, I hope it's not too late to be calling, - but I just got off the phone.
- Too late, Bob.
Listen, no one will love - the Blue Scorpion more than me.
- Way too late.
I have no interest in selling the Blue Scorpion.
- Mr.
Storck - So stop calling me.
- I'll be sure you get - Never call me again, understand? Sir, I'm begging you, please don't hang up.
Because I will never sell him.
Please, just let me finish what I have to say.
Jeff? Jeff, you sound real busy.
I'll check with you tomorrow.
You got to ask yourself: did it take six shots or only five? You think you love her.
But you'll never know real love.
Shit! No what? No fuck! No, no, no! No! Shit! Stop! Fuck! No! Oh! Drop the gun! I said drop the fucking gun now! On the ground! Face on the ground! - Now! - Get down now! Hands where I can see them! This guy's 10-100.
He matches the description of the suspect who's been invading homes in the area.
Any ID? Barrett.
Barrett's the last name.
And his first name is Jeff? Yeah.
Why, you know him? You want to tell me what happened here? I want you to know that Anne greatly appreciates what you did to protect her and Jeff that night.
All the concessions are her way of showing her gratitude.
And so, Jeff, representing the regents of this university, we would be honored if you would accept the chair of the department of anthropology.
I'm looking for Jeffery Storck.
Yeah, that's me.
My dad says fish come closer in the morning.
Yeah, but he also says Limp Bizkit is better than Kendrick Lamar.
I don't know, old people say weird shit like that.
All right.
All right.
No way! Look what I found! Oh, my God.
Look! Check out the name on this bullet.
It's my name.
Let's load it? Oh.
That actually worked.
Like so Hold this.
And then, I think Look at this.
Hey, man.
Anything you say and do will be used to you in a court of law.
That's so cool.
Human beings have a funny way of treating things like people.
But today, they'll learn that as long as objects are valued more than lives tragedy will forever be manufactured here in The Twilight Zone.