The Venture Bros (2003) s07e03 Episode Script

Arrears in Science

1 [Rumbling.]
[All scream.]
[Indistinct talking.]
Aah! - Oh, dear.
- Ow! He's trying to run away! Super Run-Away!! - Aaaaaaah! - I'm with you, kid! All right, you heard the man! This is an evacuation, people.
Go, go, go, go! White! White! C'mon! Get the hell up! We gotta get outta here! Dad! Dad?! If that really is you, stop! Listen to me! You are not a building.
Brock: Doc! Doc! Come in, Doc! What the hell's going on down there? Uh, where do you want me to start? Huh? [Jets whooshing.]
Dude! It's the Morpho-Mobile! Dr.
The Monarch: The Blue Morpho? How is that possible? Oh.
Who fuckin' cares? I'm outta the doghouse! - Phantom Limb: Attention Blue Morpho! - Oh, shit! They found me! You are surrounded.
Come out at once with your hands up and face Guild justice.
Hunter! I need backup! Ven-Tech's under siege or something! No can do, Sunshine.
Had a major breech down at Dummy Corp.
All available agents are currently assisting - other customers.
- Dammit! [Grunts, pants.]
- No way.
- Uh, yeah.
Who's that now? [Grunts.]
It's the Blue Morpho! He's come to rescue us! Wait - Holy cats! Is that - No.
It cannot be.
Jonas Venture.
Where are you? 7x03 - Arrears in Science [Muffled dance music.]
Hello? Galacticon? Are you in here? Gasp.
It is true.
[Electricity crackling.]
Shore Leave, get ready.
We're going.
[Electricity crackling.]
[Creepy music.]
My home is in New-Ark.
[Lock clangs.]
Honey, I am home.
Darling? Aren't you coming to bed? In a while, dearest.
I've got somework to do in my study.
[Footsteps approaching.]
Hurry, Kano! Killer Drone has struck again! It's up to the Blue Morpho to stop him! [Music.]
Blue Morpho.
Blue Morpho.
You are the Blue Morpho.
I am the Blue Morpho.
Please, Signore Morpho, I work as fast as I can.
Hurry, Enzo.
Killer Drone is still on the loose.
Jonas Venture.
Where are you? [Music.]
I see.
Progressive biological life extension module.
Stand by.
[Rumbling stops.]
Can someone tell me what the fuck just happened? Shit! [Crash.]
[Dial-up modem sound.]
I still hang around [Music.]
- Welcome, old friend.
- Neither lost nor found I wasn't expecting you to come to my rescue.
Have not come for rescue.
Seek Jonas Venture assistance.
Memory: fragmented.
I am confused.
You look it.
However did you find it? Looked Jonas Venture up in phone book.
- Acquiring phone book was most difficult part.
- Of music in the night [Music stops.]
Can't seem to get that darn song out of my head.
"Street Life" by the Crusaders.
I know.
It's the last thing I remember before the darkness.
I've no idea how long I was out.
But one fateful day, I awoke.
I was unable to move or speak, but I could see and hear.
- It's on.
- It's off.
- It's on.
- It's off.
- It's on.
It's on.
- It's off.
- I tried to communicate with them.
- Dr.
Venture: That's called blinking, boys.
They mustn't teach the cadets Morse Code anymore.
Soon the blackness came for me again.
But I knew I was on Gargantua-1.
I built her.
I could communicate with her.
We had a miscommunication.
I was alone, disconnected.
Forced to forage for protein as my backup battery slowly died.
- Until a savior - Amazingly well-preserved.
- brought me here.
- I know the perfect place for it.
Wouldn't think an office building would have more complex hardware than a space station, but it's taken over a year to learn its systems.
And then this blasted albino came out of nowhere! I think they're talkin' to each other.
What is this, SCSII? - I sense great confusion.
- Yeah, you're sensing that from me.
- Anger.
- Also me.
You people really need to start explaining.
You know this, uh, thing? 'Course.
That's the Blue Morpho.
You told me the Blue Morpho died.
He did.
Plane crash took him in '76.
Yeah, but your father was havin' none of that.
Jonas Venture: I call him Venturion.
I call him an abomination.
You've gone too far this time, Jonas.
I thought you'd all be pleased.
I saved our friend's life.
Yeah, but what kinda life is this? Nah.
This is just wrong.
Wh what part of I just performed the most amazing feat of super science are you people not getting? Colonel Gentleman: But you know Jonas.
Within a few months, he'd lost interest in his new toy.
[Bird chirping.]
Then one day, he just snapped.
[Electricity crackling.]
Stand by.
[Dramatic music.]
[Dog barking.]
- [Strained.]
Dad?! - No.
- Dad, help! - No.
- Error.
Synapse - Action Man: Poor ole' Kano had to put him down.
Hasn't spoken a word since.
Brock: Doc? Doc?! Everybody okay in there? Door's blocked.
Can't get in.
Can you open the security gates? Uh, you'd have to ask my dad.
Your dad? Wh Aw, shit.
What do you people want? [Music.]
You two stay outta sight.
I'll find out what's going on.
Oh, what, are you kidding me? I want in on this, too.
Look what you're wearing, you idiot.
Good point.
We'll, uh, hang back.
"Good point.
Myeh, myeh, myeh.
" We demand entry this instant.
You are harboring a fugitive from Guild of Calamitous Intent Justice.
Yeah, well, you ain't gettin' in.
Maybe check your own house before you come huffin' and puffin' at mine.
Turns out he's one of yours.
It's Vendata.
Councilman One? I thought he got killed in the Sovereign's purge.
Red Death: Yep, it's him all right.
Hey! Down! All the more reason to let us in! We had an agreement with you OSI to collaborate on this manhunt.
Which you guys crapped all over when you hit Dummy Corp tonight.
Or you gonna tell me that wasn't you? We did no such thing! We've been yachting all day.
Then this Morpho-Mobile came screaming over the bow - like a bat out of New Jersey, and well, here we are.
- Hey, what's the haps? Dr.
Orpheus held a seance to unhaunt our house.
And then Pop found grandpa in the Problem Light.
Whoa! Was his corpse all rotten and stuff? - Or like mummy? - No, he's still alive.
What? W I want to go meet grandpa.
- It's only his head, though.
- Okay, that gives me pause.
- But still, zombie grandpa head - It ain't safe, Hank.
Grandpa's head thought he was your house, so he tried to up and run away with all us inside him.
And then Blue Robot came down from the sky in his magic car and made grandpa stop, but these guys are all mad at Blue Robot, so now Brock is trying Okay, okay, stop.
That's kind of a lot.
What on earth would make Vendata - dress up as the Blue Morpho? - What do you think, Z? Y-You're the one who built him, aren't you? To be completely honest, much of that summer of '77 is a blur.
This was during my "Lost Weekend" phase, when I teamed up with Shrill Spector and Scary Nilsson for a month-long bender.
We were sky high on toot and Brandy Alexanders, and we were looking for kicks.
Hey, guys! Let's go menace Dr.
Venture! But Jonas was not home.
So we figured we'd just throw garbage on his lawn and call it an arch.
And that is when I found him.
Vendata? You found Vendata? No, I found Venturion! - Who the devil is Venturia? - A super-cool robot! Or so I thought.
Till I got him back to my lab and took a peek under the hood and found parts of a real, live guy in there.
I should have just put the poor bastard out of his misery.
But then I never could resist an opportunity to turn one of Dr.
Venture's inventions against him.
So, I got to work.
I erased his memory, reprogrammed him for calamitous intent.
And, one sexy makeover later, Vendata, as we know him, was born.
I was ready to take on Dr.
But I never got the chance.
Some bungler dropped dime, and I got pinched on a narco rap.
By the time I escaped the Singapore super-max, Vendata was long gone.
Well, that explains exactly jack squat about what he's doing inside dressed as the Blue Morpho.
Don't you see? He has come home.
Vendata is not dressed as the Blue Morpho.
The people parts inside of him were the Blue Morpho.
Wait, if he used to be Blue Morpho, that would make him my husband's [Siren wails.]
All right, you people.
Clear this area.
- C'mon, disperse.
- Stand down, officer.
I got this situation under control.
- I'm with OSI.
- O-S-I don't give a shit.
In eight hours, this circle's gonna be filled with people and Underdogs and Santa and crap.
We gotta lock it down.
- The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
- Chop chop.
Here we go.
- I forgot all about it.
- Outta here.
Right this way.
- Your dad put me in charge of the VenTech float.
- Clear the sidewalk.
- Uh, is there someplace we can go? - Coming though, people.
Get that barrier up.
- I know a diner around the corner.
- C'mon, guys.
Take it elsewhere.
Ah, clever girl.
She's luring them away.
- Now's our chance! - For what? To what? Whoever this Blue Morpho imposter is, he's our ticket out of this mess.
But he had our car.
That means he's seen the cave.
- He knows our secret.
- That's exactly why we're gonna kill him.
[Compressor hissing.]
Hatred: Nah, nah.
It looks like he's flippin' us the dang bird now.
I need more air up in those fingers.
Come on, people.
I don't know.
Something just comes over me.
In the moment, it's like I am Enrico Matassa.
Or Or The Bat.
Or Russian Guyovitch.
Does that make me crazy? Am I like the guy in "Split"? Yeah, I don't think it's Dissociative Identity Disorder.
You just have an, um an overactive mind.
So, like the guy in "Split," but when he's the guy in "X-men.
" Hey, is that the museum where everything comes to life at night? Definitely have ADD, though.
[Lift whirring.]
Hey, oh, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait! - Th-That's my car.
- Sorry, pal.
You're gonna have to pick it up at the impound.
- It's at - Yeah, yeah.
I know where it is.
Can I get something out of my trunk, please? I Fatty needs his insulin.
Our arch-enemies are here.
Blue Morpho.
It looks like some evildoers have entered our lair.
Or we're in for it now, Jonas.
- And they appear to have a growth ray.
- Oh, oh, God.
This is - Why did I ever let you talk me into - Go Team Venture! What was I thinking? Jill St.
John and Stella Stevens, man.
What's to think about? But I I love my wife.
We're trying to have a kid, for God's sake.
And we're not havin any luck.
And I [Sobbing.]
I think it might be my fault.
- Don't beat yourself up, B.
- Something's wrong with me.
It's almost never the fella.
But science is doing wonderful things with fertility these days.
- Really? - Oh, sure.
Say, you should have the little woman swing by my compound for a thorough examination.
You You think you can help her? Oh, I know I can.
My science is quite potent.
- Bad friend.
- I came through, didn't I? You had a child within the year.
Sure, but you took Kano as payment for your services.
And you hung that tape over my head for years to get me to do your dirty work.
I need you to make the Mirror Miser disappear.
I need you to seduce Dr.
I'm fresh out of plutonium.
Well, look who's starting to sound like his old self.
You remember.
See, old friend? I'm still helping you.
Phantom Limb: Hmm, what what's good here? Try the Patti LuPone Melt.
The usual with the Side by Side Salad by Sondheim instead of fries, please.
- Ah, come here often, do you? - Used to.
Back in the Dark Ages, when Sovereign took the Guild underground, bunch of us'd meet up here every week to talk shop.
There was me, Stab Girl, Laugh Riot, Mr.
Fahrenheit, the Supersonic Man.
Hate-Bit, and Vendata.
We were the new wave of villains.
Young guns, champing at the bit to make our own mark.
I don't remember who first suggested the idea.
Probably started as a joke.
We should just go up there and arch the big man himself.
- What's stopping us? - Oh, only the Sovereign and a thousand crew, and, you know, space.
Now I know why they call you Laugh Riot.
Red Death: But Vendata wasn't laughing.
No, he suddenly got this real serious look on his face.
- Red Mantle: Did he have any other look.
- The man was a genuine cy-bore.
He was a tactical genius.
He figured out a way just six ragtag villains could hijack the ninth wonder of the world.
Because he calculated the precise time the entire Gargantua crew could all be found in one place.
Extra! Extra! It's Movie Night! Brock: Wait a minute! I call bullshit.
You're talking about the Movie Night Massacre, - the night Jonas Venture died? - That wasn't part of our plan.
- The massacre that wasn't us.
- Yeah, no kidding.
Because every OSI grunt knows it was Sphinx - killed Jonas Venture.
- [Laughs.]
You guys'll believe anything.
Sovereign knew that.
So instead of executing us when he found out how our unsanctioned raid went south, he made lemonade.
That set off the Pyramid Wars.
I got recruited to fight in those! [Laughs.]
Yes, and you did one heck of a job.
Wiped our competition right off the map.
Look at that.
I have never actually seen a man realize his whole life has been a lie.
So if it wasn't you, and it wasn't Sphinx, - who did it? - I have my theories.
- [Gasps.]
Venturion? - Negative.
You will comply with my demands or will broadcast this video documentation, Jonas Venture acts of sexual depravity in company of one Blue Morpho.
Fail to see humor.
Oh, you poor deluded half-man.
- You are the Blue Morpho.
- Negative.
Am Vendata.
You're confused, old chum.
Someone's been monkeying with your programming.
- Let me help you.
- Negative! Stay back! Or will open bay doors.
- Entire crew will be terminated.
- No, they won't.
Because my friend would never do such a thing.
He was a good man, a hero, and he's still in there.
Now I'm off to the picture show.
You're welcome to join me, old friend.
If not, well I trust you remember the way out.
But I was wrong about you, wasn't I? You pulled that lever and killed us all, didn't you? - Didn't you? - I I Action Man: Team Venture missed the previews.
Hate missing the beginning of a movie.
What kinda man takes an hour to pick out an outfit? You're worse than Jeanie, Horace! But we sure as hell caught the main attraction.
Venture: Yeah.
I'm a little confused.
There was nothing in the report about an explosion.
And yet when you found him, he was like this? Just a head? [Grunts.]
He's frozen solid.
- Lost him, Rodney.
- Don't you say that.
We just need to get him into the Pro-BLEM.
- Yep, found him like that.
- Sure.
Kano: Yuh-huh.
Those two overheating there or something? S-Something smells - Rodney? - Toast! Rodney! What's wrong with you? Oh, my God, is he having a heart attack? - A stroke.
- Oh, my God! We have to get him to the hospital right now.
How? We're stuck in here.
Dad! Hello? Snap out of it.
We need you to open the doors.
It was like this when he was alive, too.
- No attention whatsoever.
- Dude, will you get over yourself? Count Chocula! Use your voodoo to teleport him? - I am not a I can't.
I - I know what to do.
What? Run away? Typical.
Yeah, I don't think that's gonna help.
Hey, looks like something's wrong with one of the old dudes.
- What? - I don't know.
Old people stuff.
What's fake Blue Morpho doing? Nothing, he's just standing there with his hand in a refrigerator.
Dude, I I think he might be a robot.
Maybe your dad made Life Model Decoys of himself.
Like Nick Fury in "Strange Tales" #135.
Yeah, pretty sure we would have noticed - one of those lying around the cave.
- Hey, I think I'm stuck.
Brock: So we're all in agreement.
OSI and the Guild will take joint custody of Vendata.
And he'll be disassembled for the murder of Jonas Venture and the crimes of Blue Morpho.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
Check, please.
Watch his head.
Okay, we're clear! All right.
Hold still.
- Maggie's drawers, Whitey! - Sorry! Sorry! All right.
I got this.
Hang on.
Officer! Officer! This man needs help! We must get him to hospital! Aaaaaah! Holy crap! Aw, they're gonna get eaten.
- You suck, White! - No, no! I can work with this! Oh insect friend, thou beast who scuttles, avail us to lend your six legs as shuttle.
Yah! Wow.
They didn't even hesitate.
It's like they've done that before.
Jonas Venture: They were one heck of a team.
Dad? Down here, Rust! I'm using Venturion's antenna to speak to your watch wirelessly via the 2.
4 Gigahertz frequency.
Yeah, Wi-Fi, dad.
We call that the Wi-Fi.
Fun! Now listen very carefully, son.
I need you to do something for me while he's distracted.
You, little boy.
I overhead you say you were a neurogeneticist? It's Billy.
And I'm not a little boy.
Super, Billy.
I'm going to need you to transplant my brain into Venturion.
Temporarily, of course, until Rusty and I can get the ol' clone program up and running.
Wait, no.
That'll kill him.
- I took a Hippocratic oath.
- I didn't! [Laughs maniacally.]
Ah, geez.
Step away from the What did you call it? - Life model decoy! - Right! Step away from the Whoa.
Is that your dad? I'm telling you, it couldn't have been me.
I'd remember that.
What are you looking at? N-Nothing.
Finish your thought.
What are you up to out there? [Music.]
Uh, uh M-Malcolm? - Uh, wh [Scoffs.]
- Malcolm? [Screaming.]
[Both shouting.]
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait a minute! What the fuck did you call me? Who the hell are you? [All grunting.]
- Bastard! You ruined this - Get off me! Son of a [All scream.]
[Screaming continues.]
Awesome! [Dr.
Venture grunts.]
Are you guys gonna do that in the parade? Get out of the way! [Electricity crackling.]
D D-Daddy? [Crackling, hissing.]
- You! - You got him.
Yeah, I, uh, got him.
I killed the Blue Morpho.
Oh, and I kicked Jonas Venture's ass, too.
[Upbeat music.]
[Marching band plays.]
Dean: Huh.
Is it safe to be up here? [Scoffs.]
Not according to that know-it-all fire marshal.
but there was no way in hell I was giving up this view.
Dad, I wish you could see this, but you're dead.
Oh, hey, speaking of.
OSI wants the head for research and crap.
You cool with that? Don't you fret, now, Rose.
Old Rodney will pull through.
This ain't his first rodeo.
Or his first coma.
Come on, think about it, O.
It's perfect for us.
Three floors, a garage for the Triad-mobile.
- Blood Vessel.
- Plus, it's got a Dr.
Strange window.
- [Gasps.]
Here he comes! - And don't look now.
Here comes Rusty Venture, star of "The Rusty Venture Show.
" Announcer #2: The newest addition to the parade, Rusty is proudly sponsored by Whoa! Oh, my God! Look out! - Look out! - Ladies and gentlemen, we have lost control.
- Oh, this This is terrible, folks.
- Oh, sweet God in Heaven! - Sorry you have to see this.
- This is not what the Pilgrims had in mind.
If you have young children in the room, - please turn the channel.
- Lord help those people.
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