The Villains Of Valley View (2022) s01e16 Episode Script

We Don't Care

1
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
This show never disappoints!
Oh, whoo! It's the funniest thing on TV!
REPORTER: And that does
it for our 6:00 news.
Amy, you're not gonna believe this!
[NEWS BROADCAST MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
Were you laughing at other people's
misfortune on the news again?
Not me!
[CHUCKLES] Okay, maybe a little.
Some lady got trapped in
an elevator for five days
and it was not pretty.
If they didn't want you to
laugh, they wouldn't put it on TV.
You know, every time I think
I'm making progress with you people?
Something like this happens.
Anyways, Amy, the The
Round-Up is holding
their annual Battle of
the Bands on Saturday.
We have to enter!
Wait, so we get to
sing and battle people?
I'm in!
It's not a real battle.
It's a contest where bands
perform original songs and
face-off against each other.
I'm confused. Can I
throttle someone or not?
No! But if we win,
it'll boost our cred
as a new singing duo
and we'll be insanely popular!
Oh, we are popular.
The other day we were
singing at the food court
and someone tipped us with curly fries.
That wasn't a tip, they threw them at us
and said "Stop singing,
I'm trying to eat!"
Best two-ninety-nine
I ever spent.
[SIGHS] The only thing is,
to perform at the contest,
we'd have to write an original song.
- Which we've never done before.
- Big deal.
I used to write songs with
my villain band all the time.
Well, until they met their
demise in a fiery inferno.
Which is ironic because
we were gonna name
the band Fiery Inferno.
Oh, hey, Celia!
Come on in.
I know I'm supposed to
knock, but I'm too excited.
Plus, I really don't care.
Robert just told me he
booked us a romantic weekend
at Lady Bird Lake.
That sounds far away. I like it.
[SIGHS] We're gonna watch the sunrise,
play shuffleboard
and cruise the lake on
a kayak built for two.
You know why they build
'em for two, don't ya?
If I say yes, will it
stop you from telling me?
Anyway, since I'm gonna
be gone for a few days,
this is the list of things I
need you to do while I'm away.
Wait, so you're going on vacation
but you want us to do your chores?
I was wrong about you. You are smart.
It really doesn't seem
fair to make us work
while you're off having fun.
I could just raise your rent instead.
Then again, work does build character.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
Amy! I just came up
with the perfect verse
for our Battle of the Bands song!
Check it out!
"The leaves are growing.
The sun is shining.
I feel so alive.
The stars are aligning"
Wow, that's like the perfect set up
for the chorus I just wrote.
"Stop with the lies! Stop with the lies!
Everything dies!
Everything dies!"
I am not letting our first big
performance be a song about death.
Well, then I'm not singing
about the stars aligning!
What's your big finale? Butterflies
flying out of our armpits?
If you're open to it.
Look, the contest is tomorrow night.
If we can't write an original song
that represents the both of us,
we're gonna have to back
out of the competition.
Wait, no, I got it!
What if we perform "Loud Like Me?"
It's a song I used to
sing with my villain band
but it's the least-villainy
one I ever wrote.
It goes like this
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm not the hero type ♪
I do just what I like ♪
I make the city all mine ♪
All mine ♪
It's pathological ♪
The way I rock and roll ♪
I'm here To have a good time ♪
Good time ♪
Oh, no! ♪
On another level
Turn up like a rebel ♪
Oh, no! ♪
When I make a sound bite ♪
You wish You were loud like me! ♪
Yeah! ♪
Amy, that song is amazing!
But I still think our
first original song as a duo
should represent both
of our personalities.
Hey, Hartley.
Hello, Lamey.
Really, Gem?
Your name literally
means generic diamond.
I heard you're competing
in the Battle of the Bands.
So are we.
We call ourselves "Gem
and the Other Girls."
You know, that way when they annoy me
and I have to replace them,
the name will still stick.
Oh, I know they can
hear me, I don't care.
What's your point, Gem?
My point is that you
two should drop out now
and spare yourselves the
embarrassment of losing to me.
Oh, and them. [CHUCKLES]
But mostly me.
So, villain song?
Villain song!
Okay, Colby, I think we can check
some of the stuff of
Celia's "To Do" list.
Clean gutters, check.
Plant lemon tree, check.
Bury mysterious box
under lemon tree, check.
I shook it, pretty sure it's bones.
That was exhausting!
Why does Celia want her
lawn trimmed with scissors?
I added that one to see if you
were gullible enough to do it.
You never disappoint, Jake!
Okay. Only 22 chores to go.
Next up, tint the
windows on her "she shed!"
What's this?
MAN: I've got three
recliners for this address.
I'm sorry, we didn't
order any recliners.
Oh, they must be for our landlady Celia.
And we will be happy to
accept them on her behalf!
Dad, what are you doing?
Just keeping Celia's new chairs safe.
Inside our house. Under our tushies.
Under our tushies? Who says that?
Seriously? That's your biggest
bump with this whole thing?
Look, if Celia can go on vacation
and stick us with her
chores, the least she can do
is let us enjoy these sweet
recliners for a few days.
And you're gonna take the heat for this
when Celia comes home and finds out?
No. I'll be hiding in her she shed.
Oh, no! ♪
When I make the sound bite ♪
You wish You were loud like me! ♪
Yeah ♪
Hartley, if we're gonna perform
a bass-pounding villain anthem,
you can't sing it
like a bobblehead doll.
Sorry.
I've just never sung anything with
this rage-filled kind of energy.
It's easy. You just have to
tap into your inner villain.
Oh, you know, like when you take
money out from your grandma's purse.
I would never!
Oh, well, I used to take
money from my grandma's purse
so pretend you're me
and go crazy. [CHUCKLES]
I'm just gonna go get us a snack.
[SIGHS]
Okay, channeling my inner villain.
Oh, no! ♪
On another level
Turn up like a rebel ♪
Oh, no! ♪
When I make the sound bite ♪
You wish You were loud like me! ♪
- Hartley?
- [SCREAMS]
Mrs. Madden!
Oh, look at you standing
on the furniture,
there's hope for you yet.
When did I hear that song before?
Oh, I used to perform it with
my villain band when I was Havoc.
Right! Yes. It's about the only song
your band played that
didn't make my ears bleed.
Well, that stings. All of my songs
were supposed to make your ears bleed.
We're performing it at the Round-Up
for the "Battle of the Bands!"
Oh, no, you're not.
Singing that song in
public is way too risky.
Why? No one's even heard it.
We only performed it at
some villain music festivals.
Villains have music festivals?
Of course. Who do you
think invented mosh pits?
My point is, no one here
knows it's a villain song.
I'm not concerned about
people here knowing.
If someone films you and posts
it online, any villain can see it
and connect the dots
between Havoc and Amy.
And we will all get caught!
Well, what are we supposed to do?
The contest is tonight and we
don't have another song to sing.
Which means we won't be able to compete!
Sorry, girls, but this family's safety
is more important
than winning a contest.
I'm putting my foot down.
You cannot sing that song.
Wow. Being a good parent
feels like being a tyrant.
I like it.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
I can't believe we have
to back out of the contest.
I've never backed out of anything!
Backed into things, yes.
Backed over things definitely,
but I've never backed out of anything.
Hi, I'm Hartley and this is Amy.
We were supposed to perform
in the contest tonight but
They know my group is gonna
win so they're backing out.
Good call, girls.
Now we can just skip to
the part where you lose.
We are not afraid of you beating us.
Aw, it's so cute when she gets mad.
Are neck veins supposed to do that?
Amy, do not let her get to you.
- If she gets to you, she wins.
- Oh, I don't know.
I'm pretty sure if I
shove that microphone stand
down her throat, it's
a win for all of us.
Everyone! Let's give it
up for Amy and Hartley!
I know they say it's bad to be a quitter
but it's a good thing when a
person can truly admit they're weak.
Oh, yeah, there goes
your little neck vein.
Why are you so upset? [CHUCKLES]
I mean, that is why you're here, right?
- To quit?
- Never!
We're here to drop off
our sheet music and lyrics
to the house band.
Amy, what are you doing?
Just follow my lead.
Here you go!
Hope you brought a lifeboat
'cause our song is gonna
blow you out of the water!
Why would I need a lifeboat
if I'm out of the water?
I'll get back to you on that!
Amy! You know your mom doesn't
want you singing that song!
Correction, my mom
doesn't want any villains
to see footage of us singing that song.
What she's forgetting
is that my sonic powers
can emit an electromagnetic pulse.
Normal people words, please!
I can use the EMP to shut
down everyone's phones.
So we can still perform and
they won't be able to film us.
So your family will be totally
safe! [CHUCKLES] That's brilliant!
Oh, I'm glad you think so.
Because my backed up plan was gonna
be forcing you to sing the death song.
[GROANING]
All my anger at the
world is melting away.
Were we only villains because
we didn't have massage chairs?
I better turn this thing off before
I start having faith in humanity.
[BEEPS]
Whoo! You were right, Dad.
It's a lot easier to put
up with Celia's chores
when we can relax in these chairs.
Yeah, I just wish we kept them in
the living room so we could watch TV.
Because, you know, down here we're
just three dudes staring at a wall.
Hey, that wall is gorgeous.
And I'm not just saying
that because I designed it.
Okay, I am.
This may seem crazy,
but the three of us could just talk.
Then again, I mean, Dad did
design a really nice wall.
Oh, like your
conversation's so sparkling.
"I'm the Chosen One! I
did a kickflip today!"
Okay, that does not sound like me
and it was a 360 hardflip! Seriously.
It's like you just swipe
right past my stories.
Hey! I know how we can enjoy
the chairs and have fun!
Bring the chairs to life, befriend
them and have chair friends?
Guess again!
A bumper chair battle!
Bumper chair battle?
That's right!
I motorized the chairs and made
customized joysticks to control them!
That's a lot of work
to avoid talking to me.
Worst part is you're still talking.
But now we can smash into each other!
Why would we do that?
Because pain is funny, but
hurting family is funnier!
- [SCREAMS]
- [LAUGHS]
[GROANING]
You're right, Dad!
Hurting family is funnier!
You can't do that to the Chosen One!
- [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
- [LAUGHING]
I think the Chosen One needs
to be knocked off his throne.
I'll join that palace coup!
[GROANS]
[CHUCKLES]
Hmm Maybe I should
add some seat belts.
BOTH: Nah!
Oh, it's on!
[EVIL LAUGHS]
Amy, are you sure
performing your villain song
- is a good idea?
- Yes.
That song is gonna
win us this competition
and we're going to put Gem in her place.
Which I hope is an
upside down port-a-potty.
GEM: It's pathological ♪
The way I rock and roll ♪
I'm here to have a
good time Good time ♪
What the
Oh, no! ♪
On another level ♪
Turn up like a rebel ♪
Oh, no! ♪
When I make the sound bite ♪
You wish You were
loud like me ♪
I can't believe it.
- She stole our song!
- [APPLAUSE]
Thank you, Valley View!
Oh, no. I love you!
All right. Wrapped
it up, Jennifer Nopez!
What do you think you're doing?
You stole our song!
And I'm pretty sure
stealing another group's song
can get you disqualified.
You can't prove that I stole anything.
But what is against the rules is
you singing the same song as me.
So unless you have another one,
looks like you're
out of the compet-ish.
Competi-tion.
Yeah, I made it "ish"
'cause it sounds more hip.
But that's not even a word.
I mean what is "ish" why am
I going down this road with you?
You should be flattered
I sang your song.
You wouldn't want it to be ruined
by the two of you singing it.
- Amy!
- Mom!
What are you doing here?
Well, I thought you might ignore
what I said and try to
sing your song anyway.
So I came here to stop you.
Well, it doesn't matter because
Gem already stole our song
and performed it before we could.
Aha! So you were gonna sing it!
Of course I was.
But I had a plan so no one
would be able to film it.
Electro-magnetic pulse?
Smart.
Despite what your father
says, you get that from me.
Wait. If you were so worried
that Amy singing the song
could lead the villains to Valley View,
shouldn't we be worried
that they'll post videos
- of Gem singing it too?
- Nope.
[SONIC EMP ZAPS]
My sonic EMP doesn't just
stop phones from filming,
it destroys them.
Nice.
Wait, did you just destroy my phone?
Well, you always say
friendship is about sacrifices.
You couldn't pick a cheaper one?
Sorry, Mom. I never should
have gone against you.
I didn't want to lose to Gem, but
- I guess we lost anyway.
- Hey, whoa [CHUCKLES]
Hey, I didn't want you to sing a villain
song but I'm not letting you quit!
You're performing on that stage.
How? We couldn't write a song
we agreed on in a week.
There's no way we can write one
by the time we're supposed to perform.
I'm sure you can.
I mean, just write about what you know.
And I think you both know
you shouldn't let the
haters get you down.
- You're right.
- Yeah!
Who cares what Gem thinks?
Well, there you go.
I'm sure you got something
to say about that.
Thanks, Mom!
Hey. Aw
I'm really getting this
ordinary mom thing down.
[EVIL LAUGHS]
Stop ganging up on me!
It's two against one!
Correction, it's two
against the Chosen One.
Aw, look at him drive off
in his little scaredy-chair.
That'll teach him not to flaunt
all his powers in our face.
You see the glimmer
fading from his eyes?
His spirit is broken.
Man, I love being a parent.
Oh, ho, ho.
We scared him so bad
he abandoned his chair!
COLBY: Correction, I am the chair!
Wait.
If Colby shapeshift into a chair,
then that means the chair has
BOTH: Super-speed!
[GROANS]
COLBY: That's right! I can shape-shift
and super-speed at the same time!
Never underestimate the Chosen One.
Yup. Definitely should've
gone with those seat belts.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
Okay, folks, that does it
for our Battle of the Bands!
And according to our judges,
we have a unanimous winner!
Uh-uh! What are you getting ready for?
You had your stage time.
The winning part is all me.
Looks like I spoke too soon.
Apparently, we have
one more performance!
- That's my girl!
- What? No!
You can't can't let them sing!
Please welcome to the stage
- Happiness!
- [APPLAUSE]
Of Death?
This one's for all the haters.
Especially the one in the
pink dress at table three.
You can try to bring
us down, but guess what?
We don't care.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
We don't care! ♪
We don't care! ♪
No more stopping
Only green lights ♪
No more Mr. Shy guy ♪
Won't spend any time
Trying to be who they like ♪
If they try to turn it down ♪
We'll just turn it Way up loud ♪
Never let the critics Phase us ♪
Leave the hate in the
dust Being real is a must ♪
Won't keep it hush hush ♪
If they try to turn it down ♪
We'll just turn it Way up loud ♪
What's the difference
If you're different? ♪
Just go with it
And make 'em listen ♪
We don't care They
can't stop us now ♪
No more hiding Back in the crowd ♪
So let 'em say, hey!
What they'll say, hey! ♪
We don't, we don't We don't care ♪
We don't care If we don't fit in ♪
We won't let 'em Under our skin ♪
So let 'em say, hey!
What they'll say, hey ♪
We don't, we don't
We don't care! ♪
We don't care
About the talk talk ♪
It don't get to us, nah ♪
We do what we want ♪
We're just having fun, yeah ♪
If they try to turn it down ♪
We'll just turn it Way up loud ♪
What's the difference ♪
Time to finish this off with a bang!
We don't care They
can't stop us now ♪
No more hiding Back in the crowd ♪
So let 'em say, hey!
What they'll say, hey! ♪
We don't, we don't We don't care ♪
Oooh, na, na, na ♪
We don't care We don't care, nah ♪
Oooh, na, na, na ♪
We don't care We don't care, nah ♪
What's the difference
If you're different ♪
Just go with it
And make 'em listen ♪
What's the difference
If you're different ♪
We don't care! ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
How did they get sparks?
I didn't get sparks!
Ugh! This is not over!
We're leaving!
The judges have voted and
once again it's unanimous!
The winner of this year's
Battle of the Bands is Happiness!
Of Death!
[SQUEALS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[GROANING]
Hey, Dad, can I get
one of those ice packs?
Get your own, strong man!
Colby, how are you not in pain?
Is that another Chosen One power?
Yeah, it's called being young.
[KNOCKS ON THE DOOR]
Do you know how long
I've been waiting here?
- Five seconds?
- Sounds right.
Thanks for signing for my chairs.
Hartley was busy singing.
Guess that was more important
than Grandma's Tush Master 2000.
Is one of these for Hartley?
No, they're for Tawny and Tessie.
The girls come over for a
gab sesh three nights a week.
If we're gonna dish dirt, our
tushies might as well be cushy.
I think I've reached my threshold
for hearing the word "tushy."
Ooh, I can feel it huggin' my hips!
What's this thing do?
Celia, no!
[SCREAMS]
Forget to remove the motors?
You know how this goes. I'm
the chef, you clear the table.
You okay, Celia?
No! I'm not okay.
I'm amazing!
Ooh! I didn't know those
chairs could do that!
Hurry up and move 'em over to my place
so I can T-bone Tawny and Tessie!
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
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