The Weekenders (2000) s01e01 Episode Script

1
Okay, so this is looking like the ultimate
weekend.
Oh, hi.
It's Tino.
Anyway, check it out.
It is Saturday and we're at the beach.
And I got enough junk food to choke a
goat.
What work did you want?
Answer?
Nothing.
Okay, come on.
Yo, guys.
Snackage?
You didn't ask what we wanted,
Tino.
Alright, like I don't know what you guys
want.
Check it out.
I got Chug-a-Freezes all around.
Corndog for Carver, nachos for Lor.
A rolled taco for me, and a pressed
asparagus patty burger for Tish.
You see what I'm saying?
We've spent nearly every weekend together
since first grade.
We are synchronized.
Hey, chili cheese fries.
Yeah, synchronized.
Okay, Carv, I'll get the fries.
You guys, find a table.
Veggie chili.
You got it.
Seriously, we have got to stop eating so
much junk food.
Oh, yeah.
Next weekend.
Tish, over there.
It's Thompson.
Thompson Overman.
The guy you had the crush on?
Yes.
Like the one you have on my arm?
Yes.
Oh, sorry.
Man, I am so totally into Thompson.
Those sandals he wears drive me crazy.
I need to make him love me.
.. arm!!
Sorry!
I just don't know how to act around guys.
Right on, man.
Okay.
See you guys at Funville tomorrow at six.
He's gonna be at Funville.
This is my chance.
I've got 28 hours to figure out how to get
him to notice me.
I know.
I'll write him a love poem for you.
Uh-huh.
And how will me dying of embarrassment
help?
Okay.
How about we add a little Pygmalion to the Cyrano?
You are super making those words up.
I'm talking about a makeover.
You could be a whole new Lor.
That's great.
If I'm gonna have a makeover, I need a new
outfit.
Something really hot.
Carver.
He's a total fashion genius.
He can make Thompson notice me.
I need Carver.
I have to make him love me.
She has to make me love her?
I always know this would happen.
Lor has fallen for my charm and good looks.
She's in love with me.
Get over yourself.
You just don't know what love is like,
Tish.
Well, that's why I'm taking notes.
Oh my gosh.
It's true.
But this could change everything.
No more ultimate weekends.
No more synchronization.
There's only one thing to do.
Sit down and discuss it like mature adults.
Ignore it and hope it goes away.
Of course.
Why?
What fun weather we are having.
Whatever.
Carver, I need you.
Ah!
Okay.
What's up with him?
He had to run home suddenly for a reason.
And so do I.
Well, tell Carver I need him.
Right, I need him and I got it.
Bye.
And then she said to tell you she needs
you.
Man, this is a disaster.
You realize what it could do to our weekends
if she keeps mooning over me?
I sure do.
I prepared a chart showing how this would
affect us.
As you can see, it
indicates that within three
weeks our fun levels
will plunge to record lows.
Interesting.
And how did you obtain your data?
Made it up.
I see.
Well, this is an awkward situation.
Carver needs to look deep inside himself to see how he feels.
Then talk to Lor about his feelings and hers.
Gee, that's great advice, Mom.
Too bad Carver's a guy,
so the chances of him talking
about anybody's feelings
are like zero in infinity.
Yeah, but I can dream of a better world,
can't I?
What am I eating here anyway?
Hey, don't change the subject.
You know, if Carver doesn't talk to Lor
about this, it won't just go away.
It's gonna ruin your whole group.
Is this a tentacle?
Okay, fine.
Don't listen to me.
You know, just because
your father and I got divorced
doesn't mean I don't
understand relationships.
This is squid.
You're feeding me squid.
Yeah, well, maybe if we don't talk about
it, it'll go away.
Okay,
it's not even nine yet,
and Lor has left two
messages saying she wants
to go to the mall with me.
I'm in a panic spiral.
Did you just say panic spiral?
You gotta help me.
Okay, I asked my mom about this.
You asked your mom for advice?
No, not so loud.
So she said if you don't talk to Lor
about your feelings and her feelings
and that kind of stuff, our whole group is like wrecked.
That's what we have to do?
Yeah.
There's no other way.
Nope.
Well, I guess we'll just have to do it.
Talk to Lor?
No, stop looking for someone to replace her.
What are you, nuts?
Sorry, lost my head.
Mama love it when her Tishy bring friends home.
Tish, are you sure about this?
Well, since we can't find Carver, we'll
have to make you over without him.
Don't worry.
I learn American makeup styles
from Fishing Magazines.
Fishing Magazines?!
Fishin! Fishin! Like Fishin Model.
Oh, fashion.
That is what I say.
What rhymes with paramecium?
There.
Is done.
Ahhhhh!!!
Ah, it's nice, yes.
Now you hot like spicy bean.
This is bogus.
I need Carver to help me find some new
clothes.
Fear not, this poem d'amour will win Thompson right over.
My love is like a paramecium.
It divides and reproduces.
It's covered with wriggling hair-like
cilia and full of high protein juices.
Uh.. uhhhh
What part did you like?
The part where you were talking?
This makeover isn't going to work,
Tish.
I've only got a few more hours.
I need Carver's fashion sense,
I need Tino's advice.
Well, they completely disappeared.
I don't get it.
Maybe they're playing a surprise for my birthday.
Your birthday is not for eight months.
Maybe they're planning it really well?
Well, what do you think?
Too classy.. ?
Tish?
I'm dressed exactly like you.
You're right.
It's too classy.
I've been thinking about this
whole Thompson thing.
I think I should just stay away from him.
What's wrong with hiding from problems anyway?
Hello?
Your name's Lor, right?
Okay.
I saw you playing soccer on Thursday.
You were really good.
You're fine.
Uhhh
Okay.
Uh, well, maybe I'll see you around.. ?
whines. I don't believe it
My mouth like.. quit working!
I just totally humiliated myself.
Lor, he said you were good at soccer.
He likes you.
Really?
Really.
Cool.
You want me to replace Lor?
Well, yeah.
I mean, just for a while.
All this, just so you won't have to talk to Lor.
Um Pretty much.
You know what?
I don't want to hear it.
You can't ruin your
friendship with Lor just
because you don't
want to discuss feelings.
If you do, I'll
I'llughhh, I'll have you arrested.
Wow.
Your mom's really mad.
Carv?
Yeah?
I think she's right.
Excuse me?
Well, think about it.
Why are we avoiding Lor?
Duh.
Because we don't want things to change.
I know, but not hanging with Lor is like
the most gigantic change possible.
The only chance we have of salvaging our
group is if you talk to Lor about
feelings.
No, seriously, man.
I don't think guys are allowed to do that.
Hey, there you are.
Where have you guys been all day?
We have to talk.
We sure do.
I want you to come to the mall with me.
Fine.
You win.
I'll go to the mall.
Great, because I really
But first, we have to talk about our feelings.
What?
I feel frightened, of course, because I
know this will change our relationship.
How will shopping change our relationship?
I also feel that as we move forward
together, perhaps even into marriage.
Oh, marriage?
What the heck are you talking about?
Oh.
I
uh nothing.
Who, me?
No, I wasn't even talking.
Oh, my gosh.
You think I'm in love with you.
I'm sorry, Carver, but you're like my
brother or something and, you know,
ew.
Well, this is awkward, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Real awkward.
You know what'd make you
feel better, a nice ol' game of pool.
You think that'll save my dignity?
Oh, way too late for that, cowboy.
Okay, I blame myself.
I should have been
suspicious when Carver said,
Lor has fallen for my
charm and good looks.
Yeah, that would have been the
first sign of the apocalypse.
But it's cool.
Things haven't changed much.
For instance, we're still synchronized.
Check it out.
Three, two, one, zero.
Later days.