The Weekenders (2000) s01e08 Episode Script
To Be or Not to Be
1
Hey, Tino here.
Hanging on the big tree.
Okay.
Take a quick look around
and tell me what one thing is
wrong with this otherwise
delightful Friday evening.
That's right.
No Tish.
This is gonna be our third straight
weekend as a Tish-free zone.
You know whose fault it is?
Shakespeare's.
It all started Friday before last.
Tish tried out for this Shakespeare thing
at the theater in Bahia Park.
Oh, excellent, bravo.
That was such an organic choice.
You'll be a perfect Peaseblossom.
Peaseblossom, the fairy?!
Yes.
Go Fish.
We're playing Crazy Eights.
You guys, you won't believe it.
I'm in.
I'm in.
The Shakespeare thing?
Yeah, 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'
I am gonna be one of the fairies.
That Shakespeare stuff is so boring!
I know.
It's all like guys in tights talkin' weird.
Like, ooh, Tino~!
Wherefore art thou, thee, thou thee, Tino?
And whenforth will this thing ever endeth?
Okay, so we weren't all that.. supportive.
But we didn't make fun of her.
We just made fun of stuff that's important
to her.
Well, yeah, it's bad, but it's not as bad.
Anyway, now she goes to
rehearsal all the time.
Even, oh yeah, on the weekend.
Crazy?
I think so.
This is put a nasty kink
in our leisure time.
sighs You just don't realize how much you're
gonna miss someone until they're gone.
For instance, we found out that having
hamburgers isn't nearly as much fun
without Tish there to give us a
hard time about eating meat.
Also, Tish usually reads the reviews so
we can decide what movie to see.
Without her, we accidentally saw a movie
about escalators.
Stair Wars
Man, you really gotta read those titles
closely.
There's no question about it.
Being Tish-less stinks.
But we're gonna talk to her about it today.
I recall a production of,
um, 'Time in the Athens.'
Yes, this was back in my days with the RSC.
You were in the Royal Shakespeare Company?
Red Bank Shakespeare Company.
Nice little theater, used to be a fish
cannery.
80 seats, proscenium stage,
slight aroma in the summer.
Tish?
Yeah, oh, it's you.
Hey, Tish.
Come on, please come hang with us.
I'm so very sorry that I'm going
to hang with my new friends.
Again?
Tish, those actor guys are
way too old to be your friends.
Age has nothing to do with it.
They are artistes.
They share my love of the theatre,
unlike, some people I could mention.
Meaning you guys.
All right.
I see.
Yup!
Now, if you don't mind,
I'm going to join my new
sophisticated friends for
some sophisticated fun.
Aw yeah, come on!
You know, I'm going to go grab a Chug-a-Freeze.
Who wants one?
I'll take one!
Me?
Me?
Three Chug-a-Freezes comin' up.
Four!!
Now, who said.. ?
Oh! I, I uh didn't know you were here, um..
Tish!
Right.
Right, Trish.
Okay.
Four Chug-a-Freezes.
Dude, those guys are not her friends.
Well, duh, but she can't see that.
Yeah.
She's so happy to be hanging with a bunch
of artistes that she doesn't even notice
they don't notice her.
We got to help her.
What do you think, Tino?
You're the Plan Man.
Why do I always have to
come up with the plans?
'Cause you're the only one who's
willing to ask your mother for advice!
Well, obviously Tish
is getting something from
those people that she
doesn't get from you guys.
Oh, yeah.
She's getting ignored.
Yeah, but didn't you ignore her interest in theatre?
Nooo.
We mocked it.
It's a completely different thing.
Okay, is this tofu or eggs?
It's an organic chicken lumpette.
Don't change the subject.
Tino, sooner or later, Tish will realize
that you guys are her real friends.
Until then, all you can do
is be supportive and wait.
Ahh, thanks, Mom.
Um, if I held up a picture of a chicken,
could you point out where the lumpette is?
Mmm, I could, but you wouldn't like it.
What's up with the black armband?
I'm, mourning the loss of Tish.
You want one?
Not really my color.
I'm an Autumn.
Well, at least after her play opens tomorrow,
she won't be rehearsing all the time.
Yeah, but what if she does another play?
And then another.
And then she becomes a big star.
And the only way we can see
her is to go to her movies.
And then we sit there in the dark,
and cry our lonely eyes out.
Wow. You've put some
serious work into that scenario.
I have a lot of free time.
Guys, we have to get Tish away
from these fake new friends of hers!
Just checking: are we doing
this for her, or for us?
Her! / Us?
Us? / Her?
Ah heh..
It doesn't matter.
We have to get Tish back before this play
opens or we might lose her forever.
Well, my mom said we should
be supportive and wait.
Boring!
I have a better idea.
They're gonna have a big cast party
tomorrow night after the show.
I say we lure her away from that
with a special Tish-oriented party.
It's brilliant.
We'll gather together
everything Tish loves.
She will be powerless to resist.
No.
Come on, we've got a six-hour
video of Masters of the Dulcimer.
We're preparing a gourmet vegetarian meal.
And we even have, that icky, beet soda you like.
The cast party is where
we of the theatre gather
to bask in the glory of
that which we have created.
And eat those little sandwiches
with the cream cheese.
I'd rather shave my head than miss it.
Okay, you can come watch Masters of
the Dulcimer AND shave your head.
That's our final offer.
Huh!
You just don't understand, do you?
These are my people.
Let's finish those warm-ups, cast.
Oh okay.
Your people scare me.
scoffs There's nothing wrong with these
guys that years of therapy wouldn't fix.
That kind of snide joke about
the theatre is exactly
why I don't want to hang
out with you anymore.
You have no respect
for my artistic ness.
Good day to you!
I know, I know.
My bad.
Tish?
Go away.
Well, I just want to say, break a leg
tomorrow night.
We'll be out there watching.
Okay.
Well, uh, later days.
Is it a good idea to sit so close?
Tish might see us sleeping.
Oh, it's okay.
I brought sunglasses to hide our eyes.
Hello, familiar peoples!
Too proud are we on this night of to-day!
Hey there, Mr. and Mrs. Katsufrakis.
Our little girl child is star of the odour.
Star of the odour?
The "odour"! Is place with stage!
Ohh, "theater".
Is what I say!
These are for you.
Thank you.
Did you get a muffin basket from Carl?
Yes.
Wasn't that nice?
He gave 'em to everyone.
He didn't give me one.
Well, he gave them to everyone in the cast.
Buh, I'm in the cast!
I'm a fairy: I'm Peaseblossom the Fairy.
I'm, sure he just forgot.. ?
Ohh, thank y - !!
Ohhh, here to apologize?
Here for a mop.
Have you seen one?
scoffs That does it.
Carl, I can't go on tonight.
I'm quitting the show.
You're in the show?
I'm Peaseblossom.
Peaseblossom the Fairy.. !
Right, right.
Well, um, you know what?
Peaseblossom only has five
words in the script.
And we've already cut four of them.
I, uh
I dunno
I guess we can have someone else say your word.
Too bad, really.
Maybe next time, 'kay?
Are you Tish?
Are you Tish Ka..
Uh, are you Tish?
Yeah.
Flowers for you:
from Tino, Carver, and Lor.
Your fiends.
They probably meant friends.
My friends.
You know what, Carl?
I am going on tonight.
But not for you.
I got friends out there, real friends.
And they expect me to go out
there and say my one word!
I've worked hard on this.
Tonight is my night.
Hm? Ohh, yeah, yeah, whatever.
That'll work too, kiddo.
Hey, have you seen a bigger mop?
Our Hermia got a case of stage fright all
over her dressing room floor.
So, we were totally wrong about the play.
I don't know if you've ever
seen A Midsummer Night's Dream.
But it was pretty cool.
And a lot of it was really funny.
And this one guy named
Bottom, he got turned into
a doggy, and then this
queen fell in love with him, and..
Oh, you gotta see it.
And best of all, even though she only got
to say one word, Tish was really good.
Your name, honest gentleman?
Peaseblossom.
Little sweet bean!
The "odour" makes me so happy.
Thank you.
I'll see you at home, okay?
Okay, Tishy.
Pride and happiness fills us!
I never knew the "odour" could be so beautiful
Hey, I'm glad you came.
Tish, oh my gosh, it was so good!
And you were the best fairy.
Much better than that guy who played Mustard Seed.
Oh, yeah! It was totally great.
I laughed so hard I spit up a little.. !
I never thought I'd say this, but Shakespeare rocks.
And you'll rock, even more.. rockier~
Aww, thanks guys.
Well, um, we'll let you go to your cast
party now.
Come on, Trish~
Uh, actually
Nice break~!
Way to go, Peaseblossom~!
So, this weekend, Tish learned
those actors aren't her real friends.
And we learned how to really act like her
friends.
Okay, I know that was super
dorky, but I spent like an hour
figuring out that sentence and
no way was I gonna waste it.
So now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go get
my tail kicked in pool.
Later days!
Hey, Tino here.
Hanging on the big tree.
Okay.
Take a quick look around
and tell me what one thing is
wrong with this otherwise
delightful Friday evening.
That's right.
No Tish.
This is gonna be our third straight
weekend as a Tish-free zone.
You know whose fault it is?
Shakespeare's.
It all started Friday before last.
Tish tried out for this Shakespeare thing
at the theater in Bahia Park.
Oh, excellent, bravo.
That was such an organic choice.
You'll be a perfect Peaseblossom.
Peaseblossom, the fairy?!
Yes.
Go Fish.
We're playing Crazy Eights.
You guys, you won't believe it.
I'm in.
I'm in.
The Shakespeare thing?
Yeah, 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'
I am gonna be one of the fairies.
That Shakespeare stuff is so boring!
I know.
It's all like guys in tights talkin' weird.
Like, ooh, Tino~!
Wherefore art thou, thee, thou thee, Tino?
And whenforth will this thing ever endeth?
Okay, so we weren't all that.. supportive.
But we didn't make fun of her.
We just made fun of stuff that's important
to her.
Well, yeah, it's bad, but it's not as bad.
Anyway, now she goes to
rehearsal all the time.
Even, oh yeah, on the weekend.
Crazy?
I think so.
This is put a nasty kink
in our leisure time.
sighs You just don't realize how much you're
gonna miss someone until they're gone.
For instance, we found out that having
hamburgers isn't nearly as much fun
without Tish there to give us a
hard time about eating meat.
Also, Tish usually reads the reviews so
we can decide what movie to see.
Without her, we accidentally saw a movie
about escalators.
Stair Wars
Man, you really gotta read those titles
closely.
There's no question about it.
Being Tish-less stinks.
But we're gonna talk to her about it today.
I recall a production of,
um, 'Time in the Athens.'
Yes, this was back in my days with the RSC.
You were in the Royal Shakespeare Company?
Red Bank Shakespeare Company.
Nice little theater, used to be a fish
cannery.
80 seats, proscenium stage,
slight aroma in the summer.
Tish?
Yeah, oh, it's you.
Hey, Tish.
Come on, please come hang with us.
I'm so very sorry that I'm going
to hang with my new friends.
Again?
Tish, those actor guys are
way too old to be your friends.
Age has nothing to do with it.
They are artistes.
They share my love of the theatre,
unlike, some people I could mention.
Meaning you guys.
All right.
I see.
Yup!
Now, if you don't mind,
I'm going to join my new
sophisticated friends for
some sophisticated fun.
Aw yeah, come on!
You know, I'm going to go grab a Chug-a-Freeze.
Who wants one?
I'll take one!
Me?
Me?
Three Chug-a-Freezes comin' up.
Four!!
Now, who said.. ?
Oh! I, I uh didn't know you were here, um..
Tish!
Right.
Right, Trish.
Okay.
Four Chug-a-Freezes.
Dude, those guys are not her friends.
Well, duh, but she can't see that.
Yeah.
She's so happy to be hanging with a bunch
of artistes that she doesn't even notice
they don't notice her.
We got to help her.
What do you think, Tino?
You're the Plan Man.
Why do I always have to
come up with the plans?
'Cause you're the only one who's
willing to ask your mother for advice!
Well, obviously Tish
is getting something from
those people that she
doesn't get from you guys.
Oh, yeah.
She's getting ignored.
Yeah, but didn't you ignore her interest in theatre?
Nooo.
We mocked it.
It's a completely different thing.
Okay, is this tofu or eggs?
It's an organic chicken lumpette.
Don't change the subject.
Tino, sooner or later, Tish will realize
that you guys are her real friends.
Until then, all you can do
is be supportive and wait.
Ahh, thanks, Mom.
Um, if I held up a picture of a chicken,
could you point out where the lumpette is?
Mmm, I could, but you wouldn't like it.
What's up with the black armband?
I'm, mourning the loss of Tish.
You want one?
Not really my color.
I'm an Autumn.
Well, at least after her play opens tomorrow,
she won't be rehearsing all the time.
Yeah, but what if she does another play?
And then another.
And then she becomes a big star.
And the only way we can see
her is to go to her movies.
And then we sit there in the dark,
and cry our lonely eyes out.
Wow. You've put some
serious work into that scenario.
I have a lot of free time.
Guys, we have to get Tish away
from these fake new friends of hers!
Just checking: are we doing
this for her, or for us?
Her! / Us?
Us? / Her?
Ah heh..
It doesn't matter.
We have to get Tish back before this play
opens or we might lose her forever.
Well, my mom said we should
be supportive and wait.
Boring!
I have a better idea.
They're gonna have a big cast party
tomorrow night after the show.
I say we lure her away from that
with a special Tish-oriented party.
It's brilliant.
We'll gather together
everything Tish loves.
She will be powerless to resist.
No.
Come on, we've got a six-hour
video of Masters of the Dulcimer.
We're preparing a gourmet vegetarian meal.
And we even have, that icky, beet soda you like.
The cast party is where
we of the theatre gather
to bask in the glory of
that which we have created.
And eat those little sandwiches
with the cream cheese.
I'd rather shave my head than miss it.
Okay, you can come watch Masters of
the Dulcimer AND shave your head.
That's our final offer.
Huh!
You just don't understand, do you?
These are my people.
Let's finish those warm-ups, cast.
Oh okay.
Your people scare me.
scoffs There's nothing wrong with these
guys that years of therapy wouldn't fix.
That kind of snide joke about
the theatre is exactly
why I don't want to hang
out with you anymore.
You have no respect
for my artistic ness.
Good day to you!
I know, I know.
My bad.
Tish?
Go away.
Well, I just want to say, break a leg
tomorrow night.
We'll be out there watching.
Okay.
Well, uh, later days.
Is it a good idea to sit so close?
Tish might see us sleeping.
Oh, it's okay.
I brought sunglasses to hide our eyes.
Hello, familiar peoples!
Too proud are we on this night of to-day!
Hey there, Mr. and Mrs. Katsufrakis.
Our little girl child is star of the odour.
Star of the odour?
The "odour"! Is place with stage!
Ohh, "theater".
Is what I say!
These are for you.
Thank you.
Did you get a muffin basket from Carl?
Yes.
Wasn't that nice?
He gave 'em to everyone.
He didn't give me one.
Well, he gave them to everyone in the cast.
Buh, I'm in the cast!
I'm a fairy: I'm Peaseblossom the Fairy.
I'm, sure he just forgot.. ?
Ohh, thank y - !!
Ohhh, here to apologize?
Here for a mop.
Have you seen one?
scoffs That does it.
Carl, I can't go on tonight.
I'm quitting the show.
You're in the show?
I'm Peaseblossom.
Peaseblossom the Fairy.. !
Right, right.
Well, um, you know what?
Peaseblossom only has five
words in the script.
And we've already cut four of them.
I, uh
I dunno
I guess we can have someone else say your word.
Too bad, really.
Maybe next time, 'kay?
Are you Tish?
Are you Tish Ka..
Uh, are you Tish?
Yeah.
Flowers for you:
from Tino, Carver, and Lor.
Your fiends.
They probably meant friends.
My friends.
You know what, Carl?
I am going on tonight.
But not for you.
I got friends out there, real friends.
And they expect me to go out
there and say my one word!
I've worked hard on this.
Tonight is my night.
Hm? Ohh, yeah, yeah, whatever.
That'll work too, kiddo.
Hey, have you seen a bigger mop?
Our Hermia got a case of stage fright all
over her dressing room floor.
So, we were totally wrong about the play.
I don't know if you've ever
seen A Midsummer Night's Dream.
But it was pretty cool.
And a lot of it was really funny.
And this one guy named
Bottom, he got turned into
a doggy, and then this
queen fell in love with him, and..
Oh, you gotta see it.
And best of all, even though she only got
to say one word, Tish was really good.
Your name, honest gentleman?
Peaseblossom.
Little sweet bean!
The "odour" makes me so happy.
Thank you.
I'll see you at home, okay?
Okay, Tishy.
Pride and happiness fills us!
I never knew the "odour" could be so beautiful
Hey, I'm glad you came.
Tish, oh my gosh, it was so good!
And you were the best fairy.
Much better than that guy who played Mustard Seed.
Oh, yeah! It was totally great.
I laughed so hard I spit up a little.. !
I never thought I'd say this, but Shakespeare rocks.
And you'll rock, even more.. rockier~
Aww, thanks guys.
Well, um, we'll let you go to your cast
party now.
Come on, Trish~
Uh, actually
Nice break~!
Way to go, Peaseblossom~!
So, this weekend, Tish learned
those actors aren't her real friends.
And we learned how to really act like her
friends.
Okay, I know that was super
dorky, but I spent like an hour
figuring out that sentence and
no way was I gonna waste it.
So now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go get
my tail kicked in pool.
Later days!