The Weekenders (2000) s02e08 Episode Script
Crevasse of Dreams
Put food in fire, huh?
Good!
Cavemen and dinosaurs together?
This is so inaccurate.
Current scientific thought holds that the
dinosaurs died out millions of years
before even the most primitive proto-human.
Yeah, millions of years before pizza too.
Want me to bring you
a baked trilobite instead?
I withdraw my objection.
So, any idea what Tino is?
Guys, I just found the coolest place on
Earth?
I hope this is better than the time
you found that super cool "lake".
Yeah, puddle was more like it.
You guys are gonna love
this place, and the best part is
I'm the only one who
knows how to get there.
Lean in, lean in.
It's our own private mountain.
I'm gonna take you there tomorrow.
I can't remember when
I've been so excited.
Can it be real?
Pinch me.
I drift on clouds of joy.
Oh believe me, this is gonna be worth it.
Check this out.
Looks like a dead end, huh?
But you just squeeze through these rocks
here and, ow. And you're on your way!
Sorry about that.
Almost there.
All I can say is that
this had better be good!
Don't you worry about that.
Behold, what few human
eyes have ever seen.
The summit of the Tino Horn.
Oh, yeah, our own private mountain.
Good one, Tino.
Oh, hey, sorry I forgot about you.
So, I guess you just saw what happened.
I swear yesterday there was no one here,
really.
It's such a remote isolated spot.
I can't imagine how all
these people got up here.
But it's possible they drove.
Great, all the tables are taken.
Maybe Tino can find us a secret pool table
that nobody else knows about.
Okay, okay, so I was wrong about the
private mountain.
You guys are just jealous because I'm
practically always right.
Well, at least you could have brought us
up there the easy way.
How was I supposed to know
there was an easy way?
Well, that two-lane road
mighta been a clue.
Yeah, and the map they give out of the
park entrance.
Alright, me down, you kicking.
Acutac is popularly known as
[E-slur] ice cream, but this treat
from the Inuit people of
Alaska is neither ice nor cream.
In former times, it was made from seal oil
and reindeer tallow.
Thank goodness we don't live in former
times, huh?
Now, however, it is pure lard.
But just as in the past,
fresh berries provide flavour.
Oh, at least the berries are good.
So, where to now?
The beach is closed from that sewage
spill.
Is that why there was nobody there?
I thought it was because
it was Tino's own private ocean.
Ha!
Dude, you can spit that stuff out now.
We could see a movie?
Do you think there are still
lines for Star Pilots 5?
Hard to say.
Tino, do you have a what?
My own private movie theater?
Very funny.
No?
A newspaper?
You know, one time I'm wrong,
and you guys won't let me forget it.
What about all the times I was right about
some place being cool, huh?
Like the crevasse?
The what?
The crevasse?
You know that place I found when we were
like eight?
We used to hang out there all the time.
It was our favorite place.
Doesn't ring a bell.
Perhaps you're confusing us with your
imaginary friends.
She thinks I have imaginary friends.
Ha!
Come on, you guys remember?
The crevasse.
The crevasse.
It was the most beautiful place we've ever
seen.
A huge canyon with a waterfall at one end,
and a stream running down the middle.
They were deer and flowers, and no one was
ever there but us.
I remember now.
You do?
I knew you would.
Yeah, I remember it.
It wasn't that great.
What?
Wait.
Is this that little gully Tino always
wanted to go to?
The one with the funny smell?
What are you guys talking about?
The crevasse was one of the seven wonders
of the world.
Yeah, I remember that smell.
Kinda like earwax.
It was awesome.
We all loved it.
If it was so awesome,
how come we stopped going?
'Cause they opened the mall.
I mean, the beauty of nature is great,
but you can't get chili cheese fries.
Come on, I can't believe
you guys won't admit
that I was right about
how cool the crevasse was.
Because it wasn't that cool.
I mean, yeah, maybe it
was kinda nice, but --
It wasn't that nice.
You know what?
Maybe we should just drop it.
If Tino thinks it
was cool
I don't think it was cool,
it was cool!
And I'll prove that I'm right.
We're going there tomorrow.
But we were going to go
to the monster truck rally.
Oh, we could do that anytime.
We could.
If it weren't an annual event
that's only tomorrow.
Fine!
If you guys are too
chicken to come and find
out that I'm right, I'll
just go on my own.
Alright, we'll go.
Just to prove you're wrong.
I mean, Lor's the only one who
likes that monster truck stuff anyway.
Hey.
Excellent!
Tomorrow, the crevasse.
Okay, final inventory: compass,
flashlight, water bottles, first aid kit,
binoculars, rope, camp stove?
Check.
Mosquito netting, ice axe?
Look, is this really necessary?
Nature has no tolerance for mistakes.
I mean, this whole expedition.
Can't we all just say
that Tino is right,
and the crevasse is great,
and just leave it at that?
Tish, this isn't about
Tino being right or wrong.
'Cause he is wrong!
We're right.
Nuh-uh!
Yeah-huh!
Nuh-uh!
Alright, fine!
If we're going to fall to
this level of childishness,
we might as well get some
exercise while we're doin' it.
So.
Where are we heading?
Okay, these are our present coordinates.
That's a map of the whole country.
And you're pointing at Nebraska.
Never mind.
I know where we're going.
Come on.
Are you sure this is the way?
I remember there being a trail.
Of course it's the way.
Right over this ridge is a power station.
And then, there's that old water.. tower?
I guess maybe they decided people don't
need as much power as they thought.
Well, Tino, I don't see any water tower.
No power station.
No water tower.
We're definitely going the wrong way!
I vote we go back.
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Then you could keep on saying that
I was wrong about the crevasse.
I'm not saying you're wrong.
I'm saying we're lost.
Lor, Carver, what do you think?
I think I want to see the
look on Tino's face when
he finally sees his puny,
funny-smelling crevasse.
I want to settle this
thing once and for all.
Why is it so important
for you guys to be right?
Well, duh.
If it's not important to be
right, why do they grade tests?
That's different.
A test --
I don't think the important thing is us being right.
It's Tino being wrong.
Can we at least stop for lunch?
I'm starving, and my feet hurt!
Okay.
Carver, break out
the sandwiches.
Uh
Sandwiches?
Good going, Tino.
We brought an ice axe,
but no lunch?
It's not my fault.
I told Carver to pack sandwiches!
It was on the list.
If you guys want me, I'll be
over here eating the flashlight.
Behold the glory, that is
the crevasse.
Uh-huh.
On our planet, we call that a golf course.
Okay.
All over.
Now, can we go back?
Yeah.
Let's go.
Oh, I see.
Now that you know we're close,
you realize that I'm right after all, huh?
So, you want to turn back?
Well, you won't get
off the hook that easy!
We're goin' all the way.
We're gonna prove I'm right.
Victory shall be mine!
Forget it, Tino.
We're lost.
We're going home.
Okay, fine.
Go home.
You don't deserve to see the crevasse.
But you know I'm right!
You know I'm right.. !
Hurricane lamp,
geiger counter
Sandwiches?
Oh, man.
Sandwiches are on the list!
I just forgot to pack them.
Tino was right.
Hang on.
Wait, there.
You just said Tino was right.
So?
Well, did it kill you?
No.
So, what's the big deal
about being right or wrong?
On tests --
So, what if they grade you on tests?
If we were taking a friendship test right
now, we'd get an F minus.
F is technically the lowest you can --
Don't care!
Not the point!
We just ditched our friend up on that ridge.
And why?
Because we're lost, tired, and hungry.
Well, yeah.
But we wouldn't be lost
and tired, and hungry
if everyone weren't
so afraid to be wrong!
I say we give up being right and wrong,
and go get our friend back.
Who's with me?
What candy bar?
I didn't find a candy bar!
And if I did, it was stale.
Tino?
Guys, you have to see it.
Wait, T.
We want to apologize.
We don't really want to.
Lor
But we're gonna!
We're gonna.
We're sorry we fought
with you about the crevasse.
Well, you should be, because --
We realized our friendship is way more
important than who's right and who's wrong.
Can we just forget this whole crevasse
thing and be friends again, T?
Oh, uh, well
Yeah, I guess it doesn't
matter who's right.
What matters is:
we're friends.
There.
Now, doesn't that feel better?
Come on.
What do you say we get in a few games of
pool before the weekend's over?
Absolutely.
Sounds good.
Okay, so getting all worked up about being
right is a good way to wreck a friendship.
I mean, is it really such
a big deal to be wrong?
Answer?
No.
Anyway, that's why
Well, I don't want to look like I'm trying
to prove I'm right, so I can't tell the guys.
Come on.
It'd ruin everything if they found
out I was right the whole time.
Later days!
Good!
Cavemen and dinosaurs together?
This is so inaccurate.
Current scientific thought holds that the
dinosaurs died out millions of years
before even the most primitive proto-human.
Yeah, millions of years before pizza too.
Want me to bring you
a baked trilobite instead?
I withdraw my objection.
So, any idea what Tino is?
Guys, I just found the coolest place on
Earth?
I hope this is better than the time
you found that super cool "lake".
Yeah, puddle was more like it.
You guys are gonna love
this place, and the best part is
I'm the only one who
knows how to get there.
Lean in, lean in.
It's our own private mountain.
I'm gonna take you there tomorrow.
I can't remember when
I've been so excited.
Can it be real?
Pinch me.
I drift on clouds of joy.
Oh believe me, this is gonna be worth it.
Check this out.
Looks like a dead end, huh?
But you just squeeze through these rocks
here and, ow. And you're on your way!
Sorry about that.
Almost there.
All I can say is that
this had better be good!
Don't you worry about that.
Behold, what few human
eyes have ever seen.
The summit of the Tino Horn.
Oh, yeah, our own private mountain.
Good one, Tino.
Oh, hey, sorry I forgot about you.
So, I guess you just saw what happened.
I swear yesterday there was no one here,
really.
It's such a remote isolated spot.
I can't imagine how all
these people got up here.
But it's possible they drove.
Great, all the tables are taken.
Maybe Tino can find us a secret pool table
that nobody else knows about.
Okay, okay, so I was wrong about the
private mountain.
You guys are just jealous because I'm
practically always right.
Well, at least you could have brought us
up there the easy way.
How was I supposed to know
there was an easy way?
Well, that two-lane road
mighta been a clue.
Yeah, and the map they give out of the
park entrance.
Alright, me down, you kicking.
Acutac is popularly known as
[E-slur] ice cream, but this treat
from the Inuit people of
Alaska is neither ice nor cream.
In former times, it was made from seal oil
and reindeer tallow.
Thank goodness we don't live in former
times, huh?
Now, however, it is pure lard.
But just as in the past,
fresh berries provide flavour.
Oh, at least the berries are good.
So, where to now?
The beach is closed from that sewage
spill.
Is that why there was nobody there?
I thought it was because
it was Tino's own private ocean.
Ha!
Dude, you can spit that stuff out now.
We could see a movie?
Do you think there are still
lines for Star Pilots 5?
Hard to say.
Tino, do you have a what?
My own private movie theater?
Very funny.
No?
A newspaper?
You know, one time I'm wrong,
and you guys won't let me forget it.
What about all the times I was right about
some place being cool, huh?
Like the crevasse?
The what?
The crevasse?
You know that place I found when we were
like eight?
We used to hang out there all the time.
It was our favorite place.
Doesn't ring a bell.
Perhaps you're confusing us with your
imaginary friends.
She thinks I have imaginary friends.
Ha!
Come on, you guys remember?
The crevasse.
The crevasse.
It was the most beautiful place we've ever
seen.
A huge canyon with a waterfall at one end,
and a stream running down the middle.
They were deer and flowers, and no one was
ever there but us.
I remember now.
You do?
I knew you would.
Yeah, I remember it.
It wasn't that great.
What?
Wait.
Is this that little gully Tino always
wanted to go to?
The one with the funny smell?
What are you guys talking about?
The crevasse was one of the seven wonders
of the world.
Yeah, I remember that smell.
Kinda like earwax.
It was awesome.
We all loved it.
If it was so awesome,
how come we stopped going?
'Cause they opened the mall.
I mean, the beauty of nature is great,
but you can't get chili cheese fries.
Come on, I can't believe
you guys won't admit
that I was right about
how cool the crevasse was.
Because it wasn't that cool.
I mean, yeah, maybe it
was kinda nice, but --
It wasn't that nice.
You know what?
Maybe we should just drop it.
If Tino thinks it
was cool
I don't think it was cool,
it was cool!
And I'll prove that I'm right.
We're going there tomorrow.
But we were going to go
to the monster truck rally.
Oh, we could do that anytime.
We could.
If it weren't an annual event
that's only tomorrow.
Fine!
If you guys are too
chicken to come and find
out that I'm right, I'll
just go on my own.
Alright, we'll go.
Just to prove you're wrong.
I mean, Lor's the only one who
likes that monster truck stuff anyway.
Hey.
Excellent!
Tomorrow, the crevasse.
Okay, final inventory: compass,
flashlight, water bottles, first aid kit,
binoculars, rope, camp stove?
Check.
Mosquito netting, ice axe?
Look, is this really necessary?
Nature has no tolerance for mistakes.
I mean, this whole expedition.
Can't we all just say
that Tino is right,
and the crevasse is great,
and just leave it at that?
Tish, this isn't about
Tino being right or wrong.
'Cause he is wrong!
We're right.
Nuh-uh!
Yeah-huh!
Nuh-uh!
Alright, fine!
If we're going to fall to
this level of childishness,
we might as well get some
exercise while we're doin' it.
So.
Where are we heading?
Okay, these are our present coordinates.
That's a map of the whole country.
And you're pointing at Nebraska.
Never mind.
I know where we're going.
Come on.
Are you sure this is the way?
I remember there being a trail.
Of course it's the way.
Right over this ridge is a power station.
And then, there's that old water.. tower?
I guess maybe they decided people don't
need as much power as they thought.
Well, Tino, I don't see any water tower.
No power station.
No water tower.
We're definitely going the wrong way!
I vote we go back.
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Then you could keep on saying that
I was wrong about the crevasse.
I'm not saying you're wrong.
I'm saying we're lost.
Lor, Carver, what do you think?
I think I want to see the
look on Tino's face when
he finally sees his puny,
funny-smelling crevasse.
I want to settle this
thing once and for all.
Why is it so important
for you guys to be right?
Well, duh.
If it's not important to be
right, why do they grade tests?
That's different.
A test --
I don't think the important thing is us being right.
It's Tino being wrong.
Can we at least stop for lunch?
I'm starving, and my feet hurt!
Okay.
Carver, break out
the sandwiches.
Uh
Sandwiches?
Good going, Tino.
We brought an ice axe,
but no lunch?
It's not my fault.
I told Carver to pack sandwiches!
It was on the list.
If you guys want me, I'll be
over here eating the flashlight.
Behold the glory, that is
the crevasse.
Uh-huh.
On our planet, we call that a golf course.
Okay.
All over.
Now, can we go back?
Yeah.
Let's go.
Oh, I see.
Now that you know we're close,
you realize that I'm right after all, huh?
So, you want to turn back?
Well, you won't get
off the hook that easy!
We're goin' all the way.
We're gonna prove I'm right.
Victory shall be mine!
Forget it, Tino.
We're lost.
We're going home.
Okay, fine.
Go home.
You don't deserve to see the crevasse.
But you know I'm right!
You know I'm right.. !
Hurricane lamp,
geiger counter
Sandwiches?
Oh, man.
Sandwiches are on the list!
I just forgot to pack them.
Tino was right.
Hang on.
Wait, there.
You just said Tino was right.
So?
Well, did it kill you?
No.
So, what's the big deal
about being right or wrong?
On tests --
So, what if they grade you on tests?
If we were taking a friendship test right
now, we'd get an F minus.
F is technically the lowest you can --
Don't care!
Not the point!
We just ditched our friend up on that ridge.
And why?
Because we're lost, tired, and hungry.
Well, yeah.
But we wouldn't be lost
and tired, and hungry
if everyone weren't
so afraid to be wrong!
I say we give up being right and wrong,
and go get our friend back.
Who's with me?
What candy bar?
I didn't find a candy bar!
And if I did, it was stale.
Tino?
Guys, you have to see it.
Wait, T.
We want to apologize.
We don't really want to.
Lor
But we're gonna!
We're gonna.
We're sorry we fought
with you about the crevasse.
Well, you should be, because --
We realized our friendship is way more
important than who's right and who's wrong.
Can we just forget this whole crevasse
thing and be friends again, T?
Oh, uh, well
Yeah, I guess it doesn't
matter who's right.
What matters is:
we're friends.
There.
Now, doesn't that feel better?
Come on.
What do you say we get in a few games of
pool before the weekend's over?
Absolutely.
Sounds good.
Okay, so getting all worked up about being
right is a good way to wreck a friendship.
I mean, is it really such
a big deal to be wrong?
Answer?
No.
Anyway, that's why
Well, I don't want to look like I'm trying
to prove I'm right, so I can't tell the guys.
Come on.
It'd ruin everything if they found
out I was right the whole time.
Later days!