The Weekenders (2000) s02e11 Episode Script
Taking Sides
Me and Carver are playing like our one
zillionth pool game against Laird and Hiro.
And congratulations, you're just in time
to see Carver blow it like he always does.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be
amazed.
Eight ball off that pillar, the ceiling,
a ricochet off Motorcycle Space Avenger,
and bam, corner pocket.
Shoot, this guy
Okay, I guess that'd be a scratch.
Yes!
And for the 18th time in a row,
we have the honour of going
home with the Golden Can.
It's just an old coffee can painted gold.
Hark!
Do I hear the whining of a loser?
Oh, well, maybe next time.
Maybe next time?
We coulda won!
Why do you always have to show off?
Chill out, T.
What's the fun if you never take any risks?
You just take risks
because you want attention.
At least I'm not afraid of my own shadow.
Well, at least I'm not a show-off!
At least I'm not a, a, a
A wimp!
Wimp
Wimp
Wimp
Well, this wimp is through
being your friend.
My bad side.
Um, not really good at dramatic exits.
I just can't believe Tino would turn on me
like that.
After all we've been through.
You are totally overreacting, Carv'.
Ah.. ha!
I see the cat is out of the canary.
Tino --
I know what's going on here.
You're taking Carver's side.
But, I --
Save your breath.
If you'll excuse me, I'm
going to see my real friend, Tish.
You may bill me for the bucket.
Oh, man.
I gotta get to Tish
before he contaminates her!
The fate of the universe is at stake.
Right.
If you need me, I'll be here.
In the real world.
Good evening, Madam.
What brings you to the French Riviera?
Tish.
I'm not playing dress-up.
Tino is evil.
This is a science project.
You can't be friends with Carver anymore.
I can explain the lipstick.
Wait.
What'd you say?
Nothing.
Forget it.
It was a. haiku!
Carver is a treacherous monster!
No.
Tino is.
I see, you're mad at each other.
So now I'm Poland,
to your Germany and Russia.
Huh?
See ya,
bye-bye.
You guys can go
work this out for yourselves.
Hey, are you wearing lipstick?
Make no mistake.
She will be mine.
Excellent, superb!
Tish, this is your finest work.
The Car Cariascuro
really extends the three-dimensionality of
the composition.
Yeah, and the use of impa impa
What's that word?
Um, I think it's
Hey, quit peekin' at my cheat cards!
I bet you need clean brushes,
and I'm just the man for the job.
In fifth grade, I was voted
most likely to clean brushes.
Let go.
I'm gonna do it.
No, you let go.
On the plus side, I think
your painting kinda looks better now.
Get! Out!
It does look better
Alright, kids.
The ball is the Titanic,
and you are the iceberg.
Sink it!
Sink it!
Sink it!
Go Lor!
What the heck?
Awooooo!
Lor's the bomb!
Who rocks?
That's right.
It's Lor~
One, two, three, four.
Everybody scream for Lor!
Awoooo!
Okay.
When did the world go nuts?
About 10:30.
6, 7, 8! Lor is
absolutely great, MacQuarrie!
MacQuarrie!
Goooooo.. Lor!
Descartes!
May I please see the form authorizing you
to wear the official possum costume?
Uh. I musta left it in my other possum.
Tino is evil !
No, no!
Carver's evil!
Dude, I can't stand much
more of those guys trying
to get us to take sides
in their dumb little fight.
If only there were somewhere
we could get away from 'em.
Yeah, a place boys would never go.
A chick flick!
Ahhh, at last.
A boy-free zone.
No more mega macho competition.
I don't even know why those guys are
fighting.
It'd be so easy for them to settle it.
Totally.
Carver just has to
tell Tino he's sorry,
and it's all over.
Yeaahah, excuse me, Tino's
the one who started the whole thing.
What?
Obviously the fight started
'cause Tino insulted Carver.
It sounds like this
Carver's getting a raw deal.
And this is your
business because
She's entitled to her opinion.
But if Carver insulted what's his name,
he's the one who's being a jerk!
How dare you call Carver a jerk!
If he was a jerk, it's what's-his-name!
Um, is this food all white?
Or have I gone colourblind?
It's tofu loaf
with tofu fries and tofu slaw.
Very high protein, no trans fatty acids.
Needs a little tofu ketchup.
Right.
There was a sale on tofu.
Sorry I ruined your day.
It's not the food.
Well, it's not just the food.
It's me and Carver.
You guys get into a fight?
Yeah.
And --
And you tried to get Lor and Tish
to take your side, so now they won't talk to you.
You totally promised you'd stop reading my
mind.
I can't help it.
It's a Mom thing.
Tino, it isn't fair to ask your friends to
choose sides in your fight.
You should have more
respect for them than that.
And you could wind up getting them mad
at each other over a fight you had.
I guess so.
Hey, how did you handle it when you and
dad got divorced?
I kept the friends and your dad kept the
toaster.
Well, you definitely got the better end of
that deal.
I don't know.
It was a pretty nice toaster.
" which is why
Carver is evil."
And send!
Oh, man.
I gotta take Carver off my desktop screen.
Huh-uh!?
Your mom let me in.
Lor! how long have you been here?
What did you see?
Was I drilling in my sleep?
I just came to tell you,
Tish is evil.
You what?
Yeah, we can't be
friends with her, anymore.
She took Carver's side in your fight, when
it's totally obvious he was being a jerk.
You're ditching Tish just because of some
little fight?
It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
But, that's what happened
with you and Carver.
Yeah, but why should you be mad at each
other over a fight we had?
This is exactly what
my mom said could happen.
Don't tell her she was right, okay?
She will totally rub it in.
Man, I gotta figure out a way to fix this.
Hey, Lor.
What if Carver and I
were friends again?
That'd be different.
I --
Well, we are.
Yeah, everything's cool
between me and Carver now.
You're not fighting anymore?
Nah.
How could I stay mad at my best friend?
So, if I can make up with Carver,
you can make up with Tish, right?
Well, I guess so.
Sure, you can.
You're right.
Thanks, Tino.
Dude, I told Carver
I was taking your side.
I gotta go tell him
we can all be friends again.
Great!
I'll see ya.
I have to get to Carver before she finds
out I lied.
This looks like a job for
the "Tino-cycle".
Turbo thrusters, engage.
I know we're not talking, but Lor's mad at
Tish, so I told her we were friends again.
I told Tish the same thing.
She just went to apologize to Lor.
You told Tish that we
Well, I see.
That's good then.
Look, Tino, if we fake
made up for Lor and Tish,
does that mean we can
real make up for you 'n me?
That sentence could use some work.
I was in a hurry.
Friends again?
Of course.
So you gonna tell me why you're in your
pajamas?
I'd really rather not.
So, I guess we all realized you should
never make your friends choose sides.
Oh, and Carver and I had
a little rematch with Laird and Hiro?
Check out my new desktop screen?
Yeah ha ha!
Later days!
zillionth pool game against Laird and Hiro.
And congratulations, you're just in time
to see Carver blow it like he always does.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be
amazed.
Eight ball off that pillar, the ceiling,
a ricochet off Motorcycle Space Avenger,
and bam, corner pocket.
Shoot, this guy
Okay, I guess that'd be a scratch.
Yes!
And for the 18th time in a row,
we have the honour of going
home with the Golden Can.
It's just an old coffee can painted gold.
Hark!
Do I hear the whining of a loser?
Oh, well, maybe next time.
Maybe next time?
We coulda won!
Why do you always have to show off?
Chill out, T.
What's the fun if you never take any risks?
You just take risks
because you want attention.
At least I'm not afraid of my own shadow.
Well, at least I'm not a show-off!
At least I'm not a, a, a
A wimp!
Wimp
Wimp
Wimp
Well, this wimp is through
being your friend.
My bad side.
Um, not really good at dramatic exits.
I just can't believe Tino would turn on me
like that.
After all we've been through.
You are totally overreacting, Carv'.
Ah.. ha!
I see the cat is out of the canary.
Tino --
I know what's going on here.
You're taking Carver's side.
But, I --
Save your breath.
If you'll excuse me, I'm
going to see my real friend, Tish.
You may bill me for the bucket.
Oh, man.
I gotta get to Tish
before he contaminates her!
The fate of the universe is at stake.
Right.
If you need me, I'll be here.
In the real world.
Good evening, Madam.
What brings you to the French Riviera?
Tish.
I'm not playing dress-up.
Tino is evil.
This is a science project.
You can't be friends with Carver anymore.
I can explain the lipstick.
Wait.
What'd you say?
Nothing.
Forget it.
It was a. haiku!
Carver is a treacherous monster!
No.
Tino is.
I see, you're mad at each other.
So now I'm Poland,
to your Germany and Russia.
Huh?
See ya,
bye-bye.
You guys can go
work this out for yourselves.
Hey, are you wearing lipstick?
Make no mistake.
She will be mine.
Excellent, superb!
Tish, this is your finest work.
The Car Cariascuro
really extends the three-dimensionality of
the composition.
Yeah, and the use of impa impa
What's that word?
Um, I think it's
Hey, quit peekin' at my cheat cards!
I bet you need clean brushes,
and I'm just the man for the job.
In fifth grade, I was voted
most likely to clean brushes.
Let go.
I'm gonna do it.
No, you let go.
On the plus side, I think
your painting kinda looks better now.
Get! Out!
It does look better
Alright, kids.
The ball is the Titanic,
and you are the iceberg.
Sink it!
Sink it!
Sink it!
Go Lor!
What the heck?
Awooooo!
Lor's the bomb!
Who rocks?
That's right.
It's Lor~
One, two, three, four.
Everybody scream for Lor!
Awoooo!
Okay.
When did the world go nuts?
About 10:30.
6, 7, 8! Lor is
absolutely great, MacQuarrie!
MacQuarrie!
Goooooo.. Lor!
Descartes!
May I please see the form authorizing you
to wear the official possum costume?
Uh. I musta left it in my other possum.
Tino is evil !
No, no!
Carver's evil!
Dude, I can't stand much
more of those guys trying
to get us to take sides
in their dumb little fight.
If only there were somewhere
we could get away from 'em.
Yeah, a place boys would never go.
A chick flick!
Ahhh, at last.
A boy-free zone.
No more mega macho competition.
I don't even know why those guys are
fighting.
It'd be so easy for them to settle it.
Totally.
Carver just has to
tell Tino he's sorry,
and it's all over.
Yeaahah, excuse me, Tino's
the one who started the whole thing.
What?
Obviously the fight started
'cause Tino insulted Carver.
It sounds like this
Carver's getting a raw deal.
And this is your
business because
She's entitled to her opinion.
But if Carver insulted what's his name,
he's the one who's being a jerk!
How dare you call Carver a jerk!
If he was a jerk, it's what's-his-name!
Um, is this food all white?
Or have I gone colourblind?
It's tofu loaf
with tofu fries and tofu slaw.
Very high protein, no trans fatty acids.
Needs a little tofu ketchup.
Right.
There was a sale on tofu.
Sorry I ruined your day.
It's not the food.
Well, it's not just the food.
It's me and Carver.
You guys get into a fight?
Yeah.
And --
And you tried to get Lor and Tish
to take your side, so now they won't talk to you.
You totally promised you'd stop reading my
mind.
I can't help it.
It's a Mom thing.
Tino, it isn't fair to ask your friends to
choose sides in your fight.
You should have more
respect for them than that.
And you could wind up getting them mad
at each other over a fight you had.
I guess so.
Hey, how did you handle it when you and
dad got divorced?
I kept the friends and your dad kept the
toaster.
Well, you definitely got the better end of
that deal.
I don't know.
It was a pretty nice toaster.
" which is why
Carver is evil."
And send!
Oh, man.
I gotta take Carver off my desktop screen.
Huh-uh!?
Your mom let me in.
Lor! how long have you been here?
What did you see?
Was I drilling in my sleep?
I just came to tell you,
Tish is evil.
You what?
Yeah, we can't be
friends with her, anymore.
She took Carver's side in your fight, when
it's totally obvious he was being a jerk.
You're ditching Tish just because of some
little fight?
It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
But, that's what happened
with you and Carver.
Yeah, but why should you be mad at each
other over a fight we had?
This is exactly what
my mom said could happen.
Don't tell her she was right, okay?
She will totally rub it in.
Man, I gotta figure out a way to fix this.
Hey, Lor.
What if Carver and I
were friends again?
That'd be different.
I --
Well, we are.
Yeah, everything's cool
between me and Carver now.
You're not fighting anymore?
Nah.
How could I stay mad at my best friend?
So, if I can make up with Carver,
you can make up with Tish, right?
Well, I guess so.
Sure, you can.
You're right.
Thanks, Tino.
Dude, I told Carver
I was taking your side.
I gotta go tell him
we can all be friends again.
Great!
I'll see ya.
I have to get to Carver before she finds
out I lied.
This looks like a job for
the "Tino-cycle".
Turbo thrusters, engage.
I know we're not talking, but Lor's mad at
Tish, so I told her we were friends again.
I told Tish the same thing.
She just went to apologize to Lor.
You told Tish that we
Well, I see.
That's good then.
Look, Tino, if we fake
made up for Lor and Tish,
does that mean we can
real make up for you 'n me?
That sentence could use some work.
I was in a hurry.
Friends again?
Of course.
So you gonna tell me why you're in your
pajamas?
I'd really rather not.
So, I guess we all realized you should
never make your friends choose sides.
Oh, and Carver and I had
a little rematch with Laird and Hiro?
Check out my new desktop screen?
Yeah ha ha!
Later days!