The Weekenders (2000) s02e21 Episode Script
Baskets for Bucks
Ooh. I win again.
Hey, Tino here.
So, life stinks.
And not just 'cause Tish keeps
beating me at Crazy Eights.
Mostly 'cause Tesla Park
just opened that new water ride,
"The Slides of March"
and we're too broke to try it.
Man, I wish we could get just
one slice of pizza.
Or play just one game of Moon Mania.
Yeah, and I wish we could go on that
Slides of March ride.
I hear it's so fast, it made Chloe
Montez toss her cookies three times!
Huh, you might as well
wish for an enchanted pony,
'cause we got
pockets full of squat!
You ought to bend your knees
more when you shoot.
Why?
I saw it in a commercial.
It makes the shoes look cooler.
Whoa, doesn't hurt your shot either.
Alright!
Way to go, Lor!
Wow.
Thanks, Carv'.
Like I always say, if you want to succeed,
start by looking good.
I win.
Okay, one more game of Crazy Eights,
and I'll be in a straitjacket!
Who wants to watch Scrabble Vision?
Oh, alright.
I guess.
Okay.
" it must be a radioactive monster "
I hate not having money.
" doom and "
" with a coconut!."
Are you sure we can't order pay per view?
Not unless they take my
mom's barley cookies in payment.
What is in these things?
Plaster?
Oh, look.
I think I saw a claw!
On the TV or in the cookies?
Hey, guys.
Hi, Mrs T!
Hey, Tino's mom!
Hi, Mrs Tonitini!
Why are you guys
eating my pot scrubbers?
They're made from organic greens,
so I guess they won't hurt you.
At least we'll be really clean inside.
Oh my gosh.
What time is it?
It's 5:55.
Why?
Baskets for Bucks!
I hope we're not too late.
"And now, the Baskets for Bucks Quiz!"
"The winner will get a chance
to go to Bahia Dome this Sunday,"
"and sink three baskets
for $10,000."
"Hey yowza!"
If we can answer the quiz question,
Lor'll sink those baskets for sure.
Uh I will?
"Hey yowza!"
"Who's ready to win $10,000?"
"The question is:
Who uttered the famous phrase,"
"'Winning isn't everything.
It's the only thing.'"
Mike Dica.
No, it was Vince Lombardi.
Mike Dica!
Vince Lombardi!
Red Sanders!
Tish !
What are you doing?
You don't know anything about sports.
"Red Sanders is correct!"
"Hey yowza~"
"You win the big chance
at Baskets for Bucks."
Yeah!
Alright!
Yeah!
Dude, I am in the zone.
I can't miss.
Lor, maybe some of that money should go to the guy
whose brilliant coaching helped you with your shot!
Wait.
Could that be me?
Of course, there'd be no Baskets for Bucks if
I hadn't answered that very tricky question.
Well, I, uh, I, I dialed the phone.
Relax, guys.
I know I couldn't have done it without you.
We'll split it four ways.
Yay!
Don't celebrate yet.
I still have to make those three shots.
Well, yeah, of course.
So why are Lor's chances of winning?
Three shots in a row.
She's good, but that's pretty tough.
I'd say roughly
one in a bazillion.
Okay, the odds are lousy,
but we have to be supportive.
So only say positive stuff, no matter
what.
Yeah, we don't want her to know we think
there's even a tiny chance that she'll fail.
Alright, Lor!
You can do it!
There isn't even a tiny chance you'll fail!
Well, I don't know.
I mean, it'll be pretty hard.
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
No way!
There is a zero percent likelihood of you
ever missing any shots ever!
Starting now.
Lor's the best.
We all know it.
She will never, ever, blow it!
Lor's the best.
We all know it.
She will never, ever, blow it!
Wow.
$10,000.
Yeah, that's a lot of dollars.
You know what I want to do with my share?
I'll hire a scientist
to do a certain job for me.
You want to pay me
to clone William Shakespeare?
Yep.
But why?
I have a little something
I'd like him to write.
William Shakespeare's
"Romeo and Tish."
You know what I'll do?
This will be so cool.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, Tino, for hiring us
as your personal musicians.
This next one's for you.
"Smells Like Tino's Spirit!"
You guys have no sense of style.
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'll buy the world's coolest sports car.
No, no, no.
I'll buy a helicopter!
Make up your mind already!
Wait, maybe a space shuttle.
What are you thinking about, Lor?
Don't let us down.
Don't let us down.
Don't let us down.
Don't let us down.
Don't let us down.
Noooooo!
Lor?
I can't sleep, Dad.
I keep running it over
and over in my mind.
I'm going to miss,
and my friends are gonna hate me.
Sugar, your friends won't hate you just
because you blow a thousand dollars.
It's ten thousand dollars, Dad.
Oh.
They might hate you just a little,
then.
Good night, darlin'.
Ten thousand dollars!
Holy cats!
So, Lor McQuarrie, you must be
almost unbearably nervous.
.. garg.
With such tremendous pressure, you
must feel your head is about to explode.
What is that like?
Like, your head is exploding?
I see.
This is Helen Benitez with Bahia Bay
Action Flash news.
And cut!
Let's get set-up out there.
I want a shot of her face when she misses.
Don't listen to her.
You're going to make
all three shots for sure.
That's right.
Remember to bend your knees.
Yeah.
Be one with the ball.
Okay.
Um, I don't have any basketball advice,
but I can tell you this.
Never drink soap.
Uh huh.
Remember winning isn't everything!
It's the only thing.
We know you're going to make it
Lor! Lor! Lor! Lor!
Lor! Lor! Lor!
And now, what you've all been waiting for?
A girl, three baskets and $10,000!
Hey yowza~!
Is your place where I can vomit?
Look, kid, no matter what your
friends and family say,
there's nothing important
riding on this.
Huh, thank
Except $10,000!
Lor! Lor! Lor! Lor!
Lor! Lor!
Winning isn't everything.
It's the only thing~
Bend your knees
They might hate you,
just a little bit
Never drink soap!
Go, Lor, go!
Woo!
Here we go
This is it!
Aww.
Guys, look, I'm sorry
I can't believe you made
two out of three shots!
And your shoes looked great.
But I blew it.
Duh, it was like a bazillion to one.
What?
You guys were so sure I'd make it.
Well, no one coulda made all three!
We just wanted to be supportive.
Gee, now that I think of it, I guess
we kind of put some pressure on you, huh?
Pressure?
Ha ha ha.. heh..
Thanks, guys.
Hang on, don't you want
your consolation prize?
Hey, yowza!
It's four tickets to that
new water slide at Tesla Park!
Yeah!
Slides of March,
here we come~!
Can you believe Lor thought
we'd be mad over measly $10,000?
You can't get mad at a friend
when they do their best.
Okay, you can, just a little.
But we'll get over it once we go home and
scream into a sofa cushion for a few hours.
Later days!
Hey, Tino here.
So, life stinks.
And not just 'cause Tish keeps
beating me at Crazy Eights.
Mostly 'cause Tesla Park
just opened that new water ride,
"The Slides of March"
and we're too broke to try it.
Man, I wish we could get just
one slice of pizza.
Or play just one game of Moon Mania.
Yeah, and I wish we could go on that
Slides of March ride.
I hear it's so fast, it made Chloe
Montez toss her cookies three times!
Huh, you might as well
wish for an enchanted pony,
'cause we got
pockets full of squat!
You ought to bend your knees
more when you shoot.
Why?
I saw it in a commercial.
It makes the shoes look cooler.
Whoa, doesn't hurt your shot either.
Alright!
Way to go, Lor!
Wow.
Thanks, Carv'.
Like I always say, if you want to succeed,
start by looking good.
I win.
Okay, one more game of Crazy Eights,
and I'll be in a straitjacket!
Who wants to watch Scrabble Vision?
Oh, alright.
I guess.
Okay.
" it must be a radioactive monster "
I hate not having money.
" doom and "
" with a coconut!."
Are you sure we can't order pay per view?
Not unless they take my
mom's barley cookies in payment.
What is in these things?
Plaster?
Oh, look.
I think I saw a claw!
On the TV or in the cookies?
Hey, guys.
Hi, Mrs T!
Hey, Tino's mom!
Hi, Mrs Tonitini!
Why are you guys
eating my pot scrubbers?
They're made from organic greens,
so I guess they won't hurt you.
At least we'll be really clean inside.
Oh my gosh.
What time is it?
It's 5:55.
Why?
Baskets for Bucks!
I hope we're not too late.
"And now, the Baskets for Bucks Quiz!"
"The winner will get a chance
to go to Bahia Dome this Sunday,"
"and sink three baskets
for $10,000."
"Hey yowza!"
If we can answer the quiz question,
Lor'll sink those baskets for sure.
Uh I will?
"Hey yowza!"
"Who's ready to win $10,000?"
"The question is:
Who uttered the famous phrase,"
"'Winning isn't everything.
It's the only thing.'"
Mike Dica.
No, it was Vince Lombardi.
Mike Dica!
Vince Lombardi!
Red Sanders!
Tish !
What are you doing?
You don't know anything about sports.
"Red Sanders is correct!"
"Hey yowza~"
"You win the big chance
at Baskets for Bucks."
Yeah!
Alright!
Yeah!
Dude, I am in the zone.
I can't miss.
Lor, maybe some of that money should go to the guy
whose brilliant coaching helped you with your shot!
Wait.
Could that be me?
Of course, there'd be no Baskets for Bucks if
I hadn't answered that very tricky question.
Well, I, uh, I, I dialed the phone.
Relax, guys.
I know I couldn't have done it without you.
We'll split it four ways.
Yay!
Don't celebrate yet.
I still have to make those three shots.
Well, yeah, of course.
So why are Lor's chances of winning?
Three shots in a row.
She's good, but that's pretty tough.
I'd say roughly
one in a bazillion.
Okay, the odds are lousy,
but we have to be supportive.
So only say positive stuff, no matter
what.
Yeah, we don't want her to know we think
there's even a tiny chance that she'll fail.
Alright, Lor!
You can do it!
There isn't even a tiny chance you'll fail!
Well, I don't know.
I mean, it'll be pretty hard.
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
No way!
There is a zero percent likelihood of you
ever missing any shots ever!
Starting now.
Lor's the best.
We all know it.
She will never, ever, blow it!
Lor's the best.
We all know it.
She will never, ever, blow it!
Wow.
$10,000.
Yeah, that's a lot of dollars.
You know what I want to do with my share?
I'll hire a scientist
to do a certain job for me.
You want to pay me
to clone William Shakespeare?
Yep.
But why?
I have a little something
I'd like him to write.
William Shakespeare's
"Romeo and Tish."
You know what I'll do?
This will be so cool.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, Tino, for hiring us
as your personal musicians.
This next one's for you.
"Smells Like Tino's Spirit!"
You guys have no sense of style.
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'll buy the world's coolest sports car.
No, no, no.
I'll buy a helicopter!
Make up your mind already!
Wait, maybe a space shuttle.
What are you thinking about, Lor?
Don't let us down.
Don't let us down.
Don't let us down.
Don't let us down.
Don't let us down.
Noooooo!
Lor?
I can't sleep, Dad.
I keep running it over
and over in my mind.
I'm going to miss,
and my friends are gonna hate me.
Sugar, your friends won't hate you just
because you blow a thousand dollars.
It's ten thousand dollars, Dad.
Oh.
They might hate you just a little,
then.
Good night, darlin'.
Ten thousand dollars!
Holy cats!
So, Lor McQuarrie, you must be
almost unbearably nervous.
.. garg.
With such tremendous pressure, you
must feel your head is about to explode.
What is that like?
Like, your head is exploding?
I see.
This is Helen Benitez with Bahia Bay
Action Flash news.
And cut!
Let's get set-up out there.
I want a shot of her face when she misses.
Don't listen to her.
You're going to make
all three shots for sure.
That's right.
Remember to bend your knees.
Yeah.
Be one with the ball.
Okay.
Um, I don't have any basketball advice,
but I can tell you this.
Never drink soap.
Uh huh.
Remember winning isn't everything!
It's the only thing.
We know you're going to make it
Lor! Lor! Lor! Lor!
Lor! Lor! Lor!
And now, what you've all been waiting for?
A girl, three baskets and $10,000!
Hey yowza~!
Is your place where I can vomit?
Look, kid, no matter what your
friends and family say,
there's nothing important
riding on this.
Huh, thank
Except $10,000!
Lor! Lor! Lor! Lor!
Lor! Lor!
Winning isn't everything.
It's the only thing~
Bend your knees
They might hate you,
just a little bit
Never drink soap!
Go, Lor, go!
Woo!
Here we go
This is it!
Aww.
Guys, look, I'm sorry
I can't believe you made
two out of three shots!
And your shoes looked great.
But I blew it.
Duh, it was like a bazillion to one.
What?
You guys were so sure I'd make it.
Well, no one coulda made all three!
We just wanted to be supportive.
Gee, now that I think of it, I guess
we kind of put some pressure on you, huh?
Pressure?
Ha ha ha.. heh..
Thanks, guys.
Hang on, don't you want
your consolation prize?
Hey, yowza!
It's four tickets to that
new water slide at Tesla Park!
Yeah!
Slides of March,
here we come~!
Can you believe Lor thought
we'd be mad over measly $10,000?
You can't get mad at a friend
when they do their best.
Okay, you can, just a little.
But we'll get over it once we go home and
scream into a sofa cushion for a few hours.
Later days!