The West Wing s01e11 Episode Script

Lord John Marbury

Previously: -Lillienfield knows Leo was a drunk.
-Everyone knows that.
They don't know there were pills.
He was in rehab.
Six years ago.
A pleasure, ma'am.
Charlie Young.
Don't call her ''ma'am.
'' -Zoey? -lf l can call you Charlie.
Take me out, convince me.
-Excuse me? -You heard me.
-l was distracted.
-l won't say it again.
Then l'm gonna assume you asked me out.
Jack.
-Last pass with the KH satellite.
-How old is this? -About 20 minutes.
-Go to X-1 0 inside the grid.
Those are two CVEs and four destroyers.
Let's get some help.
We can identify the northern, central, and western armies.
They all appear to be front-line divisions.
-What about the Navy? -Two CVEs, four destroyers.
-Where are they headed? -Pakistan.
-l'm sold.
Let's brief the C.
O.
s.
-l'll call the White House.
-You'll like it.
-lt doesn't sound like it.
-Caddying? lt's great.
-l just lug your golf clubs around? -lt's good exercise.
-Of course.
l'm lugging golf clubs.
You'll be reading the greens, helping with club selection.
-Here he is.
-Me? Joshua Lyman? Are you Joshua Lyman? Claypool again? -This is a subpoena-- -Why do you let him in? -lf you'll sign to show proof-- -Give me it.
lt's like the 43rd time.
This is Freedom Watch, right? You guys are real patriots.
-Hope this hasn't inconvenienced you.
-Why would that inconvenience me? -Have a good day, sir.
-Thank you.
Drop dead.
lt's what l do.
l'm a professional hostile witness.
-Will l drive the cart? -No cart.
-You don't use a cart? -Real golfers don't use carts.
-Don't they carry their clubs? -No.
Would you pay me? You play in the winter? Spring, but l want you to start practicing right away.
-Good evening.
-How are you, Josh? -l've been subpoenaed.
-l'm sorry.
Want a cookie? -The president asked me to come by.
-He just left with Leo.
-Where'd they go? -Situation room.
Keep your seats.
Admiral Fitzwallace? invaded along the cease-fire line.
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into Pakistan-held Kashmir territory.
-ls lndia's objective clear? -No, sir.
When you say the lndian Army, what are we talking about? -Five guys in a Humvee? What? -Mitch? They committed three infantry divisions and two armored brigades.
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as well as four CVEs and two destroyers.
-All told? -Approximately 300,000 troops, sir.
-ln the last 25 minutes? -Yes, sir.
troop movement to have been on a whim.
-This was long planned.
-Yes, sir.
All l'm trying to do is avoid making eye contact with the ClA director.
-Mr.
President-- -300,000 troops? l can't move a motorcade without it showing up on a weather satellite.
-We dropped the ball, sir.
-Pick it up again, would you, please? Yes, sir.
-Any chance this is an exercise? -No.
-A threat gesture? -Possibly.
-Any nuclear activity? -We don't know, sir.
l wouldn't worry.
That's probably not important.
-We've ordered intense surveillance.
-How intense? Satellites have been diverted to the area.
The KH super platform's been tasked into stationary orbit.
-How long till it's on station? -Six hours.
l want the crisis task force activated and a national security briefing.
Thank you.
-What's the ambassador say? -Which? -Pakistani.
-Our guy there or their guy here? -Ours.
-We haven't appointed one.
-You're kidding.
-No.
-Good evening.
-Good evening.
lt's been over a year.
We have no one in Pakistan.
-Right.
-Maybe that's why they got invaded.
The Pakistanis have about 20,000 troops along the northern front.
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and four divisions along the eastern front.
All this happened without the ClA knowing? l've already had words.
The U.
N.
is meeting to try to effect a cease-fire.
l feel better already.
-How could we not have an ambassador? -We were getting to it.
How can the ClA miss Well, they've got a very good photo now.
The idea is to spot them before they cross the border, right? -For now, it's conventional weapons? -Toby, what do you know about this? Any war between them won't end with conventional weapons.
-You want to brief the hill? -Yeah.
-Good evening.
-Hello.
-l'm sorry.
Should l wait in the--? -No.
We were just breaking up.
-Can l say there's a full lid? -Yeah.
l'll send them home.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
l'll brief her in the morning.
Evening, ma'am.
-Charlie, how you doing? -Good.
-ls he in? -l'll tell him you're here.
-l'll just wait.
-Okay.
-Do you ever get a night off? -No, actually.
-That's too bad.
-lt's all right.
l meant it would be cool to go out or something.
Yeah.
l'm sorry, with me? You know you don't have to stand up the whole time l'm in a room.
Yeah.
l don't know why l do that.
-Hi, Zoey.
-ls that Zoey? Anyway, too bad.
-l've been subpoenaed.
-By Claypool? The Freedom of lnformation Act.
l was running the investigation after we were all accused of taking drugs.
Not all, just one.
Claypool's suing you for the paperwork? -l'm being deposed tomorrow.
-Who you bringing? l'm not bringing anyone.
-Bring a lawyer.
-l am a lawyer.
-Bring a real lawyer.
-Thanks for the pep talk.
No sweat.
-What's up? -Not too much.
-We'll look good in California.
-l'll look pale.
-l meant the president.
-l know.
Sam, can l talk to you a second? ln your office? Thanks.
What's up? l may take a new client.
lt may be a problem for Josh and Toby.
l was hoping you'd help smooth the way.
-Who's the client? -Mike Brace.
You're serious? -Mike Brace is a Republican.
-l know that.
You think they might have a problem? He's moderate, good on education and women's rights.
-He's Republican.
-He came to me.
He sought me out.
We'd come to you too.
ln fact, we did.
l'm coming to you now.
So l'll help convince Josh and Toby to let you work for a Republican.
lsn't this my lucky day.
You're the one more interested in getting things done than beating-- -Josh and Toby are just as committed.
-Not lately.
l disagree.
The banking bill, the land use rider, assault weapons.
-You like Mike Brace.
l know.
-This is an impossible sell.
-lt shouldn't be.
-lt will be.
l know.
-l admire your pluck.
-What part of me do you admire? Your pluck.
Your gumption.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
-You'll talk to Josh and Toby? -You're going to owe me.
We'll be even.
l'll do this and many more favors, and we'll be even.
Thank you.
We'll have a briefing by the Treasury on the market adjustment.
That's what we're calling it.
With that, the lid is full.
You can go.
A source at the Pentagon says there's been troop movement on Kashmir.
ln the last few hours? You need a new source at the Pentagon, Bruce.
-There's nothing to it? -What kind of troop movement? having a little fun with you.
-You sure? -l was in the office 1 0 minutes ago.
-Have a good night.
-Good night, C.
J.
! Fighting has occurred between lndian troops and Pakistani border garrisons.
The cease-fire line has been breached twice.
With five divisions invading north of Kargil.
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and a force that's crossed west into Azhad.
Bobby? ln the past hour, Prime Minister Nohamid spoke on TV, saying that.
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after enduring endless provocation by the criminals running Pakistan.
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lndia's forbearance has been exhausted.
ln the name of peace, lndia is putting an end to Pakistan's aggression.
'' And Pakistan? They're condemning lndia's aggression and pledging resistance.
We've got ourselves a ballgame.
-When do we get the nuclear briefing? -This afternoon, 1 500.
-Thank you.
-Thank you, Mr.
President.
The Freedom of lnformation Act.
He wants to know about the investigation.
lt wasn't an investigation.
Did he bring a lawyer? -Said he didn't need one.
-l like the sound of this.
-Leo's coming.
C.
J.
's already inside.
-Thanks.
-You know what this is about? -Yeah.
-l stopped by your office before.
-l was at the reception.
What's going on? lndia sent troops into the neutral zone in Kashmir.
The U.
N.
's trying to get a cease-fire.
We'll play a role in 48 to 72 hours.
Brief the press tonight.
l want you in on some of the meetings throughout the day.
lncluding this one.
This happened last night? That's what you were talking about before? -l'm sorry.
-You said the lid was on.
-You have to expect that.
-l got the question.
A guy had a Pentagon source.
l denied it.
-ls it 300,000? A couple destroyers? -And four CVEs.
-He hit it.
l made fun of him.
-Say you spoke without knowing.
That's what l'll do.
Don't worry.
lndia's the story.
This is forgotten.
-l'm fine.
We're across the hall? -Yeah.
-Your occupation? -White House deputy chief of staff.
How long have you had the job? Since President Bartlet was sworn in 1 2 months ago.
Have you been investigating, over the past weeks.
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drug use by White House staffers? l wouldn't call it an investigation.
lt wasn't that serious.
You don't consider illegal drug use at the White House to be serious? Almost tripped me up in that clever web of words.
l'd consider drug use in the White House to be serious.
My investigation wasn't serious.
You know it wasn't serious because l was running it.
What prompted the investigation? Congressman Lillienfield claimed one in three White House staffers use drugs.
l was asked to discover what would have caused him to say that.
Asked by whom? The chief of staff and the communications director.
The organization l represent is suing.
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for the records of your investigation.
l can save us all a lot of time.
There are no records of my investigation.
Before being deposed, did you tell anybody we required your testimony? -l mentioned it to a few people.
-Who were they? -Sam Seaborn.
-Deputy communications director.
-Yes.
-Why'd you mention it to him? -No particular reason.
-No particular reason? -Yes.
-Really? You brought up the subpoena for no particular reason.
-Who else? -My assistant, Donna Moss.
What did you tell Mr.
Seaborn and Miss Moss about this deposition? l told them l had to waste a day on this deposition.
What else did you tell them? l probably told them these moronic lawsuits of yours-- Why do you--? You're not after the truth.
You hate President Bartlet.
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and you're looking for headlines and money.
You have two hours today and tomorrow.
Will somebody please offer me some coffee? lndia's population is about one billion.
82% Hindu, 1 1 % Muslim.
-They're not as poor as Pakistanis.
-Whose per capita income is $400.
They are however, better educated.
And they're healthier.
Average life span is 57.
7 years.
-What kind of briefing is this? -lf we could have another hour.
-Where did you get this? -The Encyclopedia Britannica.
-l need a briefing.
-We're getting someone from State.
She'll get over it.
Let me ask you something without your head exploding.
How would you react to Mandy working for Mike Brace? He came to her.
-She wants to work for him? -Maybe.
-Good afternoon.
-Mrs.
Landingham.
-ls this a joke? -You don't say hello? Hello.
ls this a joke? l don't understand.
l'm in disbelief.
-l'll say your reaction was-- -Disbelief! -He's good on education-- -Are you shilling for her? -l'm smoothing the way.
-Don't.
-She wants your temperature.
-Don't do that.
lndia has two intermediate-range missiles named Agni 1 and 2.
Agni means ''fire'' in Hindi.
They have an A-bomb 50% more destructive than the Hiroshima bomb.
-They have a thermonuclear device.
-An H-bomb? What's the command situation? -This is the terrifying part.
-l was waiting for a terrifying part.
CCl systems are unreliable.
They put money in weapons.
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and ignore safeguards.
-Like what? Dual launch controls, chain of command, monitoring, testing.
Leaders don't share information.
lt might weaken them.
l'll read this from a DOD overview: ''At times, both countries have shown an incoherent decision-making system.
You cannot predict what will happen in a crisis.
'' Well, bring in Dr.
Strangelove, and we're all set.
-Thanks, Joe.
-Sure.
-Thank you, Mr.
President.
-Thank you.
-There's an expert l want to bring in.
-Who? -No.
-You guys will love him.
-He's a lunatic.
-Colorful.
Certifiable.
-Who? -Lord John Marbury.
Former ambassador to New Delhi.
-Where do we find him? -An institution.
He's colorful.
You'll let him loose where there's liquor and women? We can hide the women, but he deserves a drink.
Get him on a plane.
-Anything else? -Thank you, Mr.
President.
Can l just say this about Mandy's representing Mike Brace? -l should say something to C.
J.
-lt'll be patronizing.
lf you don't, it says you think she's a professional.
-l'm going to go see her.
-See what you do? You ask for my advice, and you ignore it.
Carol? The next few weeks, it's important to reassure Americans.
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the president is working hard to defuse the crisis.
-They're misspelling New Delhi.
-The ''H'' is wrong? -l'm happy when they use an ''H'' at all.
-We'll fix it.
We're fixing the ''H'' ! l was warned that coming to talk to you might be insulting.
-You wouldn't want that.
-lt wasn't ready for the press.
Could have told me before sending me in.
l denied it.
l said, ''l was in the office, and nothing's going on.
'' -They don't think you lied.
-l know.
They think you lied to me.
They don't know me.
l'm from nowhere.
l was just starting to get respect.
Know how long it'll take to get it back? ''Don't ask C.
J.
She doesn't know.
'' There's a concern you're too friendly with the press.
lt's important you're friendly.
-For all of us! -l don't disagree.
Does this have to do with Danny? -People see you with him.
-This is outrageous.
-lf we erred, it's-- -You sent me in uninformed so l'd lie.
We sent you in uninformed because we thought maybe you couldn't.
l have all this work to do.
-How'd it go? -Fine.
-Going back? Take a lawyer.
-You got 450 bucks an hour? Then mind your own business.
-lt's this guy.
-Sam's going.
ln the middle of a crisis, what better place for him? -Two hours.
Just do it.
-Was C.
J.
pissed? The Chinese ambassador will be in in a moment.
This ought to be delightful.
Thanks for staying late, Charlie.
l'd like to ask you a question.
How would you feel about my going on a date with Zoey? -l'm sorry? -Zoey said, if l had a free night-- She asked? Should have put her in the dungeon.
-You don't have one.
-l could build one.
lf it's not a problem-- You have picked the worst time to talk to me about this.
-l think he's here.
-Thank you, sir.
He wants to go out with Zoey.
Shut up! -Mr.
Ambassador.
-Good evening, Mr.
President.
Thanks for seeing us on such short notice.
-Thank you.
Good evening, Leo.
-Please, sit down.
lt is crucial that we bring about a cease-fire and a pull-back.
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before this conflict takes another step.
-We have every hope for your success.
-You do? -Yes, sir.
-Thank you.
However, l've been instructed to inform you that China won't allow.
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lndia's aggression against Kashmir, as it intensifies the threat.
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of lndian aggressors on our own border.
-Are you saying China might intervene? -The lndians must be stopped.
Of course China would like to see a peaceful solution.
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but we are prepared to use whatever force is necessary.
This just keeps getting better and better.
-Did you speak to him? -Toby? l did.
And? He didn't go for it.
-lt wasn't what you were hoping for.
-You told him about women's issues? Did you tell him enthusiastically? Did you tell him--? l told him everything.
He did not warm to the idea.
-Let's go.
-l'm ready.
-Talk to him.
Enthusiastically.
-Talk to me about what? Mandy wants Mike Brace as a client.
-ls there another Mike Brace? -Not in the House.
-She knows he's Republican? -She's pretty bright.
-l'm gonna kill her.
-So, no way? That's a big 1 0-4.
Mr.
Ambassador, you know Leo McGarry.
-Good to see you again.
-Terrible circumstances.
Please, sit down.
We're trying to phone your prime minister without any luck.
The prime minister is occupied organizing our response.
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to this aggression by lndia, but l'll do my best to help you.
l stood at a podium this morning and condemned the incursion by lndia.
Your condemnation could have been stronger.
lt might have been.
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if my State Department didn't feel lndian action was provoked.
l think you're being misinformed.
You deny Pakistani activity in the neutral zone? The people of Kashmir are demanding their rights guaranteed by the U.
N.
The recent unrest is the result of an oppression of a defenseless people.
The people he's talking about aren't defenseless.
They're carrying the M-1 6s we sold them.
The U.
S.
is committed to finding a reasonable solution to the dispute.
lt is not a dispute, but illegal occupation by the lndian state.
Whatever the language, l know you will agree we have to find a way.
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for these countries to exist in a global community.
That sounds nice, but Pakistan doesn't wish to exist.
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in a global community with criminals.
l'd imagine the lndian ambassador is going to say the same about you.
Be that as it may.
-Thank you for coming.
-Yes, Mr.
President.
l'll take the lndian ambassador in the Oval Office.
Then ask the Secret Service to step in and kill me, please.
-Zoey walked up and asked him out.
-She's very outgoing.
A dungeon would put an end to that.
You're trying to cover your enjoyment.
-l'm not trying to cover it.
-l'm a father in pain.
Really, you're just a pain.
You got a racial problem? -A racial problem? l don't.
-Okay.
-l don't have a racial problem.
-Okay.
l'm Spencer Tracy at the end of Guess Who 's Coming to Dinner.
My problem's not racial.
She's a girl and he's not.
And he's older.
-She's 1 9, he's 21 .
-A guy learns a lot in those two years.
Tracy was good in that movie.
-You look well.
-l looked better.
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before your country breached about 1 4 cease-fire conditions.
Let's sit down and talk.
Charlie, please close the door.
You didn't make a single note? You're asking-- This is your seventh lawsuit.
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and the fourth time you've demanded documents that don't exist.
ln your investigation in which you wrote nothing-- lt's nice the White House takes this seriously.
ln your investigation, did you find any evidence of staff drug use? -No.
-l'd remind you you're under oath.
l'd remind you that's the seventh time you've reminded him since he sat down.
Are there alcoholics in the White House? -l would imagine there are.
-You would imagine? -Statistics suggest-- -You know for sure there are.
Yes.
What are their names? The public has a right to know.
-Drinking isn't illegal.
-l mean a higher standard.
He's not telling you names of people he knows to be alcoholics.
Move on.
ls Leo McGarry an alcoholic? l won't answer that.
-Has he had treatment for alcoholism? -l won't answer that.
-Has he had treatment for Valium? -He's not obligated to answer that.
lt's irrelevant to your cause of action.
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in which you want documents about drug use in the White House.
We go see the judge right now, she'll sustain my objection.
During your investigation.
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did you see Secret Service files of people you were investigating? -There was no investigation.
-Did you look at these files? -Yes.
-lncluding Leo McGarry's? Yes.
l have a record you would have had access to.
How'd you get that? lt says Leo McGarry spent 28 days in a substance abuse facility.
This is obtained illegally.
That's my problem.
Just answer this question.
ln your investigation of McGarry.
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did you find he was not only treated for alcoholism.
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he was treated for Valium addiction as well? Should we ask a judge about that? -We're going to postpone this.
-l'm not finished.
We're postponing.
You got a problem, cite us for contempt.
You should be concerned with your reputations.
The idea of you standing up for a man so unqualified-- Go.
You're a hack, and if you come after Leo, l'll bust you like a pinata.
Your frustration is because you can't control us with economic sanctions.
My frustration is you have nuclear weapons and a tendency to get cranky.
lndia will be a nuclear power.
We'll never be dictated to again.
-lt was nice spending time with you.
-Thank you, Mr.
President.
Thank you.
When he talks about colonial western imperialism.
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l want to remind him the U.
S.
also threw off its colonial masters.
-Why don't you? -l keep forgetting.
-ls he here? Send him in, please.
-God help me.
John! Thank you for coming.
-How was the flight? -lntoxicating.
Allow me to present myself.
-l was summoned by your president.
-We've met, 1 0 or 1 2 times.
-l'm Leo McGarry.
-l thought you were the butler.
l'm the White House chief of staff.
Would you have a light for my cigarette? There's no smoking in this part of the world.
Really? ln this part over here, we encourage it.
lt's ''Your Lordship,'' but it couldn't make the least difference.
Tell me, how can l be of service? lf it's within my power to give, you shall have it.
-We need your take on the situation.
-What is your take on the situation? The world's coming apart at the seams.
Then, thank God you sent for me.
Yes.
His name is Lord John Marbury, the hereditary Earl of Sherlbourne.
He's related to a former viceroy.
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and served as the Queen's minister to lndia or Pakistan.
He's here to counsel the president.
lf you think this sounds like an operetta, l don't blame you.
-Thank you.
Yes? -Toby's here.
Hello.
l feel l didn't properly articulate my argument.
Either l'm a trusted staff member or not.
What was your argument? -That was my argument.
-That wasn't.
That was, a little while ago, when l was arguing in my head.
-Are you apologizing? -Yes.
Well? -What? -Apologize.
-l'm sorry! -God.
l was trying to do it nicer than that.
-Whose idea was it? -Mine.
You said, ''lndia invaded.
Let's not tell C.
J.
''? -l didn't say it like that.
-How'd you say it? l said it nicer.
l didn't expect you back so soon.
Did everything go okay? No, actually, it didn't.
Thanks.
-You're back.
-Toby apologized to me, in his way.
l need to tell you guys something.
-Did you talk to him? -What? -Did you talk to him? -lt's a bad idea.
-Did you tell him about--? -No.
You're the champion of bipartisan cooperation-- Leo's in trouble.
You're a consultant.
Your job isn't to end the fight.
lt's to win it.
You can work for us or for them, but you can't do both.
-Let's go.
-l'm ready.
l think that's nonsense.
You're overestimating the possibility of escalation.
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beyond the point we're at now.
-lnteresting.
-Thank you.
-What is your name again? Ensconced in the cocoon of your Cold War victory.
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you are ignorant of the powerful agents in Asia.
The free market created an illusion that the world is drawing closer.
Your congress is inept at halting nuclear weapon proliferation there.
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and your intelligence gathering is weak.
lndia and Pakistan have fought three wars since they gained independence.
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with God knows how many skirmishes in between.
lt is about religion.
l can assure you they do not share our fear of the bomb.
l have a telephone call.
May l take it, please, in your foyer? -Go ahead.
-Thank you.
l don't even think the accent's real.
l'm going to ask him to stay and help us out.
-For how long? -You are going to become good friends.
-He thinks l'm the butler.
-The first couple of weeks, so did l.
-Excuse me.
-Hello, Margaret.
What do you need? Would you excuse me for a moment? -What's going on? -lt didn't go well.
Claypool's got your records from rehab.
He must have got them from Lillienfield.
l was about to perjure myself, so Sam ended the deposition.
Claypool will call a reporter.
You're going to read about this.
l wanted to ask you, does your family know? -lf they don't, Leo-- -They know.
-The president? -Yes.
You ready for this? Yes.
Then we're here for whatever you need.
We just wanted to tell you that.
-He still on the phone? -Yes, sir.
Do you need anything? l can't remember a quote from Revelations.
l can't help you.
l've never read Revelations.
-Why not? -Never got around to it.
Say, listen.
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My hesitation about you and Zoey, it's not because you're black.
l thought it was because l'm a guy.
-lt is.
-l understand.
l want you to go out with her if that's what you want.
-l'd like to.
-That's fine.
-Thank you.
-Just remember two things: She's 1 9, and the 82nd Airborne works for me.
-Yes, sir.
-Also this, no kidding.
You go out with Zoey, you'll get your picture taken.
There will be people not wild about you and the president's daughter.
You know what to do with the mail, right? All right.
-You keep your head up.
-Yes, sir.
l should have built a dungeon.
Revelations.
lt's about a horse, and Death was on it.
l really never read it.
Should l go check it out? Yes, please.
Thank you, Charlie.
Good.
l want you all to meet John.
Before Lord Fauntleroy-- Whatever.
Before he comes back.
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l wanted to tell you Josh's deposition did not go well.
The story will probably break soon.
-How you doing? -l'm fine.
Don't ever forget the battles you fought and won.
l'm back, and l believe there are many more people in the room.
Excellent deducing, Your Lordship.
The call was from the British U.
N.
ambassador.
He thinks there'll be a cease-fire resolution soon.
l'd heard that, but all they got was two weeks.
lt's two weeks better than nothing.
l was hoping you'd stick around a couple days and help us out.
However long it takes is as long as l shall serve.
Let's play it by ear.
You're all frightened, as well you should be.
Not since the Protestant-Catholic wars has Western society.
.
.
.
.
.
known anything comparable to the subcontinent's religious malevolence.
To a lesser observer, the intensity of the emotional frenzy.
.
.
.
.
.
is so illogical as to border on mass psychosis.
But as has been said by kings and queens, l am not a lesser observer.
There's a quote from Revelations-- ''And l beheld a pale horse, and the name that sat on him was Death.
.
.
.
.
.
and Hell followed with him.
'' Are you frightened, John? Do you mean, do l think we can stop a war in the next two weeks? -Yes.
-Good.
But.
.
.
.
.
.
l shall require a light.
SDl Media Group (ENGLlSH)
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