The West Wing s04e14 Episode Script

Previously on The West Wing: Fill my office with bicycles.
Cover the windows with Seaborn posters.
You can bring in 101 dalmatians.
I'm focused on what I'm doing.
- Who are you? - You're Bill Bailey, right? Will Bailey, yeah.
I'm with Toby on the inauguration.
I know who you are.
What do you need? Nancy McNally has a new military aide named Jack Reese.
We've talked a few times.
Ask him if he likes me.
The pilot on Shareef's Gulfstream.
- What do you think I'm gonna say? - His name was Jamil Bari.
You know something, General Cho? If you had a story, you'd write it.
If you don't have one, shut up.
- Morning.
- Why are they talking to me about the balls? - Political Affairs thinks it's important.
Start with the Plains States, followed by the Rust Belt and the Pacific Northwest.
- Shows you're president of the country.
- Aren't we about to demonstrate that? - He could start with New Hampshire.
- Where he came from.
He has a driver's license.
What if he starts where jobs are in decline? Make it clear our message is the economy.
Well, that's only gonna be clearer if we also hand out decoder rings.
Listen it's an inauguration ball.
Let's enjoy ourselves.
- Yes, sir.
- Thanks.
- Knock them dead, sir.
- Actually, it's eight inauguration balls.
- You read it? - Every draft, all night long.
You haven't weighed in.
I just did.
- Anything else, sir? - No.
- Eat them up, chief.
- Thank you, Claudia.
Go get them, sir.
- Josh.
- It's leaked.
How much? They know there's a restatement of foreign objectives committee chairmen haven't been consulted, it changed overnight.
Well, their curiosity will be slaked in about 41 minutes.
Listen.
I have a problem.
You're proposing the most massive shift in foreign policy since the Marshall Plan.
It's gonna be wildly unpopular.
- All right.
Two problems.
- Yes, sir.
- I don't have a Bible.
- What do you mean? I kept changing my mind on which Bible I wanted to use and I settled on the George Washington Bible but we ran into a problem with the New York Freemasons.
- The Freemasons? - Yeah.
Charlie's hunting one down, but he's not back.
There's nothing that says you have to be sworn in on a Bible.
- Is that true? - You can do it on Sports Illustrated.
- You think that's a good idea? - No.
- You sure? - I'll find Charlie.
- Thanks.
- We're right next to you.
- Knock them all down.
- Thank you, sir.
Go get them, sir.
- Nice suit.
- Leo.
Can you tell me about what happened to Jack Reese? The president asked for a Force Depletion Report under the radar.
- On Kundu? - Yeah.
- And someone found out.
- Hutchinson.
It was my fault.
- Which doesn't excuse - I don't excuse it.
I don't know how she could do that.
I don't wanna talk about it now but could her timing have been worse? I told her all that.
- I'll be telling it to her too.
- She knows.
- Good.
- She's not here.
I can't find her.
I don't think she's coming.
I'll find out where Charlie is.
- Leo.
- Yes, sir.
You've been underground, but there's a rumor the president's contemplating a new doctrine for use of force.
He's nothing if not contemplative, senator.
The man makes the Prince of Denmark seem reactionary.
- He's gonna talk about it.
- He's commander in chief.
He's gonna reserve the right to, you know, command.
Get yourself some punch.
- Leo.
- Mr.
Leader.
- The Hill's gonna go crazy.
- A refreshing change of pace.
I've assured members the White House won't act without us.
Then you're all set.
There's cheese over there.
- Hello.
- Hi.
I saw the dress that Abbey's wearing tonight.
Yeah, I may need to get a room.
- You know it's leaked? - No kidding? Already, three people have reminded me what Jefferson said in his inaugural.
"Peace, commerce, honest friendship with all nations and entangling alliances with none.
" But when he said it, your best chance of getting entangled with an ally was by rowboat.
- Yeah.
- Charlie's here.
- Sir.
- Thank you.
- Yes, sir.
- Donnie's Motel? - Yes, sir.
- They didn't have one in the library? - This is from the library.
- Okay.
- Mr.
President.
Mr.
Chief Justice.
The chief justice will say to raise your right hand and place your left hand on the Bible.
- What do I do then? Raise your right hand and put your left on the Bible.
And will there be someone who will tell me when it's time to do that? - You mock me? - I do.
- May I continue to? - Yes, sir.
Can we pull foreign policy up on the prompter? One-forty-four on the prompter, please.
It's gonna take a second.
What's going on? The chief justice wrote a dissenting opinion in Sea Northern v.
Arizona saying that an association between asbestos and a higher risk of cancer in later life was insufficient to merit relief.
So what? He I don't know how to say it.
He wrote it in a meter.
- A meter.
- He wrote a dissenting opinion in what I'm almost certain is trochaic tetrameter.
- Will? - It is.
- What are you talking about? - He starts in the fourth graph.
"Fear of cancer from asbestos, fuzzy science manifestos.
" - A guy just faxed this to Will.
- Which one's Will? He is.
It's a loud syllable followed by a soft syllable which is a trochaic foot and there's four per comma, which is tetrameter.
Is he telling us something through code? One-forty-four is on the prompter.
"America cannot be the world's policeman.
America cannot enforce its own values, its own standards across the world.
Yet, when it's in our clear and vital interests" We're being candid at least.
- This is State Department language.
- No kidding.
Look I understand I present a uniform gap, but I wanna mean what I say.
Will, you're gonna meet my counterpart, State's communications director.
He likes to have input into policy language.
Won't he be insulted that he's meeting with someone who isn't a White House staffer? - I would really think so.
- That's all.
Thank you.
The chief justice wrote a poem.
He wants the court to adopt powdered wigs.
- What do you mean? - Exactly what I said.
- Powdered wigs? - Like the British magistrates.
I think there might be a problem.
- Think he's stayed too long at the fair? - He's not a young man.
- Neither am I.
- This is what I'm talking about.
This foreign policy language is ridiculous.
- It'll get fixed.
- What's going on in Kundu? - Yeah.
- I got a security cable this morning about civil unrest in the Republic of Equatorial Kundu and had to get an atlas.
- Near the lvory Coast.
- I know that now.
The government forces run by the Arkutu have apparently killed as many as 200 Induye on the streets of Bitanga, the capital.
- Two warring tribes? - No, one tribe's warring.
The other is getting killed.
But the point is we've got about - They're being evacuated? - Yes, sir.
Okay.
Thank you.
- Mr.
President, I'm sorry to bother you.
- Yeah.
If you wanna use the George Washington Bible they need time to send it.
- From where? The Freemasons have the Washington Bible.
- They need several days' notice? - Yes, sir.
- Why? - I don't know, sir.
- Are they not sure where it is? - Are you using it? I'm gonna be using the Bartlet Bible.
That's at the New Hampshire Historical Society.
Yes, sir.
- Yes? - Sir, just to be clear you're hoping there can be a broader definition of"vital interests"? - Hoping beyond hope.
Thank you, sir.
There's a partnership that can develop between someone and his speechwriter.
It happens over time.
You get to know where he likes his commas and why he says"self-government" instead of"government.
" Why he doesn't like"implement" but does like the word"obfuscate.
" Like jazz musicians I can't remember your name, but are you asking me on a date? No, sir.
It happens over time.
- Okay.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
Charlie, do you know if the New Hampshire statehouse has Governor Bartlet's statements? - They do.
- Could you help me get them? Yeah, it's not a problem.
And copies of his floor speeches from the House? I can also send people to the library and get Everything he's ever said? - Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Yeah? - Tickets came.
- For? - The balls.
Could you hang on to mine till Sunday? - Yeah.
- Thanks.
You know what Jack will be wearing? - A saber.
- Please tell me it's not all he's wearing.
No.
He'll be wearing his dress blues.
Warfare pin, submarine officer pin two commendation medals, meritorious unit Purple Heart, Bronze Cross and a saber.
I'll be wearing a tuxedo from Gary's.
- Who's been on the phone? - People from the State Department.
They decided to change the language They want to know why their director was asked to meet with Will.
The president's asked Toby and Will to look at the language.
Okay.
Keep the president out of it.
I've asked them to look at it.
- All right.
- Thanks.
Thirteen buttons on the trousers.
I don't wanna know how you know that.
Heavenly Father, assist with your spirit of counsel and fortitude the president of the United States that his administration may be conducted in righteousness and be eminently useful to your people over whom he presides.
And we ask this morning for the safe evacuation of the 500 American missionaries and their children in the Republic of Equatorial Kundu and for the people of Kundu where horrible violence has broken out.
We pray to you, who are Lord our God, forever and ever.
- Amen.
- Amen.
Patrick, you may pray all you wish but thousands upon thousands of African children will die unless the U.
S.
intervenes.
Tens of thousands of Kundunese children and their parents slaughtered.
Well, I don't control the armed forces, Zake.
No, he was talking to me, Your Eminence.
Your Excellency, I got a very sketchy intelligence report on the violence in the capital about an hour ago.
The violence isn't limited to Bitanga, sir.
It's spread to the countryside.
- I didn't know that.
- May I ask you something, sir with all due respect, please? - Yes.
If mass genocide had broken out in a small European country would your intelligence briefing this morning have been quite so sketchy? No.
I join my colleagues in their prayers for the safe evacuation of the Americans.
Okay, Will, you ready? This is Assistant Secretary of State for Public Affairs, Bryce Lilly.
Thank you.
- Mr.
Secretary.
- Bailey.
- Will Bailey.
Yes, sir.
- You are young.
Thank you.
Have a seat, please.
Thank you.
How long have you been in Public Affairs? Under the last three presidents.
- For both parties? - Know the difference? Republicans want a huge military but don't want to send it anywhere.
The Democrats want a small military and they want to send it everywhere.
- I've heard that.
- When I heard the name Bailey I got a chill in my occipital.
A Pavlovian reaction from when I used to have run-ins with a General Tom Bailey at the home store in Brussels.
- Any relation? - A little bit.
He's my father.
- Really? - Yes, sir.
- How long have you been with the NSC? - I'm not.
How long have you been White House staff? I'm not that either.
I'm on a three-week contract with the DNC to work on the inauguration speech.
- Son I'm Assistant Secretary - For Public Affairs which makes you the person I need to speak to.
The president is troubled by some of the language State's Then this should be between Toby and I.
- Toby's asked me to speak to you.
- What are the concerns? "America stands alone as the indispensable nation a force for peace, freedom and prosperity on all corners of the globe.
" But that's almost exactly what we wrote.
That is what you wrote, I'm quoting State Department text.
You memorized it? It was 1200 words.
- I'm pretty sure it was 1123.
- What's his concern? I suppose, to begin with and this is neither here nor there, globes don't have corners.
- If this is about style and not substance - No, it's about substance.
We've been over this before you got here and I imagine we'll keep going over it long after your three weeks are done.
This White House has to be careful about the use of force, it's a hostile Congress.
Personally, I'd have no problem using force on Congress but that's not my call.
He can't write himself a blank check when it comes to foreign policy.
Especially this president.
-"Especially this president.
" - That's right.
Because of the clause in Article 1 that says not every president gets the full powers of commander in chief.
- Are you rewriting the section? - Yes, sir.
- Dramatically? - I like to think I have a certain flair.
I meant significantly.
- It's what he's looking for.
- In consultation with State? - That's entirely up to Toby.
- Thank you, sir.
Apparently, I'm not done with the Baileys.
Apparently not, you effete - What are you doing? - I throw a ball against the window.
That means you come to me.
As my frustration grows, so does the velocity of the ball against the window.
- I just told Bryce Lilly.
- Good.
- What's in there? - Did you ask for transcripts of public remarks from Manchester? That's what they are.
- And the 14 other cartons outside.
- Okay.
- So we're dumping State's language.
- Yes.
- Which means we'll need our own.
- Yes.
I'm talking to myself, so there's no reason for you to be answering.
Is there a reason for me to be standing here? No.
- Sir? - Yeah? Mr.
Cravenly, director of special collections at the Historical Society phoned about the Bartlet Bible.
- And? - You can't use it.
- I can't? - It needs to be in a vault or it warps.
Just as the disciples intended.
- He suggested the Jefferson Bible.
- The Jefferson Bible doesn't warp? Being from New Hampshire, he just didn't care.
Probably.
Speaking of New Hampshire, don't I own the Bartlet Bible? - It was sold at auction.
- I know.
I bought it.
And you donated it to the Historical Society.
And they won't loan it back so that I can be inaugurated? - Mr.
Cravenly felt bad about that.
- Yeah.
His name is really Mr.
Cravenly? You're not making that up? - No, sir.
Bertram Cravenly.
- Okay, would you tell him that I'd like very much to use my family's Bible which my family has bought at least twice now.
Yes, sir.
A couple hundred people got killed today in Kundu.
- I saw, Mr.
President.
- The Arkutu control the government.
- They're killing - Yeah, I saw.
- The Americans got out? - I'm sorry? - We got the Americans out? - Yeah.
- Anything else, sir? - No.
Thank you, sir.
Yeah.
- Ask Bob Slattery to come over here.
- Yes, sir.
The chief justice will ask the president to raise his right hand and place his left on the Bible.
- C.
J.
? - Yeah.
- And what will the president do then? - Okay.
Katie? - Will the president be asked to swear an oath? I guess we'll find out six days from now but thank you to the Smothers Brothers.
Good night.
- Thank you, C.
J.
- Thank you, C.
J.
- Danny wanted to see you for a second.
- No way.
Stop trying to get us together.
If I wanted, I could have him.
He's still a jackass from the Foreign Ops vote so tell him I'm getting my hair done.
- It looks great.
There was no way you could tell me he was right behind me? - Sorry.
- In here.
- Yes? - My signal agent's missing.
The cricket player.
I tried his house, phone's disconnected.
The airstrip won't give information, neither will the landlord except he just signed a new lease.
- How do you know? - Because I do.
If I help, you'll consider it a favor, not the White House cooperating with you? I would never think the White House was cooperating.
- Thank you.
- Can I just ask? What is it you'd do, exactly, to have me? - Is there anything else? - No.
Good.
- Sir, Mr.
Slattery.
- Yeah.
- Good evening.
- Bobby, what's going on? Intelligence is thin outside Bitanga.
In fact, the archbishop's network of clerics is probably as good as it gets.
The Church has better intelligence than we do? It's a very small embassy, maybe - None? - No, sir.
How many are dead right now? - We have no way of knowing.
- Estimate.
Could be as many as 5000.
Bobby, I don't wanna make noise, but I wanna see a Force Depletion Report.
I wanna know how many we'd lose and I wanna do it without going three rounds in the newspaper with Miles Hutchinson.
Who do we have at the Pentagon who could do this? Jack Reese, Nancy's aide.
- You trust him? - I do.
Tell him I wanna see Force Depletion on a peacekeeping force in Kundu.
Tell him we'll try to keep it away from the secretary's office.
He won't need to hear the second part.
You gave him an order.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
First things first.
We have to learn to pronounce it.
I learned it as"Kuhn-doo.
" - The Republic of Equatorial Kundu.
- C.
J.
? There are reports the Arkutu government issued identification tags.
- We don't know.
- Stating if a Kundunese is Arkutu or Induye.
- We don't know.
- Danny.
- Archbishop Kintaka who was in the White House for a prayer breakfast yesterday said the government's using radio to direct mobs.
- Does the White House know anything? - I don't.
One of the Bishops had provided refuge to about 800 Induye in his church.
When the radio station in Bitanga heard about it, they directed a mob.
They had machetes, they sent them to the church - Did they? - They hacked up all 800.
- No, I didn't know that.
- Every broadcast ends with the word"Krawala.
" - It means"cleanse.
" - Yeah.
My question is, is the president gonna send troops to knock this off? The White House is monitoring the situation.
- I can tell.
- Katie.
State Department estimates yesterday put the dead at anywhere between 3000 and 7000.
Are there revised estimates today? Fifteen thousand.
Sheila? Yep? What's up? What's up? What are you doing? Wondering whether the Nuclear Regulatory Commission really needs $ 100,000 for a morale improvement program.
It's gotta be a pretty critical lap dance.
I went down to Jack's office last night and he was using the NSC lock on the door, which he never has before.
- Did you knock? - Yeah.
- And? - He let me in.
That's a good story.
I wanted to make plans for getting together around midnight.
He couldn't because it'll be morning where he needs to talk to some people.
- Donna - What's halfway around the world? Most of the homes and offices of the people who live on this planet.
He had a fax from the commander of the Seventh Fleet about forward units in the North Atlantic and Mediterranean.
What's he doing showing you a fax from a commander? Showing off for me.
Fantastic.
He wasn't showing me a classified intercept.
How do you know? I don't.
He does.
- Is a joint task force being assembled? - Are you serious? He's been sealed off for 24 hours, everything strikes me as strange.
Let it strike you that way.
Find what they mean by "morale improvement program" so I can get back to actual people.
- Hey, I changed my mind about the Bible.
- Yes, sir.
I don't know.
I've never - It seems parochial.
I hate saying that.
- I understand.
There's a Bible in Massachusetts that Jonathan Edwards used.
- Let's get that.
- Yes, sir.
- Good morning.
- Grace is but glory begun and glory is but grace perfected.
I made my Bible selection.
Listen to this, please.
The Supreme Court is striking down the use of prior offenses as a factor in Stiles v.
Rhode Island.
The chief justice writes a concurring opinion.
"Guilty or not guilty, past convictions frustrate the judge who wonders should your fate abate.
" It's awkwardly worded.
No, it's not.
It's 22 syllables.
- Oh, God.
- Two, four, six, eight.
Two.
And it's supposed to sound like this: "Guilty or not guilty.
Past convictions frustrate.
The judge who wonders should your fate abate.
" It's a cinquain.
- A what? - A cinquain.
- How do you know? - I know things.
I'm worried about the chief justice.
I'm worried about us making that suggestion.
He's writing in verse, plus the powdered wigs.
- Wasn't that a rumor? - Yes.
All right, listen.
I've asked for a Force Depletion Report on action in Kundu.
- Who'd you ask? - Slattery got Jack Reese.
What'd it say? Well, the best scenario is that simply by engaging the Arkutu lay down weapons.
Doesn't seem likely so we'd lose people.
- Yeah.
More if they go into the countryside.
What do you expect? - Yeah.
- Toby's working on new policy language.
- I'm sorry? - Toby's working on new foreign policy language.
- Good.
Can I see the report? You should.
Thank you.
He led an unsuccessful case to block federal death penalties as violating the Equal Protection Clause.
- Why? - Because federal law applies nowhere but Indian Reservations.
This is the best.
Congress will never create campaign reform since they have to run in elections, so he proposed legislation to grandfather it in in 30 years.
- What are you doing? - Familiarizing myself with his tone.
- Not thinking about policy language? - I'm doing both.
- We have five days.
He knows.
And I can confirm that he's thinking and familiarizing himself.
You're comfortable going through life with a name like Elsie Snuffin? I've never been comfortable, not because of my name.
Will, the idea isn't going to walk in here announce itself as important and take a place on the pile.
I understand.
Excuse me, Will? This is from the Congressional Research Service.
- It's an old speech on foreign policy.
- Why wasn't it in the original? It was stricken from the record at the president's request.
Should I place it here? No, I'll take that.
Yeah.
"America needs a new doctrine for a new century based not just on our interests but on our values across the world.
" - Define those values for me, please.
- I don't have to.
The president has.
"We are for freedom of speech.
Freedom to worship everywhere.
Freedom to learn for every child.
" Just out of curiosity, how are you gonna enforce a universal right to education? The same way the U.
S.
enforced anything it wanted in the 20th century.
- Somebody called our father.
- What are you doing here? - The first lady likes my jokes.
- Excellent.
"It is our duty to give more than support.
We must give our strength diplomatically, materially" "And if need be militarily.
" I read it 16 years ago.
It was about El Salvador and he had it stricken and there was a reason.
- What? - Things have reasons.
- Do they? - Yes, they do.
Okay, but C.
J.
this morning put the body count at 15,000.
You're talking about Kundu? That's what this is about? We're talking about everything.
"And freedom from the tyranny of oppression, economic slavery religious fanaticism.
" Tell me if this describes anyone we know.
This isn't what I meant by new language.
- What did you mean? - Making the old language sound better! You're asking the two of us to create foreign policy by ourselves.
That's usually not a good idea.
You've got your Pentagon, the NSC and the State Department.
You and Leo McGarry and Josh are his senior counselors.
It's not like he doesn't want to go there.
This language proposes a new doctrine for the use of force.
That we use force whenever we see an injustice we want to correct.
- Mother Teresa with first strike-ability.
- Damn right! You've had too many dinners with daddy.
Please go back to finding new language for the foreign section.
Yeah, I should.
- I'm only here another four days - But what? He'd do a radio address proposing free liposuction to every child of woman born if you wrote it for him.
You're wrong.
And if he did, I'd be fired shortly thereafter.
Maybe.
But 10 pounds lighter.
You go back to doing whatever it is you do.
We'll bring it in and let the president look.
Very well.
- Hey, is this it? - Yes, sir.
This is Adam Kent from the Edwards Historical Foundation.
- Good to meet you.
- We've met.
- Of course.
- And this, sir, is the John Edwards Bible.
- This? - Yes, sir.
- It's huge.
- Well, it ought to be.
- Actually, it can't be.
- It's a pulpit folio obviously from a time when portability was not an issue.
And illuminations add pages as well as heft.
Also, it's written in four languages.
The first lady has to hold this.
This one's gonna take the first lady, the chief justice and the court of appeals.
Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic and English.
Okay.
- Mr.
Carlton? - Kent.
Sorry.
Thanks.
Charlie's gonna take care of you.
Charlie.
That's the size of a Volkswagen.
Can we get the Washington Bible? - Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
Nine hundred hours, we're running the test of the next Predator.
That's the new night vision capabilities at Camp Red Cloud in Uijongbu City.
- Okay.
Europe? - Potential Basque terrorist plots in Spain.
- State's gonna issue an alert? - DCI's liaising with Guardia Civil.
There's a border dispute between Lithuania and Belarus.
Okay, thanks.
Miles.
What's the general thinking in Kundu? That we should support all the international diplomatic efforts to The U.
N.
's already made overtures to the Arkutu.
That's at the State Department.
What's happening at Central Command? Militarily, we're gonna wanna supply the bordering countries.
That's not what I mean.
We're getting intel that isn't on CNN but that's a matter of a couple of hours.
Truly.
Horrible accounts of mass slaughtering should make us investigate whether there's a genocide.
Lee lost 10,000 at Gettysburg, didn't make it genocide.
That's what I'll go to the president with.
In our case, we'd lose 1000.
Pretty stupid.
Magnificently so when we're talking about a guy who's never led an army.
A, the guy is the president.
B, he's been leading one for three years, How much more training would you like? And C, it's not 1000, we saw a Force Depletion Report, it's 150.
You saw a Force Depletion Report? - Yes.
- How did he see a Depletion Report? Look.
From time to time, just to expedite things, Nancy'll print Nancy's out of the country.
It was her aide.
- The guy was following a direct order.
- I have no doubt.
That's my problem.
- I don't give a damn - What? I said, I don't give a damn what your problem is, Miles.
The man wants to know if he sends troops, how many are gonna die.
If he wants to see Force Depletion, he asks me.
He asked you and three days managed to go by before he sees it, Mr.
Secretary.
Yet, miraculously, the Wall Street Journal, on day two the numbers inflated all to hell.
It's 150, not 1000.
And that's acceptable to you in Kundu? I don't know what you mean when you say,"in Kundu.
" Yeah, I do.
- Go to hell.
- Okay.
Keep your pants on, Toby, I'm almost there.
Toby been taking his pants off again? That's just something he does.
- Good evening.
- How's it going? - Fine, sir.
- Good.
No, it's not.
Yeah.
What's hard is foreign policy's become a statement of what we won't do.
Yes, sir.
"A new doctrine for a new century, based not just on our interests but on our values across the world.
" That's spicy stuff.
- You wrote it, sir.
- Yeah, I know.
Why is a Kundunese life worth less to me than an American life? I don't know, sir, but it is.
- That was ballsy.
- I won't be working here long.
- You Tom Bailey's son? - Yes, sir.
Talk about the very model of a modern major general.
Yes, sir.
Ladies and gentlemen, the briefing is about to begin.
Take your seats, the briefing is about to begin.
- C.
J.
- I found your ramp signal agent.
Me too.
He took a job at an airport in Guyana.
That's where you send people? We don't send anyone who doesn't work for us.
But he's gotten a salary bump and he's co-captain of a cricket team.
- I called him.
- And? He doesn't remember me.
Then he does, but doesn't remember an airstrip.
He does, but he doesn't remember not getting in.
- Mystery solved.
- C.
J.
Come here.
It's been ridiculous since you came back.
Would you mind if I turn off the lights? - No.
- It's just easier this way.
I've been thinking about what might have been if it weren't for the conflict.
- Yeah.
- I'm almost over it.
I'm right there and you come back with your scruffy face and your jokes and your incredible talent and your way of getting at Getting at me.
- And I was thinking, if we could - Be adult? Do you like this perfume? - Yeah.
- Do you like this blouse? - What's gotten into you? - Do you? Yeah.
Come here.
Remember when you asked me what exactly I'd do to have you? Yeah.
I'd do that.
C.
J.
Good evening.
I have revised estimates for Kundu.
We'd said 15,000 yesterday intelligence reports are putting it closer to 25.
Twenty-five thousand.
- C.
J.
! - Mark.
Is the White House being careful not to call this a genocide? - Hey.
- Hey.
He in? In a minute.
He's got a security briefing.
- What's that? - It's a seating chart for the inauguration.
You're sitting in the staff section.
Yeah, I'm looking for someone else.
Would it be weird if I walked around with a military dress saber? Okay.
- He's in the security briefing? - I'll let him know you're here.
Navy dress uniform has Tradition's tradition.
But I'd be concerned about the level of bladder discipline that requires.
Wouldn't you? - What? - Nothing.
King Nawa of Bhutan died.
We'll send condolences.
What's next? - The new king is Yeshey Pradhan Nawa.
- Okay.
He's 13 years old.
If he's old enough to marry Jerry Lee Lewis I guess he's old enough to be king of Bhutan.
What's next? A detained ship 12 miles off the Port of Miami.
Nigerian flag.
- Coast Guard got it? - Yes.
A training exercise has been cleared for the Black Sea and the Caspian.
- This is - I'm sorry.
What's happening in the REK? The General Assembly's debating a proclamation.
Well, a proclamation ought to do the trick.
What's the CIA know that I should know? Neighbors are swapping family members.
- All right, thank you.
- Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
- You wanted Josh? - Yeah.
I changed my mind.
- Not the Washington Bible.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- I'm asking because they need notice.
- Yeah, I'm gonna use my father's.
- Yes, sir.
Good evening, Mr.
President.
- You talk to Hutchinson? - Yeah.
- Tell Josh I'll just be a minute, okay? - Yes, sir.
Did he tell me to let him run the Pentagon? - In so many words.
- How many? Not that many.
As a matter of fact, we didn't get that far.
I got Jack Reese in some trouble.
So Hutchinson knows I've seen Force Depletion.
- Yeah.
- He should be pissed at me, not Jack.
He should be pissed at you? The Secretary should be pissed at the pre? - Don't worry about it.
- Right? - Sure.
No problem.
Don't worry about it.
Yes, sir.
Clark says neighbors are swapping family members in Kundu.
Really? Also, there's a new king of Bhutan and he's been bar mitzvahed.
- All right.
This guy you hired for the inauguration speech gave me some backchat a few minutes ago.
- Bailey? - Yeah, he was using a floor speech I gave about El Salvador that the U.
S.
should send troops to Kundu.
Rhetorically, I said: "Why is a Kundunese life worth less to me than an American life" and he said, "I don't know, sir, but it is.
" I'll try to get some better information.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Good evening, Mr.
President.
- Hey, Josh.
There's intelligence that Kundunese neighbors are swapping family members.
I'm sorry, I don't, I don't under For the night.
They're swapping family members, you know sleeping in each other's houses.
- Yes, sir.
- What's going on? - You know, nothing I can't deal with.
- State? I got off the phone with Tomlinson and Bibbet.
- Tell them - They're under They're under the impression that the policy is being rewritten.
- It's not.
- I know.
They just asked me to emphasize the language has been vetted with members of Armed Services.
- The language is being polished.
- I told them.
They asked me to remind you their version also reflects existing treaties some of which - Have my name on them.
So tell Jeff Tomlinson and Bibby Bob to take a deep knee bend, would you? I'm just as big a cotton candy-ass as they are.
- Yes, sir.
- You're just gonna let that hang? Of course not.
You're a much bigger cotton candy-ass.
- Damn right.
- Anything else? - No.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
- What's going on? - I don't know what's going on but Jack's been reassigned.
- To where? - Aviano.
- Air Force Base? - Yes.
Aviano Air Force Base.
- When? - He got his orders.
- What happened? - I don't know.
He was asked to do something, he did it.
He got a slap on the wrist and wouldn't tell me more than that.
The reality of the fast-track Navy guys is they're gonna bop around a lot.
He was here less than three months, plus he said something happened.
You can't begin to conceive of the internal politics at the Pentagon.
- Right now Hutchinson and his boys - He worked here.
This is internal politics of the White House.
Well, no one's told me anything about it and I'm not gonna ask.
He was asked to do something for somebody.
It could only be Nancy, Leo or the president.
Three doors you wanna knock on to complain about your boyfriend being transferred.
- Hey, I'm not Gidget.
- Is he complaining? - He doesn't complain.
- I ask you that because sometimes people request transfers.
Somebody asked him to do something and he did.
I take him at his word, as should you, there being no reason not to.
Is there anything you need? - No.
- Thank you, sir.
Jack Reese got transferred.
Well, I've got my own Beach Boys song going.
If you've got a crush on Reese Jean Pierre is sitting by her in the friends section.
Zoey's lover? - It's important you call him that? - His name is Jean Paul? - Are we together on this? - Yes.
Okay.
Intelligence says neighbors in Kundu are sleeping at each other's houses.
What does that mean? It means they're making people in the same house rape each other on the promise their lives will be spared.
Okay.
- Do you need anything? - No.