Thirtysomething (1987) s02e13 Episode Script

[theme.]
- Hey, man, that was great.
- It was sick.
Oh, Geraldo's the best thing about being unemployed, man.
Today he's doing nude transvestites.
- Hey, Scooter.
- Hey, how you doing? - Hey, what you got? - No, no, Elliot.
Love letters.
Typed love letters.
Mike, you're such a perfectionist here.
Oh, The Girl with the Kool-Aid Soul.
- Wasn't Seka in that? - This is your novel.
- Yeah.
- You wrote a novel? - Yes, I did.
Let's play ball now.
The unemployed against the untenured.
- Really, you wrote a novel? - Yes, I did, Elliot.
- Let's go now.
- First I want to raid the larder for cookies with lots of preservatives.
I remember at Penn when you were writing this thing and drinking too much coffee, smoking Gitanes.
You were so dark and moody you couldn't reflect light.
- That was fun.
- It was great.
So whatever happened with that workshop with Ivy Dunbar? Oh, yeah, I'm looking for work now, so Yeah, but you should take that.
- Yeah.
- You should.
- It'd be good for you.
- Yeah, you think so? - Yeah.
- That's good, 'cause I'm doing it.
- The workshop? - Yeah.
Oh, that's great, man.
I start Wednesday night.
You weren't gonna tell anyone, were you? It's not a big deal.
Hey, Mike, what's the half-life on this marshmallow fluff? - You're disgusting.
- Mmm.
Do that thing.
What thing? That thing that you do with your tongue.
[groans.]
Matthew.
No, come on.
Come on.
Do that popcorn wizard thing that you do.
Come on, do it.
I love that.
I'd like to know what you did for entertainment before I came along.
Well, I sharpened pencils.
I straightened paper clips, that sort of thing.
Something wrong? No, nothing's wrong.
I just got another rejection for my book today.
Oh, those publishers don't know what they're missing.
No, I think they know exactly what they're missing.
I keep getting all the same comments.
How can they not like those pictures? No, they like the pictures.
They-- They just think something's wrong with the story.
What are you gonna do, hire a writer to fix the story? No.
Then it wouldn't feel like mine anymore.
So what? You're gonna work on it until you get it right.
I just hope you don't think that's gonna change anything.
Like what? Ethan's not gonna love you any less if your book doesn't get published.
Nobody's gonna love you any less.
No, this is great, man.
You'll write some big Stephen King novel with all the italics, and I'll be bucking cases of sodas down at Pic 'n' Save.
I mean, this is fair.
This is equitable.
Listen, Elliot, I'm not doing it for the money.
That's what they all say.
- Have a beer.
- Mike you got any sodas or juice or anything in here? Man, this is empty.
You guys really are poor.
I'm serious, Mike.
I think you'll be some famous writer.
You'll have two refrigerators, one just for champagne.
Yeah, listen.
I'm just doing it.
I'm gonna sharpen my skills.
Ivy Dunbar's amazing.
I read her stuff at Penn.
What's your problem? "Mike.
Miles Drentell called.
"Wants you to call back.
Went out for cheese.
"Did you get real sweaty? Love, Hope.
" He probably just wants to torture us, Elliot.
Well, then, so good.
Let's call him.
- Let's make his day.
- I don't want to call him, Elliot.
You call him.
I don't want to call him.
- You call him.
Come on.
- You call him if you want to talk to him.
He called you.
You call him.
Come on, be nice.
Right here.
555-6243.
555-6243.
Right there.
[phone ringing.]
[Woman.]
Good morning.
DAA.
Yeah, Miles Drentell, please.
This is Michael Steadman calling him back.
- One moment, please.
- She's putting us through.
Being put through.
That's good.
- Hello, Miles.
- Steadman.
How are you? Sorry we kept missing each other.
I was in Japan.
Oh.
How was the sushi? - Where? - Japan.
I miss you fellows.
Why don't you and your faithful Indian companion come in, say Thursday, and have a nice chat? - You're kidding.
- Okay.
Are you kidding? Would you like me to be kidding? - You want us to come in? - Yes.
No.
I dialed your number by mistake, and I'm trying to cover.
We could come by on Thursday.
Say 7:30? 7:30.
In the morning? Or are you accustomed to banker's hours? 7:30's fine.
I'll see you then, then.
Have a care.
Whoo! We got it, Mike, we got it.
- Got what? - He's gonna hire us.
- He doesn't like us, Elliot.
- It's not about like, it's about need.
Unh-unh.
It's gotta be something else.
You know, Mike, that's what I like about you, really, is that positive outlook of yours.
No, I love it.
I really do.
Why would he call if it wasn't about a job? Probably just to taunt us.
You don't know this man, Hope.
Yeah, but if he called, I mean, it indicates interest, and it could mean a job.
Listen, speculation is pointless with Miles Drentell.
The guy is like a bear.
You can never tell what he's thinking.
Oh, a job.
I could stop playing leapfrog - with the Visa cash advances.
- Yeah.
Oh, and I could stop worrying about them taking the baby - to pay for the delivery room.
- There it is.
I should probably read this, huh? Is the workshop gonna interfere with the job at DAA? Read my lips.
There is no job at DAA.
[chatter.]
I'm so excited.
Okay, thanks.
Hello, everybody.
I'm Ivy Dunbar.
Let's roll up our sleeves here and get started, okay? - I didn't know you were in this class.
- I didn't know you were.
- Yeah.
How could you have known, right? - I guess.
So.
I am not going to teach you to be writers.
You already are writers.
If you weren't, you wouldn't be sitting here, believe me.
But you all do need to get past where you are, past the need to stand between the work and the reader so he'll know how clever you are.
Because good writing is writing that appears not to have been constructed, but to have ripened like a banana.
The key to this, of course, is honesty.
There are no rules in fiction except honesty.
If you learn that, you will have spent your money well.
Now the first thing I'm going to ask you to write-- and don't spend more than an hour on this.
We want to check basic wiring-- will be about a party.
Now let's get down to knowing each other a little bit.
Would you like to start? Thank you.
Good night.
I wanted the words to be as good as the pictures.
I mean, I studied drawing, so why shouldn't I study to make the writing better? I can understand that.
I'm just trying to get back in shape.
Wasn't Ivy wonderful? Um, yeah.
I guesss.
She was about what I was expecting.
- Really? - Yeah.
What were you expecting? I don't know.
She just-- She didn't seem to take it very seriously, the writing.
Oh, I like her.
I mean, I think she's just exactly like her stories.
Oh, we are gonna learn so much.
It's like she opened the window and she clears out all the cobwebs and all the theories.
It's, um, sort of like riding a motorcycle, you know? You're so scared you can hardly breathe, but it's just so exciting.
Oh, God, I just feel so good about this.
Yeah, me, too.
[sighs.]
Are you expecting somebody? Um maybe.
Maybe? I'm finally gonna get to meet the guy - who owns the hardware store.
- Well, he owns several hardware stores, - a chain, actually.
- Oh.
Sounds like a very solid guy.
Well, yes, he is, which is a very welcome change, actually.
Are you seeing him, like, regular? Um, I don't know if I really want to talk to you about all this.
Why not? Because I don't think I like the idea of Elliot knowing everywhere I go and who I see.
- Oh, that's not why I asked.
- I know, but you see him and you talk to him.
Don't you think that sometimes we all know too much about each other, anyway? I think maybe I'll just keep Matt all to myself for a little while.
[bell dings.]
Oh, hi, Matt.
- Matt.
Hi.
- Hi.
Hey.
- Hi.
- Hiya.
Oh, um, Michael, this is Matt Enwright.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Steadman? Oh, he was my husband's business partner.
Oh.
We actually met at the workshop tonight.
- And you didn't know each other would be there? - No.
[giggles.]
- Well, that's funny.
- I know.
- Isn't it? - Yeah.
I guess so, yeah.
- [Woman.]
Hi, ready to order? - Oh, hi.
Oh, I'm starving.
- Hi, yeah.
- Oh, let's see.
Cheesecake.
Do you have cheesecake? - Cheesecake, please.
- Yes.
[phone rings.]
Hello? [Elliot.]
Hey, Mike, look, am I calling too late? What if I say yes? Then I'll hang up.
Listen, what are you wearing to Drentell's tomorrow? Oh, come on.
Are you serious? Yeah, yeah.
Come on.
Something conservative.
Maybe Hope's cranberry Leslie Fay suit.
Cranberry.
That's deep red, right? I'm hanging up now.
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike-- - Hi.
- Hi.
- Who was that? - Nobody.
Elliot.
How was class? Oh, um, Nancy was there.
She's taking the workshop, too.
Good for her.
I met her boyfriend.
The one who owns the hardware store? Mm, several hardware stores.
What's he like? Okay.
Serious? Could be.
Good for her.
Come to bed.
You've got to get up early for Drentell.
Yeah.
You could have a job tomorrow.
Probably not.
Don't worry.
If you really want it, you'll get it.
[Man.]
And that's how we wrap up the 32nd.
Hi, how are you? Do I look okay? [chatter.]
So, boys.
How are we doing? Oh, we're swell, Miles.
How's about you? Fine.
Glad you could make it.
Yeah, we were kind of wondering why you called.
Does a man need an excuse to call up friends? No.
What's that got to do with us? Two days ago, I was in Osaka, in a foundry where they make these huge temple bells.
Fascinating.
The Buddhist monks come and throw prayers etched on pieces of metal into the molten steel before they pour the bell.
When it cools and comes out of the mold, the master of the foundry strikes it once and only once before they deliver it to the temple.
I was there when they struck one of those bells.
It's the deepest sound you've ever heard.
You feel it here in the sternum, more than you hear it.
And you know what I heard in the reverberations of that ancient sound? Haven't a clue.
I heard a voice.
And the voice said "Hello.
My name is Mister Squeeze.
" [Elliott laughs.]
Across the International Date Line, getting my Zen adjusted, and I'm haunted by a radio commercial you guys did.
- Right.
- Profound.
- Right.
- Or trivial.
- Well - Depends on what you want to do about it, Miles.
We're making some changes.
What do you think? Um, looks cozy.
I'm trying to find the right ergonomic flow and get the maximum square footage.
The way this is coming along I'm going to have the space to bring in a new creative team.
Do tell.
Yes.
They'd go right about here.
[beep beep.]
Excuse me, boys.
Hi.
I'm Mr.
Drentell.
I have clients in my office [chortles.]
It's a great building plan.
I love this building! - He's jerking us, Elliott.
- No, he's not! - He's dancing with us, Mike.
- El, it's not even a job.
Oh, there's a job, all right.
Oh, man.
That guy's got such an attitude.
It's okay, man.
He can do it.
He can do that, man.
That's DAA out there, Mike.
This agency's so cool, they don't even have to be in New York.
We just gotta figure out what he wants us to do, that's all.
He wants us to grovel, Elliott.
- What? I can do that.
- What, so we can sit in his ergonomically designed workspace? Listen to him pontificate about how he re-invented appetizers? What's the matter with you? You like being in purgatory? He wants us to beg, Elliott.
He wants us to beg.
- Yeah? Well, so? - Yeah, well, so I got this trick knee.
Before I get down on it to beg, I have to know what I'm begging for.
- Hi.
- Hi.
How'd it go? Oh, it went.
How was Miles? Pompous.
Is there a job? Maybe.
Maybe there's a job, or maybe you'll get it? I don't know.
We're just gonna have to wait and see.
[dial tone.]
[sighs.]
[chain saw buzzing.]
[traffic sounds, tires screeching.]
[car motor racing.]
[jazz.]
[creating.]
The clock over the door stood at 2:43.
Harrison watched the progress of the minutes.
The second hand moved with the thoughtlessness of an underwater plant caught in a lethargic current.
Harrison carefully arranged himself on the stool and listened to the sad, tubercular sighing of the coffee urn.
Once again, his eyes were drawn back to the clock.
[jazz.]
Well, this isn't very interesting, is it? I don't understand.
Michael used to be very imaginative.
I'm very disappointed.
It lacks focus, intent, detail.
I'llsay.
Look at this.
He's got me reading a blank newspaper.
[scratching out.]
[jazz.]
The clock over the door stood at 2:43.
Harrison watched the progress of the minutes.
People seemed to aimlessly drift like lost, soulless leaves.
I know I told you there weren't any rules.
But could you tell me exactly why you felt you had to split an infinitive? [crunching.]
[sighs.]
[birds chirping.]
[jazz.]
People drifted through his field of vision like lost, soulless leaves.
The sounds of their shoes on the checkerboard tiles was like the dragging of monks' sandals.
He singled her out amid the motion.
No.
No, no, no.
The coffee shop was empty except for her.
She wore her ennui the way lesser women wore diamonds.
Her dress was the iridescent black of ravens' wings.
No, no, no, it wasn't.
[scratching out.]
Her dress reminded him of rich summer burgundy.
Port.
Sangria.
Geez.
[scratching out.]
Her frock was the color of polished emeralds.
As opposed to what, unpolished emeralds? [scratching out.]
He approached the woman in the blue dress.
Their eyes met, and they folded themselves into the waiting leather of the booth.
[leather crunches.]
The rain in the window streaked a pattern along her face.
No, no, no, no, no.
The sun through the window bleached-- No, no, no, no.
Neon blinked beyond the window at her side.
- Nice dress.
- He said.
- I'm in mourning.
- She replied.
- For what? - For life.
Sorrow hung about her like a wet chemise.
- What's the point? - She asked the air.
We move through life trapped by time and events.
Our empty days pile up like discarded socks in God's hamper.
She was depressed.
[Nancy, reading.]
"She was never able to figure out "why he had chosen that particular moment to leave.
"Did he make up his mind during the drive home, "or did he decide to leave "in the split second before he told her? "He packed a few things in a small gray bag and left.
"Was she supposed to stop him? Was she supposed to want to stop him? "He left, and later, she couldn't remember "if they'd said goodbye or kissed or shook hands.
"The only thing she could remember "was how dark the house seemed after he'd left.
"She remembered going from room to room, turning on all the lights.
" "If he hadn't failed the driving test, "he would not be faced with the humiliating "and tactical nightmare of kissing her good night "while his mother sat parked at the curb in the station wagon.
" "But it would be sunny outside the theater, "and she wasn't ready to give up the dream, "give up this cool cave where things worked out, "life had resolutions, and people could actually tell each other how they felt.
" "He moved through life trapped by time and events.
" Our empty days, piling up like discarded socks in God's hamper.
[Michael.]
She was depressed.
We struggle, but what does it get us? Perhaps nothing.
Perhaps love.
She looked at him and smiled.
You're a funny sort of a guy, aren't you? It was a sad smile, just the same.
But I'm afraid we met a lifetime too late.
Door of the coffee shop opened with the sound of a sad bell.
- [bell rings.]
He took his eyes off the woman and watched a man walk in.
[Woman laughing.]
Clive.
- Rebecca! - [Woman screams.]
I can explain everything.
Really, I can.
That's the problem, isn't it? - We met-- - She whispered.
At a carnival.
"Socks in God's hamper"? It was a metaphor.
That would be one way to describe it, yes.
How long did you work on it? - Not too long.
- How long is not too long? Uh, maybe a couple of hours.
Then a couple of hours is too long.
- You really worked on this assignment.
- Yes, I did.
But I didn't want you to work.
I wanted you to write.
You revised it, polished it.
Weren't you here last week when I talked about the dangers of being cute, being clever? - Yes, I was here.
- Well, couldn't you hear the difference between your dialogue and, say, Nancy's? Well, this gives us a chance to look at some common pitfalls.
Let's start with Michael's dialogue.
What kind of impression did it have on you? Well, it didn't sound like people-- at least, not people in this century.
[Man.]
Yeah.
Twerp.
- It wasn't that bad.
- Yeah, for you.
They liked yours.
Yeah, but it's not about being liked.
It's about being better writers.
What did you think? Mmm, I thought it was rather, well, studied.
- [laughs.]
- Studied.
Um, the woman and the man she shot, who were they supposed to be? - What do you mean? - I mean, who were they? Um, who were they modeled after? Um, I-- They weren't supposed to be anybody.
I mean, I made them up.
They were just characters.
- Honestly.
- Mmm.
I mean, you know, like in my story.
I mean, everyone in the class probably thought that I made those characters up, too.
I mean, you were the only one that could've known differently.
Yeah, I guess so.
I talk to Hope, and you talk to Elliot, and Hope talks to you.
And we probably know more about each other than we think.
We probably know things that we really shouldn't know.
I don't think so.
I mean, what, do we have secret lives or something? - No, but we have private ones.
- Yeah, but, I mean, you have to write about what you know, otherwise you just I mean, you did it.
Yeah, I know.
But that was different.
See? - Why? How was that different? - Well, it was different because I was writing-- - I'm sorry I'm late.
You ready to go? - Yeah.
Sure.
That's all right.
- Hi, Michael.
- Let me give you some money for the check.
- That's okay.
I got it.
- You sure? Yeah.
Piece of cheesecake.
I can afford that.
- How you doing, Matt? - All right.
Thanks.
- Bye.
We'll talk later.
- Bye.
Okay.
- See you.
- Bye-bye.
- [chatter, laughter.]
- [door bells jingle.]
- So how's the workshop going? - Oh, okay.
- Oh, yeah? You knocking them dead? - Not exactly.
- How's Nancy doing? - Better than me.
No kidding? Hey, uh, is she still seeing this guy? - Which guy? - Oh, you know, the hardware guy.
- The one that owns the hardware store.
- Oh, he owns more than one.
- Whoo-hoo! A hardware magnate, huh? - Mm-hmm.
- So what's the story? - How do I know what the story is? 'Cause you see her at class.
You see them together.
You know what I'm asking.
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.
Yeah, they seem kind of together.
I mean, Nancy's looking prettier.
Have you noticed that? Not really.
I saw her at Melissa's party when Drentell and I had our little slap fight.
Geez, she looked beautiful, man.
Mike, could you do me a favor? - Keep an eye on Nancy, and if-- - Come on, Elliot-- Come on.
Keep an eye on her.
If she does something, just let me know, okay? If she does what? Well, if she starts wearing a man's wristwatch.
See, in college, the first time I went away for a couple of days, she kept my watch, and she wore it all the time, 'cause she always wanted a part of me that was touching her.
You know? Anyway, I got back, and we made love, and it was, like, 3:36 in the afternoon.
And the reason I know it was 3:36 is because she kept the watch on.
She was, like, totally naked except for this-- this big clunky Timex and this black leather band.
Anyway, it got to a certain point where the watch, you know-- it kind of smashed against the sideboard-- you know, the bed, and the crystal broke.
That's all.
It takes a licking, but it keeps on ticking.
Just tell me if she starts wearing his watch, all right? Okay.
If I give you one of Ivy Dunbar's books, will you ask her to autograph it for me, or will that jeopardize your cool too much? We're not exactly on those terms.
Oh, it's great that you're writing again, Mike.
- Yeah, right.
- You know what I was thinking about the other day? - The Adventures of Milton Penny.
- [laughs.]
Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah.
I took the pictures with an Instamatic.
- Oh, God.
- You wrote the cartoon balloons.
- Mm-hmm.
We should do it again, Mike.
I take much better pictures now.
All my writing may be stuck back with Milton Penny.
- Oh, come on.
- No.
So far, it's been called artificial, overly clever, and dishonest.
- Is it? - Thank you.
I was just asking.
I'm a little rusty, that's all.
And I thought it was gonna be a more technically advanced workshop.
I didn't there'd be a bunch of novices who may be burning time on minor details.
Minor details like honesty.
You want me to turn the light on? You'll see much better here.
- Mike, no, no.
Please don't-- - Really.
No, let me just get the light for you.
Elliot called.
Drentell invited you to a shoot.
- Drentell invited us? - That's what Elliot said.
Honey, wait a minute.
Did he say that Drentell called him, or did he say that it was the other way around? - I think he said he called Drentell.
- [groans.]
Damn it.
What's he trying to prove? - Is this about the job? - Look, Hope, there is not a job.
There is an opportunity for humiliation.
He shouldn't have called him.
Michael, would you mind explaining just what's going on? - There is a job, isn't there? - Maybe.
[scoffs.]
Excuse me, but why don't you want it? Because it's not that simple, Hope.
But wouldn't it be a better job than Pressman's? You're always talking about the great work they do at DAA and what a sexy shop it is-- Look, let me tell you something.
It wouldn't have cost me anything to work at Pressman's, okay? It would've been just like Bernstein-Fox, except I'd get a discount on garden tools.
But Miles Drentell.
Miles Drentell.
Every day, I'd have to smile and bathe in his arrogance, and I don't know if I can do it.
You understand that? Yes, I understand.
But, Michael, what good does that do us? We are still racking up debt, we are digging ourselves deeper with every check, and I don't see you trying to get a job.
I mean, if not this one, than something else.
I mean, this is just not the way it was supposed to happen.
Not for us.
And that frightens me.
Can you understand that? [exhales.]
- [Michael.]
Harrison heard the woman laugh.
- [Woman laughing.]
- First date.
- She said with an edge in her voice.
Their fight fresh in his mind, Harrison tried to concentrate on the menu, but his eyes were constantly drawn to the couple in the other booth.
Who were they? What gave them the right to be so happy? Harrison resented the happiness of these strangers, and it bothered him that their passion should make him feel so uncomfortable.
Why? [zipping sound.]
[scratching out.]
You probably wonder why I'm telling all of this to you, a perfect stranger.
- The girl said.
- But, really, I found that strangers are the only ones that you can trust.
Or do you think me wrong? - He told her-- - No.
And she went on with her story, but Harrison's mind wandered.
His eyes constantly drawn back to the couple.
He watched them kiss, and he felt it ripple through him, startling him.
He tried to think of something else-- something to distract him.
The woman's slender arm rested on the table.
At her wrist was a man's watch.
Was it her lover's, or did she buy it for herself? What tight burst caused the silver crack in the crystal? Did she take it off when they made love, or did she leave it on-- time strapped to her wrist? Harrison heard the ticking in his head-- faint, crystalline, but impossible to ignore.
The sound conjured images he knew were forbidden secrets set to the rhythmic pace of seconds being divided, defined, captured.
But whose secrets were they? The ticking grew louder.
"He thought the sound would give him away, "like the man in The Tell-Tale Heart, "so he concentrated on the menu, counting the periods that separated the entrees from their prices.
" I like the watch.
[students chattering.]
Hi.
Hi, there.
You did better.
I'm glad you liked it.
Well, I didn't say I liked all of it.
I said I liked the watch.
That was real.
You know, if you can do that, Michael, there's really no excuse for all that other crap you had wrapped around it.
You've got some terrible bad habits, and you have to learn the difference between eloquence and masturbation.
But you did manage to get one small thing right.
That's a miracle for anyone, and you should be happy about it.
Just don't try to ride it too far.
Michael, all right.
I wanna say this to you once, and I don't wanna have to mention it again.
I don't know if you wanted to hurt me or not, but you did.
- You had no right.
- Nancy, I-- No, Elliot shouldn't have told you about the watch, but you had no right to use it.
So the next time you wanna be clever, use your own damn life and leave mine alone.
[pop.]
[Man.]
Cut! - Whoo.
- Whoo.
Right.
Let's rewind the playback.
- Go back to number 1.
- [tape rewinding.]
Atmosphere, offstage right, please.
So you've decided to grace us with your presence.
Miles, did you really think we wouldn't come? No.
Come into the circle, boys.
Miles, what is this? A new PSA for Girl Scouts? [babbles.]
Sakamoto Office Technology.
13 million in network prime time.
Sort of a mid-level account for us.
Who's the, uh-- Who's the geek in the shirt? - Trevor Bundt.
- Trevor Bundt? - The director? - He directs actual movies.
Yeah.
I also let him direct my commercials.
Why is he bothering with a thing like this if he can be making real movies, Miles? [Drentell.]
He's getting paid 50 grand for three days' work.
It doesn't get any more real than that.
Maybe he thinks some of his epics are people's short-term memory problems.
Don't tell me Michael thinks there's a distinction between work and art.
- Yes, I do.
- Uh-oh.
He's such a card.
So, Miles, do we get to meet the babes or what? Go.
Be my guest.
Thanks, Miles.
Steadman, you got this puritanical hitch in your shoulders, like an Amish in Atlantic City.
- Relax.
- I'm doing fine, Miles.
Good.
Ever wonder what a mind like his would come up with given these kind of resources? So, Miles.
Michael.
Have you found anybody for that empty office yet? What empty office? Oh, right.
Not yet.
Any suggestions? [Man.]
Rehearsal in five, people! Let's settle down! You know, Miles, I don't like you.
I'm not kidding.
I mean it.
I really don't like you.
[sighs.]
I'm a little hazy on what it is you expect me to do with this information.
I'm just being honest.
Am I supposed to be hurt or something? No.
I'm just telling you the truth.
No, you said you were being honest, not truthful.
You told me your opinion, you didn't give me any facts, and your opinion, as such, has no weight, no significance, no relevance.
But I do find the fact that you think I should care what your opinion of me is rather pathetic.
Sorry if that's insulting to you.
I'm just being honest.
Uh, all right, people.
Let's get back to work here.
Come on.
- Mike.
Mike.
- Come on, people.
We don't have all day.
- Let's get it set up here.
- Can you give me a hint, - a clue about what you were trying to accomplish? - Just forget it.
Forget it? After the heat you gave me over Pressman, you pull something like this? - Yeah.
Pressman was different.
- Yeah, damn right it was different, Mike.
That was over a job.
This is over personalities.
Now, Mike, you were willing to eat anything Pressman was gonna dish out.
Anything.
But here we could actually do some good, Mike.
I don't get you.
Look, Elliot, I'm not like you.
Maybe I wish I was.
But I can't fake it with this guy.
It just burns too much.
Mike, he knows that, and he loves it.
It's part of the deal.
Mike, there's a price.
No matter what you do, there's gonna be a price.
So you know what you do, Mike? You know what you do? You find out what's important, and you make boxes.
In this box, you have what it takes to work with somebody like Miles, and in this box, you have what you take home to Janey and to Hope.
That's how you get through.
So that's the key to happiness, huh? A little self-induced schizophrenia? You want a soul like a perfect ball of light, then go to Osaka with some of Drentell's Buddhists.
You wanna have a life here, today, then pick your fights and learn to compromise.
Now, what do you want for lunch? [sighs.]
All set.
You know, I've been meaning to ask you something.
Will Elliot be getting any credit on this book? No.
Why should he? Well, Ethan said his dad is the one who told him the story about the prince.
- Well, yeah-- - Well, if it was Elliot's story I mean, it's Elliot's story, but it's my book.
Oh.
Oh.
Hi.
Hello.
- Are you real busy? - Not inordinately.
- You want an apple? - No, thanks.
Um I just came by to tell you that I'm not gonna be able to keep taking the workshop.
I see.
What kind of a problem are we talking about here? No problem.
It's just not working out.
Uh-huh.
This isn't because I roughed you up in class the other night, is it? No.
It's just, uh Can we just say that there are conflicts? How's that? Sounds plausible.
Here you go.
I'm sorry.
Did you want me to talk you out of quitting? That's a tad clichéd for me.
Besides, writing isn't that important.
- How can you say that? - Because I'm a writer.
I can never tell if you're kidding me or not, you know? I mean, I think a writer I think a writer's the greatest thing in the world you can be.
What would you give to be a great writer? Anything.
Anything? [chuckles.]
You see? You know, Michael, if a writer disappears, it doesn't even leave a hole.
But if a wife disappears, or a father, or a friend When you find the proper scale of things, that's when your writing will change.
You could be good, but a guilty conscience makes a lousy editor.
So if there are demands on you in the real world, you're right.
You should attend to them.
Writing isn't a replacement for living.
If you don't believe me, ask my ex-husband.
So why do you do it? I don't have any choice in the matter.
Do you? [knock at door.]
- Hi.
- Hello.
Can I come in for a minute? - Well, I was just-- - It's not gonna take very long.
I just wanna get something cleared up.
Okay.
The thing in the story-- the watch-- That was a shock-- you reading it in front of Ivy and the others.
I didn't use that to hurt you.
That wasn't my intention.
- No, it was careless.
- Nancy-- No, it's just that now, every time that I think about that time with Elliot and me, there's this third person there watching us.
It's just that that afternoon It's just that it's changed now.
I'm sorry.
And I don't think you'd be mad at Elliot if you knew why he told me.
No, no.
See, that is nothing for you to worry about.
That is between me and Elliot.
I mean, I was angry at you for using it, but mostly, I was hurt that Elliot told you.
The thing is I changed the story to keep from hurting you.
I faked it.
I went to something safe and full of noise.
I just couldn't hide everything.
What were you trying to hide? You're right.
We do know too much about each other.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What's cooking? - Chicken oh, my gosh.
It used to be chicken paprikash, but then I realized we don't have any paprika.
Pretty damn sneaky of you being nice to me when I'm angry at you.
Yeah.
Is it working? Not yet.
I don't want this to come as a shock to you or anything, but, um, sometimes I can be pretty thoughtless.
I wish it was a shock.
Look, I didn't want you to see me crawl to Drentell.
I didn't want you to see me turn into somebody other than the man that you married.
It wouldn't have made any difference to me.
Oh.
Well, maybe that's part of what was bothering me, you know? I made promises to you.
I don't want you to let me off the hook.
I don't want you to sell for 10 cents on the dollar.
My husband, the blue-light special.
I'm going in to talk to Miles tomorrow.
Is that something you want to do? Yes, I want to do it, because it's time I do it.
And what about the writing? The writing.
I could take workshops from now till doomsday.
I could wear down enough pencils to make a forest.
I could never make a sentence that means half as much to me as you do.
- Steadman.
- Miles.
Come take a look.
What do you think? It's very hot.
But? But I don't think it's gonna sell a lot of copiers.
A couple thousand dollars' worth of print ads in the trade magazines will sell the copier.
- So what's the point of the commercial? - You tell me.
You win more awards, you get more clients, you make more money.
That's the point.
A stupid way to make a living, isn't it? It has its advantages.
Yes, it does.
That's true.
What can I do for you, Michael? What do you want from me? - Something you're not gonna give me.
- What's that? An invitation.
I want you to ask us if we'd like to work for you.
Instead of what? Instead of our begging for it.
You ask me, I ask you.
Either way, you end up here.
What's the difference? I took your advice, Miles.
I read Nishiro on The Art of Management.
He tells this story of these two samurai warriors standing in the rain.
Their swords are drawn.
They're ready to strike.
But neither of them moves.
They just stand there in the storm, poised.
Why? You tell me.
Because whoever moves first loses the advantage.
So they both stand there getting soaked, accomplishing nothing.
Stupid way to make a living, isn't it? Why don't the two of you come in, and we'll have a more substantive discussion? That sounds like a good idea.
It is.
Excuse me? Sure.
Remember, you came to me.
[Michael.]
"Watching his straight back walk away, "I realized how busy the office had been beyond us.
"I hadn't noticed it.
"I'd been aware of the sound, but not a human one.
"I had turned the sounds of the office "into the sounds of a storm-- "rain, thunder.
"If I had closed my eyes, I might have seen the lightning reflected on our swords.
" It's about time.
Closed-Captioned By J.
R.
Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA And dance by the light of the moon