Tin Star (2017) s01e01 Episode Script

Fun and (S)laughter

1 [METAL SQUEAKING] [METAL SQUEAKING] [ENGINEs REVVING] Where are we going? Calgary.
[MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO] [BEEPING] Oh, fuck.
[ENGINES REVVING] [METAL SQUEAKING] [SOFTMUSIC] [ENGINES STOP] Stay in the car [BROODING MUSIC] - [WIND WHOOSHING] - [SQUEAKING CONTINUES] I need a wee wee.
Can you hold it? - I'm gonna pee my pants! - Dad, Petey needs the loo.
Not now love, all right? I need a wee wee.
Not now pal, I'm sorry.
He's 5 years old.
30 seconds for a piss behind the car.
- I need a wee wee.
- I said no! - Dad! - I'm going to pee in my pants! Hang on, hang on.
30 seconds.
Dad! [GUNSHOT] [GASPING] All right, then.
If you're up there.
Keep me sober today.
I dare you.
- Amen.
- Uh-uh.
[BIRDS CHIRPING OUTSIDE] - [WATER RUNNING] - [SPITS] Fuck off.
[SOFT MUSIC] [BREATHING HEAVILY] Mornin'.
Morning, Dad.
Do you want pancakes? All right.
What do you want on them? - Bacon and chocolate.
- All right.
I'll put some cabbage on 'em and all.
[GRUNTING] - That was exhausting.
- I know.
I won! You did win.
Most definitely.
Pete? Pete Pete you want chocolate or lemon and sugar? Bacon and chocolate? ANNA: Dad? - What - Dad? What Dad! Daaaad! - [LOUD FOOTSTEPS] - What? Why can't you answer me? Why can't you exercise the common courtesy of entering the same vague arrondissement - as the person you're shouting at? - What are you on about? - What are you wearing? - It's just my pyjamas.
- Are you wearing those to school? - Of course not, of course not.
- You don't drink coffee - Shut up, go away.
Go away! [OMINOUS MUSIC] I hate it here.
For God's sake don't tell your father.
- He thinks he's Pat Garrett.
- This isn't his fault.
[PETEY LAUGHING] - It's not anybody's fault.
- Coming here was your idea.
Hello, little man.
Come here to me, come here to me, come here to me - Have a bit of that.
- How many pancakes did you eat! - Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
- Dad's birthday's in December.
- His sober birthday.
- I'm two.
- Oh.
- I'm proud of you.
- ANNA: Come on, let's go, Petey.
- You're not that man anymore.
- ANNA: Hey, where's your stuff? - PETEY: I don't know.
- ANNA: I'll found this, let's go.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER IN THE BACKGROUND] Get out of here.
Where's my gun? In your pocket! Peew! Peew! [IMITATES GUNSHOT] [LIVELY MUSIC] Fuck me? Shall I honk the horn? - These things charge though, right? - It's not a moose, Dad.
- [HORN HONKING] - Oi, oi, oi! Shouldn't you have a proper car? This is a properly green community, it's one of the things I love about here.
I'm growing up in the arse-end of nowhere.
- You said "arse".
- She did but she shouldn't have.
- Why can't we go back to London? - Cause London's shit.
We'd probably be living in some suburb.
Like Hainault.
Is that what you want? You want to live in Rayner's fucking Lane, do you? - You said "fuck".
- I know I did but I shouldn't have.
In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a snowboarder - Oh, yeah? - I cannot think of anything more pointless than hiking.
And I'm not a middle-aged man who likes midge-infested rivers and fly-fishing.
I don't want to squander my youth here! - Aww.
- Marry a fucking lumberjack! Have kids and sell jam at the county fair! I want to be like a a photojournalist.
Or an archeologist.
Or an agent for change.
Fuckin' hell.
[SCOFFS] It seems like just last week that all you wanted was a tutu - and pair of pink jeggings.
- Humour is an avoiding stretegy.
- Drive slowly.
- Yep.
And it may handle like a golf cart but it is a cop car and you shouldn't be driving it.
Do you know how many police move here from home? - No.
- Loads.
So? So, look around you.
It's paradise, right? It's the most boring place on earth.
- Well, it's good boring, isn't it? - I miss my friends.
- You don't have any friends.
Right.
- I had friends.
In London.
- I was happy there.
- Well, give it a chance, love.
All right, let's go.
Bye.
Let's go.
- WOMAN #1: Morning, Chief.
- MAN: Chief.
WOMAN #2: Get a job! WOMAN: Morning, Chief.
[SKATEBOARD RATTLING] - Chief? - Hi.
How you doin'? Are you all right? Hey there, Chief.
[GROANS] Anything to report? Tourist sprained her ankle on the trail by Forty Mile Creek.
- Is that it? - Yep.
See, that's what I love about this place.
She was running from a grizzly.
- Fuck me.
She all right? - Yeah, Mum and cub.
Lady must have missed the signs.
But no one was attacked.
- Wel, shouldn't we do something? - We put signs up.
No, I mean like shoot it? We don't just shoot bears, Chief not unless they make an unprovoked attack.
[KEYBOARD CLACKING] - Feet.
- Mm? Sorry.
[CLEARS THROAT] I'll let you know if anything else happens.
- All right.
- You can always go fishing.
- Fishing? - That's what the last police chief did.
He left his fishing stuff over there before he passed.
You can help yourself.
- He wasn't killed by a bear, was he? - No, no, he was dead from exposure by the time the bears got to him.
That's a joke, right? He's joking, right? Yeah, he's joking.
Council couldn't afford him.
Well, I'm not going anywhere.
- Chief? - Yep? Be careful out there, okay? Top left.
- [GROANS] - [MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] Oh, no Oh, no, no, no, no Bugger! [WINCES] [WATER STREAMING] [BRANCHES CREAKING] Hello I'm Angela Worth.
I'm the new police chief's wife.
How do you do? Do you fancy some burned fudge? Or would you prefer a fist fuck? Happy Birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Jim Happy birthday to you Keep coming back Jim.
Alcoholic.
Addict.
ALL: Hi, Jim.
Two years sober today.
[SNIFFLES] Fuck knows how.
Um I know I'm supposed to say something to a Higher Power but bollocks to all that.
But thank Father Greg for the cake.
Suzy.
So, I don't normally talk at the meetings I'm usually hiding at the back but here goes What can I tell you about being a drunk? I was born frightened, I think.
I grew up frightened.
And drinking took the fear away.
But also it took everything else away.
I didn't care about you.
I didn't care about me.
I didn't care about my family.
Didn't care about anything, expect getting what I wanted.
And if you got in the way of that I'd kill you.
[CLAMORING] - [DINGS] - Woo! [INDISTINCT CHATTER] Thanks for trying.
May I? Be my guest.
This is good.
- It's not.
It's horrible.
- Butterscotch? - Fudge.
Buggered fudge.
- English? Irish.
My husband's English.
Mm, come to check up on the colonies? [LAUGHS] We live here.
Oh.
- For God's sake don't attempt to chew.
- [LAUGHING] - Stop.
- How many have you sold? None.
How much for the whole lot? - The whole lot? - It's for a good cause, isn't it? Ah that's no, no, that's awfully kind of you but I just bought ten jars of apple sauce from the last stall.
Fudge'll make a nice gift.
You're the new police chief's wife, aren't you? If I were you, I'd want to be a sellout success at the church fete.
Sorry.
Who are you? Truth is, I'm here for work and my children are across the country with their father, who's an asshole, which makes it worse.
So, I thought maybe that whole entire tray of homemade "buggered" fudge might make that horrendous hotel seem less like The Shining.
Why didn't you say so? Here.
Knock yourself out and your teeth.
Welcome to Little Big Bear.
- Elizabeth Bradshaw.
- Angela.
- Thank you, Angela.
- You're welcome.
- Cheerio.
- Toodle-oo.
Who wants a healthier future for our children and a stronger economy? We all do, through Northstream Oil sands innovation initiative.
Come see how we're innovating for a cleaner future Northstream Oil cares.
You think I'm paid to say that? I am.
You think I'd lie for a lousy paycheck? I wouldn't.
As V.
P.
of Stakeholder Relations I came to Little Big Bear to hear you.
To hear your questions.
Your hopes.
Your fears.
Because, ultimately this is your town.
Your valley.
And your decision.
Bullshit.
They started building that damn thing months ago.
Northstream Oil wants to build a refinery in the middle of nowhere because it's too big a health risk to put next to a major city.
Northstream chose this site because it's the perfect nexus for oil sands petroleum into the US.
And our safety standards far exceed - the legal requirements.
- What about crime? [CROWD AGREEING] The chief is right.
It's happened in Fort McMurray and Grand Prairie.
Migrant oil workers from all over the world, pouring into little towns like ours after long, backbreaking shifts looking for somewhere - to spend their cash.
- Well, my bar, for starters! My paint's peeling and my mortgage is hurting.
So, you guys want to keep your local watering hole open - [WHISTLING] - I need more customers.
They're not gonna stop at a - few beers and a game of pool.
- Half the shops in this town are closed, and the other half are struggling to stay open! - There's no future here! - Woah, woah, woah! Woah! What does the police chief think? You've worked big cities, surely you can't be worried? I'm new here.
I was just concerned.
- Afraid of a little crime, Chief? - [LAUGHTER] Or are you better at catching trout than crooks? [LAUGHTER] All right then, well If you want my opinion, I think it's a shit idea.
If it was up to me, I'd say no.
Well, it isn't.
Police Chief's job's not to interfere in decisions like this.
God dammit, you just rolled in here.
You weren't born here, you weren't raised here You haven't got the right.
Me, I've got no rights at all.
I'm just here to protect you.
But this town relies almost entirely on a modest tourist industry, doesn't it? So if you're so keen on protecting it, why is there a tourist in the hospital and a grizzly bear on the loose, while you were out fishing all day? Seems to me the chief should be out there shooting bears not in here shooting his mouth off! [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] [SIGHS] How'd I do? Well, this always goes the same way.
If someone won't sign over their land for company access, we just build our roads on their neighbour's property.
Then they get all the tanker noise and traffic fumes and none of the cash.
What about the rancher, Lyle? Comes from an oil family, he'll know industry tactics.
Then there's the doctor with the chip on her shoulder, and the Police Chief with something to prove You're here to get a bunch of boxes ticked.
Don't make things complicated.
[DRILLING] [INDISTINCT CHATTER] - Care to fill me in? - I'm taking responsible social action.
Right.
You've got a dead duck in a plastic bag.
They're poisoning our river! I know, it's our river now, is it? And the only reason the principal bollocked me for bringing a dead duck into biology class is because Northstream Oil just donated money to the school.
Really? Anna.
Is this going to happen to us? [TRUCK HORN HONKING] What did Bradshaw say? She said it had probably flown through a wind farm.
How'd you know it didn't die of bird flu? I don't know what it died of.
Yet.
Put your belt on.
[CAR HONKING] Fuck me.
- Oi! - [CARS HONKING] [DOOR OPENS] [HUBUB] [DOOR CLOSES] Excuse me, um - Mrs - Bradshaw.
Mrs Bradshaw.
Could you get your truck off my road.
Your road? The Municipal District's road.
And we have full use.
Oh, fair point.
But, um, you know, next time what if it squashes a school bus or something? How you doing Dani, all right? What's all this then? Mr.
Lyle and I are just having a private meeting.
Oh.
Yeah, squidge up.
[SIGHS] She's trying to get your signature, excuse me, on something? - Yeah? - Maybe.
You got a lawyer mate? Have you got a lawyer? I don't know.
This man's in no fit state to be signing any legal contracts.
- What do you take me for? - I'm not taking you for anything, love.
Who's in no fit state? - Well, Mrs - Bradshaw.
Mrs Bradshaw is trying to get your brother to sign some sort of deal.
Just leave him out of this, you understand me? Elizabeth and me were trying to do a little deal together.
I go and take a piss, I come back here and you crawled in.
Now, what business is this of yours? Ah, I do apologise Mr Lyle, I didn't realise that you were here.
I'll be in my office.
We can finish your deal there.
All right.
You can buy yourself a dirt track but you can't stop me from closing our road to your traffic, if it presents a health and safety risk to the residents of this town and their kids.
Elizabeth.
You may well have a personal opinion about our use of the road but you're powerless to stop it.
Oh, we'll see about that won't we? The police chief just knocked twenty-five thousand dollars off the deal we offered you.
Hey.
Don't forget your duck.
What was all that about? I took some socially responsible action.
[GRUNTING] - God! Jesus, f - Get your hands in the air! Oh, really? Denise Get your hands in the air, Lyle, now! Okay, put the gun what? Put the gun away.
If you don't arrest him, no one's gonna respect your authority here.
I'm British, Denise.
We don't do guns.
Put the gun away.
- Dad - Put the gun away.
Put the gun away! [SIGHS] [SNIFFLES] I think you and I we need to have a quiet little talk.
- Are you going to arrest me? - Do I need to? - Up your ass you fat Limey.
- Oh, kock it off Danny, really [GROANS] - Jesus.
- [GROANING] Oh, fuck! - Come on, here we go, here we go.
- Go on, you're on the side walk.
- You can't win the side walk.
- [COUGHING] Hey.
- All right.
- [RETCHES] Just leave us the hell alone, will you? Oh, Christ, you're not gonna puke, are you? Keep going, then.
[RETCHING] Nothing to see here.
- You got a tissue, love? - Yeah.
[MAN MUMBLING] Now, Oil workers from Britain to British Columbia, are gonna start pouring into that facility, and all of them looking for the nearest town to get fucked up in.
And the nearest town is Sorry.
How can I help you? How can I help you? I'm not following this at all.
Well, follow this: I'm Head of Security.
And our workers are gonna be subject to a zero tolerance policy on drugs, alcohol gambling, prostitution and violence.
Believe me, we're we're watching them.
But the reality is we're counting on your cooperation to make sure things go smoothly.
Smoothly for who? Your only hope of keeping law and order is to cooperate fully with Northstream Oil.
That's why we pay you.
- You don't pay me.
The council pays me.
- With our money.
You know this, this shit-heel town couldn't afford a police chief without us.
Door! Northstream has blood on its hands.
I've been up North.
I've seen what they've done.
[SIGHS] Well, you think getting pissed is going to help? I filed a report.
Submitted it to the Federal Health Department.
And within three months, half a dozen so called colleagues have signed a document discrediting me.
I'm ruined.
[BOTTLES CLINKING] [LIQUID POURS] Can I make you a coffee? I'm scared.
[SHIVERING] I'm really, really scared.
Can you stay with me? - Just - Jesus, Suzy.
- They're following me.
- Who is? [SOBBING] Just don't leave me, okay? [SNIFFLES] We should go see your kids.
I'll get Father Greg tomorrow come round and take you to a meeting.
I don't need a fucking meeting.
I don't need a meeting.
Just go.
Just fucking go.
Go.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls Ready to go.
Five four three two one Go! - [CROWD CLAMORING] - They're going down.
Which duck is gonna win? It looks like a pretty tight race to me.
[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER SPEAKER] It says here you poked him in the eye.
- I tried to talk to him.
- Then kicked him in the balls.
It was just a tap, love.
His brother lodged a complaint with the council.
Use of undue force.
I think you're gonna get a warning.
Jesus, Jim, no wonder everyone's staring at us.
Is there anything else you want to tell me about? The Tribal Elders are pissed.
Wny what's he done now? You know the casino at the edge of town? Yeah, the one they built on the reservation? It's not a reservation, love.
It's a reserve.
Reservation is American apparently.
Anyways, my father borrowed a lot of money to get that build.
So? You need the refinery to get people into the casino.
If you're against the refinery, you're against their casino.
I thought people loved the police in Canada.
Yeah, untill you got here, evidently.
We came here to get away from the wreckage, not make more of it.
We agreed, peace.
Unit One, this is Unit Three.
Come in.
- We got a 10-38 on Moose Mountain.
- [BEEPS] I'm British Nick, I'm not up on the 10 codes, - can I have it in English? - Just get here, Chief.
Quick.
Right.
[SIREN WAILING] [TENSE MUSIC] [DOOR CLOSES] You touched anything? Where do elves live? - In the woods.
- How come I never see them? They only come out at night.
- Are you okay? - Mm-mh.
[FIRE CRACKING] [BIRD SQUAWKING] If she was planning to top herself, she wouldn't have done it after a glass of fucking Rioja.
And she'd have told me.
She trusted me You know how many alcoholics commit suicide? No note.
No call.
She just drives to a lonely lay-by and blows her brains out? I don't buy it.
All I know is that Suzy was going after Northstream.
And after that she was blacklisted.
There's something [BEEPING] [PHONE BUZZING] - Hello.
- What if she didn't kill herself? The coroner agreed it was suicide.
Yeah, well, something's not right here.
You ever worked a homicide? - [WATER RUNNING] - [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] Here.
[OMINOUS MUSIC] [ALARM CLOCK TICKING] Elves [VIBRATING] - [HISSING] - [SCREAMING] [GASPING] I'll go, love.
- It's 5 in the morning, mate.
- There's a monster.
You all right? [CREAKING] What's going on? - There's someone outside.
- What? Get dressed.
Get dressed.
- How soon can you get here? - DENISE: Twenty minutes.
- Something wrong, Chief? - As soon as you can, then.
[BEEPING] [GUNSHOT] Fuck.
[GLASS SHATTERING] [COCKS GUN] - Oh, Jesus, Jim.
- Come on.
Fuck! Dad.
- Yeah, I'll do it.
- Good girl.
Right, this is what we are gonna, all right? I'm gonna start the car, I'm gonna put the door up And I'm gonna drive right out, straight out.
I want you to duck down, all right tuck right down, and stay like this, - right, see you do it? - You have to get down.
Get down.
- That's it.
- [ENGINES START] All right.
Oh, Jeez, I told you to fix that thing! Stay down, stay down.
[ENGINES REVVING] Where are we going? Calgary.
- What just happened there, Jim.
- I don't know, love.
[PHONE RINGING] - Everything okay, Chief? - Yeah.
Be a sniper's bullet in the front room.
I found it.
Also broken window, ground floor.
Fire damage to the downstairs bathroom.
We contained it.
And an empty briefcase on the porch.
- Nick's checking the perimeter now.
- Good.
[BEEPING] Oh, fuck.
[ENGINES REVVING] [METAL SQUEAKING] [ENGINES SHUT OFF] You stay in the car, love.
- I need a wee wee.
- Can you hold it? Petey, I don't think there's a loo here.
- I'm gonna pee my pants! - Dad, Petey needs the loo.
Not now love, all right? I need a wee wee.
Not now pal, I'm sorry.
He's five years-old! 30 seconds for a piss behind the car.
[BREATHING HEAVILY] - I need a wee wee.
- I said no! - Dad! - I'm going to pee in my pants! [BREATHING HEAVILY] Dad! [GUNSHOT] [SPLASHES] [GASPING] [HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING] He was only five.
[SNIFFLES] [WATER RUNNING]