Todd & the Book of Pure Evil (2010) s01e03 Episode Script
Rock N' Roll Zombies Know Best
I got a great idea.
All right.
Goth chicks like it in the basement.
What was that noise? It's only the, uh, furnace, Anthony.
Don't be afraid.
Hey, Marcy! What's goin' on? Hello? Hey, come on! Come on, open the door! Aaaahhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhhh! Ahhhhhhh! Oh, God! In the last five days, these five students have gone missing.
My theory? It has something to do with the book.
Well, maybe they just quit school.
That's your theory? Think about it.
If they quit school, then they have no reason to show up.
Try not to think so hard, Todd, you'll give yourself an aneurism.
Todd may actually have a point.
Hannah agrees with Todd, why am I not surprised? Just because something inexplicable happens doesn't mean the book is responsible, Jenny.
Is the book responsible for you being a total witch? I don't know why Jenny thinks I'm such a loser.
Listen up Todd, if your goal is to gently caress Jenny's fun-bags, there's only one solution.
Make her jealous.
Well, how do I do that? You bang one of her friends.
You know what? Bang all of her friends.
But Jenny doesn't really have any friends.
Well, except for Marcy.
She is pretty hot, too.
All right, well, there you have it, all right? Seek out this sex pot known as Marcy, and you bang her until Jenny sees the light.
This Todd Smith is starting to get in the way.
Maybe he's the one the prophecy speaks of.
Tell us you've investigated this boy.
Of course I have.
Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, he's a student at crowley high, so he's, high-school age, which at crowley could be anywhere between fourteen and twenty five.
He is a male, his name is Todd.
Smit h.
No middle name.
That I know of.
Silence! Follow the boy.
Observe his movements.
Take notes.
Yes, your evilness.
Don't screw this up, atticus.
Hey Marcy! Marcy! You look terrible, what's up? I don't wanna talk about it.
Well look, I'm sorry we haven't been hanging out lately, I've just sorta been caught up in stuff.
That's okay.
I've been kinda caught up in stuff too.
Hey.
Todd.
I'm here too, you know.
Yup, good for you.
So, Marcy Marcilicious how would you like to my house, tonight.
Seven o'clock? What, really? Oh, I'm sorry, did I just make you jealous? Don't be an idiot.
I may be an idiot but, I'm an idiot with a hot date.
Knock-knock-knock hey.
These are for you.
I thought you'd like them 'cause they're dead and gothy.
Hey, dude.
What are you doing here? Marcy invited me.
Pretty sweet, huh? And look, corn chips! You heard of these guys? Uh, yeah.
They're awesome.
Awesome.
You guys make yourself comfortable, and I'll be right back.
This is kinda weird.
Why would she invite both of us over, unless I think Marcy wants to have an orgy.
I've never orgied before, how does it work? Do we take turns, or do we roll around buck naked together? No, I'm outta here.
I can't let you go.
Dude, the only reason I'm here is to get Jenny jealous.
I respect that.
But not only are we going to lose our virginities, we're gonna get laid.
Guys, I'm in the basement, And I'm not wearing anything! Dude, she totally wants us.
If you leave there's no us, it's just me and she may not want just me.
She may be one of those chicks that needs like two jocks.
Please, Todd, do this for me.
Man.
Two minutes ago I thought the highlight of my night was gonna be that bowl of corn-chips.
So help me God, Curtis if your sword crosses my sword, I am outta here.
No sword crossage.
Got it.
Marcy? Curtis? Curtis, are you okay? Curtis? I landed on something squishy.
Oh, good squishy, or bad squishy? Mmmmm.
Definitely good squishy.
Bad squishy! Bad squishy! Sorry, guys.
Hello, boys! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Whack! I'll get you for that! Ahhhhhhhh! And that! You little wacko! Ahhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhh! Help! Ahhhhhhhh! Not my face! Shuuz, shuuz! This is our guidance counselor.
Let's go.
You failed us, Marcy.
Wait wait wait I'll get you more bodies, I swear to God.
Perhaps a little incenti ve is in order.
Wait, guys come on! How 'bout a little finger food? We just escaped from the window and ran all the way home! Dude we didn't run, you dorksack.
We just, like, walked fast.
Dude, we ran home like a couple of frightened little babies.
Oh, thank gosh you're alive.
Hey, guys.
How was your date with Marcy? Ahhhhhh! It went that bad, huh? Ahhhhhh! Stop it.
Sebastian fury and raven.
They fronted the goth band called the bram stoker explosion.
We ran away from a pansy-hatch goth band? They stayed awake for thirty-six days straight recording that album.
And when they crashed they never woke up.
Until Marcy got her hands on the book of pure evil.
That's why she's been acting so strange.
She's got a couple of zombies stashed in her basement.
And she's luring sexy guys into her place with the promise of orgies and corn-chips.
Does anyone have a plan? Actually I do.
You're spreading lies about me! Marcy, you're feeding guys to zombies! Fair enough! Okay, it all started last week my parents were giving me grief.
About my clothes, my music, my grades, my attitude, blah, blah, blah so I lost it.
I hate your guts and I wish you weren't my parents! What a terrible thing to say.
The next day I find this weird book.
So, I decided to replace my parents with my favourite rock stars.
Of course I didn't expect them to come back as zombies.
So what happened to your folks? Right, my folks We're still hungry.
So freaking hungry! I'll get more.
Lots more! So, I started bringing boys home from school.
Sorry, guys.
Hey, it could happen to anyone.
We'll just take a rain check on that orgy.
Are we prepared to take on two sadistic flesh eating zombies? Heck yeah.
But first, we gotta load up.
On drugs.
Close.
Hey, Jimmy, I need to bor Jimmy, miss valarie I need to borrow a few questionable items.
I'm not responsible if I don't see it.
Oh, uh, miss valarie, I'm gonna need another extension on that math assignment.
Where is that rotten little wench? You know, I'm so freaking hungry, I could eat myself.
Sebastian, you gotta check out this book, man.
It's the answer to all our prayers.
Yeah, well can you eat the freaking thing? I don't think so! Hold on a minute here we go.
An all you can eat.
Hey, Jenny.
I'm really sorry about all this.
You're not the only kid who doesn't get along with their parents.
How could you have known it would lead to cannibalism and murder? Hey, when all this over, do you wanna like, hang out again? You know, like old times? Yeah, sure.
All right, everybody, listen up.
When we get to Marcy's house, Jenny and I will take the back Where are you little dudes going? Uh, none of your business? Does it have anything to do with the two zombies that just walked in the school? Everybody, back inside! Loser.
You sure he's the one? Yes, I'm sure.
Just give him some time.
All right gang , let's spread out.
Jenny and I will cover jock hall.
Curtis and Hannah, you cover nerd alley.
Take Marcy with you.
Keep your eyes peeled.
If you hear or see anything, or something tries to eat you, scream real loud.
All right, let's move out! Where the hell is atticus? Ladies and gentlemen, parents and teachers, I'm here to tell you your kids are out of control, exclamation point.
Double exclamation point.
I just wanted to let you know that, um, nothing happened between me and Marcy.
And Curtis.
Why would I care one way or another? You don't care that I almost had an orgy with your best friend? I'm glad you weren't eaten alive by zombies, okay? Did you hear that? Whack! That's our guidance counselor, Curtis.
We should do something.
Let's hit him in the head again and give him amnesia! Uh, there's actually a 98% chance that that won't happen.
Okay, so what you're saying is that there's a good 3% chance that it will.
No, that's not what I'm saying.
Where's Marcy? What have you done to Marcy? Don't worry, she's safe and sound.
Safe and sound in our gullets! Ha ha ha! Prepare to die, you undead limeys! Let's be blunt.
Your kids live in a society that glorifies acts of brutality and carnage.
What should you, as parents, do? For the love of gosh, would someone please shut that door? Stop turning a blind eye to what's happening! Ahhhhhhh! The only solution, Is to cut your kids off from the outside world.
Lock them inside their rooms and don't let them out until you drop them back off to the warmth and safety of this education facility! Let's start with the pretty one.
No! Wait! So how 'bout this? You give us the book, and you can have the parents, and the teachers.
You mean this book? Here's what gonna happen, first we're gonna eat you little weasels, and then we're gonna use this book to get back on top of the charts.
Freakin' heck.
You mean we've gotta go back to work? This is just like that jumping album all over again, can't take a day off, oh no.
You have to stay awake for thirty-six bloody days straight.
And look what happens to us now.
We're dead! Todd, catch! Thud Look what you did to my baby.
Just when we were about to make a comeback.
Well, now this is personal.
You picked the wrong zombie to fuss with! Eat me! Thud you zombies are dead! Again! Yeah! Grab it! It keeps doing that! Are you okay? She was my best friend.
And now she's gone.
Goodbye, Marcy.
I hope there's an all ages goth bar in heaven.
Jenny do you wanna cry on my shoulder? That wasn't meant to be totally sexual! You know what the worst part about this is? We never got to have our orgy.
Uh, trust me dude, I'm still gonna have my orgy and you're not gonna be there.
In your dreams.
Which, by the way, is like the only place you'll ever have an orgy.
As long as it's a Curtis-free orgy dream, I have no problem with that.
Good squishy.
Ladies let's get this orgy started.
Best dream ever.
All right.
Goth chicks like it in the basement.
What was that noise? It's only the, uh, furnace, Anthony.
Don't be afraid.
Hey, Marcy! What's goin' on? Hello? Hey, come on! Come on, open the door! Aaaahhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhhh! Ahhhhhhh! Oh, God! In the last five days, these five students have gone missing.
My theory? It has something to do with the book.
Well, maybe they just quit school.
That's your theory? Think about it.
If they quit school, then they have no reason to show up.
Try not to think so hard, Todd, you'll give yourself an aneurism.
Todd may actually have a point.
Hannah agrees with Todd, why am I not surprised? Just because something inexplicable happens doesn't mean the book is responsible, Jenny.
Is the book responsible for you being a total witch? I don't know why Jenny thinks I'm such a loser.
Listen up Todd, if your goal is to gently caress Jenny's fun-bags, there's only one solution.
Make her jealous.
Well, how do I do that? You bang one of her friends.
You know what? Bang all of her friends.
But Jenny doesn't really have any friends.
Well, except for Marcy.
She is pretty hot, too.
All right, well, there you have it, all right? Seek out this sex pot known as Marcy, and you bang her until Jenny sees the light.
This Todd Smith is starting to get in the way.
Maybe he's the one the prophecy speaks of.
Tell us you've investigated this boy.
Of course I have.
Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, he's a student at crowley high, so he's, high-school age, which at crowley could be anywhere between fourteen and twenty five.
He is a male, his name is Todd.
Smit h.
No middle name.
That I know of.
Silence! Follow the boy.
Observe his movements.
Take notes.
Yes, your evilness.
Don't screw this up, atticus.
Hey Marcy! Marcy! You look terrible, what's up? I don't wanna talk about it.
Well look, I'm sorry we haven't been hanging out lately, I've just sorta been caught up in stuff.
That's okay.
I've been kinda caught up in stuff too.
Hey.
Todd.
I'm here too, you know.
Yup, good for you.
So, Marcy Marcilicious how would you like to my house, tonight.
Seven o'clock? What, really? Oh, I'm sorry, did I just make you jealous? Don't be an idiot.
I may be an idiot but, I'm an idiot with a hot date.
Knock-knock-knock hey.
These are for you.
I thought you'd like them 'cause they're dead and gothy.
Hey, dude.
What are you doing here? Marcy invited me.
Pretty sweet, huh? And look, corn chips! You heard of these guys? Uh, yeah.
They're awesome.
Awesome.
You guys make yourself comfortable, and I'll be right back.
This is kinda weird.
Why would she invite both of us over, unless I think Marcy wants to have an orgy.
I've never orgied before, how does it work? Do we take turns, or do we roll around buck naked together? No, I'm outta here.
I can't let you go.
Dude, the only reason I'm here is to get Jenny jealous.
I respect that.
But not only are we going to lose our virginities, we're gonna get laid.
Guys, I'm in the basement, And I'm not wearing anything! Dude, she totally wants us.
If you leave there's no us, it's just me and she may not want just me.
She may be one of those chicks that needs like two jocks.
Please, Todd, do this for me.
Man.
Two minutes ago I thought the highlight of my night was gonna be that bowl of corn-chips.
So help me God, Curtis if your sword crosses my sword, I am outta here.
No sword crossage.
Got it.
Marcy? Curtis? Curtis, are you okay? Curtis? I landed on something squishy.
Oh, good squishy, or bad squishy? Mmmmm.
Definitely good squishy.
Bad squishy! Bad squishy! Sorry, guys.
Hello, boys! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Whack! I'll get you for that! Ahhhhhhhh! And that! You little wacko! Ahhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhh! Help! Ahhhhhhhh! Not my face! Shuuz, shuuz! This is our guidance counselor.
Let's go.
You failed us, Marcy.
Wait wait wait I'll get you more bodies, I swear to God.
Perhaps a little incenti ve is in order.
Wait, guys come on! How 'bout a little finger food? We just escaped from the window and ran all the way home! Dude we didn't run, you dorksack.
We just, like, walked fast.
Dude, we ran home like a couple of frightened little babies.
Oh, thank gosh you're alive.
Hey, guys.
How was your date with Marcy? Ahhhhhh! It went that bad, huh? Ahhhhhh! Stop it.
Sebastian fury and raven.
They fronted the goth band called the bram stoker explosion.
We ran away from a pansy-hatch goth band? They stayed awake for thirty-six days straight recording that album.
And when they crashed they never woke up.
Until Marcy got her hands on the book of pure evil.
That's why she's been acting so strange.
She's got a couple of zombies stashed in her basement.
And she's luring sexy guys into her place with the promise of orgies and corn-chips.
Does anyone have a plan? Actually I do.
You're spreading lies about me! Marcy, you're feeding guys to zombies! Fair enough! Okay, it all started last week my parents were giving me grief.
About my clothes, my music, my grades, my attitude, blah, blah, blah so I lost it.
I hate your guts and I wish you weren't my parents! What a terrible thing to say.
The next day I find this weird book.
So, I decided to replace my parents with my favourite rock stars.
Of course I didn't expect them to come back as zombies.
So what happened to your folks? Right, my folks We're still hungry.
So freaking hungry! I'll get more.
Lots more! So, I started bringing boys home from school.
Sorry, guys.
Hey, it could happen to anyone.
We'll just take a rain check on that orgy.
Are we prepared to take on two sadistic flesh eating zombies? Heck yeah.
But first, we gotta load up.
On drugs.
Close.
Hey, Jimmy, I need to bor Jimmy, miss valarie I need to borrow a few questionable items.
I'm not responsible if I don't see it.
Oh, uh, miss valarie, I'm gonna need another extension on that math assignment.
Where is that rotten little wench? You know, I'm so freaking hungry, I could eat myself.
Sebastian, you gotta check out this book, man.
It's the answer to all our prayers.
Yeah, well can you eat the freaking thing? I don't think so! Hold on a minute here we go.
An all you can eat.
Hey, Jenny.
I'm really sorry about all this.
You're not the only kid who doesn't get along with their parents.
How could you have known it would lead to cannibalism and murder? Hey, when all this over, do you wanna like, hang out again? You know, like old times? Yeah, sure.
All right, everybody, listen up.
When we get to Marcy's house, Jenny and I will take the back Where are you little dudes going? Uh, none of your business? Does it have anything to do with the two zombies that just walked in the school? Everybody, back inside! Loser.
You sure he's the one? Yes, I'm sure.
Just give him some time.
All right gang , let's spread out.
Jenny and I will cover jock hall.
Curtis and Hannah, you cover nerd alley.
Take Marcy with you.
Keep your eyes peeled.
If you hear or see anything, or something tries to eat you, scream real loud.
All right, let's move out! Where the hell is atticus? Ladies and gentlemen, parents and teachers, I'm here to tell you your kids are out of control, exclamation point.
Double exclamation point.
I just wanted to let you know that, um, nothing happened between me and Marcy.
And Curtis.
Why would I care one way or another? You don't care that I almost had an orgy with your best friend? I'm glad you weren't eaten alive by zombies, okay? Did you hear that? Whack! That's our guidance counselor, Curtis.
We should do something.
Let's hit him in the head again and give him amnesia! Uh, there's actually a 98% chance that that won't happen.
Okay, so what you're saying is that there's a good 3% chance that it will.
No, that's not what I'm saying.
Where's Marcy? What have you done to Marcy? Don't worry, she's safe and sound.
Safe and sound in our gullets! Ha ha ha! Prepare to die, you undead limeys! Let's be blunt.
Your kids live in a society that glorifies acts of brutality and carnage.
What should you, as parents, do? For the love of gosh, would someone please shut that door? Stop turning a blind eye to what's happening! Ahhhhhhh! The only solution, Is to cut your kids off from the outside world.
Lock them inside their rooms and don't let them out until you drop them back off to the warmth and safety of this education facility! Let's start with the pretty one.
No! Wait! So how 'bout this? You give us the book, and you can have the parents, and the teachers.
You mean this book? Here's what gonna happen, first we're gonna eat you little weasels, and then we're gonna use this book to get back on top of the charts.
Freakin' heck.
You mean we've gotta go back to work? This is just like that jumping album all over again, can't take a day off, oh no.
You have to stay awake for thirty-six bloody days straight.
And look what happens to us now.
We're dead! Todd, catch! Thud Look what you did to my baby.
Just when we were about to make a comeback.
Well, now this is personal.
You picked the wrong zombie to fuss with! Eat me! Thud you zombies are dead! Again! Yeah! Grab it! It keeps doing that! Are you okay? She was my best friend.
And now she's gone.
Goodbye, Marcy.
I hope there's an all ages goth bar in heaven.
Jenny do you wanna cry on my shoulder? That wasn't meant to be totally sexual! You know what the worst part about this is? We never got to have our orgy.
Uh, trust me dude, I'm still gonna have my orgy and you're not gonna be there.
In your dreams.
Which, by the way, is like the only place you'll ever have an orgy.
As long as it's a Curtis-free orgy dream, I have no problem with that.
Good squishy.
Ladies let's get this orgy started.
Best dream ever.