Todd & the Book of Pure Evil (2010) s02e08 Episode Script

Loser Generated Content

(screaming) Rrrrrahhh! Looks like someone needs to trim their nails! Ahhhhhhhh! Stop it! You're destroying everything! AH! The humanity! Ugh! Rahhh! Ahhhhhh! CLANG! (crashing/screaming) Ah! Ah! Ahhhhhhhhhh! All this for a stupid beauty pageant.
Which I won fair and square.
But I rigged the whole thing.
Your winning was part of the plan.
Mimes don't talk, Hannah! Todd: Ahh! Ahhh! (choking) HiSSSSSS! Ahhhhhhhhh! CLANG! THUD (wig groaning) That's it for you, evil wig.
UH! Well that's the end of another adventure.
Yeah, there were some real twists and turns in that one.
Something tells me that's not the last we've seen of the Book.
Seriously, how do you turn this off?! Oh Curtis.
You never change.
(laughing) Reggie: Hey! You destroyed our whole AV lab! It's all we had! This was our whole lives! Look, in the fight against evil, sometimes shit happens, this time shit happened to your shit.
It's nothing personal.
But who's going to pay for all this?! I dunno.
Todd: Nice yodeling, Jenny.
I will get my revenge, Todd Smith! Somehow.
(energy pulsing) I can't believe I never noticed you before you won that beauty pageant.
It's too bad so many people had to die.
Hey, it's not your fault Miss Crowley High.
You won fair and square.
And your yodeling was excellent.
Oh, Lon, I bet you say that to all the girls.
True, but with you I mean it.
Hey how about we grab a coffee after school? Or something- Yeah.
I would love to.
I've got a date with a beauty queen.
(Jenny giggling) Wa t till I tell my mom! I'm the one who saved Jenny from the Evil Wig, not that bumrod coffee drinker! Reggie: Bring up the music-- (dramatic instrumental music) I don't think we should be doing this- I'm the head of this club.
Now, shut up and do what I tell you! (dramatic instrumental music) Does anyone hear music? Anyone? Reggie: Andcut! Lost shithead? Reggie: Cut! You take a wrong turn somewhere buddy? Well, you better get out of here unless you want to get slapped with 2 dildos! Okay- Reggie: Cut! There's a pretty, Daddy-- Curious.
Oh, shi-- Reggie: Cut! Split-screen! I don't want to! I said split-screen! SLICE! (blood splattering) (laughing) We never got to have our coffee date.
You know there's plenty of other guys who'd like a coffee date.
Like me.
Now's not the time, Todd.
Hey, I've got something that will cheer you up.
Made you a mix CD.
Seriously? A guy I had a coffee date with has been cut in half.
And stop making me CDs! I never listen to them.
What, not even 'Songs To Dream of Todd To, Volume 7?' That was a classic! Hey, find anything? We found the rest of Lon's body.
It's cut clean in half.
Who or what cldld have done this? Curious-er (whistling) Um A giant pizza cutter? Oh! A giant viking with a man-slicing axe! A powerful plasma ray? Then the wounds would have been cauterized-- You only know that word because I use it.
You're just jealous of my tiara.
It's so sparkly- So, what else could it be? Maybe a sword? Todd: A sword? I thought I was the only dude around here with a sword.
I think someone other than Todd having a sword in the school is highly improbable.
We would have noticed.
Unless he was really tall and hid it in his pants.
I think that we have to consider all the possibilities here, because something is weird, even for Crowley High.
Dennis: Why her? You really don't know anything, do you, you idiot?! Through her we get to him.
First we need to match Todd's sword against Lon's body, just to rule him out as a suspect.
Seriously? I'm a suspect? It's nothing personal Todd, we have to be sure.
There is a prophecy that says you could be the Pure Evil One, after all.
Jock: Go short! Stupid Prophecy-- Holy-Moley Miss Crowley! Best in show! Oh, you guys.
You're too kind-- Hey, shut up, you douche lords! She doesn't need attention from guys like you! Jock: Yeah, whatever-- Jenny, you're lucky you have me to protect you from guys like that.
I can speak for myself, Todd! You're acting like a jealous boyfriend! Yeah! You're like a stalker! I'm not a stalker! I'm-- I'm more of a bad boy.
Yeah! He's dangerous.
And that kinda scares you.
But it also kind of excites you too.
You just don't know it yet! Seriously, dude, not helping.
Reggie: AndWipe! SPLAT! Test, one two-- Test-- How am I a stalker?? I mean, I love Jenny-- I know we're meant to be together.
tap-tap And this year's Miss Crowley High is-- Damn it, there's too much blood in this thing, man-- Jenny just can't see it yet.
I just have to convince her.
But, I mean, how does that make me a stalker? You know what I'm talking about, right Jimmy? Listen, man, I totally know what you mean-- There was this one chick, right? We were totally in love, she just didn't know it yet.
So, I followed her to her room hid under her bed, and she still just didn't get that we were meant to be together.
So then I showed her the pictures I took when she was sleeping, totally freaked out-- Which I didn't get because that was proof to me that if I wanted to do something bad, I could've.
You know what I'm saying? Shit.
I am a stalker.
I gotta stay away from Jenny.
This year's Miss Crowley High is Jenny Kolinsky! (phone ringing) What do you want, Todd? Todd's Voice: We're meant to be together Jenny.
What are you talking about? I am a stalker! Okay, not funny.
I can't stay away from you.
This is sick even for you.
I'm talking about love - love - love.
Ok, seriously? I'm hanging up! I am a stalker.
Don't call me again! I gotta-- shit.
Don't even talk to me again! What's got your panties in a knot little missy? Mind your own business.
Your friend Todd has quite the reputation.
What reputation? He's a Pure Evil loser.
He's not Pure Evil.
He's a good guy.
He just doesn't always think about what he's doing and doesn't always know when to stop-- You know what? What do you guys know about it anyway? Hey, we don't know nothin' but what we see with our own 2 eyes.
Come on-- We see the way he follows you around.
The way he looks at you.
The way he smells your hair when you ain't looking.
Like a loser in heat.
You really think you're gonna be able to control himself forever? (laughing) Hannah: Those flirty jocks have been crushed.
Is Todd still a suspect? Well, the test of the sword against Lon's body proved inconclusive.
Whoa-- What could have done this? Angry giant? Angry giant bulldozer? Well good luck finding the Book.
I'm gonna have to sit this one out.
You're quitting the Gang again? I just think I need to stay away from Jenny for a little while.
Because you're stalking her? No, I'm not stalking her! I just-- I know she gets distracted by my manliness.
That's it Todd! You're delusional! I'm not into you! I've never been into you! But you just can't take the hint, can you? Calling me up, telling me that you have to take a shit?! What is wrong with you?! Whoa, Jenny, calm down But I don't have to take a shit First Lon, and now these guys? They were just flirting with me, and now they're dead! Did you do this? Did you go all Pure Evil on them? I didn't do anything-- You know what? None of us know what you're capable of! You could be responsible for all this and not even know it! We don't know that Todd did this, Jenny Yeah, sure, take his side Hannah-- (phone vibrating) Look & Listen.
What does that mean? Reggie: Boring! Yeah who cares about wrong numbers? Let's get to the good stuff.
See? I told you it would be fun.
(Jenny humming) Jenny singing: So hand me those flowers of sorrow What the hell? (singing) here I stand Best.
Dream.
Ever.
Todd: Oh, yeah- Yeah, thats s good, Jenny Oh, Jenny (Todd's hand slapping) Oh, yeah Ahhhhhhh! What are you doing?! I'm dreaming-- No you're not!!! Ahhhhhhh! so I was in her room and then I jumped out the window and ran naked all the way home.
My feet got really dirty.
Whoa, what a weird dream.
Dirty feet.
Dude, are you even listening to me?? I was actually in Jenny's closet jerking off! Wow.
That does sound like stalker behaviour.
Yeah, but I thought I was dreaming! I don't even know how I got there! Maybe you were sleep-wanking.
Or maybe I'm blacking out and turning into the Pure Evil One without even knowing it.
Well, if all the Pure Evil One does is black out and jerk off That's not so bad.
Todd needs to be locked up until we figure out what's going on.
Don't you think you're being a bit rash? He was jerking off in my closet! I can't imagine Todd choosing to do that.
I mean, sure he'd fantasize about it, but he can't be responsible for all this.
He just can't.
Maybe he's not choosing.
Maybe he's already become the Pure Evil One.
And if Todd's lost control, I'm not gonna be his next victim! Are you even listening to me right now?! I can't believe you're checking your texts! What-- Jenny, I'm sorry! I dn'n't normally get texts! I was excited! It's working! Our plan is working! Stupid nerds.
Not so stupid after all.
Especially with a little help from the Book of Pure Evil! Well this is unexpected.
What should we do? We're gonna get expelled for this! Just stay calm and observe.
Atticus: Nerds! Hand over the Book! We don't have any books.
Dennis: Take it! Reggie: Hey! This Book isn't going anywhere until Todd Smith's life is completely destroyed! You're using the Book to destroy Todd Smith? Hmm! Allow me to offer a proposal.
I'll let you keep the Book until after your little vendetta, then you will give me the book! Yeah, that sounds reasonable.
Excellent, I'm gonna stay and watch.
Got any snacks? Some party mix? Okay, listen-- If I really am the Pure Evil One, I'll say anything I can to get out of this room.
Curtis, no matter what I say do not let me out of here.
Got it.
But if you do let me out, you can have all my comics.
Wicked! That was a test.
You just failed.
Okay-- Shit! Okay-- Starting now.
You are not getting out of that room! Ok, but I really have to use the bathroom.
Okay you go I'll stay! Curtis, that was also a test.
Man! You're too smart for me! I know.
This sucks, I'm gonna keep stalking and killing people forever.
Todd, we don't know for sure that you're doing those things.
Jenny thinks I am, and that's all that matters.
You gotta start thinking about something else.
something wholesome, family entertainment, like Herman: The Kid Detective.
Really, Hannah? I don't know reading's kinda for nerds.
(phone vibrating) Who keeps texting me? It's okay, dude.
Go.
Why are they wasting so much time on such a boring subplot? Those kids are always wasting their time on stupid tangents.
Fast forward to the good stuff.
Dennis! Fast forward! thump-thump Reggie: That's more like it.
(Jenny hitting bag) It was indeed the snake-handler's niece.
Reggie: Ramp up the tension! Give me some music stings! Todd! Get out of here! I don't even know how I got in here! Reggie: Cut! Stay away from me! Reggie: Cut! Gah! I'm trying! WHACK! What the fuck? WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Ugh! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! She's giving him a real ass pounding! Pound that ass, Jenny! Dennis! It's not what it looks like! You're on your cell phone during a movie! Curtis: Nerds! Supporting characters! We forgot about you! We know you have the Book - hand it over and you might make it out of this alive! No promises.
Yeah, our track record is pretty spotty.
Reggie: Never! I must see Todd destroyed for what he did to us! What exactly did Todd do to you? I don't even know who you guys are.
Todd destroyed all of our audio-visual equipment! What? You were there! Don't you remember? I smoke a lot of pot.
And Todd destroys a lot of stuff.
AV Club was all we had in life, and Todd completely destroyed it, so now we're going to destroy Todd! You know, you should have just killed him, it would have been far easier.
Just sayin'.
Killing Todd's not enough.
I wanna crush him completely by turning the woman he loves against him.
It will be my masterpiece! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! (electricity surging) I know I should be happy, but she's just so sad! I did itholy shit! I did it! I actually did it! YOU BASTARD!!! Stay away from me! Todd: I'm trying! What the fuck? Curtis be careful! (laughing) Lose- This year's Miss Crowley's High-- Fuck.
You wouldn't want to go to the movies with me.
Curtis: Hold on! Todd & Jenny: Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Whoa! I'm just gonna have to finish you myself, Todd Smith! Let's do the man dance, man.
You ruined my life! Yeah?? You totally fucked up mine! It was him right? I'm not the Pure Evil One yet? Curtis and Hannah: Not yet.
You know, I'm totally gonna kick your ass, dude.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm just gonna use the book to kill you.
Where is it? Dennis-- Todd: Well this is unexpected.
Give that back! That's an order! I' w waited a long time for this Reggie You think it's easy being second command of a two person club? I made you who you are! When you first came to this school, you were nothing.
Just another snot nosed kid with no social skills.
I gave you an identity! I gave you power! And that was your downfall.
(echoing) AHHHHHHHHH! SPLAT! (book flapping) Whoa You sent the text messages that lead us here.
Indeed it was I.
Why did you sell Reggie out? Reggie was an asshole.
Stupid nerds! I could see this ending coming a mile away.
I always guess the ending.
You wouldn't want to go to the movies with me.
With Reggie gone, it looks like the AV Club needs a new "head".
(gang groaning) What? Too soon? I'm sorry I didn't trust you, Todd.
Forgive me? I'll forgive you if you go on a date with me.
Too soon.
Hey, do any of you guys want to join the AV club? Jenny: No! Should we tell them that Jenny killed Todd? Hmmm, let's keep that our little secret.
We have more DVD-R's than you can shake a stick at! It's clear to me that Todd's strength lies not in his stupid tenacity but in his alliance with his insipid yet very helpful friends.
And in order to defeat Todd and the Gang and finally get my hands on the Book of Pure Evil, I'm going to need friends of my own.
Yes indeedy.
Daddy.
No, Atticus.
Not friends.
Not friends? No! What you need is an army! I could do an army.

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