Top Gear (2002) s15e05 Episode Script

Why Ayrton Senna Was The Best

Tonight, Cameron Diaz in our reasonably priced car.
I repeat, Cameron Diaz in our reasonably priced car.
Sorry, Stig, totally BLEEPing it up! And she's brought Tom Cruise along! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello and welcome! That is later.
That is later.
But now we start once again with a letter.
It's from some Swedish youths and it says, "Dear Top Gear, "we are some Swedish youths, "and we've been given the run of a whole ski resort "for a weekend.
"Do you a race fancy having?" Plainly this was a job for Richard Herring.
This is Riksgransen, the world's northernmost ski resort.
It's so far north that the ski season doesn't finish here until June, when the rest of us are on the beach.
I'm here to defend the honour of the car against some extreme snowmobilers who are so extreme they're still in bed.
Still, meanwhile, let's meet the car I've chosen to take them on with.
It's the Volkswagen Touareg.
A big off-roader that for many years we've absolutely hated.
We tested it when it first came out, seven years ago.
And we didn't like a lot of things about it.
The ride, the gearbox, the fact you couldn't see out of the back.
We didn't like the ridiculous thirst, and we didn't like that some of the design felt like they'd done the most un-German thing possible.
A half-arsed job.
But this is the brand new Touareg.
And already I can report many improvements.
You can, for instance, see out of the back.
The ride is much smoother.
The gearbox, the old one changed according to a geological timescale.
This new eight-speed affair is a big improvement.
The Touareg also looks more Golf-like than the old one.
And besides the full off-road hardware, standard kit includes sat-nav, electric leather seats, climate control, and a ten-speaker stereo system.
But we've come here to race so none of that is important right now.
What is important is that the new Touareg weighs 200 kilograms less than the old one.
Which makes it altogether more sprightly.
This is a 3.
5 litre V6 turbo diesel.
Cost, L37,000, so it's faster than the old one.
Top speed, 136 mph.
So you're better off there, too.
All in all, I think this is the machine to take the snowmobilers on in our big race.
Which, as they're still in bed playing computer games, will happen tomorrow.
So, race day.
And I'll confess, I went to bed last night full of confidence.
And then, in the middle of the night, I sort of got cold feet about it.
So I got up, got dressed, came downstairs, and I made this.
It's still a Touareg.
But one built to take on the infamous Dakar.
The toughest rally in the world.
With a carbon fibre body, bionic suspension, and a twin-turbo, 300 horsepower, diesel engine, it can do 130 mph over just about any terrain.
It's also the first diesel ever to win the Dakar.
Which is odd, given that I built it only last night.
But no matter, I think this is probably the better tool to see off those snowmobilers, who have finally emerged.
They are Daniel Bodin and Dan Lang.
Local snowmobile legends whose racing skills have won them silver medals at the X-Games.
Best let them get it out of their system.
'Eventually the teenagers calm down long enough 'for me to explain the race route 'across the ski resort.
' Right, we're going to start from here.
Then we're going to move around here, sweep around there, down there, then eventually we'll finish with a sprint across the ice lake, end up, finish line, at the ski shop.
So, that's 12 gruelling miles down ski slopes, through forests, and across frozen water.
Yeah? Happy? Yeah.
Fine with that.
Um where is here, exactly? It's up there.
Yeah! ENGINES REV All right.
Fair enough.
Ooh, erm, I guess, 3 Right, come on.
This thing has more torque than a Lamborghini Gallardo.
Have they got that? No! 'We plunged out of the clouds neck and neck.
' I have taken the precaution of fitting it with studded snow tyres.
Obviously I did that.
Come on! Find grip! Blimey! Where have they? 'The snowmobilers promptly vanished 'because whilst I had to stick to the ski runs, 'they didn't.
' Come on, you've crossed the desert, you can do this.
'As it turned out, the Dakar was as fast on snow 'as it would be on sand.
' Oh, yes! That worked! I thank you! 'So when I hit the lower slopes, 'we were still neck and neck.
' 'I then decided to take a short cut.
'Which went well.
' Oh! Oh! This is going to cost me time! Move, move, move! 'Despite my cock-up, I was just ahead as we entered the forest stage.
' Yee-hah-hah! Keep up with that, then, boys! 'But the teenagers were able to whizz off between the trees.
' Come on! Where the hell are they? 'Which meant they had the lead as we reached the final part of the race, 'a six-mile dash across the frozen lake.
' Ooh, tree.
Come on, come on! Yes, finally! I've got the top speed of best part of 130 mph.
This is where I have the advantage.
'But up ahead, the snowmobilers could still hit 90 mph.
'So I'd have to give it everything to close the gap.
' This is where the race is won or lost.
This thing's got some grip! I'm just floating over this stuff.
'With less than four miles to go 'the snowmobilers were still ahead.
' Where are they?! 'But then, joy of joys, the snow on the ice started to thin out.
' Ha-ha-ha-ha! Their machines will have problems on this because the belts themselves overheat running on straight ice, so they can't give it everything.
'And sure enough, they started slowing down.
' I'm going to catch them! That's them! That's them! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! What do you think of that? Yee-hah-hah-hah! 'The snow on the lake thickened again, 'and the snowmobilers were back in the game.
'But now the Touareg had the edge.
' That, I think, is the finish line.
That's it! This thing has conquered sand and desert, now it's conquered snow, mountains and frozen lakes.
I'm going to win! Yes! Yes! Ha-ha! I did it! It's won through! What a machine! You've got to be! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I could've done that.
I could've done that.
What?! Did you did you win that? Yes.
Yes, I did.
I'll admit they did finish with a bit more of a flourish, thing, there, but I won.
I'm not really interested in whether you won or not, I'm interested in that bit where they said that their tracks, on their snowmobiles, got hot, cos they were running on ice.
And they told you that? Yeah, it's the friction.
Ice generates a lot of friction, so they heat up.
If you slide over ice in your clothes, they'll actually burn off you.
Do they also tell you things like, Jimi Hendrix was in Abba? No! It's Did theysay that a Volvo 244 holds the lap record at the Nurburgring? No, stop, it's true, and you know full well it is.
Let's do the news.
What I'm going to do is put a piece of ice down the front of your trousers, to see if it sets fire to your gentleman's sausage.
No! I'm not saying ice is hot, just, it can create a lot of friction! This is science, and you don't understand that.
So leave it, it's true.
OK? Yes.
Anyway, let's do the news.
Oh, now, hey.
This is an important piece of news.
A lot of people imagine the most dangerous time of year to drive is November, or perhaps February, dark nights, fog, ice.
But we were talking about this and we think THE most dangerous time to drive a car, is roundabout now.
Sunny skies, light breezes, girls wearing short skirts.
Very dangerous.
Cos the thing is, you can't notlook.
You actually can't.
You can't physically not look.
You have no choice.
There are other things you can choose not to do.
It's easy not to use your mobile while driving, easy not to drive after 18 pints of lager, but you're driving along and, " There's a girl, mustn't look "I'm looking, I'm looking, I've crashed, I'm still looking!" Do you have any idea what we're on about? I drove through Soho the other night, honestly, you know Linda Blair in the Exorcist? My head was just spinning around! 180 degrees! Crashing into lampposts, letterboxes, and other cars! It's impossible not to! The thing is, we know that Germaine Greer is actually an avid viewer of Top Gear, and Is she? No, she really is.
In your mind.
No, she is! Anyway, she will be annoyed about this but the fact is, what we're trying to say is we can't help it, it's natural, I mean, in the last three days I've nearly had two quite serious accidents Even James May is susceptible to it! Even me! That's proof! Yeah, but it was roadworkers he was looking at! Ha-ha! Actually, do you not think there is here a case for the burka? Aaah.
Because the problem goes away The burka? No.
No, honestly.
The burka doesn't work.
Cos I was in a cab in Piccadilly the other day, OK? A woman in a full burka crossing the road in front of the cab, tripped over the pavement, went head over heels Base over apex.
And up it came, red G-string, stockings Mate, that did NOT happen! I promise! I promise! No! It did! Did you see thisincident on DVD or pay per view? The taxi driver will back me up on that.
He will.
He was in the cinema with you? That never happened.
It did! Never happened.
Next week, Jeremy visits a hospital, and a nurses top falls off.
In Jeremy's mind.
Now, normally, OK, normally I wouldn't bring this up.
But Citroen UK has appointed a new sales director, OK? And his name is Charles Peugeot.
No, it isn't! I have photographic proof, from Citroen, "Charles Peugeot".
It is! What were they thinking?! What's his e-mail address going to be, charles.
peugeot@citroen? So stupid! Hang on, hang on, what if there are lots of people called Charles Peugeot working at Citroen? So he ends up being charles .
Sorry, it wasn't worth it.
APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH Hey, now, as we know, there's a lot of chat around at the moment about cars that can run on biofuels or on electricity or on hydrogen.
But we wondering, "I wonder if it would be possible to make a car that ran on cheese and onion crisps?" LAUGHTER Corn beef salad.
And do you know what? We found a Porsche, or rather, Hammond has, that can.
This is it.
And the first thing you'll notice is it's covered in this space-age foil stuff.
Back here, there's this massive wing, all very traditional Porsche, but, under here, nothing.
Because this is the first mid-engine 911.
And what an engine it is.
So right now it's running on Frosties and one of those chocolatey croissant things and a cup of coffee.
But it could equally run on fish and chips I had last night or a big bag of Quavers.
Really anything that the driver can eat.
OK, first corner coming up.
The good thing about this, of course, plenty of time to be precise about your lines.
CHEERING It's amazing! It's absolutely superb.
It is a completely convincing 911,really, isn't it?It is.
It was made in Austria - sadly, it is a one-off.
It lives in a museum now.
But it's fabulous and I did do a whole lap in it.
What was your time? Well, I did it in Yeah! LAUGHTER CHEERING It's down here.
It's down here.
But I'm proud.
Well done.
Thank you.
Since we're on the subject of the lap board, we thought we would take a moment to share some happy memories of an old friend.
If you look back at all the amazing things we've done with the Bugatti Veyron HE LAUGHS .
you could be forgiven for thinking it's the fastest car on the planet.
The fact is, though, it isn't, you see, because this car will do 253 miles per hour, but there's now a car in America called the Shelby Ultimate Aero .
that will do 256 miles per hour.
So that, officially, is the world's fastest production car, not this old knocker.
The Germans are not pleased.
So, behind closed doors, in the Bugatti skunk works, they've created this It's called the Super Sport.
It's the Veyron's last hurrah and it's been built with just one purpose To be the undisputed fastest production car ever made.
On this car, the 0-60 time is the same as it is on the standard Bugatti Veyron - all is utterly changed.
takes just 4.
5 seconds, which is the same as the 0-60 time of a Porsche 911 GT3.
And this will go on to an alleged top speed of 258 miles per hour.
Naturally, that means the Super Sport has more power.
The standard Veyron famously has 1,000 horsepower.
The Super Sport's version has 1, 200 horsepower.
So why, you might wonder, does it need the power of a Golf GTI added to it, just to do another five miles per hour? Well, the reasons are quite complicated and I've been barred by the producer from explaining them properly.
So here instead is the primary school explanation.
Well, the issue is the air, which has genuine substance once you're trying to move through it.
The faster you go, the thicker the air effectively becomes.
At 100 miles per hour, it's like aerosol whipped cream, but at 200 miles per hour, it's more like a very thick treacle.
And at 250 miles per hour, it's like trying to drive through a fruitcake.
And cutting through the fruitcake requires more than just brute force, which is why this Veyron has a new super slippery body.
And a new super high price.
Up from L1 million to L1.
6 million.
Anyway, big, fast Shelby American car thingy, your gauntlet has now been picked up by the one they call de langsamer - the Slow One.
Captain Slow, to you.
The setting for this judgement day run is Volkswagen's top-secret test track at Ehra-Lessien - a massive complex built in a former Cold War no-fly zone near the old East German border.
At its heart is this which includes this 5.
5-mile arrow-straight straight.
It's one of very few places on earth where you can actually max a Bugatti Veyron.
Nothing was left to chance by the Bugatti boffins.
We even had to wait until the middle of the day when the air was at its thinnest before I was finally given the all-clear to run.
There's one thing making me slightly apprehensive.
I said, "How long do the tyres last at 258 miles per hour?" And they said, "Well, we know how long they last at 248 miles per hour - it's 37 miles.
" I said, "Yeah, but what about 258 miles per hour?" What they actually said to me was, "Ask an admiral how deep his submarines can really go.
"He doesn't know until they try it.
" As I ventured onto the track, I was quite glad that they aren't ordinary tyres, but ones that cost L20,000 a set.
I do feel a nervousness about that extra five miles per hour.
It takes me beyond the known borders of car performance.
I'm hanging my ass over the ragged edge like Chuck Yeager.
Anyway, concentrate.
'The super-accurate speedo read in kilometres 'so the magic number we'd be looking for is 414 kilometres per hour.
' If I reach maximum speed, I'll be drinking fuel at the rate of 1.
7 gallons a minute.
The radiators will be sucking through four tonnes of air an hour.
Just before the 5.
5-mile straight is some steep banking, which I'd have to enter at exactly 125 miles per hour.
Then I have to change down as I pass a series of bollards, ready to give it the beans as I come out the other end.
Here we go.
Here's the banking.
Here comes the first bollard.
Change down one.
Here's a bollard.
Change down two.
Here's a bollard.
Change down three times.
Godspeed, Captain Slow! Whoa! Bloody hell, look at the speed of that! Doing 258 260.
I'm going faster than I can speak! 300! That is amazing! It's so stable.
I'm already up to 340.
Bloody Nora! It's unbelievable! Look how fast everything's going past! There's 400.
'In Queen's English, that's Come on, come on, come on! I'm past my old record.
'Now we were into the unknown.
' Slightly twitchy.
Come on! Come on! Yes! I think I may have whupped your ass.
Whoo-hoo! 'And the speedo kept climbing.
' HE LAUGHS HE LAUGHS Whoo-hoo! Bloody hell, that was exciting.
No, no, wait! No! I'm sorry Are you seriously suggesting that now we open the Guinness Book of World Records and it says, "Fastest man on earth - James May?" LAUGHTER Not exactly.
What do you mean, not exactly? Well, after I'd done my run, Bugatti sent a test driver out, because they thought he'd like a crack at it, and this is what happened.
So there he goes.
He's got to do a run in each direction and take an average.
There's my old record already gone.
As we can see, the speedo is still climbing.
There's him celebrating.
I added my congratulations soon afterwards.
Damn him! So he obviously did it both w ays,which you have to do.
What was his average, then? What's that in Church of England?267 Oooh.
In a car with windscreen wipers? And a CD player! In a road car? That's staggering.
We ought to find out, really, how fast this goes round the track.
Anybody want to see that? Yes! OK, that, of course, means handing over to our racing driver.
Some say the Scottish released him a little bit too soon.
LAUGHTER And that he spent all week pushing an effigy of Rubens Barrichello through his desk fan.
LAUGHTER What we know is, he's called the Stig! And he's off and just look how fast that thing fires off the line - smoking all four tyres.
OK, first corner.
Simply flies into those, almost cartoonishly fast.
Just sensational.
"Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees And in the midst of this ferocious speed still has a stereo to listen to.
Takes it gently round Chicago, now popping off the limiter, Hammerhead, air brake goes vertical generating 0.
7G of braking - same as the actual brakes of a Fiesta.
Veyron but still a heavy car.
# Staying alive, staying alive # Your brain honestly can barely take in how fast this thing is.
What's really weird is it hardly makes any noise.
Listen! Just staggering.
Two corners to go.
Here we go.
Using all the grip of those 20 grand tyres.
This is the Stig on maximum attack and there he is, across the line! CHEERING So Here's the old Veyron 1.
We're expecting this to bea little bit faster.
But is it fast enough ? Well, look at these.
These are the ones - 17s.
The Gumpert, the Ascari and so on.
Well, this one, the Super Sport, did it in 1 .
Oh! Fastest car ever CHEERING AND APPLAUSE .
ever to go round our track.
Now it's time to put a star in our reasonably-priced car.
We had a bit of a problem, if we're honest, because we had Jedward booked.
LAUGHTER At the last minute, they pulled out.
So we rang Cameron Diaz LAUGHTER We did.
We said, "Would you mind awfully coming on the show?" She said, "Sure.
Love to.
"But only if I can bring Tom Cruise.
" LAUGHTER So, ladies and gentlemen, here on this pokey motoring show on BBC Two LAUGHTER Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise! CHEERING How are you? Fine, yourself? How are you? CHEERING DROWNS SPEECH Do have a seat.
Thank you.
That's a bitof a reaction! I know! It was a lot of fun.
Can I just say, what staggers me is, sitting here, it's almost like I've been joined by the genetic blueprint for the human race with these two.
What do you think?LAUGHTER In design, in evolution, we'll reach a point where they look like this.
Cos how do you know? You embark on acting when you're in your late teens.
How do you know that later on in life you aren't going to become, well For instance, Tom, why don't you have ear hair? Next time I come on the show I'll be like this.
And then it'll go at the back Curling it and trimming it.
Cos it's not like either of you have taken care of yourself.
You've broken every bonein your body over the years.
I've broken my nose a couple of times and fingers and my leg and toes, ribs.
And you do your own stunts.
You are proud of the fact that youdo a lot of jumping up and downand falling off things.
Yeah, I do most of them.
Do they hurt? Yeah.
LAUGHTER Yes, some of them REALLY hurt.
And you would have thought you would have looked in a mirror and thought, "I'm quite good looking, I'd better take care of this.
" How many times have you broken yournose? Well, it started very early, I was 11.
I broke my nose four times since I was 11.
Four? Yes.
Four times.
Four times.
BLEEP finds my face.
It just does.
Can you say thaton television here? OK.
Now, the new movie, Knight And Day, my kind of film, I have to say.
Everything explodes, lots of close-ups of Cameron, and you're funny.
Is this comedy, is this a new Obviously not for you.
She was so funny.
I've done a few comedies.
You had the gentleman juicein your hair.
Yes, I did.
One of the great comedy moments of our time.
It didn't take very long for it to get there either.
It just was a very quick LAUGHTER What I meant was No This is why I love Cameron, I have to tell you.
It's so much fun working with her.
No, but I love comedy.
The comedy stuff I started with Risky Business and I've always had comedic elements in different characters.
I've had some intense films over the years and I really want to do some comedy now.
I was excited to do this film because of the comedy and the adventure and working with Cameron.
I love doing comedy.
We've put a trailer together.
So let's have a look at that.
I want to talk about this guy.
He was some sort of secret agent.
Oh, no, no, no Hi, June.
Who are you? This is the guy.
I'm the guy.
It's the guy.
I'm the guy! For your own safety, please stay in the booth.
What are you talking Stay there, or I kill myself and then her.
Rodney Rodney! Shot you through and through, Nowhere near the femoral artery.
It's all good.
Might even get a promotion.
Good? On your own, your life expectancy is like here.
With me, it's here.
With me, without me.
On three.
Ready? Uh-huh.
One Sorry, I panicked.
What numberwould you like? Three.
Let's just stick with three.
It's good.
CHEERING Um I'm sorry about this.
You look great in it but the thing is, in the movie, you restore muscle cars for a living.
This is pornography.
What? What is it you have to check in at the airport? Triple Deuce.
A carburetor.
A Triple Deuce carburetor.
Do you find this as well?When girls start talking about About cars and engines.
Ohhhhhh! Could you say a six-barrel carburettor for a '66 Vette? A six-barrel carburetor for a '66 Vette.
I'm actually having a crisis.
Do you put a lot of effort into choosing the cars you use in movies? For example, in this movie, was there a lot of effort went into the cars that were used? It's fun.
We all sit around and talk about which cars and motorcycles.
We look at the train and we line up a bunch of bikes and we look at the stunts that we're going to develop, if there's going to be a lot of jumps.
We used the Ducati on this one.
You were on cobbled streets We needed a lighter motorcycle, we needed something I could hold Cameron around.
That's a stunt I've been wanting to do for many, many years.
LAUGHTER Have Cameron, you know It's not just you in this, you were doing your own stuntsas well.
There's this great scene where the GTO, the daddy of muscle cars, and you're flicking it around allover the place.
It's a lot of fun.
One of the things was, you often see actors coming on, saying, "Yeah, I did my own stunts", so I thought it would be a good ideato say, "Come on, Cameron,take me out on the track.
" Yeah.
Anybody want to see I do.
Let's have a look at this.
This is just about as good as life gets, really.
It's going.
You've got it.
CHEERING Thank you, Jeremy.
See? You see? All you've got to do is go like this and "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Yeah.
How much fun is that? I was vomiting.
What cars do you drive to the shops in? What are you everyday cars? Right now, I mostly I drive a lot of motorcycles right now.
Bikes? Recently, a lot ofmotorcycles.
He does.
So what have you got? Let's run through them.
I have a '34 Indian.
that used to belong to Steve McQueen.
There you go.
That's actually it, is it? Yep.
That was Steve McQueen's old Indian? Yeah.
What I'm interested in, this Virus, it looks the mostincredible bike I've ever seen.
It is incredible.
That bike is beautiful.
Where's it made? Italy.
And you have to be measuredfor this, do you? Yes.
They do your measurements and build it to your specifications, my height and weight and how I like to ride.
So it's a tailored bike.
Yeah, that's a tailored bike.
Do you like bikes, Cameron?No, I don't.
I ride on the back of them very well.
It's a good way of dealing withthe paparazzi if you've got The helmet on.
I wear a helmet when I drive my Prius You've got a Prius?! I love the PriusLAUGHTER So what cars I thought it wasyour favourite car.
It IS my favourite car.
Is that what you drive in and out of town? We expect it.
I'm married to my Prius.
Love it.
I discovered you had a Mustang Celine, the tuned Mustang.
The other Mustang that I'm interested in of yours is your P-51, which is a WWll fighter rather than a car.
I just love I grew up and we travelled a lot and every time we travelled I had a picture of a Spitfire and a P-51.
As a little boy I'd fall asleep looking at the pictures of airplanes on my wall and I always wanted to fly it.
Years later I got my licence and started flying aerobatics just to train on taildraggers so that one day I could fly a P-51.
Have you ever been in those fast jets that you flew in Top Gun? Yes.
You flew in the F- 15, yeah.
I flew in the F-14.
The Navy one.
I flew also in the F-16 in Korea.
Can I just ask This is really embarrassing, because it's Tom Cruise Did you puke? Yes, I did.
I had three flights in one day.
Actually, when you see the film, some of the shots are in the airplane and we were doing heavy air combat manoeuvres.
My pilot's name was Bozo and I had the bag right there, so I leaned down to fill the bag and as I leaned down, he pulled up, went right up.
My head was on the floor and I'm trying to hit the mic and I'm going "Mother! Mother! " My head is banging on the floor, pulling up I finally came up and I said, "What are you doing?" He says, "Well they don't call me Bozo for nothing.
" Anyway, obviously, you came here to see how fast you could driveour reasonably priced cararound our track.
You're 33 films, you're 30, I think this is the peak of your career now.
I'm thinking of maybe Cameron's lap first of all.
Yeah? Ladies first? Good idea?AUDIENCE: Yes! OK, let's have a look.
So we're off, and that's a good start.
That's a good look.
Here we go.
How do you manage to suit a helmet? Nobody looks good in a helmet.
She looks good in a helmet.
That's perfect.
Ugh, that's fifth.
These BLEEP English gears.
They're Korean, actually.
To be honest, they're Korean gears.
Sorry, Stig, totally BLEEP it up.
He's never heard that word.
No?He doesn't know it exists.
Now, did you keep it in the lines? Poetry, in essence.
BLEEP me! Corner.
BLEEP Some of this is broadcastable.
Was that flat out through there? Are you flat out? You didn'tlift off? It's flat out.
Flat out, and then that's a beautiful line through there.
The traditional cee'd understeer and there we are, across the line.
APPLAUSE Very good.
What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? Tell me, tell me, what is my time? I think we'll look at Tom's lapfirst, shall we? Who wants to see Tom's lap? AUDIENCE: Yeah.
TYRES SQUEAL Nice start.
And coming up now to the first corner.
That's a serious looking face.
I'm going, "Is this third gear? "That's what I kept doing.
That's quite an interesting line through there.
The Formula 1 drivers come out really wide but Stig thinks that's right.
See if I can get this to turn right.
Let's have a look.
Ooh, that's That's a lesson in how to do it.
Now Hammerhead.
This is the hardest corner of the lot.
Did you stay in the lines like Cameron did? No.
You see, Cameron, you can grin there.
Now, we're flat out here all the way to the end.
Nice gearbox Flat through there.
Yeah, and flat through the next bit.
That's so much fun.
It is good.
This one's really fun too.
And then This is awesome.
You got it right that time.
We could have killed you! CHEERING What if we'd actually killed you? I felt the wind come underneath.
I was feathering like a kite.
"I'm on two wheels!" Thank God you managed to get it backon all four wheels again.
It was great fun.
So what do we think? Fastest man's a wizard, Rupert Grint at 1:45.
5 Slowest in the dry laps is Nick Robinson, Political Editor for the BBC.
He did it it 1:49.
So, Cameron, ladies first.
This is the piece of paper with the times on it.
Good luck.
Thanks, buddy.
Cameron Diaz, you did it in one forty five two.
CHEERING Wow! Yes! Well done, you.
Yes! Now, that's a magnanimous face but, let's be honest, you're quietly crapping yourself.
Oh, my God.
2, I doubt.
Oh, just give it over.
Give it over! Give it to him! Even Tom Cruise leans forward.
"I'm not interested.
I'm not interested.
" Tom Cruise, you did it in one forty OK.
APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH When I was on two wheels, I thought, "I don't know what's going to happen.
" Two wheels is obviously the fastest way You are a man who likes racing, but that's quick.
When the two wheels were going through I'm not going to come off and they said, "This is it.
" So I was thinking, "If I go through on the side, does the time still count?" LAUGHTER It was That was a breathtaking thing.
My whole day has just been It's been just Wow.
Such an honour to meet you, Tom.
This was the best day.
Cameron, thank youvery much for making me sick.
What's that? Thank youfor making me feel sick.
Oh, you are so welcome Ladies and gentlemen Thank you so much.
Thank you all.
Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you so much.
That was so much fun.
Came to see a show about cars and you get to see Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.
They're great.
Anyway, anyway slight change of mood.
Had he lived, Ayrton Senna would have celebrated his 50th birthday earlier this year.
The weird thing is, I was talking about this to my 14-year-old son, and he went, "Oh yeah, was he that racing driver that got killed?" That makes me feel really old.
I know, it's awful, but the thing is, I said to him, "If you'd seen his funeral, you'd know he was a bit more than that.
" 'One of the world's greatest motor racing drivers, Ayrton Senna, 'has died after a crash ' 'Senna, three times a world champion, 'suffered massive head injuries ' GERMAN COMMENTARY 'A million people lined the streets of his home city 'The Brazilian government has called in full military officers ' 'His home country has declared three days of mourning.
' I think I was nine years old and I was racing that weekend and I just came in from a heat or a practise session and my dad was working away on the car and I remember him telling me.
I remember going round to the back of the car and just balled my eyes out.
At nine years I remember it like it was yesterday.
Exactly where I was, what spot.
I could take you there right now.
In Brazil, they remember Ayrton Senna as a sporting hero who gave a way millions to help underprivileged children.
Elsewhere in the world, though, we remember him best for this 'And Senna goes through.
' 'Senna goes through again!' Ayrton Senna did race in Formula 1 from 1984- to his death at Imola in 1994.
'Ayrton Senna wins at Monaco.
' In that time, he won the world championship three times.
The figures suggest that Schumacher and Fangio were better, but the people who know, they tell a different story.
I think, Senna, I would put him in number one.
For me, Senna is number one.
For me, he was number one.
I would Ayrton Senna as number one.
For me, Ayrton Senna undoubtedly was the number one.
I would put him number one.
He was the greatest driver.
If you ask me, I put Senna as well in number one.
Martin Brundle, who races against the Brazilian for 11 years, is well qualified to explain why Senna was the ultimate drivers driver.
He had a God given talent that I haven't witnessed anywhere else.
I sixth sense of where the grip was before he turned into a corner.
If you look at this Lotus, even when it's going in a straight line, it is dancing.
And there.
You look at these and you think, I can't do that.
I think Senna has the ability to be able to drive completely on the limit.
Some of the laps he did, we know were, were unbelievable.
And this is just This is manic.
Look at this.
How he reads those two guys, he's absolutely on it, isn't he? This is Look at that.
'Senna was so good at banzai last minute qualifying laps 'that in his Formula 1 career, he won an incredible 65 poll positions.
Had had this gift to just go and find We could all find a tenth or two, the really great drivers could go and find half a second or three quarters of a second.
'Ayrton Senna ' However, Senna could do even better than that.
In Monaco in 1988, he out qualified his teammate, the great Alain Prost, by a scarcely believable one and a half seconds.
Nobody, in the end, wanted to spoil Senna's poll lap.
When you saw the day-glow McLaren and the very bright helmet of Ayrton Senna, he would come through and we literally jumped out of the way.
You didn't want to be the one they talked about as having blown the lap that the whole of the Grand Prix venue was looking forward to.
'But it wasn't just out and out speed that made Senna special.
' He was so good because he was working so hard on details.
I brought the car also there and there, but he went in the fine details.
That's why he was fantastic.
The worst is here.
The worst is the second chicane.
Beneath the first chicane.
But it is because the asphalt goes like this in the third chicane and it's like this.
In the second chicane it's, you're coming bumpy.
If I think back to when I was his test driver at the beginning of the '94 season, after the second day he had a small incident and tweaked his neck and that was it.
The test was over as far as he was concerned.
Er, I came in the following day and he was there! I thought, "OK, "he must have made a miraculous recovery," but in fact he was just there to listen to what I was saying to the engineers, to work out whether he could trust my feedback.
When I compare that being Nigel Mansell's test driver, he would set a lap time and then he would bugger off to the golf course.
Another weapon in Senna's armoury was his utter ruthlessness.
'Prost having a look, Senna driving him into the pit wall.
' 'Schumacher trying to take Ayrton Senna.
'Let's see if the Brazilian moves across.
'Indeed he did.
' He often used to put us in a position, erm, that you were going to have an accident and he would leave it up to you to decide whether to have that accident or not.
Martin experienced this psychological warfare first of all when racing against Senna in Formula 3.
Look, I've got a great big lead here and he launches in from nowhere and then parks on my shoulder.
I couldn't get out of the car until they lifted his car off the top of mine.
When he wanted to overtake, he'd go on the inside and put the car in a place If you tried to take the corner, you're going to hit him.
He would put you in a compromising position and leave you to make that decision.
And if you didn't run into to him, psychologically you're buried and finished.
He would then know that every time after that it showed your wheel, you'll jump out of the way.
'He's got Mansell all over him.
He has no reason to stay out ' 'Even the giants from Senna's era respected his toughness.
' I don't think there was any qualifying session or any race he went into the wasn't prepared to put it on the line.
'All over the back, he's having a look and he's inside Mansell.
' He was the toughest driver and the most ferocious driver to, um, protect his area or space.
'Senna - all his skills involved.
'He's got a much, much slower car and clapped out tires on his car.
'Mansell's got fresh rubber on.
All the grip in the world.
'Blocking away and sliding a lot.
Senna's knocking it down.
' 'Mansell weaving this way and that way, but Senna won't let him past.
'He's got the racing line and he's going to keep it.
' This will to win reached it's peak at the Japanese Grand Prix in 1990.
Here, Senna would be world champion providing his arch rival, Alain Prost, now at Ferrari, failed to finish.
So, at the first corner, he made sure Prost failed to finish.
'Alain Prost has taken the advantage, 'Senna is trying to go through on the inside, 'and it's happened immediately! This is amazing! 'Senna goes off at the first corner.
' 'Yes, and that makes Ayrton Senna world champion this year.
' He doesn't even try to break? No, no, no.
At that point when they are back there, Senna, if he wanted to stay in the race, you'd have seen two puffs of blue smoke from his front tires.
That gap was always going to disappear.
He was driving into a disappearing wedge.
After the crash, he showed absolutely no contrition.
When there is a gap, you either commit yourself, as a professional racing driver that is designed to win races, or you come second or you come third or you come fifth.
I am not designed to come third, fourth or fifth.
I race to win.
If you no longer go for a gap that exists, you're no longer a racing driver.
Strangely, Senna had a big heart.
He was a devote Christian capable of extraordinary compassion.
When fellow racing driver Erik Comas crashed in 1992, Senna stopped and risked his own life running across the track to help.
That's the paradox of Ayrton Senna, isn't it.
In that he was clearly a fantastic human being.
And he cared about people in Brazil, he cared about racing drivers.
I mean he was mortally hurt when Ratzenberger died the day before he died.
But then he would crash Alain Prost off the race track and put both their lives at risk.
As a man, Ayrton Senna was hard to fathom, but when it rained it was easy to spot his talents as a driver.
'And Senna is a wet weather master!' This is Donnington in 1993.
The track is wet and Senna, in an inferior McLaren, is in trouble at the start.
'Coming up well Senna is crowded out and down to fifth position.
'Wendliger is up into third place ahead of Schumacher 'Prost leads, Hill second, and Ayrton Senna is up to fourth position ahead of Schumacher.
'Challenging Wendliger as they go round the right-hander into the old hairpin.
Senna is up to third.
'A quite brilliant couple of corners by Ayrton Senna.
'Tremendous stuff.
He muscled his way back into the contention at Redgate.
'He's going inside Damon Hill and Senna into second place already.
' 'So, two retirements already and Senna goes through into the lead! 'He's past Alain Prost so ' And that was it.
One lap, fifth to first.
If you want to have 40 seconds of, what is Ayrton Senna the racing driver all about? There it is in a nutshell.
After the race, though, he was completely calm.
Driving with slicks in damp and really slippery conditions was was tremendous.
Conditions like this is gambling and it's taking chances that pays off and I think we gambled good.
Of course you have to remember that Senna was doing his gambling in cars that were like wild ferocious animals.
This McLaren MP44, in which he won eight races and his first world championship, had very little down force, a manual gear box and It is the last of the turbo charged monsters.
One of the greatest racing cars ever made.
And today, it's going to rumble again in the hands of Senna's number one fan.
I'm nervous.
There it is.
Wooooo! I can't believe that, um Oh, jeez LEWIS GIGGLES You've just got back from the Canadian Grand Prix this morning? Yeah.
I couldn't sleep.
Really? I slept like an hour or so on the flight.
I couldn't get to sleep Cos you get to drive Senna's MP4? I just can't imagine what it's going to be like.
I just have this I have this sound in my head of the car roaring and going through Monaco streets when he's one handed.
I'm going to go one handed and see what it's like round one of the corners.
Let's go, let's go.
LAUGHS EXCITEDLY Woo-hoo-hoo! Oh, yeah! Whoa-ho-ho-ho, my God! The racing back in the mid '80s was, I mean there's an incredible scene with Nelson Pike overtaking Senna on full opposite lock.
Very little in the way of safety, very little in the way of aerodynamic grip.
Manual gearboxes, Yeah, and the cockpit, you could almost punch through it.
So you think, jeez, you're driving around at those speeds, your wheel falls off, the mechanic makes a mistake, you're dead.
It's phenomenal and I can't even contemplate what it would have been like, but, er So that's why I think you have even more respect for the guys that did it back then.
You had to be, back in the '80s Crazy.
You know, you've got your Mansells, Pikes, Prost The drivers were It's justthe right time incredible and you think that shining out from all of those drivers in that great era Yep Senna rose to the top.
Senna rose to the top.
I don't want to go in.
Let's do another lap! I loved the fact that he would fight for what he truly believed in.
It's just everything! He puts everything into getting that lap and he had no fear.
That's what I loved about it.
I love this car! I love it.
Come on.
LEWIS SIGHS That's amazing.
Oh, it' so much It's nothing like the car I drive nowadays.
But just to know the commitment and to get used to driving this car on the limit, I just I just couldn't imagine it, man.
It's one of the best days of my life.
I just feel so blessed, you know.
I dreamed my whole life of driving that car.
My whole, my whole life.
I just, er, just ticked off one of my dreams.
I'll be honest with you, I was never a Senna fan.
I always thought Gilles Villeneuve was the greatest racing driver of them all, but to make this film, I've watched hours and hours and hours of footage and the thing is, Villeneuve was spectacular on a number of occasions Senna, he was spectacular every single time he got in a car.
There's an amazing film coming out in the next year and I urge you all to go and see it.
It's fantastic.
But for now, goodnight.