Top Gear (US) s01e05 Episode Script

Beater Boot Camp

Ferrara: Now on "Top Gear" We fix GM using eggs and soda What is wrong with you?! We almost drown while driving Foust: It's cold! It's cold.
And we welcome skateboard legend Tony Hawk to our track.
Whoo! That one felt good.
[cheers and applause.]
Welcome to "Top Gear.
" On this show, nobody will be made the next top model.
Nobody will fall off a big, red, rubber ball.
But if you like cars, this is where you belong.
I'm Adam Ferrara, that's Tanner Foust, and this is Rutledge Wood.
We start tonight with General Motors.
A few years ago, the U.
S.
government bought about 60% of GM to help save the company for $50 billion.
That's $50 billion paid to the U.
S.
government by you and me.
That works out to $163 per person.
And for 163 bucks, we all get a part of GM, a very small part.
It's .
00000002%, to be exact.
So the idea is that if we can find one top-selling car for GM, we would all win.
So we each picked a great GM car from the past.
We put it through a series of tests to see which one would best protect our investment.
[Derek and the dominos' "Layla" plays.]
Foust: We decided to meet in Detroit, Michigan, motor city, the automotive center of the world.
Adam was the first to arrive.
I have chosen the Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme, one of the most popular name plates in automotive history.
This car was introduced in 1961 and sold 11.
9 million, until it ended its production life in 1999.
This car was made when gm owned the American roads, and it was because of cars like this.
Look at it.
It's friggin' beautiful! This particular model has the V-8, the classic Oldsmobile rocket 350.
And you can tell by its lines, it was designed during the pinnacle of the muscle-car era.
Ferrara: They also knew how to combine muscle-car stylings with a reasonably upscale interior.
In fact, this was one of the last attractive GM interiors before everything became plasticky and cheap.
I always liked the roofline on the Cutlass Supreme.
It was a more formal notchback, rather than a fastback.
The other things I love about cars of this era, is the high beams are on the floor.
So when you're driving, you can just tell people to get out of my way! Tanner's a coke dealer.
A Pontiac Fiero.
This thing could save GM.
It's like a hero car.
It's like an exotic car for everyman.
It's a chick's car.
It's the only mass-produced mid-engine car ever in America.
Which they stopped after four years.
It's designed after a Ferrari 308.
- It's gold! - [chuckles .]
"Fiero" in Italian means "proud.
" Absolutely.
You brought back a fad, okay? This is basically parachute pants.
I had 26 zippers on one pair of pants.
You know what? That doesn't surprise me at all.
You found the biggest car in a 50-mile radius - and bought it again.
- Yes! - What is up with that? - That's great.
It's a man's car! It's an old man's car.
No.
No, no, no, my friend.
This is the '71 Cutlass Supreme.
That's an executive hot rod.
What do you think Rutledge is gonna get? I have no idea.
[horn honking.]
Oh, my God.
Mom's here! You're kidding.
Fellas, allow me to introduce the Buick Roadmaster Estate Wagon.
Tell me the inside doesn't smell like Virginia slims cigarettes.
Look, it holds eight people with the seats down, you can fit a 4x8 sheet of plywood, and it'll tow 5,000 pounds.
- It's got the vista roof.
- Yeah, how about that? This could be the most usable car GM ever produced.
But the fact that it's got that much power makes it really fun.
I mean, it's a total boat.
You cruise in style.
And with this luxury of the vinyl fake-wood paneling, - it lets everybody know, "I'm classy.
" - Foust: You know what? I have never seen you and Clark Griswold in the same place at the same time, now that I think about it.
Let me guess.
You brought the Fiero.
Absolutely brought the Fiero.
Of course you brought the Fiero.
I mean, look at it.
It just screams "I love the '80s".
Don't be jealous.
Is bananarama still together? And this - Wow.
- Where's the mast and the sail? You're kidding.
You're really gonna with this? Foust: Yeah, you got nothing to talk about - on that one, Rutledge.
- This thing's sleek.
The turning radius on this is Pennsylvania.
That could fit in the back if I laid my seats down.
This is a mid-engine masterpiece.
And you know what the best part about this mid engine is? - What's that? - It bursts into flames.
Can you do a brake stand in this thing? - You bet I can.
- Let's see it.
Done.
[tires screeching.]
She's a buick all right! Look at that! [coughing.]
Foust: While the smoke cleared, it was obvious we were never going to agree which out-of-production car was the best.
But, fortunately, the producers had come up with a series of challenges to help us decide.
"America loves a road trip, "so to prove that your vehicle has the stamina for the long haul, "you'll need to drive them 100 Miles to Marshall, Michigan.
" Are you kidding me? Road trip in the Roadmaster! You're gonna be surfing that water bed.
I'll be there waiting for you, fellas.
- Have fun in the incredible hulk.
- It's a test color! Wood: We were representatives of the American people.
And if our hard-earned dollars were going to a car company, we were gonna make sure that car was the best.
The cars deserved a second chance.
Who knows what variables were at play when these cars were in production, that might be different today? The car may have failed because they didn't have the proper technology to make them competitive.
They could have had a bad marketing campaign, or the design could have been too ahead of its time.
Foust: Frickin' light doesn't work.
[clicking.]
Come on! We were on a road trip, and it was the perfect time to get to know our cars a little better.
There's the cops right there.
If there's any car that attracts attention in this group for the police, it's the Fiero because this thing looks fast just standing still.
In the '80s, Fiero actually took down the all-mighty Mustangs and Camaros, at sears point consecutively.
The balance of the mid engine is undeniable.
Ferrari has found success in it, and their whole brand is based on racing.
140 horsepower, though I mean, mid -'80s, that wasn't bad.
2,500-pound car, that's pretty quick.
You put your foot in it [engine revving.]
That's not bad.
The Fiero's really about a great concept and a poor follow through.
In large part, it was due to a recall where they actually had to fix every single Fiero ever made.
Wood: Ooh, what's that? A little power.
There we go.
Under the hood, you've got a detuned LT1.
So it's basically a Corvette motor with a little bit different heads.
And it's geared so you can really get this car up and going because it weighs almost 4,500 pounds.
You need a little torque to get you around.
Maybe things that aren't so great about it Well It is a little floaty.
The suspension could be a bit tighter.
[chuckling.]
And the seats don't really hold you.
- You like my car? - I do.
I love it.
It's a Roadmaster.
It's a station wagon.
You probably didn't even notice.
- I didn't! - I love you! Look at that.
Pretty girls talking to me in the wagon.
[scoffs.]
This thing.
How you doing? Good.
I like that car.
You like my ride? Thank you.
If we were to bring this car back, would you buy it? - I sure would.
- Thank you so much, darlin'.
She likes my ride.
The Cutlass Supreme was retired in 1997, three years before oldsmobile went out of business.
But it really didn't matter.
By that time, the design evolved into this emasculated front-wheel-drive shell of itself.
Not like this sweet ride I'm in now.
This is a luxury muscle car.
It's got everything in it A.
M.
/F.
M.
Stereo That doesn't work Air conditioning That needs to be fixed.
But it's got the rocket 350.
It handles a little boat-like Not like Rutledge's staten island ferry.
This really is one of the best road-trip cars you could have.
When this was new, this is a car you would pack the family into and head across the country to Walley World.
[ As Marty Moose .]
Sorry, folks, park's closed! [ Lindsey Buckingham's "holiday road" plays .]
Even though we were in separate cars, I felt like we were one big family taking a road trip.
Whew.
Man.
This thing is comfy.
It's like a la-z-boy with a steering wheel in front of it.
Adam was already complaining Hot! And Tanner was enjoying his toy.
Foust: I'm impressed.
For a 24-year-old car, it runs nice.
Not on fire or anything.
["Holiday road" continues.]
If you brought back this car, you could not only save GM, but you could also make some cool cars.
You make the wagon.
Off that, you build the Caprice, a hot-rod Impala SS, and then cut off the back of the wagon, and what do you got? Dun da da da! Your new El Camino.
GM is saved.
Thank you, Rutledge Wood! Wow.
[disco music plays.]
Ferrara: So if I was gonna upgrade this car, I'd lighten it up a little bit.
Maybe a fiberglass hood or carbon fiber, depending on my cost.
I'd turbo charge and direct inject the rocket 350, and I'd fix the friggin' air conditioning.
Hot! Tanner, are you gonna put another tiny, hard-to-work-on V-6 back there? Foust: Negatory, my friend.
LS7.
Are you gonna change that in your redesign? Foust: The redesign is gonna be epic.
Believe me, it's gonna start with a race car, and it's gonna trickle the technology into the road.
It's gonna establish GM as a world racing power and change the brand altogether.
The majority of y'all's target market was conceived in the back of a Roadmaster wagon.
I know that much.
Granted.
You got that one.
Ferrara: 75 Miles into our journey across Michigan, our family dynamic began to break down.
Papa bear was getting annoyed because the cubs were wandering.
Tanner, you might want to just slow down just a hair.
Foust: All right, dad.
I'm going the speed limit.
Slow down! [bleep.]
[bleep.]
Don't make me separate you two.
You guys can't keep up? This will help if you'll slow down, get in the right-hand Lane, and the three of us get together, then no one will sound like [bleep.]
Too late.
[laughs.]
It's like 8-year-olds with licenses! That's what a road trip is like with these two.
Wood: Our cars successfully completed their first challenge The 100-mile road trip to Marshall.
But soon, we realized that the producers didn't just send us to any town.
Marshall was home to Eaton Proving Grounds, a place where our three cars would enter, but only one would leave.
Ferrara: Coming up, the Fiero fights back in the battle to save GM.
You're gonna hit my car! Wood: The 100-mile round trip in our out-of-production GM cars ended at Eaton Proving Grounds An automotive torture chamber.
This proving grounds was like marine corps training for cars.
It had a banked test track designed to wear down every moving part An intimidating hill that seemed to stretch straight into the sky And a skid pad so slick you could ice skate on it.
Each section was designed specifically to expose a car's greatest weakness.
This was not going to be a walk in the park, but it would help us decide which car was best to bring back from the dead.
Our first challenge at eaton was a classic zero to 60, and the Roadmaster was ready for it.
What are you gonna do in the power wagon there? I'm going 9.
Days? You guys want to make jokes or you want to watch me haul ass? - Go! - [tires screeching.]
Nice start.
I like it.
40 50 60! Shade over 9 seconds.
That's a pretty fast grocery getter.
I used most of a tank right there.
[engine turns over.]
Ferrara: Rutledge got the Titanic moving quicker than I thought, but it was still going to be no match for my rocket 350.
Carefully! Clear! Thank you.
That's it.
The smoky burnout.
I got 12.
5.
Tanner was next with a measly 140 horsepower, but the Fiero only weighs 2,700 pounds.
Tanner only weighs 80 pounds, so he definitely had a power-to-weight advantage.
You ready, "breakfast club"? Yeah, I'm ready.
[tires screeching.]
There's 40, 45, 50, 55, 60.
I don't know how that looked from the outside, but, damn, that was so fast inside here.
What was it? Come on, let's go.
Wood: Tanner's Fiero had beaten the Roadmaster by a full 2 seconds.
It was time to go on to the next challenge.
"You may have noticed a 'Top Gear' production vehicle "parked on a 20% grade incline.
"It's being held by its parking brake.
"This is your next challenge.
"Drive up the incline, put your vehicle in neutral, "apply the parking brake, "go pick up the bowling ball, put it in your car, and drive over the hill.
" You know what? I'll go first.
- Great.
- Roadmaster should.
Wood: It's just you and me.
Got nothing to worry about.
I'm just gonna pull up this hill, and then I'm gonna put you in neutral.
And then I'm gonna put the parking brake on, okay? Look, he's got to get psyched up to go do it.
And I need you to brake so I can get that bowling ball.
Come on, Roadmaster.
Here we go.
Nice and easy up the hill.
And there's the bowling ball.
- And - [ Brake creaking .]
- It is gonna hold? - I heard it.
Okay.
Okay.
I don't know if I would get out of it.
That's door's gonna close and lock on him.
[laughs.]
He did it.
He did it.
[tires screeching.]
Foust: Adam and the jolly green giant were next.
All right.
[brake creaking.]
It sounds like it's there.
It's not there.
This is dangerous.
- Is that his phone that just fell out? - He lost some chiclets.
- Oh, damn it! - A good try! Ferrara: The hill was too steep, and the e-brake was too tired.
Damn it.
And I needed a new phone.
Next it was Tanner's turn.
[brake creaking.]
Foust: I didn't know it at the time, but one of the many Fiero recalls was for the e-brake.
The transportation safety bulletin on it basically said I was screwed.
Ferrara: There you g oh, there it is! Dude, you're gonna hit my car! Ohh! What is wrong with you?! Wood: That car hates you, Adam! I think he beat you.
A little buckle.
That'll buff out.
- Ohh.
Ohh.
- He's got to do that, too.
- You have to bring the ball here.
- Should we just leave it parked.
Thank you.
Oh It's plastic.
It doesn't dent.
- Yeah, I know.
- I'm surprised you didn't know that.
Foust: Rutledge was getting so confident that he decided to peacock a bit and attack the 60% hill climb.
Wood: Oh, I got this.
[tires screeching.]
Go! Go! - [laughs.]
- I almost had it! [both laugh.]
Ferrara: Next, the producers came up with a challenge that would test our cars' handling capabilities in extreme conditions.
"The professionals at Eaton "have set up a course on their low-traction skid pad.
"You'll need to navigate your way through the cones.
That doesn't sound so hard.
- No.
- Cool.
Foust: "You'll be given 1032-ounce cups of soda "that all have to be within reach.
"The car with the fastest time and the least amount of spillage, wins.
" Oh, I forgot, it's a manual.
That's gonna be tough.
There would be a 5-second penalty for every soda that spilled.
And the best news of all Tanner had no cup holders.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Here we go! 3, 2, 1, go! Oh, God! It's all gone! [bleep.]
- Did you see how much just went down? - Ferrara: Oh! Oh, that's so cold! - They're gone! They're all gone! - I've got to save at least one of them.
Oh, it's cold.
It's cold.
It's cold on the balls.
Mother of all that is sacred! [both laugh.]
Is that one cup left? [both laugh.]
That was a bad idea.
There were two cups.
Rutledge was next.
All right, Rutledge.
Rutledge's la-z-boy on wheels was practically built out of cup holders.
Now, remember, it's a combination of Ferrara: Speed, time And spillage, so the time is critical.
You ready? Go! Oh, no! Oh, that's so cold! Hold on with me.
Right? Wow, he's going pretty quick, actually.
Oh, just let it stop.
Oh! [groans.]
Come on, Rutledge.
And stop.
[laughing.]
Ohh, my gosh! Look at all these.
Look at how much I saved.
- Foust: Not bad, Rutledge.
- Ferrara: That's pretty good.
You have five full cups left.
Wood: That means I was wearing five cups.
I didn't feel so bad because Adam was next.
And his car didn't have any cup holders.
3, 2, 1, go! Oh! Ohh! Oh, that's cold! I think my left one was just frightened into my body.
[shivers.]
Foust: Oh, he spun.
Ohh.
That is gonna be wet.
Oh, he's coming into the box.
He's finally getting there.
Aw, come on! And stop.
Wood: Adam saved four cups.
Then the producers made us do our own math to figure out the winner.
Okay, so I got a 1:09? Yeah, you had a 1:09.
5.
1:09 with a four-cup penalty, which is 20 seconds.
So I got 1:29.
So out of 51, so I had about a 7-minute run.
- Pretty much.
- Really? I had a 55-second run, and I lost five cups.
So that would mean a 1:20.
- [ Sighs .]
- That means I won! This is awesome! This is awesome! What's next?! Bring it on! The Roadmaster's ready! Whoo! [cheers and applause.]
My shirt is still stinky.
(laughs) There's more GM to come.
But it is now time for the news.
Gentlemen, did you know Google has invented a car that drives itself? It uses video cameras.
It has radar sensors and laser range finders to "see" other traffic.
And the president of Google, a man named Eric Schmidt, he says and I'm quoting "It is amazing to me that we let humans drive cars.
" [laughter.]
"It's a bug that cars were invented before computers.
" - Boo! - What? [crowd booing.]
I can guarantee you that man will never set foot in this set.
Yes! Yes.
[cheers and applause.]
But if he's using Google maps, he'll never find this set, so - [laughter.]
- That is true.
In other news, Chevy is producing the new Z28 Camaro that they're gonna put the LSA supercharge engine in, good for 500 horsepower and maybe as high as 550.
Which is great news if you're a tree or a ditch.
[laughter.]
It's also great news for the organ-donor program.
[laughter.]
Well, you got to admit, a camaro with that much power would definitely be a fun car, 'cause that would be an affordable Z06 or even a ZR1, in comparison, for normal people.
I like the new Camaro, I really do, but I can't see out of it.
You've driven one.
It's like it's chopped.
- The visibility is really - It's a muscle car.
You know, you're not supposed to really see anything out it.
You're just supposed to go Straight line, you know? Yeah, but you're supposed to look cool driving, not like this, like [laughter.]
And finally in the news, there is a suburb of Philly that is considering getting police to fine people $25 if they leave their cars unlocked.
- Woman: What?! - Yeah.
Shouldn't the fact that your radio's, like, gone be "You know, I forgot to lock my car.
My cds are gone.
Oh, and I have a $25 fine.
" But that means to enforce that, they're just gonna send police around town to check every car to see if it's unlocked.
That seems like a great waste of time.
That means they're not writing us tickets.
- It's a great idea! - Yes.
And that's all for the news.
Coming up, skateboarding legend Tony Hawk is a big star in our small car.
[cheers and applause.]
And now it's time to put a big star in our small car.
Our guest tonight tried to buy a car that was as much fun to drive as skateboarding is to do, but he couldn't.
So instead, he bought a Honda Civic.
Ladies and gentlemen, Tony Hawk.
[cheers and applause.]
- How are you doing? - Hey, hey.
Have a seat, please.
So, Tony, you are a man that's giving hybrids a good name.
[ Laughs .]
All right.
You drive perhaps the coolest hybrid out there.
It's not a prius.
It is a Lexus on 22s.
Yeah, a 600h.
How did that happen? From the moment I ever saw my first lexus, - I was obsessed with them.
- Really? Yeah, and it came time to actually get a sedan recently, and so that was the one.
- Did you put the 22s on there? - Yeah.
[laughter.]
Now, there's a chance If some of you don't know who Tony is from his years of professional skateboarding, you might know him from one of the most successful video-game brands in the world, all of the "Tony Hawk" games.
Who has some of those? Yeah.
Thank you.
Now, if we had asked you in high school, "do you think one day people will love skateboarding so much "they'll stop doing it outdoors and do it with their hands?" No.
No.
If you had told me that there was even going to be a video-game series that featured skateboarding, I would not have believed you.
You guys may not realize this, but Tony has also done a little stunt driving in his day.
There was a beautiful movie in the '80s called "Gleaming the Cube.
" [cheers and applause.]
It was one of the first mainstream movies to ever feature skateboarding in a big way.
'Cause I think before that Were you one of the skateboarders - in "Police Academy"? - I was, yeah.
I was David Spade's stunt double.
- Oh.
- And I got fired.
- You got fired? - I was too tall.
So you went on from there to drive I believe it was an old Ford Courier with a pizza hut roof on the top of the truck.
That was some pretty amazing stunt work.
Thank you very much.
It was my first fortã© into stunt driving, for sure.
But now you've gone on to bigger and better cars.
You've gotten a couple of cars up to speed on the autobahn, right? Yeah, I was in Frankfurt with Matt Hoffman, you know, the bmx legend - "The condor," of course.
- "The condor," yes.
And he and I said, "we got a chance to drive the autobahn.
Let's rent a Ferrari," and we did.
And I was driving, and he's videoing the speedometer, and he's just telling me how fast it's going, 'cause I'm not even looking anymore.
I'm just, you know, eyes on the prize there.
And he's going, "260! 280! 300!" We got to 300k, and I said, "it won't go any faster!" And so we slowed down.
- Which is like 187 Miles an hour.
- Yeah.
And we looked up online 300k is the top speed for that car.
- Wow! - So, mission accomplished.
Nice work.
That's big stuff right there.
[applause.]
You also have driven a nascar stock car.
Yeah.
Jimmy Johnson helped me quite a bit.
He and I were teamed up in this gillette celebrity race, and he helped me immensely, just how to go faster going left.
Well, for a four-time champion, that would be a good driving coach to have.
Did you tell him that it's weird only going left? Did I tell him that? No, he'd kick my ass any direction, really.
I'm not gonna challenge him at all.
What's Tony Hawk's favorite car? My favorite car it's my Stingray because it was my dream car when I was a kid.
You know, '64 Stingray, when I first saw it as a kid, I thought it was the Batmobile.
And I always have been drawn to it and finally got one when I had the means.
But now, you've also had a lot of jeeps.
- You have an srt8, correct? - Uh-huh, yes.
But it just wasn't fast enough.
Well, I had heard that Hennessey Motors in Texas, that they'll supercharge any sort of SRT engines.
And I thought, "that's it.
Sign me up.
" - Wow! - Yeah.
And that's 600 all-wheel-drive horsepower in a jeep.
Yeah.
It's fun, yeah.
So, since you've driven all sorts of stuff, how would you say the Suzuki compared? [laughs.]
It's uh, it was fun.
It was fiery.
But, I mean, with these turns and the hairpins, like, you can't have a car going too fast.
Really? You guys want to see his lap? Audience: Yeah! Let's play it.
My imaginary stick is in my head right now.
- Here we go.
- [ Tires screeching .]
The imaginary stick.
Did that help? Yeah.
And you caught second in a car with almost no power at all.
- Is that good? - That's impressive.
Coming into turn one here.
Pretty smooth start so far.
Came in too hot on that last corner.
Here we are coming into the teardrop.
And that's an easy corner to mess up 'cause if you mess up that, the whole teardrop is off.
Right.
That felt good.
This one's tricky.
That one's tricky to hit.
All right, good start.
Now you're getting close.
Heading to the back stretch.
Ooh, drifting way out.
I cut that turn a little too tight there.
You got a little bump here, and then real hard on the brakes before you turn in.
This turn is really hard to figure out right here.
A lot of tire smoke as you're heading into the s's.
Okay, that was blowing it.
Wow.
That didn't work at all.
Bad Tony.
Coming through the s's up here to the last turn.
There's a lot of speed bearing through.
And across the line! [cheers and applause.]
So we got kid rock up there leading the board at 143.
9.
Buzz aldrin, second man on the moon, technically at the bottom.
How do you think you compared? I'd like to say I fell somewhere in between there.
[laughter.]
- Okay, well, let's see.
You did it - Allright.
In one minute Forty Three [crowd murmurs.]
- Bring it.
- Point two! - Oh, yes! - [cheers and applause.]
Look at that.
- The birdman takes it to the top! - Thank you.
All right.
Nice work.
Let's give out another han for Tony Hawk.
[cheers and applause.]
Now, coming up, we continue our quest to try and save GM.
Man, that's nice.
[cheers and applause.]
Tonight we are testing three old GM cars to see which classic design that we, the American taxpayers and GM shareholders, want to lobby the company to bring back.
So far, we've driven to the Eaton Proving Grounds, and we've tested zero to 60, e-brake performance, handling, and, of course, interior storage.
Yeah, and for our next test, we were told to line up in front of a section, of uneven concrete known as the rumble strips where we'd be given our next challenge.
Ferrara: All right, fellas.
"Most cars that are tested on the rumble strip "drive at 20 Miles per hour.
"You are going to drive at 30 Miles per hour.
"A colander of eggs has been attached to your driver's-side headliner.
"The person with the most eggs left in the colander, wins.
Really? - You want to start it off? - Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Wow.
- Your head needs to go inside the colander.
- I know.
I know.
- I'm gonna put my belt on.
- Yeah, that'd be a good move, maybe.
Okay.
All right, good luck with that.
We'll be right over here trying to stay dry.
- Okay.
- [engine turns over.]
This isn't gonna be good.
Awesome! All right, Adam, you ready? Yeah, I'm ready.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Ohh! There we go.
We're almost home! Yeah.
Wood: That seemed so violent.
- Yeah - I thought the trunk was gonna blow off.
- It doesn't look that bad.
- [ Laughing .]
Oh, yeah! How would you describe that? Uh, yolky.
My cholesterol actually went up.
Who's next? [laughs.]
Tanner's up.
All right, I'm ready.
Go! [engine revving.]
There you go.
Oh, no! Foust: The Fiero's double-wishbone suspension was communicating every bit of the rumble strip to the steering wheel, as well as the colander.
That was [spits.]
He has got some egg on him now.
[laughs.]
Oh! Thank you.
Rutledge was next.
Your head makes that colander look so small.
[Ferrara laughs.]
- You ready, Rutledge? - Time to make an omelet.
- Go! - Go! Wood: Oh, they're moving.
I can hear them moving around in there.
Ohh.
Oh! Oh! Oh! He's all over the place.
Wow, this is rough! This really does feel like I'm in Detroit.
[laughs.]
Oh, no! That was awesome.
I hope he broke all the eggs.
I don't have any on me.
This is amazing.
Ohh.
Come on! What? Dry as a bone?! Oh, you got a little shock absorber in there.
Nothing.
It's not my fault! It's the Roadmaster! - I say we check the eggs.
- Foust: Sure, let's check the eggs.
I have seven unbroken eggs.
Are those hard-boiled? No.
Well, they're not hard-boiled.
Can you hit the middle of his window? Yep.
Let's see, I think I can hit it from back here.
[laughing.]
Don't.
Oh, not in the Roadmaster! Wood: In the end, we had more eggs on our cars than left in our colanders.
The ss Roadmaster was victorious.
What's wrong with you?! Up to this point, each of our cars had put up a good fight, and there was just one challenge left to determine which car gm should bring back.
We asked the producers if we could change our sticky, egg-stained clothes, and they were happy to help us out.
Ferrara: You look good.
Does this suit make me look fat? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Really? They're supposed to be slimming.
Once 2/3 of us were nice and comfortable in our new outfits, we received the final challenge.
"This challenge is to test your car's build quality.
"To do this, your cars will be filled to the top with water, "and then you will drive around the track.
"When the water level drops below the steering wheel, you will stop.
The person that drives the furthest is the winner.
" Which would make the wet suits make sense.
How are you gonna drive underwater? Oh, well, here.
There's a snorkel and a mask.
You'll be fine.
You kind of have a little advantage here since this turd bucket only holds like 30 gallons of water, I would guess.
- So I've got to shift gears underwater.
- Yes.
You're hosed.
Your car's gonna hold a swimming pool inside it.
You know how much that's gonna weigh? I'm telling you right now, though I'm warm.
If you get cold in there, they say you're supposed to pee in it.
[chuckles.]
You know what helps me? I do a couple deep knee bends To get it right where you need it.
A couple twists here.
All right, put your belt on.
No way.
[laughing.]
I'm not putting my belt on.
- [siren wailing.]
- Ferrara: Then our water source arrived.
- It's fire-engine water? - Yeah.
Oh, that's gonna be Warm.
[horn blaring.]
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, that is a big hose.
All right.
You ready? Ferrara: Coming up, there can only be one winner in a wet-and-wild gm challenge.
Dear lord, I don't want to die in a buick.
Oh, my gosh.
all right.
You ready? [laughs.]
Look at that.
Ferrara: Should wash your egg off.
It's cold! It's cold! I can feel the car lowering.
The car that can drive the farthest before the water level drops below the steering wheel, wins.
Yeah, the wipers are gonnananap with all that egg and soda.
Your mats are floating! Foust: The Fiero was filled with an aroma of gasoline, rotten eggs, and drakkar noir.
And if that wasn't enough, my car wouldn't start under its own power.
Car died.
So I asked the guys if they would help me out.
Oh! How much does that weigh? Throw it in first! Good God.
Come on! Hey, wait a minute.
Hey.
We're trying to beat him.
You're right.
Bummer.
Oh! Ferrara: It wasn't looking good for the Fiero to make it back into production.
Now it was my turn.
And without any of those pesky modern electronics, my cutlass should do just fine.
Wood: Holy crap.
Whoa! Foust: It's already coming out.
- He's looking for a gear.
- Dude, look at the car! [laughs.]
It looks a lot better.
Wow, it looks great like that.
It's American-built quality right here.
All right, Adam.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Oh, did you hear the engine jump? [laughs.]
Yeah, baby! How is that possible? That's how we do it! [laughs.]
- Still going.
- It's still going.
Look at that! Right up on the incline.
There you go.
That's it, baby.
Wow.
It is out of sight.
Even though the cutlass was leaking badly and weighed a ton, its 350 rocket propelled the hulkster around the track.
It smells kind of bad, but it runs really good.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't pass the Fiero.
No! Look at this.
He's still going.
He's gonna lap the Fiero.
Foust: He is right on the steering wheel, though.
That is the end.
He's pulling over.
He's done.
He's done.
[water splashes.]
Whoa! Mother of pearl! That is like a river.
How fast you go? It's tough to tell.
The speedometer was under water.
I think you're up, my friend.
Zip up and dive in.
It's all you, big daddy.
Did you pee? I peed.
I'm downstream from you, my friend.
Oh, I didn't pee now.
I peed when I was in it.
- Can you breathe? - Yeah.
How about now? No! - Okay.
- [blowing.]
- You're good.
- Hold my glasses.
Can you see anything without your glasses, Rutledge? I cannot.
The firemen told me Tanner's Fiero had taken on 500 gallons.
My Cutlass? 1,200.
And they estimated the Buick would hold 2,500 gallons.
That's a staggering 20,000 pounds Plus a bowling ball.
And Rutledge's head! That is a lot of water! Look at the back tire.
Foust: Oh, my gosh.
Get back in there! That is awful! Both: Get in there! Dear lord, I don't want to die in a buick.
[both laugh.]
The backseats are [horn blaring.]
Wood: The Roadmaster's electronics were going haywire.
As the water lever continued to rise, the wagon made a cry for help.
Okay, go! Go! Go! [blaring continues.]
I can't see anything! Oh! Oh! [Ferrara laughing.]
That's 25,000 pounds driven by a blind man.
Come on, baby! We should just look for smoke.
Yeah.
My Buick was performing beautifully.
If my family truckster could make it past Adam's Cutlass, it would be going back into production.
All right, I don't want to lose, so I got to lower the steering wheel.
[blaring continues.]
Wow! He's still going! Ohh! The Buick was victorious.
I grabbed my trophy and headed for the winner's circle.
[blaring continues.]
[blaring stops.]
Ferrara: [laughs.]
Okay, there's your trophy.
Very well done.
Fellas, that is how a Buick Roadmaster gets it done.
Well, as much as I hate to admit it, you are indeed the Roadmaster.
Well, boys, there's just one last thing left to do.
I'm taking this baby back to Detroit.
So hold that.
Shotgun.
Ooh, that means you're riding bitch.
We're there.
Oh! It's gonna be a long ride to Detroit.
[Derek and the dominos' "Layla" plays.]
There's some sort of electrical noise [chuckling.]
Coming from down here.
Don't worry about that.
It's just by your feet.
These are apple c Did you eat on the way?! I got hungry.
[tires screeching.]
Yeah.
"Dear, GM, throughout the history of your company, "you have committed yourself to building great cars "for the American people.
"But we think it's time you do more than build a car for us.
"We think you should build a car with us.
"This car should have enough space to fit any kind of family "And give you the freedom to go anywhere "or do anything you want to do [horn blares.]
" And have the durability to tread through any hardship, "just like America.
[music continues.]
"Thank you.
Signed, your shareholders.
" So, good work, fellas.
[cheers and applause.]
What did you guys think of this? Do you think this would help us bring GM back? Audience: Yeah.
- Yeah? I mean, it's a pretty amazing test that we put these through.
And it still runs.
I mean, we drove it in here.
But I think the message is clear.
This is the car that if we remade it could save GM.
Would you guys like to see our version of the new Roadmaster? [cheers and applause.]
I would like to see that.
Ladies and gentlemen Here it is.
Look at this beautiful, sleek wagon.
Now, it's not your grandpa's Buick.
It's totally updated, but I think when you see it from the side, you'll see what we're talking about.
That, my friends, is a stylish wagon.
We still, of course, have the appliqué vinyl, wood-grained sticker.
Because you don't want to lose the classic nostalgia of the first one.
But there's no wire wheels on this one.
It's got big 20s on it.
The original Buick portals are coming back.
Obviously, vista roof is gonna run the entire length of the car rather than just on the back.
So it's all glass.
So when it's really hot, the children will burst into flames.
Wood: Well, also, you can't see it on here, but there is a hole for a snorkel, which brings me to the interior.
It is entirely waterproof.
[laughter.]
The seat covers are also egg-resistant, should some jerk throw eggs in your car.
Now, it will continue to have the rear-facing seats.
It will hold eight people, and you'll notice what's that? Hey, wait a second.
- That's a six-speed.
- Oh, yes.
I mean, the best of all things GM put into one car.
This car could save GM, and people would buy.
I agree.
What do you guys think? [cheers and applause.]
I'd drive it.
I would drive that every day.
I'm sure you would.
You'd be the coolest grandfather ever.
- [laughs.]
- Yes, you would.
Well, that's all we've got this week.
Thanks for watching.
Goodbye.
[cheers and applause.]

Previous EpisodeNext Episode