Top Gear (US) s02e10 Episode Script
Muscle Cars
Now on Top Gear, They are american icons but which is the best modern muscle car? Wow! That's fast! We'll find out As we flex them in every possible way.
What?! No! The 1960s was the decade of the muscle car.
It was all about big engines, Drag racing, freedom, and rebellion.
But over the past few years, Muscle cars have made a comeback.
In 2008, Dodge brought back the Challenger.
The Camaro ss arrived in 2009.
And then there's the Mustang, Which has been bulking up since 2005.
But are these cars worthy of the "muscle car" name? To find out, we each chose one and headed to L.
A.
This is the 2012 Dodge Challenger SRT8.
It looks mean.
It sounds mean.
It's got more horsepower per dollar Than any other car on the market.
This car was born out of the muscle-car era of the '60s, And the muscle-car formula's pretty simple.
It's all about a big engine In a two-door car with four seats.
This car is the best retro muscle car on the market.
Wow.
Huh? 2012 Mustang GT.
Not only the best modern-day muscle car The best muscle car ever.
You know, you can't just call it a muscle car By sticking a "5.
0" emblem on the side.
No.
You know why I call it a muscle car? Zero to 60 4.
3 seconds.
412 horsepower.
Perfect.
- "Perfect"? - Yes.
That's how you would describe the history of the Mustang? - "Perfect"? - Okay.
All right.
Fine.
There were some dark areas.
Some? Mustang II, terrible.
I give you that.
The four-cylinder Mustang? Mm, that was bad, too.
The six-cylinder Mustang, Which every dude in Florida thought was a GT? Why do you always have to focus on the negative? - Well, we got a Dodge Challenger - Yep.
And we got a Ford Mustang.
- Mm-hmm.
They do not make the GTO anymore Which really started the whole thing.
Which leaves Tanner with one option.
Look.
He's got the Barbie Chevy.
Wow.
You're even dressing like a girl.
Oh, come on, now.
It's just what Rutledge usually wears.
That's a really nice shirt.
I give you the 2012 Camaro SS auto.
You know what? It's an LS motor.
It's used in everything from airplanes to boats.
- It's got a modern suspension, and it's the right size.
- Mm.
Would you ever buy a Chevy Camaro? A new one? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
That's not necessarily the question.
I would buy this.
The question is, "what is the best retro muscle car?" How many horsepower you have? - 400? - Yeah.
Does your husband have one? Our first challenge was 20 miles away at the L.
A.
River, so we hit the road.
You know what I like about muscle cars? Rebellion.
That's what it's about.
They were loud.
They were brash.
Big engine, light car.
Go fast, straight line.
This Mustang embodies The rebellious nature of a muscle car.
And the Mustang never went out of production, Unlike the Camaro or the Challenger.
I love driving this car.
I really do.
The reason this is the best muscle car here Is because it does everything.
It's got looks.
It's got performance.
It's got the power.
That's what a muscle car is about.
It's about making other people look over And go, "wow! That's a cool car.
" Look at that.
The harder you hit the gas, the more you smile in this car.
That's a good feeling.
I mean, what's that Camaro say about Tanner? "I'm very boring.
" that's what it says.
I'm not saying that I am a huge Camaro fan as a whole.
I'm just saying that it's a better choice Than the other two for the muscle-car challenge.
The SRT8 that car is giant.
When you see that it hits Rutledge's head, Like, proportionately, you know something's wrong.
And the Mustang's still dealing with the same old-school issues That it had back in the '60s Live rear axle, high center of gravity, heavy front end.
The Camaro has stayed true to its original form.
It's about the right size for a muscle car.
Oh, look who's here.
The SS.
Super sassy.
Sure, the paint job on this Camaro's a little bit weak And it's an automatic and the interior is beige.
And it's an automatic.
Okay.
I'm screwed.
I bet I've seen the movie "Grease" 100 times, and I have wanted to drive in the L.
A.
River since I was a kid.
Yeah! This is awesome! Fellas, do you see what I see? There is a homeless dude washing his body in the river.
Oh, this is weird.
Not that, Rut.
Those.
Oh, look at that.
No freaking way.
Look at that.
Wow! Wow.
1970 Challenger.
Oh.
Look at it.
1970 Boss 302.
There is a god, and he drives a Ford.
'69 Camaro SS.
This is the reason I picked the Camaro, because that is badass right there.
Excuse me.
- That is badass.
- It is.
- So is that, by the way.
- Wow! Let's drive these things.
Come on.
Read the paper.
Let's go drive.
Okay.
Gentlemen, pay attention.
"In the 1960s, the highest form of youthful rebellion was drag racing.
" Oh, yeah.
Yes.
We're gonna get to drag race these things! "To see which of your cars "is most worthy of the 'muscle car' label, you will drag race on this dry riverbed.
" Partially dry.
"You will begin in the original versions of your car, "then switch to the modern versions at the halfway point.
The first car to finish wins.
" Okay, so, to there and back.
Right.
Done.
Oh, my gosh.
Gentlemen, you ready? All right, here we go.
In 5, 4 3, 2, 1 Go! Come on, baby Oh, getting sideways! I'm even with the Challenger! Dig! Oh, there it goes! He's gone! The Challenger is so fast! Rutledge is gone! Oh, this thing is a rocket ship! Oh, this thing doesn't brake very well.
But he's braking early! That big pansy! Wow! That is sketchy.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Ohhh! Oh, I almost hit him! Holy I almost hit him! Seat belt on.
ohh! Seat belt on.
Start the car.
Oh, I'm the water! That's reverse.
Oh, I'm still in second.
Crap.
Come on! Oh, no.
Here comes Rutledge.
Go! Go! Oh, you're kidding me! Yes! Beat by an automatic Camaro! No! That was terrible.
I thought I had absolutely no chance at that.
Ugh.
I am ashamed right now.
- I'm ashamed of myself.
- Yeah.
I'm ashamed of how much power that Challenger had.
Yep.
Oh, my god.
We were dead even, and you just horsepowered by me.
- Yeah.
You know what happened? - I horsepowered by you, And then I realized I had to stop.
- You backed out of it.
- And I hit the brakes, and there was almost nothing there, which is why I slowed way down.
Long story short, the two faster cars just got smoked by the Camaro.
That's a lucky win I might take, but I'm gonna take it.
- Let's get out of here.
- I'm gonna take it.
Oh, my god.
Do you smell that aroma? Smells like victory! - That's what victory smells like? - Yeah.
Tire smoke and old spice? Coming up, the competition over which is the best Modern muscle car takes a shocking turn.
I'm gonna poop.
Welcome back to "Top Gear," where we're trying to find the best modern muscle car.
So far, I got to say, it's a little bit of awesome.
Camaro took first place in the drag race, Even being an automatic, which means you guys suck.
I'm just saying.
I will tell you this I like it a lot in black, But the paint job you had, my friend, was fabulous! It was it was fantastic.
Whatever.
I am one up, you guys are at scratch, and there's more where that came from.
Our next challenge was 60 miles away At a drive-in movie theater in Riverside, California.
In the 1960s muscle-car heyday, there were 5,000 drive-ins across the country.
Our challenge was to do a slalom circuit in the parking lot, a 360-degree turn around a flag, and then race back to the finish line.
But there was a catch.
"To give you a flavor of the twitchy handling "of the original muscle cars, you will race "while connected to an electronic muscle stimulator.
Fastest time wins.
" Where would you put it? I'd put it on him.
- Pecs.
- Pecs? Done.
You go first.
- Pecs, and I go first? - Yeah.
Mount 'em up.
Drive-ins have humps throughout the parking lot To raise each car up, Giving it the best view of the screen.
This terrain would definitely be a handling challenge.
Okay.
I got the electrodes.
- Okay.
You gonna hook that up? - Yeah.
To my pecs.
Oh, gosh.
You want me to hold that for you? Hell, no.
No, I'll just hold on to it.
You're not holding on to anything that's attached to me.
What are you gonna set it at? Controls go to 8.
8 will kill you.
So we'll go to 7.
Ohh! That was 3, and that's scary.
Ow.
Ow.
Let's see 5.
That's 4.
I don't want to do this anymore.
Okay, get in the car.
You're ready.
Leg up.
Leg up.
Leg up.
This seems incredibly safe.
Oh, it's like being stung by bees.
Officially one of the worst ideas ever.
This is twisted right now.
All right.
Give me a countdown, fellas! Ow! Aah! We just got to get the yeah, let's just make sure - Let's look like we're talking about the stopwatch - Come on! But just make him sit there longer.
Okay.
Ohh! Oh, but look at the stopwatch.
- Yeah, that one.
- You ready? Ow! Ow! Yeah.
Ow.
Ah, is that bright? Did I get you in the eye? Ow! Hey, it's pretty bright.
All right, fellas! Let's go! Okay, you ready? Here we go.
Yeah.
You ready? 3, 2 Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
Ow, ow, ow.
Ow! Ow! First turn.
Ohh! - Oh, That hurts.
- Look at his face.
Whoa.
Oh.
He is just He is going for it.
Tweet, tweet, tweet.
Tweet.
Oh! - Nice little hop there.
- Wow.
I'm impressed.
Kind of keeping his composure a little bit, considering.
Ow! Oh, that looks bad.
I spoke way too soon.
Wow.
All right.
360 around the blue flag.
aah! Now clutch kick around.
Ow.
Ow.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Is he gonna crash into the flag? No.
That's close enough to the flag.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Okay, um, you know what? Let's stand back here.
Let's just scoot back a little bit.
Ow.
Aah.
Ow.
Ow.
Whoa! 48 seconds.
Wow! Oh, that hurts.
How'd I do? Here's the thing that's freaky That thing seems to make you a better driver.
So, it was decided Adam should always wear an electronic muscle stimulator while driving.
48 seconds was now the time to beat.
Rutledge was up next and decided to connect it to his stomach.
Oh, gosh! Oh, that is really that is really working! I'm gonna poop.
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna poop my pants.
That sucks.
This is a bad idea.
Get in there.
Ow! That is so painful.
I am definitely gonna throw up.
Ah.
Mm.
I'm ready.
Let's go.
Holy hell.
Ow! 3, 2, 1, go! Ow! There he goes.
Oh, gosh, that hurt my stomach.
Holy crap.
Oh, gosh.
He's getting out of control.
He's got elbows and asses everywhere.
ow! Oh.
Man, the Georgia is coming out of Rutledge.
Oh, god, that hurts! It's so hard to concentrate.
And around the flag.
There you go.
Completely missed the flag altogether.
That's close enough.
ohh! That's so hard to do! Here he comes.
This is the scary part.
Almost there! Stop! I'm gonna throw up! Son of a Ow.
Oh.
Holy [bleep.]
.
Turn that off.
Turn that off.
Turn that off.
How'd he do? 50.
75.
Rut wasn't able to beat my time.
Race boy was up next, and since he is a professional driver, we had to keep the competition even.
So I found a special place for his electrodes.
You look so sad, like a little, lost puppy.
Oh, what is happening? What is happ this go! Here we go.
3, 2, 1, go! Aah! Ow! Ow! Look at that.
Oh, it hurts! Oh, gosh! Look at that.
No! Oh, this is so awesome.
It's like you hope something like this Will happen to your friend, and then when it finally does, It feels so much better.
Oh! Around the flag.
Oh, my teeth! Nice.
Nice, full circle.
That's quality right there.
Oh Finish line! Finish line! Finish line! - Oh! - Oh! Oh! Aah! Get this damn thing off of me! That one looked faster.
Yep.
It was slower.
It was? So, Adam took the challenge.
Why are you so angry? You look miserable.
I can smell my teeth right now.
Coming up, our muscle-car challenge continues Let's go get him.
And Rutledge and I race across the old west against horses.
We're in the middle of trying to find out which is the best modern muscle car, but in the last challenge I got to be honest it seemed like more sadistic torture.
I mean, how does sticking electrotherapy pads and shocking electricity through your brain test muscle cars? The important thing about that whole challenge was I won.
Yeah, and that was crazy.
Somehow, being electrocuted makes you a better driver.
Oh, it makes you a better everything.
I'm wearing them right now.
All right, so, the Mustang won the handling challenge, but to show Adam what Mustangs could really do, Tanner and I took two new souped-up versions that would put your little girly one to shame, and we put them to the test out in the old west.
This is Dead Horse Point in Utah.
Its desolate canyons and brutal terrain make it almost impassable, But there is one thing that still rules this frontier The horse.
Back in the mid 1800s, the Pony Express rode across these wild expanses of land.
But today horses have gotten a lot faster.
But I wanted to know just how much faster.
So to find out, we were gonna take on two horses in an epic race from Dead Horse Point Down to the mighty Colorado river.
All we needed now was to get ourselves some serious ponies.
It's sexy.
It's fast.
The 2012 Roush Stage 3 Mustang.
540 horsepower supercharged 5-liter v-8.
60 grand.
I'm not normally a Mustang guy, but for this race, There was only one choice.
The 2012 Ford Mustang Boss 302.
It's basically a rolling tribute to the original '69 Boss, The first muscle car of the Mustang lineup.
It's got a 5-liter V-8 pumping out 444 horsepower, which hopefully is enough power to beat one horse.
We had the cars.
We had the horses.
Now it was time to race.
So, the challenge today is, can we, with our new-school technology, Beat their old-school thought? Yeah, but over this kind of nasty terrain, they can just go straight there.
The roads go all the way around these huge cliffs.
The horses could cut straight across country to the finish line seven miles away, but they would be going across some of the roughest terrain in America.
Our cars would be traveling on paved roads the entire way But have to travel a full 46 miles to the finish.
In keeping the spirit of the Pony Express, where riders would have to hand off mail-filled satchels to each other mid-gallop, We'd be using leather saddlebags for our relay race.
I would begin the race in the Boss And then make the hand-off to Rutledge in the Roush at the halfway point 23 miles down the road.
The second rider was also staged halfway to the finish line, waiting for the hand-off from Buzz and Johnny Cash, 3 1/2 miles away.
The starting line was on a perfectly straight stretch of road, But tragically, the speed limit was 25.
3, 2, 1, go! and that's 25.
That's all I can do.
What?! No! No! This sucks.
And off he goes.
While I was stuck at 25, Buzz and Johnny Cash galloped off, heading straight across the grasslands to the edge of the Mesa three miles away.
25 miles an hour on such an epic road.
Buzz and Johnny Cash had already covered a mile and were just 2 1/2 miles from the hand-off point, but the Boss was about to be unleashed because just ahead was a 75-mile-an-hour zone.
All right, here comes my line.
Oh, yes! Sounds like the engine is right basically between my feet.
It's really a nice sound.
The shifting is super positive.
It really is fast, But what you notice about this car is how composed it is.
There's no drama, even the way the engine picks up its speed.
I'd managed to make up time as I took advantage of everything modern technology had to offer, and we were back in the game.
Buzz and Johnny Cash were re-creating the past at 10 miles an hour.
For the first time in this race, the boss had the advantage.
Then the road began snaking down to the valley below.
I know Mustangs are great in a straight line, but in the corners, I had my doubts.
I don't know.
That felt pretty composed.
That felt pretty balanced.
Got to be honest with you.
This is all feeling quite good.
That was so fun.
Come on, 3G.
Come on.
Meanwhile, Buzz and Johnny Cash had reached the cliffs Just a few hundred yards away from the head of the canyon, where the second rider waited for the hand-off.
Their hand-off was perfect.
And if Rutledge and I were gonna have a chance, Ours would have to be the same.
Hey, Rutledge, you ready? Rutledge, you got a copy? Rutledge.
Yeah, where are you? - There you are! There you are! Get in your car! - What? - Get in your car! - What are you doing?! Go, go, go, go! Come on! I'm coming up here! Rutledge, I'm gonna do a 180, And then I just want you to come up next to me copy that? What? What are you talking about? What are you doing!? You're going the wrong way! Come on! Come on! Catch it! Okay.
I can't go over the line.
Take it! Just throw it! Just throw it to me! Throw it! I got it! What?! That's a terrible throw.
God, Rutledge.
I'm getting in there! Our hand-off couldn't have gone worse.
Come on! It was clumsy, it was slow, And worst of all, I was stuck riding shotgun.
What took so long? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
30 zone.
Whoa! 30 zone.
- What? - I'm gonna go the speed limit.
I don't want to get a ticket in this thing.
You're going 22.
It stands out.
It says 30.
It's a 30-mile-per-hour zone.
That means speed limit.
You go under that.
Oh, you're almost going 47.
Be careful.
You might hit the limit.
That's the highest you can go.
Rutledge's driving was making me lose hope.
But thankfully, our four-legged competition was reduced to a slow walk As it recovered from the gallop.
This was our chance to get back in the lead.
Yeah! Like it, right? Good.
Ease off.
Feet on the power again.
We are gonna brake before the turn, just so you know.
Full throttle.
And release.
Ease off.
Wait for it.
Feeding on a little more gas.
Stay in your lane.
Feeding on.
Feeding on.
Yeah.
Full throttle.
I mean, I've driven a car before, you know.
This was gonna be a close one.
Really? Short-shifting at a time like this? - Awesome.
Hammer down.
Hammer down.
Ricky and Slinger were in full gallop with just 100 yards to go.
You got to go fast.
Go, go, go.
There he is! There he is! There he is! - Losing was not an option.
- Go, go, go, go! You got it.
No! Hammer down! 100 years of research, racing, design, and engineering would all be for nothing if we couldn't beat just one horse.
Watch out for the rocks.
We're gonna die.
Go, go, go, go! Come on, hammer down, Rut! Unbelievable.
Oh, come on.
Do you know what this means, Rutledge? I'm pretty sure this means we lost.
- Nice work.
- Good work.
I just can't believe we got beat by a horse.
Yeah.
It seems wrong.
I mean, we had hundreds of horsepower, and they had two.
Yeah.
Luckily, we have somebody to push every car we drive to the limit.
His name is the Stig.
So, which one of these is gonna be fastest around our track? Dead even off the line, although the Roush probably has a little advantage in acceleration.
Coming into the first corner, though, the Boss looking very composed, very balanced With that boss up on the top part of the screen.
Dead even as they come through the chicane.
Stig and Stig together on the same screen.
Don't know what to say about that.
Little bit of a drift from the Roush as they come into the teardrop.
This will be the Boss' advantage, putting that power down very successfully.
But the back straightaway has to be given up to the Roush with its higher horsepower.
Both cars just screaming down the back straightaway.
135 miles an hour.
By the tires.
Looks like the Boss has a slight edge.
In to the braking zone we go.
Cameraman's corner.
Is the Stig driving them differently? No.
Exactly the same in both cars.
The only difference here is one car to the next.
The boss makes it through the last corner.
It's too close to call! And across the line.
I've got to say Wow! Right? Those were some impressive, impressive-looking laps.
Before we get into the times, though, I mean, how much more is this car? Sticker price.
Uh, what, $15,000 and change? $16,000? I mean, it's got to be, yeah.
I mean, that's a lot more car.
100 more horsepower, though.
It does have 100 more horsepower.
You guys want to see the times? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Well, the Roush, will all of that money and fancy horsepower, came in with a 1:28.
9, which puts it right above the Evo.
Wow! And the measly Boss basically stock.
Boss 302, though.
I mean, it is a mean car.
You're right.
Smaller block.
Came in with a 1:28.
2.
The Boss takes it! Yeah! No way.
Yeah.
Ties it with the V12 Vantage.
Incredible.
Wow! It just goes to show it's not all about horsepower.
If you find the right balance, you get the right brake feel and steering feel, kind of combine it all into a performance package.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly all of those things Are exactly why you should buy a Dodge Challenger.
Coming up, our muscle-car challenge continues Oh, you are kidding.
And we have a run-in with the top dog of the species Boys, we got company! Stock cars.
We've set up to find what the best modern muscle car was Dodge, Ford, or Chevy? So far, Tanner's bitchin' Camaro had won the drag race Yeah! And with the help of a performance enhancer Ow! Ow! Adam's Mustang had taken the handling test.
Ow! My Challenger had been shut out.
I was determined to change that at a place I know well The Auto Club Speedway in Fontana, Nascar's home in Southern California.
This was the perfect place for me to prove that my Challenger was the best modern muscle car.
Oh, man.
I love this.
I can't believe we got this whole track to ourselves, fellas.
Unbelievable.
Hey, what's that noise? Probably just some Camaro Thunder.
That ain't Camaro Thunder.
Yeah, I hear something.
Boys, we got company! Holy Oh, you are kidding me.
We just got passed by real race cars.
Okay, I'm going home.
That's I'm good.
And I need a change of pants.
All right, let's find out what we're doing here.
I tell you what this day keeps getting better and better.
Amen to that.
All right.
"The Stig has lapped your cars on this oval "and achieved a top speed for each.
"to see which of your cars "best lives up to the muscle-car legacy "of making high speed accessible to the masses, "you'll each attempt to get as close to that speed as possible.
Closest top speed wins.
" If we were even going to get close to those speeds, we would have to make a few modifications to make our cars more aerodynamic.
Yeah.
You didn't do anything.
Really? You just made this car yours.
What did you do? You made your own splitter.
I did.
And I believe that's garden-edging plastic, - Is it not? - Absolutely not.
It is high-tech carbon fiber.
No! I've seen that before.
I used that on a Honda once.
- Yeah, it's gardening divider.
- Yeah.
Oh, you are kidding.
Free beer? Free beer.
How's that for Nascar? I'm at a total loss.
You're up first.
Gentlemen, pay attention.
Really? That's how it just went down? What did the stig do in this? So you need to go 153 miles an hour.
Yeah.
You just get one shot at this, you know.
I know.
Once you leave this line, that's it.
It is on.
So, once you leave pit row, you are on the point of no return.
Yeah.
It's like a qualifying lap in Nascar.
It's like a qualifying lap.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thumbs up.
Cue the burnout.
Patrick, you ever been on a Nascar track before? Uh, no.
Yeah, it's a bit intense.
It's time now for "Big Star, Small Car," and our celebrity today is one of my favorites.
It is Patrick Warburton.
Thank you.
So, how you feeling? Are you ready to get out there on the track? I'm not a great driver.
I'm fearless and dumb behind the wheel.
Let's see what happens.
I think that's a good combo.
Good luck.
We'll see you in the hangar when we're done.
Good luck.
All right.
Let's do this.
At the moment, Arlene Tur has the fastest time on our board With a 1:42.
4.
Let's see what Patrick can do.
That's not good.
All right, looks like he's carrying a lot of speed, going wide on the first turn.
Now he's coming in to the chicane.
Look at that.
He downshifted.
We don't see that there very much.
That was pretty.
Little squeal as he's turning down in towards the teardrop.
That was not very pretty.
Nice transition.
Pretty smooth.
Coming up towards the backstretch.
Ooh, and look how quick he gets over towards the grass.
At the halfway point, Patrick is just 1/2 second off of our fastest time.
Oh, he is hauling the mail.
Oh, stabs a brake, corrects it.
Gets it to turn back in there.
Smooth as silk.
He's really pushing that thing around.
Abhorrent driving.
A lot of speed there through the S's.
Coming up to the last turn.
Nice and smooth.
And across the line.
Whoo! Patrick, come on up.
Hey, buddy.
How you doing? Grab a seat, please.
Yeah.
Let me just say I am a huge, huge fan of yours.
You're the voice of joe on "Family guy," Puddy on "Seinfeld," "Rules of engagement.
" You were the tick.
I mean, you've done it all.
Man, I love you, so Aww.
Just had to get that out.
This is gonna surprise you.
One of us on the stage has owned a Chevy truck jacked up on 44-inch tires, and it is not me.
I want to know, how did you end up in this midlife-crisis car? All right.
This is what happened.
I'm at the Pomona swap meet.
There's this lone car that looked just like that, and it's sitting there.
It had 1,500 miles on it, And, you know, it was just a $30,000 price tag, So I knew something was up.
Salvage title car.
It had been wrecked, you know, like, out of the box.
Somebody wrecked it.
And I just thought for fun, you know, I'd pick it up.
I had it checked out.
It was straight.
You know, got an alignment on it.
I was told that, "the welds aren't too pretty, but it ain't gonna break.
" So, then So, I buy it, and I said, "all right, cool.
All right.
" And at the very first light you know, I'm 6'3".
My head sticks up about 3 inches above the windshield.
I couldn't have felt more conspicuous.
And I just got in this thing.
I'm like And then I just start sinking in the seat.
I'm like, "oh, my god.
I'm that guy.
" You're that guy.
But, now, you went from that car to what I think is a real car A '69 charger R/T with a 440.
I mean, that's a beautiful car.
It's an interesting shot there.
It looks like something for Fore magazine.
Yeah.
Seems like you love golf.
I'm about as good at golf as I am at driving, so What would you name a car like that? Oh, that's Angelina.
- Angelina.
- Angelina, yes.
Any reason? Any particular reason? Uh, you know Dark, sexy, mean, sultry, Like miss Angelina Jolie, see? And, then, the motor home is named The motor home is named Pammy, after Pam Anderson.
Just big, bodacious, so And also, too, it also just kind of irritates the wife, so it's fun to do.
I was gonna say, have you ever thought about naming something after her? Because that seems like a better path than I'd get less hell for it, but it's not as fun.
It seems like it would be awkward at times.
Like, "I'll be underneath Angelina if you need me.
" "I'm sorry.
I can't hear you.
I'm in Angelina.
" Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I want to hear, how did you feel like your lap went? I mean, did you feel like you learned a lot When you were out there? The one thing that I can really recall is that you're cognizant of everything.
He teaches it.
You know what you got to do.
But when you introduce the adrenaline aspect and you really want to do well, then all of a sudden, everything goes out the door.
But I don't know.
All right, so, let's take a look at the leader board.
There's a lot of good times up there.
Arlene Tur's still at the top.
Kid rock.
That was a wet lap.
That was impressive.
Where do you think would be a good spot in your mind? I'm going to guess that I am between I hope that I'm between Ed and Rick, 'cause there's a good gap there.
You think here.
Ed and Rick.
Yes.
Between Ed and Rick.
So, that is considered a good time to you.
No.
No.
But it's not the worst.
Patrick, you did it In 1:41.
8! No way! Really? Wow! Congratulations! Really? Yeah! Patrick Warburton the top of the leader board! I had no idea.
Right there.
Coming up This is it.
We find out just how fast our modern muscle cars can go.
Don't die.
Don't die.
Don't die.
There's a lot of debate As to which was the first muscle car.
But one thing everyone can agree on is how you make a muscle car.
Take a small car And stuff in the biggest engine you can find.
We've been trying to settle an argument which is the best modern muscle car? Tanner's girly automatic Camaro had somehow won the drag race.
Yeah! And my Mustang won the handling test.
Ow! Rut's Challenger had won nothing.
So it all came down to the final challenge At the Auto Club Speedway in Fontana.
The stig had lapped our cars and reached the top speed.
Our task now was to match it.
I was up first and had to get to 153 miles an hour.
I'm just listening for the crash.
Uh-oh.
Scary turn.
Little too fast.
Little too fast.
Turn 3.
He's going fast, actually.
Oh.
Please don't die.
Don't die.
Don't die.
Don't die.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Oh, wow.
Down the straightaway.
130, 135 140, 141! Can't look down anymore.
Coming in to the turn.
That is way faster than I thought he would go.
Ooh.
Oh, these turns are scary! That's good.
That's good there.
Damn, is that fun! I understand this whole Nascar thing now.
How'd you do? How fast? The last time I looked down was 141.
I'm impressed, man.
That's hauling it.
Okay, so, that's 12 miles an hour slower than the stig.
And it would've been probably only 138 without the stickers.
Good point.
Who's next? Done.
You're up.
Splitter, do your thing.
Splitter.
Yeah.
Looks like a shark with the splitter, right? Looks like a shark with an overbite.
The stig had gone 151 miles an hour in my car, which was fast, but I was confident that my state-of-the-art aerodynamic garden edging would make it even faster.
All right, stig.
You and me, mano y mano! This is it.
Oh! The lip fell off! What the hell was that? I think I lost my splitter.
Let's go back for that thing.
That counts.
That's his lap.
What did he say to me? "Once you leave pit row" Oh, you're gonna have to call him on that.
Watch me.
- Just a quick fix.
- No, no.
There's no quick fix.
No quick fix? I just need a little duct tape.
There's no duct tape.
That's your run.
I'm gonna throw it back on here.
No.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
You left pit row.
You said one shot.
Once you left here, that was it.
"once you leave pit row.
" what? yes.
How fast did you go? - 74! - 74! And what was stig's top speed? - 151.
- 151.
I'm not good at math, but I will tell you that, uh, you lost.
- Love you guys.
- Yep.
Tanner was out, and I was up next.
Oh, man, I love it When you feel it climb up on the banking like that.
If I was gonna beat Adam and get my Challenger back in the game, I was going to need to go at least 152 miles per hour.
All right.
Get up by the wall.
Come on, Challenger! 470 horsepower! We can do it! Wow.
Rutledge is pushing it.
Man, he's on it, huh? In Nascar, they're hitting 205 going into this turn.
I'm doing 140, and it is scary as hell.
He is ripping down the back straightaway into turn 3.
Holy crap! Oh, my gosh.
I'm sweating.
Oh, man.
Here we go.
140 145 150 152! I made it! I made it! I made it! I made it! Holy Wow! That's fast! All right.
So, let's figure out where we're at.
- You won the drag race.
- Yep.
I won the handling challenge.
You went fastest in a circle.
- Very fast, thank you.
- Three-way tie.
It's not a three-way tie.
We all won one event.
I would like to say that the Challenger went the fastest on a Nascar track.
They race that car in Nascar, it wins there.
Therefore, I'm the winner.
Oh, because the muscle cars had everything to do with Nascar.
Well, not exactly.
I mean, what are muscle cars about? Quarter-mile.
That is right.
And that's what the Camaro won, And that's why the Camaro takes the challenge.
I disagree.
No.
Absolutely.
It's a three-way tie.
It's easy math.
You won one, I won one, you won one, and I am the last one to speak, so that is that.
Goodbye.
Thank you very much.
What?! No! The 1960s was the decade of the muscle car.
It was all about big engines, Drag racing, freedom, and rebellion.
But over the past few years, Muscle cars have made a comeback.
In 2008, Dodge brought back the Challenger.
The Camaro ss arrived in 2009.
And then there's the Mustang, Which has been bulking up since 2005.
But are these cars worthy of the "muscle car" name? To find out, we each chose one and headed to L.
A.
This is the 2012 Dodge Challenger SRT8.
It looks mean.
It sounds mean.
It's got more horsepower per dollar Than any other car on the market.
This car was born out of the muscle-car era of the '60s, And the muscle-car formula's pretty simple.
It's all about a big engine In a two-door car with four seats.
This car is the best retro muscle car on the market.
Wow.
Huh? 2012 Mustang GT.
Not only the best modern-day muscle car The best muscle car ever.
You know, you can't just call it a muscle car By sticking a "5.
0" emblem on the side.
No.
You know why I call it a muscle car? Zero to 60 4.
3 seconds.
412 horsepower.
Perfect.
- "Perfect"? - Yes.
That's how you would describe the history of the Mustang? - "Perfect"? - Okay.
All right.
Fine.
There were some dark areas.
Some? Mustang II, terrible.
I give you that.
The four-cylinder Mustang? Mm, that was bad, too.
The six-cylinder Mustang, Which every dude in Florida thought was a GT? Why do you always have to focus on the negative? - Well, we got a Dodge Challenger - Yep.
And we got a Ford Mustang.
- Mm-hmm.
They do not make the GTO anymore Which really started the whole thing.
Which leaves Tanner with one option.
Look.
He's got the Barbie Chevy.
Wow.
You're even dressing like a girl.
Oh, come on, now.
It's just what Rutledge usually wears.
That's a really nice shirt.
I give you the 2012 Camaro SS auto.
You know what? It's an LS motor.
It's used in everything from airplanes to boats.
- It's got a modern suspension, and it's the right size.
- Mm.
Would you ever buy a Chevy Camaro? A new one? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
That's not necessarily the question.
I would buy this.
The question is, "what is the best retro muscle car?" How many horsepower you have? - 400? - Yeah.
Does your husband have one? Our first challenge was 20 miles away at the L.
A.
River, so we hit the road.
You know what I like about muscle cars? Rebellion.
That's what it's about.
They were loud.
They were brash.
Big engine, light car.
Go fast, straight line.
This Mustang embodies The rebellious nature of a muscle car.
And the Mustang never went out of production, Unlike the Camaro or the Challenger.
I love driving this car.
I really do.
The reason this is the best muscle car here Is because it does everything.
It's got looks.
It's got performance.
It's got the power.
That's what a muscle car is about.
It's about making other people look over And go, "wow! That's a cool car.
" Look at that.
The harder you hit the gas, the more you smile in this car.
That's a good feeling.
I mean, what's that Camaro say about Tanner? "I'm very boring.
" that's what it says.
I'm not saying that I am a huge Camaro fan as a whole.
I'm just saying that it's a better choice Than the other two for the muscle-car challenge.
The SRT8 that car is giant.
When you see that it hits Rutledge's head, Like, proportionately, you know something's wrong.
And the Mustang's still dealing with the same old-school issues That it had back in the '60s Live rear axle, high center of gravity, heavy front end.
The Camaro has stayed true to its original form.
It's about the right size for a muscle car.
Oh, look who's here.
The SS.
Super sassy.
Sure, the paint job on this Camaro's a little bit weak And it's an automatic and the interior is beige.
And it's an automatic.
Okay.
I'm screwed.
I bet I've seen the movie "Grease" 100 times, and I have wanted to drive in the L.
A.
River since I was a kid.
Yeah! This is awesome! Fellas, do you see what I see? There is a homeless dude washing his body in the river.
Oh, this is weird.
Not that, Rut.
Those.
Oh, look at that.
No freaking way.
Look at that.
Wow! Wow.
1970 Challenger.
Oh.
Look at it.
1970 Boss 302.
There is a god, and he drives a Ford.
'69 Camaro SS.
This is the reason I picked the Camaro, because that is badass right there.
Excuse me.
- That is badass.
- It is.
- So is that, by the way.
- Wow! Let's drive these things.
Come on.
Read the paper.
Let's go drive.
Okay.
Gentlemen, pay attention.
"In the 1960s, the highest form of youthful rebellion was drag racing.
" Oh, yeah.
Yes.
We're gonna get to drag race these things! "To see which of your cars "is most worthy of the 'muscle car' label, you will drag race on this dry riverbed.
" Partially dry.
"You will begin in the original versions of your car, "then switch to the modern versions at the halfway point.
The first car to finish wins.
" Okay, so, to there and back.
Right.
Done.
Oh, my gosh.
Gentlemen, you ready? All right, here we go.
In 5, 4 3, 2, 1 Go! Come on, baby Oh, getting sideways! I'm even with the Challenger! Dig! Oh, there it goes! He's gone! The Challenger is so fast! Rutledge is gone! Oh, this thing is a rocket ship! Oh, this thing doesn't brake very well.
But he's braking early! That big pansy! Wow! That is sketchy.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Ohhh! Oh, I almost hit him! Holy I almost hit him! Seat belt on.
ohh! Seat belt on.
Start the car.
Oh, I'm the water! That's reverse.
Oh, I'm still in second.
Crap.
Come on! Oh, no.
Here comes Rutledge.
Go! Go! Oh, you're kidding me! Yes! Beat by an automatic Camaro! No! That was terrible.
I thought I had absolutely no chance at that.
Ugh.
I am ashamed right now.
- I'm ashamed of myself.
- Yeah.
I'm ashamed of how much power that Challenger had.
Yep.
Oh, my god.
We were dead even, and you just horsepowered by me.
- Yeah.
You know what happened? - I horsepowered by you, And then I realized I had to stop.
- You backed out of it.
- And I hit the brakes, and there was almost nothing there, which is why I slowed way down.
Long story short, the two faster cars just got smoked by the Camaro.
That's a lucky win I might take, but I'm gonna take it.
- Let's get out of here.
- I'm gonna take it.
Oh, my god.
Do you smell that aroma? Smells like victory! - That's what victory smells like? - Yeah.
Tire smoke and old spice? Coming up, the competition over which is the best Modern muscle car takes a shocking turn.
I'm gonna poop.
Welcome back to "Top Gear," where we're trying to find the best modern muscle car.
So far, I got to say, it's a little bit of awesome.
Camaro took first place in the drag race, Even being an automatic, which means you guys suck.
I'm just saying.
I will tell you this I like it a lot in black, But the paint job you had, my friend, was fabulous! It was it was fantastic.
Whatever.
I am one up, you guys are at scratch, and there's more where that came from.
Our next challenge was 60 miles away At a drive-in movie theater in Riverside, California.
In the 1960s muscle-car heyday, there were 5,000 drive-ins across the country.
Our challenge was to do a slalom circuit in the parking lot, a 360-degree turn around a flag, and then race back to the finish line.
But there was a catch.
"To give you a flavor of the twitchy handling "of the original muscle cars, you will race "while connected to an electronic muscle stimulator.
Fastest time wins.
" Where would you put it? I'd put it on him.
- Pecs.
- Pecs? Done.
You go first.
- Pecs, and I go first? - Yeah.
Mount 'em up.
Drive-ins have humps throughout the parking lot To raise each car up, Giving it the best view of the screen.
This terrain would definitely be a handling challenge.
Okay.
I got the electrodes.
- Okay.
You gonna hook that up? - Yeah.
To my pecs.
Oh, gosh.
You want me to hold that for you? Hell, no.
No, I'll just hold on to it.
You're not holding on to anything that's attached to me.
What are you gonna set it at? Controls go to 8.
8 will kill you.
So we'll go to 7.
Ohh! That was 3, and that's scary.
Ow.
Ow.
Let's see 5.
That's 4.
I don't want to do this anymore.
Okay, get in the car.
You're ready.
Leg up.
Leg up.
Leg up.
This seems incredibly safe.
Oh, it's like being stung by bees.
Officially one of the worst ideas ever.
This is twisted right now.
All right.
Give me a countdown, fellas! Ow! Aah! We just got to get the yeah, let's just make sure - Let's look like we're talking about the stopwatch - Come on! But just make him sit there longer.
Okay.
Ohh! Oh, but look at the stopwatch.
- Yeah, that one.
- You ready? Ow! Ow! Yeah.
Ow.
Ah, is that bright? Did I get you in the eye? Ow! Hey, it's pretty bright.
All right, fellas! Let's go! Okay, you ready? Here we go.
Yeah.
You ready? 3, 2 Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
Ow, ow, ow.
Ow! Ow! First turn.
Ohh! - Oh, That hurts.
- Look at his face.
Whoa.
Oh.
He is just He is going for it.
Tweet, tweet, tweet.
Tweet.
Oh! - Nice little hop there.
- Wow.
I'm impressed.
Kind of keeping his composure a little bit, considering.
Ow! Oh, that looks bad.
I spoke way too soon.
Wow.
All right.
360 around the blue flag.
aah! Now clutch kick around.
Ow.
Ow.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Is he gonna crash into the flag? No.
That's close enough to the flag.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Okay, um, you know what? Let's stand back here.
Let's just scoot back a little bit.
Ow.
Aah.
Ow.
Ow.
Whoa! 48 seconds.
Wow! Oh, that hurts.
How'd I do? Here's the thing that's freaky That thing seems to make you a better driver.
So, it was decided Adam should always wear an electronic muscle stimulator while driving.
48 seconds was now the time to beat.
Rutledge was up next and decided to connect it to his stomach.
Oh, gosh! Oh, that is really that is really working! I'm gonna poop.
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna poop my pants.
That sucks.
This is a bad idea.
Get in there.
Ow! That is so painful.
I am definitely gonna throw up.
Ah.
Mm.
I'm ready.
Let's go.
Holy hell.
Ow! 3, 2, 1, go! Ow! There he goes.
Oh, gosh, that hurt my stomach.
Holy crap.
Oh, gosh.
He's getting out of control.
He's got elbows and asses everywhere.
ow! Oh.
Man, the Georgia is coming out of Rutledge.
Oh, god, that hurts! It's so hard to concentrate.
And around the flag.
There you go.
Completely missed the flag altogether.
That's close enough.
ohh! That's so hard to do! Here he comes.
This is the scary part.
Almost there! Stop! I'm gonna throw up! Son of a Ow.
Oh.
Holy [bleep.]
.
Turn that off.
Turn that off.
Turn that off.
How'd he do? 50.
75.
Rut wasn't able to beat my time.
Race boy was up next, and since he is a professional driver, we had to keep the competition even.
So I found a special place for his electrodes.
You look so sad, like a little, lost puppy.
Oh, what is happening? What is happ this go! Here we go.
3, 2, 1, go! Aah! Ow! Ow! Look at that.
Oh, it hurts! Oh, gosh! Look at that.
No! Oh, this is so awesome.
It's like you hope something like this Will happen to your friend, and then when it finally does, It feels so much better.
Oh! Around the flag.
Oh, my teeth! Nice.
Nice, full circle.
That's quality right there.
Oh Finish line! Finish line! Finish line! - Oh! - Oh! Oh! Aah! Get this damn thing off of me! That one looked faster.
Yep.
It was slower.
It was? So, Adam took the challenge.
Why are you so angry? You look miserable.
I can smell my teeth right now.
Coming up, our muscle-car challenge continues Let's go get him.
And Rutledge and I race across the old west against horses.
We're in the middle of trying to find out which is the best modern muscle car, but in the last challenge I got to be honest it seemed like more sadistic torture.
I mean, how does sticking electrotherapy pads and shocking electricity through your brain test muscle cars? The important thing about that whole challenge was I won.
Yeah, and that was crazy.
Somehow, being electrocuted makes you a better driver.
Oh, it makes you a better everything.
I'm wearing them right now.
All right, so, the Mustang won the handling challenge, but to show Adam what Mustangs could really do, Tanner and I took two new souped-up versions that would put your little girly one to shame, and we put them to the test out in the old west.
This is Dead Horse Point in Utah.
Its desolate canyons and brutal terrain make it almost impassable, But there is one thing that still rules this frontier The horse.
Back in the mid 1800s, the Pony Express rode across these wild expanses of land.
But today horses have gotten a lot faster.
But I wanted to know just how much faster.
So to find out, we were gonna take on two horses in an epic race from Dead Horse Point Down to the mighty Colorado river.
All we needed now was to get ourselves some serious ponies.
It's sexy.
It's fast.
The 2012 Roush Stage 3 Mustang.
540 horsepower supercharged 5-liter v-8.
60 grand.
I'm not normally a Mustang guy, but for this race, There was only one choice.
The 2012 Ford Mustang Boss 302.
It's basically a rolling tribute to the original '69 Boss, The first muscle car of the Mustang lineup.
It's got a 5-liter V-8 pumping out 444 horsepower, which hopefully is enough power to beat one horse.
We had the cars.
We had the horses.
Now it was time to race.
So, the challenge today is, can we, with our new-school technology, Beat their old-school thought? Yeah, but over this kind of nasty terrain, they can just go straight there.
The roads go all the way around these huge cliffs.
The horses could cut straight across country to the finish line seven miles away, but they would be going across some of the roughest terrain in America.
Our cars would be traveling on paved roads the entire way But have to travel a full 46 miles to the finish.
In keeping the spirit of the Pony Express, where riders would have to hand off mail-filled satchels to each other mid-gallop, We'd be using leather saddlebags for our relay race.
I would begin the race in the Boss And then make the hand-off to Rutledge in the Roush at the halfway point 23 miles down the road.
The second rider was also staged halfway to the finish line, waiting for the hand-off from Buzz and Johnny Cash, 3 1/2 miles away.
The starting line was on a perfectly straight stretch of road, But tragically, the speed limit was 25.
3, 2, 1, go! and that's 25.
That's all I can do.
What?! No! No! This sucks.
And off he goes.
While I was stuck at 25, Buzz and Johnny Cash galloped off, heading straight across the grasslands to the edge of the Mesa three miles away.
25 miles an hour on such an epic road.
Buzz and Johnny Cash had already covered a mile and were just 2 1/2 miles from the hand-off point, but the Boss was about to be unleashed because just ahead was a 75-mile-an-hour zone.
All right, here comes my line.
Oh, yes! Sounds like the engine is right basically between my feet.
It's really a nice sound.
The shifting is super positive.
It really is fast, But what you notice about this car is how composed it is.
There's no drama, even the way the engine picks up its speed.
I'd managed to make up time as I took advantage of everything modern technology had to offer, and we were back in the game.
Buzz and Johnny Cash were re-creating the past at 10 miles an hour.
For the first time in this race, the boss had the advantage.
Then the road began snaking down to the valley below.
I know Mustangs are great in a straight line, but in the corners, I had my doubts.
I don't know.
That felt pretty composed.
That felt pretty balanced.
Got to be honest with you.
This is all feeling quite good.
That was so fun.
Come on, 3G.
Come on.
Meanwhile, Buzz and Johnny Cash had reached the cliffs Just a few hundred yards away from the head of the canyon, where the second rider waited for the hand-off.
Their hand-off was perfect.
And if Rutledge and I were gonna have a chance, Ours would have to be the same.
Hey, Rutledge, you ready? Rutledge, you got a copy? Rutledge.
Yeah, where are you? - There you are! There you are! Get in your car! - What? - Get in your car! - What are you doing?! Go, go, go, go! Come on! I'm coming up here! Rutledge, I'm gonna do a 180, And then I just want you to come up next to me copy that? What? What are you talking about? What are you doing!? You're going the wrong way! Come on! Come on! Catch it! Okay.
I can't go over the line.
Take it! Just throw it! Just throw it to me! Throw it! I got it! What?! That's a terrible throw.
God, Rutledge.
I'm getting in there! Our hand-off couldn't have gone worse.
Come on! It was clumsy, it was slow, And worst of all, I was stuck riding shotgun.
What took so long? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
30 zone.
Whoa! 30 zone.
- What? - I'm gonna go the speed limit.
I don't want to get a ticket in this thing.
You're going 22.
It stands out.
It says 30.
It's a 30-mile-per-hour zone.
That means speed limit.
You go under that.
Oh, you're almost going 47.
Be careful.
You might hit the limit.
That's the highest you can go.
Rutledge's driving was making me lose hope.
But thankfully, our four-legged competition was reduced to a slow walk As it recovered from the gallop.
This was our chance to get back in the lead.
Yeah! Like it, right? Good.
Ease off.
Feet on the power again.
We are gonna brake before the turn, just so you know.
Full throttle.
And release.
Ease off.
Wait for it.
Feeding on a little more gas.
Stay in your lane.
Feeding on.
Feeding on.
Yeah.
Full throttle.
I mean, I've driven a car before, you know.
This was gonna be a close one.
Really? Short-shifting at a time like this? - Awesome.
Hammer down.
Hammer down.
Ricky and Slinger were in full gallop with just 100 yards to go.
You got to go fast.
Go, go, go.
There he is! There he is! There he is! - Losing was not an option.
- Go, go, go, go! You got it.
No! Hammer down! 100 years of research, racing, design, and engineering would all be for nothing if we couldn't beat just one horse.
Watch out for the rocks.
We're gonna die.
Go, go, go, go! Come on, hammer down, Rut! Unbelievable.
Oh, come on.
Do you know what this means, Rutledge? I'm pretty sure this means we lost.
- Nice work.
- Good work.
I just can't believe we got beat by a horse.
Yeah.
It seems wrong.
I mean, we had hundreds of horsepower, and they had two.
Yeah.
Luckily, we have somebody to push every car we drive to the limit.
His name is the Stig.
So, which one of these is gonna be fastest around our track? Dead even off the line, although the Roush probably has a little advantage in acceleration.
Coming into the first corner, though, the Boss looking very composed, very balanced With that boss up on the top part of the screen.
Dead even as they come through the chicane.
Stig and Stig together on the same screen.
Don't know what to say about that.
Little bit of a drift from the Roush as they come into the teardrop.
This will be the Boss' advantage, putting that power down very successfully.
But the back straightaway has to be given up to the Roush with its higher horsepower.
Both cars just screaming down the back straightaway.
135 miles an hour.
By the tires.
Looks like the Boss has a slight edge.
In to the braking zone we go.
Cameraman's corner.
Is the Stig driving them differently? No.
Exactly the same in both cars.
The only difference here is one car to the next.
The boss makes it through the last corner.
It's too close to call! And across the line.
I've got to say Wow! Right? Those were some impressive, impressive-looking laps.
Before we get into the times, though, I mean, how much more is this car? Sticker price.
Uh, what, $15,000 and change? $16,000? I mean, it's got to be, yeah.
I mean, that's a lot more car.
100 more horsepower, though.
It does have 100 more horsepower.
You guys want to see the times? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Well, the Roush, will all of that money and fancy horsepower, came in with a 1:28.
9, which puts it right above the Evo.
Wow! And the measly Boss basically stock.
Boss 302, though.
I mean, it is a mean car.
You're right.
Smaller block.
Came in with a 1:28.
2.
The Boss takes it! Yeah! No way.
Yeah.
Ties it with the V12 Vantage.
Incredible.
Wow! It just goes to show it's not all about horsepower.
If you find the right balance, you get the right brake feel and steering feel, kind of combine it all into a performance package.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly all of those things Are exactly why you should buy a Dodge Challenger.
Coming up, our muscle-car challenge continues Oh, you are kidding.
And we have a run-in with the top dog of the species Boys, we got company! Stock cars.
We've set up to find what the best modern muscle car was Dodge, Ford, or Chevy? So far, Tanner's bitchin' Camaro had won the drag race Yeah! And with the help of a performance enhancer Ow! Ow! Adam's Mustang had taken the handling test.
Ow! My Challenger had been shut out.
I was determined to change that at a place I know well The Auto Club Speedway in Fontana, Nascar's home in Southern California.
This was the perfect place for me to prove that my Challenger was the best modern muscle car.
Oh, man.
I love this.
I can't believe we got this whole track to ourselves, fellas.
Unbelievable.
Hey, what's that noise? Probably just some Camaro Thunder.
That ain't Camaro Thunder.
Yeah, I hear something.
Boys, we got company! Holy Oh, you are kidding me.
We just got passed by real race cars.
Okay, I'm going home.
That's I'm good.
And I need a change of pants.
All right, let's find out what we're doing here.
I tell you what this day keeps getting better and better.
Amen to that.
All right.
"The Stig has lapped your cars on this oval "and achieved a top speed for each.
"to see which of your cars "best lives up to the muscle-car legacy "of making high speed accessible to the masses, "you'll each attempt to get as close to that speed as possible.
Closest top speed wins.
" If we were even going to get close to those speeds, we would have to make a few modifications to make our cars more aerodynamic.
Yeah.
You didn't do anything.
Really? You just made this car yours.
What did you do? You made your own splitter.
I did.
And I believe that's garden-edging plastic, - Is it not? - Absolutely not.
It is high-tech carbon fiber.
No! I've seen that before.
I used that on a Honda once.
- Yeah, it's gardening divider.
- Yeah.
Oh, you are kidding.
Free beer? Free beer.
How's that for Nascar? I'm at a total loss.
You're up first.
Gentlemen, pay attention.
Really? That's how it just went down? What did the stig do in this? So you need to go 153 miles an hour.
Yeah.
You just get one shot at this, you know.
I know.
Once you leave this line, that's it.
It is on.
So, once you leave pit row, you are on the point of no return.
Yeah.
It's like a qualifying lap in Nascar.
It's like a qualifying lap.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thumbs up.
Cue the burnout.
Patrick, you ever been on a Nascar track before? Uh, no.
Yeah, it's a bit intense.
It's time now for "Big Star, Small Car," and our celebrity today is one of my favorites.
It is Patrick Warburton.
Thank you.
So, how you feeling? Are you ready to get out there on the track? I'm not a great driver.
I'm fearless and dumb behind the wheel.
Let's see what happens.
I think that's a good combo.
Good luck.
We'll see you in the hangar when we're done.
Good luck.
All right.
Let's do this.
At the moment, Arlene Tur has the fastest time on our board With a 1:42.
4.
Let's see what Patrick can do.
That's not good.
All right, looks like he's carrying a lot of speed, going wide on the first turn.
Now he's coming in to the chicane.
Look at that.
He downshifted.
We don't see that there very much.
That was pretty.
Little squeal as he's turning down in towards the teardrop.
That was not very pretty.
Nice transition.
Pretty smooth.
Coming up towards the backstretch.
Ooh, and look how quick he gets over towards the grass.
At the halfway point, Patrick is just 1/2 second off of our fastest time.
Oh, he is hauling the mail.
Oh, stabs a brake, corrects it.
Gets it to turn back in there.
Smooth as silk.
He's really pushing that thing around.
Abhorrent driving.
A lot of speed there through the S's.
Coming up to the last turn.
Nice and smooth.
And across the line.
Whoo! Patrick, come on up.
Hey, buddy.
How you doing? Grab a seat, please.
Yeah.
Let me just say I am a huge, huge fan of yours.
You're the voice of joe on "Family guy," Puddy on "Seinfeld," "Rules of engagement.
" You were the tick.
I mean, you've done it all.
Man, I love you, so Aww.
Just had to get that out.
This is gonna surprise you.
One of us on the stage has owned a Chevy truck jacked up on 44-inch tires, and it is not me.
I want to know, how did you end up in this midlife-crisis car? All right.
This is what happened.
I'm at the Pomona swap meet.
There's this lone car that looked just like that, and it's sitting there.
It had 1,500 miles on it, And, you know, it was just a $30,000 price tag, So I knew something was up.
Salvage title car.
It had been wrecked, you know, like, out of the box.
Somebody wrecked it.
And I just thought for fun, you know, I'd pick it up.
I had it checked out.
It was straight.
You know, got an alignment on it.
I was told that, "the welds aren't too pretty, but it ain't gonna break.
" So, then So, I buy it, and I said, "all right, cool.
All right.
" And at the very first light you know, I'm 6'3".
My head sticks up about 3 inches above the windshield.
I couldn't have felt more conspicuous.
And I just got in this thing.
I'm like And then I just start sinking in the seat.
I'm like, "oh, my god.
I'm that guy.
" You're that guy.
But, now, you went from that car to what I think is a real car A '69 charger R/T with a 440.
I mean, that's a beautiful car.
It's an interesting shot there.
It looks like something for Fore magazine.
Yeah.
Seems like you love golf.
I'm about as good at golf as I am at driving, so What would you name a car like that? Oh, that's Angelina.
- Angelina.
- Angelina, yes.
Any reason? Any particular reason? Uh, you know Dark, sexy, mean, sultry, Like miss Angelina Jolie, see? And, then, the motor home is named The motor home is named Pammy, after Pam Anderson.
Just big, bodacious, so And also, too, it also just kind of irritates the wife, so it's fun to do.
I was gonna say, have you ever thought about naming something after her? Because that seems like a better path than I'd get less hell for it, but it's not as fun.
It seems like it would be awkward at times.
Like, "I'll be underneath Angelina if you need me.
" "I'm sorry.
I can't hear you.
I'm in Angelina.
" Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I want to hear, how did you feel like your lap went? I mean, did you feel like you learned a lot When you were out there? The one thing that I can really recall is that you're cognizant of everything.
He teaches it.
You know what you got to do.
But when you introduce the adrenaline aspect and you really want to do well, then all of a sudden, everything goes out the door.
But I don't know.
All right, so, let's take a look at the leader board.
There's a lot of good times up there.
Arlene Tur's still at the top.
Kid rock.
That was a wet lap.
That was impressive.
Where do you think would be a good spot in your mind? I'm going to guess that I am between I hope that I'm between Ed and Rick, 'cause there's a good gap there.
You think here.
Ed and Rick.
Yes.
Between Ed and Rick.
So, that is considered a good time to you.
No.
No.
But it's not the worst.
Patrick, you did it In 1:41.
8! No way! Really? Wow! Congratulations! Really? Yeah! Patrick Warburton the top of the leader board! I had no idea.
Right there.
Coming up This is it.
We find out just how fast our modern muscle cars can go.
Don't die.
Don't die.
Don't die.
There's a lot of debate As to which was the first muscle car.
But one thing everyone can agree on is how you make a muscle car.
Take a small car And stuff in the biggest engine you can find.
We've been trying to settle an argument which is the best modern muscle car? Tanner's girly automatic Camaro had somehow won the drag race.
Yeah! And my Mustang won the handling test.
Ow! Rut's Challenger had won nothing.
So it all came down to the final challenge At the Auto Club Speedway in Fontana.
The stig had lapped our cars and reached the top speed.
Our task now was to match it.
I was up first and had to get to 153 miles an hour.
I'm just listening for the crash.
Uh-oh.
Scary turn.
Little too fast.
Little too fast.
Turn 3.
He's going fast, actually.
Oh.
Please don't die.
Don't die.
Don't die.
Don't die.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Oh, wow.
Down the straightaway.
130, 135 140, 141! Can't look down anymore.
Coming in to the turn.
That is way faster than I thought he would go.
Ooh.
Oh, these turns are scary! That's good.
That's good there.
Damn, is that fun! I understand this whole Nascar thing now.
How'd you do? How fast? The last time I looked down was 141.
I'm impressed, man.
That's hauling it.
Okay, so, that's 12 miles an hour slower than the stig.
And it would've been probably only 138 without the stickers.
Good point.
Who's next? Done.
You're up.
Splitter, do your thing.
Splitter.
Yeah.
Looks like a shark with the splitter, right? Looks like a shark with an overbite.
The stig had gone 151 miles an hour in my car, which was fast, but I was confident that my state-of-the-art aerodynamic garden edging would make it even faster.
All right, stig.
You and me, mano y mano! This is it.
Oh! The lip fell off! What the hell was that? I think I lost my splitter.
Let's go back for that thing.
That counts.
That's his lap.
What did he say to me? "Once you leave pit row" Oh, you're gonna have to call him on that.
Watch me.
- Just a quick fix.
- No, no.
There's no quick fix.
No quick fix? I just need a little duct tape.
There's no duct tape.
That's your run.
I'm gonna throw it back on here.
No.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
You left pit row.
You said one shot.
Once you left here, that was it.
"once you leave pit row.
" what? yes.
How fast did you go? - 74! - 74! And what was stig's top speed? - 151.
- 151.
I'm not good at math, but I will tell you that, uh, you lost.
- Love you guys.
- Yep.
Tanner was out, and I was up next.
Oh, man, I love it When you feel it climb up on the banking like that.
If I was gonna beat Adam and get my Challenger back in the game, I was going to need to go at least 152 miles per hour.
All right.
Get up by the wall.
Come on, Challenger! 470 horsepower! We can do it! Wow.
Rutledge is pushing it.
Man, he's on it, huh? In Nascar, they're hitting 205 going into this turn.
I'm doing 140, and it is scary as hell.
He is ripping down the back straightaway into turn 3.
Holy crap! Oh, my gosh.
I'm sweating.
Oh, man.
Here we go.
140 145 150 152! I made it! I made it! I made it! I made it! Holy Wow! That's fast! All right.
So, let's figure out where we're at.
- You won the drag race.
- Yep.
I won the handling challenge.
You went fastest in a circle.
- Very fast, thank you.
- Three-way tie.
It's not a three-way tie.
We all won one event.
I would like to say that the Challenger went the fastest on a Nascar track.
They race that car in Nascar, it wins there.
Therefore, I'm the winner.
Oh, because the muscle cars had everything to do with Nascar.
Well, not exactly.
I mean, what are muscle cars about? Quarter-mile.
That is right.
And that's what the Camaro won, And that's why the Camaro takes the challenge.
I disagree.
No.
Absolutely.
It's a three-way tie.
It's easy math.
You won one, I won one, you won one, and I am the last one to speak, so that is that.
Goodbye.
Thank you very much.