Top Gear (US) s03e04 Episode Script

One Tank

Now, on "Top Gear" How far can you drive on just one tank of gas? I may have a problem.
We find out when we try to race 700 miles from Portland to San Francisco without refueling.
Come on! Come on! And the winner gets an epic prize when he gets to race an extreme kayaker in one of the least fuel-efficient vehicles ever made.
Since 1975, vehicles in the USA have almost doubled their fuel efficiency.
And 2012 has seen record sales of gas-electric hybrids.
But when you choose a vehicle, it's not just about MPG.
It's also about looks, handling, and power.
So is there a car that lets you have it all? We each chose vehicles to put to the ultimate test of how far you can get on just one tank of gas.
We met up at the crack of dawn in Portland, Oregon.
And because our race to San Francisco is more than 700 miles, it meant that electric cars wouldn't be able to make it, and happily, neither would hybrids with their tiny gas tanks.
Tanner was the first to arrive.
This is a BMW 528i.
It doesn't seem like the most obvious choice for a one tank of fuel 700-mile road trip, but I figure this is a game about efficiency, and I don't know, really, anything more efficient than a German engineer.
They gave it an 8-speed automatic transmission to keep the rpms low and save fuel.
And the slipstream aerodynamic shape Just icing on the old mpg cake.
I own a BMW, and I know they're fun to drive.
For me, I think fun is the only thing that's going to keep me from poking both of my eyes out on a road trip like this.
Ho ho, Rutledge.
Ok, before you say anything, let me make 3 guesses.
Ok.
You got it on craigslist.
Yes, again.
And you want to keep it.
Totally! All 3.
That's it.
'97 Volkswagen Passat TDi turbo diesel.
Oh, my gosh.
Weight is the entire key to good miles per gallon.
3,000 pounds.
What's that weigh? 3,800 pounds.
Wow! I have 3 times the horsepower and a little something called technological innovation.
How many miles per gallon does it get? 35 miles a gallon.
I don't believe that for a second.
Maybe so, but I've seen how you drive, so I think you've got no chance.
What I want to know is, what do you think Adam got? Something small, I think.
Wow.
I was way off.
I was way off.
But I don't think he got the point of what we're supposed to do here.
At all.
Huh? Did you understand at all what this is about? Yes, I did, my friend.
We have to make it from Portland to San Francisco without refueling.
The Ford F-350 bi-fuel Excellent choice.
35-gallon gas tank and compressed natural gas tank in the bed, for an equivalent of 21.
2 extra gallons, for a grand total of 56.
2 gallons of fuel.
That's pretty good thinking, but completely not legal.
Why not? That's two tanks.
The one-tank challenge means one singular tank.
No, we just have to make it there without refueling.
So more is better.
They don't make 'em like they used to.
That's it.
Modern technological innovation.
I'm gonna get something out of my system first.
Just stand aside.
Ok, sure.
Is he gonna pee by the car? I don't know.
Here's the thing.
It only weighs 3, 000 pounds.
Oh, my gosh.
It's a 5-speed, which these are pretty hard to find in this good a condition.
How many miles are on it? Yes! This is what this car begs to do.
I mean, it's a great deal.
What you got in here, you got 263,000 miles You have to be careful with it, sure.
I think you could do it.
I feel so much better.
You guys ready to do this or what? Sure.
Our race would take at least 12 hours, so we were starting early in the morning.
And the finish line was at the decommissioned Alameda naval air base in San Francisco.
Whoever got closest to the finish line without running out of gas would get the keys to the ultimate off-road vehicle, a king of the hammers truck, and go head to head with one of the top kayakers on the planet in an epic race deep in the rocky mountains.
It was time to start the race.
This is it, gentlemen.
Last gas station we're gonna see for 700 miles.
All right, we ready? I'm feeling pretty good, actually.
This car's super comfortable, brand-new.
It's not 10 years old and doesn't smell bad.
Aha.
I'll be fine.
After we filled up our tanks and sealed them so there'd be no cheating, nothing could stop us.
I'm gonna get some snacks.
You want something? No.
Except that.
The problem that I have is that this car is old.
Yeah? Which, by the way, is normally what you would pick.
Excuse me.
Classics.
Whatever.
The fact is that it doesn't have all of, like, the safety stuff.
Like, I've got like 220 air bags.
That has two.
It weighs 800 pounds less than mine.
800? 800.
It's like 3,000 or something less than your truck.
Having such a lightweight vehicle was gonna give Rut a big fuel efficiency advantage.
So we decided to do something about it.
God! Yeah, it's terrible, isn't it? Rut's volkswagen already reeked like an old lady's apartments.
This is actually helping him.
So a few pounds of cat litter was just what it needed.
And the fact is, we're actually adding to the safety of the thing.
Look at all the weight we're putting in the back.
See that? How many pounds did you get? This is about 400 pounds.
You ready? Yeah.
I'm right behind you guys.
We pulled out and officially started the slowest road race ever.
Gentlemen, get comfortable.
700 miles before the next stop.
San Francisco, here we come.
We left Portland in our rear-view mirrors and started our journey South.
For the first section, we follow the 5 freeway, cut over to the coast, and then take the 101 all the way to San Francisco.
This car really is the perfect one for the challenge.
The reason this car really does so well is because it's light.
It only weighs 3,000 pounds.
Plus, with the manual, this is a car that you can actually exceed what the epa said you could get for mileage out of it.
So I picked it.
There are a lot of reasons why this car, at least out of these 3, is the best for this trip.
This machine is multi-talented.
It can be fun, and it can be efficient.
And that can only be done through innovations that actually work.
For example, instead of just driving with less throttle, you go to the eco pro mode, and the throttle simply becomes less effective.
The whole car does all of this decision-making for you to make sure that you're being as efficient as possible.
I want to win this challenge in this truck, 'cause it's a monster.
I'm gonna drive from Portland, Oregon, one of the greenest cities in the country, to San Francisco, another one of the greenest cities in the country, winning a fuel challenge in a Ford f-350.
Ha ha! Take that, you wool-hat-wearing hipster.
But in reality, none of us were in great shape.
To make it to San Francisco, we'd be pushing our cars to the limits of their fuel efficiency.
I have an 181/2-gallon fuel tank, so If my numbers are correct, I think I need to get about 40 miles per gallon average to make it.
If I average 12.
5 miles per gallon, I should make it 700 miles and be the king of hammers.
But right now I'm averaging9.
1.
Which isn't good.
My average is up to 29.
7.
Hell, yeah! But you only have an 18-gallon tank.
That means I need to average 38.
We need some downhill.
Where is the downhill? 30 miles outside Eugene, a city even hippier than Portland, if that's humanly possible.
We found some hills and it was time for our first challenge.
You know, when I was a kid, my mom used to coast on this one road and see how far she could go.
And I'm pretty sure this beemer can go way further than her old Honda accord could go.
Well, I'm pretty sure that this f-350 that weighs 6,500 pounds can go further than your little beemer.
Not a chance.
I think the Passat can go further than both of them.
So how about this? Next big hill we find, let's just mark it off, we'll see who can coast the farthest.
Ok.
I'll go first.
Ok, I'll go after you.
No, I want to go second, dude.
All right.
To keep it fair, let's just ro-sham-bo.
Yeah.
Paper, rock, scissors? Ok, ready, and 1, 2, 3, what'd you get? You tell me first.
You first.
I got rock.
I had paper.
I win.
How do I know that's fair? See it in the rear-view mirror? You might think that Adam had the advantage in this challenge because his truck weighed the most.
Ok, Adam, you are first up.
Copy.
But this was also a test of aerodynamics and our tires' road resistance.
And since Adam was driving a knobby-tired brick, this was anybody's game.
Ok, put it in neutral and See ya.
Ok, coasting into neutral behind you.
That's it, big girl.
Ok, here I come.
Come on.
Come on, I'm gaining on Tanner.
Hey.
Rutledge, did you accelerate into it? Because I started in neutral and you're catching up to me right now.
No, I didn't at all.
Let's go.
6,500 pounds, 65 miles an hour.
Oh, crap! Oh, that's scary! Coming up, life in the slow lane gets intense as we race to San Francisco.
No! Come on! Come on! And later, it's the ultimate off-road truck versus the most bad-ass kayaker in the world.
Top Gear had sent us to the Pacific Northwest to see how far we could get on just one tank of gas.
I'd chosen a '97 VW Passat, Tanner, a 2012 BMW 5 series, and Adam, a Ford F-350.
The winner would get to drive one of the craziest off-road trucks ever made.
After 95 miles, we decided to put our cars to a highly scientific test of aerodynamics, friction, and momentum, otherwise known as coasting.
We'd see how far we could go from the top of a hill without touching the gas.
6,500 pounds, 65 miles an hour.
Oh, crap! Oh, that's scary! Ok, this was no Daytona 500.
But trying to see through the rain without braking definitely got the adrenaline pumping.
Dude, I am pulling on you still.
Get out of my way! I can see the draft from my car going over the roof of your car.
Ok, now let me by.
Let me by.
As soon as you pull out of the draft, you're gonna just slow right down and block me.
That's such bull (Bleep) and you know it.
Let me around.
Look, Mr.
Nascar, soon as you slingshot past me and the draft, you're gonna lose all your gumption.
Oh, he's gonna pass you on the inside! Wow, we are catching you up big-time.
You better pull over to the right.
Pull over to the right, Adam.
No, Adam, move over to the left.
Move over to the left.
Left, left, left.
Oh, yeah! He flies by! Come on! Come on! Ohh! Damn it.
Look how far back Adam is.
He's in another zip code.
All right, your car's the best coaster.
I won! I'm the man.
Yeah, Passat.
This sucks.
I had won the glorious title of best coaster.
And to celebrate, I decided we needed a break.
Nice parking job.
Nailed it.
Nothing says road trip like beef jerky and gallons of high fructose corn syrup.
You're gonna drink that? We got, like Over 600 miles, somewhere like 607 miles left.
Yeah.
You're gonna drink that? With all that caffeine? And this car? And your personality? It says it has vitamin B in it.
All right, I'll tell you what.
I'll drink mine, you drink yours.
First one that stops to pee loses.
- I'm in.
- I'm in.
- Salud.
- Cheers.
Elbows up.
That's it.
Perfect.
I feel energized.
- Ready? - Yeah, I'm ready.
Mount up, gentlemen.
My heart is gonna pop.
Here's my plan.
There's a reason I kept this For the bladder challenge.
Just in case.
Rut, have you peed in a car before? One time, we were in Washington, D.
C.
In a huge traffic jam, and my wife had to hold a map over my crotch so I could pee in a bottle 'cause there were other people in the car.
I mean, that's true love.
For my wife to hold the map so everyone in the car wouldn't see my cash and prizes.
That's love.
What's the longest you've ever peed? I don't think I've ever timed myself.
A minute 47.
You timed it? Yes.
I have been slowly building the size of my bladder, expanding it by keeping track of how long each pit stop takes.
You put that into your computer? I do have it graphed out over the last 6 years, but I am an average of a minute 5 seconds, with the record being 1:47.
Anything over 1:30 is generally either in the morning or very painful.
How is it that you're single and you keep track of your urination schedule? Is this the conversation you have with the women? "You know, I've been training my bladder for years.
" I mean, wow, what a catch.
In any case, the point is, the last 6 years of bladder training have all culminated in this road trip, where I refuse to pee before you two.
My bladder capacity was fine.
It was my fuel capacity that I was worried about.
Getting 33 miles per gallon.
That is 5 less than I need to make it to San Francisco.
It is not looking good.
All right, trip computer says we have gone 138.
1 miles, using 9.
7 gallons of fuel, averaging 14.
2 miles per gallon, so I'm doing good so far.
The needle on my fuel tank has yet to move.
However, I am starting to get the sensation that I do need to pee.
Which is not good.
Yeah, this isn't gonna be good.
Oh, I'm getting a little bit uncomfortable here.
10 miles later, we hit the majestic Oregon coast.
Seeing the vast expanse of the mighty Pacific ocean had a real effect on me and my bladder.
My only hope to win this challenge was to get Rut to pee first.
Did you see the movie "A river runs through it"? How about Kevin Costner in "Waterworld"? No one saw that.
Rut, have you ever been to niagara falls? You know where the water is just, like, dumping and pouring in there, and the steam comes up? If you could imagine you're dancing on the edge there, let's say, like, basically naked, maybe just in your briefs.
Not that I'm imagining you naked.
He's creepy.
He's really creepy.
You got goose bumps, there's bits of dew on every little hair follicle.
It's just insane, the amount of fluid pouring down.
What are you talking about, man? Tanner, did something happen to you at Niagara Falls? You know what? You guys suck.
That's it.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
I gotta find a place to pull over.
Ohh First one to use the Rut! Wow! The fastest he's moved all day.
That was amazing.
Heh! You you doin'? I'm great.
I don't do you need to use the You go first.
No, after you.
I'm fine.
I insist.
Go ahead.
I'm just gonna hang out here and check out the ocean.
Look at those freezing cold waves splashing on those rocks.
Just ebbin' and flowin'.
Yeah.
That's a lot of water.
Look at the way it's running off that ok.
All right.
Oh, my gosh, that feels better.
Why does the car sit like that? There's, like, 20 bags of kitty litter in here.
Hello.
Bunch of jackasses.
It's gotta be a couple hundred pounds.
Look at that.
It's a total difference.
Huh? I thought you were kiddin' me.
1:50.
It's your personal best? That is a record right there.
We'd completed 249 miles of the 704-mile challenge.
Ahead of us was the state of California and the city streets of San Francisco.
It was time for a fuel level update.
Hey, what's your gas gauge say right now? Uh, it is over half tank.
I am just now getting to almost 3/4 of a tank.
I am just under a half in my main tank.
Oh, he is blowing through that.
Gentlemen, welcome to California.
We'd reached one of those infamous places in the golden state Humboldt county, part of the so-called emerald triangle, a region that annually produces over a billion dollars' worth of all-natural glaucoma medicine.
Coincidentally, I suddenly got the munchies.
I am getting hungry.
I don't have time to stop.
But I've got a plan.
I can't believe Tanner's keeping this together.
He's gotta be going insane driving at this speed.
I mean, if you think about it, "Snow White and the seven dwarfs.
" Where do they come up with that idea? It doesn't make any sense.
Who named them? Like, they weren't just born Dopey and Grumpy, were they? I mean Problem I'm facing now I have to switch tanks 'cause I am almost out of fuel.
So I'm gonna switch over to CNG.
So ok, here we go.
I am now running on compressed natural gas.
Uh-oh.
My trip meter didn't work after I switched.
So from now on, I'd be driving blind.
It's pitiful.
We got a scooter passing us.
There he is.
Look at me.
I am a genius.
Mobile pizza delivery.
Did he order a pizza? Coming up Please don't run out of gas here.
We pushed the cars to their limit.
Give me a spot now! And the winner gets to drive a truck that eats nature alive.
"Top Gear" had given us a challenge to race from Portland to San Francisco without refueling.
Whoo! Rut hand won the coasting challenge.
Tanner's bladder training came in handy.
But on paper, none of us had the range to make it to the finish line.
Each of us wanted to win and get the chance to drive an epic off-road truck.
There he is.
Look at me.
I am a genius.
Did he order a pizza? While our cars were sipping fuel, Rut's primary tank was running empty.
Got it.
Here you go, pal.
Keep the change! And he only got one.
Ah.
'Cause he's selfish.
Where have you been all day? Ooh! After 352 miles, we had crossed the halfway point of our journey, and my gas gauge wasn't looking good.
It was time for plan "B.
" Uh, fellas, I'm gonna make a pit stop.
I'll catch up with you.
Hi.
Do you have any more of these? How many do you need? I don't know why Adam stopped.
He must have known he was gonna run out of gas.
So he's probably getting, you know, food and water, maybe a couple magazines, something to read while he's waiting for a tow.
It was late in the day, and the herd was thinning, but if I wanted to win this race, I needed to change my strategy, and I needed to do it now.
It seems like every time we break 60 miles an hour, I actually start to get better fuel economy.
I think it just finally gets into eighth gear, which is a huge gear.
And of course, the aerodynamics of the car, everything about this car is designed to be driven at speed.
Getting a nice draft here.
That is perfect.
See you! Leveling off at 65 miles an hour, instead of getting 34 miles to the gallon, I'm getting 43 miles to the gallon right now.
Getting up into cruising speed made a big difference.
Now I've got a chance.
But I knew that the 101 gets clogged going into San Francisco.
So in order to maintain my higher speed, I needed a detour.
Where are you going? I think I'm gonna take a little bit of a different route.
And besides, if I did run out of gas, I'd break down in the BMW's natural habitat.
Napa Valley wine country So with 100 miles to go, Adam had stopped, and Tanner had disappeared.
Victory was within my reach.
But then Whoa.
Boy, that front strut is a-clackin' now.
I think the road trip might have worn the Passat out a little bit.
It's been 600 miles, and this thing hasn't had a single problem.
Until now.
I mean, I could just blow a radiator hose and poof, be out of this thing.
Or this gauge could be wrong, and I've been relying on this the entire time.
Even if there were problems with my car, I was still out front, alone in the lead.
There he is.
Hello, Rut.
I had spoken too soon.
Hey, where did Tanner go? He said he was gonna take a shortcut.
A shortcut? What is that flapping on the back of your truck? That's plastic wrap.
Now the wind coming over the cab doesn't collect in the bed and drag the truck back.
Brilliant.
We weren't allowed to do anything to the cars.
Yes, we can.
So you are now doubly cheating.
You've got two tanks, you're trying to find some aero advantage with the plastic wrap.
What a joke.
Well, you know, they've done studies talking about trucks, with the tailgate up or tailgate down and whether it's got a little shell on the back.
They say the most efficient way is with the tailgate up and no shell on it.
I don't listen to them.
Oh, and I also had to take out 400 pounds of kitty litter.
As did I, 'cause some (Bleep) Put them in my trunk.
Listen, if you're gonna call Tanner an (Bleep), at least do it to his face.
All right, well, how far do we have? I think we've got maybe 70 miles left.
Oh, good.
And I have an eighth of a tank left.
Maybe I've made a poor choice.
I already got 30 miles more out of this tank than most people would get.
It's not gonna happen.
There's the bridge.
We're getting close.
The race to the finish line was on, but we had to get over the Richmond-San Rafael bridge first.
Breaking down here would be suicide.
Please don't, please don't run out of fuel here.
Ah, and it's a long bridge.
There's hardly any room to pull off here, either.
I hope you can swim.
I'm telling you, if you run out, you're gonna have to jump.
You don't think that Tanner's shortcut worked, do you? You shouldn't worry about Tanner, my friend.
You should worry about me.
My palms are sweaty, my heart is racing.
I'm spending more time looking at this little orange range number than I am at the road.
15 miles left, and I am on "E.
" And Adam is still there.
How is Adam still in this? Is your fuel light on? My fuel light is on, but I don't need that much to win.
I've been driving along with range zero now for, like, 25 miles.
I mean, why even put a range thing on there if it doesn't mean anything? My needle has finally dropped.
We are miles away, and I am sitting on empty.
Oh, look at all that delicious fuel.
Yum.
Two tanks full of gasoline.
Do I need it? No.
I'm just driving on a will and a prayer.
Come on, I want to win this.
You want to beat two German cars, don't you? I was at 700 miles.
I just had to find the Alameda naval base.
It was so close I could taste it.
This is the point where I feel like if I've made it this far, I've just gotta throttle down and go for it.
If there's any fuel left, I've gotta use it now.
I'm gonna drive this thing like it has never been driven before.
Don't stop, either.
Don't stop.
Feel it! 4,000 rpms.
I'm leaving him in a cloud of dust back there.
Come on, come on, come on.
No braking.
No braking.
Oh, now third gear's getting twitchy with me, huh? Come on, baby.
Just stay together.
We're almost there.
We are in the lead! Come on, get out of my way.
You brake-checked me on purpose! This is the first time I've driven it hard enough to hear the turbo.
Come on.
Let's go.
How is there so much traffic right now? All I had to do was get around Rut, and victory was mine.
Are you ready, baby? We're gonna make our move now! Go.
Ha ha ha! Ok, here, you want me to let you in? Not gonna happen.
Turbo power! Look at him, just getting dusted.
Just gettin' dusted by the turbo diesel.
Come on, come on, come on.
We arrived at Alameda naval base.
The finish line was now just a few hundred yards away.
We were both still in the game.
But where was Tanner? Give me a spot now.
There it is.
I got it! I got it! No, come on! Come on! Ha ha! Top Gear had given us the task to race 700 miles from Portland to San Francisco without refueling.
Along the way, Rut hand won the coasting contest.
And Tanner's bladder lasted the longest in the pee challenge.
We hadn't seen race boy in 40 miles after he peeled off looking for a faster route.
And now, Rut and I were neck and neck with the finish line in sight.
Give me a spot now! There it is.
I got it! I got it! No, come on! Come on! Ha ha! Yes! Yes! No! No! Ah ha ha ha! He's out of gas! Yes! Passat! Whoo! This is gonna suck.
You know what that sound is? The sound of victory.
I'm here.
Ok.
I won.
You know what? I have to shake your hand.
You are the king of the morons.
No, it's king of the hammers.
Call it whatever you want.
I know a moron when I see one.
As do I.
And there's one right there.
You're kiddin' me.
Look at that.
How was that shortcut? Did you enjoy yourself? How do you think it was? I just rode in a tow truck.
No offense, Victor.
Only two of us made it.
What? No, I made it.
I made it.
I did not stop for fuel.
I won.
I drove here.
I didn't run out of gas.
Tanner, may I present king of the morons.
It's king of the hammers.
It's king of hammers.
I got it.
I got it this time.
You know what? Because I like you two, I'm gonna offer you a ride.
Let's go.
Hop in.
I got I got tons Shotgun.
Whoa, backseat.
Backseat.
I was proud of my Passat's victory.
But now, it was time to leave the city and head deep into the Rocky Mountains to drive one of the most bad-ass trucks in the world.
This is nature.
It covers most of the earth.
It's been around a long time A lot longer than us and a lot longer than our cars.
I'm surrounded by all this nature for one reason.
'Cause I won the one tank of fuel challenge.
My prize? To drive this.
This is a truck.
It's not just any truck.
This is possibly the meanest, gnarliest, most versatile off-road truck that's ever been built, and it eats nature for breakfast.
Like, literally eats it, at the rate of 4 miles per gallon.
So why is this truck such a beast? Well, first off, it's got 19 inches of ground clearance.
It's got 16 inches of suspension travel.
And it's got enormous tires that can pull it up a nearly vertical rock wall.
It can be rolled over, flipped back on its wheels and keep going.
It can't be killed.
It's like the automotive equivalent of a cockroach.
Now, this truck started life as a 2008 Ford Ranger.
It was made into a rock crawler at first, and then modified to do fast desert racing at the same time.
And there's a race for that.
It's called the king of the hammers.
This Ranger is now so heavily modified that the only original part left is the gas pedal.
But what a gas pedal it is, operating a 450 horsepower v8.
It is so evil, so wicked, so totally destructive to fossil fuels that even our conscience at "Top Gear" needed a way to offset its carbon footprint.
So I'm here to race an extreme kayak powered by man.
We're gonna race down a raging river powered by, well, nature.
But first, I had to drive the truck to the starting line 3,000 feet up the mountain.
Let's see how we get in this thing.
Oh, yeah.
Ok.
Ohh.
Oh, it is snug in here.
Quick release.
It seems easy enough.
Ok.
Ignition And All right.
There we go.
Tiny helmet Check.
Let's give this a whirl.
Holy (Bleep)! Wow! That has got some power there! Oh, (Bleep), that hurts.
Really? It was clearly not ow Made for someone 6'3 Holy crap! Sheer drop-off! Oh, God, it's scary! I mean, it's just straight down.
Like, if the rock field and the tumble doesn't kill me, the fact that I'll be stuck upside down underwater, that will surely kill me.
OhhMama.
The raging torrent below was no place for the truck.
But my opponent would be right at home there.
Meet Erik Boomer, one of the best extreme kayakers on earth.
He's known as the Honey Badger for his tenacity.
And his specialty is death-defying drops down waterfalls the height of 5-story buildings.
If I'm correct, one time, you rappelled over a waterfall, and then cut the rope just so you could get to, like, the remote part of it.
Yeah, it's true.
So, what's wrong with you? I don't know.
I guess it's just my idea of a good time.
So what happens if something goes wrong? Well, on this particular river, it is so dangerous that we've set safety in the places where, you know, death and serious injury or potential and where you know, if you've got your seatbelt clipped, you're probably good to go.
I need a team of people watching out for me.
You don't have to brag about it.
All right, well, I guess the only way to settle this is to race.
Good luck.
All right.
You're on, man.
Hope you don't drown.
Yeah, be safe.
The race would start at 9,000 feet.
The finish line was at the old mill 3,000 feet below.
The river was the most direct route.
4 miles of class 5 whitewater rapids littered with huge waterfalls.
I would race along 8 miles of one of the toughest off-road trails in America.
But first, I'd have to climb 2,000 feet over the mountain before the trail rejoined the river two miles from the finish below.
It's my job to defend the automobile against its natural opponent Nature.
And I've had to make a really hard decision.
You see, I want to win, but I don't want to die.
So for the sake of the automobile industry, I've given the keys to backwoods Stig.
The Stig is "Top Gear's" fearless test driver.
His backwoods cousin is an off-road monster who lives only to tame nature.
He doesn't know defeat and would rather perish than lose a challenge, which is kinda scary.
How ya doin' there, Stiggy? Fire this thing up.
Oh, gosh.
Honey badger! Are you ready?! Ok! Here we go! In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Go! Holy (Bleep)! "Top Gear" had sent us to the Pacific Northwest to race 700 miles on one tank of gas.
My '97 VW Passat had won.
Yeah! So I got the chance to race an insane king of the hammers truck against one of the best kayakers in the world.
But realizing I was at a true disadvantage in the deep woods Oh, God, that is scary! I recruited the backwoods Stig to man the wheel.
Go! So now, it was truck versus nature in the ultimate battle for supremacy.
Holy (Bleep)! For the first 3 miles, we had to climb up over the mountain through steep, rocky woodland.
Backwoods Stig was in no mood to lose.
Yeah.
This is just beating the (Bleep) out of me.
But neither was the Honey Badger as he fought his way through some class 5 rapids.
Ohh, this is so sketchy! Oh, God.
Oh, my lord.
That is a straight drop off the side of this.
As the Stig and I continued a 3-mile trail over the mountain Oh, yeah.
Feel that.
The Honey Badger was approaching a set of two deadly waterfalls over 30 feet high.
This was no place for mistakes.
The Honey Badger had made it look easy.
And to make it worse, he'd taken the lead with only two miles of river to the finish.
Honey badger might have nature But we've got 450 horses.
He's just got gravity and water bringing him down.
I've got this psycho.
The next two miles were flat A chance for Stig and I to push the truck to its limits.
Oh, boy.
Oh, there we go.
Yeah.
There we go.
Now we're picking up speed.
This is where we make our move, right here.
We'd made it to the top of the mountain.
Now, we could finally start downhilling.
Oh, these switchbacks are insane! Yeah! The truck was demolishing the trail.
We descended at breakneck speed, and with two miles to go, we had regained the lead.
This is awesome.
But up ahead was a game-changer The gorge of death.
3 waterfalls totaling nearly 200 feet of raging white water.
In the world of extreme kayaking, only an elite handful dare attempt these falls.
The line between success and death is so thin, most top kayakers refuse to even go near them.
But the Honey Badger knew only one approach to this abyss Pure attack.
He had survived the first section.
But now, he faced the most dangerous Sliding down 90 feet of near-vertical rock in only a few inches of water.
The wrong line would leave him smashed to pieces on the rocks below.
The Honey Badger's crazy leap into the abyss had kept him in the lead.
We had a mile to go.
Backwoods Stig floored it.
It would be death or victory Or both.
This is it! We're getting close now! Oh! Look! There he is! We were neck and neck with 200 yards to go to the old mill.
It was too close to call.
Whoo! Yeah! We had done it.
Despite a superhuman effort from the Honey Badger, the truck was victorious.
I had triumphed over a man in a plastic tub and cheated death at the hands of backwoods Stig.
Victory felt good.
It may have been bad for mother nature, but it was the most fun I've ever had on one tank of gas.

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