Top Gear (US) s04e01 Episode Script

Coast to Coast

Ferrara: Now on "Top Gear" [ Tires screech .]
We take three supercars across the country Whee! See ya! On an epic race from sea to shining sea.
Oh, I'm gonna die in a tunnel! With over 46,000 miles of highways crisscrossing the nation, America is the perfect place for a road trip.
We were about to tackle the biggest one of all And race 3,000 miles from coast to coast.
Our starting point was lower Manhattan, and we decided to arrive in style.
Welcome to my town, boys.
Foust: This is cool.
Almost as cool as the car I picked.
We'll see about that.
For our cross-country race, we've each chosen something special.
Now, that is a supercar.
Wood: The $280,000 Lamborghini Gallardo LP570-4 Super Trofeo Stradale.
Now, since they are gonna replace the Gallardo in the next year or two, this is really its swan song.
That's why they threw everything at this.
570 horsepower This screaming v10.
Zero to 60 in 3.
2 seconds.
Ferrara: I'm concerned about you in a lambo, Rut.
Last time you were in it, you threw up on a country road at 8 miles an hour in front of sheep.
It was not the car's fault.
I've since seen a physician.
Everything's fine.
Foust: It's old technology now, though.
When you plug in real engineering, you can go zero to 60 in 3.
1 seconds with this The $320,000 McLaren MP-4 12-c Spider.
The most important thing about this car and the reason why I feel bad for the two of you This has got one of the most technologically advanced suspensions on the planet so that it's very comfortable on the road.
Perfect for a coast-to-coast road trip.
But you're missing the big picture.
We're going across the United States of America, and I will be doing it in this.
The $152,000 SRT Viper An American supercar.
8.
4-liter v10.
Zero to 60 3.
2.
Top speed 206 miles an hour.
Hey, is your life insurance paid up? I'll be fine.
Don't you worry about a thing.
I think this car is going to kill you.
But if you're gonna go out Why not in this mobile coffin? Blaze of glory.
Foust: Okay, we've all got cool cars.
Yes, we do.
- We've all got fast cars.
- Yes, we do.
- Of varying colors.
- Yes, we do.
What are we doing here? Well, let's see.
"You will now race your supercars "to Venice Beach in Los Angeles.
"Along the way, you'll complete a series of challenges.
"The loser will have to pick up the gas bill for all three cars.
" [ Cellphone vibrates .]
Oh, that's me.
Oh, oh, really? You getting a text right now? Are they calling you to set? You got to go to makeup? - Nice! - That's funny.
This is what we need to do, you idiots.
Look.
"Your first challenge is to pick up an authentic Amish hat.
" Amish hat.
Where do you find authentic Amish hats? From authentic Amish people.
Yeah, in Amish country.
- Pennsylvania.
- Let's roll.
Done.
Mount up.
Wood: The first stage of our race took us out of New York, across New Jersey, and into Pennsylvania.
But first, we had to cross the least supercar-friendly place in the country.
[ Horns blaring .]
Wood: Oh, that's a bu That's a bump! Okay.
Boy, if nobody hits us in one of these, it's gonna be a miracle.
The worst part about driving in New York City Everyone in New York City drives like Adam.
What?! What?! You don't see me moving?! Is that it?! [ Horn honks .]
Wood: I know.
It sounds terrible when you think about it like that.
[ Horns honking .]
After two hours of madness, we put New York City in our rearview mirrors and headed for Amish country.
[ Laughs .]
Whee! [ Inhales sharply .]
Yeah, it wants to run.
Oh, my gosh.
70 miles an hour.
It's like a breath of freaking fresh air.
Ferrara: In our 200-mile-an-hour cars, keeping to the speed limit felt like sacrilege.
So while it wasn't an official challenge, we decided to pull off the highway and race.
And I knew just the place for my Viper to attack.
This is what supercars are supposed to be fast.
[ Engine roaring .]
This is what I'm talking about.
Open runway.
Got traction control off, but I am gonna use the launch control becauseIt's F1 technology.
I mean, sometimes you just have to let the robots do the work, I guess.
Let's do this, guys.
You ready? [ Engines roaring .]
In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Now.
[ Tires screeching .]
Come on, baby.
Come on, come on, come on.
- Oh, my God! - Oh, where's he going?! I thought I had it! See ya! That thing is so fast.
The Viper is in a cloud of smoke! Are you guys kidding me?! I'm all over the place.
140! Goodbye, McLaren.
And the McLaren is The Victor! Ferrara: Oh, damn you, launch control! 140 and I lose! 148 miles an hour, and it was a demolishing! Oh, man! I was actually worried about the all-wheel drive on Rut's car.
Wood: What happened? Say, did NASA build the launch control for McLaren? Wow! It was an orange comet.
First blood may have been drawn by the high-tech McLaren, but I was in the newest generation of an American hot rod.
And I had side pipes.
A 3,000-mile road trip in a supercar.
You might be thinking, "a Viper I don't think that's such a good choice.
" And you'd be right.
It's loud.
The suspension's really stiff.
It's not really that comfortable.
It's horrendous on gas.
But it's a Viper.
I had to see what they did to it.
I had to see if they could tame the beast 'cause that's what they tried to do with this.
They put a nice interior in it.
They tried, you know, to civilize the animal.
I don't know if that's such a good idea.
You know, they tried it with King Kong, too.
He was on the Empire State Building swatting airplanes.
[ Engine revs .]
Wood: The reason I picked the Stradale is this is perhaps the most unique Lamborghini Gallardo ever built.
They've made over 13,000 of these with 25 different special editions.
But this one is special.
It's 150 pounds lighter than the standard car.
It's got that insanely huge wing on the back, carbon-fiber everything.
This is a rad car.
Foust: Rut and Adam's cars were so uncomfortable they may as well have been covered wagons.
But I'd chosen a car that wasn't just fast.
There's the select few.
There's just a couple out there that somehow have something worked out in the suspension and the dampening that actually makes them feel comfortable on the road Something that you feel like you get into and you're like, "oh, my God, I could live in this car.
" And the McLaren is one of them.
Foust: I may have been driving the ultimate in cutting-edge technology, but we were in a place where technology hasn't changed for 100 years.
And it was time for our first challenge.
All right.
The game is on.
Victory goes to the first man to bring back an Amish hat.
May the best man win.
Shalom.
[ Sarcastically .]
Yeah, that's Amish.
See ya! So I'm gonna have to convince an Amish person to give me their hat while I'm driving the devil's chariot.
That does not seem very likely.
Ferrara: This is ridiculous.
A hat.
What's next? [ Boston accent .]
I'll go up to Boston and get some chowder.
But you can't put it in a bowl.
You got to hold the chowder in your mouth and drive.
Drive with chowder in your mouth.
Wood: Tanner was the first to spot a local.
Oop.
Sorry about that.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Um, my name hold on.
I have an idea.
Hi.
Hi.
How are you? Quite a contraption you have there.
Yes.
Question for you.
I'm actually looking for a hat.
A hat? Is there a store or something that I can buy a hat? Oh, no.
They would be in individual shops, on farms, perhaps, or somebody's home.
And there'll be a bench there.
And they'll probably have hats of Reed.
Okay, do you think they'll let me buy a hat there? Probably not.
Meanwhile, I'd hit the Amish jackpot.
Wood: Hello, there, hi.
Good-looking hat you got there.
Big hat fan, myself.
So is there a farm or one of those places? Yeah, so you turn right there.
Yeah.
And then you go down till you come to the oak trees and then you turn left.
And then you go a quarter of a mile, and you turn right.
Okay.
And you'll get in there, and you'll find a birch tree.
I need I really need a hat One of your hats.
Could I convince you to just take a ride with me for a minute and trade me your hat? The McLaren goes where no McLaren has gone before.
Whoa! And Adam unleashes the Viper.
[ Laughs .]
Wood: We were racing supercars coast to coast, and we're now deep in Amish country in the middle of our first challenge Finding an authentic Amish hat.
A local had told Tanner the best place to find one was on a farm, but it wasn't as straightforward as he'd hoped.
This is looking very, very promising.
Bench.
Hats! Yes! Yes! This is it.
Hello? [ Door creaks .]
Hello? Not it.
Eating dinner in there.
Wood: Okay, are you buckled up? Yep.
I figure if we're gonna trade for that hat, this ought to be pretty exciting.
Okay.
You should hold on.
[ Tires screeching, engine roaring .]
Whoa.
It's a nice sound, isn't it? Yes, it is.
Ferrara: Here we go The Amish village.
There's got to be hats in the Amish village.
Look at that.
See? Yeah, they want to be separate from us, but there's a souvenir shop.
So they like money.
I think I'm in good shape.
Foust: There's a silo here.
And there is a bench.
Bench and hat.
Okay, how many benches with hats on them can there really be, right? It was late into the afternoon when the other two finally arrived.
Ferrara: Fellas.
Hey.
Oh, empty-handed, huh? No hats.
Down to two.
Au contraire.
I'm all in with that.
What is that? That is an Amish lady's hat.
Ooh, a bonnet! - Yeah.
- That is not an Amish hat.
- Sure, it is.
Look.
- No, it isn't.
Look how nice this looks.
Oh, that is nice on you, actually.
This is mennonite.
See the flowers? I don't care what it's made out of.
- It's an Amish lady's hat.
- No, he's right! Amish people would never wear something that brash.
It would only be white or black.
- Yeah.
- This is flashy? - You lose.
- Yeah, you lose.
He bought that in an Amish-themed store.
I got this from an Amish guy right out of the buggy, got the hat.
All right, look, you idiots, you bought yours.
He actually got it off a guy's head.
That's Thank you.
Thank you.
Feels like a win.
Let's roll.
Mennonite.
With a win under my belt, we headed west and set our cars free on the interstate.
Ferrara: I think this car represents America very well Brash, loud, uncompromising.
It's not pretentious at all.
It's not an mp-4 12-c.
It's not a super trofeo.
It's a Viper.
That's it.
If you don't get it with one word, you just don't get it.
Listen to this.
[ Engine roars .]
"Star-spangled banner," baby.
The miles rolled by as we crossed through Ohio and Indiana.
Our goal was to drive 800 miles before stopping for the night, and I was feeling every one of them.
Wood: The car is in perfect shape from today, but my body is worn out.
My left leg, now shorter, and my foot mostly asleep, my back battered from the bouncing and the lack of lumbar in these seats.
[ Yawning .]
Stay focused, Adam.
Excuse me.
I'm tired.
We've been driving a long time.
Let's find a place to stay.
I need a bed.
It was a serious case of sleep or die.
Then Tanner found a lovely place where both of those looked like an option.
Oh, this place looks awesome.
Ferrara: I think this is a Bates family property.
[ Chair creaking .]
Foust: I mean, how bad can it be, right? Let's just get rooms and get to sleep.
Ferrara: We may have found a bed, but securing $1 million worth of cars overnight in a sketchy neighborhood required some thought.
Start thinking of a plan, will you? Foust: Let's see what it's like in there.
[ Insects buzzing loudly .]
I have a plan.
I'm sleeping in my car.
I'm not sleeping in my car.
Okay.
I got a plan.
I'm going old-school right now.
What are you thinking? The old fuel-injection-fuse trick.
Oh, you're gonna pull a couple fuses.
It won't start.
Sure.
It looks pretty important.
Good night.
I need to find something.
Okay.
It smells bad in here.
I just want it to be tomorrow.
Smells like old cigarettes and dead urine.
By dawn, we were back on the road.
Our cars had survived the night, but as we left Illinois and headed into Missouri, the heavens opened and transformed freeway driving into near-hydroplaning.
Wood: Normally, I don't mind driving in the rain, but normally I'm not in a $277,000 car that I borrowed from Lamborghini.
I mean, yeah, it's all-wheel-drive, which is how they sell Audis and Subarus up north.
"Oh, it'll be safer.
" They don't give you 570 horsepower for those.
I know Adam's scared because I've seen him drive when it's not raining, so I can't see anything.
I'm just locked on the back of Rut's taillights.
That's all I got.
This thing is so low Semi trucks go by pssh! You just get water all over you.
And the wipers aren't moving fast enough.
But at least my back hurts.
Rut and I may have been white-knuckling it, but rain man seemed to be enjoying himself.
I kind of like driving in the rain.
It's like have you ever seen those wind-tunnel tests where they have the smoke, where you can see exactly where all the turbulence is and everything and aerodynamics of the car? Vortices.
He's gonna say "vortices.
" Ferrara: How does that compare to this? Well, you can see the rain ripping around in little vortices, ripping off the mirrors and off the windows and off the back of the car.
It's freaking awesome.
It's like we're sitting in a wind tunnel.
Yeah, there's definitely some hot air blowing in my direction from that McLaren.
Despite the rain, we were making good time.
Well, with one minor delay.
[ Sirens wailing .]
Do me a favor, boys.
Don't use my real name.
[ Laughs .]
Morning.
Hey, how's it going? Good, sir, how you doing? All right.
What's going on? After assuring the po-po that Tanner was old enough to drive, we were on our way.
But as soon as we got back on the highway, we had another interruption.
Foust: Text just came in.
This could be our next challenge.
You want to pull over and read it? Wood: Yeah, following you.
What's the text say? "Your next challenge is to take a photograph of your car "on the 50-yard line of a football stadium.
Biggest stadium wins.
" [ Laughs .]
Okay.
Now, do you guys know what football is? May the best man win.
Every man for himself.
Let's do it.
Let's meet back up in a couple of hours.
Move 'em out! Foust: I may not know that much about football, but I did have some local knowledge.
You know, my grandfather used to play trumpet Big band around here.
I remember him always talking about football games.
Missouri State.
Oh, University of Missouri's around here, actually.
Oh, crap.
It's right here.
Where are these chumps going? All right, gentlemen, I'm just gonna hop off here and grab myself an energy drink.
Getting a little [ Yawns .]
Getting a little tired.
Anyway, I'll catch up to you.
See ya.
Suckers.
Ferrara: Go ahead, Tanner.
Kansas City's this way, which means Arrowhead stadium.
A couple problems I'm gonna see right off the bat One I hope the place is open.
Two I hope they don't have a lot of security.
And three I have to get the Viper on the 50-yard line.
Other than that, this challenge is all mine.
What I need to do is basically just hide here behind Adam.
He doesn't use his mirrors, so I could be here all day.
He'd have no idea that I'm back here.
I assume that he will take me to some large football-playing stadium of a team whose name I probably don't know in a city I don't know.
And then I'll just scoot right around him 'cause the car's faster than the Viper, and get my picture on the 50-yard line.
That's the second challenge I win.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
Missouri Tigers.
God.
That is a huge stadium.
Come on.
Here goes nothing.
All right, how do we get in there? Now I just had to find a way onto the field before security found me.
I think the key right now is I maintain a low, low profile.
I'm gonna drop the rear wing here.
I don't see a gate, though.
All right, we're at field level, officially.
Wait, wait, what's this? This is too perfect.
Success! Yes.
Whoa! No.
Foust: We were on day 3 of our supercar race across America.
The loser would have to pay the entire trip's gas bill.
Now we were in Colorado competing to see who could go fastest through the legendary Eisenhower Tunnel.
I'd beat Rut with a speed of 165, but now it was Adam's turn.
There's 100.
[ Laughs .]
120! Oh, man, is this thing bouncing! Oh, I'm gonna die in a tunnel! 140! Oh, my God, is that fast! [ Laughs .]
God bless America! He's alive! Unbelievable! Hey.
He lived.
You owe me 20 bucks.
How fast did you go, big guy? [ Laughs .]
Last time I looked down, it was 147.
147?! It was all over the place.
In a Viper in that?! Your new nickname's gonna be "death wish.
" Wood: While Adam's survival was a victory in itself, Tanner went the fastest, and the competition was now tied.
But there was no time to stop and admire the scenery.
With 1,000 miles still to go, we had to hustle down out of the mountains and cross the deserts.
Wood: Once you get past Colorado, things speed up quickly.
Utah one of my favorite states to drive in So beautiful, it just rolls on forever it feels like.
Then you're just blasting through the deserts, and we're in Cali.
Foust: Utah's got some good news and some bad news.
The good news is you can marry as many people as you want At the same time.
The bad news is most restaurants don't even serve beer.
Foust: Mile after mile, through the scorching deserts of Utah and Arizona, our supercars devour the barren wilderness.
After pushing hard into the night, we got a hotel in Nevada and rested up.
The next morning marked the final day of our journey.
Ferrara: This is the homestretch, fellas.
Wood: Venice Beach or bust.
Let's do it.
Wood: With less than 500 miles between us and Venice, we were feeling good.
Finally, in the middle of the afternoon, Los Angeles was in our sights.
Wood: We made it to California.
Nearly 3,000 miles later, I'm tired, I miss my family, but I have fallen in love with this car.
Ferrara: Srt did a good job with this car.
It's still a Viper.
It is still powerful.
It is still mean.
It is still dangerous.
This is a car you must respect or it'll kill you.
Foust: I have to say, the more I drive this car, the more I like it.
And I don't think there are very many supercars out there that I could say the same thing for.
Incredible.
Ferrara: This has been an epic journey, fellas.
I'm glad I made it with you, but I'm beginning to hallucinate.
I'm ready to get out and sit on the beach.
Foust: But my dream of sunny beaches and cocktails would have to wait.
[ Cellphone dings .]
Oh, hold on, guys, I'm I'm getting a text.
I thought we were done.
We're here.
Since we'd each won a challenge, whoever lost this one would have to pay the entire trip's gas bill, which was now over $2,000.
Ferrara: What do we got, Tanner? Foust: Okay, says, "for your last challenge, you must collect a photo of a celebrity in your car.
" First to Venice Pier with their photo wins.
See you, losers.
Children.
Two idiots heading west.
See, here's the trick to winning this Work smarter, not harder.
I'm gonna sit here, make a phone call, and have every hello.
Hey, Denis.
It's Adam.
How you doing? Good.
Good.
Listen, I need you to help me out.
Wood: My plan to find a celebrity was simple Follow the experts.
Woman: Second house on the right here Kat Von D lives right here on the right.
Wood: Oh, that's Kat Von D's house.
She could tattoo me any day.
All I needed was to find one who was at home.
Meanwhile, Tanner's plan was to find celebrities at movie premieres, but he was running into a few difficulties, mainly based on it being a Monday afternoon.
There is absolutely nothing.
Why not? Your kid's Bar Mitzvah? Your last name is Leary.
Foust: Where are the celebrities? Woman: Laurence Fishburne coming up next, his home.
Ooh, Laurence Fishburne.
He'd be a good one.
I have been driving around for ooh, shoot! Almost an hour.
I don't recognize anyone.
Wait a minute.
I do recognize her.
We were completing the final challenge in our 3,000-mile race across America, getting a picture of a celebrity in our car, then racing to Venice Beach.
Whoever lost had a $2,000 gas bill coming their way.
Rutledge had followed a tour bus straight to Kat Von D's house.
[ Telephone ringing .]
Come on.
I got to get to Venice.
"For sa" Ohh.
Maybe she moved.
[ Ringing continues .]
Hey, Ray.
It's Adam.
How you doing? Meanwhile, Adam still couldn't convince any of his famous friends to help him out.
I'm having a reach-around to No, I'm reaching out Not a reach I didn't say "reach-around.
" I'm in a bad spot.
I, on the other hand, had found a bona-fide Hollywood legend.
Look at that in the car.
I'm gonna do a selfie.
Having struck out at Kat Von D's, Rut moved on to Laurence Fishburne's house.
Laurence: Hello? Hello? Who is this? Hey, I was wondering if you would come take a picture in my car with me.
I can't believe this.
No celebrity.
I struck out.
Ferrara: My only hope was the other guys struck out, too.
If they did and I got to venice first, I'd win.
Come on, people.
Come on! Foust: We made it through Hollywood.
Made it onto the 10.
Straight shot to Venice now.
Whoo! Ferrara: Come on.
I'm gonna spend $2,000 in gas.
Oh, yellow light.
That's perfect! Thank you.
Foust: Come on! Come on! Wait a minute.
Is that who I think it is? Venice sign right there.
Here we are Venice Beach! Yeah, I don't see anybody! No! No! Yeah.
Yeah.
Guess who's here first This guy.
Are you kidding me? You didn't get anybody.
What are you talking about? You didn't get anybody.
That's why you got here so fast.
Do you not remember the Amish? I am a people person.
Oh, hello.
It's the gas-purchasing guy in the Viper.
That's the best thing you can come up with? That's the best thing.
Fellas.
My new best friend.
It is nice to see you coming in last.
That's a good feeling.
It means I'm not paying for gas.
I'm guessing like $700 is what I racked up.
That's conservative.
- Maybe $800.
- Yeah.
All right, well, where's your picture? Wood: Oh, I got a great one.
This is Laurence Fishburne S gate.
It's a driveway.
No, but he was on the speaker.
That's his house.
That's you in front of a gate.
But that's an extension of him, and the car's there, so we're all together.
This doesn't count.
You could have taken that anywhere.
What do you got? I got a human being.
Marilyn Monroe.
- Look at that.
- That doesn't count.
She's dead.
That's not her.
At least Fishburne's alive.
You lose.
What do you got? I don't need a picture.
I have him.
[ Grunts .]
Wood: That's Dolph Lundgren! Yeah! No way! Are you kidding? You need a bigger car, dude.
I understand.
Thanks, pal.
Pleasure.
Pleasure.
See you in the movies.
Take care.
See you soon.
See you paying the bill! That is awesome! Goodness gracious! [ Laughs .]
$2,000 it cost me.
2,000 bucks! [ Laughs .]
Who wants a Margarita? I'm in.
You're buying those, too.
I'm gonna buy some margaritas.

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