Top Gear (US) s04e03 Episode Script
Off Road Racing
1 Now on "Top Gear" Tanner invites us to the Pacific Northwest to try our hand at rally driving.
Come on, "Rut"! Get out of my way! Oh! Ohh! And we challenge him to an epic race.
You cheated.
Here in the U.
S.
, when most people think of racing, they think of sports like NASCAR or motocross, but not me.
I think of this.
Rally racing.
Rally racing involves driving modified production cars at high speed along narrow dirt roads in the wilderness with no safety barriers to stop you from crashing into, well, just about anything.
Since Rut and Adam are constantly ragging on my favorite sport as being easy, I decided to invite them to rally school, just outside Seattle, to prove them wrong.
Yeah, rally's a big deal in Europe.
It's not super-popular here, but maybe it's just 'cause it looks like you're just driving around, lost on a dirt road, going really fast.
Yeah, it's just a bunch of Europeans in small cars driving through the woods with a bunch of other drunk Europeans standing too close, watching them.
Speaking of little things flying through the woods Huh? Don't you guys do this in stadiums? No, that's rally cross, which came from rally racing.
But rally racing's one of the original motorsports ever.
Like, it's a massive sport.
Nascar big sport.
Sure.
Rally has more than 10 times the viewership every race as nascar.
And the reason for that is it's badass.
From a driving standpoint Mm-hmm.
There's hardly any other sport that's as challenging or as much fun.
Well, I'll be honest.
Really doesn't look that hard.
It's really just driving fast on dirt roads.
I mean, it's basically what everyone in the South has grown up doing all their lives.
Yeah, 'cause there's no pavement.
True.
I mean, eventually, pavers are gonna make to the South, but I think it's harder than you think.
You've said that line many times, haven't you? Really? Yeah.
Okay.
Grab your helmets, guys.
We're gonna try this out.
Rally racing may look easy to the untrained eye, but it requires intense focus and precision.
The cars may appear to be regular street cars, but they're actually very far from it.
In even the most basic rally cars, the interiors are stripped, there's a steel roll cage, and the engines are tuned to crazy horsepower numbers.
Plus, there's a hydraulic handbrake to lock up the back tires for those hairpin turns.
I set up a simple course to give Adam and Rut a taste of what rally is all about.
Here we go.
All right.
Very simple.
Yeah.
He's just accelerating on gravel.
Got a little bit of a yump for them.
Get all up to speed for the chicane right after it.
Okay, that's kind of cool.
That yeah.
Then a big hairpin turn.
I can do that in my sleep, though.
That's nothing.
Wag the tail both ways.
Oh, my God.
Oh, the all-wheel drive is so fun.
Then, you got to kick it a little sideways over the jump.
Ohh.
Oh, this is so fun.
Come on, old Subaru! Go, go, go, go, go! He's a good driver, but did you see the hair? Huh? Now, this is a track that is just the basics.
This is nothing like 100 miles an hour in the forest around a turn you don't know.
I mean, it takes practice.
Listen.
Yeah.
You've been doing this, what, most of your life, and sadly, this is all you really have in the world, which is fine.
But if we had some training, I think we could take you on in a race.
I mean, we're at Dirtfish.
It seems logical.
How much time do we need to practice? I don't know.
24 hours.
24 hours? That's all you need? Okay.
We have a race in 24 hours.
Yeah.
I love it.
I love it.
I'm in.
Enjoy.
Have fun.
Okay.
Good luck.
Do you mean that "good luck," or is that like, "good luck.
I'm driving off.
" No, I didn't mean it.
- Okay.
- He didn't mean it.
Cakewalk.
Could beat him at anything.
Unfortunately, our first lesson was not in a car.
Welcome to Dirtfish rally school.
The sport of rally actually started back in 1894 with the first event held in France.
All right? Sadly, neither French nor history were our strong suits.
Using the weight in the car.
And then, it got even more complicated.
We really want to rely on rotation.
And how we're gonna do that is with weight transfer.
Have you guys ever heard of this before? Yeah.
I quit eating fried stuff, and I've had a weight transfer myself.
It usually happens when he walks downstairs.
Coffee.
That'll do it.
This wasn't getting us anywhere, and we had less than 24 hours to prepare for our race against Tanner.
And looking through the corner.
Right? Let's get out of here.
So we decided to take matters into our own hands.
We're gonna keep going around on this until I feel that you're safe enough that we don't ride any cars off and that you're looking far enough through your turns.
If Adam and I were gonna stand a chance of even completing tomorrow's race, we needed to learn fast, so I texted an old buddy for help.
Bucky Lasek is a skateboarding legend and one of the latest extreme-sports champions to embrace rally.
Now, he's one of Tanner's rivals, so if anyone could teach us how to be competitive, it was him.
Allow me to introduce my friend, Bucky Lasek, the king of vert, the baddest skateboarder to ever live.
What is up? Dude, I'm glad you got my text.
- Happy to help.
- Right on.
Thanks for coming, man.
I was wondering if you could give us a few pointers.
You know, help us not kill ourselves in these.
Well, this is a perfect place to come.
You guys are looking a little rusty, so let's go have some fun, and let's get you guys in a car.
- Sounds good.
- Let's do that.
I don't know if I look rusty.
You smell rusty.
When do I get one of those cool hats? Bucky had set up a course through the woods.
We were getting down to some serious training.
Since we had wasted an hour in class, we had no time to lose.
- Oh, here we go.
- This is it.
Now, bucky, you race an s.
T.
I.
For Subaru, right? So, what do I need to know here? Basically, this is like the same car that I race.
Mine is 300 horsepower, and it's got a six-speed transmission and gravel tires.
So, what are you gonna do, just throw us in there, drive us around, tell us what to do? I'm not gonna do anything.
You are.
And I'm just basically gonna rely on this cage to save me.
Perfect.
See, you got a plan.
Buckle up real tight.
- I heard that.
- Okay.
So, the first thing bucky had to do was assess our strengths and weaknesses.
Okay.
Well, weaknesses.
I'll be your navigator.
Okay.
Long right.
Long right.
Brake, brake, brake, brake, brake, brake.
You get the insurance? Which way you going? - That was the hairpin, right? - Yeah.
All right, right here.
A hard brake and point it.
Point it now.
Oh, up.
Too early.
Too early.
- So, that wasn't good.
- Yeah.
That was pretty scary.
Fortunately, I wasn't the only one with a lot to learn.
All right, gas, gas, gas, gas, gas.
Okay.
This is faster.
I'm gonna oh, hey.
Whoa, too big, too big, too big, too big, too big, too big, too big, too big.
All right, a little Scandinavian flick right here.
Oh, sure.
Oh, yeah.
That's something you do in the car, not something you order on a menu.
Brake hard.
Okay.
Stop.
Stop.
How'd I do? You okay? You all there? I think I'm okay.
Coming up, while we continue our training, Tanner competes in a genuine rally race.
Whoo-hoo! And later, we meet back up to try and beat him in the ultimate showdown.
We were in Washington state when Adam and Rutledge had foolishly challenged me to a rally race.
While X-Game superstar Bucky Lasek was trying to hone their nonexistent skills, I headed South to one of the biggest rally races on the North American circuit.
The nameless rally is raced over 120 miles of rough logging roads and forest trails.
In this ultimate test of machine versus mother nature, drivers and their copilots risk life and limb as they navigate some of the toughest driving terrain on earth.
I've made a call and arranged to race part of it.
But to make things interesting, I'd be driving something a little different.
What makes a great rally-racing car to me? Well, it's got to be insanely quick.
It's got to have great braking, great handling.
It's got to have crazy traction on just about any surface All things most people wouldn't associate with a Mini.
This is the $25,000 Paceman all 4 Cooper S.
It's based on the countryman, which is the S.
U.
V.
-sized Mini that's not really "mini" in any way.
Its 1.
6-liter turbo has 184 horsepower, does a top speed of 134 miles an hour, and it'll do zero to 60 in around 8 seconds.
Nothing too spectacular, but that may be because it's pulling over 3,200 pounds of weight around.
When you think of Mini these days, really, you tend to think of who drives them.
Sure, they're popular with women, men that wave, and miniature versions of Rutledge, hipsters tight jeans, you know, that sort of thing.
But what you might be surprised to learn is that Mini actually is a legendary name in the world of racing, especially in the world of rally.
Back in the '60s, the original Mini was tuned up by legendary formula one driver and car builder John Cooper.
The result was a car that took the racing world by storm, winning three Monte Carlo rallies and becoming a motorsport legend in Europe.
What made the original Mini so good was its pure simplicity.
It was impossibly lightweight and nimble.
It was like a golf cart with windows and a roof and a big engine.
And unfortunately, in order to sell to the gadget-rich hipsters, this car is incredibly complex.
You got dynamic stability control.
You got traction control, A.
B.
S.
You've got a "sport" button here the Mini calls the "yippee" button.
So, my question is this.
Has the 2013 Mini Paceman sacrificed its proud rally heritage in favor of high-tech safety features and trendy-sounding driving modes? To find out, we're gonna kick its ass.
There are very few motorsports that are as hard on their vehicles and their drivers as rally racing.
Rally cars have very specialized suspension, rally tires, and racing brakes.
They have roll cages that are so robust, racers can actually survive crashes upwards of 100 miles an hour into the forest.
This mini paceman has no roll cage.
It does have seven airbags, but apart from two seats and some seatbelts I added for safety, it is bone stock.
Your hairdresser probably drives one.
So, if it can survive what is coming up next, I, for one, will be very impressed.
To help keep me alive, I'd arranged to meet up with my long-time co-driver.
- Chrissie Beavis.
- Oh, hi, there.
All rally drivers have a co-driver.
Their job is to scout the course and make what are called pace notes.
Chrissie would read these to me through an intercom so I'd know what was coming around each blind corner.
- Nice-looking rides.
- Yeah.
Lots of new stuff here.
Nothing quite as new as ours, though.
Yeah.
Do you want to check it out? All right.
What is it? I'll show you.
Have fun.
Good luck.
Thanks.
All right.
Here it is.
2013 Paceman.
Cooper s.
All4.
An all4, huh? Yeah.
It's all-wheel drive.
It's got to weigh a lot.
3,200 pounds.
I mean, she's a big girl.
Street tires? Street tires.
Yeah, they're essentially like racing slicks on gravel.
It's not safe is the one thing.
It doesn't have a roll cage, obviously.
Why don't we get buckled up? We'll do that.
It's gonna be really fun.
Every rally race is made up of a series of stages, and this one was 11 miles long.
The idea is to get the fastest time possible for each stage.
Then, these are added up for your final time.
Usually, cars leave with a one-minute gap between them.
Normally, that's enough to ensure that no one catches you, but normally, you're not in a stock Mini that's about at home in the woods as an eskimo eating Habanero peppers in the Sahara at midday.
You know, the closer you get to actually driving on the stage, the more you realize that a street car is not suited for this type of work.
Whatever.
Let's just go 100 miles an hour through the trees.
Sounds like a good idea.
15 seconds.
All right.
I'm gonna go ahead and and go into the manual mode of my automatic transmission, again, highlighting how this is not a good idea.
10 seconds.
Okay.
Here we go.
And we're off.
Five plus.
Right six.
Don't crash.
Pretty good acceleration for street tires.
Got such good potential.
Stability control is freaking out.
These are the turns the car should be amazing, but the D.
S.
C.
just cuts in.
There, stay right.
It doesn't let you slide at all.
It's really ridiculous.
Come on, you bastard.
Go, go, go, go.
It feels like it wants to change direction really quick.
Open, so stay left.
But there's just so much stuff holding it back.
The D.
S.
C.
won't let it turn direction.
The electric steering is kind of funky.
There's so much kind of going for this car but also so many crutches for daily driving that just keep it from putting in a good stage time.
Five miles in, and the mini was showing none of its rally heritage.
In fact, trying to drive this car on this course this fast was downright dangerous.
Come on.
What was that? Uh-oh.
(bleep) Sounded like the back of the car just fell off.
Oh, the D.
S.
C.
is broken.
Whoo-hoo! We can finally slide it.
Yeah! There we go.
That's what a car should feel like.
That's way better, yeah.
Right? Six miles in, and with the dynamic stability control broken, the Paceman was finally free from the electronic safety features that had been holding it back.
All right, hammer down now.
This was more like it.
Power! Go, go, go, go, go! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! That was close.
Caution bump.
Oh-ho-ho.
It's a big landing.
It does have the DNA of that old mini in there somewhere.
There's something in its nature that wants to go faster on these roads.
It turns so quick.
It slides into the corners really nicely.
It's got a rally car in it.
It's got the DNA.
It's just got the electronics messing everything up.
Four plus over crest.
120 through the finish.
And as for the end result, well, it's safe to say I didn't finish on the podium, but I did finish fifth and beat 28 racecars, which is pretty impressive for a street car on street tires.
And as for the Paceman Cooper S all4, well, it's fun.
It is a lot of fun, like the original Mini.
There you go.
Looking good.
With our race against Tanner approaching, we both step up our game.
That was way better.
Adam and I had met Tanner in Washington state to learn about rally racing and ended up challenging him to a race.
While he had been off competing in an actual rally Whoa, too big, too big, too big, too big.
We were training hard with a little help from professional racecar driver Bucky Lasek.
So, that wasn't good.
Yeah.
So far, it hadn't gone very well, but things were beginning to look up.
You have to get used - to how the car slows itself down sideways.
- Uh-huh.
- If you try to drive it like normal braking - Uh-huh.
You'll be way too slow.
And once you turn it sideways, the car brakes naturally because it's sliding sideways on the wheels.
All right, just give it what you got, - and I'll chime in.
- Sounds good.
Always keep your left foot on the brake.
Brake, brake.
- Here we go.
- There you go.
Keep it straight.
Point it.
Go.
Brake.
Point it.
Yeah.
There you go.
Looking good.
- Hard brake left.
- Hard brake left.
Gonna give you a little handbrake.
There you go.
There you go.
Go, go, go, go.
Perfect.
Okay, this time, you do the handbrake.
Okay.
All right.
Brake.
Clutch in.
First gear.
Go.
Nice.
Brake.
Turn in, turn in, turn in, turn in.
Yeah, baby! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Adam had gotten the hang of it.
Now it was my turn.
- Okay, you ready? - Yes, sir.
All right, we got a hairpin right here.
Brake.
Brake.
Turn.
Point.
Go.
Gas, gas, gas, gas, gas.
Perfect.
That was way better.
Brake.
Handbrake.
Up.
There you go.
You got to give it a little bit more handbrake next time.
Brake.
Point it.
There you go.
Perfect.
So far, so good.
That was good.
We had made a huge improvement, but we needed to learn to drive on our own in a race if we were to have any chance against Tanner.
Basically, I want to create a real-life situation of being chased, something to kind of get you motivated.
Motivated, focused.
Cool.
You guys watch National Geographic? - I mean, I've read it.
- Yeah.
I be the coyote, and you guys be the rabbit.
You're gonna chase us? I'll give you a 30-second head start.
Two laps.
So, let's get this straight.
Two laps, 30-second head start.
If you catch us, we lose.
If I catch you, I'm gonna eat you alive.
Okay, let's do it.
You're on.
- You got real nice hair.
- Yeah.
You look like a killer musketeer.
Chicken (bleep) Man.
All our training had come down to this.
Could we fend off Bucky for two 1 1/2-mile laps? Succeed, and we'd have proven that Tanner's favorite sport was a cake walk.
I guess this is a lot like being chased by a bear.
You don't have to be quicker than the bear.
You just got to be quicker than the guy in front of you.
I mean, the difference is Bucky's a professional, and we are definitely not.
You ready? All right, big daddy.
We just got to keep him off us for two laps.
All right, coyote.
Here we go.
In three, two, one.
Go.
Okay, now we're off.
Come on, Rut, get out of my way! The coyote is coming! Oh, double pendulum.
Yes.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh, he's a little sideways there.
All right.
Let's go here.
Down on the brake hard.
Yes.
Okay.
Just like that.
Come on, Rut.
Give me an opening.
Oh! Oh! 30 seconds.
I don't see him yet.
This is intense right now.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm flying.
We hadn't even completed the first lap when Bucky erased our lead.
Oh, this ain't good.
That's one lap down.
There it is.
Brake.
Steer.
Brake.
Gas.
Brake.
Steer.
Okay, now we're flying.
Come on, Rut! I got a coyote on my ass! Oh, he's gonna catch me! Oh, man! Oh, Bucky got around Adam.
Oh, he's on my tail.
Adam and I were training hard for a race against Tanner.
We'd made good progress, and were now in the final stage, trying to stop pro driver Bucky Lasek from overtaking us on a two-lap course.
He'd already passed Adam Oh, man! And now he was coming for me.
Oh, he's on my tail.
Hold him off.
Hold him off! Oh (bleep) Oh, yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
He's breathing down my neck.
Oh.
Oh! Oh! He's got me on the inside! Damn it! The coyote had defeated us.
Maybe there was more to rally racing than we'd thought.
That didn't go very well.
That sucked.
Sorry, guys.
Coyote wins.
To have any chance against race boy, we'd have to come up with a plan and fast.
Okay, well, now what? I got an idea.
Overnight, we perfected our plan.
Phase one, location Hells Canyon on the Snake river on the other side of Washington state.
I told "tiny dancer" to meet us there at noon, where I had Rut waiting with phase two.
What the hell? What the hell is that? Yeah.
What? Is that the new Vanquish? This yeah, it is.
And what a car it was.
The new flagship Aston Martin 6-liter v-12, 565 horsepower, zero to 60 in just over 4 seconds.
Tanner was in trouble.
That's not even a rally car, my friend.
What's going on? Who said it had to be a rally car? What's this? Well, that was It was kind of the whole flavor of the race, right? A rally car.
That's an actual rally car.
That's probably a $500,000 racecar.
This looks very similar to the cars we had at Dirtfish.
"Very similar.
" Plus another $300,000, $400,000.
Rut was right.
This was the Subaru rally team U.
S.
A.
's actual car, fresh from a rally America race in Pennsylvania.
With 350 brake horsepower, 480 foot-pounds of torque, and zero to 60 in 4 seconds on gravel, Rut should have been pleading for mercy.
But instead, he seemed kind of confident.
How are you gonna go off-road with that thing? Who said we had to go off-road? We just said I mean, how fast does that even go, like 100 and 83 miles an hour.
What? Yeah, how fast does that go? Not 183 miles an hour.
You cheated.
If you can show up in this, what the hell is Adam gonna be in? Oh, my goodness.
This was a big miscommunication.
Phase two of our master plan had Tanner rattled.
Time for phase three To beat him into submission.
Wow.
That looks incredibly dangerous.
Huh? You brought a boat? This is total insanity.
Actually, it's pure insanity.
This orange beast had a jet turbine from a huey helicopter pumping out an insane 1,400 horsepower, and it does 120 on the water.
And it's gonna destroy you in this and you in your little suit.
Are you driving or riding? I wanted to drive.
Turns out I'm riding.
Oh.
You're dead.
Not necessarily.
We have officially derailed, gentlemen.
This isn't a race.
It's a race.
We never said "rally race.
" This is ridiculous.
Our master plan clearly had Tanner worried, but we were gonna make it fairish.
While our start and finish lines were the same, we'd all take different routes to get there.
With no obstacles or tight turns, my boat would have to travel the furthest, 13 miles.
With twisty roads slowing Rut's Aston down, he would have to cover 10 miles.
As for captain rally-pants, with most of his off-road course littered with hairpin turns and Mountain drop-offs, he'd have to go the shortest distance, just six miles to the finish at the old grain tower.
Mountain or not, this goes zero to 60 in 4 seconds on the dirt.
Did you know that? Did you know that? Later.
See ya.
The start line was four miles away.
Time to mount up.
My driver was world-champion jet-boat racer Ryan Rogers.
He was as orange as his boat and just as crazy.
Is this a roll cage? It's full chrome-alloy roll cage.
Thank God it's full of chrome.
It's a boat.
But if we ever, you know, had an accident, and we hit the bank and rolled up the bank, we need to be fully protected.
I'm sorry.
"Hit the bank"? If we do hit the bank.
Have you ever hit the bank before? No, not yet.
While I was contemplating what was probably my last moments on earth Rut was living it up in the lap of British automotive luxury.
This might look like every other Aston Martin, but I promise you it's not.
This is the tuxedo of supercars.
The Vanquish is the most technically advanced car Aston Martin has ever made, and this one is a downright steal at just 310 grand.
It's got three driving modes Normal, sport, and track.
I'm just riding around in normal mode.
It's stunning.
It's elegant.
You put it in sport It feels like you've definitely done a deal with the devil.
Track mode.
You have clearly sold your soul.
You ready to go? Let's do it, big daddy.
So, now what are we doing? Starting it.
Wow, that's hot.
That's really hot.
I don't think that's a good sign.
All right.
Go get lined up at the start.
Got the ambulance in place.
Okay.
Here we go.
This was it Our best chance ever to beat Tanner at his own game.
I just need to be fast.
I need to stay in front of Tanner, and I need to stay in front of that boat.
Why is he pointed the wrong way? Hey, Adam.
It's that way.
Yeah, yeah, we got it covered.
Don't worry about me.
He has a point.
All right, here we go.
I mean, what we're about to do is very dangerous.
You ready, Tanner? Ready here.
Ready, Adam? Hell, yeah! Here we go in five, four, three, two, one.
Go! Oh, here we go! Oh, I'm pulling it! Oh, yeah! Come on! Aah! Wait! I'm not ready.
I still got Oh (bleep) It's neck and neck.
Oh, no! The Aston is quick.
It is absolutely neck and neck.
So long, Tanner.
Whoa! There it is! This is fast.
No! No! Holy crap! It's just eating this pavement alive.
Holy (bleep) Should my balls be in my throat? Wait till we step on it.
How fast we going now? That's that's good.
Yeah.
That's good enough.
Rut and Adam may have been ahead, but now, a mile and a half into the race, it was my chance to get back into the game.
In his Vanquish, Rut had to follow the paved road as it cut inland, while I could take the direct route.
Yeah! Oh, my God.
This thing is just demolishing this road.
This is a treacherous turn.
I got to be honest.
Without Chrissie, this is incredibly dangerous.
Whoa.
The problem is you don't realize how much speed you're actually carrying until it's too late.
Okay.
Oh, look at that.
Man, it is so nice into turns.
All right, that's 130 right there.
Yeah, this is a 35 limit, for the record.
Meanwhile, back in the boat, we were already four miles in, and there was no sign of the other two.
Wow! But then Look, it's Tanner.
He's caught up to us.
There's the boat right there.
Oh, my God, it's so quick! Come on, baby.
It is absolutely neck and neck! I think I got him! No, I don't! He is gone! Oh, my gosh! Look at the speed on that boat! Are you kidding me?! Going 115.
Aah! 115 miles per hour! Take that, rally boy! I don't think I can do it and keep this on the road.
I'm over 100 miles an hour, and he's still pulling away from me.
Good God! I might have lost out to Adam on the straightaway, but he still had seven miles to go to the finish line Okay, here's my turnoff.
This is where I leave the river.
While I only had three as I jammed my shortcut over the Mountain.
The downside was that to have any chance of winning, I'd have to average 80 miles an hour on loose gravel.
Now we're climbing the hill.
Climb, baby, climb.
Oh, my gosh.
This is steep.
Oh, this is a tight turn.
Oh, my gosh.
It is dangerous.
Good God! We were in the middle of an epic race on pavement, water, and gravel.
Whoa! At the halfway point, I was trailing Rutledge and Adam.
But now was my chance to reel them back in using my shortcut over the mountains As long as I didn't fly off a cliff.
Oh, my gosh.
It is dangerous.
Good God! Whoo! That was close.
Oh, she is bouncing all over the place.
Ohh! He's getting scared.
It's hard to describe how dangerous and fun this is all at the same time.
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Almost to the top.
Come on, baby! Ave Maria jungfrau mild Wow.
115.
120.
Oh, there's a cattle guard! With only three miles to go, the pavement rejoined the river, and there was no sign of Adam anywhere.
Oh, my gosh.
We are flying now.
Lucy, I'm home! Oh, my gosh! That's so fast! Did you miss me? Oh, that boat is fast! All right, blind hill.
Wow.
We are flying.
Oh! Oh, come on! I was going 90 miles an hour into the corners, but the boat had left me in its wake.
Ah, ha ha ha! So long, big girl! With just a mile and a half to go, my boat was hitting 120 miles an hour.
There was no way Rut could keep up.
There it is! There's the finish.
We won! Yes! Yes! Our plan had worked.
I had beaten Tanner.
Now all Rut had to do was come in second to put the final nail in his tiny coffin.
Oh, here we go.
Now I'm cooking.
All right.
Coming to the end of the gravel now.
All right, I see the road.
Oh, what was that? Is that Tanner? Oh, it's like "Days of Thunder"! I can't see anything! Oh, gosh! Whoo! That was close.
Oh, my God.
That was ridiculous.
Where did Tanner come from? Now the speed's getting up there.
It's about as fast as this car will ever go.
Now, he knows I've got the faster car.
He's trying to take me on the inside.
Not gonna happen.
Oh, I've got enough room.
I've got enough room.
There's no way I'm letting him by.
Ohh, here it is.
I mean, I'm not gonna block him.
That would be cheating.
Ohh, come on! No cheaters here.
No way.
Come on! Oh.
Oh, the windshield's just getting pelted.
Oh (bleep) That's the windshield.
There's the finish! Come on, baby! 130 miles an hour, baby! Almost there! Come on! Yeah! Ohh! Whoo-hoo! Ugh, Tanner! Yeah.
Real cool, man.
Glad you boys could make it.
My eyes are watering because that was awesome.
Yeah.
That's really nice.
A win's a win.
I feel like blocking is cheating.
Look, it's a race.
How do we know that's Adam? It's oh, it is.
I guess he lived.
- That's good news.
- Yeah.
Hey.
How was that? That was fun.
What do I hear? I hear the muttering of defeat going on up here.
I-I don't know.
It sounds just like that.
I still don't think it counts as a win.
Did I beat you? When I was flying past you, I looked behind me, and the rooster tail was just raining despair on the both of you guys.
See? All we needed was 24 hours and a boat, helicopter, plane, and a river, but I beat you.
It was a big rooster tail.
I'll give you that.
Yeah.
I've got to get one of these suits.
- I feel left out.
- Yeah.
You hungry? That's a great show ending.
You hungry? Yeah, let's get out of here.
There's a good taco joint in town, but I'm driving.
- Tacotime? -Yeah.
Yeah.
Anytime you go there, it's time for tacos.
I like it.
Come on, "Rut"! Get out of my way! Oh! Ohh! And we challenge him to an epic race.
You cheated.
Here in the U.
S.
, when most people think of racing, they think of sports like NASCAR or motocross, but not me.
I think of this.
Rally racing.
Rally racing involves driving modified production cars at high speed along narrow dirt roads in the wilderness with no safety barriers to stop you from crashing into, well, just about anything.
Since Rut and Adam are constantly ragging on my favorite sport as being easy, I decided to invite them to rally school, just outside Seattle, to prove them wrong.
Yeah, rally's a big deal in Europe.
It's not super-popular here, but maybe it's just 'cause it looks like you're just driving around, lost on a dirt road, going really fast.
Yeah, it's just a bunch of Europeans in small cars driving through the woods with a bunch of other drunk Europeans standing too close, watching them.
Speaking of little things flying through the woods Huh? Don't you guys do this in stadiums? No, that's rally cross, which came from rally racing.
But rally racing's one of the original motorsports ever.
Like, it's a massive sport.
Nascar big sport.
Sure.
Rally has more than 10 times the viewership every race as nascar.
And the reason for that is it's badass.
From a driving standpoint Mm-hmm.
There's hardly any other sport that's as challenging or as much fun.
Well, I'll be honest.
Really doesn't look that hard.
It's really just driving fast on dirt roads.
I mean, it's basically what everyone in the South has grown up doing all their lives.
Yeah, 'cause there's no pavement.
True.
I mean, eventually, pavers are gonna make to the South, but I think it's harder than you think.
You've said that line many times, haven't you? Really? Yeah.
Okay.
Grab your helmets, guys.
We're gonna try this out.
Rally racing may look easy to the untrained eye, but it requires intense focus and precision.
The cars may appear to be regular street cars, but they're actually very far from it.
In even the most basic rally cars, the interiors are stripped, there's a steel roll cage, and the engines are tuned to crazy horsepower numbers.
Plus, there's a hydraulic handbrake to lock up the back tires for those hairpin turns.
I set up a simple course to give Adam and Rut a taste of what rally is all about.
Here we go.
All right.
Very simple.
Yeah.
He's just accelerating on gravel.
Got a little bit of a yump for them.
Get all up to speed for the chicane right after it.
Okay, that's kind of cool.
That yeah.
Then a big hairpin turn.
I can do that in my sleep, though.
That's nothing.
Wag the tail both ways.
Oh, my God.
Oh, the all-wheel drive is so fun.
Then, you got to kick it a little sideways over the jump.
Ohh.
Oh, this is so fun.
Come on, old Subaru! Go, go, go, go, go! He's a good driver, but did you see the hair? Huh? Now, this is a track that is just the basics.
This is nothing like 100 miles an hour in the forest around a turn you don't know.
I mean, it takes practice.
Listen.
Yeah.
You've been doing this, what, most of your life, and sadly, this is all you really have in the world, which is fine.
But if we had some training, I think we could take you on in a race.
I mean, we're at Dirtfish.
It seems logical.
How much time do we need to practice? I don't know.
24 hours.
24 hours? That's all you need? Okay.
We have a race in 24 hours.
Yeah.
I love it.
I love it.
I'm in.
Enjoy.
Have fun.
Okay.
Good luck.
Do you mean that "good luck," or is that like, "good luck.
I'm driving off.
" No, I didn't mean it.
- Okay.
- He didn't mean it.
Cakewalk.
Could beat him at anything.
Unfortunately, our first lesson was not in a car.
Welcome to Dirtfish rally school.
The sport of rally actually started back in 1894 with the first event held in France.
All right? Sadly, neither French nor history were our strong suits.
Using the weight in the car.
And then, it got even more complicated.
We really want to rely on rotation.
And how we're gonna do that is with weight transfer.
Have you guys ever heard of this before? Yeah.
I quit eating fried stuff, and I've had a weight transfer myself.
It usually happens when he walks downstairs.
Coffee.
That'll do it.
This wasn't getting us anywhere, and we had less than 24 hours to prepare for our race against Tanner.
And looking through the corner.
Right? Let's get out of here.
So we decided to take matters into our own hands.
We're gonna keep going around on this until I feel that you're safe enough that we don't ride any cars off and that you're looking far enough through your turns.
If Adam and I were gonna stand a chance of even completing tomorrow's race, we needed to learn fast, so I texted an old buddy for help.
Bucky Lasek is a skateboarding legend and one of the latest extreme-sports champions to embrace rally.
Now, he's one of Tanner's rivals, so if anyone could teach us how to be competitive, it was him.
Allow me to introduce my friend, Bucky Lasek, the king of vert, the baddest skateboarder to ever live.
What is up? Dude, I'm glad you got my text.
- Happy to help.
- Right on.
Thanks for coming, man.
I was wondering if you could give us a few pointers.
You know, help us not kill ourselves in these.
Well, this is a perfect place to come.
You guys are looking a little rusty, so let's go have some fun, and let's get you guys in a car.
- Sounds good.
- Let's do that.
I don't know if I look rusty.
You smell rusty.
When do I get one of those cool hats? Bucky had set up a course through the woods.
We were getting down to some serious training.
Since we had wasted an hour in class, we had no time to lose.
- Oh, here we go.
- This is it.
Now, bucky, you race an s.
T.
I.
For Subaru, right? So, what do I need to know here? Basically, this is like the same car that I race.
Mine is 300 horsepower, and it's got a six-speed transmission and gravel tires.
So, what are you gonna do, just throw us in there, drive us around, tell us what to do? I'm not gonna do anything.
You are.
And I'm just basically gonna rely on this cage to save me.
Perfect.
See, you got a plan.
Buckle up real tight.
- I heard that.
- Okay.
So, the first thing bucky had to do was assess our strengths and weaknesses.
Okay.
Well, weaknesses.
I'll be your navigator.
Okay.
Long right.
Long right.
Brake, brake, brake, brake, brake, brake.
You get the insurance? Which way you going? - That was the hairpin, right? - Yeah.
All right, right here.
A hard brake and point it.
Point it now.
Oh, up.
Too early.
Too early.
- So, that wasn't good.
- Yeah.
That was pretty scary.
Fortunately, I wasn't the only one with a lot to learn.
All right, gas, gas, gas, gas, gas.
Okay.
This is faster.
I'm gonna oh, hey.
Whoa, too big, too big, too big, too big, too big, too big, too big, too big.
All right, a little Scandinavian flick right here.
Oh, sure.
Oh, yeah.
That's something you do in the car, not something you order on a menu.
Brake hard.
Okay.
Stop.
Stop.
How'd I do? You okay? You all there? I think I'm okay.
Coming up, while we continue our training, Tanner competes in a genuine rally race.
Whoo-hoo! And later, we meet back up to try and beat him in the ultimate showdown.
We were in Washington state when Adam and Rutledge had foolishly challenged me to a rally race.
While X-Game superstar Bucky Lasek was trying to hone their nonexistent skills, I headed South to one of the biggest rally races on the North American circuit.
The nameless rally is raced over 120 miles of rough logging roads and forest trails.
In this ultimate test of machine versus mother nature, drivers and their copilots risk life and limb as they navigate some of the toughest driving terrain on earth.
I've made a call and arranged to race part of it.
But to make things interesting, I'd be driving something a little different.
What makes a great rally-racing car to me? Well, it's got to be insanely quick.
It's got to have great braking, great handling.
It's got to have crazy traction on just about any surface All things most people wouldn't associate with a Mini.
This is the $25,000 Paceman all 4 Cooper S.
It's based on the countryman, which is the S.
U.
V.
-sized Mini that's not really "mini" in any way.
Its 1.
6-liter turbo has 184 horsepower, does a top speed of 134 miles an hour, and it'll do zero to 60 in around 8 seconds.
Nothing too spectacular, but that may be because it's pulling over 3,200 pounds of weight around.
When you think of Mini these days, really, you tend to think of who drives them.
Sure, they're popular with women, men that wave, and miniature versions of Rutledge, hipsters tight jeans, you know, that sort of thing.
But what you might be surprised to learn is that Mini actually is a legendary name in the world of racing, especially in the world of rally.
Back in the '60s, the original Mini was tuned up by legendary formula one driver and car builder John Cooper.
The result was a car that took the racing world by storm, winning three Monte Carlo rallies and becoming a motorsport legend in Europe.
What made the original Mini so good was its pure simplicity.
It was impossibly lightweight and nimble.
It was like a golf cart with windows and a roof and a big engine.
And unfortunately, in order to sell to the gadget-rich hipsters, this car is incredibly complex.
You got dynamic stability control.
You got traction control, A.
B.
S.
You've got a "sport" button here the Mini calls the "yippee" button.
So, my question is this.
Has the 2013 Mini Paceman sacrificed its proud rally heritage in favor of high-tech safety features and trendy-sounding driving modes? To find out, we're gonna kick its ass.
There are very few motorsports that are as hard on their vehicles and their drivers as rally racing.
Rally cars have very specialized suspension, rally tires, and racing brakes.
They have roll cages that are so robust, racers can actually survive crashes upwards of 100 miles an hour into the forest.
This mini paceman has no roll cage.
It does have seven airbags, but apart from two seats and some seatbelts I added for safety, it is bone stock.
Your hairdresser probably drives one.
So, if it can survive what is coming up next, I, for one, will be very impressed.
To help keep me alive, I'd arranged to meet up with my long-time co-driver.
- Chrissie Beavis.
- Oh, hi, there.
All rally drivers have a co-driver.
Their job is to scout the course and make what are called pace notes.
Chrissie would read these to me through an intercom so I'd know what was coming around each blind corner.
- Nice-looking rides.
- Yeah.
Lots of new stuff here.
Nothing quite as new as ours, though.
Yeah.
Do you want to check it out? All right.
What is it? I'll show you.
Have fun.
Good luck.
Thanks.
All right.
Here it is.
2013 Paceman.
Cooper s.
All4.
An all4, huh? Yeah.
It's all-wheel drive.
It's got to weigh a lot.
3,200 pounds.
I mean, she's a big girl.
Street tires? Street tires.
Yeah, they're essentially like racing slicks on gravel.
It's not safe is the one thing.
It doesn't have a roll cage, obviously.
Why don't we get buckled up? We'll do that.
It's gonna be really fun.
Every rally race is made up of a series of stages, and this one was 11 miles long.
The idea is to get the fastest time possible for each stage.
Then, these are added up for your final time.
Usually, cars leave with a one-minute gap between them.
Normally, that's enough to ensure that no one catches you, but normally, you're not in a stock Mini that's about at home in the woods as an eskimo eating Habanero peppers in the Sahara at midday.
You know, the closer you get to actually driving on the stage, the more you realize that a street car is not suited for this type of work.
Whatever.
Let's just go 100 miles an hour through the trees.
Sounds like a good idea.
15 seconds.
All right.
I'm gonna go ahead and and go into the manual mode of my automatic transmission, again, highlighting how this is not a good idea.
10 seconds.
Okay.
Here we go.
And we're off.
Five plus.
Right six.
Don't crash.
Pretty good acceleration for street tires.
Got such good potential.
Stability control is freaking out.
These are the turns the car should be amazing, but the D.
S.
C.
just cuts in.
There, stay right.
It doesn't let you slide at all.
It's really ridiculous.
Come on, you bastard.
Go, go, go, go.
It feels like it wants to change direction really quick.
Open, so stay left.
But there's just so much stuff holding it back.
The D.
S.
C.
won't let it turn direction.
The electric steering is kind of funky.
There's so much kind of going for this car but also so many crutches for daily driving that just keep it from putting in a good stage time.
Five miles in, and the mini was showing none of its rally heritage.
In fact, trying to drive this car on this course this fast was downright dangerous.
Come on.
What was that? Uh-oh.
(bleep) Sounded like the back of the car just fell off.
Oh, the D.
S.
C.
is broken.
Whoo-hoo! We can finally slide it.
Yeah! There we go.
That's what a car should feel like.
That's way better, yeah.
Right? Six miles in, and with the dynamic stability control broken, the Paceman was finally free from the electronic safety features that had been holding it back.
All right, hammer down now.
This was more like it.
Power! Go, go, go, go, go! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! That was close.
Caution bump.
Oh-ho-ho.
It's a big landing.
It does have the DNA of that old mini in there somewhere.
There's something in its nature that wants to go faster on these roads.
It turns so quick.
It slides into the corners really nicely.
It's got a rally car in it.
It's got the DNA.
It's just got the electronics messing everything up.
Four plus over crest.
120 through the finish.
And as for the end result, well, it's safe to say I didn't finish on the podium, but I did finish fifth and beat 28 racecars, which is pretty impressive for a street car on street tires.
And as for the Paceman Cooper S all4, well, it's fun.
It is a lot of fun, like the original Mini.
There you go.
Looking good.
With our race against Tanner approaching, we both step up our game.
That was way better.
Adam and I had met Tanner in Washington state to learn about rally racing and ended up challenging him to a race.
While he had been off competing in an actual rally Whoa, too big, too big, too big, too big.
We were training hard with a little help from professional racecar driver Bucky Lasek.
So, that wasn't good.
Yeah.
So far, it hadn't gone very well, but things were beginning to look up.
You have to get used - to how the car slows itself down sideways.
- Uh-huh.
- If you try to drive it like normal braking - Uh-huh.
You'll be way too slow.
And once you turn it sideways, the car brakes naturally because it's sliding sideways on the wheels.
All right, just give it what you got, - and I'll chime in.
- Sounds good.
Always keep your left foot on the brake.
Brake, brake.
- Here we go.
- There you go.
Keep it straight.
Point it.
Go.
Brake.
Point it.
Yeah.
There you go.
Looking good.
- Hard brake left.
- Hard brake left.
Gonna give you a little handbrake.
There you go.
There you go.
Go, go, go, go.
Perfect.
Okay, this time, you do the handbrake.
Okay.
All right.
Brake.
Clutch in.
First gear.
Go.
Nice.
Brake.
Turn in, turn in, turn in, turn in.
Yeah, baby! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Adam had gotten the hang of it.
Now it was my turn.
- Okay, you ready? - Yes, sir.
All right, we got a hairpin right here.
Brake.
Brake.
Turn.
Point.
Go.
Gas, gas, gas, gas, gas.
Perfect.
That was way better.
Brake.
Handbrake.
Up.
There you go.
You got to give it a little bit more handbrake next time.
Brake.
Point it.
There you go.
Perfect.
So far, so good.
That was good.
We had made a huge improvement, but we needed to learn to drive on our own in a race if we were to have any chance against Tanner.
Basically, I want to create a real-life situation of being chased, something to kind of get you motivated.
Motivated, focused.
Cool.
You guys watch National Geographic? - I mean, I've read it.
- Yeah.
I be the coyote, and you guys be the rabbit.
You're gonna chase us? I'll give you a 30-second head start.
Two laps.
So, let's get this straight.
Two laps, 30-second head start.
If you catch us, we lose.
If I catch you, I'm gonna eat you alive.
Okay, let's do it.
You're on.
- You got real nice hair.
- Yeah.
You look like a killer musketeer.
Chicken (bleep) Man.
All our training had come down to this.
Could we fend off Bucky for two 1 1/2-mile laps? Succeed, and we'd have proven that Tanner's favorite sport was a cake walk.
I guess this is a lot like being chased by a bear.
You don't have to be quicker than the bear.
You just got to be quicker than the guy in front of you.
I mean, the difference is Bucky's a professional, and we are definitely not.
You ready? All right, big daddy.
We just got to keep him off us for two laps.
All right, coyote.
Here we go.
In three, two, one.
Go.
Okay, now we're off.
Come on, Rut, get out of my way! The coyote is coming! Oh, double pendulum.
Yes.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh, he's a little sideways there.
All right.
Let's go here.
Down on the brake hard.
Yes.
Okay.
Just like that.
Come on, Rut.
Give me an opening.
Oh! Oh! 30 seconds.
I don't see him yet.
This is intense right now.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm flying.
We hadn't even completed the first lap when Bucky erased our lead.
Oh, this ain't good.
That's one lap down.
There it is.
Brake.
Steer.
Brake.
Gas.
Brake.
Steer.
Okay, now we're flying.
Come on, Rut! I got a coyote on my ass! Oh, he's gonna catch me! Oh, man! Oh, Bucky got around Adam.
Oh, he's on my tail.
Adam and I were training hard for a race against Tanner.
We'd made good progress, and were now in the final stage, trying to stop pro driver Bucky Lasek from overtaking us on a two-lap course.
He'd already passed Adam Oh, man! And now he was coming for me.
Oh, he's on my tail.
Hold him off.
Hold him off! Oh (bleep) Oh, yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
He's breathing down my neck.
Oh.
Oh! Oh! He's got me on the inside! Damn it! The coyote had defeated us.
Maybe there was more to rally racing than we'd thought.
That didn't go very well.
That sucked.
Sorry, guys.
Coyote wins.
To have any chance against race boy, we'd have to come up with a plan and fast.
Okay, well, now what? I got an idea.
Overnight, we perfected our plan.
Phase one, location Hells Canyon on the Snake river on the other side of Washington state.
I told "tiny dancer" to meet us there at noon, where I had Rut waiting with phase two.
What the hell? What the hell is that? Yeah.
What? Is that the new Vanquish? This yeah, it is.
And what a car it was.
The new flagship Aston Martin 6-liter v-12, 565 horsepower, zero to 60 in just over 4 seconds.
Tanner was in trouble.
That's not even a rally car, my friend.
What's going on? Who said it had to be a rally car? What's this? Well, that was It was kind of the whole flavor of the race, right? A rally car.
That's an actual rally car.
That's probably a $500,000 racecar.
This looks very similar to the cars we had at Dirtfish.
"Very similar.
" Plus another $300,000, $400,000.
Rut was right.
This was the Subaru rally team U.
S.
A.
's actual car, fresh from a rally America race in Pennsylvania.
With 350 brake horsepower, 480 foot-pounds of torque, and zero to 60 in 4 seconds on gravel, Rut should have been pleading for mercy.
But instead, he seemed kind of confident.
How are you gonna go off-road with that thing? Who said we had to go off-road? We just said I mean, how fast does that even go, like 100 and 83 miles an hour.
What? Yeah, how fast does that go? Not 183 miles an hour.
You cheated.
If you can show up in this, what the hell is Adam gonna be in? Oh, my goodness.
This was a big miscommunication.
Phase two of our master plan had Tanner rattled.
Time for phase three To beat him into submission.
Wow.
That looks incredibly dangerous.
Huh? You brought a boat? This is total insanity.
Actually, it's pure insanity.
This orange beast had a jet turbine from a huey helicopter pumping out an insane 1,400 horsepower, and it does 120 on the water.
And it's gonna destroy you in this and you in your little suit.
Are you driving or riding? I wanted to drive.
Turns out I'm riding.
Oh.
You're dead.
Not necessarily.
We have officially derailed, gentlemen.
This isn't a race.
It's a race.
We never said "rally race.
" This is ridiculous.
Our master plan clearly had Tanner worried, but we were gonna make it fairish.
While our start and finish lines were the same, we'd all take different routes to get there.
With no obstacles or tight turns, my boat would have to travel the furthest, 13 miles.
With twisty roads slowing Rut's Aston down, he would have to cover 10 miles.
As for captain rally-pants, with most of his off-road course littered with hairpin turns and Mountain drop-offs, he'd have to go the shortest distance, just six miles to the finish at the old grain tower.
Mountain or not, this goes zero to 60 in 4 seconds on the dirt.
Did you know that? Did you know that? Later.
See ya.
The start line was four miles away.
Time to mount up.
My driver was world-champion jet-boat racer Ryan Rogers.
He was as orange as his boat and just as crazy.
Is this a roll cage? It's full chrome-alloy roll cage.
Thank God it's full of chrome.
It's a boat.
But if we ever, you know, had an accident, and we hit the bank and rolled up the bank, we need to be fully protected.
I'm sorry.
"Hit the bank"? If we do hit the bank.
Have you ever hit the bank before? No, not yet.
While I was contemplating what was probably my last moments on earth Rut was living it up in the lap of British automotive luxury.
This might look like every other Aston Martin, but I promise you it's not.
This is the tuxedo of supercars.
The Vanquish is the most technically advanced car Aston Martin has ever made, and this one is a downright steal at just 310 grand.
It's got three driving modes Normal, sport, and track.
I'm just riding around in normal mode.
It's stunning.
It's elegant.
You put it in sport It feels like you've definitely done a deal with the devil.
Track mode.
You have clearly sold your soul.
You ready to go? Let's do it, big daddy.
So, now what are we doing? Starting it.
Wow, that's hot.
That's really hot.
I don't think that's a good sign.
All right.
Go get lined up at the start.
Got the ambulance in place.
Okay.
Here we go.
This was it Our best chance ever to beat Tanner at his own game.
I just need to be fast.
I need to stay in front of Tanner, and I need to stay in front of that boat.
Why is he pointed the wrong way? Hey, Adam.
It's that way.
Yeah, yeah, we got it covered.
Don't worry about me.
He has a point.
All right, here we go.
I mean, what we're about to do is very dangerous.
You ready, Tanner? Ready here.
Ready, Adam? Hell, yeah! Here we go in five, four, three, two, one.
Go! Oh, here we go! Oh, I'm pulling it! Oh, yeah! Come on! Aah! Wait! I'm not ready.
I still got Oh (bleep) It's neck and neck.
Oh, no! The Aston is quick.
It is absolutely neck and neck.
So long, Tanner.
Whoa! There it is! This is fast.
No! No! Holy crap! It's just eating this pavement alive.
Holy (bleep) Should my balls be in my throat? Wait till we step on it.
How fast we going now? That's that's good.
Yeah.
That's good enough.
Rut and Adam may have been ahead, but now, a mile and a half into the race, it was my chance to get back into the game.
In his Vanquish, Rut had to follow the paved road as it cut inland, while I could take the direct route.
Yeah! Oh, my God.
This thing is just demolishing this road.
This is a treacherous turn.
I got to be honest.
Without Chrissie, this is incredibly dangerous.
Whoa.
The problem is you don't realize how much speed you're actually carrying until it's too late.
Okay.
Oh, look at that.
Man, it is so nice into turns.
All right, that's 130 right there.
Yeah, this is a 35 limit, for the record.
Meanwhile, back in the boat, we were already four miles in, and there was no sign of the other two.
Wow! But then Look, it's Tanner.
He's caught up to us.
There's the boat right there.
Oh, my God, it's so quick! Come on, baby.
It is absolutely neck and neck! I think I got him! No, I don't! He is gone! Oh, my gosh! Look at the speed on that boat! Are you kidding me?! Going 115.
Aah! 115 miles per hour! Take that, rally boy! I don't think I can do it and keep this on the road.
I'm over 100 miles an hour, and he's still pulling away from me.
Good God! I might have lost out to Adam on the straightaway, but he still had seven miles to go to the finish line Okay, here's my turnoff.
This is where I leave the river.
While I only had three as I jammed my shortcut over the Mountain.
The downside was that to have any chance of winning, I'd have to average 80 miles an hour on loose gravel.
Now we're climbing the hill.
Climb, baby, climb.
Oh, my gosh.
This is steep.
Oh, this is a tight turn.
Oh, my gosh.
It is dangerous.
Good God! We were in the middle of an epic race on pavement, water, and gravel.
Whoa! At the halfway point, I was trailing Rutledge and Adam.
But now was my chance to reel them back in using my shortcut over the mountains As long as I didn't fly off a cliff.
Oh, my gosh.
It is dangerous.
Good God! Whoo! That was close.
Oh, she is bouncing all over the place.
Ohh! He's getting scared.
It's hard to describe how dangerous and fun this is all at the same time.
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Almost to the top.
Come on, baby! Ave Maria jungfrau mild Wow.
115.
120.
Oh, there's a cattle guard! With only three miles to go, the pavement rejoined the river, and there was no sign of Adam anywhere.
Oh, my gosh.
We are flying now.
Lucy, I'm home! Oh, my gosh! That's so fast! Did you miss me? Oh, that boat is fast! All right, blind hill.
Wow.
We are flying.
Oh! Oh, come on! I was going 90 miles an hour into the corners, but the boat had left me in its wake.
Ah, ha ha ha! So long, big girl! With just a mile and a half to go, my boat was hitting 120 miles an hour.
There was no way Rut could keep up.
There it is! There's the finish.
We won! Yes! Yes! Our plan had worked.
I had beaten Tanner.
Now all Rut had to do was come in second to put the final nail in his tiny coffin.
Oh, here we go.
Now I'm cooking.
All right.
Coming to the end of the gravel now.
All right, I see the road.
Oh, what was that? Is that Tanner? Oh, it's like "Days of Thunder"! I can't see anything! Oh, gosh! Whoo! That was close.
Oh, my God.
That was ridiculous.
Where did Tanner come from? Now the speed's getting up there.
It's about as fast as this car will ever go.
Now, he knows I've got the faster car.
He's trying to take me on the inside.
Not gonna happen.
Oh, I've got enough room.
I've got enough room.
There's no way I'm letting him by.
Ohh, here it is.
I mean, I'm not gonna block him.
That would be cheating.
Ohh, come on! No cheaters here.
No way.
Come on! Oh.
Oh, the windshield's just getting pelted.
Oh (bleep) That's the windshield.
There's the finish! Come on, baby! 130 miles an hour, baby! Almost there! Come on! Yeah! Ohh! Whoo-hoo! Ugh, Tanner! Yeah.
Real cool, man.
Glad you boys could make it.
My eyes are watering because that was awesome.
Yeah.
That's really nice.
A win's a win.
I feel like blocking is cheating.
Look, it's a race.
How do we know that's Adam? It's oh, it is.
I guess he lived.
- That's good news.
- Yeah.
Hey.
How was that? That was fun.
What do I hear? I hear the muttering of defeat going on up here.
I-I don't know.
It sounds just like that.
I still don't think it counts as a win.
Did I beat you? When I was flying past you, I looked behind me, and the rooster tail was just raining despair on the both of you guys.
See? All we needed was 24 hours and a boat, helicopter, plane, and a river, but I beat you.
It was a big rooster tail.
I'll give you that.
Yeah.
I've got to get one of these suits.
- I feel left out.
- Yeah.
You hungry? That's a great show ending.
You hungry? Yeah, let's get out of here.
There's a good taco joint in town, but I'm driving.
- Tacotime? -Yeah.
Yeah.
Anytime you go there, it's time for tacos.
I like it.